#Lynn has such a pretty design I really like her a lot haha

[shipwreck-letters]

hi sorry for disappearing for weeks i was hibernating

i just wanted 2 ask how you'd think the monster manor story would progress (like how'd the characters develop, how u think it'd end and what u think of the character that was teased but never released)

im kind of losing hope ab MM ending or even just having a good story because of the recent announcement adydhwnbehdisjcm

Long, long post incoming. I ramble a lot, my brain is like Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. (I missed you, though! Nice to see you again! How have you been?) (Also swearing,,,swearing- Edit: There was much more swearing before I read over this and took out the Dorian shit, because I really wanna shake them by the shoulders and-)

I honestly think about this question ALL the time. And by the end of this, I do have an idea for an ending!!! It's down below. It's just a lot of rambling beforehand.

ERYTHEIAAAAAA- Am I spelling her name right?? She's really pretty, really strong, her character design speaks, but I wish we had more.

I don't have much I can really say about Erytheia, because I always get stuck on what Lynne said about "sounding like a Greek chorus" That always stops me from trying to write her myself, because ???? WHAT- I do not know enough about Greece, or Greek mythology, to even begin to do that. I am an Indigenous country bird. I feel so bad, though- Maybe I could try again and get back to you on that. No promises, though 😭😭😭 That would honestly, in my opinion, need to be something that maybe some more people can talk more about and come to an agreement on.

I wish we could get just one line, one sentence, one paragraph of dialogue or set-up. I miss her, and I only saw ONE sketch of her.

The way Sage's story took a crazy turn, and how he ended up 6 months during the new war; I would have never predicted that at ALL- So it's like,,,I wonder if a crazy twist would happen with MM-

But it doesn't seem like there would be a whole "Upright/Reversed" thing, because MC is clearly competent enough to not have Casimir or Rainier fall back into their vices again. That would be so dumb for them to establish this change, and then say "haha whoopsie yes Casimir become the beast- Yes Rainier, break out and raise hell as a dragon on Earth" like,,,that would be dumb-

I'm talking out of my ass, I think, because Casimir and Rainier aren't my OCs, but it seemed like we already met them during their arc? During that time of change and sadness, and hopefully it would be a story of change for the future.

Surrounded by people that are in the same boat as him, he'd have a new focus on getting to know these people, MC, and have an outlook of fixing these rooms, sharing his story and his own knowledge about things! Getting to know them, too. Maybe his curse was like a self-fulling prophecy, because the only times he transformed with MC is under intense stress or emotions. He never transformed when Rainier lost control, he was perfectly fine.

So I think...Casimir's rooms/arc were semi-complete during those chapters, and that tale. In general, very very very general. It gave me enough to hypothesize, and Rainier is the same. But...Still not enough. It's not Lynne-approved, Lynne-directed, Lynne please come back and swipe your story-

Maybe during these times, he'd have a few transformations that he can't help. He'd be really nervous, because now he has access to hurt others, not just himself or the House. But but but- I think....that MC or Rainier or maybe even Erytheia stands up to the beast enough times that it starts to change. It begins to go away, and Casimir doesn't even realize- He still has the traits, and the abilities that comes with it, but I think that Casimir wouldn't even realize until MC mentions the beast and someone is like "you transform?" and Casimir is like "....Now that you mention it-"

I think it would come to a head with MC, honestly- This character that is unwavering, the glue that holds everything together...There's gotta be a moment where they're like "Well now everyone is together, I guess my job is done here" But they try to leave and it's like,,,,No, actually. MC deserves to be cared for, as well. They (you, the reader, too) need reassurance and repair beyond just being looked at as the fixer-upper, the sunlight-

I think once MC has a moment where they realize for a moment that they can also accept that this home isn't just for the characters, but for them, too- They can stay, or go, maybe with Casimir to the modern world, or with Rainier to Almithara, but there will always be a home, here, a refuge.

That's what it was always meant to be, right? I think that would be an ending that I would like to see, anyway. Not too personal, not too vague, but being able to leave or stay with the character(s) you romance, augh. I want to see Rainier's home, I want to show Casimir the world 🎶, I also want the fade to black scene I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT-

It wouldn't be chaotic crazy like LL, where there's war or death, but those topics do come up in terms of Casimir's past, or Rainier's jobs regarding the Magister. But the past is not an end-all-be-all, and the House was meant to be a place where you can get help, be helped, and then be let go again. (I think- It had to be, no way did the House intend to just keep them there forever)

Casimir couldn't leave, because he couldn't see that. Rainier couldn't (can't) leave, because he couldn't (can't) see that. With a group of different minds, it's a cycle of helping each other, helping yourself, and also....Being able to romance or have a great friend and support because of that.

That's what I think, anyway. If I was a Fictif Ambassador (which I do not ever want to be tbh), I wouldn't have much to say regarding any completed stories, or even Into the Mist, but for Monster Manor? I fully believe that's a good ending. That's what I would bring, and I will milly rock someone for saying it needs to be darker, or grittier, or whatever.

I know that it would be different, working under such harsh conditions, and Dorian....Ugh. What a shitshow.

What was the point of the whole Ambassador roles, they approved the Asra tale??? That was so lackluster- Who wrote and approved that shit- I just want to talk, Dorian.

There's still much that I want answered and it makes my eye twitch that Dorian is pulling this horseshit buffonery...

But I might do that in another post. Here's a little brightness that I've been thinking about lately:

Bendy and the Ink Machine. The Dark Revival. It came back! It's so fantastic, it's beautiful. I hope that LL and MM can get the same treatment- A revival. A good ending to beautiful concepts and aesthetics. Sage, Anisa, Felix, Casimir, Rainier, Erytheia, and even Fin- They fucking deserve it. Maybe the devs can bring them back, slightly redesigned, with a different name, but ultimately the same plot and vibe.

I won't ever "drop" Monster Manor, it's gotten me through some stuff, and still does! It brought me Finch, it brought me friends and a fandom! I owe it a lot, and I hope we can see it to a completed end.

But...Do make sure to record the story, screenshot it, what have you. Prepare to prepare, is what my uncle says about tough situations.

[improbablecarny]

The Best Good Parts of The Mystery of Time

As according to me

Knock knock, 2013! Who’s there? It’s Tobias Sammet with a fresh delivery of Avantasia, this time in the form of the spooky gothic tale that begins here. We’ve got old faces, we’ve got new faces, and we’ve got clock faces, so let’s get ready to face what lays at the heart of The Mystery of Time!

Storyline: On a cold winter night in a sleepy little village, a young scientist named Aaron Blackwell happens upon a nightmarish scene: spectral figures and the poor old victim at their center. After rescuing the Antiquarian, Aaron is gifted with a broken old mantlepiece clock, and becomes the center of a mysterious Nobleman’s plan to re-align the world’s seemingly fractured timeline.

Quick Notes:

This album utilizes a real orchestra in numerous songs.

The special edition came with a purely instrumental version of the album, which was pretty cool.

The storyline in this one hit the happy medium between The Metal Opera and The Wicked Trilogy: there still aren’t interludes or spoken parts, and the songs all stand on their own out of context, but there is a more obvious degree of dialogue between the characters. There’s a couple characters who aren’t real people but most of them are. The special edition also came with Aaron’s journal entries, which makes it much easier to follow the plot.

Relistening to TMOT and its sequel, I have to say these albums do some CRAZY cool sound design shit. Listen closely... can you find all the time/machinery motifs?

Come unravel the mystery... by listening to the album for free, officially, on Youtube! (Or Spotify)

Spectres

We all know how I feel about The Seven Angels, but I have to say that in terms of introducing the story, building the setting and setting the mood, Spectres may just be my favourite introductory song.

The dramatic 3/4 intro... it BEGS for choreography

Very strong first verse!

VERY strong second verse - again, where are the dancers at? There’s this languid, macabre sense to the pace of this song that makes it SO easy to visualize

“DANCE IN THE GLOOM / DANCE IN THE GLOOM! EVERY MOVE’S A STEP TO YOUR TOMB!” Chills! Chills! Chills!

Bring in the dancing ghosts!

The bassline before...

HARPSICHORD SOLO!

“Wiiiide open MIIIIIIIiiiiiiiii-iiinds”

The drum strikes at the end of the chorus but especially at the end of the song sound like fireworks and it does things to me.

The Watchmaker’s Dream

That time signature... of course I love it

The bright and forward-marching pace in the intro... *dreamy sighs*

The chugging of the guitars as you dip into the first verse? Divine.

“oooooh NOOOOOoooooo”

THE WATCHMAKER’S DREAM!

(The Watchmaker himself doesn’t show up until Ghostlights but Boy Howdy it’s worth the wait)

“SIMPLIFY SIMPLICITY” GOOD entrance

Arjen Lucassen guitar solo immediately followed by an insane Ferdy Doernberg organ solo... thank you for my life

Biff Byford outro lines... “for ALL the world TO see...” 

Black Orchid

The intro... is sexy. That orchestration tho

The piano backing the first verse

“NO TIME FOR DREEAMIIIING”

Joe Lynn Turner’s entrance... “As above / so below!”

THE FINAL HOUR... WHEN NEVER AND NOW.. BECOME.. ONE!

“Everybody’s craving”... that beat

The unforgettable “bllLAAACK OOOOoooRCHIIIiiiiiIID... strAAAANGE and bEEEAUTIFUUUuuul”

Where Clock Hands Freeze

The orchestration takes the intro again but in a much more lighthearted, rousing melody

Which quickly becomes...

the MICHAEL KISKE POWER METAL NUMBER YEAH

The prechorus rolling back the beat with the strings and piano... ahh

“There’s no time to lose... no chance to refuse....”

“....aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

The only disappointment here is still that Tobi doesn’t also go “aaaaaaaaaaaaaa” at the end of his verse

“Through your dark swamp / I walk on deductive conclusion” oh Aaron... you’ve got a big storm coming

 (literally... we’ll get there)

Sleepwalking

This one was used in the promo for an airing of The Titanic on a German tv station so that’s fun

Cloudy is cool I miss her

It’s the heavier-pop duet of the album and it’s extremely good

The second verse when the momentum really picks up... mwah

Savior in the Clockwork

This is the first whopper of the album at nearly 11 minutes, and for good reason

The orchestration again gets a chance to shine in the intro - listen to those soundscapes and soak it all in!

NAH NAH NAAAAAAAAH... NAH NAH NAAAAAAAAH

CHOIR!

“I envision how you lie awake and agonize” time to groove

“Oh every MOMENT everyBODY’S gonna THINK ALIKE!”

“Mind by mind / check the pace for all mankind” time to REALLY groove

When Tobi said “Am I half-asleep or half-unconscious... half a-dream?” I felt it in my soul

This is another one with a live arrangement that fucking rules if you can find it

“Do I dream?” GROOVE TIME AGAIN

Slow down and tap that cymbal baby

“Journey to the first sun... to the BLACK WOOOMB OF SPAAAAACE”

“FATHER PRIMAL SPAAAAAAAAACE”

“WOHOHH YEAAAAHAAH”

Are you STILL GROOVIN’?

The whole back and forth starting “I’ve seen the ocean swallow the ancient harmony”

Then again at “At crack of dawn...”

“RAISE YOUR MIIIIIIND” hi again Michi

When they switch and he takes the melody and then Tobi does the background choir embellishments 

That last chorus run! The POWER

Invoke the Machine

The sailing guitars in the intro... *chef’s kiss*

Introducing Ronnie Atkins! I’ve gushed about his performance as the Nobleman before and I’ll do it again!

The second verse is a primo example of what I mean with him - “these dreams that you hummed to yourself once / how far will you reach out to make them come true? Will you turn around and shirk from duty... ” A kind benefactor who may be just who you need to find answers...

“Ō̸̡̫̟̗̬̞̯̭̯͙͓̲͇̪̈́͝R̵̛̯͍̲̐ ̷͎̤̹̬̼̉̿̀́̋̕͜͠͠F̵̛͎̫̾̀͒̂͌̇̅̑̐̅̔O̵̱̟͉̾̀Ṛ̴̢̨͍̳̟̼̞̉͆̆͑́̀̅́͊̔͠C̴̢̧͓͖̝͍̭͖̯̻̯̤͈̞̓͊̀̿̓́̍̽̋̽͠Ë̷̡̮͙̒̓̿͑́̕ ̴̡̠̦͕̯̖̺̪̻̺̗̃̌́̽̑ͅͅT̷̛͉̮̲̦̭̜̭̝̝͙̭͖̗̉͋̈́͘͜͜H̶͚̖̩̪͕͌̀͘Ẻ̷̤̯̤̯̒́̑͌͘̚ͅ ̶̧̢͍̣̭͚̰̥̟̉͋̔̋͌̔̓̔̓̕͘P̶̛̮͈͗̍̿̃̎͑̃̀̀̓̾͝Ă̸̗̙͇̯̘͇̹͔̫̫͎̞̾́̒͐̊̅̕͠C̴̢͉̖̳̱͍͚̭̤̖̖̙̫͜͠Ę̴̝̦͇͈̯̬͍̖͗̃̏̃̒̔̿”

Oh haha, ok, so THAT’S definitely the bad guy

“As my glance wanders to... the far off land in the sky”

“Oh, hissing and SCREEAMIN’ - almost ALIII-III-IIIIiiive!”

IN THE NIIIIIGHT - can you hear that in the chorus? It’s happening: Meatloafification. (To transform, over time, into American rock musician Meat Loaf)

The instrumental when they actually invoke the machine... more chefs kisses

The journal entry for this one states that the Nobleman “literally exploded” into a monologue, which still tickles me

What’s Left of Me

It’s Eric Martin, baby! Despite being on a whopping 3 studio songs his involvement in the tour lineup and bluesy, hearty voice have cemented him as an integral part of the Avantasia experience for me.

The string intro... the vocal intro... the duet...

When I first saw the name of this song in the tracklist pre-release I went “oh, this song will end me”

I was right

Dweller in a Dream

“OH OHHHHHHHHHHHWHOAAAAHH”

“Memories / Of good intentions ghosting me“ Time to groove again!

“God if you’re out there / why do you make ME SPIN YOUR WHEEL?”

CHOIR CHORUS

These lyrics are wild

“Are you for real now or just a dweller in my dream?”

DO YOU HEAR ME / DWELLER IN A DREAM!

“Ooooooh.... why would your god-given will come off the track?”

“COME OFF THE TRACK?”

“DWELLER IN A DREAAAAAM”

The Great Mystery

The closer to this album is another great Bob Catley megasong, and I regularly sing the entire thing in the shower.

CARRY THE FLAME TO ACCELERAAAATE THE EVOLUTION OF AN AAAAAGE

The dramatic instrumentals behind “don’t be afraid / just look around!”

DON’T QUESTION WHAT YOUR EYES CAN’T SEEEEE

It’s extremely hard for me to just not quote the entire passage that begins at “I see a cold moon rise above those empty streets”

...AND AS YOU MARVEL AT THE ARTWORK IN YOUR HANDS / RICH IN DETAIL / SO FRAIL AND BEAUTIFUL

AND YOU FORGET THE RULES THE ELDERS ALWAYS MADE UP FOR YOU

TO SAVE YOUR PRECIOUS TIME

OH!

Both passages that begin with “I see tears shed over days...”

... and answers you DID FIND

To dare what YOU WOULD FIND INSIIIIIIDE

THE LAST CHORUS

“OOOOH IS IT REALLY NOT A DREAM?”

“THE GREAT MYSTERY”

“AAAAAAAAH”

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH” 

waaaaaah  😭

BONUS TRACK: THE CROSS AND YOU

To my knowledge it has nothing to do with the TMOT story. It sounds a lot like a lost Edguy song more than anything.

It has a hard rock edge that sets it apart significantly from the more symphonic songs on the album

“Allllll... the ways...”

I do dig the theatrical tone at “The cautionary voice that shatters your brain”

It’s the end of the album, but the story doesn’t end there! We’ve got a world of revelations ahead of us in the next leg of the story... and you can make time for that, right?

Cast List:

Tobias Sammet as Aaron Blackwell Michael Kiske as The Antiquarian Ronnie Atkins as The Nobleman Eric Martin as The Beggar Cloudy Yang as She Bob Catley as Epiphany Joe Lynn Turner as Reason Biff Byford as Science

[totoroses]

i found this lesbian survey and decided to fill it out!

Femme or butch? is this what do i prefer or which i am? im a femme and i have no preference in dating, i’ve been wildly attracted to both and any in between

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it. the only nearly completely common denominator though my exes are having brown eyes? i have dated only one person who did not have brown eyes. i always feel safer looking into brown eyes then blue. i woudl say i have often gone after the romantic artsy type with good music taste and some kind of signature style about them, ironically none of which drew me to my current girlfriend who i believe is probably defintiely the love of my life

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets? leather jackets! i will swoon over smartly dressed gals in button downs as well as a chill gal in some plaid unbuttoned flannel but the two together make me think of a lumberjack

Describe your style. i usually go for one of two styles- softly dressed forest wanderer, or slightly sassy soft grunge. both include my doc martens, but one is more natural colours and old fashioned dresses and the other is sassy tshirts and 90sish thrift store finds like denim and dark florals

Describe your aesthetic.pressed flowers between the pages of a book on forest spirits, rose milk tea, silver rainy downpours, curly baby hairs, white peaches, a cat sleeping in a library, custard pastries, a circle of mushrooms in moss, opals and furry moths

Favorite article of clothing? my one forever 21 dress ive had since like junior year that i can wear without a bra and it has like a cool cross back i just looooveee ittt, then also my embroidered minty 1930s style qipao sort of dress

Favorite pair of shoes? my doc martens and green chinese embroidered lace up slippers

Current haircut? currently blonde (ugh) and currently my hair falls just past my breasts, the goal is to grow it to my bellybutton!

Any haircut goals for the future? i really wanna get on the thick fluffy bangs bandwagon but i dont think i have the stamina to put up with growing them out again smh

Describe the best date you’ve been on. there was this one date i went on with one of my high school girlfriends where we went to a bookstore and hung out and then stuck googly eyes all over my city on random monuments and street signs, and we also ate thai food and listened to music and it was still one of the most lovely dates. BUT my girlfriend recently visited me in taiwan and we went in a glass bottom gondola ride up a mountain and drank from coconuts and wandered through old streets and had the most amazing tea food with a spectacular view and it was heaven

Describe the worst date you’ve been on. probably the one where i went on a picnic with my first girlfriend who then broke up with me that same day and even though our entire relationship was so awkward and not what is should have been it still hurt so bad

Single? Taken? taken!

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife! where do i begin! my girlfriend is a slightly shorter than me girl named lynn who loved korean variety shows, drinking coca cola, listening to cheesy love songs, and playing tricks on people (especially me). she used to be a major tomboy in middle and high school and date all the girls and get slapped a lot, as well as mess with teachers and play pranks on them and steal things from their lunchboxes. more than half of her birthchart including sun, rising, and venus are scorpio, and she wants to start her own streetstyle online brand but has not yet found a catchy brand name!

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife? :)

Describe your dream wedding my girlfriend says if we get married we need two, a traditional chinese wedding (she is from china) and a western one with a priest since i am catholic, and i couldnt agree more. my dream wedding includes just very close friends and family, extravagant lights and flowers and a reception party playlist chosen by me, catered by the teahouse we went to in taiwan. i know its so silly and superficial but i want the dreamiest dress that i design, wisteria everywhere, and most of all i just want lynn at the end of the alter looking stunning in whatever it is she decides to wear

Do you want kids? YES me and lynn talk about this a lot because we both love kids and both agree on at least 4, no more than 8. and we will share who carries the kids so not just one of us is having our uteruses worn out

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? guilin, china. but its a fantasy. guilin is real and beautiful but chinese laws make it so that even if we settle down there and build a house it cant truly belong to us, and in china you cant have a private business and it jsut sucks because the drema is to live in the quiet countryside with a simple life and beautiful scenery to explore together and with our children

Favorite lesbian movie? i love so many but im gonna go with the handmaiden!

Favorite lesbian novel/story? i havent read nearly enough, but  adore all things by malinda lo and julie anne peters! ash by malinda lo is probably my favourite. i have to still read sarah waters though, i hear she reigns supreme

Favorite lesbian song? don’t pull away by milosh ft jviews (the music video is gay at least, i also love hayley kiyoko)

Favorite lesbian musician? hayley kiyoko probably

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any? mmmm i dont like softball so that doesnt work...i read a lot of sappho though! and i have short nails? and love buffy? are these stereotypes?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal? ugh yes

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that? write me a love letter or make me a mixtape about your feleings something cheesy

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian? girls!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person? cat but i also love pups!

Turn ons? a musical wonderful voice i could listen to and listen to, easy and stimulating conversations, passion for something that lights up their eyes

Turn offs? rudeness in any shape or form, indecisiveness or feigning indecisiveness because you think i want to make the decisions, despicable movie and music taste, smell

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you? mmmm in the past it has been pretty even. i have learned though that with women it really is a waiting game more than with guys so with my current girlfriend the tension was killing me so much i had to straight up ask her if something was going on and when she said yes she did like me too i was so relieved because she admitted to having not dated anyone since high school (5 years ago for her) and not asking anyone out while at college so if i had kept waiting for her who knows if we would have gotten together!

What is your dream career? i want to be a stay at home mom and author and perhaps an art teacher or preschool teacher on the side if the books dont pa the bills!

Talk about your interests or hobbies! writing and reading and drawing and singing and hiking and listening to music and watching korean dramas and making lists and studying languages

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have? passion, not necessarily in the sexual wya, but passion for something in general. like if she is an actress you see her on the stage and see how into it she is, and offstage she talks about it in a way that shows she is capable of truly loving something so much and seeing wonder in life. or a girl who seems quiet but then when she starts to show you the music she likes she closes her eyes and knows every lyric and has this expression of true passion and love for the music, i am captivated by women who are captivated by the purest elements of life from music to dance to nature

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone? for women, i fall in infatuation quite easily. i was always more cautious with men of course and now i avoid them altogether. but love is something i’ve been becoming more conservative of somehow. i think because i was so hurt by someone before and gave and gave without receiving and im scared of that happening again. i have to be receiving love to give it, thats something i finally can control my impulses over and protect myself from.

Ever fallen for your best-friend? HA

Ever fallen for a straight girl? HAHA

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?) heck to the no i couldnt make it past two episodes 

Favorite comfort food? macaroni and cheese

Coffee or tea? tea

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above? none but i have tried vegetarian before

Do you have any pets? a chinchilla and a cat!

Early-riser or night-owl? night owl 

What is your sign? gemini sun, sag moon, sag rising

What is your Myers-Briggs type? INFP

Who was your first lesbian crush? my first serious lesbian crush was on a girl at my middle school who dressed to the nines every day in vintage dresses and sweaters and she flirted with practically everyone just joking around and always had a boyfriend but was just charming in every way. my whoel day would eb ruined if i couldn’t just see her or say hello once, and i thought i was just obsessed until i was like ‘wait what if she kissed me’ and BAM i knew it was a real life crush

At what age did you know you were a lesbian? im not really sure. i identified as bi/pan from freshman year to junior year i think, but then was realizing i definitely had a preference and didn’t want to be with guys in a relationship at all to be honest but even up until last summer i was really questioning if i was asexual, so its been a journey but i think i finally fully realized i am a happy happy lesbian after meeting lynn

At what age did you come out (if you have)? i was 14 when i first told my parents i was bi, 18 when i said im a lesbian 

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)? just my girly friend

Talk about how your day went i worked this morning 7-11 after only sleeping 4 hours since i got hooked on ‘tipping the velvet’ the bbc miniseries, said goodbye to a friend, had school and did a presentation on how to make rosemilk bubble tea, i ate at a moomin cafe with my coworker, and now am working on homework and doing this survey and putting off my night cleaning duties eheh

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future  i just want to have a family and to have my books published, thats all i really need. a loving wife, my sister still by my side as my partner in crime, so many children, so many stories finally told that people are reading. i really want to build a lovely house for my family like my grandparents did once upon a time, with secret rooms and unique hiding places, a house they can pass down as they grow up and it can have our lineage. i want to live by the mountains and trees and water, i want to be able to speak mandarin, cantonese, korean, japanese, icelandic, italian, arabic, and polish fluently

[it-was-not-the-cat]

Questions 1-99.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?Heaven - PVRIS, What's Wrong - PVRIS, Walk Alone - PVRIS, Winter - PVRIS, I Like Me Better - Lauv, Now or Never - Halsey2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?The lead singer of PVRIS, probably. I'll be seeing her in February, but not technically meeting her. 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.I don't have a book near me at all, haha4: What do you think about most?"Where the hell is my cat?"5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?"I'm home" This was literally 2 days ago HHAHAHA6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?With7: What’s your strangest talent?I honestly have no idea. I'm not that good at strange things haha8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)Girls are pretty; Boys are icky.9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?Nope.10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?I honestly don't know haha.11: Do you have any strange phobias?GRASSHOPPERS 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?Hah, funny story, a rock once. Got a bloody nose because it was stuck and had to go to the doctor to get it removed.13: What’s your religion?I don't really follow any religion.14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Coming inside.15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Wayy behind it.16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?PVRIS, hands down.17: What was the last lie you told?I'm going to vacuum today.18: Do you believe in karma?Sometimes, I guess.19: What does your URL mean?When I used to self harm, I would tell people that it was just a scratch from the cat, but that was a lie. It was not the cat.20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?Greatest weakness is probably saying no to people. Greatest strength is being lazy. 21: Who is your celebrity crush?Demi Lovato and Lynn Gunn22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?Nope. 23: How do you vent your anger?I just get in my own little bubble and just get angry at everything or shut everyone out. 24: Do you have a collection of anything?Rocks and shot glasses from my travels.25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Chatting online. Not necessarily video chatting, just like messaging. 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?\I'm a lot happier with myself than I used to be. But I have a long way to go before I'm completely happy with myself. 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?I hate hearing people chew and swallow. I love Jasper's purring. 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?"What if I never started cutting?" 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Ghosts- YES, Aliens - no.30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.Right arm - coffee cup. Left arm - wall. 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?It just smells like the air? I kinda smell the coffee next to me. 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?South Side, St Joe.33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?East Coast34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?Tim McGraw. 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?Just to be freaking happy.36: Define Art.I don't even know. 37: Do you believe in luck?Mmm, sometimes?38: What’s the weather like right now?It's fall, cold and windy, but like perfect. 39: What time is it?1:33 pm40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Yes, I drive. I've never like gotten into a wreck, but I've hit 3 deer...41: What was the last book you read?My textbook for my Psych of Communications class. Hah, we read it cover to cover. 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?I don't hate it, but it's not my favorite. 43: Do you have any nicknames?Mac.44: What was the last film you saw?How The Grinch Stole Christmas while I was babysitting.45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?I have a lot of problems with my back and hips. I wouldn't really think of it as an injury because it wasn't caused by anything in particular, but it is definitely something that hurts like a mf.46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?Yeah.47: Do you have any obsessions right now?My cat. 48: What’s your sexual orientation?GAYYYY49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?Yeah that I was a lesbian back in middle school. I didn't know I was a lesbian then, but ayyy.50: Do you believe in magic?I really don't know for sure. 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Yeah, but like I'm not like absolutely horrible toward them. I just don't forget what they did to me. 52: What is your astrological sign?Libra53: Do you save money or spend it?Both.54: What’s the last thing you purchased?Blockus.55: Love or lust?Love!56: In a relationship?YES :)57: How many relationships have you had?Serious relationships? 2. Stupid middle school relationships? like 4.58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?Yeah.59: Where were you yesterday?I just stayed at the apartment all day. 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?A headband, tweezers, and my backpack.61: Are you wearing socks right now?Nope.62: What’s your favourite animal?Currently, giraffe.63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?HAHAHA my what to what64: Where is your best friend?Sitting right next to me :)65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.secrets-written-in-my-skin, h--e--r--o--i--n--a, lesbian-and-lesbian-, take-a-look-to-my-life, sheekeepsmewarm66: What is your heritage?Uhh, American?67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Allie and I were playing games.We were probably playing Snakes and Ladders.68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?wut.69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?Hell yeah.70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?Yeah, honestly I would like to have me as a friend. 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?I would try to help the dog, but also call someone to help and then explain to my boss what happened. If it was my boss I have right now, she'd be understanding. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?Oh yikes. I would probably tell people it was happening. I would definitely travel with whatever money I had left and I would be absolutely terrified. 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.Love. 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?Don't Be So Hard On Yourself - Jess Glynne75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?I would prefer not to put that out there. 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?You should probably like, love the person. But also being able to be yourself around them. And being able to silently sit in the same room, doing separate things, and still enjoying it and not finding it awkward. 77: How can I win your heart?Bring me food.78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?It can, but for me it just brings anxiety. 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?To start talking to Allie off anon. 80: What size shoes do you wear?Anywhere from a 7.5-8.5. It depends on the brand/shoe. 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?Just the normal thing, birth date, death date, and like "daughter, wife, mother, etc"82: What is your favourite word?Probably fuck or shit?83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.Love.84: What is a saying you say a lot?"I love him" (I say "him" funny and I say it about my cat.) or "Listen, Linda".85: What’s the last song you listened to?Jolene - Dolly Parton.86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?Currently, purple and turquoise/teal.87: What is your current desktop picture?A colorful space thing I designed on a website.88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?My old manager. He was such a dick. He made me hate my job so much that I would get insanely anxious before going in and then I'd call in. 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Uhmm... I don't really know. 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?Freak the fuck out, scream, wake up Allie, grab my cat, and leave. 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Oooh, umm to see the future?92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?The first time I met Allie in person.93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?The part of my life that I never talk about.94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?They are all way out of my league. 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?Ireland.96: Do you have any relatives in jail?Not that I know of.97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?Probably when I was little, but not that I know of. 98: Ever been on a plane?Yes! 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?"uhh..."

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My Year in Pictures: 2016

Having realised I posted so little last year, it’s time to get back into it with a lovely little memory post - my year in pictures, once more!

So in January we had just got back from travelling and had Christmas back in England, so really very little happened as we were very tired and broke and searching for jobs. But we saw our lovely friends who we’d missed loads over the last four months - I will always be grateful for those who stick around for us to come back to. 

Gacy? Storge?

In February, we did what we do every year - make sure we don’t go out on Valentine’s Day because of the ridiculous prices and busy-ness, and went out for dinner for an anti-Valentine’s instead. 2 for 1 cocktails are fun when one of you has to drive ;) 

George, Stacey, James and I (AKA Universally Challenged) lost at the pub quiz in the Comrades Club, though we really won as coming dead last means you get FOOD.

Tash, Beth and I also met up for Beth’s birthday, when we went to Soton for the ultimate student night in Jester’s - that student club where you have to wear old shoes because God knows what crap you’re going to get from the sticky floors in there. 

In March, I took THE PLUNGE. One I had been wanting to take for years. I got a tattoo!! My little Mantine is on my left thigh, happily swimming around like the manta rays we swim with in Fiji on our round-the-world trip (though he is a little smaller than the ones we met). It was sore but not as bad as I thought… though doing it on your ribs like I thought I wanted originally might be a different story. This is a photo of it on the day: 

And how could George, Stacey, James and I pass up a Misugo’s and Creams? 

God knows what we did in April, other than watching Eurovision with Alec… where a face swap meant that a celebrity turned up out of the blue!

In fact, April (or really March 30th) saw me start my new job with the Haulfryn Group as a Marketing Executive, where I still am today. 

In May, Beth came up to see me, and we took a lovely summery walk around Virginia Water Lake. 

Then James and I made sure we went to Comicon in London, where we finally got to meet our idols, the Yogscast & Hat Films! They really were lovely, especially their man man Lewis, who made sure to talk to us for ages despite the hours-long queue behind us! 

In June, Stef and I showed our mutual love/obsession with sushi by having a sushi-making session (though I may have got a bit tipsy and got impatient with all the fiddly rolling!). 

For those of you who remember (or care) the Queen turned 90 in June, so at work we had a ‘dress like a royal’ day. I won and my fellow Marketer/graphic designer Hannah (AKA Kate Middleton) came second! 

July marks the second half of the year, and also when my year started to pick up. That always seems to be the case with me - I do so much more exciting things in the second half! Though nothing could top my 4 months travelling, I’m sure. 

James and I took advantage of my company being the owner of holiday parks throughout the UK and took a trip down to Paignton, Devon, to stay in a luxury lodge, relax, and see his lovely cousins who live down there. We even had a hot tub!! 

We also finally met his cousins’ hairless kitties, who are actually gorgeous and not weird like so many people think about hairless cats. They were so friendly, though it is a bit weird stroking something without any fur! The female with a little bit of fur is named Lumi, and the completely bald male is Kuro (photo credit to Elise Preston for the latter). 

Those eyes though.

James and I also took advantage of the lovely scenery around us and the hot Summery days to play Pokemon Go, as it had only just come out then! 

I was also reunited with my uni girls again in Shoredich (2 out of 3 of them) and we had a lovely time, eating delicious street food and catching up (dat oversized bag wow)!

My nephew also turned 1 on the 16th of July, so my sister had a birthday party for him. 

In August I saw the girls (and Freddy!) again at a Hong Kong Drinking Team gig in London; perfect location for all of us to meet up! 

I also took time off work to spend time with my little sister Harriet at the beach…

…had more sushi and plum wine with Stef at Mikado’s…

…and saw the girls (all of them this time) again in London!)

Also in August, James and I took a day trip into London to take advantage of Harriet’s Merlin pass! 

We had crocodile and ostrich burgers at Shaka Zulu (a cocktail, burger and chips for £10 in the middle of London, whaaaat?) and then went onto Maddam Toussards - somewhere I’d never been, but had wanted to ever since seeing loads of them dotted around countries you’d never even think they’d have them on our travelling adventures. 

We met loads of celebrities there too #blessed.

With that chaotic month over, September didn’t slow down that much, with our friends Rosie and Josh having a leaving party before they jetted off to South America to do some travelling. 

See my Facebook timeline for an amazing video of Josh’s dancing!

My sisters and I also took my dad out for a late Father’s Day trip into London to again take advantage of Harriet’s Merlin passes - we went to the London Dungeons and the Aquarium! The Dungeons were brilliant, having not been there for ages, - of course my dad pointed out every inaccuracy, and Amelia being pregnant meant she couldn’t go on the little rides they had in there, haha!

Beth also came down to go to one of James’ gigs…

…and I was sad to have to move offices in September, as my commute would be slightly longer and I’d miss reading by the beautiful Thames on my lunch breaks. 

October saw Stef turn 23, and we had a big house party over her’s, which was great fun! Sam debated heavily with her mum, we took some great photos, and I saw Laura again for the first time in nearly 2 years. ^-^ 

We also went back down to Devon to see James’ cousins again…

…went to MCM again and met Tomska, another of our Youtube heroes…

…and finally I went down to Soton to go with the girls to Oceana for Halloween! We had such a good time at predrinks together in our posh little hotel rooms.  

Sadly, James’ gran passed away at the end of September. However, she very lovingly left her home to James, and so we had spent the whole of October and November doing it up, so that we could finally live together after 7 whole years of being together. It took weeks of painting and sorting and carpets and quite a bit of our savings, but it was totally, completely worth it, just to be finally living together after so long.

In November, our lovely neighbour, Joe, installed our shower for us and put up the beautiful splashboards that we picked in a stunning slate colour. 

November marked our 7 year anniversary - can you believe it?! 

So, at the end of the month we went to the Ice Bar and Winter Wonderland, both of which we’d never been to before, so it was lovely and a completely new experience, going around one of the biggest Christmas markets in the UK. 

And what anniversary would be complete without sushi…

Weirdly, PM Theresa May came to our work on Friday to open our new Maidenhead offices, being the constituent for Maidenhead. She had her funky shoes on and looks suitably confused. This may be when one of our managers asked “Is Brexit actually going to happen?” 

December was SUCH a busy month. Not least because James and I FINALLY MOVED IN TOGETHER!! My cats tried to sabotage our efforts however by camping in my last pile of dirty laundry…

We moved in on the 2nd of December, and due to our efforts of the previous couple of months, it very quickly felt homely and cosy. We bought 2 sofas from the charity shop, put up the Christmas decorations, and - most importantly - made sure both our computers fit in the living room for optimal gaming time!

Despite being pretty ill the first week, it was great.

Our good friend Lynne even made us this lovely moving in present!

After all that excitement, I had a very early birthday party on the 10th of December, seeing all my friends in the local pub, The Squirrels. 

I also made sure to see the girls from uni one last time this year in London for dinner and drinks.

In the middle of December, Haulfryn had a Christmas party, which I could take James along to. It was really fun - it was a masquerade mall in Reading, with a three-course meal and wine, as well as acrobats and other acts to keep as all entertained, and a casino for James to try his luck! Having been at Haulfryn for almost a year now, it’s nice to be able to go to a big event like this. 

For my birthday this year, James really went all out. I had no idea what he had planned - only that we were going to London, and I had to wear my Pokemon dress! So I donned it and off we went.

First he took me to Sticks ‘n’ Sushi in Covent Garden for a late lunch - and as all I seem to eat is sushi you’ll know how incredible that must have been!

Mmmm big decanter of sake.

Then afterwards we got on the tube to Hammersmith, where the London Philharmonic Orchestra were playing… and what were they playing? Pokemon!

It was incredible - they played music from all of the games, telling the stories of the games throughout, and showing a lot of the game footage on their screen. It was incredibly nostalgic, amazingly well done, and even if you aren’t a fan of Pokemon, the Philharmonic are obviously incredible, and so the music was flawless. 

I couldn’t have asked for a better (or geekier) birthday. Thank you James. 

On the 23rd, Hong Kong Drinking Team had been asked to headline the ‘best of the year’ show in the Facebar, and so I went along - and they didn’t disappoint. While most of the acts were heavy, James and his band dressed up as Christmas characters (James: Santa; Jack: Jesus; Dave: sexy Christmas pudding,#; Luke: Bongle the Bear from Rainbow (he thought it was a reindeer in the fancy dress shop); and Charlie: sexy elf). And boy, was Charlie a sexy elf. They did Santa Baby and Charlie was especially camp. My favourite gig of theirs for the whole year!

Christmas was incredibly special this year, as for the first time James and I didn’t have to balance our days - we were just together. As cheesy as it sounds, it was magical! 

For Christmas Eve, we went to a onesie party up a the Squirrels to see in the big day.

Christmas Day saw us opening our stockings together, and then going to the Squirrels for Christmas drinks. 

Afterwards we had a lovely Christmas dinner with the Skinners and a chilled out evening.

On Boxing Day, after seeing my Mum and Amelia, James and I had my dad and Harriet over, as my dad hasn’t had a family Christmas in a few years. It was great - we played Cards Against Humanity (which my dad loved!), I cooked, and James’ parents came over late afternoon.

The last few days of the year were just as exciting. On the 30th, it was the Squirrels’ landlady’s birthday, and so we had an 80s night up the pub!

James also met Jess’ South African boyfriend Adrian, and now I’m worried about us staying together… they have a proper bromance going on!

Seeing in the New Year was just as great, with karaoke, dancing, and lots of booze. 

And lastly, as I put on a bit of weight travelling and got out of my fitness regime, I took up running this year rather than paying for the gym. It’s amazing how much more you want to exercise when you don’t have to travel as well! I smashed my distance goal for the year, and running has now become part of my lifestyle as well as an easy way to keep healthy. 

Thank you 2016, it’s been an incredible year. Here’s to the next - the first one of me being a ‘proper’ adult, responsible for a home. Gulp.