#Komaeda Essay Club

[bootlegsymphony]

Being Hopeful [a *personal* Komahina writeup]

*major Danganronpa 2/2.5/3 spoilers ahead*

Someone told me to gather my thoughts into a post so here it is.

Note: Unless you’re up for a challenge to potentially reshape your opinions towards certain ships, if you think Komahina is by default a toxic ship in anyway shape or form, or if you firmly believe that Hinanami is “bestest Hinata ship OTP owo”, it’s not in your best interest to read this post. I’m not suggesting you are invalid or wrong, but you’re likely not the group of people I’m looking forward to having a constructive and evoking conversation with.

First off, I might have been recognized as an avid Komahina shipper, and my opinions towards Hinanami could be generally summarized as ambivalent/mixed/minorly favourable. I was able to acknowledge Hina/Nami’s relationship as of roughly equivalent significance in regard to DR2’s theme.

But it was impossible for me to consider the two relationships narratively equal, I was able to notice that Koma/Hina was a “meant to be” endgame relationship right of the bat, yet Hina/Nami reads as this transitory experience of an obscure puppy love, or “yeah that happened” that’s melancholic and beautiful. Evidently, the narrative strongly favoured Koma/Hina in terms of screentime, development, complexity, compatibility, and endgame potentials.

I wasn’t too confident about why Komahina screams an ultimate destination of a Hinata relationship to me, yet Hina/Nami never convey a remotely similar message. In many aspects, I didn’t ship Komahina in the past for the sake of “I want Komaeda to savour happiness” but placed more emphasis on “it would be wise for Hinata if he could ascertain that his future is with Komaeda”. However I couldn’t elucidate why I thought so.

But due to some unexpected changes in my personal life, it was so effortless for me to reach an epiphany why Hinanami couldn’t quite be the same Hinata-OTP as Komahina. And now I’m kicking myself for not being able to be more adamant about it earlier.

In short, I had a brief taste of how “true bond” or “true connection” functions. It was an estranged, uncharted experience to me prior to that “sudden change”. And in retrospect it’s unimaginable how I survived that bitter life of pure bleakness without it. But since I was able to discern the characteristics of a “true bond”, Koma/Hina, while being excruciatingly complicated and bitter in canon timeline, had a great foundation for that nonetheless, while Hina/Nami was, fundamentally “deficient” in this specific department.

Hina/Nami, either the DR2 or DR3 iteration, doesn’t go beyond being a fine relationship. It’s not bad, as adolescent crushes are typically not bad. It’s functional and somewhat sweet if Hinata was just some normal shy boy who at some point met a nice caring pretty girl. But a great, monumental relationship doesn’t come from being just fine, and Hinata is much more messy than a such-and-such average joe as what a part of the fandom preferred to project him as.

But Hinata wasn’t an adequate rival and foil for Komaeda, that ridiculously multilayered character likely in all fictions for nothing.

For starter, Hinata committed Izuru Kamakura and countless war crimes, for fuck’s sake.

I had this pessimistic outlook that humans aren’t truly designated at birth to understand each other unless they are. Real life Nanami being the talented, worthy Ultimate Gamer she was, even if she could acknowledge and validate Hinata’s struggles as a talentless person, and brought him some temporary comfort and solace, she could not understand the full spectrum of complications the struggle itself entails. Being the kind and somewhat compassionate person she was, she’d try to understand Hinata if he ever decided to open up, but she’d likely just go “yeah talent doesn’t really matter you should just be confident in yourself” as long as she’s not some Ultimate Empath like Makoto (or Junko) all at the same time. To her, Hinata’s decision to Izuru-fy is unfavorable, but not particularly tangible.

It’s somewhat similar to a moderately affluent person not knowing what an impoverished/economically-challenged life entails, they could never understand why it’s necessary for anyone to opt for crimes and prostitution and shit, if you could just “yeah money doesn’t matter you should be happy” your way out of it. Why is it necessary to choose a life path of crimes and prostitution? Why is it necessary to Izuru-fy oneself? It’s the perpetual predicament of mutual understanding in humankind. No matter how sweet and wholesome on the surface that ship appeared, Nanami would hardly ever reach Hinata’s soul beyond skin-deep, if the talent/worth debate, the rigorous societal expectations, the everlasting emotional quagmire of being under-loved and under-appreciated...everything which gradually carved out Hinata’s pivotal character (that we know of) from his embryo, was a non-issue to Nanami at core.

If there was a portion of Hinata yearning for true connection in an intimate relationship (which I doubt he didn’t), his relationship with Nanami would eventually turn insufficient or dissatisfactory, despite feeling nice on the exterior.

Normally, people don’t realize they’re empty until they’re fulfilled.

But who else struggled immensely with the entanglement between talent and worth throughout their life? Who else once resolved to obliterate their own precious being in pursuit of an almost delusional ideal of hope as Hinata did, so that they could potentially speak to Hinata on the deepest, hidden stratum of his soul?

Komaeda.

It always pains me to read Komaeda’s first FTE where he suggested Hinata’s ultimate talent could be “Ultimate Serenity” because Hinata granted him some inner peace “just by being there”. Knowing Komaeda’s mind it’s a nearly impossible feat to make him feel peaceful. Komaeda likely didn’t even consider that a legitimate talent, he inwardly viewed Hinata “being there” as inherently valuable but he couldn’t even tell. Yet Hinata failed to just, be there, be existent.

And, I always considered Komaeda sustaining himself being alive to be a monument on its own, yet 2-5 happened, for Hope, I believed.

I once had a mentally stimulating talk about how emotional and intellectual transparency lead to a solid foundation of “true love” among people with someone before. They even expressed, months ago, that if Hinata could just speak up about his problems with Nanami he wouldn’t have necessarily Izuru-fied himself.

Yet even being the aloof and reserved fucker he was, Hinata wouldn’t camouflage himself in front of Komaeda. Komaeda saw through him even if he was having a hard time deciding on how he should have felt himself. He voiced, various times throughout DR2, that “we have similar scents” “I thought you would understand me” “we’re both miserable bystanders” “I couldn’t see you as completely separate from me”. On the surface it seemed like Komaeda was being cryptic and dragging Hinata to his level, but given how we knew Hinata took even more drastic measures as escapism, were they even that different?

It was why exactly Komahina dynamic was so embittered and resentful in the canon timeline. It was not hatred, but involuntary intimacy. Hinata was emotionally stripped naked (sorry, not to evoke any erotic visualizations, just a convenient metaphor) when it’s not even Komaeda’s intention, and Komaeda’s always emotionally naked. It didn’t turn out well not because it was a fundamentally dysfunctional dynamic, but they simply met each other in the worst, most despairful and unluckiest timeline possible. With continuous manslaughters ongoing, it’s only palpable that baring your soul to someone as dangerous as Komaeda would be intimidating, but it still had that mesmerizingly entrancing aura, especially in Komaeda’s last FTE.

They had no choice of not knowing each other well.

Unless either of them died, which they both did. But an ultimate future was born and they were granted a second chance to finally reach the destination they deserved.

In a post-HPA scenario, Komahina was not only somewhat contextually implied as Hinata’s endgame, but it was deliberately set up as a generally hopeful relationship as well. Kodaka once suggested in an interview that post-HPA Hajizuru inherited Hinata’s emotions, so that he was able to sort out his considerably complex feelings for Komaeda as it left off; meanwhile with Izuru’s analytical skills and insights into human psychology, it would likely become not as cumbersome. With Hinata’s determination and persistence it would hopefully not only cure Komaeda’s terminal illnesses, but also “heal” Komaeda from his hope fetish and other cruddy coping mechanisms, with all the support and dedication Hinata could provide. Hinata, being emotionally identical to his past self, would likely occasionally experience insecurity and low self-esteem as well, and it could require Komaeda’s weird little method of presenting challenges/creating minor inconveniences for Hinata in order to help him build up self-agency and develop infallible self-assurance.

It’s kind of the Ultimate Love that survived all the trials and tribulations, and to think of that the Ultimate Tragedy gave birth to the Ultimate Love, huh, seems about right for our two Ultimate Lucks.

[malewifeboimler]

IS ELIM GARAK A TUMBLR SEXYMAN?

In this essay I intend to answer whether Garak from Star Trek: Deep Space 9 fits the “Tumblr Sexyman” mold, and more specifically the “Komaeda” archetype. @sicklywhitedudes has created a TVTropes style checklist to categorize Tumblr fandom’s responses to various characters, which I will apply to Garak. Many thanks to @helltabby for creating the definitive Komaeda checklist, which will also aid me in this goal. 

Main Four Komaeda Checks

✔️Play a large role in the story

Yes, I know he’s supporting cast, but a lot of the episodes he’s in end up being very relevant to the overall plot (The Search, Improbable Cause/The Die Is Cast, In Purgatory’s Shadow/By Inferno’s Light, A Time to Stand, In The Pale Moonlight, When It Rains--What You Leave Behind). His chaotic energy cannot be contained.

⭕Play an antagonistic role, but are not originally presented as such

This can go either way. He’s introduced as a spy for the Cardassian Union, who were the main bad guys at the time, but as the stakes change so do his loyalties. He’s presented as helping Julian out in Past Prologue, but for his own mysterious reasons.

✔️Are morally grey; have a justification for their actions and/or reason for redemtpion

He’s a sad gay who just wants to go home, that’s all. He’s like if Zuko were middle aged, and we never knew his backstory.

❌Split fandom which woobifies or demonizes them

I have seen some criticism leveled at him (imperialism apologist, he murders people, kinda racist), but the split isn’t really there.

Does this look like a fandom that either loves or hates the guy?

Additional Qualifiers

✔️Is male

❌White/Silver/Grey/Pale Blond Hair

Kelas Parmak isn’t a Tumblr Sexyman for the same reason that Roan Lands isn’t a Tumblr Sexyman.

✔️Edgy

He murders people for fun and profit (Body Parts, Empok Nor, In The Pale Moonlight). And we do love that for him, but it’s not the best way to look dignified.

✔️Young or not traditionally masculine

Andy Robinson said “I am going to be the campiest lizard possible” and they tried to stop him but he had already stolen the fandom’s hearts.

✔️Have gay subtext, coding, or baiting

:/.

In an attempt to wash away the gay subtext, they had him date a 19 year old girl. Like this post if you want to steal Rick Berman’s kneecaps.

✔️Protagonist has a ‘soft spot’ for them despite objectionable actions

Remember when Garak went to jail for six months for committing attempted genocide and Julian was like “cool now you have time to catch up for book club!” I think Kasidy Yates went to jail longer for like. Smuggling food and medical supplies for the Maquis.

❌Actually hiding the true antagonist

Garak hates Dukat and wants everybody to know it.

The Sexypedia Archetypes 

suitguy/well dressed

He’s a tailor. His clothes are ugly but it’s the future so who cares. Also,

white

He’s an alien, but he’s played by a white actor and like. He is canonically from and in support of a colonialist power and he will not let you forget it.

when people outgrow the twinks and move on to older men

How old is he? Not stated, but likely in his 50s (or the Cardassian equivalent). Not a dilf, but like. Not not a dilf. (Sisko said there was room for only one dilf on the station)

edgy duality

mirror!garak is literally collared and chained up to worf. he doesn’t interact with regular garak because the chaotic energy would be too much.

knifemurder

he murders

i am going to cause problems on purpose

civil defense: he wants to not die, but he’d be okay with dying if he got to piss of dukat on the way down

questionable gay rep/gay-coded villain

i dont fucking trust rick berman. ira steven behr can stay but hes on thin fucking ice

twisted freaking cycle path

empok nor, afterimage where he FINALLY gets some therapy 7 seasons in

monsterfucker-ified

in canon, garak is just a normal human man with shit glued to his face and painted grey. yall draw him as an archaeopteryx? alligator?? godzilla???

There are still people who are surprised that people are horny for Garak. 

These are people who have just started the show, or like. Watched DS9 in the 90s bc Terry Farrell is 6′0 and then got bored but saw it was on Netflix and they’ve been stuck at home since March. These are Facebook group fans. They haven’t been exposed to the weird shit that this fandom can produce.

[kookgotmeshook]

Five Things Game

Tagged by the amazing @mochikeks!! omg thank you for thinking of me I’m so touched :,)))

Leggoooo

Five Things You’d Find in My Bag

1. Wallet

2. Phone (my Pikachu case is too big to fit in my pockets lmao)

3. Lip balm or chapstick (my lips get sooo chapped and I’m trying to break my habit of biting my lips >>)

4. Hand sanitizer

5. Random change everywhere

Five Things in My Bedroom

1. Manga (I have like over 200 volumes of manga in my room help me)

2. Music Stuff (bassoon, piano, music stands, loose sheet music etc.)

3. Anime figures, plushies and posters (I’m such a weeb im sorry)

4. Desk with my makeup and Kpop albums

5. Boxes of things I bought for my dorm in college 

Five Things I Want to do in Life

1. Get my degrees in Music Performance and Dietetics

2. Be independent financially and be well off enough to take care of my parents

3. Own as many dogs as possible

4. GO TO A KPOP CONCERT OMG PLS

5. Live to see the ending of One Piece and the second season of Hunter x Hunter

Five Things that Make Me Happy

1. My doggies <3

2. My family and close friends

3. Anime (seriously if you need some recs, i gotchu)

4. Kpop (BTS, Big Bang, EXO, South Club, Mamamoo, ZICO, Zion T, IU, SNSD, FT Island, etc etc etc)

5. Rain

Five Things I’m Currently Into

1. Naoki Urusawa’s Monster (I’m on episode 15 and it’s so good I’m just ;-;)

2. Kpop ;) I follow BTS mostly on Social Media, but I like to listen to a wide range of artists! HIT ME UP WITH RECS PLS I love finding new music

3. Tales of Vesperia (I don’t have an XBox but I watch lets plays...it makes me want the game so much more TT)

4. Buying organic foods and things that are ecofriendly! I’m making DIY beeswax wraps to use instead of disposable plastic bags and I’ve been using reusable pads (trust me, it’s not as gross as it sounds). I like making my own things and helping reduce pollution ^^

5. Writing poetry at random hours of the night when I can’t sleep

Five Things on My To-Do List

1. Finish Monster

2. Read those two books and write some essays I have to turn in to my professor that was due last week whOOPS

3. Organize supplies for college

4. Start drawing again

5. Learn how to double tongue on the bassoon (ugh)

I tag @floral-hobi @komaedas-ass @lovelyeffervescence @thefreelena @actual-lii :D

[jennlegacy]

Notes for 2016 anime post. Only read under that context.

·         HaruChika: Haru and, the show’s lead heroine, Chika are both crushing on the same teacher, so there’s a bit of a love triangle going on. Don’t worry; the teacher never ends up with either of them and they’re both precocious crushes if anything.

·         Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu: On the image, only the character to the left, Kikiuhiko, would be considered in the LGBT spectrum. The show is a tragedy detailing his backstory surrounding a woman and his best friend. He is not outright stated to be gay within in the show, but there are a lot of visual cues and subtextual evidence to back it up. So much so that nearly every essay and analyses dissecting this show are seen through an LGBT lens. (My personal favorite is ANN’s episode review guide.) Moreover, the original mangaka is known exclusively for her BL stories and the fandom has unanimously agreed that this is an LGBT story, so make of that if you will.

·         This Boy is a Professional Wizard: A four episode 13-minute short miniseries. This is the fourth entry in Soubi Yamamoto’s “This Boy…” series which are all fluffy BL romances.

·         Doukyuusei: Movie

·         Concrete Revolutio: Aki only appears as a minor unnamed antagonist in the first season (which aired in 2015). Even when she is reintroduced in the second season, she only appears for about 3 episodes. She is however, important to the storyline. Also, this show is…er…very dense. I recommend you read historical essays or very top notch episode analyses as you go along to understand what’s going on.

·         Haven’t You Heard? I’m Sakamoto: Acchan’s a very prominent side character. He’s adorable.

·         Kiznaiver: This relationship is presented in a very “tragic lesbians” way. There’s still no denying that it happened and it’s important to the story though. Personally, I found Kiznaiver to be very dumb, mean spirited, and up its own ass, but more people seem to love than hate it, so what do I know?

·         Macross Delta: Very important side characters.

·         Sailor Moon Crystal: No need to explain.

·         Tanaka-kun is Always Listless: The show flip flopped on the nature of their relationship a lot. They’re very cute together and are well loved in the fandom however. The show itself is cute and inoffensive, but as for complete legitimacy of their relationship, tread with caution.

·         Battery the Animation: This show is written from the same author of “No. 6” which is pretty famous in the anime community for introducing a non-fetishized gay male couple in a story that didn’t necessarily focus on their relationship even before “Yuri on Ice” did it. “Battery” however is in the same boat as “Rakugo”. Don’t quote me on this, but I’ve been told their relationship was toned down from print to screen.

·         Cute High Earth Defense Club Love!:The Beppu brothers have a very creepy crush on the main character’s older brother. What makes them different from stereotypical gay panic type villain characters however is that they are not defined by gay stereotypes but by their pettiness, childishness, and transparent classiness. They are a delight; my favorite anime villains from 2016.

·         Dangan Ronpa 3: I FUCKING LOVE JUZO SAKAKURA. IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE THAT CAN REMOTELY CONTROL OUR BOY JUZO? NO THERE ISN’T. JUZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Despair Arc also contains an caricatural bisexual character, Teruteru (he thankfully doesn’t get much focus), and whatever the fuck Komaeda is.

·         Flip Flappers: One of the major themes beneath the truckloads of abstraction and symbolism in this show is Cocona’s coming out story. During its fall run, people jokingly said it was in competition with “Yuri on Ice” to trying to “out gay” each other each week, and coincidentally, it confirmed its LGBT themes the same week “Yuri on Ice” had its kiss scene.

·         Gakuen Handsome: This is a parody of BL dating sims. It fit into my “not offensive” criteria. Please watch it. Don’t ask questions, just watch it.

·         Izetta the Last Witch: “Izetta”’s a bit complicated. The romance is very much there, but this show is very obviously aimed towards cishet dudes. I’ve seen a lot of debate for this show, and hey, if you feel validated and empowered by it, no one’s stopping you from feeling that way.

·         Kiss Him Not Me: The “gay option” in Kae’s harem is treated on equal footing with all of the guys. I’ve never seen that happen before. Be warned; the last few episodes introduces a male bisexual character who leans towards the predatory side.

·         Magical Girl Raising Project: Side characters.

·         Show By Rock!!: Nothing ever really comes of it, but Retoree’s constant infatuation towards Cyan is a cute recurring gag. This doggy’s very thirsty for the kitty.

·         Sound Euphonium: There is so much violent discourse for and against “Sound Euphonium” that I can only suggest that you watch and judge it for yourself and then never ever talk to anyone online about it.

·         Yuri on Ice: Yeah.

·         Classicaloid: This one’s weird and I wouldn’t have put it here if it weren’t for me desperately trying to amend “Gundam” into here. The show is about reincarnated classical music composers and Franz Liszt is reincarnated as a woman rather than a man. The show acknowledges this too. She’s still attracted to women and seems more than happy to tell Kanae about that time she stole her buddy Chopin’s wife. The whole “the original composer wasn’t gay, but this anime version of them is” thing is the main reason I was initially reluctant to put this here. Not pictured: Tchaikovsky is also reincarnated as a girl, a fact that is acknowledged, and is still attracted to dudes (Tchaikovsky was gay in real life).

·         Gundam Iron-Blooded Orphans: Side characters. Shino, the boy on the left, was confirmed as bisexual by his voice actor. Yamagi, on the right, is allegedly gay, but somehow, it is easier to find confirmation that he is attracted to Shino than it is to find confirmation that he is attracted to dudes.

·         Nanbaka: Hitoshi only appears in the first the first episode of season 1, but returns as a full-fledged recurring character at the start of season 2 (winter 2017 season). The main cast is initially caught off guard by their gender reveal, but they are otherwise treated respectfully afterwards. They are adorable. Additionally, there is much debate over whether or not the main character, Jyuugo’s, claim to be bisexual was meant to be a joke or not.