#Like really genuinely people need to do what they want and what makes them happy

[luckykiwiii101]

Clarification #!

Hey Upper East Siders.

Clarification #1

Unfortunately there is drama going on my blog right now. I do NOT want to be portrayed as a bad person. And I also do not want any other bloggers to be portrayed as a bad person. And I do not want @noddingofcat to be portrayed as a bad person. Because believe it or not, I actually think the opposite.

Clarification #2

I know, I know, my blog is sassy and “mean”. People may get offended by the wording on my posts. Yes my “wake up call” type posts are harsh but that’s how I intend them to be. But what I do not intend is for people to get offended by my posts. The sole purpose of my posts are to help you all. As i’ve mentioned previously in many of my posts, babying people and letting them victimise themselves is something i’m strongly against!

Clarification #3

Behind “- gossip girl” I’m a kind and caring person. I don’t want people to feel like they can’t talk to me. If I didn’t care about you guys I wouldn’t make posts and share them with you and answer your asks. But know that if you want my respect you have to reciprocate the respect you give to others.

Clarification #4

I want everyone to acknowledge that I spend on average over 2 hours on my posts, gathering information and drafting it so that I can turn it into the beautiful posts that reside in my master list, on my home page that can be accessed very very easily. So it is frustrating when you guys don’t read them and proceed to send me an anonymous ask asking me the same question when there’s a whole entire long ass hell detailed post in my master list titled in big bold letters. 💀

Clarification #5

Please do not send me an ask if there is clearly a post in my master list that addresses it. I do NOT mind if you made a simple mistake and could not find it but please let me know.

Clarification #6

I do not allow private messages as it’s unfair for me to basically “privately coach” people selectively whilst rejecting others. I also simply just do not have time during the day for that.

Clarification #7

If somebody genuinely needs help and is going through something terrible, I understand if you would want to speak to me since i am a blogger who is educated on the law. I’m still learning new things aswell, and whenever I do I share it with you guys. But I want to let you know in the nicest way that I am not a therapist and I CANNOT guide you about things outside the law of assumption.

Clarification #8

I’ve received many asks in the past of people wishing death on me, calling me a psychopath, insulting me etc. Please understand that if you send me a passive aggressive ask like that I will not be nice and sweet about it. I’m not talking about @noddingofcat btw i’m just clarifying because this isn’t the first time and I DON’T want it to happen again.

Clarification #9

This is personal to @noddingofcat

I genuinely think you are a nice person. You tried to defend me thinking that @queenofuniverses was harassing me. I cannot express how much I respect that. Then you defended @queenofuniverses when I falsely accused her of sending me an anonymous ask. Honestly I really respect that. I’m not trying to get on your good side i’m seriously just saying what I truly feel. And I think everyone knows by now, I speak my thoughts.

Clarification #10

Thanking everyone who follows me for supporting me and my blog. I don’t think you guys actually understand that I care about you guys. I want you to all manifest your dream lives. And i’m DYING to hear your success stories. I completely freak out when l see a success story in my inbox because of how happy it makes me. So keep them coming!!! Not for me but for yourselves ❤️

P.S. I might stop my gossip girl theme and soon my blog as a whole because I don’t want to get caught up into any more miscommunications. This was honestly stressful because I know a lot of you look up to my blog and trust me when I KNOW it hurts to see someone you look up to, turn out to not be someone you expected. I’m far from being that person

Love you, XoXo

- gossip girl

[ceoandslutler]

a short analysis on the theme of kindness in kuro, in defence of the morally reprehensible protagonists.

i previously spoke about sebastian pulling a "not like other humans" line on ciel but the things he's actually saying in this chapter are crazy...

chapter no's and pages in alt text!!

media illiterate (most kuro fandom antis') logic is that ^this guy's^ the big bad villain of kuro, there's so much to analyse about the theme of kindness and humanity in kuro but ultimately people are blind to it because sebaciel are not the kind, happy-go-lucky type of protags many people are used to and people struggle to purify them. there are so many people in this story "more innocent" than them and less morally grey which makes them look like worse people but the fact is that they are the "worse" in a world full of the "worst". they're there to show you how despicable humanity can be but they have their moments of 'good' (otherwise they'd be lacking in likability), especially moments like this can be quite odd in this story about corruption and evil because in those pages, these two do not seem like the deplorable, manipulative and conniving characters we often see them as. this moment reminds me of another very dear chapter to me which two volumes comes after this.

this is such an interesting part of the manga (it's why the blue cult arc is my favourite arc of the manga despite all the popstar/idol shenanigans that threw a lot of people off). the way these two behave in this arc is not normal, they do not need to go above and beyond for these people. it is not necessary for sebastian to go this far for ciel AND his tenants (who it is important to note he has no contractual obligation to care for, especially not to the extent of giving them the "time of their lives") and it is certainly not normal the way ciel treats these people with zero contempt even when they 'disrespect' him as a noble. these two are genuinely weird for their time, blue cult arc also gives us an unforgettable seb moment (link).

this chapter also serves as part of the transition between the blue cult arc and the blue memory arc which is also...

one of the most intriguing parts of the manga... what's interesting here is that ciel HAS kept his tenants happy as proven by the halloween chapter (the page below from this same chapter talks of infrastructure needs having to be met and we read that ciel has fixed the roads since becoming earl and even an old donkey can transport milk from across them- that's how good the quality of the roads are). however, what i want to focus on is undertaker previously saying ciel, despite having phantomhive blood is not like his predecessors. in fact, the flashback chapter shows he's not even like his own identical twin brother!

i really wonder what exactly undertaker meant by saying that right as ciel saves joanne in the school arc and also what vincent was thinking about his sons in this flashback sequence. did vincent think o!ciel is different too? and what is it that makes him so odd? or rather, what makes him an exception in the phantomhive family? i look forward to whatever yana has in store for us and hope to see where these wonderful characters with such bizarre morality (or lack there of) end up.

i will talk about this theme more in the future but if anyone has something specific to add, please do. and even if it's not too detailed or you're unsure, feel free to tell me what you think about the use of 'good' and 'evil' for the main characters of kuro overall! some things to consider:

fundamentally why are ciel and sebastian the way they are? and more importantly, do you think yana intended either of them to be read as strictly "evil"? a lot of people make the case of the fandom purifying them but i never see that these days, usually it's only ciel that's sanitised of all sin and sebastian that is demonised (although occasionally both are demonised as solely "bad guys"). i joke about them being narcissistic and not the nicest people (which is something i genuinely believe) but i do not think they are the root of all evil; which is a take you can have without absolving them of any and all misdeed they may have committed. i think what i'm really getting at is that sebastian is not ""evil""? and he's not innocent either. but he's a force for "good" in the story. he works for the phantomhive estate and the people living on that land more devotedly than a demon with a 3-clause contract with the master of the land should and he shouldn't be excluded from the phantomfam and only seen as horrible/evil but nor should he be solely seen as a silly little cat loving parent. and you don't need to ship sebaciel to see him this way, just read the source material with your eyes peeled, really think about what sebastian does and says. he's so interesting and he's so much more than the fandom makes him out to be. but interpret him however you want, i guess.

[crazy-pages]

People like you showing Biden and other democrats that even genocide won’t stop you from voting for them, no matter what, have destroyed this country.

Fucking genocide apologist.

Okay I'm gonna rag on you for a moment because you're dropping anon-hate and anon-hate always deserves that, but then can we talk seriously?

First of all, lol, this is hopelessly optimistic of you to think that Biden's loss would change the mentality of the Democratic party when Hillary Clinton's loss didn't. It makes me look fondly back on my childhood when I was fresh-faced and naive enough to believe that a presidential loss could change the trajectory of a political party whose election officials, party apparatus members, and most of their elected officials will remain unchanged regardless of the outcome of a presidential election. I know you think you're a cynic kid, but trust me you have levels deeper to dig. Get on my level.

But to move past ragging on you and to speak seriously-

Sometimes, there is no winning move in an election.

Let's talk about an issue a bit more abstract than genocide first. I would really like the United States' business system to function more in line with socialist principles, where holding any sort of position of authority over others in a company requires the voluntary and democratic buy-in of those they oversee. I think unions don't go far enough, I want business executives to be elected and constrained in their actions by internally enforced constitutions.

And there is no elected official I could vote for to make that happen. They do not exist. But I can make decisions about which elected official will be easier to organize under, to get closer to making that happen. Who's going to be easier to fight? I'm not talking about voting for someone I think can be pressured into giving me what I want, I'm talking about someone who will simply be less hostile to organizing efforts. Sometimes that's as simple as "which state officials will let me have a graduate student union at all in this state?" and sometimes it's a question of what Supreme Court precedent I expect to be set by a president's judges, and which will be easier to fight later through other non-voting actions.

So here's the horrible, awful, sad truth I have for you.

There is no voting option for USA citizens, including non-participation, which will save the Palestinians in the Gaza Strip. We can hope for protests to continue to erode support and keep the issue in focus, we can use our financial positions to donate aid (as much as is allowed through), hell those of us with access can perform sabotage. But there is no voting option which will affect whether the genocide is permitted to continue by our officials, because this is a two-party oligarchy, not a genuine full democracy.

There is no voting option which will influence the long-term trajectory of the Democrats or the Republicans and whether they continue to be the kind of parties which will support genocide either. Neither is there a no voting or third party voting option which will replace either of them.

If you want that to happen, you're going to need to do organizing and disruptive actions outside the voting system. Maybe if we form enough connections at pro-Palestine protests, do enough organizing work, we can mimic the March on Washington and show up at Washington DC with a hundred thousand people and the implicit threat of "we are capable of putting this many people in the capitol, do not make us come back here". (It worked to get the Voting Rights Act passed).

But that organizing will not occur independent of our voting political system. Obviously not, Biden has been happy to give his seal of approval to police violence against pro-Palestine protests. But Trump's response to the Portland protests was worse. Much worse. He sent in federal troops who were even more violent than the college crackdowns and who black-bagged random people off the street to intimidate protestors, without even the fig-leaf of legal justification the college crackdowns have used (which is scary because it opens the door for even further escalation).

If you want to continue organizing outside the voting system, who is voted in is going to matter for that organizing. Biden is making it difficult, but it can be worse.

Also, Trump is going to make things much worse for a lot of different demographics, who will have much less available bandwidth to help with pro-Palestine organizing. One of my close friends is a trans woman living in California and right now she can and does help with the pro-Palestine movement. But if Trump is elected and passes federal anti-trans laws, that's not going to be possible for her anymore. She'll have to hunker down and go into defensive survival mode, just for the right to exist.

I know this probably sounds like me being derisive and saying, "Ohh, you're a single issue voter about genocide, tch, how naive!". But it's not. It's the practical reality of organizing. People who can commit hard, on the level necessary to affect change outside the voting system for people on the other side of the planet, are not people who are desperate and barely surviving. People who can help are people who are in a position to help others. And if Trump gets elected, a lot of people are suddenly not going to be in a position to help anyone but themselves, if even that.

As an extreme example, when Hitler came to power in Germany, well before the Holocaust got underway, he successfully killed socialist organizing in Germany. But not just because he was directly targeting them with police and the army. The previous regime had been doing that too and they hadn't successfully killed German socialism (hell they'd slaughtered socialists with cops after the socialists saved the freaking government from a coup, they were certainly no allies of socialism). But Hitler, by targeting Jews and disabled people and Romani and queer folk directly, hit populations who otherwise represented possible socialist allies. He made them hunker down and focus on purely self-defense, which allowed him to fully clean up socialist opposition before turning on minority demographics with the full force of the Holocaust.

Direct police violence against political opposition (what Biden has to offer) is less effective than that and a prejudicial campaign of dehumanization and oppression against demographic groups aligned with political opposition (what Trump has to offer).

If there's no voting option which will free Palestine (and there isn't), ask yourself the next question then. Is there a voting option which will free up people to help fight for Palestine's freedom?

If there is, and you're honestly more concerned about Palestinians than your own feeling of moral gratification, take it. Vote, get it over with, and then go back to doing the actual damn work.

[livsspecialinterests]

don't really know what I'm writing or why but it's 0350am and I'm sitting in bed unable to get back to sleep having a weird slight panic

idk whether I'm feeling a bit of a writing slump because I know that the dead should stay dead still has quite a way to go and some part of me worries that by the time I've gotten at the very least to the next big plot point a lot of people may very well have lost interest in the fandom

like I know it's silly because there's probably always going to be some sort of fandom around BJTM but this little community means so much to me and has meant so much to me during a really difficult and life altering time, I mean for gods sake I started writing fics to try to figure out my own meltdowns

plus at this point I really have no other strong interests, idk maybe I'll get super into Doctor Who again with the specials and the new series starting but I've really gone hard on the One Interest

I really love the last few chapters of the dead should stay dead but it's felt a bit different writing them. maybe it's because I feel a little guilty spending whole days on chapters when I've got so much that I need to do for work (I know it sounds sad but there's exams, portfolio etc), plus I'd really like to give writing original fiction another go

there's also that gnawing fear that the fandom is going to like... vanish, which again is probably not true in its entirety but once the tour ends I can see some people falling off or finding another thing

also people leaving or drifting away from the fandom is a completely okay thing to do I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad if that's what they want to do

it's also not to say that people are obliged to engage with or comment on my fics or hell even read them, of course no one *has to* do anything in fandom it's a bunch of people just having fun

I know I should just write for my own fun and enrichment but external validation is nice, okay? plus these past few weeks the external validation and thinking 'no, I want to write this for the people who are reading the fic and want to know what happens next' have been big motivators

my main motivator used to be this absolutely unstoppable creative drive and love for the show and it's characters (which is still there, I'm unfortunately going to love this silly show until the day I die I think) but this past week I've found that I'd rather study for my work exams than spend time writing a few paragraphs

if I cool it off a little with the frequency of chapter updates it'll probably be a net good for me, I really need to buckle down and get these exams passed, I need to start actually engaging in planning my career because I think in my head I've been thinking I might get a book published one day and as a result I've been sort of half neglecting the actual really decent career I've got

but also my mental health is so much better, I've mostly healed from a lot of my late diagnosed autistic trauma, plus work is actually quite good right now?

maybe more of my writing for BJTM fics was motivated by being mentally ill than I originally thought, and maybe I don't *need* to write fics anymore but I want to and I want to still love writing fics as much as I did back when I was having that difficult time, where it was a huge personal comfort to be able to write Beej having a hard time in very specific ways and have other people comfort him

I have said to my husband that I'll probably cool it with the fics once I've finished the dead should stay dead and am going to focus my creative energy on something original to see where that goes but there's still so much to go on the dead should stay dead..

that silly little fic has become like my baby, I want to write it all, flesh out the characters before the next Big Thing happens, I want to do my ideas justice but I also want to make sure there are people still in the fandom to read it once I get to that point

again I'm super tired it's the middle of the night and I'm rambling, I don't want to imply that anyone reading this should carry on reading something they don't enjoy, and I don't even think the number of people reading the fic has even gone down, I've just woken up this morning full of dread for the fandom changing because, fandom and interests wise, BJTM is kind of all I've got right now.

I didn't really belong to a fandom for years after BBC Sherlock ended and I realised while watching the 4th series that it wasn't that good there was just a very passionate fan base and that's what I likes (I know, I know), BJTM was the first thing I got really into for ages and the first thing I got really into while figuring out what it was that I got *really into* stuff (autism)

obviously no one has to stick around in a fandom for the benefit of a silly autistic fanfic author whos terrified of change, and please, please don't think that's what I'm implying or what I want

ughh idk what I'm even writing, I should probably just reach out more to people but doing that is scary without the buffer of a fic

I should also probably invest more time in doing stuff irl but I know that no hobby gives me the joy that writing gives me, like when I'm really vibing with something there really are few better things for me than being safe at home and writing

also maybe I should try to get into some other stuff but I don't really want to but equally I know the BJTM fandom isn't going to last forever I just.... 🙃

the silly musical and the silly community that has sprung up around it and making art and writing fics for it has saved me in so many ways I'm just scaaarrreedddd (and also tired and typing this at 4am so I might be being dramatic for nothing, plus I know I struggle with assuming any fleeting emotion is going to last forever, maybe I'll feel different in a weeks time idk)

anyway I'm going to try to get a little bit more sleep because I've got to be up for work at 6 for my actual grownup job that I should probably pay more attention to

(this is also totally not some way to subtly say I'm not going to finish the dead should stay dead BTW, I love that fic and I'm proud of what it is and what I've got planned for it, so to the people who are still reading please don't worry 💜)

[derpinette]

girls being nice to me gets me higher than ecstasy ever could

[theokusgallery]

The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first

[dbphantom]

you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight

[todayisafridaynight]

thinkin back to the rggo story where mine saves daigo after he gets kidnapped because daigo thought kiryu was in danger and mine immediately scolds him for acting recklessly and daigo’s just ‘no one’s ever stood up to me before aside from kashiwagi’ and how that calls back to daigo’s Y0 substory where kiryu tells him only true friends will stand up to him and put him in his place and im--

[wrecking]

edit: i ended up just ranting abt like the current vibe™ in the tags... sorry abt that but like also whatever i don't care anymore

[ask-artsy-oncie]

Its just like. I just got my drive for animation back today of all days but I've committed to making a bunch of Valentines dolls and I have to finish them early enough so people can order them and have them *arrive* on Valentines Day and AUUUGH.

Just wish my brain worked properly. Yknow?

[shiningstages]

Getting White Day Tsukasa first try, and seeing the newer cards on JP, really makes me wanna write fanfic again..........

[ghostlysoupcan]

im gonna say it the whole fucking crowd who are like 'how to spot a NARCISSIST!' or 'how to defend yourself from emotional abuse step one never leave yourself vulnerable in any way' have completely fucking destroyed any hope of talking about abuse in a serious way.

they tend to leave people either a. horribly paranoid or b. even finding decent info to begin with. people have sensationalized abuse and the therapy behind it and you end up getting the 'uwu im a super empath can sense vibes and bad people before i even speak to them so if you look mean or ugly or i just dont like you youre a narc' type bullshit and its to the point i can't even find good sources to look for when it comes to healing from the hypervigilance and anxiety. not to shit on people with hyperempathy btw, i feel like the shit effects you too because its gotta suck seeing someone glorify something thats probably hell to deal with and unwanted in daily life.

but these fucking people get it in their heads though that the solution to aaaall their issues is to pin it all on a convenient target. and finding someone who doesnt demonize people with personality disorders is like pulling fucking teeth. its so widespread that you can find a channel or an article that seems nice and then you end up finding out they think that adhd and anxiety are the brain things that dont need to be taken seriously while if you even breathe that you're psychotic or schizophrenic or god forbid have aspd and tell someone theyre calling you abusive and warning others that you're 'dangerous' without even knowing you.

yknow. id go to college to learn to be a therapist. ....except theyre fucking there too and getting their license so they can eventually make their shitty unneeded opinions some random trauma know problem. ireally dont get why this is a fucking thing and i wish it never was because its so prevalent that i cant go a day without stepping in it like dog shit. i hate having to wait to trust people and swe if somebody is explicitly an ally or until they decide im too traumatized or mentally ill. (hell i could do you one better, tell one youre an aromantic and they'd throw a fit over it cause you might as well have told them you have aspd anyway with how not loving people is demonized. you dont have to love cats to think theyre nice to have around sometimes and interact with same as people.)

its frustrating, to say the least.

[wannaremember]

.

[jooniez]

okay wow so today was a whirlwind of emotions 😭😵‍💫🥹

[lovecrazedpup]

when my friend is at work so i cant cry in call with him !

[jytan2018]

I read the comic in one sitting less than an hour after finishing the movie, and wow I have many Thoughts™.

- It's very obvious the two versions were meant to cater to different audiences AND tell different messages. I don't get why people are going "But the comic was better! It had more nuance!" just because Nimona was easier to root for in the movie.

- The comic was written back when ND Stevenson was still trying to process a lot of stuff, so all the characters are morally grey/straight up evil and the climactic battle is between a Ballister who regrets turning against Nimona, even if it was to save others vs. a Nimona who's too hurt to care if her lashing out was going to hurt innocent people.

- By the time Nimona got a movie adaptation, ND was a lot more secure in his sexuality, so the climactic battle was Nimona vs. the Director, the symbol of religious oppression and bigotry. It's not just about your friends turning on you because you're "too much" for them anymore, it's also about a society that would rather bring itself to the brink of ruin than coexist with you.

- (I totally get why people were upset about Ballister's surname change, though. Like come on, the media dubbing him Blackheart just to be mean was RIGHT THERE).

- Nimona's metaphor for not shifting is such a neurodivergent thing. Even in the comic, Nimona's parents insisting she's a monster who replaced their daughter is reminiscent of the changeling myth, which is what many parents thought their neurodivergent kids were—changelings who replaced their "real" children.

- Ambrosius being trained to cut off HIS BOYFRIEND'S WHOLE FUCKING ARM instead of merely disarming him is a very cop thing to do. As much as cops claim they're trained to de-escalate situations, their training still teaches them to treat everyone as a potential threat, and that level of constant vigilance can turn anyone into a trigger-happy/arm-choppy bastard. Even the Director, who can use a sword but probably hasn't actually fought someone in ages, STILL can't see Ballister reaching for the squire's phone without assuming he has a weapon.

- And on that note, the Queen getting killed simply because she was trying to reform the Institution and allow commoners to become knights? That's the best "no such thing as a good cop" metaphor I've seen. Because even if there ARE good cops and they ARE in leadership positions, the system will crush them before they make any meaningful change. It's not a good institution that turned rotten, it's an institution that only exists to spread its rot and refuses to be good.

- That's why Ballister's characterisation is so different in the movie vs. the comic. Comic Ballister had 15 years to come to terms with his trauma and the Institution's evildoing, while Movie Ballister is still freshly traumatised and hasn't found a way to define himself beyond the role he was assigned by the Institution.

- Not to mention Comic Ambrosius was not very noble to begin with and genuinely believed Ballister was better suited to villainy than heroism, while Movie Ambrosius never wanted the glory that came with his lineage in the first place and only antagonised Ballister because of indoctrination he needed to unlearn (which he did, all by himself, after witnessing the lengths the Director will go to just to kill Nimona).

- It really shows how important it is to surround yourself with loved ones who are open to change. Comic Ambrosius can love Ballister all he wants, but he'll still blast his arm off because he thinks Ballister deserved it anyway. Movie Ambrosius will stop to question what "the right thing" even means, even if he didn't love Ballister enough to defend him unconditionally.

I have so many more thoughts bubbling beneath the surface, but I'll probably address them some other day. In conclusion:

[ID: A pink-haired Nimona grinning evilly while holding up a knife.]

Watch Nimona. This is not a request.

Edit: Added more thoughts!