#KICK HIS FUCKING ASSSSSS

[carlyraejepsans]

you gotta replay undertale. alternatively, you gotta watch a playthrough from time to time if you're in the fandom, and it's GOTTA be a livestream. the sense of scale just gets lost in recollection otherwise.

"sans is a hard boss" yeah no shit he is, he's sans. one thing is saying it. one thing is hearing a twitch streamer go "after beating undyne, i feel like i can deal with anything in this game", 5 hours into his run, 30 kills left in the CORE, and then you go check the time and there's 8 hours of gameplay left

[manmadejoyswithinmycomprehension]

Мr. Scarletella and male reader when-

I'm back! Club activities and tutoring have been KICKING MY ASSSSSS UGHHHHHH but I'm alive and (not) thriving! Short fic for today.

Mr. Scarletella x m!reader (NSFW: no penetration, descriptive bj)

It hadn't been that long since you broke Mr. Scarletella's "heart" and made him into your loyal pet. At first, you thought he had forgotten about the whole name ordeal and his weirdly obsessive, creepy and sometimes downright perverted behavior. One thing was clear, though: leaving the ghost apartments was a bad idea. You doubted you would have been able to take your brand new pet to the overworld with you, or entertain him enough to keep him inside your house permanently. Even so, in this place you could release some stress without consequences - earthquakes would ruin the layout anyways, so who cares?!

As a last resort, you decided to wander around the eerie space, with Mr. Scareletella tied to your wrist with a leash. Sometimes you had to walk long distances before discovering a safe haven without intruding into another spirit's home. The both of you found yourselves in a similar situation today. The tall man had stamina for days, but you kept some of your human characteristics, such as the perpetual state of tiredness you were born with. When you found a room which contained a chair, dirty bed, and a table, after what you believed was at least a day of wandering, you instantly collapsed on the bed, Mr. Scarletella following obediently, the collar around his neck tightening slightly. He leaned over you, staring straight into your soul as you tried to rest. He put a cold hand on your cheek, poking your skin.

"Give name?"

Fuck. Your eye twitched in annoyance as you sat up suddenly.

"Go away."

He didn't seem to understand what you wanted, as he repeated the word "name" over and over. As a last resort, you grabbed his umbrella and gripped it tightly. Mr. Scarletella fell at your feet, his thighs clenched together, hands covering what was obviously a bulge. But wasn't the umbrella supposed to be his... heart? Perhaps it was linked to the rest of his body as well? To test the waters, you rubbed the top of the umbrella gently, watching as Scarletella squirmed pathetically. After a particularly hard squeeze, he fell on his back, curled up into a fetal position as whines left his trembling lips. A pleased smile was plastered on your face as you got closer to him and unbuckled your belt. You gave your cock a few strokes to lubricate it.

"Get up," you order the ghost, enjoying seeing him scramble to you. Without needing any explanation, his fingers sank into your hips as he took your cock into his mouth, sucking enthusiastically. One of your hands held the umbrella as the other rubbed it, indirectly teasing Mr. Scarletella. Out of the blue, he hugged your leg, taking advantage of his position to grind his leaky bulge on your shoe like a dog in heat. You tug on the leash, shoving your cock deeper inside the tall man's throat. His moans sent pleasurable vibrations throughout your shaft, making you groan in response. Scarletella's eyes seemed to light up at your reaction, and he doubled his efforts in hopes to make his master feel good. His tongue was gliding along the underside of your cock, his hands having left his bulge long ago, now focused on rubbing the base of your length. His cheeks hollowed out, the soft tissue on the inside of his mouth pressing up against the sensitive sides of your dick.

Your eyebrows were furrowed, and you stroked the umbrella faster, making Mr. Scarletella shake, his fingers desperately holding onto your hips, digging into your flesh as he ground his bulge faster and faster against your shoe. His eyes rolled back into his head as he orgasmed, white, creamy liquid leaking through the red material of his pants. In an act of wild lust, you threw the umbrella to the ground and gripped his hair tightly, fucking his face without mercy. Hunched over the ghost, you held him in place as you pumped round after round of seed down his throat, until small trickles of it seeped out from his nose. You stayed like that for a few minutes, legs trembling. Tenderly, you stroked his cheeks and pulled him off of you, a streak of spit and cum connecting his lips to your spent cock. Seeing his blurry vision and quivering body awakened something inside of you that you didn't know you had. It became clear that you weren't done with him - no, not by a long shot.

[jacenotjason]

Hehehe...

Get his ass >:)

OOOHHHYEAHAHAHAHAA

YEAAAAAAAH KICK HIS ASSSSSS

FUCK HMESGHDBF YEAAAAAAAH

FUCK I NEED TO DRAW THEM LIKE NOWSIES

THEY'RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME YESSSSS GET EM EDDIEEEE

[the1975attheirverybest]

So we are all gonna beat him up for the DLID demos right? Right?????

all men do is lie 🥲

I am going to KICK HIS ASSSSSS. He keeps bringing up DLID then saying “it’s never gonna happen shut the fuck up” SIR YOU STARTED IT DONT MAKE ME COME ALL THE WAY TO ENGLAND AND RIP THE MUSTACHE OFF YOUR FACE

[flomoee]

Update since the last lil pregnancy post I put up here:

It’s not twins anymore. One baby ate the other baby. 🫣 so it’s only oneeee now, and he is a boyyyy. Kyren has a new little brother on the way. I am currently 23wks, and have 17wks left to go. More than half way there big mama! 🤗 ngl, I did end up caving and finding my way back to Branden again. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough on my own. I missed him a lot and with me being pregnant it was just a lot on my mind constantly and I really felt horrible not speaking to him. I have the best of hopes that everything goes well with him and I, and if not then I’m sure coparenting wouldn’t be bad. I just really want everything to go smoothly, but fr. I can only handle so much. Smh — anyway, I finally told everyone the big news yesterday and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders fr. I talked to uncle Freddy last night and of course his nosey ass asked who the dad was. And tbh, I told him the truth. He found out before my dad and that’ll probably be an issue but idec. I was fucking scared to tell my dad I was even pregnant in the first place so it is what it is at this point. I’m thinking my baby shower will probably be the first weekend of December. I’m also thinking the theme will be “there’s a new sheriff in town” and it will be western/cowboy themed. 🤠🩵

Very excited to meet my new lil man. And I hope that this will bring Branden and I closer and strengthen our bond. I’m also very curious to see how Kyren will respond once he realizes there’s a new baby sharing our space.

Also, RAMONE assssss be tryna kick his way out of me fr. That’s it, that’s all. 🥰

[killer-blowmybrain]

OKAY, THIS JUST GOT WORSE.

HE MADE MY CHILD MAKE CANNIBALISM.... I'M GOING TO KICK HIS FUCKING ASSSSSS

how i explain this shit

my friend just got my fucking CHILD that I MADE

and you know what? HE FUCKING MADE HIM SUFFER OUT OF NOWHERE

GUYS. HE TRAUMATIZED MY SON.

G U Y S

I'M CRYING AF HERE

WHY HE WOULD DO THAAATTTTTTT😭😭😭😭

[0chaotic-queer0]

Tiencha Headcannon #5

Sometimes Tien and Yamcha will go to a bar. Yamcha always ends up getting drunk but, one time Tien was the one to get wasted, not Yamcha. During this fiasco, Vegeta challenges Tien to a rap battle. Yamcha then finds out his boyfriend can rap REALLY good when drunk. After that, Yamcha will then (sometimes) slip alcohol into Time's tea just so he'll do it again.

Vegeta: Hey triclops!

Tien: (turns to face Vegeta) wha??

Vegeta: I challenge you to a *hic* rap battle. Do you accept?

Tien: Game on! *hic*

(After Tien won the rap battle and Yamcha drove them home)

Yamcha: I didn't know you could rap babe, that's awesome!

Tien: I kicked Vegeta's fucking *hic* assssss!!

Yamcha:*giggles* Ok, ok, go to sleep.

Tien: Did I do gooooood?

Yamcha: Yes, you did.* kiss Tien right above 3rd eye* now sleep, crane bastard.

[harryfeatgaga]

Hi miss Paige I haven't been active on your blog in a while (like a month) because school took over my souL LIKE CRAZY bhxhaja but guess what it's finals week next week then I'm fucking back in action like hello!

OMG HIIIIII UR GONNA KICK FINALS ASSSSSS

[xayakans]

nora valkyrie, rukia, chase stein!

y e s 

nora

do I like them: YES MY LITTLE MONSTER OF A GIRL 

5 good qualities: she’s optimistic, energetic, a loyal friend, hilarious af, and she never gives up

3 bad qualities: uh i mean, she has no boundaries, she’s rude af, she can be over the top

favourite episode/etc: v4 finale

otp: REN

brotp: jaune, pyrrha, weiss, ruby, and yang

ot3: surprisingly i dont have one

notp: jaune

best quote: “Struck by lightning, didn’t die. Crrraazzzyyy thursday!”

head canon: after losing pyrrha she’s really latched onto being best friends with ruby bc she regrets not spending more time with pyrrha

rukia

do I like them: I LOVE HER! SO MUCH! 

5 good qualities: she’s so brave, and so selfless, she would do anything for her friends, she’s dorky af, and she’s kind

3 bad qualities: she can be rude af, she’s TOO SELF SACRIFICING!!!!, and she holds herself to to high standards

favourite episode/etc: probably when she came back the first time and kicked ichigo’s ass out of his depression

otp: I C H I G O

brotp: orihime

ot3: ichigo and renji

notp: byakuya. ppl fucking ship her with her brother cause theyre NASTY.

best quote: "Even if you save that kid here, nothing will matter if you don't become a Shinigami! Saving him because he's right in front of you!? Don't be naive. A Shinigami has to treat all spirits equally! You cannot just conveniently save those you can see, those you can reach. Don't save that kid with such half-heartedness. If you want to save him now... accept that you must save all spirits. To go anywhere for them... to even give your life to save them, make that kind of commitment!"

head canon: SHES MARRIED TO RENJI AND ICHIGO AND KUBO CAN KISS MY ASSSSSS

chase

do I like them: he’s my BOY, FOREVER AND ALWAYS

5 good qualities: he’ll do anything for his people, he’s hilarious and knows how to lighten the mood, he has the best character growth, he’s charmingly dumb and oblivious, he SAVED MY GIRL

3 bad qualities: he can be kind of a dick (unintentionally normally but not always lmao), can’t move on w/ his life (same tho!), he doesn’t like himself at all

favourite episode/etc: god his entire arc about sacrificing himself to bring gert back

otp: G E R T R U D E Y O R K E S

brotp: nico and karolina and molly!!

ot3: gert and victor

notp: idk? none really

best quote: “Yeah, turns out I'm like the idiot kung fu master of surviving horrible terrifying shit. Seriously. I outlive everybody. Other people? Smarter people? Nah, they die. Alex. Mom and dad. Gert. First girl I ever...Yeah, she died in my arms. Twice. So for once in my life, I'm not worried about losing the game. I'm scared I'll win.”

head canon: that boy is bi bi bi. 

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

6/25/17, 5:30am - idk

Another long two weeks on the books. I really like this update schedule, it’s like just long enough that I don’t forget everything that happened lol.

 I had a really weird dream sometime this week. It was kind of amazing, so I feel like writing about it for a sec. I was on some like cobblestoney/brickey kind of streets. A little bit Doctor Who London meets Chapel Hill I suppose, and all around me people were starting to riot. I think it was a feminist riot like I had encouraged Cullen to do months ago, and people were starting to shoot at each other. I was like duck this and took off running, but as I made my way down these outdoor escalators by a target I got scooped up by a group of five girls. Each of them grabbed a hold of one of my limbs and held me down and the last had a bat and was ready to smash my junk to pieces. I was like crying or something screaming not to hit my balls because they were still fragile lmao. When all seemed lost and I was about to take a beating one of the girls got bit by a fucking zombie on the neck and started gushing blood. All the girls freaked and I knew it was my time to get the fuck out of there so I bolted like hell. I ended up finding a laundromat tucked into a corner of this outdoor mall and so I decided to build myself a barricade there. I let in a little girl and her family, and they helped me move the washers and dryers, stacking them up (I guess I was superhuman or they weighed like nothing) to build a giant barricade at the entrance. We were safe from the zombies for a while, but some government agency started taking them down outside. What looked like an enormous leech made its way inside, and I held it up to see that it had a big mouth and teeth in the center of its belly. One of the zombies tried to make a big enough crack in the washers to get in, and I held up the leech who ate the zombie whole. But the government or somebody was trying to get us to come out of our hiding spot, saying they only needed one of us. When the family decided they were going to get rid of me because they didn’t know me I decided that this was bullshit because it was MY hiding spot, and furiously threw the leech out of the place. It landed in the middle of a small platoon of guys and exploded, turning them all into zombies. Then I was like holy shit this got even weirder and I woke up lol.

____

So anyway, Sunday I managed to get a nap in before heading out to pick up frankie. we talked for a while while fonzi was getting ready and all headed out to this food truck rodeo. We had some of the most delicious shit. Not gonna elaborate too much, but there were these pork belly bun sandwiches that exploded with a crackling of meat flavor and rounded with the savoryness of the fat in every bite. Holy shit I could eat them like every day of my life lol. We spent a good couple hours there, started doing this meme where Fonzi decided that Frankie looked like a celebrity from new york because her hair is all blonde too now. Since Sean and Angel didn’t come to meet us, we decided to hang out at angel’s for a bit. Just chilled and talked for a while while we deliberated whether or not to go swimming. When we finally decided to it was sunset, so his pool was closed, and then we tried to go to my pool but it was padlocked. Pretty damn disappointing, but we walked around catching fireflies and listening to music, which was nice. I took frankie home, but missed a turn and then a road was closed so we ended up detouring through chapel hill, and I decided we needed to stop and take a walk through the arboretum. Ended up going to one of the little grassy openings and in this big oak(?) tree up above us the fireflies must have been mating. In that particular tree they lit up every couple of seconds, making it sparkle in the night. There were so many fireflies that it was like a constant twinkling, like moving christmas light strung up between the leaves. It was beautiful. But not romantic in any sense unfortunately. lmfaooo she called me out asking if I was going to try to make out with her while we walked into the garden and I tried to play it off coyly like “who me? You were the one who kissed me last I remember.” and she had forgotten about this time that I may have actually imagined in my head so who fucking knows. The long and short of it is it seems like there isn’t an ounce of me that she’s attracted to. So that might work really well if I randomly decide to take her up on her aloof offer to move in with her in Boston one day. Who knows. I stll don’t know what I want to do.

Mon - work. Tony told me at the last minute I wouldn’t have patients that weekend, so I had to work mon and weds and take a hit on tuesday to follow through on my date with Katy

Tuesday I kicked some fucking assssss in doubles. Carried my buddy Will hard to get some experience for BMR. And Katy came after she got off work! I got to introduce her to ashleigh, it was sick. I was so fucking happy to have her there and so excited to get laid and so tired from burning out from doubles that I got demolished in singles and took off. Butttt unfortunately katy wasn’t feeling well so she fell asleep on me like Immediately when we got home. Was nice cuddling up with her though. Was torn for a while because I felt like I should be trying to hang out with Ashleigh and Aaron instead. Decided not to because she wasn’t feeling well and I should try to make her feel better because I’m a sappy fuck.

weds - work

thurs - had another really low key day with Katy. kinda just hung out until she got off work and then we just slept again. Bleh.

Luckily since I got the weekend off, it left me free to see Tony and Morgan for their birthday!! It was a fucking awesome weekend, showed up just in time friday night to smoke and go to dinner with everybody. Everybody fucking cheered when I came in the door, it’s like nothing ever changes with us I love all of em so much. Finally got to meet Tony and Morgan’s S.O.’s, and I like them both a lot. Once we were all a little stoned and being a little awk Laura made this hilarious offhand remark “ok, welcome to the conference. These are your friends.” that both became a great in-joke and also made me feel less terrible for being socially inept when I got high as balls for the first time in forever lmfao. Dinner was insanely good, we got like a whole bunch of small dishes at this place Pasteur or something, ate family style and got to try so many different dishes. I remember steak tar tar and this rib that was like eating caveman bacon on a stick being incredible. Also fried pickles and all sorts of stuff. Had a couple beers there, went to a bar and bought tony a tequila shot, got home, pulled the liquor out of my car and everybody got toootally fucking wasted. I don’t remember all that much, a little bit of a nostalgia fest with Alex for a while. Tony made the clutchest move ever ordering us a pizza super late in the night. But not too much later after gorging myself I puked my guts out and crashed on an air mattress with Erica lol. Was probably drunk enough that I might have tried to make moves otherwise, even though she has a bf now apparently you know me -_- . She’s lookin suppper fit nowadays. I think she’s still uniquely the only girl I’ve rejected in my life. Back when I was just a pure little kid and didn’t want to do anything sexual without it being special yet. Fuckin weird typing that now lol it doesn’t sound like me at all.

Saturday was river day, bought some beer and hiked with it about a mile to this river and spent most of the day there smoking drinking and chatting. It was fucking gorgeous out there, and everyone looked great together laying around on this rock. Got to know Dana and her gf much better, and tony’s gf. I think I drank like 5 or 6 beers floating around in the river, it was a lot of fun trying to ford across (it had poured that morning so the water was flowing pretty fast) without spilling any beers lol. Towards the end of us hanging out in the lake me and Laura floated around in this raft morgan had brought, and alex was reeling us in and casting us back out again like he was our dad. Such an excellent day. Until then I hadn’t told anyone about my vasectomy because I didn’t want to take attention away from everyone else, seeing how it had become such a talking piece on our family vacation and how much of my conversation with frankie had revolved around it. But I mentioned it in the river and said that it was because once I found out it was reversible I felt like the onus of birth control shouldn’t be put on the woman. Everyone was just like “huh wow that’s fucking awesome I totally agree,” and I like swam away for a bit instead of discussing it further. But when we were hiking back up to our cars Mike told me “yknow you might’ve started like a revolution back there with the vasectomy thing.” I was pretty fucking drunk and a little high so I honestly wondered if he was just fucking with me for a second, but I really appreciate that he said that after all the shit I got from my family. So that was a long ass afternoon of being out in the sun, and everyone got exhausted and fought to stay up but seemed like after we got back at some point everyone took a turn of getting too high and getting zonked out on the couch. I took a nap in Tony’s bed until his dad got there and got to see him for a bit. More great food was cooked, but I felt bad that I was so tired because I kinda wanted to rage again, especially since some new people came to hang that night, but not people that I knew. As a present Tony got the fire pit from their old house, and it was really neat to have another fire and sit around it with everyone. Sunday Tony and Morgan and some people cooked an enormous breakfast for everyone. Hung out with Mike and Erica and all talked about how good we look now lol. Eventually we said our goodbyes, I stuck around after everyone had left to chill with Mike and Tony for a while because I had nothing to do back at home. Katy decided she didn’t want to chill. I had waited on my dad for a long time to see him for lunch and so I didn’t smoke too much but got a little inebriated and watched nearly a whole season of Silicon Valley with Mike and Tony and his gf and Mary.  Sun - came back at 4, got home at 7, idr that night. Mon - Stayed up until like 6am watching Doctor Who, had to go to chapel hill for a JKCF function at 9, barely slept at all but met some new cooke friends so that was cool. Went to raleigh w/ will to play melee, got suuuper fucked. Went 0-2 in singles AND doubles, the worst placing I’ve had in... well ever, but it’s been months since I’ve had one that bad. Tues - Had a redemption tournament at Geeksboro. Got second place, actually won a little money. Disappointed that I threw away a few games that might’ve given me first but had a lot of fun. Katy told me she was sick that morning, and since she had been no fun to hang out with the last week and she bailed on our plans for Sunday and that day I decided to break things off with her. She was confused and hurt, of course, but I was just like “this is bullshit you’re treating me like I’m not a friend” and we hashed things out about her worrying about me having too strong feelings and that we’d just be friends who have sex and watch cartoons and stuff. So we’ve still been snapping every day but I still haven’t seen her in a while. I’m glad we’re still friends though, I was feeling helllla fucking self conscious for a hot minute.

Weds - I hung out watching Doctor Who most of the day, but went out to the bar Ashleigh was working to hang out for a while. She introduced me to her friend who was kinda plastered and seemed like she was leaning for a kiss on our introductory hug. So I was like woooooooh baby I love gboro people I can’t believe I have to play catchup at fucking 11pm lmao. Chugged a few free beers for this Shocktop promotion, and since I hadn’t eaten anything I got just tipsy enough that I could flirt with her without feeling like a Total asshole. We were chatting about some music and stuff, went inside and danced for the tiniest bit, and then she basically kissed me three times. Nothing egregious or any tongue or anything because I was still wary of her being a little off her ass, but I realized I got a text from ashleigh saying “come talk to me.” I was like “oh what’s up?” and she said “well it doesn’t matter now, it’s just that she’s married, they’re in a rough spot but I didn’t realize it was That rough.” ha haaaaaaaaaaa goddamn just my luck lol. She ended up puking on the side of the bar, I made better friends of a few of the regulars and played pool with them, I hung out with Aaron when he showed up at the end of the night and got to hear about the drama between him and his old roommate, and I sang a bunch of karaoke. Another fucking wonderful night, fshoooo. Got a philly cheesesteak and passed out, was super hungover the next morning lmao.

Thurs - got off work early story of that girl that I posted Fri - work, getting ready for bmr, finally got my spare setup in the office at work I’m so fucking happy it doesn’t make enough noise that it disturbs the patients. I’m gonna be a god one day lolol.

Also just as a benchmark I’m 4 episodes into season 8 of doctor who now. Comin along nicely. Def the hardest I’ve binged on a show in a longggggggg time.

OH and last I learned how to solder on weds. Finally did the work on that controller mod and it fucking brokkkkeee kinda tragic, I had to throw out the guts of the controller that I learned to play the game on. I thought I was going to be fucked for a while, but luckily Will had my back and lent me one of his spares that works even better than the one I had before. Might have actually been lucky as fuck despite being out $50 on the microchips and soldering kit lmao.

Anyway my life is amazing, I’ve been doing personal finance numbers in my head a lot but I think that’s because I’m just reassuring myself that I don’t have to worry about money much anymore. Eating well, still not doing much french fries, trying to quit soda. Started doing pushups+situps+pullups before my showers, so maybe I’ll be a little fitter, even. Life’s pretty great. So fucking excited for BMR2 next weekend, hopefully I’m gonna kick some ass. Gonna be a muchhh nerdier update next time I get on here lol.