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#Like “ohhhh it’s funny when people are angu over stuff!!!” But the same people get annoyed when I actually show the bad sides of it
theinkbunny · 6 months
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my family after finding out that no, my reaction to pain isn’t to cry or whine, but to become hyperaggressive to anybody nearby
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#This is because the fact I’m constantly at every given moment holding so much hatred and anger#So much pain and suffering that it takes a toll on my fucking soul and I still choose to love. To create.#I choose to be peaceful most of the time#My past was not fair. It wasn’t acceptable at all. I shouldn’t be alive right now#And I know for years my life is going to be shit. I’m going to be socially outcasted due to shit I cannot control#I have spent from the age of three fucking years old to now not being able to go outside in the winter with others#It’s going to stay for the rest of my life. I’ll never build a snowman. I’ll never eat an icicle. I’ll never go sledding#I am forever going to live without those memories that people take for granted.#I have to stay inside and try to scratch the feeling of his hands all over me off while people get to play and have fun#My life is fucking hell#And yet? I’m still KIND TO PEOPLE THE BEST I CAN#I AM TRYING I REALLY AM#But when I’m in pain to the point I can’t move for hours I am going to be a bitch.#The anger is festering and boiling and it’s going to end up hurting somebody or me.#I fucking hate anger issues so badly#It’s so fucking trivialized#Like “ohhhh it’s funny when people are angu over stuff!!!” But the same people get annoyed when I actually show the bad sides of it#I have fucking holes in my walls. I have shattered windows at seven years old. I get stressed and I have to throw things or I AM GOING TO -#- TAKE IT OUT ON ANOTHER PERSON. I don’t want to be who I am but I have to. I’m trying so hard and I’m failing
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twigsnbones · 7 years
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(for the long ask meme) 8, 28, 29, 38, 39, 68, 87, 110, 112, 117, 141, 155, 159 - 169, 180, 189 (and would you recommend it), 198, [Free Space for a question I haven't listed, but you wanted to answer anyway] - Have fun! :D ♥
I always forget I reblogged these, I was really hecking surprised when this appeared ohhhh heckkk let’s get started dudes
8: Yankee candle scent:Uhhh I like vanilla I guess
28: Band: Y’all know it’s FewJar. And I also quite like Fall Out Boy, I’m not in the fandom, tho. (oh and Dat Adam.)
29: Singer:Alligatoah? Hope he counts. I really like his style of playing with words. And his songs are connected with many good memories of mine, so, uh, yeah.
38: I wish I was a professional:Writer or artist. Tattoo artist would be quite nice. Maybe I’ll get to that point, maybe not. Rn I’m a regular student with bad grades lol
39: I would like to move to:A big city in Germany, I guess. Maybe not Berlin, maybe something like Dresden or something. Not sure. Just moving out would be great, I am so fucking sick of this hellhole I swear to the Spaghetti Monster
68: The worst sound in the world:Cracking knuckles and nails on hard surfaces. Ugh.
87: The last movie I saw:“What about Bob?”. I saw it with my mother. It was funny, I quite liked it.
110: My Neighbors:They are so hecking rich. They have some sort of company. I live in a hotel, it’s not the biggest, but still. Their house is like two thirds of ours and they are just two people. Sometimes their sons come over, they are in their thirties or something.They are nice people and sometimes I empty their mailbox when they are on holidays again. But we aren’t really close, it’s not more than an occasional small talk I guess
112: Facebook:I have an account there, but it’s really hecking inactive and I follow people from my old family and some guys I was friends with once. Every time I decide to look at my feed I want to rip my eyes out immediatly after. Especially when I see poorly translated memes. Ugh.
117: MySpace:I… don’t know anything about MySpace tbh. So I don’t really think much about it
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:As a drink white chocolate and to eat milk chocolate. I really want to drink white chocolate now.___
Do I believe in:
155: Magic:Do I believe in it? …yeah, kinda. I think I do.
159: Ghosts:I do believe that it the souls of the dead can watch us, but I don’t know if they can interact. I guess only if you ask for it through spells or something (dudes I really don’t know much about magic I am currently reading a book about Witchcraft, but school is getting my ass)
160: Soul mates:I do believe that there can be an extraordinarily strong bond connecting two or more people, but I also believe that it can be broken apart again. I just think some people are destined to meet, no matter if they are meant to stay together forever or not. Some are just meant to cross paths, I guess.
161: Horoscopes:I don’t believe in that newspaper-stuff, but I guess some can be really accurate. I have no idea.
162: God:No, I don’t think I believe in God. At least not the one and only God that showed himself through some burning bushes or something. I think the creator of the universe doesn’t care that much about things.“I believe in a universe that doesn’t care and in people who do” - Angus from Night in the Woods
163: Hell:This is so difficult to answer. For some, this is hell. We all have our personal hell here, I guess. I don’t know.I just think that justice will come if you are like.. bad. I just don’t know if it comes before or after death.
164: Heaven:Same thing with that one.
165: Aliens:Yeah. If the universe is really infinite or just close to it, there would be an infinite number of possible creatures. Like, we have countless alternate universes in our universe. Just, really really far away. I don’t know jack shit about science but it sounds plausible to me.
166: Yourself:Depends on my mood honestly. I think I can get stuff worked out after some time but right now I’m a pile of confusion and mistakes.
167: Fate:uuuuhhhhh yeah, I do. But I also believe that you can change it to some extend
168: Luck:I believe that you get what you deserve. But not immediatly. If you do good stuff you can still have bad luck, but be paid for your actions later.
169: Love at first sight:No, I absolutely do not believe in love at first sight.___
180: Marriage is:A contract made for tax-advantages. It is not a proof of your love. At least in my opinion. If you think otherwise, I absolutely respect your opinion.
189: Last book you read: “Dolores” by Stephen King and yes, I really recommend it if you like Stephen King or badass old ladies telling their life stories.
198: I am really:Confused. I am really really fucking confused and I don’t know what I am doing most of the time. I am going through some really big changes in character and stuff and I don’t know what the fuck I am doing. But it will be okay.
Optional slot:
1: Did you answer all these truthfully?I did answer all of these questions as truthfully as I was able to right now. I could change my opinion on a few things, tho.
Thanks for the ask, Mo!! luv ya
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