#Kaeya screams a war cry

[frozenambiguity]

Literally the first song in that playlist:

I can hear the sound of a heartbeat before it goes out Won't ever leave my memory of bloodshed all around And I can see a tear on my father's face before it falls out Oh, my enemy, how could I have ever let you down? Oh When all these trees saw us grow Cut our teeth and make our bones right here We'd play with shields made of stone Share our dreams and sit our thrones Be still, 'cause I see smoke up ahead and I got steel in my hands We will return like warriors, I swear, that we'll find glory up ahead Tell me: Where is my home? I don't recognize the faces anymore, no Where is my friend? The one I've known since I was only just a kid

[dawn-moths]

“Our Love Was Written in the Stars”

Kaeya Alberich x Female Reader

word count: 18,700+

(After losing touch with your childhood best friend and first love, you find yourself face to face with Kaeya four years later while back in Mondstadt for a university research project. While part of you had hoped to see him, you also hadn’t expected it to be so soon. But the more you two begin to reconnect, the more you realize he missed you just as much as you missed him. So, with a lot of lost time to make up for, you and Kaeya explore the relationship you were probably always meant to have.)

disclaimer/content warning: 18+ content! minors dni! Mostly fluff and then smut at the end, some spoilers for Kaeya and Diluc’s backstory (though I’m sure I didn’t get the exact timeline right), childhood friends to lovers, drinking/alcohol, some hurt/comfort with a little bit of angst, slow burn.

*thank you to the anon who requested this fic, i hope you enjoy!*

*ao3 mirror*

***

Things always seemed so much simpler, looking back. Things used to last longer.

A day spent playing with your friends would feel like forever. At least, until the time came to go home. Then it felt like the fun had barely even begun.

And the four weeks out of every year— two in the fall and two in the spring— that your father left you under the care of the Ragnvindr household’s staff while he and Crepus were off on a mutual business trip in one of the other nations…

Those weeks had lasted eons.

That was, of course, until both of the wine tycoons returned and you were once again whisked away back to your own family estate.

However, even as you became more aware of just how short that sliver of time was the older you grew, you never stopped looking forward to spending those weeks with Master Ragnvindr’s sons, Kaeya and Diluc, who were just about the same age as you.

You used to kick and cry and scream when your father told you to thank Crepus and his boys for letting you stay with them before you headed home. Then, after a very stern talking to about how, if that kind of behavior was to result every time your father returned to retrieve you, you wouldn’t be allowed to stay with your friends anymore, you turned to crying yourself to sleep on the last night in the Ragnvindr mansion and the first night back in yours.

By the time you were a teenager, the pain of leaving your closest friends had been reduced to a dull ache in your heart. You knew you’d see them again. By then, you didn’t even have to wait for your fathers’ business trips, because for your thirteenth birthday you’d been given a horse, your father allowing you to ride there any day you pleased— so long as all your lessons where completed with your private tutor— insisting one of the boys accompanied you home before dark.

It was always Kaeya who brought you back, so eager at the first chance he’d practically volunteered himself before you’d finished the explanation of your father’s conditions. And you’d been grateful for the extra time with him, sometimes racing each other through the winding woods that lay in between your home and his as your laughter and playful taunts echoed through the trees.

It had always been Kaeya, in so many ways.

It had always been Kaeya who was so excited to play with you when your father dropped you off, even if just for a few hours while he and Crepus disappeared off to one of the private meeting rooms to discuss more business.

It had always been Kaeya who let you choose the games, who would be enthusiastic whether you were playing war or house or hide and seek.

It had always been Kaeya who held your hand when you got sad, squeezed it a little as he told you not to cry, that you’d see each other again soon.

It had always been Kaeya who wrote to you during the winter months when you’d become snowed in, neither of you able to travel the miles it took to see each other let alone get much further than the front door.

And it wasn’t that Diluc was forgotten. But he’d never been as willing to play along.

For a little while, the three of you had been an even trio, the boys happy to have a new playmate and you, well, you had no siblings of your own back home. You were just happy not to be alone. But as time went on, the scales shifted.

No matter what you wanted to do, Kaeya was always on board. Diluc would argue, say he’d rather sneak out to the back woods that lined the edge of the property and play manhunt or adventurer than sit around wasting time doing stupid arts and crafts projects or dressing up in ridiculous outfits in order to make each other laugh.

You’d start to get upset as the two brothers would fight, Kaeya calling Diluc selfish while Diluc insisted Kaeya was just a pushover.

“It’s all because you like her!” the young Ragnvindr would spit, clearly trying to rile Kaeya. “That’s why you’re always doing whatever she wants, even if it’s stupid and boring!” That was about the time Kaeya would lunge at his brother, the two of them tackling each other to the ground and throwing flailing punches while you yelled at them not to fight, your eyes welling with tears.

In the end, Diluc would storm off and go do whatever he did when he was alone, maybe just sulk in his room for all you knew, but Kaeya would never chase after him. He’d come back to you, assure you that his brother was the boring one for always wanting to play the same games, and then hold your hand and help wipe your tears, giving you a smile as he told you he’d sneak into his father’s study to steal some of the new paints that had recently arrived, maybe snag an old canvas or two he didn’t think the master of the house would notice missing.

You’d smile and hug him, even join him in getting into trouble sometimes, and then it was like all your worries faded away. Because there was something about Kaeya, about being around him, that always helped untangle any knots that had formed in your heart.

But your most favorite thing to do with Kaeya— not that you didn’t love the games and the giggles and the mischief you shared— was to sneak out his window on the second floor and climb up onto the roof with him where you’d both lay side by side, hand in hand, and look up at the stars.

You’d get scared sleeping alone and inevitably pitter-patter your way to his room, giving a gentle tap on his door before cracking it open with a broken whisper of his name on your lips. He’d sit upright in bed, flipping the layers of blankets back and padding his little feet across the floor to come meet you, reminding you there was nothing to be afraid of.

He’d told you that the dark was not an enemy, that it could be beautiful and inviting and that he’d show you how.

The star gazing in itself eventually became a game, as most mundane between you two often did, and you’d gradually begin to cheer up as you and him took turns creating shapes in the stars and trying to guess the constellations that floated above your heads.

Kaeya’s favorite was the peacock— one he’d made up and had quite the time trying to get you to form the shape of as he directed your eyes to all the little twinkling dots of light in the correct order— and once you saw it you hummed to yourself. It suited him, and when you told him this around the third time he pointed it out he’d just rolled his eyes and smirked, coyly suggesting you were jealous he’d found such a cool grouping of stars.

But what you didn’t know was that, as much as the peacock reminded you of your friend, the grandiose bird also began to remind Kaeya of you, too.

The peacock soon made its way into his letters, a carefully drawn eyespot feather in indigo ink signed at the bottom of every message. It made you smile to yourself, your heart full and lonely at the same time.

It was Kaeya’s way of saying “I love you. I want you to never forget that, just like I never forgot the night I showed you the peacock in the sky.” But if you were aware of the symbol’s significance, you didn’t seem to return the favor when you sent a reply.

How could you, when you’d convinced yourself he would never think of you that way? When he’d treat you like a little sister one day only to perform something common of courtship the next?

Kaeya was reluctantly sentimental. Perhaps that was a side effect of being abandoned by his birth father at such a young age, a bitter lesson to never get too attached to anything or anyone in fear of losing them. But he couldn’t help how attached he’d become to you.

In some ways, you two had felt more like siblings than he and Diluc did, for a while.

You used to wish Kaeya was your real brother. That way you two would forever be bonded, no matter how great the distance or time between you. But as you entered into your teenage years, your heart and your mind changing along with your body, something about that notion began to shift and evolve as well.

By the time you were sixteen, Kaeya’s playful flirtations and cheeky winks felt like they held more weight than before. Because your immediate reaction wasn’t to roll your eyes or slap his arm like it had been in previous years. Now, those gestures made your ears run hot and your hummingbird heart bat its wings a little faster. But you could never quite tell if he was joking or not, perhaps just being mischievously mean to get a reaction out of you which, as he’d learned pretty early on, wasn’t that hard to do.

But sometimes, when you replayed his words or actions in your head when you were alone— the way his voice dipped lower, tone smooth and tempting as his eyes scanned your body, his fingers brushing against yours during dinner time or as he handed you a book from a high shelf you couldn’t reach— you asked yourself why you weren’t willing to play this game with him, if that’s all it really was.

Deep down you knew it must be. Because, if you did decide to join in, it might cease to be a game altogether. At least, for you it would. And then what if you found out he’d been joking all along? It would break your heart. It would ruin everything. It was a risk you weren’t willing to take.

So you held your tongue and clenched your jaw when your best friend, adopted brother, star-crossed lover in a different life— whatever Kaeya was to you— gave you those winks when no one else was watching. When he came up behind you and stood just a little too close, said something about how, pretty soon, he’d be a whole head taller than you…

And on slow, quiet days as rain poured from the sky and dark clouds flooded the valley and you both found yourselves huddled on the chaise by the fireplace when you read your book aloud and Kaeya listened like he only cared about the sound of your voice and not the story, as he combed his lithe fingers gently through your hair, smoothing out the tangles while you entertained him— and sometimes even Diluc, if he had nothing better to do— with tales of dragons and knights, talking animals and princesses who wielded silver swords…

You told yourself all of it— every word and glance and ghosting touch— meant absolutely nothing.

It was all for the sake of ensuring Kaeya stayed in your life, just as he’d always been, after all.

How ironic your feeble attempt at control became because of one fateful, unforgivable night.

†††

You’d heard the news from Diluc, of all people— the news that Crepus Ragnvindr was dead and Kaeya Alberich was nowhere to be found.

Though, Kaeya had been found eventually, slumped over in a bar tucked away in some alley, drinking himself stupid as he gazed deep into the miniature snowstorm that swirled within the cryo vision clutched in his palm. But even as his speech slurred and his movements lagged and staggered, he refused to come back home.

Eventually, those who’d been sent to fetch their deceased master’s adopted son gave up. They left the tavern and headed back to report their findings to Diluc, who continued to turn a cold shoulder and act as if he wasn’t worried or bothered about his brother’s well-being in the slightest.

So when he’d told you, his tone stiff and cruel and spiteful, you’d found yourself crying before your brain even had time to process what had just been said.

“Where is he now?” you’d asked, your voice cracking as you tried to clear the heartbreak away.

“If he’s not still drowning his sorrows, well…” Diluc sneered, already turning his back on you and heading into the house that you’d known as well as your own— the house you now might never see the inside of ever again— all that remained being the shadows of your memories left flickering on the walls by the candlelight or echoing eerily down the long hallways late at night. “Then I have no idea where he is.”

However, his long red hair, usually kept so orderly but rather disheveled at the moment, and the dark circles under his crimson eyes told a different story as to how Diluc was dealing with his missing brother.

Your mouth opened to ask what the bar was called, at least, but all that was able to leave your mouth before the door slammed in your face was a broken squeak. From there, you rode into the city, spent nearly the entire night hopping from one bar to the next only in hopes of catching a glimpse of all that navy hair or hearing a burst of that confident laughter.

By the time morning came and your search had yielded nothing other than a widening in the hollow carved out in your chest and the dizziness of the sleepless night, you had no choice but to call it quits. You wrote to Kaeya the moment you returned home, the letter not even making it into the envelope before you finally collapsed into bed. It was a simple message, but direct enough.

Kaeya, it read in your curling scrawl, though this time a little messier on account of the exhaustion. Please, tell me what happened? Where have you gone? I need to see you.

About a week later, when his reply came, your heart nearly lept out of your throat, your eager, shaking hands tearing the gold envelope with your name printed perfectly across it to shreds, letting the scraps of paper fall to the floor around your feet.

Your eyes watered upon seeing his handwriting again. You could hear his voice as you quickly scanned the page, a narration that had once been so enthusiastic and charming now turned regretful and hesitant.

But Kaeya did tell you what happened, both about Crepus Ragnvindr and the arrival of his Vision. When you reached the end of the explanation, however, you began to panic. Because you were sure there had to be more than that. He would’ve told you where he’d gone, wouldn’t he? He would’ve said he was coming to you, that he’d be arriving by the following afternoon.

But there were no words left, only the frayed edge of the parchment’s end.

There wasn’t even the signing of his name, always so beautiful and poetic in his elegant, looping cursive.

There was only a shaky drawing of a peacock feather, the ink smudged at the edge of the eyespot like Kaeya hadn’t been patient enough to let it dry before sending it.

†††

It had been nearly four years since you left the nation of Mondstadt.

Four years since you applied for and got accepted into one of the top universities in Liyue, moving to the nation of contracts and Mora and ore, now only returning to your home territory for a prestigious research project you still couldn’t believe you got approved onto the small team of.

Four years since hearing from the boy you’d grown up with, loved, and then lost.

You stood before the city’s high walls and felt that familiar breeze weaving through your hair, the warm summer air being drawn shakily into your lungs as you took one, long inhale, then exhaled the remnants of your past back out to be carried across the rolling hills on the wind. You forced yourself to step past the Knights guarding the front entrance, hoping to hide your reservations at being back in your homeland while your two eager and excited classmates pointed out unfamiliar and interesting things to each other a little ways ahead of you.

They were Liyue born and raised and had taken you under their wing when you’d been the stranger in a new city, all wide-eyed and anxiously hopeful. You wished you could return the favor in being their personal tour guide, but it’s just that the ache you thought you’d left behind after departing from the city of Freedom is back and it hurts, pulsing between your ribs and making it a little harder to breathe through the season’s humidity.

But it’s the beginning of June, the sky a clear and nearly cloudless blue. The birds are chirping from the eaves of the houses and the cobblestone is sure and strong under your feet, familiar smells drifting out from the Good Hunter restaurant beckoning you in for some of your childhood favorites. Perhaps that would make you feel better.

But, then again, it’s also possible that it could make you feel much, much worse.

“You never told us how lively it was!” one of your classmates, Haoyu, calls back to you. You give him a weak smile and continue with your steady pace.

“Yeah, or how many cute boys live in Mondstadt,” your other friend, Fenhua, slyly remarks as she eyes a trio of Knights strolling by.

“I can’t believe we get to spend the whole summer here,” Haoyu goes on, turning in circles as he gazes up at all the architecture that touches the sky. Then he gives you a mischievous look as he teasingly asks, “First night out is on you, right?”

You scoff as your lips pull up into a crooked smirk. “Yeah, you wish,” you reply.

Fenhua gives Haoyu a nudge and reminds him jokingly, “So much for all that talk about your family owning one of the ports. What, were you overcompensating for secretly being bankrupt or something?”

The two of them bicker and banter back and forth until Fenhua is laughing, but the details of their conversation fade into the busy sounds of the city as your memories fill in the gaps.

You still remember how it used to feel running these streets beside Kaeya and Diluc. It was rare that your fathers let you come here, always so strict about keeping their heirs protected and secure behind the iron wrought gates of their looming estates. But, every once in a while, you were able to convince one of the caretakers who had been put in charge of watching you three for the day to let you accompany her into the city.

You’d all pressed your noses to the shop windows, gazing inside and picking out the object you liked best. Kaeya always had the most expensive taste. You and Diluc used to tease him for it, always guessing which one he’d choose based on what seemed to cost the most Mora.

“Don’t be mad that I can spot luxury just by looking at it,” Kaeya used to defend with his nose up in the air, arms crossed over his chest. “It’s not my fault I enjoy nice things.”

Diluc would tease his brother for it, say he ought to be more humble once in a while, but you’d usually just end up agreeing with Kaeya. The ring or scarf or shoes he’d pointed out as his favorite was usually to your liking too, though you’d never considered yourself confident or flashy enough to pull them off. Kaeya valued beauty over practicality while Diluc liked something simple that could serve its purpose.

You supposed you were somewhere in the middle.

And, maybe, as you were now leisurely pacing the streets, you’d been hoping to catch a glimpse of that flowing, navy hair out of the corner of your eye, hear that devilish chuckle echoing down the alleys. For all you knew, Kaeya didn’t even live anywhere near Mondstadt anymore. Perhaps that would make it easier for you to stay the season here, if only you had a way to confirm it.

But then, something made you stop in your tracks. As two more Knights passed by you and your curious classmates, you glanced over your shoulder, eager to catch what you could of their conversation…

“…Cavalry Captain is always trying to get others to do his work for him,” one grumbled. “I swear, he really thinks he gets a pass just because of his looks.”

“Aww, don’t be jealous,” the other Knight teased his colleague. “Besides, you can’t tell me that if you weren’t as attractive as Kaeya you wouldn’t use it to your advantage too.”

You felt like your blood had turned to ice, veins frosted over from your head to your toes, numbing your fingertips as you just stood in the middle of the street, your friends traveling a little ways ahead of you until they turned and realized you’d lagged behind.

“Hey!” Haoyu called, tugging you back to reality. But it isn’t until you felt a hand lightly resting on your arm that you broke from your wide eyed, seemingly terrified trance and saw they’d both returned to your side. “What’s up? Everything ok?” he asked, looking a little concerned while Fenhua looked dangerously intrigued.

“Oh, yeah…” you nervously giggled, turning to face them and urging them to follow as you slowly made your way further down the street. “I thought I forgot something important back in Liyue but I remembered I have it now. I’m good.”

The rest of the day was spent trying to act like you hadn’t heard the name you’d been trying so hard to let go of.

But now you know.

Kaeya Alberich was not only still in Mondstadt, but the Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius.

Maybe it’s a different Kaeya, you spent the remainder of the week trying to convince yourself.

But you know it’s not a different Kaeya.

Kaeya is a rarity.

A one of a kind.

You’ve never met another him and you probably never will.

So the question then becomes, over the years, had he met another you?

†††

The research project keeps you busy and focused…

Until it doesn’t.

June has come and gone and now the saplings of late spring have turned to the blossoms of early July, decorating the trees with pale lilacs and pinks, the air a little thicker, the sun burning a little hotter as it beams down on you, beading sweat on your brow as you and your classmates work day after day to study, log, and produce results for what could potentially be a very big door into all your futures.

You’re up late one night, jotting down a few more notes and trying not to smudge the ink as you struggle to read Haoyu’s jagged scrawl and compare techniques. You keep trying to stay centered and present, replaying the day’s work in your mind to accurately contribute to the project, but every time you go to put pen to paper, his face pops into your head and makes the sharp nib hover over the parchment, the unwritten words captured in the ink desperate to be recorded but denied again and again.

You’ve wondered whether you should reach out to Kaeya or not.

Did he know you were back? If he did, would he even care? Were you overthinking all of this?

Well, at least you knew the answer to the last of those questions, which was absolutely.

But how could you not? You could only assume, with the way things had ended, or rather, faded away, that he had no interest in contacting you. He’d had these past four years to do so and you hadn’t seen a single peacock feather in all that time.

Maybe he hated you.

But why would he? You’d done nothing wrong.

But what if he did? What if he hated you?

You let the pen fall from your hands, tiny blotches of ink that had been knocked loose freckling the page of your notes, and let out an exasperated sigh as you leaned back in your chair, slumping and turning your face up to the ceiling, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to rid his image from your mind.

You wanted to cry. You wanted to go to him. You wished you’d never come back to this city. You’ve been dying to see him. You were so mad at him for torturing you like this. You just wanted to see him smile at you again like he did back when everything was alright. You wanted to hit him. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted a drink, a distraction, anything to still your mind for a little while.

So when Fenhua came scampering into the room a little while later with the proposal that the three of you get out for a bit and have some fun because all this damn research was starting to make all of you slowly go insane, you were grateful for the invitation.

As you approached the Angel’s Share, hanging in the back of your trio, always the quiet, observant one of your pack, you felt a familiar feeling. It wasn’t quite dread, but it wasn’t quite excitement either.

It was more like anticipation.

Something was going to happen tonight, here, at this place.

You just didn’t know whether you wanted to be brave enough to step through the tavern doors and figure out what it was.

But it seemed you didn’t have much of a choice as Fenhua and Haoyu looped their arms through each of yours, guiding you inside with them, clearly sensing you needed the support.

The moment the door swung open, the jumbled noise of constant, lively chatter along with the clinking of glasses and boisterous shouts flooded the air around you, drawing you in. And soon, to your relief, you found that maybe anticipation didn’t always warn of something bad, but instead hinted that something good was on its way. Because, as you took a seat between your two friends at the bar, you found yourself smiling and laughing without even having to fake it anymore.

You made a toast to all your hard work so far, and to all the work that was still to come, may the Archons bless it to go smoothly. About an hour in, you felt lighter, warmer, and, with the help of some of that liquid courage flowing through your veins, a little more confident.

“Hey, I’ll be right back!” you shouted to Fenhua who, despite being right next to you, still might not’ve even heard you over the ever growing rowdiness, each passing hour bringing with it more lively patrons.

You turned and slid off the barstool, heading for the tiny bathroom where the line had finally shortened, leaning against the nook in the wall while waiting for the current occupant to exit and gazing out at the mass of moving people in a daze when you finally caught it— a glimpse of all that navy hair, the charming chuckle of a man blessed with good fortune and even better looks cutting through the noise of the packed crowd.

You and Kaeya locked eyes from across the room and then neither of you were smiling anymore. But Kaeya never let any surprise he felt show for too long, remedying his sudden shock with a small smirk while your heart continued to pound. You hadn’t even realized you’d been holding your breath until the tightness in your lungs turned into a dull ache, reminding you to exhale the air you’d been halfway to sucking down before the sight of him suffocated you.

The bathroom door opened behind you, the exiting occupant nudging your shoulder slightly and giving a startled apology. You turned your head to face her for but a second, jostled by the unexpected contact, and uttered a quiet, “It’s fine,” as she squeezed past you in the short, narrow hallway and back into all the hubbub of the bar.

When you turned back to train your eyes where Kaeya had just been, he was gone, as elusive as a ghost as he carefully slinked through the maze of people and disappeared.

You stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind you, just standing there for what felt like forever until you were finally able to calm down enough to think.

Maybe it had been your imagination. Between all the late nights and stress and the alcohol, your brain could just be manifesting things to trick you.

You blinked hard, trying to rid the view of him from your thoughts.

He looked the same, but also different. You could’ve sworn he’d had something over one of his eyes. The Kaeya you remembered had periwinkle eyes— two of them— and had still looked a bit like a boy the last time you’d seen him. The person you’d just glimpsed was a man, his stature tall and lean and lithe, shoulders broad and arms strong.

Four years is a long time, a little voice in your head reminded you. You’ve changed a lot too.

Once you crept out from the bathroom, seeing the line having once again grown to stretch down the perimeter of the wall, you began to take a step back towards the direction of your friends but stopped mid-stride.

You couldn’t go back to them. Not like this, when you felt like you didn’t know up from down or left from right or fear from longing.

So, instead, you turned and headed towards the staircase, finding the second floor significantly less claustrophobic, and made your way to the balcony, which you were relieved to find empty.

You leaned against the railing, iron digging into your elbows as the steady breeze sent strands of your hair into your eyes. You hung your head, slumping further over the balcony, and let out a long, deep sigh.

It all seemed like a mistake— Kaeya and Diluc’s fight, Kaeya’s final letter to you, you going off to Liyue, Kaeya not reaching out, you not reaching out, you coming back to the one place you knew you’d secretly been avoiding, thinking about him nonstop, coming to this bar, seeing him here, running away— every last decision or event that had occurred in the last four years suddenly running through your head like a sped up film reel, the images making you dizzy, little bursts of stars spotting your vision when you tipped your head back up to the sky.

You felt the threat of oncoming tears as the memories kept flooding through you— the smiling, laughing face of an eight-year-old Kaeya, you trying to stifle your own giggles while Diluc looked more than displeased— the sparkling, periwinkle eyes of a twelve-year-old Kaeya as he lay next to you on the roof, pointing out shapes in the stars, finding his beloved peacock constellation and giving a smirk of satisfaction when you told him it suited him— the smooth, charming words of a fifteen-year-old Kaeya who leaned up against the wall as he looked at you, teasing that he was getting taller than you by the day, holding something just out of your reach as you jumped to try and grab it, scolding him to knock it off but laughing nonetheless— and, finally, an eighteen-year-old Kaeya, riding next to you through the woods, both of you urging your horses to gallop faster and faster as you raced between the trees, your shouts and taunts and laughter echoing across the land until he inevitably beat you and you broke out into the valley on the other side, already having rehearsed some excuse about how you would’ve won if only he hadn’t cheated or caught you off guard.

That might’ve been the last good memory you had of him— that afternoon with your horses, just passing time until the storm rolling overhead caught up with you— the last good memory you had before you were forced to imagine him distraught, just having lost his father for the second time. You envisioned him spilling over with fury as he and Diluc threw fists or crossed blades. You’d heard that’s when he’d gained his Vision, a sudden blast of cryo shooting an icy frost across the battlefield between him and his brother.

You could imagine the look and both their faces— Diluc shocked, maybe even a little fearful, eyes pleading not to let this go any further, while Kaeya was stunned, only to launch right back into battle as his ego breathed in the sweet drug of his newfound power, his talents recognized by the gods.

And when Diluc had told you the news, told you about Crepus’s death and Kaeya’s gift from the Archons and, with slamming that door in your face, greatly inferring that no more good memories would be born under the roof of the Ragnvindr home, that had been the last that you’d seen of him, too.

It was sort of funny.

With them, there had once been so many beautiful beginnings.

But now, all you could seem to grasp onto was the heartbreaking endings.

You felt your body tense as the balcony doors swung open and then closed, the quiet swoosh and click bringing a wave of annoyance over you. 

Was there nowhere you were allowed to be alone in this place? You ought to turn and give whoever had just walked out a glare sharp enough to send them staggering back a few steps, maybe reconsider where they sought out their own sliver of peace and quiet. But before you could so much as glance over your shoulder, the voice interrupted your agitation like a light cutting through the dark.

“Hey…” It was the first rays of dawn splitting through the velvety night on the horizon, chasing the stars away until the moon returned to reclaim the sky. “I thought that was you.”

Your heart was quicker to accept the truth than your brain was, your bones drawn instinctually towards that smooth, sly tone like a moth to a flame. You didn’t want to go, knew if you got too close your delicate wings would catch fire and you’d be reduced to death and ash, but alas, you drifted towards the light, blinded by your yearning to touch it, addicted.

“It’s been a while,” Kaeya greeted you with that charming smile, giving a hesitant wave. “How’ve ya been?”

You could only gawk at him for a while, eyes scanning his entire being as if speaking to the figure before you was some kind of trap, some kind of test, like if you didn’t make sure he was the real thing and lent your voice to his ears you’d be cast into the abyss forever.

And while he felt the same, what you’d thought before had been right. The Kaeya currently standing before you did indeed look different than you remembered.

His skin was still that same warm, honey brown shade, his hair still sleek and navy though worn much longer than you’d ever seen it before, a lock of it cascading over his shoulder and down to his waist. He was taller than you remembered, too, though you supposed he could’ve grown a bit between the age of eighteen and now. His face had lost the last of its boyish softness and in its place was the handsome, chiseled features of a confident young man. And those eyes— those sparkling periwinkle eyes you could’ve gotten lost in if he’d let you stare long enough— were no longer a set of two, but a single one, his right covered with a black eyepatch while the left seemed to gaze upon you apologetically, despite the unbothered, casual stature of his nonchalant stance leaning against the doors with his arms crossed over his chest, one ankle resting over the other.

Your mouth hung open with a million different words to say, the combinations of them endless, but all you could taste was the frantic beating of your heart in your throat, any of the excited reliefs or bitter resentments stirring together in your brain becoming indistinguishable.

Your face suddenly felt too warm, the summer’s refreshing evening atmosphere turning to a stifling humidity as your nerves made it harder to breathe. Your dizziness only increased as Kaeya’s ghost drifted closer, the revenant of your love striding slowly towards you while he continued to speak.

“How long have you been back in the city?” you thought you heard him say, but couldn’t be too sure as your ears were ringing, blood rushing at an alarming rate to your head, vision swaying as you gripped the iron railing of the balcony in a white-knuckled fist behind you. “I would’ve been at the gates to greet you, had I known. I mean, not that you wanted to see me, I just—”

“I’ve been studying in Liyue,” you cut in, only a slight tremble in your voice as you wore a look closer to anger than disbelief now. You cleared your throat, took a steadying breath, then continued, “I’m only back for the summer— for a research project— then I’ll be going back…”

A hint of sadness crossed Kaeya’s face, there and then gone like a cloud of breath fogging in the winter air, and then he grinned at you again, congratulating you on making it into such a prestigious school. “We always knew you were smart,” he remarked, clinking the nearly empty bottle in his hand with a half full one that had been left on the balcony railing, assuming it was yours, cheersing with a stranger’s abandoned drink. He leaned against the railing, his shoulder only inches from yours yet feeling like a world away. He winked and jokingly said, “By the way, next time you see Morax, tell him I said hello.”

Kaeya tipped the final swig of his drink back to his lips, downing the contents and only wincing a little as he swallowed, letting out a quiet exhale as he turned his attention back out to the city he’d continued to make a home out of— the very place you’d been desperate to escape yet now found yourself a willing prisoner in once more.

And the silence that fell over you both then was suffocating. You wanted to say something— anything— so that the final words shared between you two weren’t, “Next time you see Morax, tell him I said hello.”

This could truly be the last chance you got to interact with him. You wanted to take control while you still had a drop of it in your hands, so you dug up some rare bits of courage, cleared the last of the dread from your throat, and asked him, “Why didn’t you try to find me?”

When you and Kaeya met eyes again, both your stares were wide. To be fair, that hadn’t really been what you’d meant to ask. You’d intended to start out with something much less heavy and accusatory like, “So, what have you been up to?” or “I’ve heard you’ve risen up the ranks. What would the Knights of Favonius think if they knew what a little terror their Cavalry Captain had been growing up?”

Anything that brought the rose before the thorn, feeding him soothing honey before you offered up the bitter pill.

But it was too late. The words that had just left your mouth couldn’t be taken back, and the way Kaeya looked at you now made your next breath catch. Because you’d just ruined everything, hadn’t you? You’d been given one last chance and you’d wasted it. And it was all your fault, all your fault, all your fault.

Kaeya let out a small, sad puff of a laugh under his breath, his smirk struggling to stay steady on his lips, and the fear that he’d morph to hate you only grew in your chest, a hungry monster clawing to break free from your ribs, tear through your body, and devour its host mercilessly.

“I suppose I could ask you the same thing,” he responded with a half shrug, swishing his bangs away from his face, exposing more of the eyepatch he used to cover the evidence of some injury hidden underneath.

You felt a stab in your chest when you considered that he could’ve gotten it after his fight with Diluc, the image of the boys who’d basically been your brothers purposely hurting each other beyond repair breaking your heart.

Kaeya sighed then, flashing a sliver of a sly smirk before the expression turned back to being apologetic, concluding his prior statement with, “Though, I think I have a pretty good idea…”

You still couldn’t quite believe that he was standing before you, standing this close, so much the same yet so much so different all at once. You just wanted to look at him, stare at him until the deep emptiness you’d felt for the past four years filled up with the memories of what could’ve been and overflowed.

“You have a right to be mad at me, y’know…” Kaeya continued, hanging his head a bit and unable to look at you as his mouth curved up into a crooked, nervous smile. “If I were you, I’d be mad at me…”

You remembered the time you two were sixteen and had snuck out to the city at night. It was the first time you’d gone unsupervised and the light that glowed from the tavern windows was like a beacon to your first taste of true teenage freedom.

It had been Kaeya’s idea to check out the bar, of course, and even as you protested and told him you’d never get away with it, that he was too recognizable and you looked too young, you had a giddy grin spread across your face, lacing your arm to interlock with his as the two of you approached the humble little establishment.

“The place is packed,” Kaeya had tried to convince you as you both surveyed the crowd inside through the latticed windows. “We’ll just duck in, check it out, maybe find someone willing to buy us a drink, and then be home before anyone even knows we’re gone.”

Right before he’d reached out to open the door for you, you giggled and playfully pulled him back. When he gave you a confused glance you shook your head and said, “If we get caught and have to make a run for it, don’t expect me to wait for you.”

Kaeya’s smile was soft and serene for a moment, as if he found your every man for himself mentality endearing somehow, but then he cracked another one of those signature smirks. “Whatever you say,” he scoffed. “Just remember that I’m a faster runner than you are.”

In the end, you two had been able to convince someone to buy a drink for you— well, technically, they just ordered. Kaeya had bribed them with enough money for a pint for you, him, and an additional round for your willing participant and their small group of friends— and you’d even danced together among the cramped crowd when the band began to play an upbeat jig of a tune. The night had been mischievous, magical, and probably the most fun you’d had in a long time.

Until it wasn’t.

Because Kaeya got a little too tipsy, swearing he could handle a second round, a third, a fourth— swearing that he drank all the time and had the tolerance for it— and then started to get sloppy.

You couldn’t have been gone for more than two minutes, pushing your way to the bar counter to retrieve some water in hopes of remedying Kaeya’s spinning vision, but when you returned to where you’d left him on the edge of the dancefloor, you nearly dropped the full glasses and let them shatter all over the creaky, wooden floors.

Because, although his back was to you, you knew exactly what Kaeya was doing with the girl you’d noticed who’d been giving him doe-eyes all night. Her hand was twined through his silky hair, their lips too close to merely be talking, and when he put his hand on her hip to shift her slightly to the side, you saw head on just how deeply he’d been kissing her.

Back then, you’d been more than mad.

You’d been absolutely furious, blinded by your jealousy and longing and all those complicated, messy feelings you kept contained for the sake of ensuring things between you two were stable.

You’d slammed the glasses on the nearest table, water sloshing over the brims and nearly hitting the chatting patrons standing off to the side— who shot you scathing looks as they stepped away from the puddle that was forming as the liquid dripped off the edge of the furniture— wetting the floor by their feet. Then you’d stormed out, not caring if Kaeya followed you or spent all night trading saliva with some random stranger.

Or, at least, that’s what you’d tried to tell yourself.

Truth was, you’d started crying before the door of the tavern finished closing behind you and then you’d nearly collapsed in the next alley you came across, pressing your hand to your mouth as if that could contain all the sobs that were trying to barrel out, shakily steadying yourself against the cold brick wall and feeling like you were going to be sick.

Less than a minute later though, Kaeya caught up with you, having followed you out the moment he caught a glimpse of your silhouette rushing out the front doors, and immediately began trying to explain what had really happened through heavily slurred words and stumbling strides.

“I swear— She just came onto me! I told ‘er I was drunk— told ‘er I was with somebody but she wouldn’t listen—!” He’d stammered, all the while you stared him down like a wounded animal ready to strike if he got too close, all scrunch-nosed and sharp-glared, jaw clenched and breathing heavily.

You’d wanted to hit him. To scream that you loved him— you did— not some girl who didn’t even know his name or the types of sweets he snuck from the manor kitchen or his favorite shapes found among the stars. You wanted to go home. You wanted to curl up in bed beside him like you did when you were little and still scared of the dark. You wanted him. You wanted him to want you too.

“Just take me home!” You’d cut him off, marching past him out of the alley and back onto the main streets, the cobblestones feeling much more unsteady than you remembered them before.

So, yeah. Back then, you’d been mad. You’d gotten over it eventually, really heard him out and decided to accept his apology the following day when you both were sober and weighed down with the regret that bad decisions tended to leave behind.

But now, when Kaeya acted like four years of silence was worth the same as some one-off, instantaneous occurrence you’d gone through as immature teenagers…

You felt more hollow than anything, similar to the way tossing and turning through several sleepless, anxious nights left you with the sense that you were no longer a living, breathing girl but a ghost searching for the end of its own haunting, the world moving too fast around you as you drifted along and your thoughts rolled lazily through your mind, too exhausted to be bothered anymore.

“I was trying to give you space,” you admitted with a defeated sigh, draping yourself further over the railing to match his forlorn posture. “After everything that happened, I just thought…” 

It came back in quick flashes— Diluc’s scathing, scornful words upon delivering the news of his father’s death and how you’d choked on your tears and sorrow as you rode back home through the woods and the smudged peacock feather used to sign off Kaeya’s final letter to you…

Then you looked over at him and admitted, “I thought you’d come back when you were ready. But the more time that went by…”

Kaeya met your gaze. You still weren’t over the initial shock of the eyepatch. You might never be, if you even got another chance to see him. You looked away again. Holding his stare for too long was like staring into the sun. It left his image burned into your vision even when you closed your eyes and made you ask yourself why you’d taken the risk to steal a glance in the first place. “I dunno… I guess I just thought you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.”

His hand was laying itself over yours on the railing now, a hand you’d seen in nearly every stage of its development— the small, clumsy grasp of a six-year-old as he’d fumbled with little knick-knacks given to him by one of the servants so he wouldn’t have to fight with Diluc over toys— the mischievous fiddling of a curious ten-year-old trying to pick the lock of his father’s home office just to see what lay beyond the heavy wooden doors— the awkward, lanky fingers of a thirteen-year-old learning to grow into the first stages of his adolescent body, how he used to nervously fidget with the sapphire newly pierced through his left ear when he was telling you some story he hoped would impress you— the sure, swift strength of a seventeen-year-old who caught your wrist as you’d tripped over your own feet while walking through the woods, helping you back up and no longer attempting to hide how much he liked seeing you blush upon receiving even the simplest of touches from him.

Now, being in his early twenties, Kaeya’s hands were slender and a little scuffed, knuckles scratched from sparring matches among the Knights and a callus on his middle finger from writing one too many reports, sending messages between nations when the Acting Grand Master became too busy with her end of foreign relations and he had to pick up the slack.

But even so, they were beautiful— nails manicured and skin still soft enough to prove that, despite his title, Kaeya wasn’t in the habit of working too hard.

“There is nothing—” Kaeya began, voice stern and reassuring, “Nothing— that you could ever do that would make me want nothing to do with you.” You could read the guilt scribbled across his face, biting your tongue as you felt the threat of tears prinkling in the back of your nose, a lump forming in your throat that you tried to swallow. “It was never my intention to cut you off…”

Kaeya gave your hand a light squeeze, the small pressure enough to burst the dam sealed off behind your eyes, causing your vision to become blurred as four years worth of uncertainty and sadness sparkled on the rim of your gaze.

“Then why—” you croaked, voice cracking as the tears spilled over, clumping your bottom lashes together in watery spikes, pair after pair of sparkling sorrow racing down your cheeks to meet under your chin. Kaeya didn’t let go of your hand as you began to cry. He only held on a little tighter, lacing his fingers together with yours and making a stifled sob slip past your lips.

“I just thought that you’d be upset with me— that you’d blame me. I mean…” he tried to explain, gently wiping away your next round of tears with the pad of his thumb, tracing a soft line across the apple of your cheek. “You grew up with Diluc, too. I didn’t want to put you in an awkward position with having to pick a side but, well…” Kaeya cracked another one of those apologetic smiles and suddenly you became overwhelmed with the urge to bury your face in his chest, to just let him hold you until you felt whole again. “I guess it’s too late for that.”

You just couldn’t stop crying, the slow drip of a leaking faucet suddenly becoming a pipe burst beyond repair.

Because you’d spent the last four years worrying Kaeya hated you for nothing.

All that pain, all that blame, pent up and pushed down over and over and over again until the glass bottle was ready to crack and splinter and shatter into a million shards of glittering glass dust…

It all seemed to be remedied the moment Kaeya wrapped both his long, lean arms around you, pulling you into his chest and running a hand through your hair, combing his fingers through the tangles created by the summer wind and soothing you with a quiet, whispered coo of, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

You could barely get the words out as you nuzzled your face into his shoulder, shaking your head in miniscule motions as you muttered out a pathetic sounding, “S’ok… I never blamed you—” A hiccuped sob interrupted your forgiveness, but your tears were starting to slow, the deep well they’d collected in nearly running dry. “I don’t even think Diluc blamed you… Not for what happened to—”

“It’s ok,” Kaeya cut in, the blade of his voice sharper than before but dulling by the second, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “It’s ok. Even if he does, that’s not your fault.”

“I know, I just—” One last shuddering exhale before you collected yourself, making the foolish mistake to stare directly back up into the bright star of his one-eyed gaze, though this time you didn’t care if it blinded you. You wouldn’t look away. “I just wish things could’ve ended up differently… For all of us.”

All the times you and Kaeya had caught a shooting star arching across the night sky during one of your celestial rooftop escapades, how many times had you wished for things to stay just as they had been?

How many times had you wished the sun would never rise, that the night would stretch across Teyvat’s vast horizon for the rest of eternity so you and Kaeya could stay laying side by side, hands clasped between you while your free fingers pointed out all kinds of animals and imaginary heroes in the tangled constellations?

Not enough times, apparently. And now it was too late. You could barely even make out the peacock anymore, too many misty clouds drifting in to veil the moon. But there was one thing you knew for certain, and that was, even if you couldn’t go back and rewrite the events of your lives so that you’d never have to spend even a single day apart wondering where in the world the other could’ve gone, you would do anything to not lose Kaeya again. Even if it was just ink and parchment keeping you two connected across cities— across nations— you would take up the pen again and again until you received another eyespot feather in the vibrant teal or aquamarine or violet Kaeya liked to sign his letters with.

“I know…” Kaeya mumbled, resisting the urge to press a chaste kiss to the crown of your head. But then he was pulling back from you, just enough so you could see the flicker of appraising charm forcing itself over his features, and said with a hint of those sly undertones that usually spelled some mix of trouble and fun, “But, you know, while you’re here, I’m sure we have quite the bit of catching up to do. How long are you in Mondstadt, anyhow?”

You blinked away the remaining film of tears glossing over your eyes, gave a weak sniffle, and replied, “Till the end of summer…”

You could tell the grin Kaeya wore next was a real one, not just adopted in the moment for your sake, and after smoothing down your hair and using the edge of his glove to wipe away the last of the salt streaking your face, he said, “Well then… I guess we have a lot of lost time to make up for until then.”

†††

Standing by the fountain in the Mondstadt square, the hiss of flowing water and whistle of the summer breeze creating an intertwining melody over the cobblestone streets, you took your first deep breath in what felt like years.

Well, in some ways, it was. And even though you’d waited this long to reconcile with your childhood friend, it was funny how long a week could feel when you’d spent literal years waiting for something you thought might never come.

But, seeing Kaeya approaching you now, it almost made it feel like no time had passed at all.

Because he was giving you that charming, mischievous smile, tossing up a coin and catching it, the glint of shimmering gold flying higher and higher above his head with every new throw, and making your heart flutter with every step closer to you he took.

“I haven’t kept you waiting long, I hope?” Kaeya’s question lilted with melodic smoothness, stopping before you with the gold Mora coin pinched between his fingers.

You smiled, shook your head, and replied, “Not at all. Plus,” you winked, leaning in a little closer as if telling a secret, your past self returning to you for a moment, the way you’d often become absorbed in Kaeya’s own scheming behavior if you spent a little too much time around him, “if you would’ve kept me waiting, I still remember the way to all your favorite taverns.”

Kaeya looked surprised for a moment, then softened as a giggle bubbled past his lips, his shoulders shaking with mirth. “Well, in that case…” He held his arm out to you, his elbow bent so you could loop your arm with his, and as soon as you took the invitation, he began to walk with you. “I guess we should get going before I end up passed out drunk in an alley somewhere.”

And things seemed perfect as you two strolled along under a clear, sunny sky— almost too good to be true. And wasn’t it always when you were blinded by joy that the parasites of doubt began to gnaw at your insides? To burrow their way deeper into your heart and inject poison into your veins?

Because, even as Kaeya complained about working for the Knights and rambled on about the best new bakery in town, the smile that had sat so easy and natural on your face slowly began to become strained, forced.

Because this, too, would end.

This moment, right here, right now, with him…

It would all become a memory once you returned to Liyue, faded and frayed around the edges the more time you spent away.

“—But you’ll just have to wait to try it once we get there.”

You blinked back into reality, glancing up at Kaeya with minor confusion and asking, “What? Get where?”

Kaeya smirked, finding pleasure in keeping you at least a little in the dark, so long as the end result would make you smile. “Heh… Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” he teased, giving your shoulder a soft nudge with his own.

“No fair…” you lightly protested, puffing out a weak chuckle. Then you said, “You really haven’t changed, y’know. You used to keep secrets from me all the time when we were kids…” Now it was your turn to nudge him, harder than he’d nudged you, and soon you found yourself wearing a devious expression as you remarked, “You’re such a bully!”

“Am not!” Kaeya defended, laughing as he knocked some more of his weight into you and nearly caused you both to topple over. “Besides, it’s not keeping secrets! It’s surprising you.” He stuck his nose up in the air, going from goofy to regal in two seconds flat, another habit of his you remembered from back in the day.

It used to drive you crazy, how easily he could recover from a fit of laughter or straighten his posture after scrambling away from one of his schemes— how you’d always be the one to give things away because you could never compose yourself on command like that— but now, you found it endearing. It was unexpectedly familiar. Comforting. It helped settle all the doubts swimming around inside of you for a bit, at least.

“Oh, c’mon!” You begged playfully, pouting and pulling on his arm. “Just tell me!”

“Seems you haven’t changed much either.” Kaeya lowered his voice to something a little more serious, some melancholy longing slipping through. When you gazed up at him that time, you saw the shift with your own two eyes, the way he looked so pained one second only to mask it with playfulness the next. He reached over and pinched your ear with his free hand and declared through a chuckle, “You never were the most patient!”

“Hey!” You scolded through a poorly concealed laugh, swatting him away. “That’s not fair when you were always telling me things like ‘you’ll see’!” You mocked the quote in a deeper voice, as if it sounded anything like the warm, smooth, honey-sweet tone of Kaeya’s vocals. “Admit it! You liked to torture me with the suspense!”

Then you were both laughing, stumbling down the streets with your arms still interlocked as you reflected on a few more fond memories from your childhoods together. You unearthed stories he’d nearly forgotten while Kaeya teased you about embarrassing moments you wished he would forget.

But then the mood began to wither, all the petals of your bright, blooming banter plucked from the flower of your childhoods one by one until all that was left was the thorny stem.

“I’m sorry…” you apologized, trying to swallow the uncomfortable lump forming in your throat. “For what happened— to your family and to you. I’m just… I’m sorry. I should’ve—”

“Don’t—” Kaeya cut in, his voice quiet. Fragile. Like a star made of blown glass. Yet still his words contained the power to draw blood if the shattered shards were touched. His throat bobbed with a particularly hard swallow— he wanted to spare you his tears— and after clearing his throat, he concluded with, “It’s fine.”

“But I—”

“It’s not your fault!” Kaeya snapped, raising his voice over yours, then immediately kicked himself, sighing out a frustrated exhale before remedying his outburst with a kinder, “It’s not your fault, ok? It’s just…” He hesitated, searching for the right words to say. Then he shrugged, grasping your hand and giving it a slight squeeze. “It’s just the way things turned out.”

You realized then, as Kaeya forced himself to give you a smile, how you must look when you tried to fake the same emotions to him.

No matter how hard either of you tried to hide your feelings, to keep secrets, to lie…

The other would always know.

It was a part of your relationship that had never had its sharp edge dulled, never lost the saturation of its vivid color.

It was a side effect of being connected by the stars, the irony that the celestial plane had placed upon two soulmates.

So, if you couldn’t lie, the next best thing was to create a new truth.

You squeezed Kaeya’s hand back, gave him a crooked grin, and said, “Maybe we’ve both been holding onto the past… Maybe, even just for today, we should focus on the present.”

The curl of Kaeya’s palm around yours felt like coming home. Because, though Kaeya’s hands had changed from the last time you’d touched them— gotten bigger, stronger, colder— they still held onto you like you were something he wanted to protect.

“C’mon…” Kaeya nodded towards a nearby alley, the vaguely familiar crookedness of it sending a flash of a spontaneous escape route while trying to evade your chaperone through your memory. “For old times’ sake… Plus…” You started down the narrow alley with him, the sounds of both your laughter and shouts echoing through your brain like the ghosts you’d almost forgotten as your feet tapped over the cracked cobblestones. “This is the shortcut to the scenic route.”

†††

The romantic little row boat rocked upon gentle waves at the end of the dock, waiting for you and Kaeya to board it and drift out to one of the private islands in the middle of Cider Lake.

There was a picnic waiting for you there when you arrived and he’d packed all of your old favorites along with some new treats from that bakery he’d been trying to tell you about earlier. You could tell how much care he’d put into preparing it and found yourself a little taken aback considering this was your first real time together since reconnecting.

You know, aside from when you sobbed into his shoulder on the balcony of the Angel’s Share.

So, as you two enjoyed lunch together, talking and laughing and catching up, you did, for once, allow yourself to enjoy the present.

However, as the sun arched across the sky and the first golds and lilacs of sunset began to blush the horizon, the energy started to shift. Not necessarily in a bad way, but more so in a bittersweet way. Because you two could’ve shared so many more smiles, stories, touches, and tender gazes if only you hadn’t been separated by time.

If only, if only, if only, if only…

If only you’d allowed yourself to fall for him sooner.

If only you’d been brave enough to tell him how you’d really felt.

If only he would’ve told you how he really felt.

If only one of you would’ve reached out during all that time.

If only.

“What…?” you asked in a dream-like daze, laying out on your stomach across from Kaeya on the picnic blanket and gazing into his periwinkle eyes— well, the one that was left visible to you, at least.

You were still getting used to that, but the more you looked at him, the more you thought the eyepatch suited him. You could already imagine all the outrageous stories he’d made up when people asked him why he wore it or what was underneath. It made another tired giggle hum in your chest.

“Nothing…” Kaeya stalled, caught in the same dreamy state as you, his eye tracing all the features of your face. Unlike him, you still looked the same. Just a little bit older, a little more tired on account of all the late nights this current research project was demanding from you, your hair a little different, but your eyes and your smile…

To him, those would always be just like he remembered.

“It’s something…” Your voice was nearly a whisper, only speaking loud enough to be heard over the breeze, your feet kicking lazily behind you, Kaeya’s face only inches from yours. You outstretched one arm, lowered your head to rest your cheek on your shoulder, and stared up at him through your lashes. “You can’t lie to me…” You reminded him with a sated smile. “I always know.”

Kaeya let out a breathy chuckle, mimicking your relaxed posture and allowing himself to sink closer to the earth, the plush grass underneath felt through the blue and white checkered picnic blanket. He placed his hand on top of yours, gently rubbing his thumb along your soft skin, his voice growing even quieter, as if admitting what he was about to say next too loudly would wake him from the serene dream he was starting to believe this was.

He said, “It’s a secret,” which only made you roll your eyes and let out a cynical sigh, pushing off from the ground to sit back up, Kaeya following suit.

“Fine then,” you teased, nose up in the air as you shot him a playfully devious side glance, trying to hide a smile. “Don’t tell me. I’ll figure it out on my own sooner or later.”

Kaeya chuckled. “Oh, you will, will you?”

“Of course I will,” you continued, now absentmindedly playing with a stray thread on the hem of one of the quilted stitches. “And even if I don’t, you’ll tell me eventually. You can’t stand to be the only one in on something.”

Kaeya let out a hearty laugh, one that made you wish you could spend every day like this, with him, skirting on the edge of arguments and making harmless jokes and pulling on each other’s strings in just the right ways.

Just the way you used to.

Just the way you used to…

“Well which is it?” Kaeya continued to tease. “Do you want to figure it out on your own or do you want me to tell you?”

You picked up one of the lingering blueberries left in the basket and tossed it at him. “I want you to tell me.” You grinned as Kaeya caught it, tossing it back at you only for it to bounce away into the grass somewhere.

“Alright then,” Kaeya finally yielded with a resolute nod. “But you’ll have to come closer. It is a secret, after all.”

You scooted closer, leaning in with one ear as if you really expected him to whisper it to you. But then, after his silence stretched on for one moment too long, you looked back to him, your faces closer than they’d been since you two had snuggled up in his bed on a stormy night as children.

You felt your breath catch, unable to tear your stare away from his eye as if all the secrets of the universe were contained within that small pool of periwinkle, and as Kaeya’s hand reached forward to gently cup your cheek, weaving his fingers into your hair, you closed your eyes.

How long had you waited for this? Wanted this? Dreamt of it?

How many nights had you mourned a kiss that would never come as you stared over all the glittering lights that shimmered along every path in Liyue, wondering if you’d ever come close to feeling the way you’d felt about Kaeya with anyone else?

As his lips touched yours, everything else faded away— all the fear and the doubt and the past and the future.

There was only right here, right now, as if this single moment was all you’d ever lived in, all you’d ever known.

And Kaeya was so tender with you, so gentle and caring. Considering how long he’d also been waiting for this, wanting it, dreaming of it, it was a miracle he hadn’t ruined the moment and kissed you the very second you two stepped off the boat and onto the grassy shore, not stopping until it got so late that someone else sailed out searching for the missing Cavalry Captain.

The moment he broke away, the eternal bliss that had just filled you was stolen quicker than a wave pulling back from the shore, and you wove your fingers through his hair, using that as an anchor to keep you two close, tugging him in a little to press your forehead against his, any kind of contact that would make you feel like that wasn’t the first and the last, a silent pleading to hold on and never let go.

“Sorry…” Kaeya nervously whispered through a crooked smile, his eyes closed and careful hand moving to rest on the back of your neck, not wanting to let go either.

In return, you whispered, “Sorry for what?”

Kaeya let out a shuddering sigh, reluctantly pulled away a few inches so he could look you in the eyes. He searched your face for something— some kind of anger or sorrow or hesitation— anything to make the fact that you couldn’t stay easier on him.

But all he could scavenge from your loving, gentle expression was that none of this was ever meant to be easy. Because easy things were fleeting.

It was the hard things— the things you fought for— that ended up sticking around the longest.

It was the things you decided to grab and hold onto even through the thrashing and the clawing and whatever other odds that tried to cause you to give up and let go that you could truly call your own.

So he kissed you again, this time with a little more urgency, a little more passion, as if that was the only response that could accurately express whatever answer he could’ve spoken with words.

He was right when he’d said you two had a lot of lost time to make up for.

This seemed like a good place to start.

†††

Over the coming weeks, the city of Mondstadt had never seemed so small to you before in your entire life.

The once uncharted and mysterious alleys that winded between the buildings were now secret passageways and shortcuts to you. The rising levels of brick and stone that loomed and casted shadows big enough to swallow you whole were now a view of Kaeya’s office from the headquarters of the Knights or the windows of some foreign leader’s favorite hotel suite.

Because, despite the fact the city still may have looked the same on the surface, much had changed in the years you’d been away. Kaeya thought he ought to catch you up, maybe make a guessing game out of it while he was at it too.

“Let’s see…” you pondered, gazing up at some luxury apartment in the distance he’d pointed out to you. “It has a pretty good view, so it must be expensive, aside from its upper level location…” You’d already guessed the vacation homes of Fontaine politicians and Snezhnayan royals, Inazuma CEOs and wealthy Liyue traders. Kaeya had made you guess the residency of someone prominent from nearly every nation in Teyvat at one point or another with the exception of one you should’ve found most obvious in this case. “Wait, don’t tell me… It’s someone from Mondstadt, isn’t it?”

Kaeya gave a smile and a nod, keeping his lips sealed though seeming to struggle the more and more he could sense your wheels turning.

“It’s someone you know personally, isn’t it?” you asked next.

To that, Kaeya gave a conflicted shrug and replied, “I suppose you could say that, yes.”

“It’s the Grand Master of the Knights then— Or maybe the Acting Grand Master?” The two of you continued your lazy stroll through the streets, your hands clasped and on your way to a lunch reservation, which you were going to be late for if this particular game dragged on for much longer.

“Hmm… Close,” Kaeya hinted, and you perked up for a second. Then he said, “But not quite,” and you deflated back into a silent, pouting frustration.

“I give up then,” you resigned, trying to bait him into telling you.

Kaeya gave you a nudge. “No, c’mon, you know it.”

“Archons know what kinds of company you’ve kept over these past four years,” you sarcastically teased. “How am I supposed to guess when I haven’t even met a single one of your friends?”

Kaeya chuckled, amused, only becoming even more so when you frowned and asked him what was so funny. “You know him,” he hinted. That earned him a look caught between confusion and annoyance. “Just think,” he tried to encourage. “If it’s someone that you know, who I also— technically— know, and they’re from this nation…” The pride that settled over his features the moment he saw your eyes light up with the answer was enough to tell you you were right before you even said it.

“No—!” You exclaimed in hushed disbelief, staring at him wide-eyed as if waiting for him to admit he was just messing with you. You glanced from him back to the gilded ivory of the luxury complex then back to him. “So you mean this entire time you were hiding out in some high-rise palace?!” You let out a scoff of incredulous laughter, feeling both slighted and relieved. “And to think,” you added with a certain air of forced pretentiousness as you eyed him slyly, “all these years I was worried you were shivering in a shack somewhere.”

Kaeya let out another burst of laughter and a dramatic response of, “I shiver just imagining living in a shack. You think I would’ve ever allowed myself to end up in such a place?”

The remaining way to the restaurant and throughout the entire afternoon meal as well, the two of you traded more banter and flirtatious glances.

You’d found yourself becoming more comfortable with being on the receiving end of Kaeya’s playful quips or the naughty suggestions he’d whisper in your ear when you two found yourselves nestled within a crowd, always taking pleasure in how flustered you’d become while he remained cool and calm in that easy, calculated way of his, the only evidence of his comment being that sly smirk spread across his lips.

Kaeya was determined to make the most of his time with you— he hadn’t gone to the trouble of rearranging his entire work schedule to match your research hours for nothing. So, at every given chance he would take you out. He’d plan a special surprise. Sometimes, you two would just spend the entire day talking, hours passing like minutes. If you weren’t submerged in research, you were out on the town with what Fenhua and Haoyu had started referring to as your “mysterious suitor”.

As soon as the sky grew dark with the lilacs and violets of night, Kaeya would walk you back home to the quaint little living space you shared with your other two classmates, kissing you on the hand and wishing you a good night and the sweetest of dreams whilst Haoyu and Fenhua watched from the window (less than subtly, you’d noticed on more occasions than not) and began to conjure up a new round of questions and curiosities about who the handsome, one-eyed gentleman really was to you.

Not to mention, how you’d had any time whatsoever to begin a courtship amidst the busy work schedule this research project was trapping you all in.

“So who is he?” Haoyu asked first, unable to contain his nosiness, however harmless it usually was.

“Yeah, and where’d you two meet?” Fenhua would jump in, both of them trailing along behind you as you attempted to retreat to your room to unload your things and take a breather.

“Is he a Knight? I heard you should watch out around those guys,” Haoyu warned. “They get bored with the girls from their own city and latch onto any new face they meet.”

“Oh, but he’s so dreamy, isn’t he?” Fenhua sighed, throwing herself to lay across the end of your bed while you kicked off your shoes and tried to suppress an amused smile. “And don’t listen to Haoyu. I mean, sure, maybe some of the Knights who are on the prowl are a little promiscuous, but if you end up changing your mind about the one you managed to lure in…” She gave you a cheeky wink accompanied by a sly smirk. “Feel free to send him my way.”

Haoyu sat on the other side of Fenhua, rolling his eyes at her and handing you the glass of water you’d left out that morning as you went to reach for it, continuing as you took a sip, “I mean, I’m not trying to sound like I’m—”

“What? Jealous?” Fenhua cut in with a giggle, earning her a sharp nudge in the shoulder from Haoyu.

“What I was trying to say—” Haoyu began again, shaking his head and smirking at his mischievous friend before looking back to you, “—is that I’m not trying to sound like I don’t trust your judgment. It’s just, well… You’ve always been like a little sister to us. We’re protective over you. And you’re so shy most of the time, especially around new people…” Fenhua sat up, taking a slightly more serious stance alongside Haoyu now, nodding along as he spoke. “I’m just wondering why you’ve caught his attention— I mean,” he anxiously remedied, “Ok, that sounded bad. I’m just worried that guy has ulterior motives, know what I mean?”

You set the now empty glass on the bedside table, looking to both your friends with a sense of gratitude, but also a slight twinge of guilt. “Guys,” you began, “I appreciate you always looking out for me, but I didn’t just meet Kaeya.” You paused for a moment, trying to decipher the puzzled looks exchanged between both your friends. “We knew each other when we were kids,” you then clarified, both Haoyu and Fenhua giving a synchronized “oooohh…” of understanding.

You filled them in, explained how you grew up together, pretty much all the way until you were eighteen, but lost touch right before you left to attend university in Liyue.

“We haven’t seen each other in a long time so…” you shrugged, your bashful smile giving you away. “We’ve just been catching up.”

And so came more questions from the two of them, naturally, but as you answered this time— in the moments they both stopped trying to speak over each other and actually lent you a small space of silence to try and address one of their many inquiries— you found yourself being careful about which truths you divulged to them and which ones you wanted to keep for yourself.

Because while the memories of your childhood might’ve been up for grabs when it came to what you were willing to expose, the more intimate details of the recent developments of you and Kaeya’s relationship were under lock and key.

Almost all of your alone time— and, if you were being honest, most of the time meant to be dedicated to your research— was spent thinking about him if you weren’t seeing him. It was spent replaying all the times over these past weeks that Kaeya had held your hand, put his arm around you, pulled you in close, held your face in his palms as you gazed up at him lovingly, kissed you…

Even things that hadn’t yet happened, but you’d very much like to try, if the occasion so arised.

“But you guys have gotta be more than friends, right?” Fenhua pushed, giving you a half-lidded look as if to say, give it up. “I mean, I’ve seen you two walking arm in arm when he drops you off. The guy has kissed your hand—!” She was gesturing wildly now, nearly hitting Haoyu in the face a few times and making him flinch. “We may not be from this city but you can’t tell me that all Mondstadter’s express friendship like that, I mean…”

You admitted that, growing up, Kaeya would harmlessly flirt with you all the time. When asked what you’d do in response, you simply said you’d just scoff and brush him off, tell him to stop teasing, which wasn’t a complete lie. The fact that you were leaving out how you wished he’d just be direct and stop keeping you guessing all the time so you could finally know if you two were more than just friends didn’t make what you’d told them any less true.

“Ok, but did you ever consider,” Haoyu raised, “that maybe he was doing all of that back then because he actually did like you?”

Yes, you thought to yourself, a million times, yes.

But, even now, that made the distance you’d just finally gotten a chance to close all the more painful.

If Kaeya had had feelings for you— those kinds of feelings— all along…

How could he have let you go like that?

“Well of course he liked her,” Fenhua stated like it was the most obvious fact in the world. She threw her arm around you, pulling you in for a side hug and saying with a warm smile, “What’s not to like?”

And so the three of you sat around on your bed talking and teasing each other for much later than any of you had intended, given you had an early start to tomorrow’s work. But for as much as you’d smiled and giggled at all their speculations, by the time you were alone in your bed again, all of that doubt started creeping back in.

Because your time was ticking down every single week, every single day, and soon, every single hour before you had to leave this little bubble of bliss you’d accidentally discovered and return to Liyue.

You couldn’t just skip out on your final year of university to chase some guy, even if that guy was Kaeya Alberich— not when you’d worked so hard to get this far.

And so a war began to rage inside your mind, a constant push and pull of leave, stay, leave, stay, leave, stay colliding every time you tried to focus on your work only to be distracted with intrusive thoughts like how many more times would you and Kaeya get to kiss before you couldn’t anymore?

How many more times would you get to hold his hand, liking the way his cool palms helped stave off the season’s heat as you strolled through the square?

How many more times would you have the chance to memorize the exact shade of periwinkle that glittered in his eyes?

How much sooner and how much longer could you have been able to learn and appreciate these kinds of experiences with him if only things had turned out different?

The dread and regret could eat you alive, if you let it, but eventually, after much tossing and turning, you’d fall asleep. 

Some nights, you’d have pleasant dreams, others, vicious nightmares. But by the time you woke up, you’d only be left with one thought, one feeling.

And that was that you didn’t want to leave Kaeya— not for another year or another month or another day. But this version of reality you were currently living couldn’t last forever. You both had your own paths, your own lives and goals and dreams.

It was unfair to choose. Cruel to choose.

It was a painful reminder that to love was to suffer, one way or another.

At least, you thought, this time you wouldn’t be suffering alone.

†††

With summer on its deathbed, so was the stress of completing your research in Mondstadt.

You were relieved to have finished on time, to have all those early mornings, hectic afternoons, and sleepless nights behind you. But that relief was merely the honey that came before the bitter pill you knew you’d have to force yourself to swallow.

Kaeya was better at masking it than you were, all his playful remarks and charming smiles working overtime to put you at ease and brighten your spirits. But, behind that disguise was a sense of loneliness.

Your grins were lonely too, every upturn of the corners of your mouth hosting a silent apology for something that wasn’t really anyone’s fault. Time was running out, Kaeya knew. He could hear it woven into your words and embroidered around the edges of your laughter. But despite the summer coming to an end, he was determined to make every day that you two had left together count.

He’d spent the last few weeks planning a most special surprise for the both of you to share.

“So you really aren’t gonna tell me this time…” you kept on pressing as you leaned closer into Kaeya’s side, both of you strolling along with your arms linked under a sunset sky. “Are you?” Velvety lilacs bled into the sky more and more with every hill you climbed, chasing away the soft blues and pale golds of daylight’s final moments.

Kaeya chuckled, shook his head, and replied, “Nope. You’re just gonna have to wait and see.”

The two of you had left the city, the walls that still held the ghosts of so many childhood memories growing smaller in the distance every time you peaked behind you. 

“Well, can you at least tell me if we’re almost there?” you asked a little while later, part of you starting to wonder if he was playing a trick on you.

“Hmm… I could…” Kaeya teased, pretending to weigh his options. Then he flashed you a mischievous grin and said, “But I think it’s more fun to watch you squirm.” That earned him a jab in his ribs from your elbow, but your playful, otherwise painless assault only won you another chuckle from him. “Alright, alright,” Kaeya caved, slipping his arm around your waist and tugging you closer to his side. “We’re almost there.” He kissed the top of your head, his mischief softening to something a little more demure. “I promise it’ll be worth the wait.”

The remaining trek didn’t last long, thankfully for your giddy impatience, and as you reached the top of the final slope and took in the view, you sucked in a gasp.

“Kaeya!” you exclaimed, covering your mouth as if that would muffle your awe and excitement. “Don’t tell me— Is this really for us?”

Kaeya stood next to you, hands on his hips, looking rather pleased with himself as he surveyed the private campsite he’d set up for the two of you, a large tent with an open roof to view the stars placed across from a crackling bonfire, a case full of cold drinks and food you two could cook together doubling as a makeshift bench for the time being.

Kaeya pretended to scan the horizon, sweeping his gaze from one side of the cliff to the next as he shielded his eye from a sun no longer present. “Well, considering there’s no one else here…” he shrugged, sneaking you a wink and a playful side glance. Then, pulling you back in close to whisper in your ear he said, “Think you can still find our favorite constellation?”

And you were so happy in that moment that the reminder of your dwindling time left together was temporarily forgotten. You felt almost like you could cry, though this time for completely different reasons.

You were just taking everything in— the sight of the fire glowing through the dusk and the sound of nature’s ambient buzz and the feeling of longing, once starved, now being fed for the first time in years, swelling in your chest— so you didn’t even notice how long you’d remained silent, awe-struck, until you heard the nervous tremble in Kaeya’s next words.

“I mean, I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay the whole night here if you’re not comfortable…” he gently backpedaled, though where his hand rested on your hip didn’t waver. “I don’t want to assume—”

“Kaeya…” you cut him off, wanting to sound as sure about your answer as you felt, but the emotions flooding you made the end of his name quiver.

You cleared your throat, turned to better face him, and looked into his periwinkle eye, studied how it glittered so brilliantly even in the dark, like he held a galaxy within him, celestial and divine. Then you cupped his face in your hands, his skin cool against your summer-warmed palms, and said, “I have spent years waiting— hoping— for something like this. So please…”

Kaeya’s simmering apprehension turned to the still waters of relief as a fresh smile was cast upon you, offering you his hand the way he’d done so many times before, only this time, you knew the intention held much more weight than helping you up after a picnic in the glade or lending assistance dismounting a horse. He said, “Then, shall we?” and the yes that left your mouth held all the adoration that had been hibernating in your heart during those long, lonely years.

†††

As you and Kaeya sat huddled beside each other after the barbeque, nearly dozing off with bellies full and cravings for all your childhood favorites satisfied, a serene silence filled the place where laughter and conversation had previously been. You stared into the fire, once dancing, now dying, and swore you kept catching glimpses of memories long forgotten forming in the flames.

It made you miss Diluc too, in a strange way, wishing he could’ve been here to recount adolescent mischief and humorous anecdotes that were sure to cause him and Kaeya to bicker. But what had happened between the brothers was still a wound you didn’t dare dress. You doubted the bandage of your comfort was enough to heal such an injury, especially one that was likely already long scarred over, irreparable.

“Ah— Found it,” Kaeya finally spoke, breaking you from your bittersweet pondering. When you followed the line of his pointing finger, your gaze landed on that glittering group of familiar stars. As Kaeya leaned back to lay across the blanket beneath you two, he clasped his hands behind his neck and said through a dreamy sigh, “It’s been a while, old friend…”

After a moment, you lay back to join him. But that’s when the pang of regret and guilt you’d been trying so hard to avoid returned to poke its pointed edge in through your ribs, aiming for your fragile heart.

In a voice strained with tears soon to come, you said, “I have to go back to Liyue in less than a week…” To this, Kaeya merely turned his head to better look at you, that slight crinkle of elegant worry tugging at his brow. You blew out a deep, shuddering breath, hoping to compose yourself. “I just wish—” You swallowed, squeezed your eyes shut, then tried again. “I just wish we had more time.”

You couldn’t look at him. As much as you could feel his gaze studying you, as much as you wanted to glance over and learn those twitches in his expression, read his face over and over again like it was your favorite book, pages dog-eared and passages underlined and annotated with meticulous care, you couldn’t.

The moment you caught your reflection in all that shimmering periwinkle would be the last drop to burst the dam.

But Kaeya had never been much for flowing water. His area of expertise was freezing it, preserving it with frosted, crystalline beauty until such a time came when the heat of a flame or the shift to a warmer season caused his ice sculpture of love to melt.

“Hey, hey…” he cooed, flipping to his side, readying himself to comfort you. “This doesn’t have to be the end.” But you both knew it was more complicated than that. You both had obligations and responsibilities that would keep you apart, people who counted on you who you couldn’t abandon.

It seemed both of you had made a habit of abandoning yourselves, sacrificing what your hearts told you to be sacred and true all for the sake of opportunity or status.

“I’ll wait for you, y’know?” When he first said it, you could’ve sworn you hadn’t heard him right. Blinking back your misting sorrows, you choked out an uncertain, “What?” and when the boy you’d loved for so long, now a man who loved you right back, repeated the first four words of the loyal vow, well…

You didn’t have the strength to hold back your emotions anymore.

But Kaeya was smiling as he wiped your tears. He offered to help you find a position in Mondstadt once you graduated, if that was something you wanted. With his connections through the Knights, after all, he should be capable of pulling a few strings.

It was sort of overwhelming, hearing him ramble off his plans— plans that sounded like he’d already put quite some thought into them, actually— to make this work between you two. You weren’t giving a clear indication to whether or not you were on board with his efforts, but truth be told you were still recovering from being blindsided by his promise.

I’ll wait for you.

How long had he already been waiting?

The way he spoke now, so hopelessly sure of himself, made it seem like just as long as you had. When you finally forced yourself to meet his eyes, you thought it might’ve been even longer.

“Please—” Kaeya practically begged, taking both your hands in his, clasping them between the two of you as if they were a sacrosanct talisman he was praying upon, gracing the very Archons themselves. “I’ve already lost you once. Don’t make me lose you again…”

He’d been just as terrified as you back then, racing through the pouring rain on horseback, blood painting the right side of his face where his eye was matted shut with rusted red, hands numb with the newfound cold that laced its way through his bones— yet as he dashed from the scene, leaving the news of his second father’s death and the remnants of the battle against his brother behind him, what he thought of wasn’t the loss of the only family he’d probably ever be able to recall…

He thought of losing you.

He thought of the scared, sorrowful look you’d give him if you ever came to learn the full truth of that night, and it had torn him apart with every gallop his steed took further into the piney tangle of the woods.

So, finally able to utter a response, no matter how simple, you whispered, “Ok.”

“Ok?” he muttered, tasting the answer with his own tongue and then reveling in the sweetness of it. Pressing his forehead to yours, letting his eye fall shut and feeling his heartbeat drum a little less frantic, he whispered those two magic syllables once more, as if finally granting himself the right to reclaim something from his past that wasn’t marred by mystery or mourning, “Ok…”

Suddenly you felt a giggle bubbling up in your chest, finding it ironic that you now felt the need to comfort him. “You could always find a way to take a business trip to Liyue sometime, too,” you suggested. “But, to answer your previous question. Yes, I would most definitely accept a position in Mondstadt after graduation if given the chance.”

Lightly nudging his nose to yours, Kaeya was able to smile again. Because, so long as the two of you were together, everything would turn out ok. You’d figure it out, lean on each other when things got tough, and whether you were together or apart, you’d forever be linked by the night.

“Just look for the peacock in the sky,” he muttered, his mouth hovering right over yours, the gentle fan of his cool breath melting you from the inside out. “Remember that it’s me looking after you…”

†††

The tent was bigger on the inside than it appeared. Spacious, with an abundance of blankets and pillows and room to nest. The ceiling opened to let the stars in, so many twinkling lights serving as a reminder of just how many times you and Kaeya must’ve looked up at the same exact constellations and had all those fond childhood memories come rushing back.

That, in itself, was its own kind of unbreakable bond.

And he was right. No matter how far the distance between you two spanned, you felt closer to him knowing the peacock was glittering somewhere above your head.

You two were just settling in, getting comfortable when you had the sudden urge to seek him out for another kiss. You’d never grow tired of the way his lips felt against yours, the way he tasted of crisp winter air and dandelion wine. The way his long fingers wove into your hair, so tender yet so desperate to hold you and never let go.

Kaeya deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing along the seam of your lips until they parted for him to give a sample of your flavor, something subtly sweet but no less satisfying. Before you knew it— not even having the chance to think about it— you were being pulled into his lap, your thighs straddling his hips as both your motions became more erratic, any and all savoring smoothness slowly saturating to the vibrant colors of desire, your stomach fluttering with that warm, rolling feeling as yearning turned lazily inside of you.

Your fingers had found their way into the river of his silky, navy strands, reminded how shiny and soft Kaeya’s hair had always been, the envy of everyone, just like most traits he’d been blessed by the Archons with.

It was quickly becoming clear that both of you wanted more of each other— far more than you’d gotten thus far— but before things could go too far too fast, Kaeya pulled back, giving you both a moment to catch your breath before asking if you’d done this before.

Suddenly more abashed by his question than the act you’d fully been ready to engage in, you said that you had, but only once. It had been when you’d first started university. It hadn’t been a particularly notable experience, but also not a horrible one either.

“I imagined it was you…” you admitted, unable to hold his gaze as you confessed something you now had regrets about. If you would’ve known you’d end up here, you would’ve saved the first time for him.

“C’mon now,” Kaeya began, letting out a breathy chuckle as he lightly hooked a finger under your chin, guiding your gaze back up to meet his. “Don’t say that.” You were about to interject, unsure whether the words that would leave your mouth would be assurance that you were telling the truth or a scolding for him not to tease you, but before you could say anything he continued with a sly, flirtatious whisper of, “Besides, if he didn’t leave much of an impression, he could never compare to me…”

You felt your face burn with shame and annoyance, flashing an adorably stunned scowl, mouth agape with a silent gasp which only made Kaeya laugh. Once he regained some of his composure though, he faded back into that soft, intimate security you never get tired of, resting his hands on your hips and assuring you in earnest that he was going to take good care of you. That you had nothing to worry about with him. That you were safe. You were loved.

“I got you…” he cooed as he helped you undress, every article of clothing he rid your body of removed with slow, savoring intention, his gaze tracking the newly exposed flesh with reverence, worshiping your figure with his single-eyed stare.

And you watched Kaeya undress too, enamored with all that beautiful brown skin, the glow of the moon outlining him in its silvery light, tracing over the toned expanse of his chest and broad shoulders, counting the new scars he’d earned over the years but finding they did nothing to take away from his regal beauty.

“Your eyepatch…” you then muttered as he drew closer to settle his skin against yours. “Are you going to…?”

Kaeya then seemed to become a little self conscious, as if he’d forgotten about it entirely until you’d spoken of its existence. His fingers hovered over the black material hiding his right eye, frozen in the decision to show you what was hidden underneath or not.

“No, y’know what…” you assured him, taking his hesitant hand in yours. “It’s ok. I don’t care about that. If it’s a secret you want to keep for yourself,” you said, “I’ll respect that.”

Kaeya looked like he wanted to tell you something— maybe he wanted to tell you everything— but then decided against it. Perhaps another time. Surely when you were both fully clothed and not so distracted by each other’s bodies the way you were now.

And then you were laying under him, and he was kissing you again in that way that made any and all thoughts that weren’t concerning right here and right now dissipate, and his hands felt cold like they usually did but his mouth was so much hotter than before. Goosebumps rose over your skin as his skilled touch explored the soft curves and planes of your form, both eager and patient at the same time, searching for the places that you responded to most and paying them more attention until you were gifting him soft whines and lilting mewls, gasps hitching as his mouth sucked his own pattern of constellations into your skin.

It was almost too much for you and all he’d done was kiss and touch you. It was enough to convince you that, like Kaeya had previously said, whether just a joke meant to fluster you or not, when you’d been imagining the boy who’d taken your virginity had been Kaeya back then, he hadn’t even come close.

This felt like worship.

Heavenly.

Divine.

For a moment, it made you think perhaps Kaeya was an Archon disguised as a human. His natural beauty was enough to rival the gods, a fact that presented itself at an early age, and his bountiful talents for combat and charming conversation were even more evident of such an assumption.

But for Kaeya, he saw you as the otherworldly deity, captivated most by the things only he got to know about you, like the way you sighed his name when he kissed your neck and the way your fingers felt tugging in his hair as he laved over the sensitive bud of your breast, feeling it furl even tighter in his mouth and earning another pleasured whine from your throat.

You felt yourself nearing an edge you hadn’t faced in a long time, and for a moment you tried to push him away, needing a moment to regain even a sliver of yourself before truly allowing it all to let go.

Kaeya prayed that you didn’t want to stop, but was also willing to do whatever it took to make you comfortable in this new, still so unexplored situation. He told you that if you needed to wait, he’d wait as long as it took. He’d already spent years waiting for this, and if it meant getting to have you of your own volition, there was no span of time he wasn’t willing to endure.

“No…” you breathed, cradling his face in your trembling palms, making sure he didn’t take his periwinkle gaze off you. “No, I want to keep going… I just…” You closed your eyes for a moment, swallowed down the fear, remembering his promise to take care of you. “I want to keep going.”

So Kaeya prepared you the best he could, slowly working you open with his fingers and paying close attention to how your body reacted to that slight stretch, letting out a hiss as he felt you clench around him before he was even really inside yet. He couldn’t believe this moment— one he’d spent countless nights falling asleep to or kept wide awake by for years— was actually happening.

By the time he was lining himself up with your entrance, your pulsing little hole already trying to swallow up his length before he’d barely nudged the tip in, Kaeya was sure he was experiencing pure ecstasy. It was hard not to sink into you down to the hilt in one harsh thrust, but he’d made you a promise and he intended to keep it.

After you’d adjusted to the sweet sting of him nestled inside of you, both of you taking time to catch your breath and relax a little, Kaeya began to move, holding you close as his hips rolled slow and rhythmic to meet the apex of your thighs, deepening the connection between your two bodies with each new motion and drinking in every sound of pleasure that left your pretty little mouth.

He couldn’t help but mark you with more bruises, wanting to claim you as his but not go so far as to hurt you. He was first and foremost focused on making you feel good. That way, in turn, you could make him feel good. And so the back and forth, endless cycle of drawing pleasure from each other’s bodies filled the tent with his strained whimpers and your delectable, melodic little whines.

Reaching a hand down to massage more gentle circles on your already overstimulated, swollen little clit, Kaeya’s thrusts picked up speed. Your tight cunt was constricting around him so hard he knew he didn’t have much longer before he lost control, but he was on a mission to make sure you came first.

“Kaeya—!” You called out through a clipped moan. And, Archons, you were so beautiful like this. Always so, so beautiful without even having to try. And Kaeya loved you. Kaeya loved you.

When you reached your limit, entire body tensing as wave after wave of pleasure washed through your veins, Kaeya gave a few more deep rolls of his hips and then he too was coming undone, filling you to the brim and stroking your face with the back of his hand as you both rode out the aftermath of the high.

The next thing you knew, you were wrapped up in Kaeya’s arms again. He held you close, and like this, listening to the steady beat of his heart as your vision swirled with sparkling stars, you felt like you were in a dream, drifting off to sleep on this cloud of warmth and pleasure.

And you loved him. Archons, you loved him.

The last thought you could recall before falling unconscious was that all this had been worth the wait, and a little while later, after Kaeya had cleaned you up, careful not to wake you, and bundled you both up in the blankets, snuggling back in close to you, he whispered those words out loud, meaning every syllable even if you weren’t able to hear them.

“I’ve always loved you,” he said, his voice a ghost drifting away on the next breeze. “And I’m never going to lose you again.”

Kaeya was quick to doze off beside you, and there was just a sense that, by the time you both woke up tomorrow, all your old wounds would be healed.

†††

The final day of your summer in Mondsadt was coming to a close, the city of contracts calling you and your classmates back to begin a new semester. But, as you stared out at the city of freedom, the landscape glowing gold with the setting sun, you were relieved to find you didn’t feel sad.

You, Kaeya, and your two research partners had all gone for a nice lunch that day. You thought it might be important for your friends to get to know your boyfriend a little better, now that you were lucky enough to be able to refer to Kaeya as such. So, throughout a lengthy afternoon full of laughter and banter, food and drinks, the time arrived for you to return to your temporary apartment and pack your things.

Kaeya offered to help, but you insisted all he had to do was make himself comfortable, unable to hide a smirk as he chose to lounge across your bed rather than take the chair by the desk, already acting right at home.

Neither of you really talked about it— how much you were going to miss each other— but that was all well and good with you.

Besides, Kaeya had already made arrangements to come visit you in Liyue a few weeks from now, wanting you to give him the full tour once you’d gotten all settled in and back to the normal swing of your routine. In between now and then though, you’d both spend your time writing letters and counting down the days. You were excited to see his messages signed off with that indigo eyespot feather again. Just the thought had your heart skipping a beat.

Waving goodbye to Kaeya as you crossed the bridge leading away from Mondstadt, his lithe silhouette shrinking by the stone arches more and more every time you dared glance back, the sky entering its era of peach and lilac before shrouding the valleys with its velvet navy, you found yourself craving the darkness of night.

Because, from now on, all you’d have to do to be reminded Kaeya was with you was to look up and find the peacock in the stars.

***

(Hello and thank you for reading! Also, to the person who requested this fic— first and foremost, I sincerely hope you enjoyed, and second, thank you for making such a nice request!

I had a lot of fun writing for Kaeya again. I guess I kind of can’t help but make him soft and tender in the end haha. I think he talks a big game and plays up his whole flirtatious side but deep down what he really wants and needs is a deep emotional connection as well.

Anyway, thanks again for reading, and if anyone else is ever interested in making a request, please check out my request guidelines.

See you next time <3)

[strwberri-milk]

Baizhu, Zhongli, Xiao, Dainsleif, and kaeya (separately) x reader who has the same element or powers as them? Like for xiao another adeptus and for zhongli another immortal geo user , Dainsleif could have a reader who is also immortal and used similar powers to his? Fluff plz

Also how are you ?

a/n - I'm doing alright!! I started a job so that does monopolise my free time now since it takes up the slots I'm not using for classes but it's going well! I hope you enjoy the read - im still learning how i wanna write these charas so its probably gonna be ooc :D - also, i totally made a reference to my "series" Eternity is a Little Warmer With You bc i just had to aejiofwajw also crying shitting screaming this has been living in here for FAR too long i dont even know when it will be posted im SOBBING the same way i was when my coworker tried to put [REDACTED] in my face to fuck w me (i think shes great no worries shes so funny oawejfwaiod)

I don't think he expected to see another Dendro user in the area, much less one with an unfamiliar face. He makes it his business to know everybody in the harbour in case they require his services.

But, when you show up one day with a minor illness and the Dendro vision hanging from your clothes it piques his interest, which led to his continued visits to you under the pretense of taking care of you.

When things begin to develop further between the two of you I think he'd love to experiment more with your visions!

I see him using his vision in conjunction with his research and when he sees how different the way you use your powers he decides to experiment a little himself and see how effectively he can mimic it.

Overall, he would be fascinated with your abilities and would love to mess around with it a little! Even more so since you're doing it with him.

He had a lot of reservations when he first met you.

You were a terrifying anomaly to him, stirring emotions deep in his chest that he could never understand. However, with time you taught him he was allowed to embrace such thoughts and feelings,

It was terrifying to imagine a single day without your smile, but he knew that he would never wish this curse of immortality on you. He could never hurt you like that, force you to bear a burden that he was cracking under.

But when he told you about his curse the tears that slipped from your eyes matched with a happy smile made him take pause. He had no idea why you were reacting that way and only held your hand silently, brushing away tears with his other hand.

His hand stopped as you told him you were the same, your grasp tightening around his fingers as the realisation sunk in.

He was so afraid to hope for some sort of dimly lit future that could have you in it, intimately aware of the trials and tribulations you had to go through.

Now, with your hands joined together he can only think that eternity will be a little warmer at your side.

Xiao was aware that not all of the Adeptus perished in the war. He's only heard of a few of the others, less famous than him but still just as deserving of the title in his opinion. After all, you both worked hard to serve your Archon and were continuing to do your best.

When the two of you first met it was simple. A nod of your heads and you were both on your ways.

Once your patrol routes began to intersect it only took time and a few conversations under the light of the moon for him to find himself endeared to you.

It was easy with your smile and lack of pretense around him, and fortunately it seemed that the humans really were capable of protecting themselves.

Both being Adepti made it easier for him to understand why you said or did certain things what with your shared background. If anything, it helped make your bond stronger because the moments of silence were filled with an innate understanding he didn't feel like he had to explain.

At its core, your relationship is full of trust and unexplained pauses that fit comfortably between the space of your bodies. He feels fully at peace with you and knows that he can trust you with his heart and life.

He's still worried his karmic debt may stain you but the soft words of reassurance you whisper into his ear calm the thundering rush of his heart.

When Morax decided to live as Zhongli he knew that there would be things he would have to grow accustomed to as a human but also lots of things to learn.

When he first met you he didn't think he'd learn about love.

But it came so naturally to you, what with your natural curiosity and penchant for charming in the most innocuous of manners. To him, it seems human to explore the feelings you give him and so he does.

It won't stop the nagging voice in his head reminding him not to get too attached lest you slip from his fingertips far earlier than you should.

When you confess to him that you're immortal as well he does a bit of a double-take. Sure, he doesn't personally hand out visions but he thought he would have at least been familiar with a fellow immortal Geo user.

Regardless, he discloses to you a bit of his own truth with a kind smile, hugging you tightly to his body when he sees your body slump forward with relief.

Maybe one day he'll be able to disclose the other half of his secret but for now he was more than content to know that you two were going to be spending a lot more time than initially thought.

Cryo users aren't exactly rare so that wasn't what caught Kaeya's eye.

Instead, it was the fact that you pushed him out of the way when a hillichurl came barrelling towards him so fast he barely registered it.

The cold blast of ice against his skin made him think somehow he triggered his own powers without thinking until he heard the clinking of your vision against your clothes.

From there on he decided that he'd have to return the favour, deciding the best way to do that would be training with your visions.

Paradoxically, the chill of both your cryo visions does nothing to abate the warming of your bodies as you find some sort of rhythm while sparring together.

In fact, it only serves to make you both warmer when he pins you down underneath him. His cold hands hold your wrists in place over your head with a cocky, albeit out-of-breath smirk as he tries to think up what he wants to ask of you for his prize.

[vriothesley]

unholy is what you and kaeya are.

pairing | kaeya / gn! reader genre | angst, semi-nsfw, friends with benefits word count | 1.5k+ warnings | explicit language, kissing, suggestive content, implied smut, minors dni

This is the part where you run away.

Staying here would mean a lot of things, all of which you cannot begin to understand.

You distract yourself with your seatbelt, undoing it with shaky, nimble fingers. Kaeya stares ahead. He doesn’t look at you once, he doesn’t speak a word. Neither do you.

What was one to say, anyway?

“Thanks,” maybe. So you say it. “For driving me.”

Kaeya clears his throat, but it barely does anything. “I’ve always driven you home, every time we meet,” he retorts. It sounds harsher than usual, but you notice his shoulders twitching slightly, taking it as a sign of his grimace, so you don’t take his tone personally.

“Right,” you nod. And then it becomes silent.

You hear the ringing in your ears. You could almost hear your skin tearing apart where your nails have picked on your hands. You could almost hear the pleasure and pain, if both of those have any sound at all. And you wonder what it would sound like when it does.

A scream? A groan? A cry? What would you hear? Whose voice would it be?

Kaeya’s?

It feels heavy, and it feels heavy for an infinite amount of time. Like the beginning of this silence started long before you were even alive, and it stretches until a million years have passed. And maybe it would go for millions more, until the weight becomes so crushing that time would end.

“I’ll go now,” you say, and the millions of years left in the sands of time shatters. Your hand fiddles with the handle, waiting for a response, a nod, a look. You don’t expect one and you would not mind not getting one, but you waited anyway.

The door opens.

Call me, you should say. Or I’ll call you. You would always tell him that before he leaves. Text me when you need anything, you would suggest. He always knows what you mean. He texts you a week after. Come by tomorrow. I might have plans the week after. I’ll see you again.

Your mouth instead forms words that feel to you like, “Thanks, again.” You’re not quite sure of it. There is a numbness in your voice that it does not feel real anymore.

This is the part where you run away.

It takes one step out before Kaeya startles you with his voice. He grabs onto your elbow gently, but it freezes you in place. “Wait,” he rushes, “wait.”

He steadies his hand, holding onto your arm as he pulls you back to your seat. You let him. He could push you and pull you and drag you for all you cared. It has always been this war, the push-and-pull, an unfilled space between that no matter how strong you hold onto the rope, you stay miles apart.

It has always been so hard to understand what you have. You and Kaeya have had each other at an arm’s length, but never in each other’s arms.

“We need to talk, first,” Kaeya starts. His hold remains on your arm. His skin on your skin burns, like it always does. It seethes of something that you know is akin to sin. Some levels of hell, loveless pits.

Is it really the pit of empty romance? When he touches you, time and time again, you have never felt such a rush in your spine and it kills you that only he could do it to you. Only he knows your body. Only he knows you.

“Talk?” you question him, voice quiet but words sharp. “About what?”

“You know what.”

This war.

“I don’t.”

“Stop lying.”

The push-and-pull.

“I’m not lying,” you snap. “I’m not lying. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kaeya flinches, but it’s so small a move that you bet you would not even notice if it isn’t you.

But it is. You, who knows his body well. You, who knows him well.

(You do not know him well enough to understand what you are to him, and what he is to you. You do not know him outside of burning flesh and the pits of hell.)

“We have to talk,” he grits his teeth, and you hear it in his words. His hand has slowly looped around your arm that you have to shift your body and turn to him. You face him and he faces you, eyes staring each other down.

“And I asked you, about what?”

“Stop being so goddamn dense, (Name)!”

An unfilled space between.

“Stop being so fucking vague then, Kaeya!” you cry. A finger pointing to him. To his chest. “Tell me right now, what should we talk about? Our bodies? Because that’s all we know about each other.”

“No.”

“How this sick thing we do is just a repeating series of– of whatever bullshit this is?”

Kaeya tightens his lips together. He seems to have something to say, but he keeps it. He stares forward, mapping out the points of your face.

You suppose that is fair, you have never seen each other up this close. You and him always had your eyes closed, afraid to see what secrets are under your skin. The sense of touch does not help you know where the devil is playing. The sense of touch deceives you into the wicked pleasures of the devil until you dance with it.

But you suppose it is too late. Because the devil lets you feel what you are aching to repress.

Sex is intimacy. Without it, sex is just a shameless cycle of self-sabotage.

One wrong step and you fall, again and again–and again, into the bottomless pit. Pleasure and pain.

“Kiss me,” you whisper. You don’t have to tell him, and you know that. He is already a hair’s breadth close when you tell him this, and you don’t waste any time.

It all crashes.

You collapse into each other and it feels so right. The devil is somewhere letting the smolders form the fire that melts your bodies together. It feels heavy, and it feels heavy for an infinite amount of time. But you don’t mind the weight, not right now. Not when it’s this.

“(Name),” he hums against your lips. You silence him with yours, moving across the plushness of his skin. He retaliates with his tongue teasing into your own mouth.

So fucking unholy, yet unholy is what you and Kaeya are.

His hand slides down your body, teasing what little skin gets exposed with your shirt riding up. He rubs his thumb on it, and he could be etching his name onto your hip but you do not care. He could mark you and you would let him because you’re his. His. His.

“Mine,” he sighs. “All mine.”

Your hand rests on his thigh, trying to find some sort of ground with your hold.

His hand slowly slides up, up, until he finds your waist under your shirt. It feels too much and altogether, not enough. You needed more. You ask for more.

You pull at each other until you don’t know when you start and he ends. It’s all coming together, in the front seats of his godforsaken car and it’s coming together now.

“Fuck,” he clicks his tongue when you find yourself pulling away to breathe, “Come here.”

He guides you into his lap as you feel his seat slowly moving back. You move with the rush of a being so hungry, so starved and he lets you settle on top of him. Both your palms rest against his chest and you look at him, in this single moment of clarity you both have.

“What now?” you ask him. His stare is so blown that it almost scares you, because it feels like a dangerous mistake. “What now, Kaeya?”

He grabs both your hands and brings it around the back of his neck. Kaeya steadies you there before reaching to your face, letting his thumb pull your bottom lip. He stares so intensely that you could not help but indulge him a bit, teasing it with the tip of your tongue. There is a sharp inhale that slices through the heavy tension.

“What now?” he repeats, brows raising when he tries to put more of his thumb into your mouth and you welcome it willingly. “I’m going to do what I do best.”

You smile against his fingers, knowing what he means and knowing how this would end tonight.

“I’m going to make you feel good,” he says lowly, inching closer before removing his thumb from your lips then giving it a taste of his own. God. Fuck. “Isn’t that right?”

He does not give you any time to respond before pressing his lips onto yours again. Harsher. Stronger. Fiercer. A push-and-pull.

You take the words out of each other’s mouths and fill it with unrelenting sighs and the utterance of each other’s name. Kaeya, your lips mutter. Kaeya. Kaeya. Kaeya. Please, Kaeya.

Kaeya’s grip on your hips is firm enough to keep you in place. As if you’re ever moving away from here. He pulls you, and pulls you, and you push yourself down, down, down to him and down to hell. Time doesn’t stop, not even under the suffocating fog of pleasure and pain in the air. Not even when everything is shed away and all that’s left is you and him, bare. With only skin as the barrier for the secrets of your insatiable souls.

This is the part where you run away. But you don’t.

[kaeyachi]

I saw your post about the Alberich surname and was curious about kaeya being half tayvatian! Can you explain that for me please? I miss and forget a lot of details and stuff in game, but I do genuinely love genshin lore related to khaenriah and kaeya! I also flip flop between kaeya being full khaenrian and being half whatever just because his star eye doesn't seem to be as pronounced as dainsleif for example. At least in game. (always zooming into his face to try and see the pretty star lol) Like I've seen the hc of his mom being sumeran and I think that's super cute! It could explain his darker skin tone compared to dainsleif and pierro? Or like idk the star trait has been deluted after many generations? Uh I've rambled a lot but I was just curious cuz I didn't know anything about him being half teyvatian!

IM SORRY I TOOK SO LONG *cries*

AND THEN I ACCIDENTALLY EXITED THE TUMBLR APP WHICH DELETED EVERYTHING I TYPED OUT 💔💔💔 THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LONGER IM HEARTBROKEN

but anyway...THANK YOU FOR ASKING!

I think it would be better for me to come back to this after 3.5 that way I can confirm most of what I initially typed out, but heres a summary of what I've thought of

1. His name being the only one in the history of known Khaenri'ahns to originate from Hindu instead of Norse/Scandinavian

2. Due to the Hindu origin of the name, we can connect it to his constellation which is represented by a peacock- India's national bird as well as the representation for the Spantamad in the Akademiya.

3. Him being there for the 3.5 Archon quest in Sumeru as well as him getting a possible skin that is clearly half Sumeru and half Khaenri'ahn inspired

4. notes or letters from a member of the Alberich clan in Sumeru

5. Most known Khaenri'ahn characters have been pale-skinned (were unsure about Pierro due to dim lighting but even then, he and Kaeya might be related) with distinctly shaped four-pointed star pupils while Kaeya was designed differently (unsure if its because he's the first one released in-game, if its a diluted gene trait, or if it might be indicative that he is curseless)

6. Seemingly curseless or unnafected by the curse. Was even "blessed" by Celestia with a vision, which is already odd. He's still the only canonical Khaenriahn with one (clearly Celestia doesnt care whether you want a vision or not either)

If someone can elaborate please go ahead! I'm sure I've missed some!

***Additional notes mildly unrelated to this theory***

-The Alberich clan must have been known for their strategic thinking, war knowledge, and mind games if they were able to rise as the leaders for Khaenri'ah during the war. If I were a Sumeru scholar, I'd tap that too lmao

-Kaeya's name meaning "Monsoon flower" is oddly tragic yet fitting. The monsoon flowers thrive in the rainy season. Kaeya thrives during the rain as well. His main growth points and tragedies in life have happened in the rain. If it rains during the 3.5 archon quest i will scream and cry please note this.

- oddly enough i am more of a believer of the "Kaeya being frozen in time for 500 years" theory. Its possible! Olaf Katzlein got frozen for 300 after all! Some old Sumeran must have immigrated to Khaenri'ah prior to the Catalycism and got the Alberich started. Alberich clan being the smartest family in Khaenri'ah maybe?? hmm...

-Majority of teyvat suspiciously dont know that Khaenri'ahns are the hilichurls and the abyss order which means this might be forgotten history...which is weird because if its a supposedly slow acting curse then even in future generations there should still be slow-turning Khaenri'ahns right? If they purposely stopped repopulating then how did Kaeya come to exist? Pierro getting funky with whom??????? He has only been beside the Tsaritsa for the past hundred years... OH MY GOD WAIT CRACK THEORY TIME- Kaeya being the Tsaritsa and Pierro's son which explains the white streaks in his hair. No? Ok I'll stop lmao...unless?? NAH JK THIS AINT IT...or is it... JUST KIDDING I SWEAR-

That's all for now! Hope this helped others figure out the thought process behind the Half-Teyvatian Kaeya theory!

[qierxing]

War Cry

Commissioned by the lovely Veritaventis Yan! Kaeya Alberich x OC

“Khaenri'ah, huh? You sure know a lot! The legacy of Khaenri'ah is long gone. The sinners are all that's left, and they're not worth mentioning.”

i. “Sacrifices must be made.”

Briony would like to say she’s lived to see many things.

Her life has long made its way through the wheel of fortune; and with each high and low she has always endured. Unfortunate deaths, nasty slander, betrayals from those she thought she could trust. What’s a little apocalypse on top of it all?

Where is her wheel pointing now?

She’s studied Khaenri’ah. Built by humans, for humans–she thought reading through all the old texts and inscriptions would have prepared her for–for something. A sign. A prophecy of some sorts. Anything that could have prepared her for fire, screaming, and terrible monsters heard only in stories. What good does being the leading expert on the topic do if it doesn’t help you?

It was like the gates to hell had opened: hilichurls, abyss mages, heralds, dark shadow knights, and all manners of monsters flooded the stone streets. The skies turned dark, ominous purple clouds shutting out the sun. The ground trembled as they marched amidst the screams of frightened citizens. They did not falter or stop, even as people ran this way and that.

She’s one of the luckier ones, she knows. At least she had a Vision. The abyss forces did not hold back their intimidation, whether that meant setting fire to innocent families’ houses or cutting down those who happened to be in their path. It was all she could do to pull people out of the way of monsters. 

Last she was able to remember during the chaos, Razor and Fischl were trying to hold back abyss mages from the elder Adventure Guild members while Bennett was doing his best to evacuate them to safety. That was all she was able to catch before she was lifted away screaming and pounding on Kaeya’s back. That bastard. She thought nothing could phase her anymore after her adopted brother attempted to sabotage her career in the name of family. Evidently, she was proven wrong.

She sucks in a deep breath, knuckles taut around the kitchen counter. Focus. The ingredients sit in front of her tauntingly. Apples, beef, carrots…she’s made this stew too many times to count. At this point, she’s sure she could make the dish blind.

First, the vegetables and beef. The knife in her hands feels heavy as she chops the carrots and dice the apples. Did the soldiers who came through the gates feel the same with their blades? Even as people cried out, they did not blink as they slashed through flesh as they marched on. Those abyss heralds–how could they have been humans if they could so easily cut down their own? 

Focus! She shakes her head violently. The meat and vegetables are done, so now it’s time to start caramelizing them along with the aromatics. The hiss of the butter and garlic clears her mind if only for a moment. Her hands drop in the carrots and onions automatically, moving the spoon to evenly distribute them across the bottom.

Bennet, Fischl, and Razor, were they okay? They were still so young–even if they were seasoned adventurers and fighters, they cannot take on a full legion of hilichurls and abyss mages by themselves. Archons, what if they–no, they wouldn’t do that. They wouldn’t sink so low to harm mere children…would they?

Venti, where was he in the chaos? The steak sizzles as the air is filled with a hearty aroma as she makes sure to sear each side. The apples and potatoes follow after. Briony knows that Venti is more than the weak bard he presents himself as, but she worries nonetheless. Poetic ballads do not halt the hearts of tyrants and monsters.

Almost done. She pours in water, adding seasoning and herbs, before putting on the lid. Jean. Was she okay? She once again finds herself clutching the counter, staring off into nothing. If the mere townspeople were nothing more than cannon fodder to the troops that stormed through, then she can only imagine what has happened to the Knights of Favonius order, the protectors of Mondstadt. 

“Smells good~” Warm air puffs into her ear and her world screeches to a stop.

The knife in her hands finds its way upon a defined jugular.

If there’s anything she knows, it’s that Kaeya loves his games. She swears it’s some way to stimulate the constantly active brain that he has. (If she had to make it into a thesis report, she bet she could write it in a day) So she knows that she shouldn’t give him the reactions he wants. But somehow, he just always knows how to get under her skin. Is it his inherent ability to be annoying? Or an acquired talent? Either way, it’s infuriating. 

Kaeya grins, despite the blade pin pricking his skin and letting out beads of ruby red blood.

“Whoa there, honey. This is quite a greeting for you.” 

“Maybe you shouldn’t be sneaking up on people in the first place.” She bites back.

“What can I say? You just make the cutest faces when you’re surprised.” 

She scrunches her face in disgust, and he laughs heartily, as if he weren’t close to having his throat slit. 

“What’s for dinner?” Kaeya tilts his head as she continues to glare. He opts to lean around to check the pot, and turns to her with a cat-like grin on his face.

“Let me guess. Northern Apple stew?”

She wants to smack that smug look off his face. As if he had any right to talk about how she turned to her comfort food to destress. She could write essays upon essays on Kaeya’s inordinate love of wine and all things alcoholic and how cause and effect from personality and trauma played into it. 

“If you keep acting like that, I’m not letting you have any.” She brusquely replies, removing the pot from the stove and putting out the fire. Kaeya follows her to the quaint dining table as she sets down the pot. 

He hums. “Why, you break my heart. You know I love your cooking more than anything.”

Not enough to keep your loyalty to Mondstadt, but she keeps her mouth shut. She’s so drained, she’s not sure she can play tonight’s round of psychological warfare. Instead, she watches as Kaeya sets out the cutlery and plates, waving at her to sit down.

Dinner is strangely quiet, however. She expects some kind of stupid quip as they cut into the beef and spear a fork through the potatoes. Or an exaggerated re-telling of his day of work; maybe even just a fantastical story of pirates and mermaids. But there’s none, and she finds the dead silence more unsettling than Kaeya’s smooth timber.

“You must hate me, huh?” 

She pauses, fork halfway to her mouth. Putting it down, she ruminates on what she should say.

Yes, is the first thing that comes to her mind. No, is what follows after–because even after everything he’s done, he’s one of the few to see her for her without any rose filters or expectations. She can breathe around him, talk to him without fearing the weight of her words. After spending years in stifling academic seminars and upright noble balls, Kaeya was a person she could trust to be impartial and free.

“It’d be hard for me to say that I don’t hate you right now.” She manages evenly. 

Kaeya observes her face then closes his eyes, no doubt thinking about her statement.

“I won’t ask you to forgive me,” he begins, “Just know that I had my own reasons. And this is the best outcome.”

Something in her snaps. From nerves, from anxiety, or just from being tired of having to deal with Kaeya for so long, she’s not sure. 

“The best outcome is Mondstadt being burned down?” She slams her hands on the table, standing up. “Innocent people have been assaulted, ‘all for the best outcome’? Are you hearing yourself right now?”

Kaeya’s starry eye reflects her visage angry and out of breath, sending shudders down her spine.

“The townspeople have been mostly unharmed.” Her eyes widened at the casual statement. Then, the kids, they were okay? And even the Adventure Guild elders? Oh, thank the Seven–

“And the Knights have peacefully surrendered to cooperate with Khareni’ah.” Her heart drops to her stomach. Did Jean realize the price she had to pay when those monsters stormed in? Or was her hand forced against her will?

“Peacefully, huh?” She envisions the beef she’s stabbing is Kaeya’s flesh; if only for a bitter, violent moment.

“Would you rather have them forced into submission?”

Her blood runs cold at the empty expression Kaeya’s face adorns. There’s a glint in his eyes that she’s never seen before, not even when she saw him facing enemies. Her eyes narrow into dagger points.

Is this his true face?

–

ii. “Now cut me loose: I’ll show you the meaning of sacrifice.”

Kaeya knew the consequences of taking Khaenri’ah's hand.

"This is your chance. You are our last hope."

He could’ve forgotten his father’s words when his hands clasped around his shoulders that fateful night. Turned over a new leaf when Crepus found him soaked to the bone near the vineyard, hurrying him inside before he could die of hypothermia. When Varka knighted him, he could’ve moved on from the past and broken free from his father’s heavy expectations upon him.

And yet, even after Crepus died, he could not stop but think about how even the mighty fell.

So he resolves turning his back on Diluc's betrayed face, not just once, but twice. He puts aside what Jean had taught him in protecting Mondstadt, if only to crush the guilt that came with facing her as she is surrounded by abyss heralds. He knows Lisa would’ve wiped him off the map if they tried to do anything to Jean. And Amber, the young clever outrider who has always pointed at him anytime something suspicious happened. Now, she will no longer be wrong.

But he could not turn back now.

Khaenri’ah was his home. They were humans, just like the other nations. Even if the Heavenly Principles gave judgment upon his country, they are, and still, people at their core. And when his countrymen fell, what did the other Archons do?

They turned away and closed their eyes.

Still, even if Briony had tried, he knew she could not do the same. Not when she was forced to face him and his eyes. That is the one thing he always found endearing about her. It was hard to find someone like her who is able to care, and so fiercely and genuinely at that. Even as rumors swirled around him, she still smiled and invited him in for tea on a sunny afternoon. 

“The best outcome is Mondstadt being burned down?” She slams her hands on the table, standing up. “Innocent people have been assaulted, ‘all for the best outcome’? Are you hearing yourself right now?”

But if he had to be honest, maybe what he enjoyed most, is when she gets mad.

The fire in her eyes burns brighter than even Diluc’s flames that scorched his right eye that fateful rainy night. Like the explosive burn of Death After Noon, Briony’s sharp rebuttals leave no one standing. Her words are no longer shrouded and censored by an internal review, but instead carry the blunt force of the knowledge she carries. He’s beginning to realize he’s developed quite the titillating taste for the finer things in life.

He waits for her heavy breaths to slow and regulate. 

“The townspeople have been mostly unharmed.” He watches as Briony perks up at his sentence. He knows that her pride won’t allow her to ask him directly about the people she cares about. “And the Knights have peacefully surrendered to cooperate with Khaenri’ah.”

A flurry of emotions flit by on her face. Relief for a couple moments, then worry, and finally, anger, once again. 

“Peacefully, huh?” She scoffs as she forcefully spears a fork into a piece of beef.

“Would you rather have them forced into submission?”

“Don’t be morbid.” 

“I’m just saying,” he hums, amused at her pointed glare, “it could’ve turned out a lot worse than what the current situation is.”

Her knife makes a ugly screech as she pointedly drags it across the ceramic while cutting into the beef. “And there are situations where it shouldn’t be happening at all.”

He twirls the knife in his hands as he meets her eyes. “Riddle me this, O’ leading expert on Khaenri’ah. What do you think these forces are hoping to achieve from all this?”

It’s clear that she’s taken aback at his sudden question. Her face flickers between confusion and distrust, unsure of his intentions behind the words. There’s something captivating in the way her dark eyebrows and viridian eyes scrunch in deep thought, clever mind already turning wheels upon his question.

“The forces have been ruthless, but if you are to be trusted on your word, and if the townspeople and the Knights have been spared…” Ah, there it is. That lovely expression of realization dawning upon her mien. “Don’t tell me…”

He smiles and leans forward in a conspiratory manner. “Khaenri’ah is a country for the people, by the people. My countrymen may resent the people who love the Seven, but we know better to misdirect our anger.”

She’s left frozen, staring down at her plate in muted horror. 

“We’re only asking for the Archons to help clean up the mess that they stood by on the sidelines for.” He leans back and shrugs. “Again, I’m not asking for your forgiveness. But I don’t want you to get hurt trying to do something foolish out there.”

That seems to melt her frozen stature. “Do something foolish? Like trying to make sure no one gets hurt?”

“There have been no casualties, despite the mayhem that happened.” He stands, picking up his cleared plate. “That, I will not lie to you about.”

She’s silent as he also takes her plate. As he turns around to head to the kitchen sink, a broken sigh has him stopping in place. 

“Was everything we went through a lie?” Briony hunches over with a wobbly whisper. “Was it amusing, leading me around like some kind of ignorant dog?”

Diluc said something similar that cold rainy night. Just like Briony had her trembling hands clasped together, his adopted brother had to take his claymore with both hands instead of his usual one hand technique, due to them shaking so much. With anger or sorrow, he doesn’t know.

He’s silent for a moment. It would be all too easy to lie and smile it off, but he knows that would silently close another door that could never be opened again. And he could not have her cut him off, not when he has fallen in love so deeply and ardently. He doesn’t want to be left alone on that cold, dirt road anymore.

“If I said yes, would that make you feel better?” He places the dishes into the sink, the hollow clinks filling the void.

He only gets silence in response, and when he looks over, he flinches. Briony’s tears flow down her cheeks and drip onto the pine wood table. He purses his lips in hesitation before he kneels down to eye level with her.

Lifting her head gently, he stares into her glistening eyes as he wipes away the tears oh so gently with his thumbs. Foreheads pressed together, they both stare into each other's eyes.

“I love you.” The bold declaration opens his heart for only a moment. Glacial ice thawing under her pleading gaze. “And nothing will change that, sweetheart.”

If he could drink up all the despair and sorrow reflecting in those deep forest hues, he would be a staggering drunk outside Cat’s Tail. Is it cruel of him to think that Briony looks her most beautiful now? Broken down and hanging off his every word, she looks like a painting; gleaming tears like shining pearls upon her tawny complexion, dark mossy hair like swirling tree branches framing her face, all for his viewing.

“But I don’t love you.” His heart freezes over at the genuine response.

He smirks. 

“It’s a good thing, then, that you don’t have a choice in that matter.” His voice carries no hostility as he abruptly removes his hands from her face, causing her to almost fall forward into air.  She splutters as she looks up in dazed confusion.

“Prisoners of war don’t usually get to have a say in how their jail cell or warden is.” He cheekily adds, shrugging on his fur cloak. As he approaches the door, he takes a final look back at Briony sprawled haphazardly while gazing at him with an expression that he prays to be desperation. He closes his eyes and turns away. He’s losing his touch. Not many could get under his skin or the careful facade he wrapped around himself. And yet, she manages to do so without even batting an eye.

“And as your prison warden, you won’t be going anywhere.” He swings open the door with grim determination. Remember why you’re doing this. He had long steeled himself for this when he decided to knock upon Diluc’s door and confess his dark secrets of a mission that could not be heard by unknowing ears. 

His Vision sends frigid air frothing around his shoulder and for a moment, he lets the cold envelope him once more.

The click of the door closing behind him syncs with the gongs of the bells in the Favonius Cathedral. How ironic, that the chimes that once brought hope into the hearts of others, Kaeya thinks, now strike fear of those in line for execution.

[secretkittywolf]

Genshin Ending

An idea on how the game should end in my opinion!

We arrive at Snezhnaya, here to see The Tsaritsa. We run into the Harbringers and we fight them before seeing the archon. We ask her where our sibling is. She tells us she doesn't know, and we snap. We've been to every nation, met every archon and none of them knows where our sibling is. Full of rage, we take it out on Paimon. We tell her how she lied to us and how we feel betrayed. She promised us we'd find them but we didn't. We storm out into the snow, leaving behind a crying Paimon. Outside, it's cold and we're still angry. Paimon, our first friend, our guide, gave us a false sense of hope in finding out sibling then THWACK! We get knocked out and dragged away.

Childe enters cause he heard crying and finds an upset Paimon, wailing on how she has let us down. Childe asks where we are and the Tsaritsa tells him we went outside. He goes and checks and finds drag marks in the snow. He also spots and abyss mage giggling to itself. He takes it out and proceeds to race back inside saying "Someone has taken the Traveler to the abyss!" Paimon stops crying and the Tsaritsa decides to let the other archons know and how they need to come to Snezhnaya since that we were kidnapped by the abyss. We wake up and find ourselves in an unknown location. Once we're awake, we see our sibling. We're so happy! But something feels off. Turns out that Dainsleif had knocked us out and has been working with our sibling this whole time and just needed to get us away from Paimon in order to bring us to them. We learn from our sibling we're in Khaenri'ah that they don't trust the people of Teyvat, especially the archons for what happened to Khaenri'ah and The Archon War.

They explain how they've been working with the abyss for 500 years and are going to do whatever they can to wipe the archons out of existence. We tell them that yes, the archons did do bad things but they're good now. But our sibling doesn't believe us. They flip a lever that turns on a machine we're hooked on to. The machine starts extracting our elemental abilities and we scream in agony. Our sibling didn't want to hurt us but was telling us how the archons have tainted us with their power and how they're doing us a favour. In the mist of our pain, we scream out Xiao's name. He shows up and is furious. As he is ready to fight Dain and our sibling, the places doors burst open and the archons plus all of our friends that we made show up.

(Slight spoilers below for the sumeru dain quest!)

Dain summons an abyss army and the Tsaritsa gives the archons back their knoses to fight. Dain goes after Kaeya whilst Xiao fights out sibling. Paimon flies over and begins apologising as she tries to turn off the machine. Dain asks Kaeya why he sides with them after what they did to their home. He states that he is a citizen of Monstadt and that he will always be a part of the city of freedom. The fighting continues as Paimon finally turns off the machine and Xiao knocks out our sibling. He catches us as we fall and we watch as the abyss and Dain lose. Xiao helps us over to our friends and we thank them for coming to save us. As we say thanks and apologise to Paimon, our sibling gets up with the help of Dain and uses abyssal energy to transform them into the final boss that we have to defeat. Due to our weakened state, our friends lend us their powers and we fight our sibling.

We eventually take down our sibling and they turn back and apologise. All they wanted was for us to be together on the same side. They didn't expect us to be enemies. We tell them that we still love them and miss traveling with them, to which they reply with "Me too" We help them to their feet and we both smile at each other. Together with the help of the archons, we erase all of the abyssal energy, returning Khaenri'ah back to the place that it once was. All hillichurls and creatures of the abyss turn back to humans, finally free from their pain and suffering. The Primordial One arrives, stating how they were surprised by the turn of events and hoped that we had learnt out lessons. We both day yes and they grant us a way out. This is where we will get two endings.

Ending 1

We decide to leave Teyvat with our sibling. We say goodbye to all of our friends and Paimon asks if she was joining us. We both agree and all three of us leave and start traveling to other places. A year goes by and in Teyvat, there is a statue of us with Paimon in every nation and the plaque says "The Traveler and their guide, Paimon: Heroes of Teyvat" The archons decided that once a year, a festival is held in our honour. Paimon tells us that we should head back to Teyvat, to see everyone again and the game officially ends with us returning to Teyvat one final time.

Ending 2

We decide that we don't want to leave Teyvat since it has become our home. We tell The Primordial One that we wish to stay and she lets us. Our friends are surprised but glad that we're staying. Again a year goes by with the festival and the statue of us, but this time, we're spending time in each nation since they have their own way of celebrating. It is a seven day festival and we get to travel to each location, interest with everyone and enjoy it with our sibling and Paimon. The game officially ends with our picture taken with our sibling and Paimon.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this idea for the ending and how I imagine it'll play out. That's not to say that this is 100% accurate. We'll just have to wait and see what the Genshin teams comes up with.

Also wanna add that this is the end of the story. We'll still be able to play and explore. All characters, items and teams are saved still so we lose no progress, there's just a new team with Aether and Lumine that we can switch between and we have to back to the statues of the seven to regain the elemental energy we lost.

[windblume-wishes]

I’m Here, Little One - A Genshin Impact Story

*This takes place when Kaeya is still relatively new to Mondstadt! At this time he is only 5 years old. Please note that this story mentions nightmares and night terrors.*

Once more this is based on the art drawn by @/ art_broskev on Twitter, permission was granted by the artist to write this story. Please give them a follow! Their work is phenomenal! ♡︎♡︎

Kaeya had only been in Mondstadt for a little over a month but already he felt rather at home, his mission for his people was fading away in his young mind after all the kindness and love he had felt. How could he possibly turn on these kind people? Surely they did not deserve such a cruel, and unbearable outcome from Khaenri'ah’s war-hungry folk who would slaughter anyone at the drop of a pin. In the month he had been in Crepus’ care, never once did he question his newfound loyalty to Mondstadt, this was his home, his forever home and he could not betray the ones who actually loved him.

Nearly every night he was held lovingly in either Adelinde’s arms or Master Crepus’ being rocked to sleep while being sung to. In those precious moments he felt nothing but calm and peace, he felt loved. Sadly, in Khaenri'ah, such affection to Kaeya was thrown away as it was viewed as weakness. But now that he was in a land full of happiness and peace, he could enjoy such a luxury, the feeling of gentle swaying and a soft voice coaxing him into a peaceful slumber. It was as if he had passed on and went to heaven. After he would fall asleep, whoever rocked him that night would tuck him in and whisper a soft good night to him, placing a tender kiss atop his head as he dreamt happily.

However, not all dreams were happy ones, for a child with such a heavy burden could easily fall victim to nightmares and other horrors of the night. Kaeya was no stranger to nightmares, his homeland was the biggest nightmare there was. If anything, one could easily compare it to Hell itself. Never ending fires, screams and cracking of earth. The sounds of anger and hatred would fill the air, cursing the nations that had gods of their own. On nights like those, the small boy would thrash in bed violently, crying and screaming for someone to save him.

Begging to be saved from the flames of Khaenri'ah’s wrath…

Unfortunately for Kaeya, another night of endless nightmares and night terrors had come to his doorstep yet again, grinning evilly as he wailed helplessly in his bed. The dreams that played on repeat in his mind taunted him evilly, laughing at him in a near demonic manner. All he could do was cry and scream, beg to be saved from his terrible fate.

The door to the nursery burst open, Diluc running as fast as he could to his Father who was already bolting out of the mansion’s library and up to the littlest member of the family with Adelinde in tow. The screams and cries could be heard from the nursery, the sounds breaking the hearts of the three who rushed into the room. Crepus quickly lifted Kaeya, who was squirming like a worm on a hook, into his arms and held him close, trying his hardest to wake the small boy up as Addy left the room with Diluc.

“Kaeya, kiddo, you are safe now, there is no fire, no one will hurt you.” He whispered softly, running his hand through Kaeya’s sweat drenched hair. “I’m here, little one, just open your eye for me.”

Kaeya still cried, not as hard as he was before being held but he was much calmer, his eye struggled to open as the dream still kept a firm grip on his mind.

“F-fire! No!” He cried once more, tears flowing like rivers from his closed eyes, soaking his eyepatch bandage.

“Shh, there is no fire, it cannot hurt you here. You are safe at home, kiddo.” Crepus began to gently rock him, hoping the motion would put the child at ease. Surprisingly, the motion was working and Kaeya was slowly waking up. “There we go, see, kid? You are safe, I got you.”

Kaeya opened his one visible eye, looking up at the crimson haired man with the saddest blue eye ever seen. His lip quivered in between sniffles and small sobs, he shook like a leaf and curled into the man, desperate to be held. Never once in Crepus’ years as a father did he ever experience this with Diluc, he suspected this had to do with Kaeya’s mysterious origins but did not dare question the child in fear of it making him uncomfortable.

“Was it the same dream, kiddo? The fire and the world being destroyed?” He asked softly, already knowing the answer would likely be a yes.

The little boy nodded, as expected, it was. Crepus dared not press for further details unless he wanted Kaeya to go into a panic attack and crumble more than he already had. He learned his lesson the last time.

“Well it definitely sounds scary, tell you what, how about we go get you some warm milk and I’ll hold you tonight so I can scare those bad dreams away, sound good, kiddo?” He asked, standing up with Kaeya still nestled in his arms as he swayed softly.

“Y-yeah… a-an’ my eyepatch feel’s icky too…” Kaeya mumbled, almost embarrassed that his eyepatch got soiled from his tears.

“There’s more in the medicine box, and while we are at it, let’s get you in some fresh pyjamas, sweaty cloths can make you sick.” Crepus remembered how sick Kaeya got on his first night at the winery and most certainly did not want him to suffer like that again. “I have to set you down real quick to get the pyjamas, okay, kiddo?”

Kaeya was hesitant at first, not particularly wanting to leave the safety of Crepus’ arms but allowed himself to be set back on the bed. It did not take long for him to change into fresh pyjamas and new eyepatch. By the time he was finished, he was back into the red-head’s strong arms which he snuggled into more as they walked downstairs and into the kitchen. The oil lamp was switched on and a dim glow lit up the kitchen area, bathing the room in a gentle light.

Even with his one arm occupied, Crepus still managed to easily warm up some milk atop the stove, adding a pinch of honey and cinnamon, a combination that seemed to always make the tiny blue-haired child sleepy. The smell itself was soothing to his little sniffling nose, calming him down before it could even be poured into a small mug and into his hands. Soon enough Crepus carefully poured the hot liquid into a small mug and handed it to Kaeya who drank it all, getting sleepier with every sip until the beverage was all gone and his little belly was warm.

“Well kid, let’s get you to bed, hm?” He asked, receiving a small nod and little arms wrapping loosely around his neck. “Hey, kid, you feeling any better?”

“Uh-huh…” Kaeya mumbled sleepily, feeling his eyelids droop down. “Thanks, dad…”

Crepus froze, his chest felt warm and tears pricked his eyes, threatening to fall down his cheeks.

Had Kaeya called him dad? Did he truly accept him as his father?

“H-he called me dad…” Crepus smiled softly as he let out tears of joy, holding the tiny boy closer to his broad frame. “T-that’s right, kiddo, daddy’s right here and I’ll never leave you, ever…”

He found himself wandering to the rocking chair by the fireplace, still holding Kaeya in his arms, looking down at the sleeping child with love and pride in his eyes. He prayed to Barbatos that the littlest family member would eventually accept him as a father, Crepus never expected to hear him say so tonight but it was definitely something that he needed. He adjusted Kaeya so his head rested in the crook of his arm and his legs draped over his other as he stroked a gentle finger across his face to wipe away the tears.

“Those nightmares cannot come near you when I’m nearby, that’s what dads are for, scaring those bad dreams away. Goodnight, my little star.”

[ccaptain]

REFLECT

hmm *picks a folder out of Kaeya's Trauma Drawer and flips thru it* yes perfect. you get the sleep trauma -- @predvestnik

   honestly i MAY be pushing this too far ( but i'm sure people would tell me if i was ) and the latest ragbros event might have disproved this, but i have decided to make my blog [fortnite dances] non-canon compliant just because of this since the lore disproved that kaeya had any part in the cataclysm as it was happening.

   HOWEVER, people wouldn't be in pain as much if i followed canon c: so for reasons… kaeya has witnessed the cataclysm as it was happening, running away with the survivors.

   (WARNING: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF GORE/CHILD DEATH/BODY HORROR BELOW THE READ MORE)

   i imagine that the place was in fucking flames, considering how murata would dish pyro out and venti could spread it evenly. these are two of the most important things that he remembers. he has seen the archons as they were destroying his homeland, in the arms of his father as he was carrying him and shouting orders for the survivors to get to safety. kaeya was possibly five-six years old at the time, and…

   and, at some point, he lost his father and the group, and stumbled into morax.

   i've made it a canonical point that morax's eyes is what haunts kaeya's nightmares. golden and unfeeling, because morax was still in his war-crazed phase, and suddendly after dishing out geo constructs to impale people with he looks down, and there's a little khaenri'ahn kid in colorful, half burnt robes stumbling in front of him and clutching at his little haversack with balled fists among the flames and blood. somehow, if he was to recall the memory, he'd focus on that detail. i had an haversack.

   the kid is looking at him like this, with nothing but horror for what he's doing to his people, and morax is cold, uncaring, unfeeling. he has received orders he can't afford to not carry on.

   the archon is summoning a pillar to strike down the child, and finds bravery in the fact that they won't scream or cry. truthfully, kaeya is paralyzed in fear. he's about to die, and the golden eyes looking down at him imprint in his memory forevermore.

   he's saved by his father clamping on his arm like a mallet, and dragging him back into his arms to shield him as they keep on running for their lives.

   this wouldn't even be the worst aspect of it all. no, the horror is that little kaeya dared to lift his face from his father's shoulder, and dared to LOOK.

   when kaeya, in the present, has a nightmare, you'd think that he imagines people leaving him behind, but there'd be no explanation for how he shoots up and screams his lungs out as if he's being branded with a scalding iron. it just doesn't explain most of it, it isn't his deepest terror.

   no, it's the children.

   he has seen the children of his homeland, who were supposed to have a bright, brilliant future ahead of their years, being scorched alive by the heat as their skin peeling off like a fruit's one. he has seen it melting off, their open mouths scream in terror and pain as endless wells of darkness. he has seen the wind cut their limbs, them drowning in hydro bubbles around their face as if to soothe the burns of pyro WRONG, has seen people frozen in nevermelting ice and has seen how the tsaritsa wept for what she had to do. he has seen reluctant electro char the skin of adults and kids alike, has seen a screaming child being crushed by a geo spear and then twenty more alike by flaming, falling depris of destroyed buildings.

   he has seen death, and kept on looking until they got out.

   when he first came to the winery, his night terrors were fresh. i imagine that both crepus and adelinde, along with little diluc, had to rush to kaeya's room to find him screaming in a shrill voice, covering his face and sobbing his little heart out once hugged. they figured that he came from a place or horrific abuse, and because kaeya was guarded even as a child, as he has been taught, nobody ever found out the truth.

   i figure that his nightmares about this are… pretty fucking graphic. he remembers and wants to remember the horrors, but sometimes it still gets too hard for him to do that. he has seen things, but even this is too much for this callous man.

   after he got wounded by diluc that fateful night, in time he has attempted to poison himself with alcohol three times in total, and each attempt failed due to him keeping the immortality. honestly the PTSD and survivors trauma are so strong in him that he doesn't know how to function well after a long nightmare. he can't shake the children's scream out of his head, needs for his stomach to settle with warm milk.

   if you sleep by kaeya and find him gone, you can spot him in the kitchen in his robes hanging low over his shaking shoulders, humming as he waits for milk he has no will to drink but knows he has to to warm up, threading fingers in silky hair to calm himself down. if you approach him, he looks haunted and empty. there's no way to calm him down, there's no fixing him, but he appreciates the eventual attempts at it.

   he can never go back to sleep for a few good hours when this happens. he settles with paperwork and takes deep breaths until his beautiful handwriting stops being shaky, a glass of warm whiskey to settle the stomach even more near him.

   this man needs so much fucking therapy.

[reginrokkr]

“ how many times did you check to see if there was any way the cataclysm could have been avoided ? “

Devoid of any malice or drive to cause harm as the prince’s question may be, for the briefest moment it was like a thorn stuck in his heart being fiddled with a helper’s hand in an attempt to help against his ailment. To his query, albescent lashes flutter to a close with a shaky breath abandoning roseate lips. The most telling sign of disquietude —that long ago should’ve been healed—, the knitting of fair eyebrows and subtle wrinkles in betwixt. ❝As many times as humanly possible within the span of a hundred years by abyssal standards.❞ That is the best way Dáinsleif can express it, direct and earnest, for it has been so many times that he has lost count.

Sometimes he still dreams with it, the imagery of a crimson moon engulfing everything from the shattering sky and the fires of war and corruption spreading at vertiginous speeds for one to have time to process what is befalling right before one’s eyes. Sometimes he still hears the screams and yells of pleading people to be rescued, the cries and laments of those whom are forcefully transformed into creatures distant to what they were since birth.

Long ago Dáinsleif rendered impossible to peel off the mental image of everything coming to a halt as if Istaroth paused time and the scenery faded to fragments of broken crystal to rewind time as far back as he willed, to recompose space to wherever he wished to start again. And again. And again. It was hard enough to witness everything from start as if he were given a new chance to live in the no longer existing bubble of reality that Khaenri’ah supposed to him, even harder it was to come to the conclusion that the kingdom that fantasized of gold as the maximum pinnacle of one’s life was doomed from the very beginning.

One deep breath that makes broad shoulders rise and fall and a gulp to recompose himself, then icy sapphires open to meet a pair of periwinkle eyes. Forlorn, visibly weary. A far cry from the composed man he has known of centuries ago up to this day until he learned truths that no human would ever hope to process adequately and not reconsider everything— from their life to the world surrounding them. ❝I had no rest until I could exhaust the very last possibility that our homeland had.❞ His head shakes softly, eyes drop to the ground that suddenly made for a better idea to look at than the look of disappointment Kaeya must wear upon listening his following statement. ❝It was never about the corruption of our society, or the dangers that lurked within it byproduct of the eminences and their skewed followers that distorted all the ideals we have fought for.❞

Nay, that merely was the cherry on top that gave Celestia the perfect excuse to exterminate a civilization that they should’ve taken care of long ago. Another deep breath, this time he allows the slow exhale to give him the courage to look at the cryo allogene in the eye. This time the corners of his lips rise out of bitterness, eyes narrowed in a visible display of mental exhaustion that supposes reliving these memories and all knowledge associated to them. ❝Khaenri’ah was doomed to destruction since its formation. The what was an incentive to attack, but the who is what had to be eradicated since the beginning. Since before Khaenri’ah came to be.❞

@ecleips ✦

[favoniuscodex]

arguments + genshin guys

prompt: anon requested “how do you feel about your favourite genshin boy(s) getting into an argument with their s/o?? :0’’ characters: kaeya, childe/tartaglia, diluc, zhongli, xiao, and albedo w/ a gender-neutral reader word count: ~1.3k warnings: arguing (duh), sfw, headcanons-ish style?

a/n: hope you don’t mind this style, anon! i felt like it could suit your request well and works far better than a full story (imo). still haven’t written much at all for albedo, i hope this works well!

albedo

albedo argues with disinterest, unsure as to why you’re acting so irrational about such a topic. his voice reeks with condescension, remaining eerily calm as he sidelines your concerns. it isn’t until you storm out of his lab, irate due to the alchemist talking down to you, that seeds of doubt plant themselves within albedo’s heart. when he arrives home far later than expected to your shared bedroom, only to find the bed empty, the slowly growing saplings erupt into trees. 

their leaves clog up his lungs and the branches twist around his heart and up his throat as albedo tries not to panic over your absence. when you return the next morning, expecting albedo to be at work, you’re met with an uncharacteristically clingy hug from the blonde-haired man. his arms encircle around your waist as he apologizes, truly and genuinely. you murmur a soft apology in turn and hold him close to you, brushing away the leaves and trimming back the branches of anxiety within him.

childe/tartaglia

childe loves a fight, slamming the sharpened dagger of his words into any tense conversation, looking to cut. for the man that thrives on battle, the realm of verbal debate quenches the bloodlust that runs through his veins, albeit only temporarily. his inflection raises with ease and he looks to snip, slice, and annihilate his opponent, no matter who it is or what repercussions it may have. his methods are crude and brash in comparison to the graceful dance of water and electricity seen within the trenches of war and the fulfillment of his harbinger duties.

but as tears begin to fall, tartaglia sheathes his weapons and becomes the ajax you’re all too familiar with once more. “fuck you,” you scream at him, tears dripping down your face, but like the waters of the oceans he harnesses, your words stream right past him, evaporating on his skin with little to no effect. he’s wrapping you up in a hug, pressing kisses to your forehead as you shakily cry into his arms. in between the warm touches of his lips upon your skin, he sings sweet nothings and whispers soft apologies, letting the his weapons of words be cast out to sea as he emerges from the waters of war to rest on the beaches of your love. he rocks the two of you back and forth in a soothing motion, regretful of his earlier actions, realizing that the entire time, he had been seeking to destroy his most steadfast ally and not an almighty foe. there is no glory in a fight in which one betrays those who placed their trust within them.

diluc

an argument with diluc is like catching lightning in a bottle. the wine tycoon much prefers to hash out your relationship troubles in a more dignified manner than exchanging heated words with the one he loves most. however, if the circumstances are just right, the smoldering fields of diluc’s temper can reignite, leaving nothing behind but scorched terrain and ashes of what once was. unlike a blazing inferno, diluc’s words are crafted of cold steel, foreboding and akin to those of a hungry tiger, freshly awoken from a deep sleep.

however, diluc does not roar but instead struggles to keep his composure. the anger that churns within the oceans of his mind combats with the high heavens of his rationality. when ares and athena clash within diluc’s mind, both seeking victory but viewing the means to an end in different ethical lenses, emotional turmoil erupts and diluc flees the scene, evacuating before he can cause irreparable damage. he’ll return before you sleep with a bouquet of mondstadt’s finest cecelias and a bashful, nervous smile as he hopes you accept his pleas for forgiveness, for both ares and athena are swayed by the powers of aphrodite and eros, who command his heart when it comes to you.

kaeya

kaeya shrouds his words in secrecy, like all other aspects of his life. arguments emerge from the icy depths of his mind, fueled by his desire for you to view him as no less than perfect. they settle on the short-lived cryo platforms that float on the dark recesses of his mind, shielding you from the inner turmoil that lies within. his negative thoughts showcase themselves in bitter words, only emerging when provoked. kaeya much prefers to live in a blissful lie than facing the reality that you wish to know more about him and wish to see him in a vulnerable manner.

he doesn’t let you in for a reason and fails to understand why you can’t accept this. the cavalry captain is baffled when you beg him for more information on who he is, when you plead for him to just let you in and to let you love him. his frustration emerges, not knowing why you can’t realize that kaeya’s trying to protect you from his past. he selfishly keeps you close, not wanting to let you in, not wanting to lose you like the family he loved in the past, but fails to realize such a combative reaction to love will only result in the death of romance all the same.

xiao

xiao finds himself arguing with you when you put yourself in harms way. the adeptus is far, far too aware that he only has limited time with you and wishes to have every moment with you be a positive one. like a slippery eel, xiao navigates with ease past the treacherous threats of dissonance that threaten to upend the calming melody of your relationship. in xiao’s eyes, you are his refuge, his home, his oasis from the pain and realities of life that afflict him every day. 

therefore, the amber-eyed yaksha’s anger only truly appears when something threatens to take you from him prematurely, especially when you put yourself at risk unnecessarily. his lover might have a penchant for swinging their sword in the rendezvous of war with a dangerous opponent, but if xiao even smells a hint of danger on your head, he’s quick to use the powers of wind bestowed to him by barbatos to separate the two of you and challenge your foe himself, before rearing the ugly head of his anger upon you. xiao loves you, he truly does, but he wants to be able to love you for as long as your lifespan determines him to be capable of doing, not based upon the decisions of someone else’s blade.

zhongli

zhongli is a composed, refined man who much prefers the warmth of a soothing tea than the heat from bitterly exchanged words. his attitude is that of stone, reliable and calming, a steady structure that one can build a foundation upon. however, even the tallest of mountains will inevitably fall to the forces of erosion. such a temper arises from zhongli’s unhealthy desire to shed his former mantle of being the god of war and to walk among his people, but zhongli has yet to learn that to anger is to be human.

therefore he lets the mountains of his resolve wither away until there is none left, revealing the boiling magma of his temper within. his words are uttered in a low, steady tone, seething with anger at your actions as he struggles to navigate through such human feelings, for he cannot drive spears of earth into the fragile tapestries of love without decimating everything he’s worked so hard for in the process. zhongli’s words are terse, but, like all magma, zhongli’s temper rapidly cools into a new layer of firm stone, in which he bases his apologies upon. 

he’s unsure of how to navigate the humanities of aggravation, but if you’ll indulge him, maybe the two of you can work it out over a nice, calm cup of tea.

[frozenambiguity]

Anonymous asked:

"I wonder if Kaeya misses his mommy too."

Family.

For the longest part of his life, such is a concept that has been foreign to him. Sometimes, Kaeya has been closer to reaching enlightenment. And other times... Other times, he could have not been farthest from minimal comprehension. Family is supposed to resemble a safe haven, he believes ( or at least idealizes ). A multitude of ties that are interconnected and are meant to provide one with a sense of safety and refuge. 

Yet how many times has that idealization fallen to the ground? Tainted? Dirtied? Stomped over? Destroyed beyond recognition.

Such is an accurate result of being constantly abandoned, one supposes. By his biological family, and by Diluc, too. There must be something wrong with him, he figures, for things to always go south. It is as if fate laughs at his face, and decides that his path must be trodden in solitude. Lead to solitude. As if nothing else awaits him on the other side. Perhaps that is for the better. At least, he will not drag anyone with him; will not force anyone to share his misery.

He does not remember his past very well. Or perhaps that is what he likes to believe. A simple lie ( yet another one? Is it not getting tiresome? ) in order to cope with the truth. Or rather, escape from it entirely. He avoids it like the plague. Whether out of habit or because it is a response to a trauma he has carried and nurtured for years, he could not say for certain. The fact still stands. He lies to others. And he sometimes lies to himself, too. Things are easier that way.

But the concept of a mother... 

A nurturing figure. Kind, yet no less strong than a brave soldier sworn to his homeland... No less strategic than an advisor in a war room. No less stern when need be. Someone to idolize, one supposes. His heart aches thinking about it. About her. He does not remember too much in vivid detail. Much of his childhood was spent studying the ways of his fatherland. Its history, its legacy. Anything and everything between history and politics. His father made sure of it. And he also made sure to entrust much too heavy responsibilities to a mere child. He did so out of desperation. Out of the need to protect something so that it is not lost. So that it does not become an ember of time. But even when you wish for the best, there may be space for errors. And a few were definitively made.

Kaeya's mother, on the other hand... Their relationship was more based on feeling. Empathy. He remembers how her hair matched his own, and how beautiful her eyes looked in the middle of the night — shining amidst the darkness. How her touch was tender. How she used to sing a very specific song to him sometimes. The melody was beautiful, and the lyrics were even more impactful. A way for him to not forget the sacrifices of their people, despite not having been there to experience the downfall. A way for him to not forget the sacrilege which had befallen all over Khaenri'ah 500 years ago. A cry-out against the gods and their greed. A lullaby that was supposed to recall the past, yet implant hope for a better future.

We roared and roared And twisted and screamed For ours, a vale of better dreams.

Hear the reaper sing, A tale of winter done.

And yet. And yet. Abandoned.

For the sake of his people? For the sake of humanity? For the sake of having a better life? For the sake of surviving? He does not know. He has questioned his biological parents' intentions too many times now. And he believes he is not closer to the truth.

And yet. And yet. Abandoned.

Nothing changes the fact. Say that "it is for the best" to any child. None will understand it. Some will even go as far as to nurture resentment. Kaeya surely has been there. He still is there, when his revolt becomes too grand to contain.

He thought that the Ragnvindrs represented his second chance. They were supposed to be his second chance. A chance for redemption. A chance for... happiness. Yet Crepus died. Diluc raised his weapon against him amidst iron-melting fire. And left.

And there he stood. Abandoned. Once more.

Whether that was for his own good or his own tragedy... He has yet to determine. But no matter how fast he runs from his past, the latter always manages to catch him, in some way or another.

And such is the irony of life.

[ohmykazuha]

♡ as the world caves in

♡ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: kazuha, kaeya, diluc, zhongli, xiao, thoma, albedo x gn!reader

♡ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst. graphic description of violence, death, blood and war. one mention of emeto, but not graphic.

♡ 𝐚/𝐧: boom! doomsday! i just had to do this ahhh. pls listen to as the world caves in when you read this. hehe. | like/rb if you liked this please! consider giving me a follow if you liked it as well ^u^

KAZUHA lays with you on the grass, your hands intertwined as you gaze up at the evening sky.. perhaps for the last time. The sounds of war; shots, yells, bombs – penetrate through your idyllic bubble, shattering the paradise that was Kazuha's and your relationship. You look into his eyes – those hollowed eyes, the signature look of a man who had given up. You know how painful saying goodbye was going to be, yet you pursued it, content with him being the final one, the last one.

KAEYA sits with you on a rooftop, overlooking the war torn city. You see people, children, everyone – their cries meld into a painful, war-induced cry. This is not the sound of the civilisation you once knew. This was a painful shriek, a tear in society, induced by the war that seemed to be the only law everyone knew. Your head and heart hurt, the cries of mere children getting hurt by adults tearing you apart and reducing yourself to tears as he laid a hand on your back.

DILUC gazes at your hollow face, a sad grimace adorning his features. Women, men, people, children – crying for the lost lives and yearning for the peace they once knew. This... catastrophe was not how it was supposed to end. You were supposed to live a peaceful life, away from the hindrances of society. What happened? What went wrong? ...But that didn't matter anymore. You were spending your last minutes; seconds, with DIluc. And that was all you needed, really.

ZHONGLI shudders as he looks over the war-torn Liyue beside you, overrun by the Abyss. All you could hear was people screaming everywhere as they clambered out of the city, climbing, climbing, climbing to safety. There was no aim, but to get out of that hell. It was... terrifying, to say the least. Everywhere you looked lay a swarm of individuals fighting for their lives, not caring about anyone else but their own safety. Zhongli looked at the harbour again. This was not the city he had built from nothing.

XIAO looks upon the harbour, body shivering with chills as he looks at the mess of bodies in front of him. For once, the blood stains on his hands were not caused by him. That alone shakes him, horrified by the unravelled society that lay still in front of him. "(Y/N)..." His body trembles as you lay your hand on his back. He's scared, he's terrified.. for once, he's frightened. Liyue Harbour was in shambles, and he couldn't do anything to stop it. It was nauseating, to say the least.

THOMA sits with you on atop a rock in Inazuma, a grim look on his face as he surveys the bloodied landscape. How did the nation fall, just like that? To a cowardly organisation which harboured the lives of innocent. In this day, you were better off dead than alive. There was only so much the resistance could do, and every day, it seemed to fall apart more. Kokomi's eyes dulled and Gorou's tail never wagged anymore. All that was left seemed to be a shell of themselves... just like Thoma.

posting this before ebg starts. please leave a like and reblog and consider giving me a follow if you liked this! ^u^

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[genshingarbage]

Where The Lightening Touches The Mountain

How Unruly You've Become. (Part One.)

Zhongli × Ei (Baal)

Yes, this is my first ever attempt at a one shot with two characters together from Genshin. My first ever Character x Character post. Now if you're not a fan of the idea of Zhongli and Ei/Baal being together in a relationship DON'T READ THIS POST. For real, I've seen way too many people getting toxic to people who ship these two together and its uneeded, if you don't like move on with your life. Whereas I find the dynamic of these two interesting in a relationship standard others may not and thats fine, but don't start commenting hate in the comment section seriously I won't put up with it. Me and Mod Kaeya have fun doing bits together about these two on Genshin and VRChat, and that's sorta where my fascination for these two sprouted from. So if you like it great, thanks for giving it a read, if you don't even like the thought of these two together romantically then please. Vamoosh. Thanks. - Mod Diluc

The screams were becoming defeaning, the cries were bloodcurdling, Zhongli, or rather Morax was all too privy to these sounds, the sounds of war roaring around him in a never ending parade to defy his motives. He'd been in this scenario many a year before, and he's not become foreign to the consequences of such actions, its not that he was unaware he was now brutally murdering innocent mortals in a unfair war he'd created, it was just he'd ceased to care anymore over anything but his burning anger inside to be extinguished. He'd already laid majority of Mondstadt to waste and ruin now, Barbatos himself proving in the end to be no match in a face on duel against Morax. It was disappointing really, he'd so hoped him of all Archons would've given him a challenge, well not that he didn't, but... he was so easy to break apart and destroy. It would appear this world has its own cruel ways of making once strong Gods such as even Barbatos to grow weak and pathetic. Something that was happening to Morax; or well Zhongli before Morax decided to return and bring back the glory days. He left the Kingdom of 'Freedom' in a pile of its own tattered remains, debris and despair surrounded it now. He'd not even killed Barbatos, not that he couldn't have- if he'd wanted him dead the Anemo Archon would be no more. But he found it more fitting, more amusing even to see the look of broken resolve in the small Archons eyes, the agony and pain, it seemed to give Morax his vigor back to continue his onslaught across Teyvat.

Then it dawned on him, why not rip Miss Raiden Shogun from her peaceful self proclaimed eternity. After all, all she really was doing was being a little girl crying in her bedroom over spilled milk. That is why he's now here, in the thick of Inazuma terrain, bringing death and destruction upon any foolish mortal soldier who dare raise their flimsy made weapons at him. Blood stained the grass, the sounds of bodies hitting the floor, earth being torn from the dirt itself to strike up and peirce into the bodies of the unsuspecting soldiers, at this point he was giving them too much credit to call them that, victims seemed to fit the title better now. "For Inazuma, For The Raiden Shogun!" A voice cried out, through all the battle cries, all the yelling and clashing of weapons, that voice was singled out. His glowing golden eyes, acting like akin to his dragon traits locked onto where the voice echoed from. A woman with short dark raven hair, a mask hanging from the side of her head and her uniquely designed bow aimed high in the air. How cute he mused to himself, a sadistic smirk creeping onto his features. Was she suppose to look threatening here or something? She was clearly someone of importance since all the men around her yelled out with suddenly new found courage to charge so willingly toward their death. Ah well, whatever makes them feel better in their final moments.

They began to run at the intruder of their homeland, the God from another nation who'd taken it upon himself to cause an uproar in Teyvat. The rain began to crash down aggressively, the clouds growing darker and thicker in the skies as the winds picked up on the battlefield. He merely spun his spear around slowly to let it dig into the now moistened mud that surrounded him. His elbow resting lazily on the top, a bored face displayed over his features. The glowing patterns on his now blackened arms shone brightly as he was back in his attire from the Archon War so many years ago. "Really?" He boomed out loudly at the charging fools. "At least give me," He began to speak out clearly, his voice able to echo over the entire field before him as his arms lifted up and the soldiers, including the woman came to a halt. All glaring up in complete disbelief. The clouds breaking apart above them as a golden light shone down almost blinding everyone of them, before hearing the crumbling and shattering sound of a giant meteor crashing down at a frightening speed toward them all. "A CHALLENGE!" He then roared out, his throat letting out a guttural growling hiss under the words. Something dark and malice under his voice began to stir awake.

They stood there, there weapons falling from their grips, all hope was lost. How could they ever fight back against something like this? A fallen meteor so easily being summoned by this dark and twisted God? It was cruel, unfair, and Kujou Sara couldn't believe her life was to end this day, in a failed and futile attempt to honour her Archons name. As they closed their eyes all accepting there gruesome fate they heard the sound of shoes squelching into the soft mud, the clacking sound of a weapon hitting against chains. Sara dared to open her eyes and her breath almost escaped her lungs at who walked past her, baring the front of the battle line. Raiden Shogun herself, Baal. Her eyes glowing an undying purple, her hair illuminating at the tips so furiously. She throws her own spear into the ground swiftly, closing her eyes, her sword slowly starting to emit from her cleavage as her hair begins to flow in the air, the atmosphere growing tense and suffocating everyone around her. Her eyes shooting open as the purple glow has intensified. Morax too busy laughing as he grips a straggler who ran at him from the side thinking he could play the role of the big hero. His hand gripping sturdy around the mortals head, lifting his feet off the ground, the man begins to yell out in utter agony as the sound of his skull can be heard cracking bit by bit, blood dribbling out of the man's mouth, nose, eyes. The sight was sickening, even the strongest would shudder and cringe at this sight before them. "Think you stood a chance?" Morax spat out, as the man's yells died down, the man's body stopped thrashing and went limp, and the last sound of a loud cracking shattered in his vice grip before the body dropped hard to the muddy surface. "Pathetic."

Suddenly the sound of cracking boomed out violently, followed by a rip of thunder and a crash of lightening echoing across the battlefield. Morax growled lowly, the blood staining against his pure white hooded clothing, his golden eyes travelled across the battlefield, seeing the flash of purple lighting up the area around him, as the colour died down, he saw rocks crumbling and falling from the sky, his meteor had been utterly desimated. Oh? He straightened up, narrowing his eyes, across the field he saw her. The one he'd been trying to coax out of her little Plane of Euthymia from the beginning. He grinned widely and revealed his large fangs that had began to grow, it would appear the dragon inside was beginning to rear its ugly head. He couldn't help the sadistic laugh that eerily left his lips, she looked adorable! Look at her trying so hard to act tough, he knew all too well what type of woman she really was. The anxiety must've been eating away at her yet she continued to wear that brave face, cute. "Well, well, well, finally, she decides to show up." He lifts his hand up and curls his hand in to a fist tightly and suddenly spear shaped rocks unearth violently from all around him and fire toward The Raiden Shogun at a devastating speed, "A bit too late however." to which she quickly scowls at in response and grabs her spear and twirls elegantly cutting and dicing the rocks into nothing again. Oh, so she really was trying? Guess he better step his game up hm?

How long had it been? An hour? Two hours? Since Sara and her men stood there in awe, in fear as The Raiden Shogun had single handedly been defending them and her proud nation from the tyrant before them. Time felt so still but it was clearly passing, it was just impossible to tell as the thunderous clouds continued to cover the skies and block out any and all life from above. Sara so badly wanted to help the woman she was inspired by, who she admired dearly. But the fighting was so fast, they moved at such inhumane speeds she would never be able to get a hit in, she would prove to be more of a burden then a help to the Archon right now. But it was clear her strength was waning, her physique was wavering, he'd barely broken a sweat. This man, this god was a true monster. True evil right now. He'd been in many wars and it showed here with his experience and combat prowess over The Raiden Shogun herself, Sara gasped when Morax finally landed a hefty kick into her lower abdomen causing her to fall the ground. Which he then followed up with another harsh kick into her ribs, causing a horrible pained scream to cry from her lips. Her beautiful clothing was now covered in mud, tattered and ripped, her beautiful soft milky skin showing through the wear and tear of her battle ridden clothes. Her face looked distraught, but still wore that defiant unyielding expression. She glared up at him with such hatred, all that stood above her now was Morax, the rain pouring down heavily around him, the water droplets falling from his features, dripping from his hair and clothes, his spear standing up beside him before twirling in his grip and aiming the sharpened spear head toward her throat. Was this the man she'd idolised for so long? The only god she still had respect for? Was this how she was to die, by the only man who'd ever been able to cause her heart to flutter. No, not this man before her, the man he once was, was the man that had stolen her sanity and resolve, left her always blushing and flustered when hearing his name round her presence. She had accepted her fate, so decided her last words should be truthful to how she really felt over this situation. "So, is this how the mighty Morax falls?" She coughed out as blood leaked from the corner of her mouth. His eyes narrowing as he for some reason found a familiar painful pang hit in his chest from her words, something felt all too familiar from the way he felt as the words left her mouth and for reasons beyond his own knowledge he was hanging onto her every word, wanting to hear the rest of her 'final words'. "By his own despair?" She spat the blood onto the mud, as it was soon mixed into the crashing down rain. "How unruly you've become." His eyes then widened. The word 'unruly' echoing over and over in his own mind, as her voice soon faded out and was replaced by another... familiar woman's voice.

"You're so unruly Morax, Tsk!" A cheerful and beautiful voice cooed out toward him. He looked forward as the battlefield before him dissolved away and he was stood in a peaceful and serene atmosphere, nothing but pastel colours swirling with fluffy clouds around him, and there she was... his one and only love he'd ever had, the only woman who'd ever given him the time of day, the only woman who ever loved him; the one that he couldn't protect, couldn't save. She stood there, smiling brightly, beautifully, her captivating gaze elegant as always to him. He could barely swallow down the hard lump forming in his throat right now, his hands shaking as he reached out hesitantly at the figure before him, the word that left his lips, nothing but a whisper shrouded in disbelief. "...Guizhong."

The Raiden Shogun furrowed her brows in confusion as she narrowed her eyes, focusing on the attacker above her. Only to see his eyes had led him somewhere very far from where they really were right now. The rain still hitting down as hard as before, not letting up throughout their entire battle. Seeing her opportunity she slowly began to rise, lifting her battered body from the soggy mud beneath her, she then heard the encroaching steps of her loyal soldiers, Sara leading the oncoming assault as if it was her life's destiny to carry this task out to the end.

Morax stood there, stunned silent, unmoving, like he'd seen a ghost, however he had seen a ghost. She was before him right now, silky hair as graceful flowing as the rest of her. "Morax, what have you done?" She sounded so broken hearted, so torn apart. Why? No. Don't be sad, he can fix this. He will fix this for her. She means everything to him so please don't look at him with those saddening eyes. His head began to feel like it was splitting apart, reality ripping him slowly from whatever this sick twisted trance was. "They took you from me, I'm doing what I do best, killing." He spoke with an ice tongue now, like it really was his sworn duty to wipe Teyvat clean.

The Raiden Shogun raised her arm out quicker than lightening itself, halting Sara and her men in their tracks, looking at her beloved Archon with a quizzical expression. But she merely kept her glowing purple orbs on the God before her. As they'd charged toward him, she'd heard him utter that name. That beautiful goddess name, and then it hit her, what really was happening. The erosion had taken grip of this once proud Gods mind, rendering him into nothing but a husk of misery and despair. That's when she saw the look in his eyes, pure suffering, grieving for a loved lost one, a feeling she knew all too well. He didn't have a Plane of Euthymia to hide in, to collect his resolve in. He merely kept living all these years, all these centuries- alone and broken. She breathed in slowly and dared to step closer to him; Sara flinching at this new approach from disapproval and concern for the life of her Archon. Baal however showed no signs of slowing down, approaching him closer and closer.

Morax was still far too enthralled in his own trance to realise the enemy he'd nearly destroyed was now growing closer to his unaware self. "No, my darling, this isn't you. War was what you were good at, war and killing, are very different things." Her voice sounded as sweet as ever, velvet to his senses, calming his raging fire inside if only for a fleeting moment. "I'm sorry..." He practically sobbed it out. Guizhong merely shook her head slowly, as if she were a mother with a child. "I couldn't protect you; I failed you." He growled the words out through gritted teeth, his fists clenching tightly, shaking beside his broad frame now. Guizhong floated toward him, and that's when it hit him, she had no legs, her beautiful physique was only midway before dispersing into foggy tendrils that faded away. She looked ethereal, a memory captured beautifully in a specific moment of his mind. Her slim delicate fingers brushed against his cheek. The tears swelled and wanted nothing more than to desperately spill from their confinement, her hand than cupped his cheek and she leaned closer toward him speaking barely above a whisper, her voice like a lullaby. "You never did, My Mountain."

Baal was unsure why the need to cup his face so carefully; almost lovingly became so strong, but she'd followed the instinct anyway. Now stood in the rain, in the mud, in the stormy field, her display looking less then modest. Her hand rubbing gentle circles against the broken Gods face before her. Seeing the tears in his eyes, the muddled and incoherent words leaving his trembling lips, wavering in sound and steadiness. The God she'd loved for so long, becoming so frail before her touch, it made something inside her twist painfully and she wanted to take him away from this pain, this was an undeserving way for this God to leave this existence. She wouldn't accept it.

It was happening again, the love of his life was leaving him again, and the pain wasn't any less severe the second time around. Seeing her begin to fade from his view, so close in reach but still stars away in reality. "Don't go... not again, please." The words almost never left his lips from how weak they were. His glowing markings on his arms began to die slowly; why must he be doomed to live life without her now? The last thing he saw was her warming smile, before her face faded away, he closed his eyes in silent acceptance. She had left him again, all that had changed was he was now reminded of who he was, and what he'd really been doing the past several months. But if she was gone.... why could he still feel her delicate touch against his cheek, instinctively he leaned into its warmth, so welcoming it was. He let his heavy eyelids lift to reveal his golden eyes, dimming in their glow as his will was leaving him now. Only to tense and freeze up, when it wasn't her face staring back at him now. It was The Raiden Shogun staring back at him with such a sympathetic and loving gaze, and for again reasons unknown he felt his stomach twist inside.

Everything went silent, almost dead silent, the only noises that could be heard now was the rain and thunder from above. Sara and several troops stood in stunned silence, their eyes glued to the show being played before them. Baal didn't remove her hand, nor did she lessen the intensity of her gaze at the now exhausted, mentally torn Morax who stood before her. It was a moment in which a thousand words transpired between the pair but not a single voice uttered. She didn't understand why the urge to help calm him, soothe him and reassure him was there inside her, nestled deeply into her very core with all reluctance to let up, and he was bewildered to the fact he felt at ease around her, he felt safe and something he hadn't felt in a long time now; belonging. "Morax..." Was all she was able to whisper out so carefully into the thundering battleground around her, as faint as it was he heard it clearer than on any sunny day in Teyvat. She wanted badly to just pull him into her and embrace him, nothing but the urge, the undying need to hug him into her and keep him sheltered from further pain due to that vile Archon sickness; erosion. But, unfortunately fate had not decided to grace her with having such a happy ending, for her. Or for him. His golden eyes glazed over her and landed on the countless, nameless bodies of victims that had fallen before him like twigs against stone. How many lives had he taken in these two months alone? 20,000? 50,000? Each number taken into account also burned the knowledge into his mind that yes, they all had their own lives, own families and friends, their own futures, or well... they did. But here they were now, nothing but limp bones and dead organs, a solemn reminder of what can happen when a God looses their way. He understood now, he was no Geo Archon, he was a monster. A killer. A beast.

And a beast deserves to be locked away.

Forever.

The words that were about to fall from Baals lips died in her throat when she saw the attitude in his eyes change, from despair and loss- to anger and pain. So he'd finally come to? Realised his wrong doings? Really she should be happy with this outcome, but oddly enough she isn't, for all it means is more suffering the poor old God must have latched to his back for all eternity- ah yes... eternity, the one thing she fought so hard to maintain and protect, yet how easy it was to be interfered with and nearly destroyed by one Archon alone. There are not many she sees herself able to lose against, but Morax was the Archon of Archons at this point, his battle knowledge and strategical prowess landed him that respect many eras ago. She really did respect this God, but maybe she was finally starting to accept this respect was deeply rooted with another stronger feeling bedded beside it. One would call, love. However it was of no use trying to ask him to calm down, to sit down and just talk, just relax and let all bygones be said and done, his sense of duty was also his downfall, the guilt he felt tugging inside was overwhelming him beyond repair.

Her hand still placed softly against his cheek, the look of determination in her eyes faltering as his rose back up, but for the wrong reasons. She wasn't prepared to let him go, not yet, not till she's helped healed those century long wounds, but he knew her better than she was aware, and he knew she would try to fight him with every step of his departure from her lands, so with regret in his eyes he lifted a hand engulfing her own and gently moving it from his cheek. They shared a gaze that was a couple seconds longer than it should've been, and he had no choice but to ignore the intimate thought that made him wish his lips were on hers right now, and then with his other hand he tensed it into a tight fist and shot it forward, causing a stampede of spear shaped dirt from the terrain itself to be flung toward Sara and her troops at a pace no human would ever be able to defend themself from.

With a bright purple flash the spears shattered, as Baal was now stood before them all, katana in hand, hair glowing once more, still looking strong and elegant despite the muddy and tattered appearance she now wore. She'd been forced to take her eye of the Geo Archon for one second, merely a second in order to save her most loyal devotees, and that's all it took, it's all he needed. For no matter how much she scanned the battlefield, scanned the island itself-

He was gone.

End of part one, woooop. This will probably be a 2-3 part thing, just so I can fully fit everything in, but the sadness is done now I promise... ish. Its mainly done at least lmao next chapter has a bit more grieving and stuff but things get good don't worry ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) - Mod Diluc

[kachuuyaa]

In the original spirit of bsd x genshin crossover I often think about how Teyvat has different "laws" (both world physics wise and legal wise) and Bsd characters would be so fucking ?????? Learning about it

-Jean, Diluc, Lisa would technically count as war criminals

-the archons too

-mondstatd is a country who's government and military are both the same thing and it's not a democracy either (only the members of thr Knights can vote on who becomes Grandmaster and stuff)

-the country entirely depends on stressed and depressed homosexuals with questionable morals. Yes Jean is a war criminal why are they letting a whole ass child be in the military. Kaeya is a victim of multiple war crimes this close to becoming the war criminal I can feel it. Albedo is boutta snap one day. Diluc and Rosaria are holding the country together what is this.

-Also Liyue is a Capitalistic Oligarchy and the qixing are essentially just a bunch of big corporate owners and Ningguang is Elon musk of teyvat

-somehow people don't question how dangerous the country is??? Imagine going on a walk and then getting bodied by a geovshap. It would happen to Dazai.

-They're also fucking dumb you're telling me your having a debate about the history of God with GOD HIMSELF?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HES DEAD MF BEEN LISTWNING TO YOU BE WRONG JUST TO MAKE A 20 MINUTE SPEECH DRAGGING YOUR ASS it's very entertaining.

-WHY is there a child zombie and what the FUCK is a cocogoat (chuuya would be nice tho I think she's a sweetheart)

-SPEAKING ABOUT GEOVSHAPS Atsushi fist fighting one while everyone watches him suffer

-INAZUMA, the country CLOSEST TO JAPAN, is a DICTATORSHIP. Nuff said

-Raiden got the entire country on lockdown I think Chuuya would fr fight her (chuuya gets held back by every person in a 12 mile radius)

-anyways I think Yae Miko would very much bully Chuuya and Nikolai she has that vibe.

-dazai: I'm pretty sure taking away the will to live of a certain subset of people would work. Yeah. It would. Very much it would. Absolutely

-Sara: who are you

-chuuya going back to dawn Winery to get drunk off his mind and then traumadump in Diluc who wants to be left alone. I can never stop thinking of Diluc and Chuuya frenemies arc

- 🐗

NINGGUANG IS THE ELON MUSK OF TEYVAT HEUEKELEPEL I SWEAR if the hunting dogs somehow make there way into genshin JOUNO WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY because when he learns that diluc and rosaria are the only ones holding the city together hed be????Yas time to interrogate more knights HED DO THAT FOR HIS OWN ENTERTAINMENT

also if u let chuuya in inazuma during the sakoku decree theyd be like Give me ur Vision and suddenly red particles surround him and ure on the ground. then he walks off N then he brcomes a threat to inazuma

ATSUSHI FIGHTING A GEOVISHAP WOULD BE SO FUNNY imagine one launching itself in the air and atsushi screaming for his life because he doesnt know where itll land and cue his ability activating and he runs off. or maybe just finish them. but if he were to engage in a fistfight between a geovishap he’ll get squished

i think dazai would not try to attack the slimes. he made a pack listen to his gossips and when he left they went Bwa Bwa Bwa trying to mimic what he said. dazai thinks that they listened intently

if fukuzawa finds out about the government lineup in mondstadt he’ll cry. theres so much flaws and the knights they hired just. Drink. kunikida would complain as well

YAE MIKO WI TH FYODOR IS A NIGHTMARE. OR DAZAI FOR THAT MATTER. but yae miko wouldnt be friends w them 🙅 but seeing nikolai’s face and chuuya’s embarrassment is so entertaining for her. also imagine sigma getting teased by yae. their world ends

chuuya trauma dumping to diluc would most likely happen. its the only time diluc sees him so passive and laughs occasionally when chuuya blows kaeya’s or venti’s ear off

[lolibles]

oddly specific things i want to do with the genshin characters.

characters included: klee and albedo ft, kaeya, kazuha, venti, xiao, zhongli and hutao

klee and albedo: build a really big lego sculpture together. i feel like it’ll be really cute, like albedo wont be as critical and wont act as if its some elaborate experiment because klee is there. and klee being klee, would most likely try to eat a lego or like lose a piece by accident (just chaotic evil really). honestly i think it’ll just be a really fun and wholesome experience because albedo rarely spends much time with klee and she’d be ecstatic to be with albedo doing a puzzle. bonus: kaeya shows up to help when klee falls asleep :)

kazuha: MAKE A CHERRY PIE! or any pie for the matter. honestly i’m not even sure why but i want to make a pie with him. i feel like it would be such a fun thing, in one of his voice lines he mentioned liking any food that has been carefully made with love. so i mean pies aren’t the easiest thing to make (i think) and it would be such a cute experience to do it together (especially if its both of our first times)! i also think he would want to share the pie with like beidou and some other crew mates! so we’d go around offering slices to pie to people!! so wholesome,,,

venti: watch a bunch of studio ghibli movies with him. oh my god, movie night with venti? HELL YES. would probably arrange a charcuterie board, wine or literally any other snack! i feel like venti would appreciate a lot of the studio ghibli movies because of the whole aesthetic and the meaning of the movies. and yes we would probably cry together. even it its drunk tears, tears are still tears. bonus: sometimes xiao would show up to these movie nights and fall asleep probably, or he’d just show up and no one knows why.

xiao: go to an aquarium with him. i feel like xiao would really enjoy the aquarium, especially the area with the jellyfishes or the small aquatic animals. its relatively dark with the only light emitted from the animals itself. (where i am from) its pretty cold and honestly strangely comforting, its really pretty and i feel like xiao would feel a little more at peace. we wouldn’t need to talk much, and he would not mind listening to me rant about all kinds of things (idk i talk a lot). i think he’d find the aquarium quite serene so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i’d like to take him there! bonus: him being shy and embarrassed so he wouldn’t ask but he’d want to touch the fishes in the touching pond thingy

zhongli: okay this may be strange, but i took world history in school for three years and i really enjoyed learning about it. i love reading fiction books about ww1 and ww2! even if it is a pretty sensitive topic i would want to tell zhongli about the wars in our world. bring him to historical museums, show him movies/ books about it. its generally a really sad topic to speak on but its extremely fascinating! zhongli being himself i think he too would enjoy learning about it. he’s been alive for so long and he knows so much about HIS world. so i think he would like to know more about the world we live in. (also because out of everyone i think he’s most likely to be open to listen about the events) IM NOT SURE IF THIS IS WEIRD BUT OH WELL

hutao: PLAY A HORROR GAME WITH HER! imagine how fun and chaotic that would be, i’m not someone who gets scared from horror games that easily (creeped out probably but not the the extent of nightmares). i feel like it would be so chaotic, hutao might get jumped scared but she likes it, and even if it terrifies her she would always chose the worst way to play the game or purposely seek out the terror. we’d probably do it like at some weird hour in the night, and scream so loud. bonus: if zhongli was there he’d come into the room thinking we were dead or something. he’d stay for a bit but after one jumpscare he was OUT.

not sure where this came from, but i thought of it on the way to school on the train this morning! i will probably make this a series and i think its just a wholesome thing to write :) you can think of this as platonically or romantically (theres not much tho) let me know which characters you want me to write this for!!! ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و my dms and asks are open! feel free to let me know if you enjoy this!!