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naughtyneganjdm · 4 years

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The Mistress - Chapter 48

Summary: When Negan helps Lydia and ends up getting in trouble after accidentally killing someone, the reader does what she can to try and help him so he doesn't end up hurt.

Characters: Reader, Negan, Ethan, Logan, Aaron, Daryl, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, and a lot of tension.

Notes: If you still like this story, give me some love and comment. It may be a boring story and I apologize for that, but I'm doing my best. Thanks for reading. This is for the anonymous that asked me for this story. I know you wanted it badly, so it’s for you.

It was late into the night and you found yourself sitting alone in the living room in your home. The silence was something that often got to you during the nights, but you did your best to get through it. It was exceedingly lonely being up at night, but it was a feeling you had grown used to over the last ten years.

The boys were upstairs sleeping and you just couldn’t fall asleep. You attempted to force yourself to sleep for a while, but it wasn’t happening. Your mind always was lingering to places you knew it shouldn’t have been, so you got up. With everything that had been happening with Alexandria, Negan and the Whisperers, you found yourself worried about everything that had been going on.

You should have been sleeping with how much you were working lately, but your mind was in a state of it couldn’t turn off. You would have thought that after all the hard work you had done, it would have been easy to sleep, but it wasn’t. People were getting unexpectedly sick in Alexandria and you were doing your best to help Siddiq and Dante.

A sense of boredom struck you and you reached for the book that was on the coffee table. You were surprised how much reading you had been doing since you had the boys. Negan was reading a lot of books and would make suggestions on what he thought you might like to read. So, the both of you would often go back and forth making suggestions to one another trading off books. It was kind of boring being alone, so sometimes a good book would be able to keep your mind on something else if only for a little while. Obviously, Negan had nothing he could do so he was appreciative when they started bringing him books to read during his time in the cell. It was something normal that the two of you could connect with.

It wasn’t long into you reading when you heard loud, upset sounds coming from outside your home. It wouldn’t surprise you if it was another fight. The people in Alexandria would always get in fights and for the most part you minded your own business and you kept your nose out of it.

When the sounds grew louder and it seemed like more people were taking part, it finally drew your attention. Setting the book down, you could make out someone saying something about someone being dead and you knew it was bad by how loud people were being.

When the sound of one of the doors opening upstairs was heard, you looked up to see Ethan standing at the railing to look over. Clearly the sound had awoken him and you pointed back toward his room after setting the book down.

“I’m going to go check things out. Make sure you watch your brother,” you ordered and Ethan nodded before heading back toward the room to do what you had told him. Originally you had the boys separated in their own rooms, but Logan had gotten nervous at night and Ethan offered to let Logan sleep in his bedroom to help him feel safe at night. Of course, Logan had agreed immediately and now you were actually happy that they had done that. It meant they were both in a safe spot together while you figured out what was going on.

Heading outside, you followed the ruckus and saw a group of people surrounding something. In the distance you could see that Negan was standing at the edge of the group with his hands tied together. Noticing the people of Alexandria screaming and cussing at Negan, you felt your heart skip a beat in your chest and immediately thought the worst.

Stepping forward you saw a body and blood. Your eyes surveyed the area and saw that Lydia was on the ground crying, clearly injured. Dropping down, you moved in beside Daryl who was also checking on her to get a look at her. You had been trained over the last decade to be a doctor, so your initial instinct was to check on her first since she was a child.

“I’ve got her,” Daryl almost snapped at you and you got back up, realizing that he didn’t want you anywhere near her.

“Negan fucking killed her,” one of the younger Alexandrians muttered and your gaze met Negan’s. Immediately, you knew there was trouble and you didn’t know how to respond. Negan attempted to move toward you, but he was shoved back firmly. You could hear the pleas of Lydia saying that Negan helped her and you could see Negan’s expression clearly upset.

“What happened?” you attempted to step forward to talk to Negan, but they kept you distanced from him.

“Get him out of here,” Daryl’s voice boomed through the crowd and you looked over your shoulder to see him helping Lydia up.

“Hey, hold on…” you tried to beg, but Brandon was leading Negan through the crowd and you felt someone shoving you aside. A grunt fell from your throat at the force someone had shoved you. It was unsure who had done it, but it was clearly purposeful.

There was no way you were going to be able to talk to Negan to find out what happened so you eagerly moved through the group. Spotting Aaron, you stepped forward and saw the glare that he gave you making you take in a sharp breath.

“I told you that guy was bad news,” Aaron snapped at you, stepping back and away from you. “He killed her.”

“What do you mean he killed her? Negan wouldn’t just kill someone. Especially a woman,” you defended Negan feeling your heart pounding inside of your chest and you didn’t know how to respond to things. “Aaron. I know Negan better than anyone.”

“I don’t want to hear it from you,” Aaron pushed away from you when he was clearly frustrated with what you were saying. The way at which your ‘friend’ shunned you in the moment shocked you. Aaron was your friend, so to have that happen made you extremely upset.

You were eager to find out what happened and it was strange that you had to learn from someone you barely knew in Alexandria that Negan helped Lydia after she was being attacked by a group of people that almost killed her. The death was apparently an accident. That alone made you wonder why people were so worked up by all of this. Yes, it was bad, but they were trying to kill a child.

You could see Dante and Siddiq working on the body and really that was the last thing you cared about even knowing that was your job. Moving through the crowd, you went to Daryl while he was talking to Lydia and holing her up.

Your chest ached. Daryl already told you to get away, but you had to do something for Negan. It would most certainly be an awkward encounter considering you and Daryl rarely spoke in general. The last time the two of you connected on any kind of level was when Logan was born which was about eight years ago.

“Daryl, you have to listen to Lydia. You know Negan wouldn’t do this,” you tried to reason with Daryl and you were met with the cold, blue eyed stare of Daryl who was frustrated that you even attempted to talk to him at the time. “Daryl, please.”

“She’s right. He was just trying to protect me,” Lydia defended what you were saying and you were hopeful that since Daryl was there and the people of Alexandria tended to look up to him that they would just listen. “He didn’t mean to hurt that woman. He was just trying to keep them from killing me, which they would have done.”

“You’re just a kid, you don’t know what you are talking about,” Daryl stammered and you felt your heart sinking hearing those words come from Daryl’s mouth. When Daryl looked to you again, you could see the disgust he had for you. “I don’t want to hear it from you Y/N. You are biased and the last thing I need is another biased opinion of Negan on this.”

“You have to be kidding right. How am I biased when I’m the person that knows Negan the most? I know what he would do and what he would not do. He would not just kill some woman, unless there was a cause. You know this was an accident, but she was trying to kill Lydia. Daryl, you have to realize that,” you begged, but Daryl pushed through you and you were surprised at how many people had already done that tonight. You were speaking on deaf ears and no one would work with you to know what the future of Negan would be.

It took hours before you could finally sneak in by Negan’s window to even talk to him. They took this whole thing serious and they wanted you nowhere near Negan.

There was talk that the council was getting together to vote on Negan’s fate. You couldn’t believe that the life of your husband was being voted upon by a council of people who were already biased toward him anyways. Negan saved someone from being killed and this was the outcome? Hell, it was a fucking child.

With them not allowing you to be near Negan, you had to sneak in when you could. You waited for the perfect moment for the guard to move away from the door. It took quite some time, but your stare was locked on Negan’s cell. When he moved, you swiftly moved to the window to Negan’s cell. As Negan spotted you, you watched him quickly get up from his bed when he saw you. Negan hopped up on something and grabbed the bars, his eyes desperately hooked on yours. The look he was giving you, broke you.

“They are going to kill me, aren’t they?” Negan’s voice came out in a shuddering breath. His hand reached out for yours and you hooked your fingers around his, squeezing them tight. You looked around the area to make sure you were alone and you shrugged. How were you supposed to answer that? You only heard people muttering rumors, but no one was really going to talk to you about this. They were going to do everything to keep you out of this. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I heard they are voting on it,” you explained not sure what to say. Your mind was full of so much and you couldn’t even begin to think of how to help Negan. “This is so wrong Negan.”

“I fell for all of this bullshit. I thought by being here it would keep my family safe. That if I did good and I did what they asked we would be able to live here peacefully,” Negan muttered with an upset breath. “I bought this bullshit and thought if I was a good person…that if I did the right thing…”

“You did the right thing Negan,” you tried to reason with him. You knew Negan had grown close with Lydia. She was getting similar treatment as Ethan and you kind of assumed that’s what drew Negan to Lydia. When he noticed her being singled out, he was eager to help her and be kind to her. This was the right thing for him to do, so his death being in question was ridiculous. “This on them. They were looking for a reason to throw this on you. They were looking to attack you when you were down. You saved that girl’s life. If they killed you, it wouldn’t make things right. It would only make them wrong.”

“But it would make so many people here happy,” Negan pointed out with a heavy frown, his eyes looking beyond you to make sure that you were safe there with him. “You have to do me a favor.”

“What’s that?” you reached out to touch his face between the bars. Negan leaned into your touch and let out a nervous breath.

“If they hang me…” Negan began, his eyebrows tightening together while he spoke. Those words immediately made you feel like your body was shutting down. God, you didn’t even think that far ahead. “Please…please don’t let the boys see. Make sure they are as far away as possible.”

“That’s not going to happen,” you refused feeling your emotions getting the better of you when you saw Negan’s eyes tearing over. It was clear that he really thought he was going to end up being killed and you were desperate to make sure that didn’t happen. “I would never let that happen.”

“I don’t think you have a choice baby,” Negan reasoned with you and you could see a single tear sliding down the side of his face. Negan was overwhelmed with what was happening. You learned his expressions being with him for as long as you had been. Often, he would just blow things off, but this was so serious. You both did whatever you could to keep your nose down and to avoid conflict, but this wasn’t a choice of keeping your head down. This was the choice of keeping a little girl alive or not and what Negan did was right. It was just a sad accident that someone took the wrong fall and was accidentally killed. “Whatever they decide, I don’t think things are going to be like they have been. I think…I don’t think good things Y/N. You have to take care of those boys. If they find out what happened…please let them know that I meant well. I’m not the monster that people are going to portray me to be.”

“They would never think you were a monster or believe those lies,” you attempted to tell him, but you could see that the color was draining from his face. You leaned in to meet him in a quick kiss and you caressed your hand in over the side of his face. “I’m going to do whatever I can to fix this.”

“There is nothing that you can do about this,” Negan repeated, his face twisting with agony over the idea of what they were having planned for him. “I guarantee so many of them already have their minds made up on this.”

“But it’s wrong. You were doing the right thing,” you insisted knowing that you wanted to break and fall apart in front of him, but you had to be the one that was strong. You still couldn’t help crying while he touched your face and there was a sadness over his face that told you he really thought this was the end for him. “Daryl is here and…”

“I don’t think he’s going to help,” Negan bit into his bottom lip and looked down. “He came down here because it’s clear that he thinks that I shouldn’t be put to death for this, but he mocked me with the idea of it. I think he was coming down here to try and find a reason why I should be dead. I don’t think he found it. I think he knows what I did was right. It was an accident. They all know it was an accident.”

“Then if he thinks that, it means it should help,” you claimed and his eyebrows perked up. “Daryl is a good man.”

“Daryl is one man,” Negan reminded you and he shook his head. “There is nothing that I can do other than wait. They say I’m going to be able to say my side of the story, but it doesn’t matter what I say because they all made their choice long before I even get my chance to explain. Plus, that girl deserved to die. She was beating on a fucking kid. The world won’t miss her. Who the hell does that?”

“You can’t say that though Negan if you are allowed to speak. I completely agree with you, but you have to appeal to their humanity,” you stated with a firm tone knowing that Negan had a bad habit of mouth vomiting whatever it was that he was thinking. “You have to say you were sorry and stress why it happened. That you saved a child.”

“But I’m not sorry Y/N. I’m not sorry at all. If I wouldn’t have helped Lydia, would our boy have been next? Would Ethan have been their next target?” Negan spouted off and those words hit you hard. Negan wasn’t wrong. Especially after all Ethan had told you. “That boy that took part in it, he’s one of the ones that picks on Ethan. The group was out for blood. They would have killed her if it wasn’t for me. If she was still there to urge the two morons, she could have taken them to our boy next. The world is better off without her and no one will miss her, but those two morons. They are just using her as an excuse to get rid of me.”

“Then say something like that, but not so forward,” you begged, but Negan’s jaw locked up and he looked out in the distance toward the people of Alexandria. “The boys and I can’t lose you Negan. We need you to do whatever you have to in order to stay alive for us.”

“I’m trying. I’ve been trying this whole time,” Negan grumbled, his tired eyes meeting yours again. “I do all of this for you and the boys. I just know that I can’t convince someone who has already made up their mind that I don’t deserve to live. They wanted blood and mine is the one they want to spill. They think this is the first chance they’ve had since Rick disappeared to get me. Rick isn’t here to keep me safe and they know that.”

“I will talk to people,” you repeated an earlier thought and Negan tilted his head to the side.

“You have to be careful who you talk to. You know that people here are dangerous. The last thing I need is them taking their shit out on you because of me,” Negan denied your thoughts, but you couldn’t help it. You needed to talk to someone. Out of the corner of your eye you could see the guard returning and Negan frowned. Who knew when you would be able to speak to Negan again? “Please, just…do what I asked of you with the boys if it comes to that.”

“It won’t come to that,” you promised, leaning in to press another quick kiss against his lips to have that last moment of interaction because you didn’t know what would happen next. “I’m going to do what I can to help you. I promise.”

“Just be safe,” Negan stepped down from where he was and you scrambled to your feet. Walking down the street near your home, you saw Aaron stepping out of his house and approached him.

“I don’t want to see you right now,” Aaron warned trying to move around you when he saw you moving up before his porch, but you stepped up on the steps to block him in. “Anything you have to say, right now is not the time for it.”

“No, now is the perfect time for it. I know you are going to go into that meeting and suggest they kill Negan,” you firmly replied catching Aaron’s blue eyes narrowing out at you. His jaw locked up and you could tell that you were right. “After everything he did to save you the other day you are still going to throw him under the bus and try to get him killed.”

“He’s a horrible, awful man Y/N,” Aaron scowled, the lines in his forehead creasing when he spoke to you. “He didn’t deserve to be here in the first place. He should have died on that hill when Rick cut his throat.”

“So, you’re saying that my kids don’t belong here?” you shoved into Aaron’s chest and you watched Aaron stammer for words. “I thought you were my friend. I thought you cared about my family, but you’re so desperately wanting to take my children’s father away from them. What if it was Gracie that those three were attacking, huh? Gracie came from a place just like Lydia did.”

“Don’t use my daughter as an example to make me feel bad,” Aaron grumbled, a sound of irritation filtering through the air. “I can’t believe you would even attempt that on me.”

“You just don’t want to hear it because you know I’m right. There are a group of people here that want to destroy everyone that they don’t see fit. Your child, my children, Lydia. They are all innocent children that are being singled out for stupid reasons,” you reasoned with Aaron, but he was so stubborn it was clear he was trying to ignore you. “I know you are hurting from loss right now. With The Whisperers killing Jesus, I know how you felt about him. I know how you both felt about each other. It made a rage build up inside of you and likely reminded you of your loss with Eric, but Negan didn’t kill Eric.”

“No, but his people did,” Aaron snorted and his jaw tensed up when he said it. “I was there when he killed Abraham and Glenn. He’s a monster.”

“That’s not the same man in there anymore and you know that. Killing him will make you no better than the man you claim he is,” you snapped on the man you thought was your friend, but you were learning more and more that he wasn’t. “You know what he did was right in saving Lydia. You know that he wasn’t wrong in protecting Lydia and you sure as fuck know it was an accident. You are just taking advantage of the situation and moment.”

“I know that man is a monster. I always knew that he was,” Aaron shook his head and he bit back on his emotions while he looked at you. “This is just a moment where he was in the right place at the right time taking advantage of what he does best. It won’t stop at her. Negan will keep killing.”

“You know that’s not Negan’s motto. Especially not now, but not even then when he was darker than he is now,” you reminded Aaron and you felt your body tensing up. “Do I have to remind you why that moment with Abraham and Glenn even happened in the first place?”

“Don’t you even start,” Aaron tried to push around you, but your hands firmly shoved into the center of his chest.

“You don’t want to hear it because you know I’m right. It happened because you and the rest of the crew went in and killed of Negan’s men while they were sleeping. Was it right what Negan did? No, but what made any of you any better?” you yelled, catching the face that Aaron made. Your friendship with Aaron was done after this and you no longer wanted anything to do with the man standing in front of you. “You are so eager to point fingers when it’s someone you hate, but when it’s you or someone you care about, it’s easy to forget. You’re a fucking hypocrite Aaron. When people come for you for something you may have done wrong, I hope people show you sympathy and empathy in the areas you aren’t showing Negan or my family.”

“You know I love you and the boys like my own family,” Aaron scoffed and you shook your head. That was a fucking lie. No one who loved you or your children would ever attempt something like this on the man that made your family whole.

“No, if you loved us you wouldn’t take the thing that means the most to my boys away from them. What we talked about here is not going to make you change your mind,” you bit back your emotions and stepped away from Aaron. “As far as I’m concerned, I don’t even know who you are and I don’t care to any further.”

“You are blinded by him Y/N,” Aaron tried to reason with you as he stepped off his porch and followed you toward your home. “You think because you got pregnant with his children that he is something special. You had a chance at happiness with Daryl and you fucking ruined it for a manipulative piece of shit that uses your boys to make people feel bad for him. Negan did what he knew he had to do in order to get people to empathize with him. If he had two children, two young boys that would break if he was dead…then people would do what they could to keep him from dying.”

“Negan loves his family,” you cut him off, turning to face him. Poking Aaron firmly in the chest, you were doing your best to hold your anger in. “Ethan and Logan are everything to him.”

“Because they are his ticket out of everything!” Aaron snapped and his angered tone filled the air. “Do you think if Negan would have won this war that Negan would still be with you? Negan is still with you because you are the only person that is left. From the moment Negan could, he would use his kids as a topic of discussion when someone could come into the cell.”

“He’s proud of his boys,” you stated feeling your firsts clenching at your side.

“No, he’s not honey. He’s a manipulator. He knows that you will fight for him until the end of time. You guys have a bond because you had children together,” Aaron almost mocked you and you hoped that the boys were nowhere near this to be able to hear Aaron running his mouth off on their father. “Negan throws his boys around in people’s faces because he knows that people will see him as a loving, doting father. One that shouldn’t be dead because his boys need him. The first chance he got to be something, to lead something again he would leave the three of you behind in the dust. He doesn’t give a shit about you.”

“You’re bold,” you bit down on your bottom lip wanting to strike Aaron more than anything, but you were trying to keep your anger down. The last thing you needed was Aaron making a deal about you assaulting him and the boys getting both of their parents taken from them. “You’re a shit friend.”

“I’m a logical friend,” Aaron muttered with a simple shrug, “the best thing that could ever happen for you and the boys is Negan being gone.”

“You’ve seen Ethan,” you thought back to how Aaron had been with them several times when Ethan’s excitement with being around Negan had been. “He loves Negan more than anything.”

“And Negan made sure of that. So much so that your boy will defend him like the air he breathes which is the reason why the negative attention has been drawn to him,” Aaron snorted, his eyes narrowing at you. “Negan is using your little boy to get people to feel bad for him.”

“I’m not going to listen to this,” you felt your body shaking and you stepped back toward the steps. “I hope you can explain to my boys if something happens to their father why you decided he was better off dead. In a way that children can understand because I’ll make sure they know you are part of the reason Negan was killed.”

“That’s not fair and you know it,” Aaron grunted, but you moved up the steps to your house and slammed the door shut.

You wondered what you were going to tell your children. The last time you saw them was in the morning to tell them that you would be back soon. They had no idea what was going on with their father and you didn’t even know what to do at this point. You wanted to break down. You wanted to have faith that the people of Alexandria had a heart and common sense to know that what happened with Negan was an accident, but you lost faith in people a very long time ago. Aaron confirmed your reasoning for feeling that way too.

The next time you saw Daryl, you just prayed that maybe he would be able to help you and your family. There had to be something there from all those years ago that could help you help Negan. Daryl got angry with you for picking Negan over him, but you hoped that maybe there was still some kind of feelings left over that would make Daryl understand your plea.

Until then you would just have to go back to the boys and hope that the best would come from it, not the worst.

-----

Shifting in bed, you looked to the time and knew that you were miserable. You hadn’t slept in so long. It was the middle of the night and all you could think about was Negan and what they were going to do to him if they decided he didn’t deserve to live. How could you sleep with that heavy on your mind?

Letting out a nervous sound, you shifted into a sitting position when you heard something knock over downstairs. It wasn’t super loud, but it was enough to alert you someone was potentially in your house. It made you in fear for your life and the boys after what Negan had done. You just assumed anyone that knew that Negan was the father of the boys might come after the three of you for revenge. You wouldn’t put it past some of the people in Alexandria.

Reaching for the nightstand, you pulled open the drawer and reached for the gun that was there. Moving down the steps you had your gun up and raised to meet whatever you had to.

Stepping into the living room, you surveyed the dark room until you felt the warmth of a hand being wrapped around your mouth causing you to let out a scared breath. They pulled you back to their chest and you lifted the gun, but the large hand covered yours to keep you from bringing it up.

“Don’t shoot,” Negan’s warm breath pressed in over the side of your face making you look up to see past the small amount of light that was filling the room that it was Negan that was holding onto you. Turning in his arms, you let him grab a hold of the gun and you reached to wrap your arms around his neck to hold him tight. “I’m glad you’re ready to kill anyone that comes in here though.”

“What are you doing? How did you get out?” you stared out at him, reaching up to caress over the sides of his face. Negan was extremely pale and you could sense this wasn’t one of those moments where Gabriel gave him a place to go for a while. “Are you safe here?”

“For right now. Technically I’m supposed to get the fuck out of here, but I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to you and the boys,” Negan explained, clearing his throat while he stared out at you. Negan looked to the gun you had that was in his hand. “Well it’s good to know you are willing to bust a cap into someone’s ass if they come after our family.”

“Things have been a little stressful,” you reminded Negan with a frown and he let out an upset sound. “What’s going on Negan? What do you mean you have to get the fuck out of here?”

“Listen, no one is ever going to accept me here. Not unless I do something big. Something that will make them forget what I did before,” Negan explained with a heavy breath, “You know if I stay here, they are likely going to kill me and we can’t have that.”

“What does that mean though?” you blurt out, still desperately trying to get an answer from him.

“That means someone came to me with an offer and I’m going to take it,” Negan replied with an overwhelmed expression. “I have to do something. Something that if it is done right, I will be able to live here with you and the boys without the fear. We don’t have to worry if someone will go after our boys.”

“How is that going to happen?” she tried to reason with him, reaching for his wrists to squeeze over them in a supportive grasp. “Negan if someone finds you out of your cell, especially now…I’m scared of what they will do.”

“Which is why I have to be fast and be gone by morning,” Negan insisted with a loud swallow. “They won’t find me. I’m far too good at getting out of a tight situation. You know that. You’ve always known that. I can protect myself from these people, but in order to stay alive and keep my family safe there is something I have to do.”

“What?” Y/N contemplated who came to him and released him. “You should tell me so I know what’s going on here.”

“No,” Negan refused and shook his head, biting at his bottom lip. His thick eyebrows were very expressive showing how upset he was with all the pressures that were going on around them. “The less you know, the safer you will be.”

“But for the sake of me and the boys…” she began, but Negan hushed her setting the gun down on the coffee table. He stepped forward and cupped her face in his hands tenderly. The rough caress of his thumbs drew across the sides of your face and it caused a chill to run down your spine.

“That’s why I’m doing this. I’m always going to be scared unless I do something to make people forget,” Negan repeated what he said earlier and you didn’t know what it was that he thought he could do for that to be the case. “The problem is that it is very dangerous…”

“Then don’t do it,” you suggested with a shuddering breath. You knew it was fear because of the way Negan was acting and you didn’t want something bad to happen to him. “I can go get the boys. We’ll take what we need and we will leave. We will go find a home for us and the boys where we can live on our own. We can settle down and just live alone.”

“Here the boys are guaranteed to have food every day. Here the boys and my wife have a roof over their heads. Here my boys can learn and defend themselves,” Negan listed off the good reasons for them to stay at Alexandria. “You have to understand that going out there…there are no guarantees. Our boys are still young. They can’t fight for themselves. We may or may not have a safe place to live. We might not have food. In order to make sure that my family has the protection they need, I have to make this work Y/N.”

“Right, but I don’t understand this Negan. We aren’t really that safe here either if people are this quick to snap,” you pointed out after what happened with Lydia. People were so quick to point fingers and yell murderer when it was a genuine accident that happened. “We can figure things out together. We always have and we always will.”

“I can’t gamble the life or my wife and my boys when I know here, they at least have the support they need,” Negan hushed you, continuing to brush his rough thumbs over the sides of your face. It caused you to shudder and you found yourself desperate for him to figure something out. “I just, I don’t want this to be goodbye, but in case something happens…”

“What are you doing?” you pulled back when Negan went to kiss you and you shook your head. “You can’t say that kind of shit to me. It makes it sound like you are going on a suicide mission. How do you think that will help me and the boys?”

“I can’t explain it, but it will make things better if it works,” Negan assured you and you felt him pulling you close so he could deposit a kiss over your lips. It felt like a very emotional kiss and you didn’t know how to respond to all of it. “Can we go see the boys?”

“They aren’t going to understand Negan because I don’t even understand,” you reasoned with him and Negan frowned. He slouched down to hug you loosely, his nose nuzzling against the side of your neck. “You can’t tell them that you might not come back and that it’s dangerous or could be goodbye.”

“I don’t lie to my boys,” Negan sighed against the side of your neck making you frown. “I need to be as honest with them as possible. If I tell them I am certainly coming back and I don’t, they will hate me forever.”

“They will be broken hearted forever if you don’t come back,” you snorted, knowing that this was driving you crazy. There had to be better options than whatever Negan had planned.

“It’s not like I don’t plan on coming back. I want to come back,” Negan hushed you and he brushed your hair back behind your ear while his eyes were locked on yours. “But I want to be able to come back and be able to be with my family. I want to be able to not be afraid for my life and afraid for my family’s lives.”

“I don’t think there is anything you could do that would ever make that happen,” you hated to be the realist here, but the people here were so eager to take down Negan that there was nothing you could see him doing helping the people here accept him. “You shouldn’t kill yourself to prove a point to these people that they won’t care about.”

“So, I should stay here and wait for them to hang me where my kids could see it and hear about it until the end of time?” Negan retorted with an angered breath and you felt your cheeks flushing over.

“You know that’s not what I want,” you hated when he would get like this. The boys and Negan were everything to you, so he knew that’s not what you were thinking. “I would rather us leave together and not have to have you risk your life for someone I don’t even trust here.”

“This person is important. If their words help us, I think it might work,” Negan attempted to convince you, but you weren’t trusting of anyone here. “I would rather put my own life on the line than put my entire family’s lives on the line. You have to understand where I am coming from here. You asked me to do whatever I could to try and survive for you and the boys. This is my one shot. This is the closest thing I could get to surviving.”

“I don’t want something to happen to you Negan,” you pointed out with a small whimper worried about the unknown of what was going to happen to him if he left. “I can’t have these people hurt you, but whatever you have planned sounds bad.”

“It’s bad, but I think I can handle it,” Negan reached up to brush away the dampness over your cheek that had gotten there from you being overwhelmed from all of this. “Fuck, you know me. I’m a snake, I can always wiggle my way out of tight situations.”

“One day your luck is going to end though Negan and I don’t want to live to see that day,” you reminded him and Negan tipped down to press a long, lingering kiss over your lips. It made you go breathless and you just wished that things could be different. It was so hard having to live over a decade the way you had, but you should have never had to worry about him the way you were. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

“And I want to protect you,” Negan muttered against your lips, his forehead pressed to yours while his thumb caressed over your cheekbone. With his hazel eyes hooked on yours, you felt a chill spread down your spine and you swallowed down hard. “If I knew we had a place where it was guaranteed my children could eat and they would be safe, I would go there with you. I would have run away with you a long time ago, but nothing is for certain out there. Here, you guys have a chance at being protected and I’m going to do what I can to make that work for you.”

“I’m not going to change your mind, am I?” your lips parted and Negan smiled. You knew his answer, you didn’t even know why you asked it. “You’re so fucking stubborn.”

“As are you my love,” Negan snickered and stepped back slowly, his hands reaching for yours. “That’s why I fell in love with you.”

“I don’t know what to do here,” you gave up, looking away from Negan because the more you stared out at him the more you knew you would want to try to convince him to stay.

“Tell me you love me and take me upstairs to say goodbye for now to the boys,” Negan suggested reaching out to curl his finger in underneath your chin to get you to look at him. His right eyebrow arched and you felt your heart pounding inside of your chest. “Then, when I put them back to bed…you give me one last kiss to keep me fighting. That way I know what I have waiting for me at home.”

“You’re something else,” you sniffled realizing that he was making you cry and he stared out at you expectantly. “You know I love you.”

“I know and I love you too,” Negan tugged slightly on your hand leading you toward the stairs toward the boys’ room. When Negan opened the door to their room, you watched him lean against the doorframe to look at the both of them sleeping. There was a certain look in his eyes while he stared out at his boys. You couldn’t read it, but you saw him let out a shuddering breath and he looked to you with an expression you hadn’t quite seen. “I wish I was here for everything with them growing up. I wish life was normal and the two of us could have been the kind of parents these boys deserved.”

“Me too,” you confessed knowing that it was a dream of yours, but you knew it was never going to be an option.

The sound of someone shifting was heard and you looked out to see that Ethan was waking up. When he shot up in his bed at the sight of Negan, you watched Negan hold his finger up over his mouth to make sure that Ethan stayed quiet. Negan moved into the room carefully and you followed making sure to stay by the door enough to keep guard. The last thing you wanted was to get lost in a moment with your family and have someone come in after Negan.

“Dad?” Ethan muttered, scrambling to wrap his arms around Negan’s neck to hold onto him. “I heard things…I didn’t know if I would be seeing you again. I was scared.”

“I know, I was scared too, but we need to talk, okay?” Negan caressed his hand in over the back of his son’s head before Ethan pulled back to look at Negan who was starting to cry. The look Ethan gave him was confused as to why Negan was getting upset. “I need you to do me a favor.”

“Yeah,” Ethan nodded immediately and you knew he would do absolutely anything for his father.

“You know how much I love you, right?” Negan confirmed and Ethan’s hazel eyes were locked on his father’s.

“You know I do,” Ethan reached up to touch the side of his father’s face and a worried expression fell in over Ethan’s face. “I love you too dad.”

“You are everything to me,” Negan muttered, leaning in to press a loving kiss over Ethan’s forehead. When he pulled away you didn’t know if you had the strength to see your son get upset when Negan told him what he wanted. “You, your brother and your mama are my everything. Which is why I need to tell you that I’m leaving for a while.”

“Leaving?” Ethan repeated, his tone getting a bit stronger when he looked to you as if in search of some kind of answer. “Why? Where?”

“In order to keep all of you safe I have to do something and I have to leave Alexandria,” Negan informed Ethan and you watched Ethan begin to panic. “I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone and I’m sure you are going to hear things. Awful things about me…”

“No, why are you leaving?” Ethan denied, letting out a worried breath.

“I can’t tell you that,” Negan shook his head, biting down on his bottom lip firmly, “but I need you to be my good boy and take care of your mama and your brother. Okay? You are my brave little man and I need you to promise me that you are going to protect them.”

“Dad,” Ethan’s eyes started to tear over and he pulled the blankets away from his body, but Negan was still attempting to keep Ethan quiet. “If you’re going to leave, let’s go together. I hate it here.”

“We can’t do that,” Negan shook his head, his voice coming out broken, “Out there is dangerous.”

“But I’m a brave boy,” Ethan reminded Negan with a frown, “Remember? I’m strong.”

“You are and I know that, but out there is not safe. Here you are safe,” Negan hushed Ethan and it was clearly upsetting Ethan badly. “I know you want to go with me and trust me I want to be with you too…”

“Then take me,” Ethan interrupted Negan, his voice now loud enough to get Logan moving in his bed. “We can run away from here. We never have to see these people again.”

“I wish it worked like that Ethan, but it’s not going to happen. Here you have a house, food…out there you don’t have that,” Negan was honest with his son and reached out to brush Ethan’s messy hair out of his face. “You have to promise me what I asked you Ethan.”

“But…” Ethan went to bicker more and Negan gave him a sideways glance. “I promise dad. I just don’t understand.”

“Don’t understand what?” Logan yawned, lifting up in bed enough. He rubbed at his tired eyes before noticing that Negan was there. Logan swiftly pulled his blankets back and ran over to Negan to jump into Negan’s arms where he was sitting on Ethan’s bed.

“Dad is leaving,” Ethan answered and Logan pulled back to look at Negan. “He’s leaving the walls.”

“That’s dangerous,” Logan reminded Negan knowing what he had been told since he was a child. All these kids knew were what it was like inside the walls of Alexandria.

“I have to,” Negan grumbled, reaching for Ethan to pull him in closer to his chest so he could hug them both. He deposited a kiss on each of their heads before letting out a saddened sound. “I love the both of you so much and hopefully I’m back soon…”

“I love you too…” Logan was confused and he reached out to touch Negan’s face when he saw Negan crying. “Dad?”

“I have to go, but you both have to know how much you mean to me,” Negan heard Ethan crying and he squeezed Ethan in closer to him.

“Are you coming back?” Ethan pulled away from Negan to look up at him with worried eyes. When Negan didn’t answer, he shoved away from Negan and let out a hurt sound. “Say you are coming back.”

“I’m going to try,” Negan responded, swallowing down hard while taking notice that Logan just seemed happy to have him in his arms. “Ethan, this is for you.”

“If you don’t come back, how is that for me?” Ethan snorted, reaching up to wipe at his face. “I love you more than anything.”

“Which is why I have to do this and I’m going to do everything I can to get back to you. It’s why I need you to be the man of the house while I’m gone,” Negan requested and Ethan looked miserable, but he nodded. “I love you boys and I promise I will do my best to get back to you both.”

“I love you,” Logan wrapped his arms around Negan’s neck and hugged him close. “Please be safe.”

It was clear that Logan wasn’t grasping it as easily as Ethan was because he wasn’t as upset. It was obvious that he was picking up on Ethan being upset and knew that he should be upset, but he was more so caring for his father and eager just to get to say goodbye.

“Come here,” Negan waved his hand for Ethan after Logan pulled away and moved in beside you to cuddle his head in against your side. Ethan had his legs pulled up to his chest and he was still crying. “Ethan…”

“I don’t want to say goodbye,” Ethan refused and Negan gave him a desperate expression and Ethan shook his head. “Saying goodbye means it could be forever. You need to come back home. You need to be here for us. You just have to.”

“You’re not even going to hug me before I leave?” Negan frowned and Ethan didn’t answer, but he didn’t move either. Ethan’s reaction to it upset Negan, but he slowly got up and moved in to press a kiss against Ethan’s forehead. “I’m sorry I upset you Ethan, but I love you so much.”

Negan moved away from Ethan’s bed and reached for Logan to pick him up in his arms, “Now you, you have to be good, okay?”

“Okay,” Logan agreed with a bright smile leaning in to press a kiss over Negan’s cheek. Negan moved back toward Logan’s bed and placed him back in. He covered Logan with a blanket and tucked him in.

“Now I need you both to pretend like I wasn’t here. It will be keep me safe while I’m outside those walls,” Negan muttered, looking between both of his boys. Ethan simply nodded and Negan looked back to Logan.

“I promise,” Logan muttered, glancing over at Ethan again knowing that his big brother was upset. “Please come home.”

“I promise that I’m going to try,” Negan whispered, brushing his fingers through Logan’s short hair and he stood up from the bed. Negan looked at Ethan who seemed to refuse to look at him at this point. “I love you both so much.”

Negan turned to you and you could tell that Negan was breaking on the inside. When he moved out of the bedroom, he closed the door behind him and when he did, he immediately lowered his head against your shoulder. Instinctively you wrapped your arms around him and heard him crying. Ethan’s response to everything likely broke him and you couldn’t blame him.

“I’m so sorry I put all of this on you,” Negan apologized and you pressed a soft kiss over the side of his neck. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Just try to get home to us safely,” you urged Negan to look at you so you could kiss him one last time. Leading him down the stairs, you figured it would be the safest to have him sneak out the back door. Especially if they were already aware of him being gone.

The sound of the door being pulled open was heard when you both made it to the kitchen, “Dad, wait!”

Negan stopped when the sound of feet moving as quickly down the stairs as possible was heard. Ethan surveyed the living room before seeing you both in the kitchen and he ran as fast as he could to Negan who immediately grabbed Ethan in his arms to pick him up. Ethan wrapped his arms tightly around Negan’s neck like he’d never let him go. Negan let out a relieved sound and Ethan pressed a kiss against his father’s cheek.

“I was scared you left,” Ethan muttered with a winded sound while Negan desperately held onto him. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Negan pulled back, his eyes full of tears while he looked out at Ethan. “I upset you. I don’t expect you to like everything I do and say.”

“But if that was the last time…if that was the last time…” Ethan began to cry and Negan hushed him, pulling his son��s head in against his shoulder. The dampness of Ethan’s tears soaked his shirt and you felt your heart breaking looking at your son. All three of you were crying at this point and there was no hiding it. “I would hate myself forever because I love you.”

“I love you more,” Negan whispered knowing that it was their thing and it made Ethan pull back. Ethan shook his head and knew that his father wanted him to respond.

“I love you most,” Ethan whimpered and Negan swallowed down hard. “I win.”

“I have to go buddy,” Negan reached up after bracing Ethan in one of his arms to push Ethan’s hair out of his face, “but know you changed me. You are the best thing I ever did in this world. You and your brother are the best part of me. And I will always love you.”

“I love you too,” Ethan hugged Negan one last time and you stepped forward to offer your hand out to Ethan who accepted it when Negan set him back on the ground. You watched Negan open the back door and he stopped before stepping toward you one last time to give you a quick kiss. “We’ll see you soon dad.”

Negan paused at the back door to give the both of you a wink before heading out, closing the door behind him. You and Ethan stood there for a moment and it felt wrong just letting this happen, but you knew that you had no choice.

“Mom,” Ethan spoke up, looking up at you with tears in his eyes. “I’m scared.”

“It’s going to be okay baby,” you kneeled down to be level with Ethan. You brushed your fingers through his hair while watching him cry and you understood it. His father was everything to him. “Dad loves you and if he can make it back to you, he will.”

“I hope he does,” Ethan whimpered, falling in against your chest to cry and you comforted him. You hoped for your boys’ sake that Negan would make it back. It would be hell if something happened to him because that man was this family’s world.

----

“Where is he?” the sound of someone slamming your bedroom door open was heard and you felt Ethan immediately shifting in your arms after being scared awake. After Negan had left last night Ethan had asked to sleep with you since he was so upset. You had agreed to let him lay in bed with you, but you grabbed Logan to lay with you both as well. Lifting your head, you saw Aaron and a few Alexandrians walking into your bedroom. “Where is Negan?”

“In his cell,” Logan’s young voice filled the room and you looked over your shoulder to see Logan slowly pulling himself up from where he was laying down. He rubbed at his eyes and you were surprised that of your two boys Logan was the first to lie. “That’s where he is always is.”

“I’m talking to your mom buddy,” Aaron’s voice softened when he looked at your younger son who was gradually waking up. When Aaron returned his eyes to yours, his glare got worse and he shook his head. “After what you said to me, do you really think I would believe you had nothing to do with this?”

“Do with what?” you snorted with an angry breath, getting up enough to stare out at Aaron. “What happened to Negan? What did you do?”

“Oh, bullshit,” Aaron grumbled throwing his hands up in the air in an angry fashion and your head tilted to the side.

“What happened to my dad?” Ethan blurt out and Aaron gave her a side eyed expression. “Can I see him?”

“He’s not in his cell and he can’t be found. You honestly expect me to believe that you have no idea where he went or where he is?” Aaron scoffed and you reached to wrap your arms around your boys to pull them in close to you.

“Do you honestly think if Negan was able to get away from here that we wouldn’t go with him? I feel like you know me enough to know that if Negan was leaving, especially with his life on the line the three of us would have gone with him,” you pointed out and watched Aaron’s cheeks flush over. “We’re still here. How do I know you didn’t do something to Negan?”

“Oh, you’re something else. You think I went and killed him because…” the sound of someone clearing their throat was heard and Aaron looked over his shoulder to see Daryl moving up the stairs. Daryl moved into the room and pressed his hand into the center of Aaron’s chest to get him to move out of the room. “What?’

“You’re going to upset the kids. You need to stop,” Daryl’s voice was quiet, but you still were able to hear him while you brushed your fingers through your sons’ hair. “The kids are both saying it too. I believe them. So, you need to back off.”

“It’s bullshit Daryl,” Aaron insisted and Daryl hushed him again.

“You really think an eight-year-old and a ten-year-old can be part of an elaborate scheme? Look at them. They are scared,” Daryl looked over his shoulder to see the boys staring out at him with big eyes. “Just leave…I’m going to talk to Y/N for a few.”

“Whatever,” Aaron waved his hand and motioned the others to follow him out of the house after Daryl’s order.

“Hey,” Daryl simply muttered, his blue eyes hooked on yours and shifted on his feet. “You think we could talk?”

“Could I have a few?” you stammered and Daryl looked between the two boys. “I have to get the boys ready for the day and I have to get ready myself.”

“Yeah, I’ll be downstairs. You okay if I throw some breakfast together?” Daryl offered and you swallowed down hard. You nodded and Daryl gave you a final glance before closing the door back up for you.

After a minute, Logan pulled from you and looked to you with big eyes. He began to whisper knowing that Daryl was still in the house, “Did I do a good job?”

“You did a great job baby. Both of you did,” you leaned forward to press a loving kiss over Logan’s forehead.

“It’s to keep daddy safe,” Logan sighed and you looked to Ethan with a worried expression knowing that this was hard on him.

The three of you got ready and by the time all of you made it downstairs Daryl was done putting together some scrambled eggs and veggies for your family. Sitting down at the table with Daryl felt awkward and the boys were quiet.

“You know, the two us spent a lot of time together when you were a baby,” Daryl snapped his fingers to get Ethan’s attention and Ethan lifted his head from his plate. Ethan’s hazel eyes were fixated on Daryl and Daryl offered up a small smirk. “When you were a kid you called me doo-doo all the time.”

“Like poop?” Logan blurt out with a giggle and Daryl smirked.

“Right. He couldn’t say Daryl so he called me that,” Daryl remembered all the time he had spent with you and Ethan in the past. The fact he smiled about it confused you because he spent so many years staying away from you after he found you with Negan. Other than when Logan was born, he avoided your family for the most part.

“I’m sorry,” Ethan apologized, his face twisting with confusion on what to say to Daryl after that.

“Oh no…I uh…I actually kinda liked it. It was cute,” Daryl confessed, lowering his head to poke at the food on the plate he made for himself. Back then you felt like you and Daryl were going to be friends forever, but after his blowup over knowing you were in love with Negan, you never thought he would come back again. “You were a cute kid.”

“A lot of people think you are my dad,” Ethan informed him with an uneven breath and Daryl nodded. “Why?”

“Well...a lot of people here didn’t like your father. So I told people that you and your brother were my boys to keep you safe,” Daryl admitted and with how little time he had spent with the boys, it was clear he was uncomfortable with how that played out. “Though, if I was your dad I would have really sucked.”

“You said you spent a lot of time with me?” Ethan confirmed and Daryl reached up to brush his hair back behind his ear while he nodded. “Then, why did you stop?”

“I made a poor choice. Your mom and I were good friends,” Daryl muttered looking to you as he spoke, “And I let something get in the way of that.”

“We all make bad choices,” Logan blurted out and Daryl turned his attention to Logan who boasted that proudly. Daryl chuckled and reached out to rub his fingers through Logan’s short hair.

“You were just a little guy the last time I really saw you,” Daryl thought back to the first time he held Logan and he looked uncomfortable. “You both grew up so much. I wish I would have been around more with the two of you growing up.”

“You can always be around now,” Logan reminded him with a simple shrug.

“I don’t have a lot of friends,” Ethan whispered, his eyebrows tensing together as he spoke. “Judith is friends with me, but she’s busy a lot. I wouldn’t mind being friends with you.”

“What do you mean you don’t have a lot of friends?” Daryl blurt out and you nudged his foot with yours underneath the table. “I mean uh…”

“I get picked on a lot,” Ethan responded with a long sigh. “People take out a lot of their anger about my dad on me. It’s…lonely.”

“I’m sorry,” Daryl now realized why you nudged him like you did. “People can be jerks.”

“Yeah,” Ethan sighed and rest his jaw on his palm. “Other than dad, I never get to play catch with the other kids.”

“I’ll play with you,” Daryl blurt up and Ethan’s eyes excitedly lifted up from the plate, but he looked to you almost begging to let him do it. “I mean I’m horrible at it and you will probably be chasing it for a while, but we can try.”

“If you want to…I’m sure Daryl is very busy though right now,” you pointed out and Daryl shrugged.

“I can make time,” Daryl insisted.

“Can Logan play?” Ethan questioned and Daryl chuckled.

“Of course,” Daryl answered and both boys quickly got up from the table to go run for the gloves that were upstairs. “Where’d they go?”

“They went to get their gloves,” you knew where they went because this was what they did every time Negan played with them. “You don’t have to be nice to my kids just because they are worried about their dad.”

“I should have been nice to your kids the whole time,” Daryl frowned, reaching out to place his hand over yours to give it a firm squeeze. “You can’t help who you love. I should have realized that sooner. I’m sorry.”

“Since we’re talking about love, I heard you have something going on,” you snickered and Daryl rolled his eyes. “Then again, it depends on who you ask. Some people think you and Carol have had something going on for a while, but others…they say now Connie.”

“There are rumors for everyone here. You get in a small community and you’re sleeping with everybody,” Daryl snorted, ruffling his messy hair a bit. “If there was something, I would tell you. I just have friends.”

“Mhmm,” you stared out at him and he playfully shoved your hand aside.

“You haven’t changed,” Daryl silently chuckled and you looked toward the entrance of the kitchen when both boys returned.

“It’s my dad’s glove, do you think it will fit you?” Ethan held it up in the air and Daryl slowly stood up from the table.

“We’ll make it work,” Daryl looked at the table to see the plates. “You guys go get started. I’m going to help your mother clean up here and then we will come out.”

“Okay,” Logan agreed and followed Ethan out of the house. There was a silence between you and Daryl as you gathered the plates.

“You know, for the first time I know Negan did the right thing,” Daryl confessed, his eyes hooked on you as you moved for the sink. “I know that Negan was just trying to protect Lydia. He still killed someone, but I don’t think he deserves to be punished for it.”

“Well that’s nice to hear from you,” you were thankful that Daryl kept this between them with the boys out of the house. “For once I agree with you about Negan.”

“But running off was not the answer,” Daryl’s eyebrows perked up and you felt your jaw clenching, “You’re being honest when you tell me that you have no idea where Negan is?”

“I have no idea where Negan is,” you were honest, you had no fucking clue where he was. Did you know he left? Yes. But did you know what he was doing? No. So in a sense you weren’t lying. “Truthfully, I hope no one has hurt him.”

“A lot of people are mad at him,” Daryl responded, his eyes still hooked on you like he was trying to read something from you. “If you knew where he was, I could help him and keep him safe.”

“Daryl, I’m not lying when I say I have no idea where he is,” you restated throwing your hands up in the air. “If this is the only reason you are attempting to be nice to my kids…”

“No, I wouldn’t…I couldn’t do that,” Daryl maintained with a shake of his head. “That’s genuine. I told people these boys were mine and I’ve hardly been around.”

“You’re not their father,” you reminded him and Daryl rolled his eyes before shrugging. “You know people might take out their anger toward Negan on my kids because of this.”

“I won’t let that happen,” Daryl immediately responded with a firm shake of his head. “I promise, they will not put a hand on those boys.”

“They are already picking on Ethan. Especially one of the boys that actually did this with Lydia. He told Ethan that he should be dead, just like his dad,” you informed Daryl with a frown and swallowed down hard. “Trust me, with how I’ve been feeling here, I wish I could have left with Negan.”

“You should never feel that way and your boys should never have to go through that,” Daryl insisted with a firm shake of his head. “You should feel welcomed here. This is your home. It has been for a very long time.”

“I never felt like this was my home,” you confessed with a sad breath, leaning back against the counter. Daryl took a minute before standing in beside you. His arms folded in front of his chest and he nudged you softly with his shoulder.

“I never really did either,” Daryl breathed out in a long, shallow breath. You looked to him with confusion and he shrugged. “I don’t know. Home is the people I care about. Not a place. I care about a few people, that’s it.”

“But everyone loves you here,” you snorted and Daryl threw his hands up in the air.

“That’s their mistake. They don’t even know me,” Daryl grumbled in his drawl before biting down on his bottom lip. “They just hear things and assume.”

“Well, that’s what people do with my family,” you brought back the original topic and Daryl frowned again. “They assume and they attack. Me, they pretty much ignore for the most part. I keep my head down. I do my job and I take care of my family, but they train their kids to attack my children who are innocent. If I could have, I would have gone with Negan.”

“Well, since people love me here, I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen with people coming after ya,” Daryl announced and you gave him an odd glance. That was hard to believe. Daryl couldn’t make people do anything at this place. Everyone was judgmental and even if he tried, you doubted it would work. “Let’s go play with those boys.”

Walking outside with Daryl, you could see that a lot of Alexandria was out and it made you uncomfortable. Especially after what had happened with Negan. When Aaron broke into your room this morning, you were sure people just like Aaron assumed you helped in Negan’s escape. When Daryl moved down the stairs to play with Logan and Ethan, you took a seat on the top step, but it made Daryl stop.

“What are you doin’?” Daryl muttered reaching his hand out for yours. Accepting it in your grasp, you gradually stood up from the stairs. “We’re all playing catch. You can have the glove. I was never the glove wearing type anyways.”

“Cool!” Logan tossed you the glove that was Negan’s.

Looking it over, you saw ‘dad’ written on it from in Ethan’s handwriting. It made you smile. You wished times could go back to that. Sure, Negan was still in a cell, but it was better than having people wanting him dead and him being missing.

You couldn’t break down. At least not now or in front of your kids. Later you were sure it would happen. You were scared. Scared for Negan. Scared for your boys. You were worried you would never see Negan again. With the way he was talking it sounded like he was going to get himself in trouble and you didn’t want that. You didn’t want Negan to get killed. He was everything to you and your boys. So worried was an understatement when it came to your emotions.

Playing catch with the boys and Daryl felt odd. People were staring, but the boys were having fun. Daryl was cracking jokes and had an occasional laugh here or there when the boys would get amused with him.

It was sweet seeing Daryl playing with them. This is kind of what you had expected Daryl to be like when Ethan was younger until he got upset with you and stopped showing up. Ethan and Daryl had been so close then, but after your fall apart, you never thought you would see something like this again.

Logan was still not extremely great at playing catch. That was more so Negan and Ethan’s thing. Logan liked playing with his toys more than playing sports, but he was doing his best. Swallowing down hard, you watched Daryl move across the front yard to pick up Logan. He spun Logan around and Logan’s laughter filled the air when he did it.

After Daryl set Logan back down on the ground, Logan fell to the grass giggling and Ethan gave him an odd look. When Daryl moved back toward you, he stepped in beside you and you felt him press a small kiss against your cheek. Giving Daryl a weird expression, you didn’t know where the hell that came from.

“People are watching, right?” Daryl muttered under his breath and you quickly glanced beyond him to see that a few people were watching them playing. “I told you, I gotcha.”

“You don’t have to pretend…” you began and Daryl hushed you.

“Nah, I should have been doing this all along and I’m sorry,” Daryl whispered, his blue eyes hooked on yours before he shrugged. “Your boys are cool little dudes. I would like spending time with them. You did a great job with them.”

“Thank you,” you didn’t know what else to say as Daryl went back to the spot he was in and he tossed the ball to Ethan, but it managed to completely miss Ethan.

“We need to work on you, a lot,” Ethan snorted with a laugh going to grab the ball that Daryl threw. “If you keep coming back, I’ll make sure to have your aim better in no time.”

“Sounds like a deal,” Daryl snickered when Ethan threw him back the ball and Daryl underhand threw the ball to Logan next.

Even if Daryl didn’t genuinely want to be there spending time with your family, it was nice that he was willing to do this so people would stop giving your family shit and hopefully take off some of the pressure that would be there with Negan gone. Any little thing helped and with your family on the line, keeping them safe…that’s what mattered the most.

#Negan #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #The Walking Dead

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