#Lord Herry Minbare

[thecrewofthecoppercoloredcupids]

What Could Have Been #3 - The Scrapped Alchemist Story; or, who are Minbare and Sherit, anyway?

A few weeks ago, we published a story titled Stranded at Memory’s End, in which Marksmanship, Tracker, and Bibliophile found themselves in a realm made up of people and things that have ceased to exist. Among them were a few things that even the most savvy Cupid reader probably didn’t recognize - including two mysterious nobles known as Lord Herry Minbare and Countess Anmida Sherit, and a strange, flying beast with both fur and feathers. So, where did these most extraordinary characters originate from? Why, a scrapped draft, of course!

The story below, penned by Lupan Evezan, was abandoned midway through production - and now we’ve posted it here, for your reading pleasure (hopefully)!

Lord Herry Minbare was locked in a fierce battle of wills with the Countess Anmida Sherit.

Both had a claim to the Empire. They were cousins, the late Empress Regnant had been their grandmother. As no intermediate relatives still lived, and the two nobles were fairly equal in station (titles held no real meaning among the nobility anymore), they both had about equal claim to the post of Emperor or Empress of the Northern Isles. The official governing body of advisors was more or less a sham, a ploy to make it seem as though all decisions were not made solely by the ruling official (which they were), and so there was no real way to decide which of the two would rule.

But one thing was certain: they would have to work it out quickly, before one of the other nobles decided that they had ought to claim the position themself.

Countess Sherit had invited Lord Minbare to dinner at one of her estates, supposedly for the purpose of working out the issue once and for all. Minbare suspected an assassination plot, and had brought no less than thirty of his own soldiers, who were now posted around the large hall. He had also brought his own meal, which he ate instead of the food Sherit had provided. This, she felt, was the height of all rudeness.

"Listen, Minbare." The Countess began nonchalantly. "We have to settle this somehow. You know how eager Earl Rabare is to snatch the position. Why, with his army, he could have it done already - he's trying to follow the old customs, I suppose, but it won't last long."

"No, I don't suppose it will." Minbare took a bite of the poultry he had brought with him.

Sherit glared.

"Then what do you propose we do?"

Minbare simply shrugged.

Infuriating. Absolutely infuriating.

"We could... turn it into a duarchy?" Sherit suggested. "Rule together?"

Sherit absolutely did not want to share power with her halfwit cousin, but she also didn't want to have to settle this by violence, if it could be helped.

"No, I don't think that'll work for me." Minbare took another bite of the poultry.

"Enough!"

Sherit knocked the bird out of his hand and stood up.

"If you're not going to settle this in a civil manner, then I have no choice but to best you in a duel."

"Ha! Best me? Hardly likely!" Minbare chuckled. "But, go ahead. Set the conditions. When will it be?"

"Now. Here."

"Here? Now? With what?"

"Poison."

Sherit produced a small, clear vial containing a sickly greenish liquid.

"Venom of the Naddersnatch."

"How, exactly, do you duel with, er, poison? Going to throw it at each other?

"No. A servant is going to poison one of these." Sherit held up two biscuits. "Neither of us will know which. We'll each choose one. Whoever eats the poisoned one will die. The other rules. More of a battle of luck than of skill."

"Ha! As if I'd agree to that. Of course you'll know which is poisoned beforehand."

Well, that wasn't quite the plan. She would know, but this wasn't Naddersnatch venom at all - just a dormaficient, an elixir to induce sleep, made from one of the common weeds which grew in the woods that made up much of her lands. Minbare would eat the biscuit, lose consciousness, and a servant would transport him to some far away place from which he could not return. The empire would believe that he was dead, and Sherit could take the throne. It wasn't a great plan (and it was in fact her secondary plan, after Minbare foiled her first plot to slip the stuff into his food by bringing his own), but it was the best she had at the moment. She couldn't try anything sneakier, with Minbare's army occupying the place.

"Oh, come now, I'm more honorable than that!" she protested.

"You are not! Don't you remember the time you pushed me into the Great Lake so you could win the royal games?"

"When we were children, Herry? Really? Can you hold a grudge that long?"

"I nearly died! Anyway, I'm not eating your poisoned biscuit, and we're obviously not going to settle this tonight! Farewell!"

Minbare stood and walked swiftly to the nearest exit into the vestibule.

Sherit pulled a sword from the wall.

"Fine! Then we'll duel the traditional way. Draw your weapon!"

Minbare chuckled.

"Very well."

He drew his own sword.

"To first blood?"

"To death."

The two nobles crossed their swords, signalling the official commencement of the duel.

Suddenly, a blinding flash filled the hall, and a cloud appeared just above the table.

Minbare and Sherit looked up, bewildered.

A copper head peered over from the top of the cloud. A winged creature leapt down.

It was a strange being, formed of metal in the image of a cherub - although real cherubs were far more terrifying than this. It reminded Sherit of the golems employed by some of of the old wizards of repute.

"What are you, creature?" Sherit inquired.

"A sign from the gods?" Minbare suggested.

"Er, hello. I'm from the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids. I'm supposed to romanticise someone around here...."

The creature turned its head from side to side.

It spotted a sad looking maidservant standing at wait in a corner.

"Ah-ha! You!"

The creature produced a bow. It nocked an arrow. It drew the bow and fired at the girl.

The arrow hit her. It was obviously an enchanted arrow, judging by the fact that she did not die. Instead, she smiled.

"Why, I feel good! Very good! In fact, I think I shall go out into the world and sing!"

The girl rushed out the nearest door, singing.

The nobles blinked, unsure of what was happening.

"Right! That's done!"

The creature turned and seemed poised to fly back up to the cloud.

"Wait, wait!"

The being turned.

"What are you? Where did you come from?" Minbare asked, inspecting the cloud. It was a ship, he realized, cleverly disguised.

"I'm a Clockwork Cherub! You know, a robot! I'm from the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids - we travel the Multiverse, you know, and romanticise people!"

"Multiverse?" Minbare inquired.

"Yes - all of the dimensions and universes and realms and such that make up... well, everything, more or less!"

"You mean to say that there really are other universes?" There were legends, of course, but even the wisest wizards surely believed that they were only that.

"Sure! I've got to be going - nice meeting you!"

The Clockwork Cherub leapt back up to the cloud, which vanished.

The nobles stared for a moment.

Then Lord Minbare turned and ran into the vestibule and out of the estate.

****

With a sputtering pop, a Fog Ship materialized in the Void. The pilot of the ship managed to steer it into the parking lot of the Interdimensional Tavern and leap out. The ship was in a terrible state of disrepair.

But it hadn't been, moments before. What could have gone wrong?

The Cupid who had been piloting the ship opened a hatch in the front and gazed in at the inner workings of the ship. The dematerialisation circuit was there - but the dimensional warp drive was entirely missing. Without it, the Ship could leave one dimension, but not quite warp into another. The two bits were meant to work in tandem - the ship was useless without one.

"But where could - ?"

Suddenly the Cupid remembered that rather nosy gent who had been poking around the ship.

Blast. The Parliament won't like this.

Well, there were bigger problems at hand. The Cupid needed to get out of the Void, somehow.

First, though, he decided to pop in to the Tavern and have a drink.

****

Deep beneath the Minbare Palace was a twisting maze of catacombs, at the very center of which was located a laboratory.

Not a Prime Earth sort of scientific research laboratory. Nor a mad scientist type of laboratory (although it was closer to that).

No, this was more of an alchemist's laboratory. Perhaps a wizard's laboratory. A laboratory of dark magic.

The laboratory belonged to Lord Herry Minbare, and he was there now.

Minbare was an alchemist, although no one knew it. It was his secret. It was the secret of the Minbare family, passed down from antiquity, along with this laboratory.

"Other universes - it really is true! All of my research was not in vain!"

Minbare produced a bit of circuitry from his coat.

"And this! This is the missing piece! This is what I need to complete my device!"

Minbare thought a moment.

"Well, I hope it is."

The lord strode to the center of the laboratory, where an intimidating creation towered over everything. It was carved from materials Minbare had researched extensively and determined to be conducive to opening a dimensional rift - the topic he had been researching ever since he first heard, from a wizard to whom he had apprenticed in his younger years, that there may really be other universes out there. And now, proof!

Minbare set the thing he had stolen into his device and turned on a low electrical current beneath the monolith. The circuitry began to spark and then hum. The entire creation followed suit, buzzing and humming intensely. A flicker appeared in the area in space directly above the device. It flickered and began to warp, until it finally tore through the fabric of reality and became a rift.

"Yes! Yes!" Minbare began to cackle like a villain in a Prime Earth cartoon show, not that he knew what that was.

His fit of laughing was interrupted by the sudden appearance of a strange, twisted creature with a tooth-filled beak, glaring eyes, and horns. It was covered with strange mix of fur and feathers, and had claws and talons.

"Er, master?" the beast snarled. "Your evening tea, master?"

Minbare glanced over.

"No, no! I'm in the middle of something! Go away!"

The creature bowed and retreated.

Minbare had created the beast, along with others like it. They had been among his first creations, formed from the bones of animals and given life with an elixir he had brewed.

He called them the greckles.

~Here ends the draft~

Stay tuned for more “What Could Have Beens”!