#Justin Herbert angst

[w1ldthoughts]

(Not So) Happy Birthday

A/n: An anon request to kick off sad girl winter😌

Johnston! Can’t pull it in! It hit him in the hands at the 35 of Green Bay. Carrington Valentine on the coverage but Johnston couldn’t snatch it.

Two weeks in row. Two bone crushing loses. 533 yards of offense allowed. Last place in the AFC West. Millions of questions about a broken finger. A delay of game that caused a public outburst. So many fleeting moments that impacted him beyond explanation and all you could do was watch cautiously as he tried to pick up the broken pieces of this shattered season. He’d been upstairs in his home office watching film for the last three hours, reviewing it frame by frame, wracking his brain on where he could be better, even though you knew this mess wasn’t a result of his shortcomings.

You tiptoed up to his door, mentally giving yourself a pep talk before knocking. As soon as you heard “come in,” you practically floated to his chair with how fast you got to him. The depression beard was creeping its way back in and a part of you hoped that he’d trim it before it got out of hand like the last time. Settling in his lap with a gentle kiss on his cheek, you glanced at one screen that had a repeat shot of Donald Pathan’s fourth down drop, feeling your boyfriend tense underneath you.

“So, I was thinking…” you muse, trying to gauge the mood of your audience.

“Tomorrow we should—”

“I can’t do anything tomorrow.” He sighs, rubbing his face with his hand. “Derwin and I decided that a player’s only meeting was needed. We have a lot of shit to talk about so we might as well all do it together and really regroup as a unit. Offense, defense, special teams. We should all be on the same page and we clearly haven’t been.”

He had to be joking. “Wait, so we’re not spending ANY time together tomorrow? You’ll be with the team all day?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I’m the quarterback y/n. These guys expect me to lead them I can’t blow off the team because you want us to go to bottomless mimosas. I’ll make it up to you in the off-season, I swear.” His eyes look sincere, with a hint of sadness to them and you just want to make it all better, but all you can focus on right now is how hurt you are. Blinking back tears, you nod your head and stand up, running a hand down his back and letting him continue to watch film.

The only thing that kept you from absolutely losing it was the hope that deep down he was kidding. There was no way he’d spend his day off in a friendship circle with his teammates instead of celebrating your birthday. You refused to believe that.

Waking up the next morning had you feeling off but optimistic. You skipped down the stairs hoping to find a birthday breakfast or at the very least a smoothie and your boyfriend’s smiling face. You were met with…nothing. Just as you were pulling out your phone to call him, you got a text from your best friend, demanding that you be ready in 20 minutes for brunch and you guessed it, bottomless mimosas. You forgot all about Justin and about what you had to do, for a few hours.

After the team meeting had wrapped up, Will came up to him, clearly trying to make sure he was actually fine and not just saying it. They talked a bit about the next few games and how they would handle practice this week as well as having Justin host team dinner at his house before the end of the regular season.

“Oh hey by the way, tell y/n I said happy birthday. Get out of here and go celebrate man, I can’t believe she let you host this meeting, Lizzie would’ve killed me.” The center watched the blood drain from his teammate’s face and his smile dropped immediately. “Justin please tell me you didn’t forget, please.”

“I uh—I gotta go Will. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Justin rushes out, grabbing his stuff and jogging to the parking lot. He called in a favor and stopped by your favorite bakery, grabbed a dozen balloons from another store and headed home as soon as humanly possible.

The usual spot on the driveway where you parked your car was empty and that made him feel even more guilty. His call going straight to voicemail 20 seconds later made him feel even worse. For two hours he sat in the living room, trying to come up with a way to make it up to you but deep down he knew that no grand gesture could dig him out of this one.

“Hi.” He immediately stood up to greet you as you walked in the door but you didn’t return the hug.

“How was your meeting? You guys fix things?” It hurt that you genuinely looked interested in how his day was, when he’d completely forgotten to celebrate your day.

“I think we got somewhere, yeah. But listen, I just”

“I’m gonna go change,” you interrupt him, “then you can tell me what happened.”

Before you could make it upstairs his voice stopped you in your tracks. “Are we really not going to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” You sigh as you turn around.

“Come on y/n, I know. I fucked up.”

You sigh deeply, not wanting the gravity of the upcoming conversation ruining the fun day you had. “What exactly did you do Justin?”

“I forgot your birthday and I’m sorry. You know how crazy it’s been the last few weeks with my finger and the losses piling up and the rumors about coach. But I still should have remembered and I feel terrible. How can I fix it?” You almost forgave him right there, those big green eyes knew how to draw you in. But not this time.

“There’s nothing to fix J, don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal which is why I wasn’t going to bring it up.”

“It’s not a big deal that your boyfriend forgot your birthday.” He pipes up, feeling his frustration growing by the minute. “I’m sorry but I’m not buying it. I know I hurt you. Just be honest with me about how you feel. Lay it on me, I deserve it.”

You stifle a laugh. “Be honest? That’s really rich coming from you, Mr. ‘In touch with his emotions.’ When was the last time you actually told me how you’re feeling about anything? And I’m not talking about you being upset about someone taking up two parking spots. I mean what do you think about when you lie in bed, wide awake for hours while you think I’m asleep? How do you feel with this big new contract and all these expectations but lackluster results? You wanna talk? Let’s really talk.” You cross your arms, physically shielding yourself and not allowing him to see the pain he caused.

His shoulders relax at your expression and most of the anger subsides. “I love the guys in that locker room. But do I want friends more than I want a Super Bowl? I have so much football left to play with this team and I don’t want to look back 10 years from now, having played almost two decades in the NFL with nothing to show for it other than bruises and decent stats. I want to leave a legacy.”

“But I’ve been so caught up in my own world that I forgot about one of the most important things in my life and I can’t apologize to you enough. I know you’re mad but I got you your favorite cake and I’m all yours tomorrow after practice, no extra throwing, nothing. Just you and me. How does that sound?”

These were words that you’d been waiting to hear all day. Hell for the last 13 days. And here he was doing just that. But you felt nothing.

“I’m not mad you forgot my birthday, I’m just recognizing that there might just be some things that aren’t worth fighting for.” He reaches out for you but you take a step back, standing your ground.

“Are—are you talking about us? Our relationship isn’t worth fighting for?”

You could practically feel the stress radiating off of him and you were in no place to provide any comfort, so you stared at your feet. “I love everything about you. You’re fearlessly loyal and kind and you quite literally never give up on anything that you set your mind to. You might be the greatest human being on this Earth.” Your voice begins to tremble and you swallow the lump forming in your throat to continue.

“You give everything to your team and to football and I just—I can’t compete with that. I tried to but,” you let out a wet laugh as a tear escapes your eyes. “There just isn’t a way for you to find the balance right now. And that’s okay. I promise, I’m so glad I got to spend all this time with you and—”

Justin wipes another stray tear from your face. “We don’t have to do this. People who love each other this much don’t just end things without trying to work through them. Please.” He begs.

“People who love each other also know when time to let go. Babe, we want different things right now. You want to win games and prove that this organization taking a chance on you was worth it and I—I want someone who is going to love me and cherish me as much as I cherish them. Justin I would never forget you, but I’d never make you choose between me and your job either. I have to protect myself and take care of my own heart right now. And to do that, I have to let you go.”

He closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath, wrapping you up in his arms. A slow tear lands on your shoulder as you both hold each other tight, knowing that it may be the last time.

The next few minutes consist of packing a bag and promising to come back later when he’s not home to grab the rest of your stuff. He silently walked you to the door and placed a goodbye kiss on your forehead for old times sake. Without another word, you were gone and the door was closed behind you.

A notification pops up on his phone for a dinner reservation that he must have made weeks ago at one of your favorite places. Something in him snapped and he threw the phone across the room, hearing it shatter as it slammed against the wall.

“Happy birthday, y/n.” He whispered, taking a seat on the couch to put his head in his hands.

[lyrenminth]

The one who got away

Angst. Fwb situation with Justin.

In another life

I would be your girl

We keep all our promises

Be us against the world.

You didn't know how it began. These dirty feelings for him. The way your heartbeat increases watching him making you a sandwich after fucking the life out of you. It was unnatural, unwanted, unexpected.

It was unreasonable knowing damn well you weren't ready for a relationship. But you enjoyed the way the treated you, how smooth his skin was, how strong he was not having a problem fucking you standing up, how his hips connected with yours and how raspy and masculine his hands felt while touching your body.

And you didn't want to think about the other side. The side it that made your mind betray every rational thought. The side that made you dream of a house with a beautiful garden and little children with blond hair and slint eyes running all over the place. The side that made your heart hurt.

You had your life's plan already and that never include a 6'6 athletic man in the mix, and for once you wanted to follow your path after fighting for a ounce of independence with your family. You could hear Meg voice telling you "don't lose your mind for a dick" and she knew better than you in many aspects.

But you looked at him, all focused cutting the sandwich in a perfect half (like you like it) and pouring grape juice (your favorite) in a tall glass. You knew it was a dangerous territory to have this family dynamics with him, but you couldn't stop.

And Justin looked like he didn't want either. You saw each other at least twice a week, only to undress each other, but everything started when he asked to stay a little more time. Suddenly, you were having deep conversations about football and your deeply dislike of mac-and-cheese. Sharing silly stories from your childhoods, those he would never share with the media.

The mistake of Justin was paying attention to you like he actually care. And you mistake was believe that he actually care.

Now you were pondering in that horrible and hurtful question: are we fuck buddies or something else? And the answer was unclear for you too. Because you can't...you must not like him.

Your dreams were first. You were first. You traveling schedule, your clothing brand, your goal of becoming someone important by your own right. Having Justin in that equation with his almost-celebrity status tainted your purpose. You weren't Gisele Bündchen.

"Here you have" he said, giving you your plate and sitting next to you. He made two sandwiches for himself, you knew how much he liked to eat. He was a big foodie just like you.

You still felt the spams in your core, the emptiness of something missing. It was to early to fuck again? Your libido with him was always high. How annoying.

"Thank you" you started eating avoiding looking at his beautiful face.

"I was wondering if you are going to stay in LA for the next week?" he asked, cleaning his lips with a napkin.

"Yeah, I leave in two weeks" you put your sandwich down, feeling the butterflies in your stomach. You wanted to punch yourself. "Why?"

"Umm" he played with his napkin. Was he nervous? "I got an extra ticket for the game, and if you want it it's yours"

You frowned. How agressive were those damn butterflies?

"Someone in your family can't go?" it must be. It has to be.

"Yeah, something like that" he looked at you, and your eyes went to his lips as usual.

"We say no public sightings" it was a rule he proposed. "Technically, we are not going to be together" he said.

Stay true to yourself. You can deal with a broken heart, you can't live his ways. Stay true to yourself. Love come and goes.

You bit your lip, and lower your gaze. It was your fault for allowing these interactions. The truth was you were scared, you didn't want to lose yourself but you enjoyed his company.

"What do you say?" his tone was so kind and hopeful that made you want to run away and throwing yourself at him in happiness. All at the same time.

You didn't want to know how he felt about you. Maybe he was in love, maybe he wasn't.

You sighed, not hungry anymore. You turned around to face him.

"Justin, I can't" it was the truth, it was the painful truth. "I can't go to your games, and I can't keep doing this" you move your hand between your bodies "I-um...I-" you gasped for air, feeling the knot in your throat "We agree this was something casual"

Maybe in another life. In another moment of your life. But not that night.

"I know" was all he said, frowning.

"Then, let's keep it casual, ok?"

"Yeah" he sounded sad? It was your imagination.

"I mean...I don't want to catch feelings and going to your games and all that stuff" your shake your head "It's going to erase the lines. I need the lines, Justin"

"Okay"

"Maybe we need a time apart too" he laughed without fun at you proposal "I don't want to catch feelings" you repeated "And you have tons of choices, I mean there are girls throwing themselves at you. You aren't going to starve" you joked trying to light the mood.

Then you saw how he closed himself. His expression hardened and you swore his eyes lost all shine.

"If that's what you want" he said, serious.

I don't know what I want, dumbass.

"It's what I need"

He only nodded. Yup, he was mad. But why? He started cleaning the table, you noticed he didn't eat much too.

"I'm going to call an Uber" you stated, understanding he didn't want you there, you started looking for you phone.

"It's too late. I'm gonna take you to your house" he declared.

It's something you liked about him, he could be mad but he wasn't an asshole.

"You don't have to" you find your purse, and took out your phone.

"Don't argue with me. It's late, it's dangerous. I know you don't want to spend more time with me but at least let me take you to your house so I know you're safe" he sounded bitter, and sad.

Wow. You stopped what you were doing only to look at him. He turned around, avoiding your gaze, like looking at you was unbearable.

"Thank you" you whispered.

The car ride was silent. And you were doubting your decisions. Maybe it was too soon? Too harsh? When you building complex appeared in sight you were about to cry. Why? You were the one who asked for it. You looked at his hands, his strong thighs and his stern look...oh.

"Thank you for the ride" you said, clenching to your purse. A heavy energy settle between both. You noticed he was holding tight the steering wheel, his knuckles white.

"You're welcome"

"Thank you for everything" he shook his head slightly at your words. His Adam's apple moving up and down. "Good luck for the rest of you seasons. I truly believe you are a great athlete, and you must be proud of yourself"

He took a deep sigh. "You don't have to do this" he declared, you heart sank "Good night"

And that's how you knew it was over.

"Bye"

In the next month you spend trying to get rid of him. You told your friend to help you to keep your mind free of him. You avoid watching his games, or being closer to anything related to him. It was relatively easy since you never went public with him. But the ache you felt made you sleepless and weak. You cried whole nights, realizing that you miss him. His scent, his dry sense of humor, his warm body, his hugs after sex, how good he made you feel.

Your dreams were the only thing you clinched for dear life. It was the reason you took that decision. Somehow, you didn't find it enough at that moment.

The nail in the coffin was to block his number and unfollow him from social media. After that you become a workaholic, traveling here and there, meetings with others brands, designing new clothes. Efficiency was your second name.

Everything was falling into place, but during some nights you would miss him. The sex, the intimacy. You had to fight against some actions, including stalk him or watch interviews. It was bad because he was a quarterback, face of a franchise. One Subway commercial and you were ready to unblock him. It was pathetic.

You were too stubborn to call him. To admit it. To give a second chance. And you had to learn to live without him.

Because you were the one afraid. The one who got away.

[hornyforherbert]

You Belong With Me ✧

WC: 2018

CW: Angst, Fluff?

A/N: Sorry the wait was so long!

I sat on the bleachers, staring out at the football field, my mind drifting from the game in front of me. The band played in the distance, the crowd cheering as the team scored, but none of it mattered to me. I was too focused on the conversation I just had with Justin, my best friend.

"I can't believe she's still upset about that," I muttered to myself, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear as I pulled out my phone to text Justin.

Before I could type out a message, my phone buzzed with an incoming call. Justin's name lit up the screen, and I answered quickly. "Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, are you at game yet?" Justin's voice came through the phone, a hint of frustration lacing his words.

"Yeah, I'm here. What's going on?" I asked, concern creeping into my tone.

"She's still mad at me for that dumb joke I made the other day. I can't do anything right with her lately," Justin sighed heavily, the weight of his words echoing through the phone. "She just doesn't get you like I do," I said softly, trying to reassure him. "You know how she is."

"Yeah, but it's like she's always mad about something. It's exhausting," Justin said, his frustration evident. "I know, but you'll figure it out. You always do," I offered, hoping to lift his spirits.

"Thanks, Y/N. You always know what to say," Justin said, his voice softening. "I don't know what I'd do without you." "You'll never have to find out," I replied, a smile playing at the corners of my lips. "I'm here for you, always."

We said our goodbyes, and I tucked my phone back into my pocket, letting out a soft sigh. I hated seeing Justin upset, especially when it was about something so trivial. The game continued around me, but my attention was elsewhere. I couldn't shake the feeling that Justin belonged with someone who understood him, someone like me.

As the final buzzer sounded, signaling the end of the game, I stood up and made my way down to meet Justin by the exit. He looked worn out, the weight of his relationship evident in the slump of his shoulders.

"Hey," I said, offering him a sympathetic smile. "How are you holding up?" Justin glanced over at me, a tired grin flickering across his face. "I'll survive. Thanks for being here, Y/N."

"Always," I replied, falling into step beside him as we made our way out of the stadium. We walked in comfortable silence, the cool evening air wrapping around us as we headed towards our favorite spot in town – the park bench where we often found solace.

"So, what's our plan for tonight?" Justin asked, a playful glint in his eyes. "Movie marathon? Ice cream binge?" "Sounds perfect to me," I laughed, the sound bubbling out of me effortlessly. "But only if we can watch the classics."

"Deal," Justin agreed, his smile growing wider as we settled in on the familiar bench. We spent hours lost in old movies and ice cream, our laughter mingling with the night air. For a moment, it felt easy, comfortable – like it was just the two of us against the world.

As the moon rose high in the sky, I glanced over at Justin, the soft glow illuminating his features. He had a smile that could light up the whole town, and for a moment, it was directed at me. "Thanks for tonight, Y/N," Justin said, his voice warm with gratitude.

"Anytime," I replied, my heart fluttering at the way he looked at me. It was a look that spoke volumes, a look that made me wonder if maybe he belonged with me.

We parted ways that night with a promise to catch up soon, but the thoughts swirling in my mind didn't fade as easily. It felt like something had shifted between us, like maybe there was more to our friendship than I had ever realized.

Over the following days, I found myself lost in our conversations, hanging onto his every word, trying to decipher the hidden meanings in his laughter and the way he looked at me.

"Y/N, are you okay? You've been kind of distant lately," Justin said one afternoon as we sat in our favorite café, a concerned expression on his face. "Yeah, I'm fine," I replied with a forced smile, knowing it didn't quite reach my eyes.

Justin studied me for a moment before leaning in closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "Is something going on? You can talk to me, you know."

I hesitated, unsure of how to voice the thoughts that had been swirling in my mind. "It's nothing, really. Just a lot on my mind lately." Justin didn't press further, but I could tell he was still concerned. We fell into an easy conversation, but the weight of unspoken words hung heavily between us. Days turned into weeks, and our interactions seemed to carry an underlying tension – a sense that something was on the verge of breaking free.

I still couldn't shake the fear of losing what we had if I dared to voice my feelings. One night, as I lay in bed, thoughts of Justin consumed my mind. It felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, teetering between the familiar safety of our friendship and the unknown depths of something more.

The next day, I found myself standing outside Justin's house, my heart hammering in my chest as I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. When he opened the door, surprise painted across his face.

"Hey, what brings you here?" Justin asked, ushering me inside. "I need to talk to you," I said, my voice steady despite the butterflies in my stomach. Justin nodded, leading me to the living room where we settled on the couch. His eyes were filled with concern as he waited for me to speak.

"I've been thinking a lot lately," I began, my words cautious. "About us. About our friendship." Justin furrowed his brows, confusion flickering across his face. "What about it?"

"I feel like there's something between us," I admitted, my eyes meeting his. "Something more than just friendship.”

Justin's eyes widened, the realization dawning on him. "Y/N, I... I never realized you felt that way." "I didn't either until recently," I confessed, a weight lifting off my shoulders as the words spilled out. "But I couldn't keep it to myself anymore."

Justin was silent for a moment, processing my words, and then he reached out to take my hand, his touch sending shivers down my spine. "I never want to lose you, Y/N. You're my best friend, and I can't imagine my life without you in it," Justin said, sincerity lacing his words.

"I don't want to lose you either," I replied, my heart aching with the weight of unspoken emotions. We sat in silence, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions swirling between us. It felt like we were standing at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take.

"I need time to think about this," Justin said finally, his gaze never leaving mine. "I need to figure out what this means for us." I nodded, biting back the urge to pour out my heart even further. "Take all the time you need."

Days turned into weeks, and the tension between us seemed to thicken with each passing moment. I couldn't shake the feeling that our friendship hung in the balance, teetering on the edge of something irreversible.

"Y/N, can we talk?" Justin asked one evening, his eyes filled with uncertainty as he took a seat beside me. "Of course," I replied, my heart pounding in my chest. "I've been doing a lot of thinking," Justin began, his voice soft. "And I think I need to be honest with you."

I held my breath, waiting for his words to shatter the fragile balance between us. "I can't imagine my life without you in it," Justin said, his gaze unwavering. "You're my best friend, and you mean everything to me."

Relief flooded through me, but it was quickly overshadowed by the weight of his next words.

"But I don't think I can give you what you're looking for," Justin continued, his voice strained with regret.

"What do you mean?" I asked, the fear creeping into my tone.

"I can't be more than just your friend, Y/N," Justin said, his eyes filled with apology. "I don't want to lose you, but I can't be the person you're looking for."

The words hung heavily between us, a tangible weight settling over the room. It felt like the ground had shifted beneath me, leaving me teetering on the edge of something unknown.

"I understand," I said, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. "I just... I need some time." Justin nodded, his eyes filled with regret as he watched me stand and walk away, leaving behind the shattered remnants of what we once were.

Days turned into weeks, and I found myself lost in a haze of unanswered questions and unspoken words. It felt like I was adrift in an ocean, the waves of Justin's absence crashing over me in relentless tides.

But time marched on, and with it came a dull ache that settled into the fabric of my being, a permanent reminder of what could have been. It was on a typical Tuesday night, much like the ones we used to spend together, that I found myself walking through the park. The memories of our laughter and shared moments lingered in the air, taunting me with what had slipped through my fingers.

The familiar park bench beckoned to me, and I found myself drawn to it, the weight of nostalgia pulling at my heart. I sank onto the bench, letting out a soft sigh as I traced the familiar grooves in the wood. It felt bittersweet, being here without Justin by my side.

As I sat lost in my thoughts, a voice called out from behind me. "Hey, Isn’t this easy?" I turned to find Justin standing there, a hesitant smile playing at the corners of his lips. It felt like a dream – a cruel, twisted dream. "Hey… What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I... I missed you," Justin said, his voice raw with emotion. "I can't stop thinking about what you said, about what we could be." "But you said you couldn't give me what I wanted," I replied, the ache in my chest pulsing with each word. "I was wrong," Justin said, stepping closer. "I can't imagine a life without you in it, Y/N. You belong with me."

It felt like the world was spinning around me, the weight of his words sinking into my bones. I had spent so long thinking we couldn't be anything more, and yet here he was, standing in front of me, laying his heart bare.

"I've missed you too," I admitted, tears pooling in my eyes. "More than I can say."

Justin closed the distance between us, his touch gentle as he wiped away the tears that spilled down my cheeks. It felt like a lifetime of unspoken emotions hung in the air between us, the tension finally giving way to something else – something raw and unfiltered. "I want to give this a chance, Y/N," Justin said, his voice filled with determination.

"I want to be more than just friends.”

The weight of his words hung between us, a promise of something new and unfamiliar. It felt like standing on the edge of a precipice, ready to leap into the unknown.

"I want that too," I whispered, letting go of the weight that had tethered me to the ground for so long. And in that moment, as our hands intertwined and our hearts beat in sync, I always knew that maybe, just maybe we were always meant to find our way back to each other. It felt like coming home.

[k9iriz]

𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐈 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 + 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐈 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑: 𝐍𝐅𝐋

• joe burrow (cincinnati bengals)

• jamarr chase (cincinnati bengals)

• tee higgins (cincinnati bengals)

• jalen hurts (philadelphia eagles)

• travis kelce (kansas city chiefs)

• andrei iosivas (cincinnati bengals)

• rashee rice (kansas city chiefs)

• justin herbert (los angeles chargers)

• trent mcduffie (kansas city chiefs)

• christian mccaffery (san francisco 49ers)

• cj stroud (houston texans)

• justin jefferson (minnesota vikings)

• isaiah pacheco (kanas city chiefs)

• jalen ramsey (miami dolphins)

• anthony richardson (indiana colts)

• tayler hawkins (san francisco 49ers)

• ceedee lamb (dallas cowboys)

• obj - odell beckham jr. (baltimore ravens)

[ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ]

half of these are my past writes to be easier to find, but i do not write for them currently anymore.

• = smut/+18 ♡ = fluff/mushy ☾ = angst

ANDREI IOSIVAS | • family-fuckin' reunion | • nsfw alphabet | ♡ cookie making

JOE BURROW | ♡ playing games

TRAVIS KELCE | • fix me

RHEA RIPLEY (WWE) | ☾, • SERIES: unwanted temptation (1,2) | •, ☾ SERIES: the girl next door (1) | • stocking stuffer | ☾ selfish | • session 777 | ♡ nights with you | • a hard fucking | • assistant | ♡ drabble 2 part series: track of time, pregnancy scares | ☾ ,• SERIES: the heartbreak hotel, again | • watch me | • sick of it, now ride my fingers, bitch.

KYLIAN MBAPPE | • quickie | • 2x ft. neymar jr. | • hubby approved

NEYMAR JR. | ☾ not allowed | • brat | • extravagant | • hubby approved

[boltupbitches]

Football *NFL Fanfiction Masterlist

UPDATED 05/12/2024

You can find my work over on Wattpad under ForzaAzzurri. I’m dual posting my one shots/imagines here and there for my Honeymoons and Heartbreaks series.

Wattpad link: ForzaAzzurri

Layla Herbert Series - Justin Herbert

Part 1 One Day at a Time (angst -> happy ending)

Part 2 Today's the Day

Part 3 Cheers to Us

Part 4 My Daughter Thinks I'm Ugly

Part 5 Birthday Boy

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Honeymoons and Heartbreaks Collection

Jimmy Garoppolo

Joe Burrow (no longer write for)

Her Name? Effie Burrow (fluff)

What Was I Made For? (Angst)

--> What Was I Made For? Part 2

Joey Bosa

Anti-Hero

Justin Herbert

Coffee Spills (fluff)

The One That Got Away (angst -> fluff)

We Can't Be Friends (angst)

Nick Bosa (no longer write for)

Never Really Over [Part I]   [Part II] (angst -> happy ending)

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Sliding in the DMs - Joey Bosa Fic*

*Inspired by She-Bear

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

Part Nine

Part Ten

Part Eleven

Part Twelve

Part Thirteen

Part Fourteen

Part Fifteen

Part Sixteen

Part Seventeen

Part Eighteen

Birthday one shot for Joey with Arty

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Lover -Nick Bosa (Spin-off of Sliding in the DMs)

(HIATUS)

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

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One Kiss - Nick Bosa Fic

(HIATUS)

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

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One shots, Blurbs, and Imagines

Jimmy Garoppolo

Kiss it Better

Joe Burrow (no longer write for)

Damsel in Distress

#1 Fan -> Sequel: Biggest Fan

Clingy

Green Isn't Your Color

Enemies to Lovers

Joey Bosa

Comfort (18+ content)

Less Than Zero

Hotel Workout (18+ content)

She-Bear

Come In (18+ content)

Safeword (18+ content)

Gonna Make You Sweat (18+ content)

Josh Allen (no longer write for)

Blanket Fort

Justin Herbert

Baby Herb

Jealousy (18+ content)

Bad Habits

Self-Deprecating Losers

The Great Outdoors

Workaholic

Team Photographer

Nick Bosa (no longer accepting requests)

Lil McCaffery

We’re Live!

Welcome to the Family

Black Ties

Tee Higgins

Exclusive?

Sam Hubbard

A #94 Jersey

[adoristsposts]

requests!

WHO i write for

nhl. basically anyone not involved in the hockey canada investigation or who is not racist, homophobic, etc

nfl. joe burrow and justin herbert

formula one. the entire grid minus perez, hulkenberg, bottas, and zhou.

outerbanks. jj maybank, pope heyward

++ if you enjoy my fics and do not see a specific fandom / character / person, feel free to send a req anyways!

WHAT i will not write

actual nsfw, stepcest / incest, anything for players under 18

WHAT i do write

fluff, angst, certain meetcute scenarios, fun booktropes lolzies, some media au

[duneonlineschauen]

ganzer film deutsch  Dune 2020 - stream deutsch der  Dune 2020 stream deutsch http://www.filmstarts.de/kritiken/133392/bilder/?cmediafile=21595211 filme im kino >> https://bit.ly/3hFIOeT Dune filmstarts: 17. Dezember 2020 / Sci-Fi, Drama Von Denis Villeneuve Mit Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac Produktionsland USA INHALTSANGABE & DETAILS „Dune“ erzählt die mythische und emotional aufgeladene Geschichte von Paul Atreides (Timothee Chalamet). Er ist ein begabter junger Mann, der in ein großes Schicksal jenseits seines eigenen Verständnisses hineingeboren wurde. So muss Paul zu einem der gefährlichsten Planeten unseres Universums reisen, um die Zukunft seiner Familie und die seines Volkes zu gewähren. Doch bösartige Kräfte mischen sich in den Konflikt um eine kostbare Ressource ein - einer Ware, die das größte Potenzial der Menschheit erschließen kann. In diesem unerbittlichen Kampf werden nur diejenigen überleben, die ihre Angst überwinden können... Die Neuverfilmung des gleichnamigen, populären Sci-Fi-Romans von Frank Herbert. Originaltitel: After We Collided Verleiher: Constantin Film Verleih sehen Sie die besten Filme aller Zeiten und den neuesten film in den Jahren bis 2020 unter denen film  Dune ganzer film,  Dune ganzer film deutsch,  Dune ganzer film deutsch kostenlos,  Dune ganzer film onine,  Dune stream deutsch,  Dune film online und  Dune online gratis. Sie können das detail der besten Filme auf unserer website sehen. willkommen, um Filme am besten 2020 in Abwesenheit von Betrug zu sehen. Danke!! Dune: After We Collided is an upcoming American romantic drama film directed by Roger Kumble and starring Josephine Langford and Hero Fiennes-Tiffin. It is based on the 2014 new adult fiction novel of the same name by Anna Todd and is the sequel to the 2019 film After. It is scheduled to be released on October 2, 2020. Handlung: Tessa finds herself struggling with her complicated relationship with Hardin; she faces a dilemma that could change their lives forever. Werfen: Josephine Langford as Tessa Young Hero Fiennes-Tiffin as Hardin Scott John Jackson Hunter as young Hardin Louise Lombard as Trish Daniels Dylan Sprouse as Trevor Matthews Candice King as Kimberly Charlie Weber as Christian Vance Max Ragone as Smith Vance Selma Blair as Carol Young Shane Paul McGhie as Landon Gibson Rob Estes as Ken Scott Karimah Westbrook as Karen Scott Samuel Larsen as Zed Evans Khadijha Red Thunder as Steph Jones Pia Mia as Tristan Inanna Sarkis as Molly Samuels Dylan Arnold as Noah Porter After We Collided: Directed by Roger Kumble Produced by Anna Todd Jennifer Gibgot Mark Canton Courtney Solomon Adam Shankman Screenplay by Anna Todd Mario Celaya Based on After We Collided by Anna Todd Starring Josephine Langford Hero Fiennes-Tiffin Dylan Sprouse Shane Paul McGhie Candice King Khadijha Red Thunder Inanna Sarkis Samuel Larsen Selma Blair Music by Justin Burnett Cinematography Larry Reibman Edited by Anita Brandt-Burgoyne Production companies CalMaple Media Offspring Entertainment Voltage Pictures Wattpad Distributed by Frayed Pages Release date October 2, 2020 (United States) Country United States Language English Ganzer Werner Beinhart/ Dune (2020) Kostenlos Deutsch film HD Ganzer Film Werner Beinhart 2020 HD stream deutsch ONLINE (ansehen Ganzer HD) Dune stream deutsch Dune stream deutsch amazon Dune stream deutsch netflix der  Dune 2020 stream deutsch Dune ganzer film deutsch Dune ganzer film deutsch kostenlos Dune trailer deutsch ganzer film Dune ganzer film deutsch stream Dune ganzer film Dune der ganze film auf deutsch Dune ganzer film deutsch Dune film Dune filmstart Dune ganzer film deutsch kostenlos Dune trailer deutsch ganzer film Dune ganzer film deutsch stream Dune der film Dune film online lektor pl Dune ganzer film

[pparn]

2022 Pro Bowl: Four things to watch for as AFC, NFC stars clash in Las Vegas

The Pro Bowl is back. The showcase of stars returns after a one-year hiatus because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Sunday's iteration, for the very first time, will be played in Las Vegas at the newly built Allegiant Stadium. After completing the longest regular-season in NFL history, the participants selected from the AFC and NFC were as deserving as ever.

Here are four things to watch for in the 2022 Pro Bowl:

No kickoffs! The NFL has used the Pro Bowl in recent years as an opportunity to experiment. The innovation continues in 2022. There will be no kickoffs Sunday, with the winner of the opening coin toss instead have the option of spotting the ball anywhere on the field while designating direction, or choosing whether to start on offense or defense from the designated spot. The loser of the toss will have first choice between the two privileges to begin the second half. It’s called the Spot and Choose” method and was brought forth to the Competition Committee last year by the Baltimore Ravens. With player safety always a priority, this rule could eventually be implemented for all NFL games. What will Deebo do? The 49ers star transformed into a supernova this season, scorching opposing defenses with his hands, legs and even his arm. Deebo Samuel became the first player in NFL history to top 1,400 receiving yards and 300 rushing yards in the same year. He was just as potent in the postseason, topping 100 all-purpose yards in all three games. But the beauty of Samuel isn’t in the numbers. It’s the madness of his methods. He lines up everywhere, darts past, around and through defenders like a student driver and traffic cones, and is a threat to take every touch to the house. It all makes him the ideal participant in an all-star setting. The case can be made that Samuel is the top skill player in football. Diggs vs. Diggs: This is the first pro meeting between the star siblings. Beyond their blood relation, their respective games set the stage for highlights galore, assuming they square off on some snaps. Trevon Diggs is known for taking gambles, which would be a particularly risky proposition versus the technically-sound Stefon Diggs. The Bills wideout had a career year in 2020, just as his younger brother broke in as a rookie corner for the Cowboys. This year belonged to Trevon, whose 11 interceptions were the most in a season in 40 years. That’s more than the career-high 10 touchdowns Stefon caught in 2021. Any passes thrown their way are often caught. The question Sunday will be which Diggs will come down with them. New blood at QB: Kyler Murray looked like the MVP through seven weeks. Justin Herbert looked like a future MVP for the second straight year. Neither ended the 2021 season how they wanted, but their respective futures couldn’t be brighter. Perhaps they’ll take out some of their playoff angst on the Pro Bowl. The presumptive starting QBs possess immense physical talents, share a flair for downfield dimes, and frustrate defenses sometimes with their legs more than their arms. And they’re both under 25. The league is in a great spot as it pertains to young QBs, and Herbert and Murray are two of the best examples. คาสิโน

[w1ldthoughts]

(Not so) Happy Birthday Part II

A/n: thank you all so much for your patience I hope this was worth the wait!

Part I

“Are you serious?” You heard a groaning voice behind you, belonging to your friend Jade who you’d been staying with. “How many times are you going to watch A Star Is Born? It’s getting concerning.”

You let out a small laugh, digging into what was your second popcorn bowl of the day. “I’m going to keep watching it until they live happily ever after. Or until I feel less bad about where my life is headed.” She sits down next to you and lets you rest your head on her shoulder while you desperately try not to cry for the second time today. The first week after the breakup you allowed yourself several meltdowns a day, the next week just one and this week you were really trying to keep it together as much as humanly possible. Needless to say, with your movie selections and inability to turn the camera or microphone on during your work meetings on Zoom in case you did get overwhelmed, things weren’t looking good.

“Do you think I made a mistake? Maybe I shouldn’t have pulled the trigger so fast and heard him out?”

Jade’s sigh gave you the answer you weren’t wanting to hear, but told you everything you needed to know. “Look, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life. But I am going to tell you that you are going to have to go over there and grab your stuff. You can’t just live in my clothes for the rest of your life. This depressive state cannot last forever.”

“Fine,” you sigh. “I’ll text him now and make sure I’m only there when he’s at the facility.”

The next morning you found yourself in a very familiar place. Everything was spotless like no one even lived there. But the place was full of some of your most fond memories. The spot in front of the fridge where you kissed Justin for the first time. The couch where you spent many nights watching movies or looking for missing cards from a Settlers of Catan game that had Justin flipping the board over when Patrick beat him. So much time spent in the bedroom you were standing in now, where all of your things remained exactly where you’d left them.

“I’m sorry I didn’t pack your stuff. I really wanted to—make it easier for you but, that just made it more real that you were really gone.”

Of course he came home just for this.

The sound of his voice should have startled you but it brought you peace instead, it was a sad form of validation to see and hear that he was also struggling. “Is that why you haven’t slept in your bed?” You ask, finally feeling brave enough to turn and face him. He looked good, tired but good.

He lets out a dry chuckle. “You really don’t miss a thing do you? I’ve been sleeping in the guest room near the office. Didn’t feel right being here alone. But I understand why you left. And I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am y/n.”

“Well… are you sorry enough to help me pack up all of this stuff?” Under the guise of your humor, he could tell this was the very last thing you wanted to do so he just nodded and got to work.

The next few hours were spent packing and loading things into your car, every box held a piece of him in it. He held the last one in his hands and stopped you as you grabbed your keys.

“I want to be the man you deserve. And I promise I’m working on it.”

You motion for him to put the box on the floor and he does so immediately, gladly welcoming your body into his arms. This is where you wanted to be for all of eternity, without worrying about the real world and ignoring your intuition and just letting your heart cloud what your brain has been yelling at you since you walked away from him. You pulled away from the hug and looked up at him, running your fingers through his hair and watching him melt into your touch. This is your home, this is the man you love. So why in the world would you walk away from it? Letting out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, the distance between you two became nonexistent and all you could think about was giving into this moment and letting it all go. You closed your eyes and felt him inch closer and closer to your face.

And then you remembered everything that went wrong.

“Justin, I’m so sorry. I can’t.” You pulled away from him. “I need you to show me you’re trying. The best apology is changed behavior. As embarrassing as it is to admit, part of me will always belong to you and I need you to either match my energy or I need to move on because I can’t keep living like this. I’m not going to.” You picked up the box yourself and walked as fast as you could back to your car and drove away without a second glance. If this was going to work, he was going to have to earn you back.

“Should I throw her a makeup birthday party?”

Keenan and Derwin both look at each other and shake their heads. “Her birthday was like a month ago bro, a little cake and some flowers isn’t gonna do shit for you now.”

“How am I going to show her how much I care about her?”

Derwin places a hand on his shoulder, “you gotta dig deep, Herbo. Think about what the fight was about and deal with the problem head on. And be honest with her…and yourself.”

“Aye…that was deep man. I didn’t know you had all that in the drafts.” The wide receiver nods at his teammate. “But forreal Herb, do what you gotta do to get your lady back man. You got a good one, make sure she knows that.”

“No you’re right. We gotta beat Denver first and then I can figure out what to do after that. Thank you guys.”

Keenan stands up to dap him up before they head to practice. “You know we got you brother.”

He had to admit the protection had been pretty shaky all game. The quarterback felt rushed and had little to no time in the pocket before getting hit and the receivers had been struggling heavily with drops the last few weeks. The offense had just not been rolling in the way he hoped and their playoff window was closing quickly. On 2nd and 7 he threw a zip pass to Donald Parham over the middle for a first down, bracing himself for impact as Zach Allen, the Broncos’ 285 pound defensive end, came running at him. Their bodies got tangled up on the way down and somewhere in the fold his index finger got stuck as the rest of his body continued its descent to the turf. Something was off and he knew it but continued to play until the drive was over. The trainers looked him over on the sidelines and decided it would be best to take him back into the locker room for an x-ray.

Meanwhile, you had it been able to resist turning on the game, having watched everything unfold. But this time all you could do was sit in anticipation instead of going straight to the tunnel and speak with the staff. You’d been here before. You've seen this. He’d broken another finger just weeks earlier against Las Vegas but they’d just thrown a shit ton of tape on it and he went right back in. But this was his throwing hand, his money maker and admittedly, it had you worried. You opted to send him a quick text letting him know you hoped everything was okay, even if your gut was telling you it wasn’t.

Justin slammed his helmet down looking at the x-ray results and threw a hoodie on to head back out onto the field and cheer on his guys. The physical pain in his finger paled in comparison to how he was feeling mentally. He’s let down his teammates, his guys. The coaches. The fans. All these people that were counting on him were going to be disappointed. With four weeks left in the season he knew it was a long shot to try and play again. But that wasn’t going to stop him from doing everything in his power to try to be ready until the doctors gave him the official word that he couldn’t. After the game was over and he headed to the locker room to change, he shot you a text back that he was fine and headed to his post game presser.

You know that feeling when you don’t even remember going to sleep until you open your eyes and question your entire existence? Yeah that’s what was happening to you now. The knock on the door startled you out of a sleep you didn’t even mean to take and you sleepily stood up from your seat on Jade’s couch and opened the door.

The man on the other side of it had you thinking you might still be asleep. But there he really was, hand heavily taped and in a splint. At least his hair was finally dry. “I’m so sorry for coming by so late, is Jade asleep? Were you?”

“She’s out with some guy tonight and you’re fine. What are you doing here, what’s going on?”

You step aside to let him in and close the door behind him. “I lied to you earlier. And then I realized that I was making the same mistakes that got us in this mess so I got an Uber and wanted to finally be honest. With you.”

“Justin what are you—what do you mean?”

“I’m not fine,” he states with a shaky sigh. “I signed this big contract in the offseason and was on top of the world. This is my team, you know? I’m the guy. They trusted me with all this money and I don’t even know if I deserve it anymore. I let them down and now I’m not even sure I’ll get to play with these guys again this year. And I don’t even know why my first instinct is always to tell you that I’m okay. Maybe I’m trying to spare your feelings and not burden you with this ‘whoa is me’ attitude but I do want to tell you everything. I—I trust you with my life, I just haven’t been acting like it. You’re the only one I want to tell everything to and I haven’t been treating you like my partner and I’m sorry for letting it get this bad.”

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat before speaking. “Justin I need to tell you something and I need you to listen to everything I’m about to say.” He nods and waits for you to continue. “You. Deserve. Everything. Okay? I mean god this team is probably winless without you. You’ve willed them to be competitive ALL year and somehow along the way you’ve been convinced that this is your fault. It’s not you. You are NOT the problem. If anything babe, you’re the fucking standard. You set records, you are who everyone compares their quarterback to and you know why? Because you have rallied those guys and they believe in you. Your organization believes in you. I believe in you.”

“Thank you for saying that,” he whispers, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay. “And I know I can’t erase the past or what I did but you’re everything I could ever want. Much more than I’ve ever asked for. And I fucked up the best thing I had. There isn’t a moment that I don’t think about it. Maybe…we could start over? Not forget any of the mistakes that were made along the way but learn from them. Clean slate, so I can earn your trust back.”

He waits for you to respond, the silence quickly killing his confidence. Maybe he really had lost you for good. You look down at the floor in sadness, still unsure about if this one conversation was enough to change the course of your relationship. Justin doesn’t wait any longer, kissing you on the forehead and walking out the front door. The quarterback sat in the Uber with a heavy sigh, trying to come to terms with the chaos of his professional and personal life. A few hours later when he couldn’t sleep in anticipation of his doctor’s appointment in a few hours, there was a knock at the door.

“I’m so sorry to bother you this late but I just couldn’t shake this feeling that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Oh I’m sorry I didn’t even introduce myself, I’m y/n.”

Justin’s smile takes over his face, dimple in full display. “It’s nice to meet you y/n, I’m Justin.”

Maybe, just maybe…what started with the worst birthday of your life could be a really funny story to tell your grandkids someday.

[w1ldthoughts]

System Reboot

A/n: Anon requested second piece of sad girl winter!!!

Disclaimer: this is a work of FICTION, the characters are fictionalized versions of real life situations and real people. It’s all based on my imagination.

Love was supposed to be patient. Love should have been kind. But lately love was…hard. It made you question your sanity and your self worth. Love wasn’t supposed to exhaust you or desert you. And that’s exactly what love was doing. It’s exactly what Justin was doing.

When you met him he was a rookie and your college friend Gabe’s super tidy and quiet roommate who loved all things Oregon and couldn’t resist a good movie quote. You stayed in touch with him even after Gabe was released by the Chargers and eventually dated him for a few years before getting married. The first few years of marriage were everything they say it is in the movies. You got to spend every single day with your best friend and the love of your life all wrapped into one. There were football games to attend, bruises and injuries along the way that were no match for the love you two shared and eventually you had a child, a perfect little girl named Remi. Your family was your entire world. And maybe somewhere along the way all of your jobs as a wife and a mom clouded your vision as to who you were as an individual.

It’s not like anyone noticed, let alone your husband. He had things to focus on too; games needed to be won, he had his team, the media and Remi of course. Justin was busy but never busy enough to skimp out on his duties as a father. He cherished every moment with her and it was embarrassing to admit that you envied how much effort he put into his relationship with Remi while his relationship with you had become relatively nonexistent. You weren’t jealous of your daughter by any means, you were just struggling to understand how the same person who would go out of his way to bring you your favorite coffee before leaving for practice had barely kissed you goodnight the last few weeks. What changed?

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the garage door opening and Remi running to the back door to wait for her dad.

“Is that my girl?” He immediately picks her up as soon as he comes in and it actually gives you goosebumps watching them interact. Your husband listens intently as the three year old describes her day in vivid detail. “Hi.” Justin says, finally looking at you when Remi leaves him to head back to her playroom.

“Hi. How was practice?”

He shrugs, moving into the kitchen to sit across from you. “It was fine, nothing new. I was actually going to talk to you about—”

“Daddy? It’s your turn tonight for bath time. Come on, let’s go.” Remi holds onto his leg, tugging on his shorts until he stands up.

“It is my turn isn’t it? Okay let’s go get your stuff.” He tells her, grabbing her tiny hand. Justin looks back over at you and whispers, “we’ll talk later.”

You nod and start putting away the dishes and making sure Remi cleaned up all of her toys like you asked. The giggles and talking you hear going on upstairs make you re-evaluate everything you’ve thought about today. Some people have it way worse than you, why in the world would you be complaining when you live in this beautiful house, with this beautifully sweet husband and an angel for a daughter? Instead of continuing to spiral, you headed upstairs to listen to your husband read your daughter a bedtime story and even joined in as the two of them sang the bedtime song, “Hey Jude.” You both kissed Remi goodnight and headed back downstairs.

“What did you want to talk about?” You asked immediately.

“I can’t be the only one that feels like there’s a disconnect between us, right? I mean don’t you think something just feels…off?”

You sigh, feeling a lump growing in your throat. “I don’t know what to do, but I know I want to fix it.”

“Me too.” He reassures you. “Come here.” You slowly make your way into his arms, holding in the tears that are really threatening to appear. And he can tell. “What if we go out to dinner tomorrow night? Just you and me.”

There’s no way you can muster up words so you just nod, letting out a sigh of relief at this potential marriage saving date.

He was late. Not late enough for you to cancel the night altogether but it was annoying. You had to resist the urge to roll your eyes when he walked in apologizing profusely. Now was not the time to make a scene. Dinner was…awkward to say the least. It was like trying to make small talk with an acquaintance from high school that you ran into at the grocery store. Your husband was becoming a stranger and maybe instead of fighting to hold on to something that was dying, you should just pull the plug. You thanked him for dinner and he walked in front of you on the way out of the restaurant. A hand that used to rest in yours or on the small of your back just remained at his side, crushing your spirit even more. The drive home was quiet and you headed straight to your room while your husband relieved the babysitter.

You looked in the mirror at yourself and couldn’t even recognize your own reflection. Staring back at you was a shell of your former self, someone who you vowed never to become and you cried silently the entire time you got ready for bed. All of your energy was focused on not making noise and you didn’t hear Justin come into the bathroom.

“Babe? What’s wrong? What happened?” He frantically asks, kneeling down in front of you as you sat on the edge of the tub.

“Justin, leave me alone please.” It came out a little harsher than you’d intended but maybe deep down you meant it exactly how it came out.

Either way, he was shocked. “I’m not leaving you like this y/n, tell me what’s going on.”

“Fine. If you won’t leave, then I will.” You ran a hand across your face and stood up to head back downstairs, the man trailing cross behind you. It wasn’t fair how long his stride was compared to yours. “Please stop following me. I just really need a minute to myself.”

“Why? You’re clearly upset and I want you to talk to me. I’m your partner, maybe we can figure it out together.” He’s almost begging, holding his hand out to you. Maybe a week ago you would’ve gladly taken his hand and fallen apart in his arms but there just wasn’t anything left for you to give. “Is it because I was late? Because I apologized and I thought we were good but—”

“No! It’s not because you were late.” You’ve never raised your voice at him but you clearly aren’t yourself anymore. “It’s…everything. It’s the fact that I can’t remember the last time we laughed about something that wasn’t related to football or kid stuff. Or that I don’t even know how long it’s been since we had sex. When was the last time you touched me or held me or I don’t know acted like I am the person you want to be with when you’re old and the most exciting thing in the world is sitting in a recliner reminiscing on the good days. These are supposed to be the good days and they’re not Justin. I am miserable and you can’t tell me you’re the happiest you’ve ever been either.”

He sits on the couch with a sigh, running a hand over his face. “I’m not happy. I mean we used to spend all day together, talking and laughing about random stuff and we just spent the last three hours together and couldn’t come up with anything to say.”

“So what do we do?” You ask hesitantly, already guessing where this is going.

“I don’t have any long term solutions but I do know we can’t keep going like this. I’ll sleep in one of the guest rooms tonight. We’ll have to figure out something more functional when the season ends.”

Watching him walk away from you felt real and final…but maybe this was for the best.

The week after the season ends Justin grabs some of his stuff and moves into the guesthouse. Two weeks after that you found yourself in a small coffee shop, googling “divorce lawyers in Los Angeles,” hitting a new emotional low. Nights were the worst. Times that you used to look forward to were just a reminder of everything you were losing. Remi wanted to watch her favorite movie, Elementals but even the sight of romance, even in cartoon form, had you holding back tears. You and your husband had been spending as much time with her as possible, trying to figure out the best way to explain to your child that your marriage was over.

“I mean what does that even do to a child that young? How do we even start? She’s already asking why we don’t do the bedtime song together anymore—”

This entire time since the separation has been hard on him too, even if he wasn’t physically that far away...yet. He’s got this headache that won’t go away and the thought of telling his baby girl something that will cause her pain makes his stomach hurt. So he tries to hide the pain with humor. “We shouldn’t have created a little genius. She’s probably already figured out something is up.”

You could see the pain in his face and hear it in his voice, but it wasn’t your job to nurse his wounds anymore…no matter how much you wanted to. It was decided that Justin would take her to the zoo next week and butter her up, and when they got home you would try your best to explain everything to her and move forward from there. That way you had time to read up on how to deliver difficult news to a toddler. Easy enough.

The week came a lot faster than you could prepare yourself for. On the morning of zoo day, the pain that radiates through your body is double the emotional pain you’ve been experiencing. All of your muscles ache, your sinuses are on fire and you really don’t know how you managed to get your daughter ready while Justin got her snacks, water and stroller in the car.

He took one look at you and knew something was wrong. “You alright?” There was an intense amount of concern in his tone and you nodded slowly, waving them goodbye and counting down the seconds until you could get back into bed and sleep off whatever this was.

In the car, Justin was interrogating his favorite spy. “Mini, are you excited for zoo day?”

“Yeah! I love the zoo. And animals. And you. But mama’s sick so she can’t come.” She says sadly.

“Mama’s sick? How do you know that?”

“Um,” she pauses, trying to put her words together. “She was coughing and blowing her nose, it sounded like an elephant.” He had to hold in a laugh. “And I hear her crying sometimes, maybe she has a really bad owie and you should kiss it better.”

The last part hurt, the thought of you all on your own dealing with all of these emotions and he wasn’t there to be your shoulder to lean on? It made him feel awful. “Maybe I should.” He turns around to face her and make a deal. “Would you be sad if we did zoo day another day? Mama really needs us to take care of her and I know Dr. Herbert is exactly what she needs to feel better.”

Remi had been obsessed with playing doctor lately and he knew she’d be all for it. She nodded excitedly as he drove to the store to pick up everything they would need. They came back into the house 30 minutes later with all of the essentials in hand and extra popsicles for his mini.

You woke up to a hand on your forehead…and then a tiny one. It would’ve been hilarious if you weren’t hot and cold at the same time.

“Her forehead is warm. She needs meic—the yucky stuff.” Remi whispers, holding the miniature stethoscope in her hands. Her dad nods at her and pulls out the medicine from the bag and hands her a bottle of Gatorade to set on the table. The doctor duo heads back downstairs to let you nap.

Two hours later, you woke up feeling refreshed and a lot less…gross. You gingerly walked down the stairs to find the cutest sous chef in the world hard at work.

“Hi mama, we’re making soup for you.” Remi sings, stirring the pot with Justin standing right behind her.

“Thank you baby, it smells amazing.” You give Justin a wink, whispering another “thank you.”

The three of you sit on the couch while you eat, taking in Remi’s movie for the eighth time this week. When you wake up from your third nap of the day, you are surrounded by your favorite people who are fast asleep next to you. At some point Justin must have gone upstairs to grab your favorite blanket because you know you weren’t covered in it when the movie started. These were the moments that you’d overlooked. Life was different now, you and Justin weren’t the 20-somethings that met and fell in love and it was a mistake trying to get back to that. This was your reality now and it could still be full of joy if you allowed it. That night, you asked Justin to stay for the bedtime song and asked to speak to him in the kitchen.

“I know we were supposed to tell Remi about everything today but—”

“Y/n, I don’t want a divorce.” He finishes for you. “This—you, me and mini, this is what I want. And honestly I don’t think we’ve tried hard enough to fight for each other so this is me, fighting for us.”

You reach out for his hand this time, which he happily grabs hold on to. “I don’t want to do this life with anyone else,” you whisper with your eyes watering. “You’re it for me and um…I want to fight for us too. Whatever it takes.”

“Maybe we could try counseling?” He suggests and you nod, vowing to help him look for someone you both liked in the morning. Your marriage wasn’t fixed in a day, but this was a huge step in the right direction.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” You give his hand a squeeze and he smiles, squeezing it back.

“In sickness and in health remember?”

Even in moments of darkness, love is patient, love is kind. And if it’s meant for you? Love will always find its way home.

[hornyforherbert]

All The Time (Justin Herbert) ✧

CW: Angst, Fluff (Kind Of)

WC: 1038

Song: Back To December - Taylor Swift

The soft hum of the air conditioning filled the living room as I nervously fidgeted with the hem of my sweater. She stole a glance at the clock on the wall, each passing second feeling like an eternity. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart. It had been three years since I had last seen Justin, but the memories of our time together still lingered in the corners of my mind.

Abruptly, a knock echoed through the room, causing me to jump. I quickly stood up, my hands trembling slightly as I made her way to the door. As I opened it, I was greeted by the sight of Justin standing on my doorstep. His hair was neatly styled, and there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

"Hi, y/n," Justin said softly, offering a hesitant smile.

"Justin," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. I was at a loss for words, my emotions swirling inside her like a tumultuous storm.

"I'm so glad you made time to see me," Justin continued, his gaze never leaving mine.

"Come in," I said, stepping aside to let him through. As he entered the familiar surroundings of my apartment, memories came flooding back to the both of us.

We sat down on the couch, the air heavy with unspoken words. Finally, I broke the silence. "How's life? Tell me, how's your family?” I asked, trying to keep my tone casual.

Justin let out a small sigh, running a hand through his hair. "They've been good. Just keeping busy," he replied, his eyes drifting to the floor.

The small talk continued, but there was an unspoken tension between them, like a rubber band ready to snap at any moment.

"You've been good, busier than ever," I remarked, my voice tinged with a hint of melancholy.

"Yeah, football has been keeping me busy" Justin replied, albeit distractedly. His mind was clearly elsewhere, wrestling with the words he wanted to say.

The conversation veered towards the weather, a safe topic neither of us needed to tiptoe around. But as the minutes ticked by, the elephant in the room became increasingly more difficult to ignore.

"The last time I saw you, is still burned in the back of my mind," Justin suddenly blurted out, his eyes locking with mine.

A heavy silence hung in the air, punctuated only by the sound of our breathing. Finally, I decided to speak. "I haven't forgotten either," I confessed, my voice shaking with raw emotion. a pained expression crossing his features. "I'm sorry, y/n. I messed up."

Tears welled up in my eyes as memories of the past flooded back. "This is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night," Justin continued, his voice filled with remorse.

The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, mingling with the raw emotions swirling between them. "I'd go back to December all the time," Justin whispered, his voice choked with regret.

Amid the sea of emotions crashing over us, I found myself fighting back tears. "It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you," I said softly, my heart laid bare for him.

"Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine," Justin confessed, his vulnerability laid bare for the first time in years. The walls he had carefully built around his heart began to crumble.

"I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right," Justin murmured, his voice trembling with longing.

As the night unfolded, the weight of unspoken apologies and regrets began to lift from our shoulders, and a glimmer of hope emerged.

"I'm sorry for that night, for everything." Justin said, his voice determined.

Our hearts lay open and vulnerable as we navigated the tumultuous sea of emotions, searching for a path forward.

"I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right," Justin said, his voice filled with sadness .

"And how you held me in your arms that September night." i said, my voice filled with longing. The memories of our time together weaved a bittersweet tapestry, each thread a testament to the love we had once shared.

"Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming," I murmured, my gaze locking with Justin's.

"If we loved again, I swear I'd love you right," Justin vowed, his voice brimming with sincerity. "I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't."

The passage of time had shaped them both, but beneath the scars of the past lay the possibility of a new beginning.

"So if the chain is on your door, I understand," Justin said, his expression pained yet accepting.

The night stretched on, filled with the echoes of our past and the tentative hope of our future.

As the first light of dawn painted the sky in hues of pink and gold, Justin and I found each other standing at the precipice of possibility.

"I wish I could turn back the clock and make things right," Justin confessed, his eyes filled with regret.

The echoes of our shared pain and longing merged in the stillness of the dawn, creating a canvas upon which they could begin anew.

"It's not too late," I said softly, a glimmer of hope in my eyes. "We can turn around and make it alright."

Justin's gaze met mine, and in that unspoken moment, we found the courage to rewrite our love story.

The weight of the past slowly began to lift, making way for our future. The dawn marked a new beginning, a chance to rebuild what had been fractured and lost.

With each whispered apology and shared regret, Justin and I found each other standing on the threshold of a new chapter.

"We're going to make things right," Justin said, his voice filled with newfound hope The sun rose in the sky, casting its warm glow over the world and illuminating the path forward.

As we gazed into each other's eyes, our past seemed to dissipate, replaced by the tentative promise of a love rekindled.

"I missed you," I whispered, my voice filled with crave.

“I missed you too.” Justin murmured back.

[lyrenminth]

Quiet love 2/?

For this chapter I highly recommend to listen Ariana's song - we can't be friends - to get in the mood

And yet, Justin wasn't the type to make a move. So, you were screwed up.

"I had a great night" you said, heading toward your room. "What are you plans tomorrow?"

"I'm gonna go golfing with the guys"

You nodded.

"Have fun"

"We can have dinner here" he added.

"Yeah, sounds good"

And the sudden thought caught off guard. Did his friends knew about you? Tate knew because it was obvious. But people here in LA knew?

"Justin, your friends know about me?" you asked, regretting it at the moment.

He frowned, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Your friends in L.A, not in Eugene"

"I don't think they care or why they should know?"

"Because it makes me feel unwelcome. The fact the you prefer to hide our friendship"

"That's not true" he argued "I don't want nosey people in my life, our friendship is something I treasure"

"And what's wrong with people knowing about me?"

"I want privacy in my life"

"I'm not going to spill anything"

"It's not about that!" he raised his voice, frustrated. You flinched and he ran his hand through his hair with exasperation. "The fanatics are crazy. And I don't want people stalking you, telling you insults and threatening you when things aren't pretty during the season"

You stayed in silence. You were arguing before bed again. How funny.

"I'm not talking about the fans, I'm talking about your teammates, people you know here in L.A"

He gulped, and crossed his arms against his wide chest.

"Mmm it's not common to present a friend" he said, suddenly shy "Only girlfriends and wives"

"Only...oh" you felt dumb, of course you wanted a space reserved for another person.

You let out a sigh. You were so stupid.

So, so stupid.

"Well, that's clarifying" you said, trying not to cry.

Really? Crying because your friend is your friend and gives you friend treatment? Then why...why he does those things that confuse your brain? Why he treats you so nice, invite you dinner and let you stay all the time you want? Made you feel wanted and loved?

You felt your eyes burn and blinked to keep the tears away.

"Are you ok?" he said, worried getting closer to you. You gave a step back, and he looked hurt.

"Yeah, it's...summer allergies I think"

"You don't have allergies"

"Mmm L.A weather is intense" you changed the topic. You looked at your room's door and bite your lip "I'm tired, see you tomorrow"

"Wait..." he call you but you were closing the door already.

Needless to say you couldn't sleep so much that night.

You couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if you tell him the truth. You dreamed about him a lot. You dreamed about his affections changing its course and realizing it has been you the whole time. You wanted to be his special person because he was yours. He was yours since childhood. He was yours since the gave you a Star Wars band-aid when you scraped your knee playing or when you searched for frogs during your walks in Oregon. He was yours during the Christmas exchange, and the family meetings. And what would you do with all your affection if he said no?

The thought made you cry harder.

You were bleeding your love at 3 am.

The next day, you avoided him like a plague. Yes, it was childish and immature but you couldn't look him in the eye without feeling a turmoil of emotions inside you, good and bad. If you dare to look at him you would started crying or threw him a shoe. You went straight to work, and since you seemed in distress you co-worker, Lydia asked you what's up.

You tell the story, his name was omitted in purpose. All the emotions, his behavior, your confusion, your friendship. At the end of your story, she wasn't happy.

"I'm sorry, but I think you should put your big girl pants and ask him" she said, sounding rational "it's not healthy for you staying in a situation like that. Pretty cool of him letting you stay, but if it's something bothering you, you should talk to him. The worse thing that can happened it's knowing you can't prolonged that situation anymore"

"How am I suppose to do that?"

"Hey, I think I catch feelings for you but we really haven't spoke about it so tell what do you feel so I can make decisions "

"I'm not brave like that " you regretted.

"You must, baby. You are dying in a "what if"

"But he is my friend, I don't want to lose him" it was true, you had so much story.

"It's better for you. You deserved to be loved by someone without limitations"

You were crying at that point, feeling pathetic.

"If he says no, where am I going to stay?"

"I have a friend who is looking for a roommate, the apartment it's closer to work, so you don't need a car" she said, compassionate about you.

"Can you send me the number?" you cried.

"Yeah"

When you arrived at the house he was in the kitchen which surprise you because you purposely took the longer route. He should be sleeping by now. WHY HE WASN'T SLEEPING?

You said the driest "hi" and went to your room. You felt his stare burning your skin. Your heart beating so fast you were scared of having a heart attack.

You changed your clothes for something more comfy, you grabbed a book and sat on your bed to start reading. You were two chapters in when Justin knocked your door.

"Come in"

He appeared, in grey pants and a blue shirt.

"If you are hungry there tacos and soup" he said "Keenan's wife made it"

"Thank you" you said, still reading your book. Words didn't make sense but it was better than look at him because it was painful. He leaned at the door.

"Can we talk?" he asked. You stomach twisted.

You feelings were to intense after the talk with Lydia, but what she said it was true. You were dying of uncertainty.

"About what?"

"About...us" he replied.

You gulped, and it was like passing a stone through your throat.

"Okay"

He moved again, somehow staying in the same position. He put his hands in his pockets then decided it was better to cross his arms. You waited patiently.

"Are you mad at me?" you sighed.

"No, Justin" your voice was soft but firm. Good.

"Yesterday you were mad" he stated, you didn't blink. "What did I do?"

"Nothing" you felt like someone was cutting through your chest to get your heart out. "I'm more annoyed with myself than with you"

"Why?"

Why it was so difficult to talk about it?

"I misinterpreted our situation" you voice trembled and you cursed at yourself for being so weak around this man.

His face was blank. The same face he puts when a journalist ask a stupid question.

"How so?"

Oh, dear. If you could only talk without fucking crying. It was happening, wasn't it? Revealing your feelings and potentially losing a friend.

You were so scared.

You deserve a love without limitations.

"Gosh, Justin. I came here, you lend me your car, you bought me pickles, you treat me like more than a friend and then you say you want me to stay..." saying it out loud made you feel worse. It was nothing, it was kindness. It was friendship, wasn't it? "I... I know we haven't seen each other in years so I thought...I thought that you may feel something for me as I feel for you"

His throat bubbled. His gaze was on the floor.

Of course, how could you forgot? He was a man.

"I don't know what to say" he started. "You know, my work, my life is very different from yours"

What the actual fuck? What was he trying to say? Was a Mr Darcy type of proposal?

"Justin tell me the truth, do you like me back? Yes or no?" You asked, getting angry. You didn't deserved such disrespect. If he didn't like you back, well you would deal the heartbreak but prolonging these feelings until the end of season and beyond was madness.

"I'm not sure" he replied, you almost didn't hear him.

But it was all you needed to know. You exhaled deeply, feeling all the emotions at once. Luckily your face remain blank, you grabbed the sheet with such force your knuckles turned white.

"I guess... that's ok" you looked at your watch only to see it wasn't night yet. "Well, I'm going to continue with my original plans" you opened your book again trying to play it cool not reading a damn word "If you need something send a message"

"What do you mean?"

You raised your eyebrows in confusion.

"By original plans?" he prompted.

"Moving out, I mean" you replied not glancing once. You were acting petty, but he just said he didn't like you back. Of course you were ashamed, angry and desesperately in love.

"Oh, alright" he looked around, not even giving you a glance.

His short answer was like a stab in your heart. Sometimes he was so cruel, but he had the right to feel what he was feeling too. You could not force him to like you and that was even worse. Your eyes were burning, tears blurring your vision.

"Good night" he had the audacity to say before leaving.

And when he closed the door, was like closing all the posibilities you had to be something for him. Throwing years of friendship only because you misread him.

And you felt so so stupid. Of course you were only his friend. How could you even think to be more than a friend? He was Justin Herbert, young, rich, athletic. He had all the options in the world, why he would settle for you?

You started crying, leaving all those emotions out.

Just another sleepless night.

[hornyforherbert]

Hi 👋 So excited to have found a talented writer with requests open! Can we get prompt #2 with Justin Herbert? Thank you 😘

A Rainy Night (Justin Herbert) ✧

Prompt 2. “My mom asked about you again.��

CW: Angst

WC: 494

The rain poured down relentlessly, mirroring the melancholy that consumed her heart. Her relationship with Justin had hit a breaking point, and now they found themselves on a much needed break.

Every droplet that soaked the streets mirrored the tears that stained their face. It felt like the sky itself wept for their shattered love. She sat alone in her dimly lit apartment, drowning in a sea of emotions. Her mind was plagued with doubts, uncertainties, and the weight of their broken connection.

The silence was suffocating, filling the space between them as they navigated this new territory. A message notification broke the silence, sending her heart racing. It was Justin. "My mom asked about you again..." Those five words pierced through the darkness, stirring a mixture of pain and longing within her heart.

Justin's words offered a glimpse into a world where their love still lingered, even amidst the turmoil. she couldn't help but wonder what it meant. Did it indicate a possibility of redemption or was it simply a reminder of their shared history?

Images of Justin's mother, Holly flooded her mind. she recalled the countless times Holly had embraced her, showing genuine affection and support. It was during those moments that they felt a part of something bigger, belonging to a family that accepted and cherished them. As the storm outside raged on, her thoughts swirled with questions.

Did Holly miss her? Did she understand the complexities that had fractured their relationship? The emotions that consumed her seemed unbearable. They were torn between desperately wanting to reach out and fearing further heartbreak.

Time stood still as she gathered the courage to respond. The words formed hesitantly, each keystroke carrying the weight of their emotions.

"What did she say?"

The anticipation was oppressive, each second feeling like an eternity. stared at the screen, trembling, hoping for a response that would bring clarity and resolution. Their connection, once so strong, now hung in the balance, teetering between renewal and finality.

Minutes turned into hours, and still, no reply came. The uncertainty gnawed at her soul, leaving her vulnerable to their own thoughts. The rain outside continued its relentless downpour, echoing the turmoil that mirrored their heart. Finally, a message appeared, illuminating her phone and the darkness that consumed her cozy apartment.

"She said she misses you. That she hopes we find a way back to each other. Maybe we can talk soon?"

Relief washed over her, she now had a glimmer of hope. her heart swelled, realizing that amidst the pain and chaos, there was still a flicker of love left to salvage. The future was uncertain, but that connection with Holly stirred something deep within her, a reminder of the bond she once shared with Justin.

As the rain continued to pour outside, she clung to the possibility of reconnecting. In the depths of their anguished soul, they knew that despite the brokenness, love had a way of finding its way back home.

I hope you enjoyed reading, thank you to the anon who requested it! Have a great rest of your day :)

You do NOT have permission to repost (reblogs are fine) or copy my work.

A/N: I was a little nervous about posting this because i didn’t like it that much, but if you guys like it, that’s what matters. Also to the anon who requested this im sorry it took a week to get it out, hope everybody enjoyed it! (to the anon who requested this, thank you for the kind words in your ask!)

[boltupbitches]

We Can't Be Friends - Justin Herbert (angst)

Her hands shook as she grasped the box tightly in her hands. Inside it were various belongings of her now ex-boyfriend. It was surreal as she carefully folded away the dark green Nike sweatshirt he left at her apartment. The other items included a Nike ballcap she borrowed from him, a spare phone charger, a book he forgot to finish reading that always sat on his side of the bed in her bedroom, and a jewelry box with the diamond necklace he bought her recently.

The last one she knew he’d protest accepting… yet it seemed fitting to give it back to him. Unlike the other pieces of jewelry she owned, this was the first expensive gift he ever got her. She didn’t want to wear it and be reminded of her heartache. 

She looked around her apartment, her heart aching at the odd spots where photos of them once were, now bare or replaced with something else like a decorative vase or photo of something else. The throw blanket he had made with her cat on it was also folded and put away in the closet, out of sight and out of mind. The apartment felt strangely empty, the absence of his presence palpable, and she couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness at the changes.

Her apartment looked oddly bare now with the various signs of him now missing from her daily life. Photos were gone, furniture re-arranged, and traces of him were in the box, ready to be returned to him, except along with it was her heart. The most precious thing she wished she could take back from him.

During her ponderings, she hadn’t realized there was a knock at the door. She frowned, realizing that it was likely Justin on the other side of the door. Part of her wondered why he didn’t use the key he had, but another part of her knew he probably didn’t feel comfortable doing so now that they were broken up.

Emma sat the box down on her coffee table and moved to the front door to let him in. As a precaution, she looked in the peephole first to make sure it was him.

He stood there awkwardly, shuffling from foot to foot as he waited to be let in.

Emma sighed and opened the door, preparing for the pangs her heart was about to experience all over again. The mere thought of him hurt, yet the sight of him felt like she was struck down by a bullet.

Justin smiled gently at her, his eyes were showing sadness and uncertainty as he stared into her eyes. In his hands was a box of her things. 

“Hey, come in…” Emma backed away from the door for him to enter, her one hand holding the doorknob tightly and the other tucked to her side. She felt so vulnerable in that moment, allowing him both physically and metaphorically to re-enter her space.

Justin shuffled through the doorway and stopped to slip his shoes off before continuing into her apartment. He gently sat the box of her stuff on the coffee table before he took a moment to stare around the room, his eyes catching the sight of missing photos of the pair that once decorated the walls and shelves of her living room.

It was odd. Emma was sure that’s what he was thinking as she quietly watched him gaze at the corner bookshelf that once had a photo of two of them after a fishing trip - her first ever fishing trip at sea. They were posing together with her catch, her face beaming with pride and his eyes on her, so much adoration in his smile and his eyes. She loved that picture… but now it sat in a box underneath her bed with all the other photos of them together.

“I… um… I think I got everything that was yours.” Justin rubbed his neck nervously as he finally stared in her direction, “If I find anything else I’ll send a text.” He offered with a strained smile.

Emma could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn’t want to do this - the awkward silence as two people who spent the last two years always together could not find the words to say what they wanted to say. She opened her mouth to thank him but the words would not come out. She just stood there with her lips parted as she searched Justin’s eyes for something, anything.

“You said you had my stuff?” Justin asked. “I-I mean no rush! I just remember you saying that in your text.”

“Y-yeah. It’s right here.” She lifted the box and handed it over to him, watching as he glanced into the box, his face pulling into a frown at the stuff that filled the box.

Justin reached in for the box that held the necklace he had gifted her. “Emma… this is yours. You don’t have to give it back to me.” He looked at her sadly. 

Emma looked down at her sock-clad feet before looking back at him with a frown. “Justin… we broke up. I… I don’t think I could ever wear that again without thinking about you.”

He nodded as he thumbed the small box, “Still, you could pawn it or something. I can’t accept a gift back, Emma. That’s not right.”

“You could regift it.” She said stubbornly, “I don’t want it, Justin.”

“Who am I going to regift this to when it’s meant for the woman I love? I mean, that’s an odd thing to consider, Emma.” He was starting to get frustrated. “It’s just a necklace, why can’t you keep it?” He pushed.

“Because I don’t want to feel this way forever and that necklace hurts to look at!” Her voice raised slightly, “because it reminds me - never mind.” She stopped herself. “Never mind.”

“Reminds you of what?” Justin pressed. 

“It reminds me of all the false promises you made to me.” She admitted, her voice cracking with the emotions bubbling up. Look, I don’t want to argue. Just please take the stuff.”

Justin stared at her blankly as he was processing what she said. “Emma, I… I never meant to hurt you.”

“But you did,” She bit back a sob. “You did and it still hurts so badly. You ignored me and iced me out when all I tried to do was support you. You took two years of happiness and flipped it on its head. You treated me like a stranger and slowly but surely, the circle of friends I built with you… I felt like an imposter, a stranger. I’m a fool because I realized that you didn’t understand me. How could you ever even try when I was no longer not even in your top 10 priorities.” She started to cry more. “I had to tiptoe and hide this monstrous lie about my life to my family and friends so that you could have peace from the media. I gave so much to you but you never considered giving that much in return. The jewelry? The trips and restaurants? I didn’t care about those things. I only ever wanted you, Justin.”

He stood in shock as she unloaded on him, the floodgates spilling over as her emotions hit him like a tsunami wave. He could barely stand straight as he felt his own heartache at the pain he caused her.

“I just wanted you and that’s why, that’s why this is over. That’s why we can’t be friends. I'd like to just pretend… But I can’t wait for you to like me again. I can’t wait for your love anymore. I’m tired and I’m hurt.”

He said nothing as he gulped and looked down.

Emma breathed heavily and fanned her face in an attempt to cool down.

“I know right now there’s nothing I can say or do at this moment to fix this, Emma.” He looked up with earnest eyes, “But for what it is worth, I am so sorry for taking you for granted these last few months. I’m sorry I made you feel trapped and isolated at times. I’m sorry I shut down and focused only on football. I’m sorry I was a shit boyfriend to you when I should have done better. I’m so sorry.” He blinked back his tears.

Emma closed her eyes in pain and nodded at his apology. “I appreciate that, Justin, but I think it’s time for us to cut this off now. We are both hurt and I need time for me… away from you.”

Justin nodded in agreement, although a huge part of him didn’t want that. That part of him yelled in his head ‘fight for this! Fight for her!’ Yet, he knew at that moment that Emma didn’t want that. She wanted out of this. She wanted away from him. He couldn’t force her to stay with him. He wasn’t the type. It hurt, be he’d let her go if that’s what she wanted.

“I’ll head out then.” He gestured to the door as he slipped his sandals back on. He turned to see Emma opening the door for him, her eyes saddened at the sight of her now ex-boyfriend leaving her apartment and her life. It was what she wanted but still, it hurt so bad for it to end like this. 

She knew Justin wasn’t inherently a bad man. It just became a situation of when times got tough for them, he didn’t do his part in keeping the relationship alive or trying to reciprocate Emma’s love and affection. The months that went on were tortuous, as were the arguments that came with them. An angry Justin was a rarity, but the rare times he did appear, the anger doused quickly, followed by avoidance. Emma couldn’t deal with it anymore. She knew she also had to work on herself and her own problems before trying to make Justin address his own. She needed to grow away from him.

“I’ll wait for your love, always, Emma.” He promised softly as he turned and walked away from her, hoping it wasn’t the last time he’d see her. He still loved her.

Emma closed the door quietly and slid to the floor against it. It was over and it hurt like hell.

It was what she wanted and needed, but it didn’t feel right. She wasn’t sure how she’d navigate just as herself, but she knew she had to.

It's something like a daydream But I feel so seen in the night So for now, it's only me And maybe that's all I need

[boltupbitches]

Writing Schedule - UPDATED 7/1/23

7/1/23

Green Isn't Your Color - Jealous!Joe Burrow (fluff) one shot Completed

Kiss It Better - Jimmy Garoppolo (fluff) one shot

7/2/23

One Kiss - Nick Bosa (older woman love interest - smut) one shot

Only You - Joe Burrow (Bengali female love interest - fluff) one shot

7/3/23

Keeping Secrets - Justin Herbert (angst -> happy ending) one shot

Rest and Relaxation - Tee Higgins (fluff) one shot

At this time, I am not taking anymore requests for a while. I'll announce again sometime in a month or so when I do another summer writing week. Thx for those who participated! Schedule is above for the next few days!

[boltupbitches]

Prompts Received So Far:

Justin Herbert - surprising his girlfriend with his new haircut (fluff) -> Done

Justin Herbert - dating a girl with self-deprecating humor (fluff) -> Done

Sam Hubbard - surprised pregnancy announcement from gf (fluff)

-> Done

Joe Burrow - enemies to lover (angst -> happy ending)

Justin Herbert - dad Herb with some relationship struggles (angst -> happy ending)

Justin Herbert - moving homes/disagreements (angsty)

Justin Herbert - taking his city girl gf to the Eugene and experiencing the great outdoors (fluff)