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internaljiujitsu · 4 years

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Negrito: Race In The Latino Community

I had lots of nicknames growing up. Bolita (little ball) when I was a toddler because I was round. Jun (short for Junior), because I share a name with my dad. But the monikers I heard most from my mom and extended family were Negro (black), Negrito (little black) or Negrolo (black something or other). Notice a pattern?

As the darkest person in my Puerto Rican family, that’s how my loved ones would address me. It’s a common practice in Latino cultures. Identifying someone by their color, frowned upon in politically correct, modern society, has morphed into a term of endearment among racially diverse Latinos. Or so it seems.

Despite the wide range of hues within Latino culture that would suggest an evolved view of skin color, these societies are just as racist as any dusty mid western town full of red cap wearing “Americans.”

When a black South African, Zonzibini Tunzi, beat out Ms. Puerto Rico for the ridiculous Ms. Universe crown, the supervisor for the Island’s Education Department called the winner, “La prima de Shaka Zulu.” It means Shaka Zulu’s cousin. You know, the legendary African military leader.

In case you were wondering, there is no relation.

In 1937, Dominican dictator Rafael Trujillo had forty thousand Hatitian migrants massacred to “whiten” the population of the Caribbean nation. Sixty years later, every Dominican in the world hailed the dark skinned Sammy Sosa as one of their own when he chased Babe Ruth’s legendary home run record.

And now — twenty years after that — Sammy Sosa is white.

In the eighties, my friends and family referred to African American people as “Morenos” (Dark Skinned) or “Cocolos” (a term originating with a dark skin group of people in The Dominican Republic.) We were all living in the same impoverished, dilapidated neighborhood together, but never felt the same. There was always an us against them attitude. We often felt as if we needed to fight for respect within our own neighborhood while buying into media perceptions of what it meant to be black and brown. And what we saw around us everyday did little to give us faith in ourselves or our darker brethren.

But I could blend in anywhere — while feeling comfortable nowhere. I belonged to a light skinned (except for me and my dad) Puerto Rican family growing up in a black neighborhood but I found myself relating more to white culture. While the Cosby Show was number one, I watched Family Ties. While kids were listening to Chuck D or KRS 1, I was head banging to Guns and Roses. I hated baggy clothes, preferring tight jeans and t-shirts. But I didn’t feel like I was rebelling - I just liked what I liked, and got plenty of shit for it.

To me, the Cosby show was bullshit. That’s not how it was for the black and brown people I knew. It was fantasy. Family Ties I had seen play out before my own eyes at white friends’ homes with cookie cutter lives that seemed perfect (spoiler alert: they weren’t). I wanted what they had so badly — peace of mind and enthusiasm for the future — and I wasn’t finding it where I lived.

I also hated my brother at the time (who I love to death) and wanted to be the opposite of him. He was a thug who always gave my parents headaches. He set a terrible example for his little brother while constantly asserting the fact that he was six years older and wiser. Once I stopped idolizing him, I detested everything he stood for. He has long since proven me and the old neighborhood wrong.

It took me years to become as secure as I am, but even now I get shit from people in my life. I’ve embraced my heritage and have ensured that my five year old daughter does the same. But when my parents hear my daughter speak proper Spanish without a Puerto Rican accent, they make fun of us. She’s been attending a Spanish speaking school since she was two. Her mother and I have attempted to be consistent with the dialect we use with her. That means she actually rolls her r’s and doesn’t sound like she’s gonna hock a loogie when she says “carro” or “perro.” My family thinks it’s fucking hilarious.

But it’s not just family. In a recent conversion with an old friend who had just retired from the police department, he called me an “Oreo.” Black on the outside and white on the inside. This guy is in his fifties. I chuckled when he said it, but haven’t returned his calls since.

The thing is, I know he was just fucking around. He himself is of mixed race and sounds like an Irish American with a Brooklyn accent, but looks Japanese. But there is something about police perception of dark skin people, how we are supposed to sound, that bugged me about what he said.

There’s too much chuckling that goes on. Too much nodding. A former close friend of mine, who is half Puerto Rican and married to a dark skinned Dominican woman, once complained that a guy he knew had “niggered up” his car ( because he added shiny rims, window tint and other bells and whistles). It wasn’t the first time I heard him use the word. Each time it turned my stomach. I didn’t get it — I was his friend. Both me and his wife would have been denied access to white bathrooms and water fountains. Just because we did not identify with black culture didn’t mean we wouldn’t be exposed to the same bigotry and hatred. What the fuck? It was too much for me to overlook. We haven’t spoken in years.

There was an ugly song I remember from the old neighborhood back in the day. There were two versions:

“A fight, a fight, a nigger and a white, the black don’t win, we all jump in.”

Or,

“A fight, a fight, a nigger and a white, the white don’t win, we all jump in.”

Which one you sang depended on who you were with. Which “us” against which “them?”

I remember, as a teenager, going to the Sunset Park pool in Brooklyn with a bunch of Latino boys. On the way home, there was a group of black kids walking ahead of us. The group I was with, only one of whom was my close friend, started taunting them. They hurled racial epitaphs and threats at the black kids for being in their neighborhood. I was silent and utterly confused.

As a kid, it was actually my one close white friend, Jesse, who was the least racist kid I knew. He might have been the most genuine friend I ever had. I stopped returning his calls because I didn’t trust his friendship. Not because of anything he did — My negative view of myself kept me from believing that he really wanted to be my friend. Why would he? He was from a great family that lived in a beautiful house and valued the things that mattered to me but weren’t for me.

When I hung out with Jesse’s friends, the chip on my shoulder was always ready to bash someone over the head. At a party in some kid’s basement, someone spilled a drink. The host, an Italian kid that I didn’t know, asked me to help clean it up. I told him to go fuck himself. Then he asked me, “What are you?”

The party ended when I dragged him down a staircase and started beating him down before being pulled off and barely escaping the awaiting mob. I am my brother’s brother, after all.

So even though I felt like a Martian in my own neighborhood and knew I wanted better, I didn’t think I belonged on the other side either. I was stuck in this bizarre place where the only role models I had were Roberto Clemente, Eric Estrada and Slater. I never knew anyone else successful that looked like me. At the same time it seemed everyone around me was determined to make sure I never forgot where I belonged.

When I was twelve years old, I refused to attend my zone school because it had a reputation for being the worst in the city. It wasn’t my parents that refused, it was me. I told my mom and dad I would not go to junior high unless they transferred me. What if I hadn’t done that?

As it turns out, the school I ended up going to (because my dad used a friend’s address) was in a good part of town and was the best public education I ever experienced. The work was so advanced that I went from being one of the smartest kids in class to struggling. I actually had to study — something I never had to do much of and found excruciatingly boring. At that new school, I felt like the bad boy. The outcast. The kid that didn’t quite belong and couldn’t keep up.

My grades suffered that year, and when I transferred to a another school, I wasn’t placed in the gifted program for the first time in my scholastic career. I petitioned the principal and pleaded my case, explaining the difficult circumstances of the previous year and promising that I would shine in his “7SP“ class, which got to skip the eight grade and go straight to “9SP” in the fall. Like when I refused to go to that war zone of a school, I once again stood up for my own education. I was thirteen years old.

The work that year was far easier than what I had learned at the other school. I breezed through. The kind of disparity that existed between the two public middle schools I attended is indicative of the subpar education that children of color receive within what is supposed to be one school system. Kids in bad schools aren’t exposed to the same world that their crosstown rivals are and are ill prepared for the reality that awaits — be it a college admissions exam or the job market. Those who do not take it upon themselves to find opportunities for advancement can’t rely on working parents with little time or education to advocate for them. They are left with shitty choices and no one to champion their cause.

The scourge of poverty and racism is further sullied by the structural hierarchy of “shade” in communities of color. In the Autobiography of Frederick Douglass, the trailblazing abolitionist and former slave writes of the preferential treatment lighter slaves received, even among the others in bondage. Proximity to whiteness, then and now, is proximity to power and privilege.

In the late 1700’s, Spain instituted the process of gracias al sacar. Mixed race people could purchase a decree that converted them to white. One such royal decree granted to Cuban Manuel Baez in 1760 says that it erased “the defect that you suffer from birth and leave you able and capable as if you did not have it.” Ain’t that some shit.

Alice Walker coined the term “colorism” in her book, “In Search of Our Mother’s Garden”. She describes “prejudicial or preferential treatment of same-race people based solely on color.” Research has shown that skin tone affects the outcome of job interviews, court cases and elections. This is not a secret among people of color. They grow up believing that the whiter they look, the easier they’ll have it.

How does that make a kid feel who wants so badly to get ahead in life but has the mirror, the media and the world outside his window saying he doesn’t stand a chance? As if even after you do all the work and get to the finish line, the tape will be pulled back another few feet each time you stretch to get across. The life you want will be just out of reach, no matter how long or how fast you run.

There has been a delusion among some that because we’ve had a black president, hip hope rules the world and the Rock is the world’s biggest movie star, racism doesn’t exist anymore. There are people of color in positions of power and prestige, but they are few and far between. There just hasn’t been enough time for all the seeds of opportunity that were only planted a generation or two or three ago to compete with those who have seemingly inherited an eternity of racial privilege. Just because so many people fought for and finally earned some basic human rights doesn’t mean the playing field has been leveled.

The destruction of the long standing racial hierarchy is a challenging ongoing project that the world must decide to address together. The perpetuation of negative stereotypes of black and brown people is not only meant to strike fear in every suburban household, but to reinforce in the mind of the oppressed their role in society. Centuries of subjugation have purposefully convinced young men and women of color that they are born with an inherent disadvantage. Then, once their will to fight was clear, the oppressors barked that those they once lorded over should be grateful to simply be out of their chains.

It is up to people of color, whether African American, Latino, West Indian, or any other subdivision of “black” that may exist, to burn down the old models. The carefully calculated lie that “whiteness” is more attractive, desirable or indicative of ability must be deleted from our main frame. We must believe we are just as capable, because we obviously are. We must know that we have the opportunities, even if we have to work harder for them. And we cannot fight among ourselves, to the delight of those that would sooner see us dead, in jail or all together erased from the annals of history.

With dog whistles long having been discarded in favor of bull horns, the paper thin veil has been lifted from our union. In a country already in pieces, further division because of infighting is not something people of color, no matter their shade, can afford.

#race #racism #latino #self esteem #stereotypes #mindset

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withinthescripts · 6 years

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Season 3, Reel 2: August 13, 1953

[tape recorder turns on]

Amy, call Dr. Jefferson and get me an appointment on Thursday or Friday early morning.

Vivi and I found an injured cat and we’d like to get it fixed. Fixed meaning “spayed”, but I suppose also meaning “repaired”. See if Dr. Jefferson can repair and spay our new cat.

Also, pick up a square fabric about 30 x 30 centimeters, something orange, preferably patterned, an argyle or stencil print, as well as some dark thread, maroon or violet. Once you did that, fold the square into a bandana and embroider the name “Constance” onto the back part of the bandana. We named the cat Constance. Also Amy, can you print that name in script? In cursive where each letter elegantly sweeps onto the next. Don’t fret if you can’t do that, just do it in print, I guess. Thanks.

Letter from the office of Michael Witten on the 13th of August, 1953 to Ursula Lindholm, Director of Communications, Department of Global Trade, European office. Dear Director Lindholm. Thank you for your reply to my question about personnel restructuring. Your concerns about my “poking around” are valid, but rest assured that this is not an inquisition or a judgment, simply curiosity. Amy, don’t write “poking around”, say uh, say “inquiries”. Always mean what you say, but rarely say what you mean.

It is a brave new and unincorporated world out there, and we’re all doing our best to set about a new, less destructive course while implementing an entirely novel set of rules. If you and your office are finding success in reorganization, I certainly wanna know about it. We are not business, Director Lindholm, we are government. We are a truism, a monolith, many roots of the same tree. This is not competition, but collaboration. That being said, I apologize if I pressed too hard into your business and the goings on of your new Regional Director of Trade, Karen Roberts. Karen and I know each other peripherally through Global Secretary of Trade, Vishwathi Ramadoss, my direct supervisor.

Karen, I believe, testified against Secretary Ramadoss during preliminary hearings about domestic espionage in Vancouver last year, even though there were no fucking documents to suggest any of the allegations were true, Ursula, and even if they were, the things Secretary Ramadoss could have revealed about Karen, if there were any domestic spying on businesses, would have destroyed her career. Secretary Ramadoss was using computational machines to record basic data on commerce. It’s just numbers to help with global trade, which is Vishwathi Ramadoss’ fucking job over the whole fucking planet. So yeah, I’m a bit goddamned concerned about Karen Roberts.

Amy, obviously delete all of that, just cut it after the part where I said that I knew Karen. But seriously, Vishwathi was organizing data into charts about a birthplace, age, gender and known health records. The Pacific Northwest pissed themselves that Vishwathi was keeping notes on parents’ names. Oh, what if the citizens find out and try to reconnect with their parents? We don’t allow parents anymore – spare me, she only wrote down the parents’ names in cases where people were direct descendants of the last generation, so they’d already know. It was everything over nothing!

By the way, were you not able to find any of the files from our work in Vancouver? Where was I?

If my tone was aggressive, then I apologize. Ursula, it was not my intent, I would never wanna make a colleague feel less than on equal ground. As I understand it, Karen Roberts relocated the entire Western European Labor Department into the Communications Office. Congratulations on the increased resources! I hope you got a raise.

I wish there were a way to suggest this a joke. Ursula doesn’t seem to have any sense of humor. Her letter was what, two sentences? I’m surprised she didn’t carve it directly into a block of ice.

Amy, can you just draw a smilie face after my last comment? I’m not kidding.

But most of my questions went unanswered. Perhaps you’re pressed for time and if so, please let me know my best approach to Karen Roberts herself. She hasn’t returned my calls or letters. First, what is to become of regulatory protections for workers? The North and Baltic Seas are filled with fishing ships, there are mines and textile factories all over the continent. Who is protecting workers from abuse if the entire region has no labor department? You can’t build a society without a well treated work force.

Second, Karen Roberts owned the largest construction firm along the Gulf of Mexico. Upon taking a government job, did she sell her interests in KR Development, Inc.? Calls to her Houston office suggest to me she has not. This is a violation of the new society ethics bylaws for bureaucrats. If she still owns any part of KR while administering all of Europe’s trade, then this is in direct conflict with our new society’s core values for governmental leadership. This is not a threat, but a fact. Also, it is a threat.

Don’t write that part. Uh, no, write it but then draw another smilie face. That was definitely a joke, no threats in letters Amy, you know that.

I especially encourage you to look into the matter of weapons development along the old Mexican border. Karen’s factories were former arms manufacturing sites. Of course, KR Development now makes its business dismantling war machines for use in new, non-military construction. They have their slogan “swords to ploughshares”, of course. But in my working with Karen on previous North American reconstruction projects, there were persistent rumours that southern militias were being armed by weapons still being manufactured by KR. I have no physical evidence of this and I would never share it publicly, but the European people will not be happy if some journalist finds this proof. My North American people will certainly not be happy, which will make me even more unhappy, and Global Secretary of Trade Vishwathi Ramadoss will be the least happy of us all.

Of course, my staff member Amy Castillo was not able to dig up anything about current weapons production, and if she cannot find anything then I’m sure no one can. You didn’t, right Amy?

So perhaps we have no worries at all. I merely encourage you to do your own research into your new head of trade. Please keep me informed on this matter.

Finally, I was told someone from your office has shut down the production of a play called “Last Night We Were the Wind” at the Olympia in Dublin. I don’t mean to suggest that you are practicing censorship, but the account I heard had to do with the playwright Neve Connolly’s open critique of the new society, that your office found the play, quote, “grotesquely retrospect”. I understand that art can be disruptive and provocative, and we are all trying to build public and global confidence in our new society, but this is why a department of labor or culture exists, to work with artist to find the right message. Amy, underline “right”.

It should be a friendly discourse between government and author, not an indifferent one, as is the way with the “last” generation, nor as in this alleged case, an authoritarian one. Plus we’re only one year removed from the Removal of Nations Act, which forced England to finally cede imperial claims over Ireland, so I’m not sure a London office shutting down a play in Dublin goes over too well. There may be no more borders, but there are a fucking lot of feelings. A-amy, streamline that. Perhaps there were other problems related to labor or finances I’m unaware of, but please do enlighten me on the reasons for silencing a young artist.

Thank you for your time and input. Despite my uh pointed questions, please know that I’m only interested in learning more about what has been effective for your region. Life is nothing if not for learning.

Sincerely, Michael Witten, Director of et cetera et cetera.

[tape recorder turns off] [ads] [tape recorder turns on]

Amy, on second thought, if you can’t embroider a nice cursive script, please just find a tailor or something to teach you. I dunno, figure it out. I’m positive you can figure it out. I think you said you were learning pottery or woodworking? I should remember these things. It was something crafty, so you’ll pick this up in no time.

I hope you realize how much I appreciate your work, Amy. I’m aware that I can be abrupt, and I probably don’t acknowledge your efforts enough, but believe me, they are appreciated. When I worked as Head of the Midwest Region before I took this job, I knew the location of every file, every book, every paperclip in my office. I had to, I had a secretary oh god, Kevin Prince. He was dreadful. I had to edit every letter he transcribed, double check his document organization. I even listened in on some of the phone calls I told him to make. I liked how confident I was in every detail of what I did, but I got home at nine or ten PM most nights. Vivian was not happy eating alone. I felt like I was stacking teacups, each a different size every day, one on top of the other, each one taking more time than the last. Carefully looking at direction, curve, weight, keeping the center vertical… I knew it wouldn’t take long for it all to collapse. But then by miracle, I was selected to take over this office, and here you were.

And you’re everything Kevin was not. Organized and detailed, on time. My first boss at the Textile Distribution Center in Sioux City gave me only one rule: “if you receive an order, ship it.” It’s a deceptively difficult rule. I know almost no one including myself who can follow this 100 per cent of the time. If you receive an order, ship it.

I know we don’t work in shipping and fulfilment here, Amy, but everything I ask of you, you do immediately and effectively. I don’t know where anything is or how you have it all filed, but I’m home by six every night. And when I ask you to dig up old records on some project or meeting, I’ve got a tidy stack on my desk at the end of the day. Except Vancouver. I’m assuming those were lost or we just never had them?

I used to think leadership was managing every aspect of an underling’s work, but I realize leadership is quietly accepting that people will do everything correctly and allowing them to figure out when they’re wrong. Or you’re just really remarkable. Either way, Vivian appreciates you more than you know. We should have you over for dinner some night. We’ve worked together for how many years now? Why hasn’t this happened? Let’s make this happen.

Letter from of the office of Michael Witten on the 18th of August 1953 to Bernice Jones, Minister for Culture, North American region.

Dear Bernice, it was fantastic having you and Miguel for dinner this weekend. I always enjoy your company and Vivi and I truly loved the wine you brought. We never had a marble wine before. So crisp and smooth, but with a sweet nose, like someone eating a passion fruit next to you while you touch cold marble swatches. And please thank Miguel for the wonderful gift of music. I’m listening to the record right now*, Vivi has turned me on to jazz. I don’t know if I enjoy it, but I uh appreciate it. It’s like music but with a puzzle in it. Apparently there are some jazz clubs right here in Chicago.

* there’s no music in the background

You mentioned your youth arts initiatives in Oaxaca and I was intrigued. While the Department of Global Trade does not directly oversee artistic funding, we certainly oversee global trade, whatever you think that last word means. Perhaps there’s room for a collaboration here between our offices. As you know, Vivi is an avid collector of modern art. You noted with a touch of awe the original Claudia Atieno in our den, and I’ve never seen Vivi light up quite like that. [chuckles] With all the accountants and lawyers who come through our doors, you can imagine how rare it is to find a dinner guest who can recognize the care and attention Vivi puts into her collection.

After your visit, Vivi and I discussed how we can do more to help young artists. Or forget young, artists in general. Why single out only the inexperienced? What of those in between training and fame who need our help most? Of course we donate and make purchases where we can, but money only goes so far.

You may need to burn this letter after I tell you this, but our department is swimming in money. I can’t put resources toward a North American gallery or opera or (-) [0:16:30], but I could certainly put money toward a global artistic exchange. Can you imagine teaching the Cahto language in (Canberra), or singing Mariachi in Marrakesh, or performing Neve Connolly in London? I think the people of London would adore such a dynamic new writer.

Connolly is controversial, yes, what with her depictions of traditional family roles and the challenge this presents the new generations of people raised to reject the tribalism of family. But she’s a brilliant young playwright. You know her work, she was brought to speak at Tulane last year through a grant from your office.

The Palladium in London is dark right now. The West End is starving for theatre. We could produce a Neve Connolly play there with a North American production team and Dublin actors. I’m not sure if you’ve read her play “The Topaz Window”, but it’s truly a masterpiece. It centers around an extraordinary painting of mysterious origin that begins to drive a wedge between a previously close family. I won’t spoil it, but the denouement is truly shocking.

Anyway, if someone were to stage that, I’m sure we could commission a well regarded artist to provide the painting in question, maybe even Claudia Atieno herself. I know an art collector named Archie McPherson who would get us in touch with her.

This is truly cultural and global trade, I’m positive our European offices will be pleased. No, make that “delighted”, Amy.

I’ll have my secretary Amy send you a full proposal and budget within a week. I look forward to discussing this with you soon, give my love to Miguel, all the best, Mikey.

[tape recorder turns on]

Amy, write a letter to Vishwathi. 20th August, 1953.

Dear Secretary Ramadoss, I’m pleased to hear you agree with me about the European trade offices. I, too, was alarmed to hear that Karen Roberts had disbanded her labor department, but not surprised. As you saw in my memorandum, she has a long history of disrespect towards workers, going back to her time in Houston. My contact, Ursula Lindholm in the Communications offices in Europe, is reluctant to share many details with me, so I’m hoping to make new connections with the European Trade Department employees. A former colleague of mine from my old job in St. Louis, Leena Mäkinen is living in Helsinki. She would be interested in a move to the Oslo offices. Would you be willing to write a recommendation for her? I think Leena could provide some information that Ursula is certainly unwilling to share. Not a spy, really but a um… You know, scratch that, let’s not be dramatic.

I know you do not know her, and I do not want to seem flippant about professional ethics, but as you once told me, act first, argue semantics later. The staff and I hope you can visit Chicago again soon. Fall is beautiful here, we’ll take you to the lake. Also the Field Museum finally reopened last month. They only recovered a quarter of their collection from the Great Reckoning, but many museums were far lass fortunate.

Amy, remove the paragraphs mentioning Leena Mäkinen from this letter. I think it’s better not to involve the secretary in this. Let’s go with this.

Perhaps you can use your influence to find out whether Karen has sold off her interest in KR development, and what they plan on doing to manage labor, now that they’ve gutted the department. Thank you again for your attention in this manner. Sincerely, Michael Witten, North America.

[tape recorder turns off]

Jeffrey Cranor: Within the Wires is a production of Night Vale Presents. It is written by Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Matthewson, with original music by Mary Epworth. Find more of Mary’s music at maryepworth.com. The voice of Michael Witten is Lee LeBreton. You can support our show and get exclusive episodes and other cool things at patreon.com/withinthewires.

OK, our time is done. It’s you time now. Time to head to happy hour after a long day of work at the [yoga tournament], to enjoy a pint of [tamarin sauce] with your friend [Jean Valjean].

#within the wires #within the wires transcripts #season 3 #season 3 reel 2 #august 13 1953 #long post

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latina4rmbx · 4 years

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Tomorrow isn’t Promised

I saw an ad for a game on Facebook. A clip really. There were couples staring at each other. Some crying, some laughing nervously. All I remember was this one profound question: "If this were to be our last conversation, what is one thing you’d never want me to forget?”

A seed was born from the question. I figured, I’d ask people. At first, I asked the closest people to me, then I expanded the circle. Needless to say, I freaked a whole bunch of people out. Before I get to the responses I want you to know that a lot of these are deeply personal, so I will not include names. Some people who follow me on here, MAY know some of the individuals, but not all.

I am NOT sick. I am totally ok. I found the question so profound, I HAD to ask it. I have no regrets.

If there was a way to share all of the screen shots, I swear I would but trust me, there were just so many.

Some people responded with just 1 thing. Some people responded with long beautiful messages. They are all appreciated and I will forever hold them dear to my heart.

All, but 4 people, received a response to the question from me. I won’t divulge my responses because as soon as I pressed send, they no longer belonged solely to me. Just know a good response for most was: you made me cry.

I’ll be typing the responses to the question. Some people gave multiple responses so I may give both.

I had a conversation with my confidante and she says that this is amazing. Sort of like a living eulogy. She asked me if I knew these things the people were saying. I explained to her that in truth, I never really thought about it. In the end I learned 2 valuable lessons:

Younger males mainly speak of themselves.

You never really know the profound impact you have had on another persons life. You’ll see what I mean.

Without further ado, here are the responses, in no particular order:

To value your worth. To never forget that I love you and the kids. That you’re a great writer. A great friend. A great mother. I can’t name just one. Don’t forget to give your friends a blanket.

That I love you & I know I was difficult growing up but I always loved you even when it might’ve felt like I didn’t. And that I forgive you.

That I greatly appreciate your genuine friendship and you will always hold a special place in my heart. and that’s the truth.

That I love you

How much I love you

How genuine and good-hearted you’ve always been, no matter what life has thrown at you. Your situation never changed your heart, in Janee’s words, you’ve stayed golden.

One thing? That I love you.

That I love you. Why are you talking like that?

That I am always here for you and that I have and have always had. nothing but love for you.

Sheesh, I don’t know if I interpreted this question correctly but: If this is our last conversation because you are on your death bed I would say: In life, it sometimes feels like the world was simply horrible. Nothing was good and it was full of hate and anger. Thank you for being someone that gave hope just by being her positive self. I know that because you were my hope when the world seemed horrible with simple gestures. May not have changed the world, but it saved me some days. If it was because we fell off or some other shit: You was always lit. Stay golden. Don’t change for nobody. I wish you the best.

I’m your child. No matter how much u deny me !! and I love you!

I appreciate all the kindness and support you’ve always shown me.

I would want you to know how much I love you and how much you’ve impacted my life in such a positive manner. How much I love that you’re not just my aunt but you’re like my best friend, and how I feel that you out of most people understand me on a different level.

You prob the funniest chick I know the pleasure of knowing. There’s your one thing.

Omg don’t say that but I would say you are a beautiful person inside and out and the world is a better place because you are in it. You have a beautiful family and friends that love you.

Id never want you to forget how much I GENUINELY appreciate our conversation. How you were there for me and gave me so much words of wisdom when I was going thru the worst time of my life. How you satisfied my craving of violets when I was pregnant with Mychael..and how much you make me laugh thru social media because you are so funny!

That you really will be missed and that I wish our friendship happened sooner so I’ll have more time with you!!! You are greatly appreciated.

I love you with all of my heart. You’re an inspiration to me. Words could not describe what you are to me. More than a cousin, more than a sister. Awilda Lee was the brightest thing in our lives when she came along. Thank. you for her. Thank you for having unconditional love for me that my Wela had. I have very fond memories at 533. You’re in almost all of them. From music out the window to your word processor and all your CD’s. My love of music comes from you.

That I love you like MY blood sister!

Us when we was living with grandma on 139th street, while you play Richard Marx “i’ll be Right Here Waiting for You.” Til this day when I hear that song I see you playing it. I love you.

That Jesus loves you so much He gave His life for you in order to offer you forgiveness for all the wrong you’ve done & a way for you to live with Him eternally in His presence & that its. never to late to give him a change because He’s always by you waiting.

That you are very loved. Good morning honey.

Jesus loves you!

If this were my last conversation with you I would want you to never forget that you are an amazing person from the first time I met you as Dr. D secretary til now, the only thing that has changed is your hair color and your age lol. I genuinely have love for you. Your free spirit and outspokenness is always welcome in my world. I know you said one thing but I had more than one thing lol. Oh and you’re a bomb writer. So when you publishing your 1st book?

That you were an amazing friend that honestly left an imprint in my life.

What an awesome job. you’ve done with Joaquin!!

Morning lol your smart mouth and trouble shooting skills.

I wouldn’t want you to forget how absolutely amazing I think you are. You were there for me when I needed you most. Helping me with my son and a shoulder to cry on. For that, I will be forever grateful.

Fine. I’d want you to never forget that not only do we have the same teeth, that we’re cousins on both sides of our family and that you’re first daughter looked exactly like me when she was younger. And that although we don’t speak much, I love you more than anything.

My gap

That I love and you’re my favorite person in life and I am grateful that God put us together and I hope we together in the next life too.

How hard we laughed together.

How I never judged anyone. Good morning. (I think they mean how u, meaning me, never judged anyone)

How much I love you.

How much I love and appreciated you.

How valuable I feel our friendship is and how much your wisdom and guidance has helped me in very difficult times. I appreciate and love you very much.

That I love you

That although growing up we were not close. I still have a great deal of love for you and I absolutely enjoy every single lil time we share together. and our sex talk at times (they meant we talk about it, not that we talk it to each other)

That I love you. That you are special strong funny.

That you are love

That I love you unconditionally because you are extremely unique.

That you have a warm and tender heart and a fierce outer shell. You are an incredibly strong and smart woman.

That you are an absolutely amazing human being & that you deserve all the happiness and love that this world has to offer. Never stop smiling.

That I love you and everything about you.

You will forever be my favorite bookworm. You’ve written your own book in my life. “That loyal friend” by OV. You speak my love language you always have and I am just as honored to have you in my corner. I love you. my dear friend. Sincerely, KR.

Everyday of my. younger life, all I wanted to do was find you guys! Once I did, I felt I was becoming complete! Meeting you guys when you y’all came to Cali was EVERYTHING I could have asked for and more! You guys are ones I work for EVERYDAY! Once I make this generational wealth, I got y’all! I promise you that!

I know it’ll sound cliche but I don’t thin you will ever truly know and understand how truly and deeply I care and love you. You helped pull me out of really dark place, you are an amazing soul. You are one of the rare ppl that i actually think of when i think of love and friendship and i thank you for being a part of my life.

That you’re my Binobo (a species of monkey - look it up)

When I would nag you on the 1st of the month.

That you should never forget how much you are loved. That your generosity of spirit and goodness far surpasses any flaws. That you are sooooo much more worthy, than you think you are. That I would never want you to settle for anyone who isn’t a really good person to you and the kids. Most importantly, I would pass on something that my Great Aunt once told me to always remember...If it doesn’t bring you peace, then it isn’t from God. In my experience, those words have always proven true. You know in your heart and it your gut - there is a very definitive, distinct sense of peace, when things are right. God only wants that sense of calm and joy, and He gave us the instinct to recognize the difference. (AMEN!)

I truly don’t like the tone of this question. But it would be your honesty. You’ve always been so open and honest about your story and it was a breath of fresh air for me.

Your humor and smile is always up lifting.

Awwwww. You are my counselor. You always have the best advice you are the sassiest glamma I know and the queen of essential oils lol. you add a special something to the world that only you can. A tell it like it is type of chick, who always keeps it 100%. It’s been such a pleasure having you in my world.

If it’s a thought about you, it wold be that I thought were smarter, funnier and at least a little better looking than the average bear. If it’s a memory, besides the short jokes and dancing, I would want you to remember, well it’s a toss up. Remember the time I lied about cooking food I brought in lunch, that it was really Lydia who made it, and she busted me.

I’d say thank you for being the parents that you are and thank you for allowing me to influence your little treasure and for keeping in contact with me.

Don’t forget to put me in your will. Lol just playing. That I love you of course.

How much I love you and thank you for always being neutral even if you’re his coworker lol.

I’d want you to know...While there is a great physical distance between us, I feel close to you. I love that you had a special relationship with my mom and hope that we can have our own. Big hugs to you.

1. That I love you. 2. that I would like you to raise my kids if anything happened to me or my wife.

That my heart was pure whether they were good or bad to me. To be honest I just want people to know that I’ve always been a good soul and did my best to be there for those who needed me, just a selfless individual.

You’re the best grandma Saniyah will have from marriage you love her like she’s really your daughters child and I love it. wouldn’t want it any other way.

Nuestra amistad (TRANSLATION: our friendship)

I love you

Never forget that I love you and God is good.

I don’t want it to be our last conversation but one thing that i don’t want you to forget is that you called me Thunderbuddy.

That I love you. That you’re an amazing person! Wait that’s two things right? LOL

Never forget who got you high.

1. Don’t forget to brush your teeth (stephen’s voice) 2>. Don’t forget to keep being unapologetically yourself.

How cute and funny I am lol

I wouldn’t want you to forget the laughs we’ve shared. Our birthday body suits.

Thank you for reading,

XOXO

0 notes

careergrowthblog · 5 years

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Eureka! Teaching for creativity. C = f (K, P, D)

Over the years I’ve thought a lot about the question of teaching for creativity. Back in 2012 I wrote this post where I made some reasonably sensible general statements:

It is uncontroversial that for us to solve Humanity’s problems, to create the conditions for a sustainable future and also to maximise the cultural richness of our lives, we need to develop our collective capacity to be creative and innovative. It also flows fairly obviously that our education system should contribute to this process. Creativity and innovation, to my mind, manifest themselves in two arenas:

Arts and Culture: our capacity to express ideas through art forms of all kinds including literature, music, art, theatre and design. This can be about composition and performance.

Problem Solving: our capacity to develop our understanding of scientific and technical problems, or social and political problems, and generating solutions.

In both areas, there is demand for us to do better – whether you are driven by a hard-headed desire to put our nation at the cutting edge of industrial technology for economic purposes or by a more ‘you can say that I’m a dreamer’ ambition to create a society where people are able to express themselves more fully as rounded individuals with ideas and talents of all kinds.

However, sad to say, I was rather overly impressed by Sir Ken Robinson. I even asked a colleague to draw this cartoon for me:

Hilarious cartoon. Because this is what skool is like, yeah.

It’s an all-too-common and rather pathetic and lazy line of reasoning, that schools batter kids out of their creativity, their souls, their love of life and learning by being all ‘exam factory’. Thankfully, I’ve changed my views – not entirely; but I’ve refined them significantly.

I now regard Sir KR as rather ‘all mouth and no trousers’, all too willing to slag schools off as prison ships of doom and not really offering meaningful, scalable alternatives. What I see is that, in the main, schools that do the best work in fostering creativity are also those where students are set high academic standards; where the exam results are good; where there is discipline, rigour, high expectations. Creativity is the product of a rigorous, broad, knowledge-rich curriculum.

This territory has been explored superbly by David Didau via twitter and his blog and his most recent book. Here (https://learningspy.co.uk/featured/can-creativity-be-taught/ ) David explores whether creativity can be taught. I’d agree that creativity is better regarded more as an emergent outcome rather than something that can be taught per se – so I prefer to think of creativity as something than can be fostered. But my view is that creativity can and should be fostered. The question is how?

David suggested that it would be hard to find a much better formula than that creativity is a function of knowledge and practice. Let’s say C = f(K, P). This means that the road to creativity is focus on maximising the knowledge students have and encourage them to engage in lots of varied practice. To a large extent I agree with this. In any field where you could be said to be creative, you will have significant knowledge of numerous possibilities; the more knowledge you have of the various elements you can deploy – artistically, mathematically, technologically – then the more options you have for combining ideas in original ways. The more practice you do in combining things you know, the better you get at it – and this manifests itself as being more creative.

Here’s a great example that I first referenced in my 2012 post: My daughter learned from Francis Bacon, first by making a copy of his work:

And then, by using her new knowledge to produce this portrait of her brother:

Knowledge + Practice. It worked. She went on to assimilate this style into her own repertoire of art techniques and used them to inform future creative endeavours in art.

Here’s another example from my son. When he was in Year 2, aged 7, his teacher provided him with the knowledge and scaffolding to write poetry in a certain style and then gave him the opportunity to practise. This is what teaching to be creative is, in my view: showing that there are more possibilities ( showing that words can be organised in structures that create feelings and moods) and then providing the opportunity to try it.

I could list a great many similar experiences as a musician, science teacher and a writer where more knowledge and more practice have allowed me to become more creative. In music, for example, improving my knowledge of chord shapes or of satisfying sequences and sounds (all remembered as physical or visual shapes, not through formal music notation) has allowed me to write various pieces of music. When you are stuck for inspiration, it’s often by gaining new knowledge from others or by revisiting knowledge you already have, varying the mode of practice, that you find a new rewarding creative avenue to go down.

The implication for the school curriculum here is that students need to have opportunities to gain knowledge and to practise expressing or applying knowledge creatively in a range of domains including explicitly artistic domains. You can’t practise if you’re not given the opportunity. In my formula, I nearly used O instead of P. O for Opportunity. But it’s the opportunity to practise that matters. If a curriculum denies students the opportunity to practise, the knowledge has nowhere to go, nowhere to find form in creative pursuits. You might know, in theory, what it might be like to write creatively, compose music, solve technical problems with a range of techniques, but unless you are given the chance to do it, you don’t practise and therefore can’t get better or more fluent. This where my simple Mode A Mode B model kicks in.

However, I feel that C = f( K,P) misses out a vital element in my own creative experiences – and in those I see from others- and this in the territory of attitudes or dispositions. In a range of situations – with classes of students, fellow musicians in a band, developing my own writing or musical range – I’ve found that a key element in determining the quality, the scope, the ‘success’ of creative endeavours owes a great deal to the disposition of the creators: that willingness to explore, to try untested ideas, to take risks, to break from conventions, to go down the less trodden path. This can’t be covered under ‘Knowledge’ or ‘Practice’, in my view. It’s more about mindset. It sits outside those things.

Can you foster more creative dispositions? Yes I think you can. A teacher – or parent or a peer or individual for themselves – can give value to the various products of any creative process and encourage someone to continue to explore. If you are rewarded by the response you get from generating ideas, you are more likely to continue generating them. As a band member, I was often struck by how bold some of my friends would be with their musical experiments where I tended to be more conservative. I had more rules confining me; they didn’t. I’ve watched art teachers push A level students to explore deeper, wider, more bravely, more boldly, more expansively – building knowledge, encouraging practice – but mainly supporting a ‘go for it’ disposition, breaking down inhibitions, and leading students to become more creative, more original. In this sense, creativity can certainly be fostered.

I’ve seen this happen with writing too. I had some encouragement and direction writing my blog and book to use my own voice; to write more freely, to say what I felt.. to mix up the sentences. Short ones. Punchy. Direct. And longer ones that allow you to range from idea to idea in a more lyrical fashion giving the sense of building momentum and heightened emotions and having something important to say!

My son has had this too. I love this. A Year 7 homework to explore the use of reported speech, scripting dialogue, a bit of linguistics, etc. My son wrote pages of this, utterly absorbed for hours one night. The teacher urged them to ‘have fun with it’. So he did. He diced with some stereotypes and later in the story subverted them rather cleverly.

I think this illustrates the formula nicely: C = f(K,P, D)

He’s using knowledge he’s acquired from his experience and from studying grammar.

He’s been given an opportunity – a structured framework within which to practise.

He’s been encouraged to develop his disposition to be uninhibited; to take a risk, to not stick to safer conventions of writing.

In combination, my son was being taught to be creative. His creativity was being fostered. It can be done.

With this in mind, I would say that a great school curriculum needs to attend to all three areas. It’s never a fight between knowledge and creativity. Often the limiting factor is opportunity for practice. Often it’s a lack of open-endedness, thereby limiting the possibilities and creating an over–emphasis on correctness, the opposite to a creative disposition. It doesn’t matter how much knowledge you have if you’re not encouraged by the value system you exist in to deploy it creatively. At the same time, having the disposition to explore is utterly fruitless if you don’t have knowledge of the range of possibilities. This is the Sir KR trap: the illusion that we can bypass knowledge in favour of dispositions. It’s a false promise. Crucially, importantly – the safest bet from all three factors is to build knowledge. It’s definitely the place to begin and to give the greatest weight to.

If we get our ideas lined up – deeper knowledge, practice opportunities, exploratory disposition – then we can start to talk about ‘teaching students to be creative’ or at least, ‘fostering creativity’ in a meaningful way.

C = f(K,P, D)

Cue Archimedes running naked from the bath.

Eureka! Teaching for creativity. C = f (K, P, D) published first on https://medium.com/@KDUUniversityCollege