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#Like. Yeah it was a darkfic. Sure. But everyone acted like that was the be-all end-all of its issues
pauein · 2 years
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Not to ramble on main (Just kidding i will not be stopped) but. Anyone else ever get the Fear irt branching off into making more Mature:tm: content? Like... OK maybe its just the crumbling state of media analysis on the internet right now (....+ The fact that most of the followers on my art account are from. Uh. Teh kirby fandom DHDBDJDHDBF NO OFFENSE TO KIRBY FANS its just. Very different target audience) but i always just get very worried about people completely misreading my intent in darker works or being frustrated and considering it Bad writing if things.. Dont work out well for the characters
DONT THINK THIS POST WILL GAIN TRACTION BUT JIC IT DOES THIS IS NOT FOR PR/SH/PPERS. FUCK OFF
#Kernel Panic#Writing#I mean. Maybe im just not giving people enough credit here but#1. Fandomization of everything is a curse#2. I kind of used to think liek this.#Like. When i was leaving mmy 'YESS ANGST AND WHUMP MUHAHAHA PHASE'#I just kinda ended up going in the opposite direction for a bit? Soet of?#Like i was still writing and consuming technically Dark work#With lotsa gore and mental illness stuff and all that#But everything still had this sort of... YA Good guys have to always be right and win#And bad guys have to always be wrong and lose#Mentality going on in my brain.#Honestly like. Dont get me wrong i love mob psycho 100 but the 2018 state of the fandom ruined my analysis abilities for a while#Not the shows fault or anything. Its more that Everyone was desperately trying to avoid being A Bre/ch of Trust#Without realizing what the actual Issues with that fic and its derivatives were#Like. Yeah it was a darkfic. Sure. But everyone acted like that was the be-all end-all of its issues#When the main thing was that its entire SETUP was plothole in itself#+ The gay stereotypes + infantilization of a very autistic coded character#And a lot more honestly. Lol side psa ab/t by ph/ntomrose69 sux#But. I havent touched the fic in years so maybe like. It Had a happy ending or something#I mean. That was always the implication tbh#But things can HAVE happy endings and still just feel... Very gross and pointless#Thats something i wish people (including past me) realized more tbh. Just because it ends with everyone being happy found family#Does not mean the whump and angst was well written or well handled.#Ok done for now sorry @ people who read tags#EDIT REGARDING ABOT: Oh my god how could i have nearly forgotten the ritsu thing </3#That is a fine example of being Pointlessly Weird. Like i GET it was going for a blood sacrifice thing or whatever i Guess.#but Why Like That.#Like did it ACTUALLY have a reason to be like that or did OP just think the ''''aesthetics'''' of it would be CoOl and SCAARY
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heeres-suffering · 4 years
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Be More Alluring: a Personality Swap AU
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[pic description and source will be at the bottom of this post, under the read more]
Start of summary:
“You need to be more alluring.”
"... don’t you mean attractive?”
“I do not. Your attractiveness is adequate, Brooke; if you want to mask your apparently latent queerness, you have to make them want you straight. Isn’t that why your step-father defended you?” 
Brooke Lohst is a loser.
But you know what? That was okay.
She always knew she was a weird one. The intensity of her affection for puppies, picture books, and near-constant daydreaming has lasted well-past a normalcy she can’t seem to grasp; when coupled with her inability to befriend anyone (besides the similarly self-identified loser Michael Mell), it’s not a surprise the rest of her peers have left her behind.
However, there were... ah, worse things in her life to worry about then some mild bullying. She liked her passion well enough, and all of her true insecurities went largely unnoticed, so any insults or weird looks rarely lingered in her mind. It’s not like she was a constant target either, which helped a lot. All in all, she just planned to hunker down, wait out the awkwardness of High School like everyone else, and move on to the rest of her life... 
Except.
When Brooke develops a crush on a girl she’s never talked to, after years of avoiding fairy tale romance and trying not to think about the inevitability of marriage (or how finicky her attraction to boys is in the first place), it feels like her whole world is about to cave in. She’d do anything to make sure her parents, especially daddy, never find out... including buying an edible super computer from the loudest, tiniest guy in school.
End of summary.
Alright!
Hi, hello, it’s Mod Seb, and here’s an AU I’ve been rolling around for a few days! You are free to do with this concept whatever you want, but I wanted to introduce it with a good chunk of the info I’ve already worked out in my head.
So. As the CWs are... too numerous, I’m going to go with a blanket “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” label and encourage you not to read the rest of this if you have any big darkfic triggers that could be upset by mere mention; this isn’t a fic tho, so descriptions of anything awful won’t last long. 
Although, I will mention upfront that Brooke isn’t a binary lesbian. I know the description might read like I’m setting her up to be 100% homosexual; she’s bi with a strong preference for girls, and anyone who presents soft enough in gender or appearance. If it wasn’t for the end-game pairings, her unfamiliarity with smaller details/history of the LGBTQ+ community, and general “gay newb” status, she’d likely ID as a bi lesbian!
(ships and everything else under the Read More)
Okay. That out of the way, there’s quite a number of pairings; I’m pretty sure it’s a super polyamorous and sexual AU, though you’re free to change this list as much as you’d like:
[bolded are end-game ships. italics physically hook up at least once. strike-through means they were in a relationship but break-up in some way before the ending. (H) stands for healthy, while (T) is toxic and/or noncon. underlined characters are pining for the other and may never confess their true feelings]
Brooke/Christine (H), Brooke/Rich (H), Brooke/Jenna (H), Brooke/Michael (H), Brooke/Chloe (T), Brooke/her Daddy (T), Brooke/Squip (H), Brooke/Jeremy (soft T at first bc of mirrored canon-compliant manipulation, H later on), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy (H), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy/Rich (H), Rich/Moses (H), [insert every form of Rich/Mo/Squip/Jeremy here] (H), Jeremy/Chloe (T), Jeremy/Michael (H), Michael/Christine (H), Michael/Christine/Mr. Heere (H; no, seriously), Madeline/Brooke (H)
This is, of course, a role swap AU where Brooke and Jeremy trade places based on my personal lore for their home lives. I always have some pretty fucked ideas as I don’t imagine MB is a great place with great adults, and I pick and choose which parts of canons I use and which I don’t. 
There is no definite ending planned in mind as this isn’t an outline; it’s meta (or an imagine or w/e) for an AU that you’re free to do whatever with. 
So,
The big difference is that Brooke was picked by Michael, while Jeremy was picked by Chloe. Jeremy is trans and hadn’t come out yet; if Chloe had known he was a boy, she wouldn’t have grabbed him. In contrast, Michael’s never gave a shit about potential friends genders.
Jer and B’s personalities... are altered some. Not ALL the way, but kiiinda fusing into their roles, kinda tweaked (I'll get back to that).
The main point of this for me was Brooke/Squip/Jeremy, with B/Jer having a MUCH stronger focus than in canon, and a really bad Chloe acting as one of the major villains.
Michael gets roped into Chloe’s shit, even tho he's still generally a good guy here, bc he's worried about B and thinks she can't properly take care of herself.
While B DOES have a strong crush on Christine, she’s the opposite of the Squip’s “goal”; that’s (obvs) masking, or making passably digestible, her queerness.
Her Mom and step-’Daddy’ have reacted to her friendship w/ ‘openly gay moms, also very flamboyant and GNC’ Michael... poorly.
Michael thinks the solution has to be “act as aggressively yourself as you can, and if they reject you, you know me and the mom’s have a space for you”. This works for him bc he’s permanently hyper-visible, what with all of his own marginalized identities. But, not only has she flied under the radar in comparison to him for years, he doesn’t know everything about her life.
In fact, he doesn’t know most of it. She’s very good at hiding things.
Meanwhile, Jeremy, one of the more popular ‘boy... ish’ (we’ll get to this, too) people in school, is mid-psychosis and self-destruction. He actually has schizo-affective disorder--as is the case with all of my versions of Jeremy--which he needs medication for. Combined that with so many bad influences and trauma, he can no longer fully control himself or his life.
The way he handles this (badly) is to ‘whore around’--which, besides being Chloe’s pet, is kinda why he’s so popular. Nobody respects him, but he’s viewed some form of favorably.
Jeremy is in a relationship with Rich, but he won't let him get as close/protective as Rich wants; Mo and Rich were doing their own man-whoring (but healthy, just droppin’ panties and making dudes and chicks swoon--yeah, Rich is out as bisexual, this is a very ‘the Squips are a good thing’ AU) to gain their standard reputation, but in the course of that, they got together with Jeremy and it became... complicated. Both of them are very "nnn" about how bad his life is for Jer.
The way that their personalities are altered is... okay. To explain this, I have to talk about my characterization of canon-Brooke and Jeremy in relation to this, starting with Brooke:
I imagine B as just a liiittle below the line of "all the way there" for sorta-similar reasons to Jeremy here: trauma, and Chloe (which is why that’s what Jeremy gets in this, it’s just WAY worse when compounded by everything else). She’s also--like me, and like almost every character I write as a result--autistic, in a near-permanent state of “not enough accommodations” and over-stimulation. This leads to a lot of dissociation and a very wandering mind, as well as being perceived as a bimbo or dumb blonde or w/e misogynistic bullshit is projected onto her by the boys she dates (she’s also much more down the middle bi outside this AU).
So, going back to how she is for this AU: she's actually not super nerdy, despite the close connection she and Michael have. Honestly, it’s their general neurodivergent weirdness that bring them together, and so she’s mostly adopted her nerdy interests through him, whether directly a thing he likes, or finding a whimsical variant that fits her tastes.
Obviously, unlike Jeremy, she doesn’t mind being called a loser. She does any insinuation she might be queer. This including anyone who calls her gay or a dyke.
She has too much Cis Male Trauma (unlike canon, where it comes from both cis angles) to really entertain the idea of a Traditionally Male Partner. This means she skews HEAVILY towards hard GNC guys at the very least, and generally finds herself most interested in the idea of enbies and women. she's also not super into butches tho, bc her trauma mixing with her sexuality has latched on to Strong Masc People Are A Threat. 
An expansion on her interests, in canon and otherwise: animals, ASMR/sensual service work (including massages and stuff), spending hours just sorta sitting by herself and letting her imagination wander, fairy tales, and YA-and-under fantasy books.
(Here, she tries to avoid het or f/f romance... except that, this past year or two, she’s started really like m/m stuff--esp after getting REALLY into drag shows, which she could enjoy safely since girls like Chloe have gotten into them too; in canon, she’s a romance fanatic)
Now... this is one of the really darkfic element; she's fucking her step-dad. 
She does this so that he doesn't walk out on her, her mom, and her little sister*. Her mom has a good-enough job as a standard office woman, but he makes enough to pay the rent on their nice townhouse and all the bills she can’t. So, after he expressed interest in Brooke and then casually mentioned he could always just leave if she wasn’t comfortable, she reluctantly entered a relationship with him
(* = her sister is currently know as her brother; he’s like 12 or 13, and started showing signs of trans/queerness which have been Heavily Discouraged. Brooke worries about him a lot)
((I didn’t use she/her pronouns bc I’m not entirely sure he would change them? This is an OC Oli created at the beginning of our interest in BMC, and we haven’t worked on him at all since, so how his characterization will be is up in the air))
Canonically, Brooke's "in love" with her daddy, which is a self-imposed delusion; if she actually addressed it, she’d says she’s well aware that’s not true, but it's so much easier to pretend when you’re cornered like that. Brooke’s life blows.
She’s a lot more honest to herself about hating him here; still, she tries to be as polite and generally-friendly as she can, doing what he says whenever he wants.
OKAY, THAT’S BROOKE. If any of that is badly described or potentially-offensive, it’s just bc I glossed over SO MUCH DETAIL, even in that amount of it!
So. Jeremy.
I don’t have to go over him much and we’re all mostly aware of how I feel about him and also I don’t have the energy to do this again--
(just... read my fics The Devil at your Door or hello yesterday or something... eyyy actually do that, my ao3 username is Sedusa, blah blah blah ANYWAY)
--but basically: He's still very nerdy, like, he’s super into film as well as video games (which is another constant for me), but after being largely ignored in elementary, he's been trailing behind Chloe at her orders since they were in 6th grade. As a result he isn't very open about... any of his interests.
In 7th grade, he came out as trans to everyone. Chloe was furious, but at the same time, intrigued; this was around the time Chloe gets her own... ah shit I gotta go into that too--
--yet another hc of mine is that Chloe gets a Squip on accident around this time at a party (there was one in a “”candy bowl””), and from there, she claws her way up the ladder. I... will not go into that much, but her Squip was crippled by the drugs and alcohol in her system, and therefore largely at her mercy. She’s used his power to manipulate certain things about herself and to sharpen her focus on popularity to the point she’s full-blown Alpha Bitch.
Man, I’ve had to go on so many tangents, I apologize.
Anyway, she drags Jeremy around as a punching bag. She constantly mocks Jeremy's transness, even though she usually calls him by his correct name and pronouns.
This has made the rest of the school follow her lead, hence why I said “boy-ish”; he’s popular, he’s technically ‘well liked’, but nobody really takes him seriously. This is compounded by Chloe’s refusal to let him dress in 'dorky' casual clothes, and, as he’s both too poor to afford designer clothes and also generally hates popular guy fashion, he has to wear the hyper femme clothing Chloe specifically tells him too/
As such, people call him a boy but largely see him as either an idiot, a slut, an attention seeker, or all of the above.
So of course, in Brooke's place, his neurodivergence is more prominent than ever; every day he slips further into this psychosis and self-infantilization haze, as his his mom leaving, his dad severely depressed, Chloe's sexual violence, and other repressed trauma (see: my fic hello yesterday on ao3) all weighing on him. This makes him INCREDIBLY regressed, like, all the time by Junior year.
And then Brooke's Squip (IE: canon Squip) falls in love with Jeremy extremely fucking hard. He pushes her to date him as a way to compromise on her queer desires, since Jeremy is technically a boy, and certainly a few other straight-ish girls have hooked up with him in the past.
WHEW. That is a fucking lot. To wrap this up, lemme go over the interpersonal relationships not already mentioned, and what directions I think it takes.
First off, Madeline has a more prominent role, as I quite like her tbh; she’s a sex worker, she has her own Squip, she’s one of Chloe’s most hated enemies, and she gravitates towards both Brooke and Jeremy. She’s also Actually French, Chloe’s just weird.
(Anyway she prolly sees through Brooke’s straight act and asks her why she’s pretending to be a good little cishet. It rattles Brooke.)
Chloe is scum. This bears repeating. She DEFINITELY rapes Brooke at the Halloween party, and becomes obsessed with her, along with already being obsessed with Jeremy and Jake. 
Jake, by the way, has a lot of regressive behavior and impulsiveness bc he’s been in an abusive relationship off and on with Chloe for years now.
Speaking of Jake, moving on to his best bro: Rich doesn’t set himself on fire. He’s having a good time with his Squip.
But.
He IS set on fire at the Halloween party.
Instead of the Smartphone Hour being about Rich's instability, it's actually about the mystery of Someone Did It To Him But No One Saw Who It Was, They Were Disguised.
The answer relates to the fact that Rich and Brooke are ALSO hooking up, after she’s already with Jeremy, bc he Properly introduces her to him and the three of them hit it off really well.
(She initially wasn’t interested, but while Rich is loud and still kinda abrasive, his Squip doesn’t drive him to act like a bully--and in private, his nerdiness is really obvious and he’s extremely gentle with her and Jeremy. Add to that that he’s bi and trans*, when Brooke connects best w/ queer men over cishet one, and it off-sets his masc-ness enough to make him an Exception.
* = I always imagine him as trans. See: all of Vanceypants fics.)
Sooo... the culprit is actually Brooke's daddy, who sees her with this obvious heartthrob and Cannot let that be.
Chloe convinces Michael that the Squips are Very Very Bad and has him team up with her to force Brooke into drinking Red, with the intention to convince him to kill himself after to get him out of the way, bc she’s really going nuts at this point.
Eventually, he snaps out of it when he and Christine get together (he’s thought he was Full Homo all of his life, but Christine’s prolly genderqueer-ness makes him realize “oh shit, I’m bisexual”) and she starts to question why he’s acting the way he is towards Christine.
He also definitely has a crush on Jeremy and during his time with Chloe he kinda tried to flirt a little but couldn’t really... he’s not up for dating someone as sexually active and a push-over as Jeremy is in this.
However, when he snaps out of Chloe’s manipulation, he and Christine approach Mr. Heere to convince him to straighten up and help Jeremy and also bc they really need an adult to successfully fight Chloe.
This requires a month+ of Christine getting him to see her psychiatrist (the one who prescribes her ADHD meds). Jeremy spends the majority of his time staying with Chloe, and very rarely comes home to gather things or to make sure his dad is eating/still alive, as much as he can remember to in his own haze of mental illness. Anyway, point is, he doesn’t know Christine and Michael are there often... not that, in the course of growing close to Mr. H, they both fall for him hard and it becomes one of my stranger OT3s.
(God, Jeremy goes through a lot of shit in this, tho.)
Pre-Squip, Jenna was kinda-sorta Brooke’s friend--or, well, friendly. However, she’s actually full blown “oh my God she’s wonderful” in love with Brooke.
Brooke isn't aware of that, esp since Jenna tries her not to be around her a lot. She's also trying to hide her own queerness, bc she’s a trans woman and she knows Chloe finding that out would be extremely dangerous.
Eventually, Chloe succeeds in making Brooke take the Red months after canon usually ends, w/o Michael’s help. If you’re curious, Red doesn’t affect her normal Squip bc she’s had him too long and a lot of his receptors and stuff are damaged, so it’s the second one she gets in canon that turns off.
This plan backfires, however, as Brooke’s Squip comes back with a physical body w/ help from Rich and also-bodied-now Moses.
With a body, and shenanigans, Mo and Squip take out Brooke’s daddy too. His life insurance more than makes up for the loss of his income, as it’s a sizable amount. Now that Brooke feels more empowered and strong, she overrides her mother’s neglectfulness and takes control of the household w/ her boyfriends*, comes out as queer, helps her sister transition, and begin to heal from all of this trauma.
(* = Rich and Mo move in, as does Jeremy eventually, after graduation; Jeremy gets a psychiatrist and a therapist and prolly has to go through some intense outpatient care and possibly a stay in the hospital, before finally making major breakthroughs and looking like himself again. The five of them are now happy and in love.)
Chloe, after her arm gets twisted by the Squip’s protective presence so thoroughly, gives up on Jeremy and Brooke to focus on Jake. This too gets abandoned when Rich and Mo help him cut her off, and so she stays in her own popularity bubble, bitter, until graduating and going to a community college in a different state.
All in all, things work out well in the end, but getting there is a long, difficult process. This AU fascinates me immensely and feels like a great way to examine some of my really dark headcanons about MB, as I think it’s a town similar to Derry in Stephen King’s IT--as in, just chronically The Worst Place Ever, with this, like, miasma of low-key despair around it. People adjust and don’t question it, which is why so much of BMC is this flippant dark humor in the face of some highly questionable shit.
I’m so sorry this post is so long (I’ll be uploading it to AU under my usual Sedusa account, as metas like this are more than allowed), but I really adore these characters and the way they can be twisted around, so I had a lot to say!
Thank you for reading <3
-mod Seb
image description: virtual-like stairs pointed forward and bathed in neon yellow and blue to represent Brook and Jeremy, which I’ve modified from the original blue-only design.
source: x (link description: a free Wallpaper Flare image that I found off Google Image’s “filtered by ‘labeled and reuse with modification” feature) 
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azoreaneve · 4 years
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The fucking Epilogues, tales of dubious coherence
I’ve ranted about The Epilogues in general but I figured it would be ideal to make a rant just for the characters because ooo boy this is the biggest reason most of us end up disliking these fanfictions.
   🍬&🍖 John: honestly actually came out okay. Him becoming depressed made sense and serves as a reason why he’s not reaching out to everyone nowhere near as much as he did. Was okay and I liked him.
  🍬Jade: oh god, why did she suddenly become such a bitch?? (no pun intended) They blame it on the doggie hormones but, ugh, that still does not excuse how she suddenly becomes blind to Dave and KK’s discomfort! I find it easier to imagine she was pretending to be blind, no one is that stupid, not to the point of marriage and discussing kids. Even grimbark Jade was nicer! Also she doesn’t have a tail in the canon and yet here she does??
   🍖Jade: well she's gone for the most part, if that's how you avoid the 🍬 bs then so be it...
   Rose: while she’s sick she still seems like our Rose. Afterwards, in 🍬 she just becomes this distant figure and we don’t hear that much about her? It’s the ghost of Rose: someone who now only cares about her marriage I guess. And in 🍖 it's just, such a fucking pain to read her sections, and it's not even mostly because of her but, ugh!
 Dave: he literally went back into the closet??? I’m pretty sure by the end of the canon he had accepted he was gay/bi now but I guess that was thrown out the window. He also has a huge obsession with Obama that I don’t recall being a thing before? On 🍬 he can’t stand up for himself when it comes to the Jade situation and just has a pseudo-shit life, haunted by the “what could have been”s. Then at the end, on a sequence that completely came out of left field, he legit meets Obama, confesses to being gay to him, and is made to ascent to his Ultimate Self when there were no prior signs of that ever becoming a thing (no sickness, no mention of being aware of his other versions, very wtf). In 🍖 they do show these signs and DaveKat becomes this kinda weird thing that exists. Idk but this Dave didn't concern me that much. I was probably getting a bit too jaded at that point, after dealing with all the 🍬 nonsense.
   Jane: I don't really see her wanting to become this bitchy bossy corporate bitch as she grows up but I wouldn't mark it as impossible. I can even shrug at her wanting to regulate troll reproduction but raping Jake and then dragging him into an abusive household in 🍬?? Enstating some dystopian corporate fascism, pretty much following the steps of the Condesce?? HAVING SEX WITH GAMZEE??? And even keeping him at home like he’s part of the family now and giving him (her?) milk?? That whole plotline was more intense than most darkfics I’ve read, holy shit. Jane had already gotten the shaft in canon with a bunch of her plot points going nowhere, like her planet quest, or her whole detective thing getting ditched, and she spent a lot of time being possessed by a computer so in the end was not surprised to see her get the shaft again. We see much less of her in 🍖 but she's like the same character there.
   🍬&🍖Jake: he started becoming a punching bag at the end of canon and grew up to become Jane and/or Dirk’s punching bag, wow. I’m greatly distraught at how much his almighty ass is talked about, and yet we see NONE of it! NADA! Would have also liked to see Brain Ghost Dirk make an appearance. No way Jake was dealing with all his shit without occasionally meeting him.
   🍬Roxy: whatever happened here, that was not fucking Roxy wtf, that was an empty ghost of a person who, at the very end when she reconciles with John, started sounding like Roxy again. What an absolute shame.
   🍖Roxy: they are kinda okay at first, when with Callie, but then they become a he and he reminds me a lot of Tumblr transtrender groups because he's just kinda mimicking Dave, like Roxy's got no personality of his own. I want to believe he just didn't find himself properly yet. This is far from the canon Roxy, especially when he says all that shit about societal gender expectations? Like, bitch, the chesspeople weren't judging the way you dressed and acted wtf.
   🍬&🍖Dirk: more Dirk splinters should practice their 3rd favourite hobby of decapitation. It was fun to have him take over the narrative at first in Meat but he just spiralled down into a huge douche, sometimes straight up sounding like Caliborn. Don’t you miss when Dirk was just a lost kid wanting to become a better person? Don't you miss it when he wasn't such a massively insufferable pretentious cunt?
   🍬Kanaya: Kanaya definitively exists. She feels like she was washed off of some of her charm. Otherwise not much to say, we also don’t go into much detail on her.
   🍖Kanaya: she was turned into an annoying worried wife. Wow. And then gets tricked just like that. Hey remember when Kanaya's personality didn't revolve around her wife? I miss that.
   🍬&🍖Beep-beep-meow: he's annoyingly more PC (not the only one but since it was Karkat, known for shouting rude shit at everyone, he was the more grating case). Overall they don't do much with him and he just loses a but of his shine in both cases.
   🍬&🍖Terezi: she got the bad ending, what else is there to say? I did like her tho. She's still not taking much shit, not even from the prince.
   🍬Gamzee: oh you mean the clown that haunted the fuck out of 🍬 and made some of it both hilarious and extremelly disgusting? Yeah that was someone wearing the skin of Gamzee for sure.
   🍬Vriska: I'm just so fucking tired of Vriska. I get that people love her but I couldn't care less about her. At least she's making comedy now in HS^2 instead of being just a bitch.
   🍬Aradia: eh she's fine and having fun.
   🍬Sollux: ffs why did they have to bring the worse and more useless pre-retcon Sollux. I fucking love Sollux and want to see the version of him that isn't always brooding and can't do shit. I want the post-retcon Sollux who's a cool guy half the time. And then at the end he gets abandoned because honestly? Maybe that's what pre-retcon Sollux fucking deserves.
   🍬&🍖 Calliope: I hope you enjoyed seeing like 0.5s of alpha Callie before they hide away forever because of scary Callie, who becomes hella annoying in 🍖.
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