𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐂𝐑𝐄
no introductory paragraph and no thesis statement this time; under the cut you’re going to find the longest meta I’ve ever written in my life, chronicling the years following the rothfield university massacre and the extent of the affect that it has had on jordan as she perseveres through her final years of college and into her career as an actress.
trigger warnings for: mentions of panic attacks, ptsd, self-blame, self-shame. nothing explicit or graphic, and all of the above are mentioned early on.
additional: once again this is a long meta (final word count clocked at 4,820 words) and if you read through the whole thing, I worship the ground you walk on and will declare an international holiday in your name.
THE FIRST FIVE MONTHS.
immediately following the rothfield massacre, jordan goes radio silent on all her social media accounts. everything is privatized, accounts she doesn’t know are softblocked, and she logs out of everything and deletes the apps off of her phone.
she is still recovering from her injuries when the spring musical, ragtime, debuts; she does not perform during this time, nor does she attend performances. she holds no ill will to her understudy or the cast, and wishes everyone a good show. her castmates are understanding and assure her the show isn’t the same without her. they’re kind enough not to say anything else.
her professors are extremely understanding; she gets extensions on assignments through the end of the semester, with many of her professors requesting an essay going over the material that had been taught all semester showcasing what she’s learned in place of completing several projects and assignments ahead of the final. in some instances, the essay replaces the final. while jordan appreciates the accommodation, she hates feeling like this is all done out of pity.
socializing for jordan is almost non-existent. while the semester resumes, she doesn’t leave her dorm room much. her boss doesn’t put pressure on her to do much of her job duties and her fellow RAs help her out where she needs it, often covering duty nights and taking that pressure off her shoulders as she tries to get back to a semblance of ‘normal.’
additionally during this time, she is getting bombarded by media outlets with requests for an interview, comment, etc., both local, regional and national. this was the primary motivation for a social media cleanse, but some reporters hang around campus and jordan combats this by traveling in tight-knit groups or just full-stop out-running and evading reporters.
the semester ends, summer arrives, and jordan moves back in with abuela while her parents go to move out of her childhood home and relocate closer to columbus. brentwood has left a bad taste in the mouth of the riley family and columbus is close enough to where paul can still maintain his construction business; meanwhile, sofia is easily able to find a hospital in need of a trauma certified ER nurse to assist in their trauma center. when she’s able, she moves back home with her parents.
many family members come to assist with taking jordan to her therapy appointments so she doesn’t have to drive by herself. sarah will often clear her whole day on days where it’s her turn in the rotation, leaving the option open for jordan if she wants to get out of the house and do something. more often than not, jordan wants to go back home. she gets the feeling, in public, that she’s being stared at, even when she’s not, even when it’s irrational, and she just wants to be in quiet spaces where she has control over the situation.
outside of family, the person she reaches out to most is nick, who is also coping with the trauma of what happened. they have daily contact with each other in some form or another, be it phone calls, text messages, face time, etc. throughout the summer, nick comes to visit jordan. this is the only time she ventures out of the house for longer periods, though she and nick stick to quieter places, such as parks after dark, hiking trails at non-peak hours, and walking around the neighborhood or even just sitting on her porch.
FIRST SEMESTER, JUNIOR YEAR.
after five months of avoiding the internet, social media, surrounding herself with loved ones and diligently attending therapy, jordan returns to rothfield university for her junior year. people still stare at her but it wears off after the first week and she blocks it out of her mind; even with the blinders, the stress bubbles under the surface and causes her to have mild anxiety attacks, most often in the privacy of her dorm room, where she’ll lock herself up in and cry or scream into pillows to get it out of her system.
on the outside, she is extremely composed. being involved in theatre since she was five has primed her for what is possibly her greatest performance yet: a perfectly fine, not-traumatized person. she’s still seeing a therapist weekly, but the façade is something she needs in all non-private spaces in order to get through even the simplest moments of the day. she doesn’t like attention being on her if she isn’t in control of that attention.
the façade first shatters in public when she has her audition for the fall musical, mamma mia. the auditions are held in the oliver rhodes auditorium, on the same stage where her final confrontation with elliot took place months before. jordan mentally prepared herself ahead of time but this wasn’t enough; halfway through her audition song, she blanks completely on the lyrics and doesn’t recover. she gives a quick apology, rushes off stage and takes shelter in the nearest bathroom, where she locks herself in a stall and devolves into a full-blown panic attack.
it lasts five minutes; she goes from hysterically crying to feeling completely numb, splashes cold water on her face and spends a few minutes cleaning herself up before she leaves. nick has her things gathered and he helps her back to her dorm room, where she crashes for the rest of the day.
the director of the show is empathetic to jordan’s situation and admits that it was short-sighted to use that specific auditorium for auditions. auditions have been moved to a different auditorium with the understanding that the show and rehearsals will still be held in the oliver rhodes auditorium. he invites jordan to do her audition over. after sleeping on it, jordan accepts the offer. she gets a callback following her more successful audition, and is eventually cast as sophie.
her fellow thespians have a mixed reaction to her being cast in the lead. while overall many are sympathetic toward her trauma, they see it as unfair that she got a second chance to audition and feel that the same opportunity wouldn’t have been given to anyone else, regardless of the circumstances. others think it’s favoritism at work, and that she was cast out of pity. this wears jordan down and she considers pulling out of the show very early on into rehearsals because she starts to believe that she was cast out of pity and not because she earned the part.
after expressing these concerns privately with the director, he informs her the reason she got a second chance at her audition was because of her reputation within the theatre department and her talent she’s been displaying since her freshman year. he knows her work ethic and he knows her skills, and felt that she earned a second chance, given the circumstance. she was cast because she was right for the role, not because he pitied her and wanted to be nice.
it’s a push she needs; someone sees her as more than the horrific things she’s experienced in only 21 years of life and it’s enough for her to start accepting for herself that she is more than some senseless tragedy. everything isn’t magically better, but she allows herself to start being more vulnerable in therapy and more vulnerable around her close friends. it’s exactly what she needs, and having a show to focus on helps keep her mind from wandering into dark places.
during this time, media requests for interviews have died down significantly. jordan is back on her socials with her accounts still locked; she doesn’t post much, and mostly only uses it as a means to reach out to friends privately. some nights she’ll look up coverage of the rothfield massacre, immediately regret it and turn off her phone.
rehearsals for mamma mia continue and while it’s tough at first, performing on the same stage she was almost killed on, jordan pushes through. she sees it as her moment to take back her power; tensions among the cast over her casting in the show becomes diluted once rehearsals kick into high gear and it’s clear that, like them, jordan wants to put on a good show and is giving her all to do it. not everyone is fully convinced but it doesn’t overpower the professionalism they work to maintain. even if they did, jordan’s over it to the point that she’s determined to rise above whatever’s thrown at her.
performances are a hit and it’s enough to bolster jordan’s confidence in a more honest and true-to-form sense. she goes home for thanksgiving break and when she returns to rothfield to prep for finals, she feels more like her old self than she has in a long time.
JUNIOR YEAR, SECOND SEMESTER, PART ONE.
heading back into her second semester, jordan is focused on getting back into her full rhythm, performing in the spring play, the spring musical and the dance showcase as she had in previous semesters (the most recent one being the exception).
things are quiet. she still doesn’t go out much, but it’s less because she wants to hide herself away and more because she wants to focus on herself and her healing. she now attends therapy twice a month on a trial basis, to see how she likes the adjustment and how it fares with her progress.
during this time, she reconnects with her love of painting, sketching, and guitar. she works mostly with acrylics and watercolors, and despite how messy it is, charcoal. with guitar, she’ll mostly practice songs she already knows or strum a nonsensical melody as a means of getting back into the art. she composes a couple of songs during this time, but doesn’t think they’re anything spectacular — just what she needs to create in that moment.
JUNIOR YEAR, SECOND SEMESTER, PART TWO: THE ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE ROTHFIELD MASSACRE.
the media comes out of the woodwork in march to cover the one-year anniversary of the rothfield massacre. even with jordan’s social media locked down to friends only, this doesn’t stop journalists and podcasters from reaching out for comments. it gets so bad to the point that they show up on campus and will wait outside academic buildings for jordan to leave and try to get a comment from her, or convince her to do an interview. the first time she’s ambushed, she musters out an excuse that she has class and retreats to her dorm room, where she skips her classes for the rest of the day.
the ambush triggers a mild panic attack that she’s able to navigate through and when she comes down from it, she calls nick and asks him if he’ll stay with her, which he agrees. she paints, he works on homework, they both order pizza in and her floor partner is kind enough to collect it so she doesn’t have to go to the door and risk being bombarded by more reporters wanting a quote.
the following weeks consist of jordan’s friends escorting her to her classes and around campus as needed and creating a barrier between her and the media until campus police step in because the situation has progressed past journalists doing their jobs and to a disruption of a student’s education. the ambushing stops, but jordan is still consistently getting pinged on social media and even through her school email from reporters wanting “just five minutes” to talk.
by april, things calm down and she’s able to resume life as a college student normally. she still doesn’t leave buildings by herself and is constantly looking around out of fear of being ambushed again. it takes a while to wear off.
SENIOR YEAR AT ROTHFIELD UNIVERSTY.
jordan is still progressing in her journey to heal from the trauma of the rothfield massacre, but she’s in a good place mentally. she still attends therapy twice a month, and the sessions along with maintaining her normal activities and passions have helped her return to a sense of normalcy and stability. while effects of her trauma still remain and she still struggles from time to time with her anxiety and PTSD, she is making good progress.
her focus in her senior year is on doing as many shows as she can to add to her acting resume. this is all in an effort to get her foot in the door with as many area theatre companies as possible, and figuring out her path post-graduation.
area theatre companies are hesitant to take jordan on post-graduation, due to the notoriety of the rothfield massacre. jordan starts to see the long-term negative impact that the massacre is going to have on her, and how it might hinder her career and that she’ll have to cast her net wider.
in the spring, jordan graduates with a bachelor of fine arts in theatre performance. she and nick get arrangements together for a move to new york city in early summer.
RELOCATION TO NEW YORK CITY.
new york city is a breath of fresh air for jordan. no one knows who she is, and if the do, they don’t care. everything is fast-paced and unpredictable, and she thrives on an opportunity to start anew.
she and nick share an apartment; nick works as a physical therapist with a local medical center, whereas jordan pulls long shifts as a bartender at a night club. the tips help tremendously with keeping her afloat and by daylight, she’s walking into every open casting call and audition the city has to offer.
the first several months are difficult for jordan. while she’s not afraid of rejection, going weeks and weeks without so much as a callback or only getting limited gigs that pay little to nothing with no promise of longevity starts to wear on her confidence. she knew it was going to be hard, but she considers she might be in over her head. part of her wonders if casting is focusing more on her infamy of surviving the rothfield massacre than the fact that she can be fully off book for sides in ten minutes.
she doesn’t give up, but there are days she comes home from auditions in tears out of complete and total frustration. sometimes she takes rejections very hard, especially when she gets so far along in the audition process, only for the director to decide to go “in another direction”.
HER FIRST BIG BREAK.
an off-broadway production of little shop of horrors is announced and the theatre circuit goes wild. jordan gets her name on the audition list and it’s the first ray of hope she’s had in a while, but she doesn’t allow it to cloud her senses or get blindsided by it. her focus is on getting her audition song and sides down, but makes a promise to herself that she’s going to have fun with the audition process as much as she’s going to take it seriously. she prepares herself for rejection, but frames this as a perfect opportunity to get her name out into the world and to network.
she continues to keep that mindset as she’s given callback after callback, and is in tears when she gets off the phone with the director after she’s offered the part of audrey. the show doesn’t pay an astronomical mount and she still has to pull shifts at the club, but she can take it a little easier and still be able to breathe.
rehearsals go off without a hitch and the excitement of working her first professional acting job is more powerful than any nerves or doubt she could ever have. her focus is on doing her level best, which she achieves; opening week is packed house after packed house and jordan feels as though she’s floating on air.
the show runs for twelve weeks before closing, and during those twelve weeks jordan makes connections with various actors, writers, producers and directors within the theatre circuit in new york city. her name is becoming less and less synonymous with the rothfield massacre and more with a strong, hardworking young woman with an impressive work ethic and an immeasurable talent for the arts.
ESTABLISHING A CAREER.
the wrapping of little shop of horrors is not the end of jordan’s stint as a stage actress in new york city. shortly after the show wraps, jordan is contacted by a producer who wants her to read for an up-and-coming musical based off of the 1987 classic (and her favorite movie), dirty dancing.
jordan is cast as frances “baby” houseman, opposite of tony award-winning actor daniel cruz’s johnny castle.
workshops begin for dirty dancing: the musical and last ten weeks; during this time, jordan begins to really hone her craft as an actress, becoming a sponge and absorbing knowledge and methods from the talent around her. she forms a close bond with daniel, who gives her helpful critique when needed as well as advice as she stands on the precipice of the next stage of her life and her career.
following the workshop, the show debuts off-broadway to test audience reception as changes are made, songs are re-written, scrapped or replaced, choreography is changed, etc. jordan learns to be even more adaptable than she thought she was, and audiences overall love the show, with many attendees coming back multiple times to see the show evolve and take shape.
as the show is polished and primed to transition to broadway, investors are hesitant to keep jordan, an unknown, on as baby. many want to see a more well-known name in the role to boost ticket sales, and this isn’t much of a secret. the white elephant in the room is, undoubtedly, the fear that jordan’s connection to rothfield will overshadow the buzz and press for the musical and draw attention in a negative way.
the producers and director invite investors to a special performance of the show and jordan pushes herself harder than she ever has. it pays off — investors see that so much of the character of baby in this show is brought to life because of the nuances and charm jordan brings to the role, directly from her own influence. all doubts about casting an unknown in the lead are washed away.
BECOMING A BROADWAY ACTRESS.
the move of the show from off-broadway to broadway is a year-long endeavor; the director and producers had the option to expedite it in mere months but decided that a longer process to iron out details and make it polished would benefit the production better.
during this time, press starts to buzz about the upcoming show. jordan makes a point to focus any and all social media postings in specific reference to the show, stating in one instagram post that “this is something I have been working toward since I was five years old and some days I can’t believe it’s actually happening, and every day I’m grateful and humbled that it is.”
as the premier date draws closer, press kicks up for the show. jordan’s agent tells all press that questions about the rothfield massacre will not be permitted. everyone is compliant, focusing on the show and on jordan’s background in the arts and love for performing.
the show premiers to a sold-out theatre for the first month and continues gaining momentum as reviews continue to be glowing. jordan is regarded as a “true triple-threat” with powerhouse vocals and a stage presence that comes effortlessly. she is quickly regarded as one to watch and a potential frontrunner for best lead actress in a musical at the tony awards.
while jordan doesn’t win the tony for best actress, the show takes home several awards, including best choreography, best direction, best costume design, and best screenplay. ticket sales continue to thrive and dirty dancing: the musical continues to gain popularity with audiences.
jordan stays with the show for a year and a half before tossing her hat in the ring and auditioning for the broadway revival of west side story. after rounds and rounds of callbacks, she lands the role of maria.
jordan is with west side story for nine months when her agent sends her sides for an audition for an untitled netflix series. after reading through the sides and reading about the show, jordan decides to audition for the experience, and to cast her net a little wider.
TRANSITIONING TO FILM AND TELEVISION.
the untitled netflix project gets is title around the time jordan is doing screen tests for the main character. behind the curtain follows julie chambers, a young photojournalist who returns to her hometown after the sudden death of her childhood best friend, melissa. the circumstances around melissa’s death are suspicious to julie and seem anything but accidental; eager to find answers, julie begins investigating melissa’s death — not realizing how in over her head she’s about to become.
jordan is the first person cast in the project; the internet is mixed on the response, with broadway fiends ecstatic to see her getting more visibility and those outside the circuit unsure of netflix casting an “unknown” in a major role, but cautiously optimistic.
filming takes place in boston over the course of six months, and jordan stays in the hotel the studio puts the cast up in. her focus is on learning the culture around sets and making sure she doesn’t screw up.
media attention while filming is moderate; paparazzi are around mainly to get photos of the bigger named actors working on the project, but a number of photos of jordan circulate online both during filming and in off-hours when she and some of the cast and crew explore the city, visit museums and restaurants, and occasionally check out the bar and club scene.
for the most part, publications and social media accounts circulating the photos refer to jordan as an actress cast as the lead in behind the curtain; the only publications bringing up the rothfield massacre are tabloid rags.
jordan meets with her publicist and agent to structure a plan to address jordan’s past and her connection with the rothfield massacre.
an exclusive interview is arranged with rolling stone for after behind the curtain wraps and is finalized and press to promote the show begins. the article primarily focuses on jordan’s journey to move past the rothfield massacre and turn over a new leaf and finding the process of filming behind the curtain and exploring that story to be extremely cathartic and healing.
response to the article is mostly positive; there is a small corner of the internet that sees her as leeching money and notoriety off of a horrific event, but it’s a pretty silent minority that’s squashed quickly.
behind the curtain premiers over fourth of july weekend and rapidly skyrockets to the no. 1 slot on top streamed shows and stays there for a consistent three weeks.
social media response is massive; behind the curtain trends worldwide on twitter all of fourth of july weekend, with everyone revering newcomer jordan riley for a memorable breakout performance as julie chambers
critical reception is high; a few critics call the plot derivative but still praise the talent of the actors bringing the story to life, but overall the consensus is that behind the curtain is the stand-out series of not only the summer, but the year. many predict emmy and golden globe nominations for the cast and crew, jordan included.
following the success of behind the curtain, jordan gets in more audition rooms for small one to three-episode guest spot arcs on sitcoms and drama series.
one such series is huntington general, a well-known medical drama that is entering its fifth season when jordan auditions for a guest arc that spans the first two episodes of the season — something that propels her even further into the spotlight, with ratings across the country hitting 20 million viewers.
jordan is cast as danielle burke, a bubbly patient staying at huntington general hospital long-term while she waits for a donor heart to become available for a transplant. a heart becomes available due to a crash near the hospital, but when doctors go to recover the transplant heart, it’s discovered another patient at a rival hospital is higher on the transplant list, despite danielle’s condition worsening by the hour. danielle ends up moving up on the transplant list because the other patient dies while the organ is in route to be delivered; it becomes a race against the clock to get danielle prepped for surgery and in the operating room, and she’s knocking on death’s door. the surgery lasts six hours and the transplant takes — until it doesn’t. the doctors want to hook danielle up to an LVAD — which she denies. when she’s told she’ll die without it, she tearfully responds that she knows, she’s tired of fighting, and she just wants to have a peaceful final few hours of her life.
jordan’s film debut is in the widely anticipated chokehold from horror mastermind quincy larson, which angles a critical lens on the tropes popularized in horror movies and especially the slasher sub-genre, and turns many of them on their head.
jordan is cast as tessa monroe, a college dropout moving back in with her mom as she tries to figure out the next steps in her life. when one of her coworkers at the local stop-n-shop is brutally murdered while closing the store, the town is thrown into a frenzy. more murders and attacks happen around tessa in a short span of time, and fingers start to point at her as the prime suspect. she has to work to prove her innocence, while evading the killer and staying alive.
audience reception to the film is strong, and viewers are overall impressed with the quality of the project and the clear talent jordan exhibits as she embodies a character that many would think would be so similar to her role in behind the curtain, but is distinctly different — which subverts the expectation that she’s in danger of being typecast.
critics have nothing but praise for jordan, citing her performance as “raw, emotional and powerful — a masterclass performance in bringing a truthfulness to the horrors that man can do against man.”
many people draw conclusions that she delved into her own trauma from surviving a real-life murder spree for the performance; years down the road, when she is more comfortable speaking freely about the experience, she confirms this.
BECOMING A HOUSEHOLD NAME.
following the success of behind the curtain’s first and second seasons and chokehold, which is immediately greenlit for a sequel, jordan takes a short break to go back home and visit with family.
she also takes the time to privately reach out to the families of the victims in the rothfield massacre, checking in with them and presenting the idea she had for starting six $5,000 scholarships in the name of each victim in the massacre. all of the money would be provided by jordan and donors and would renew all four years of a recipient’s educational career.
the response is overwhelmingly positive; she gives each family time to think about it and expresses that she will not be publicizing this until all details are sorted out and she has expressed permission to go through with each scholarship. all six scholarships are signed off on by family
in addition to the scholarships, jordan starts a fundraiser to raise money to build a memorial honoring the memory of the victims lost in the rothfield massacre. many alumni of rothfield donate to the cause, with jordan donating $100,000 out of her own pocket to fund the project. the university accepts the money, with the memorial being a three-year construction project, completed right on schedule.
philanthropy becomes an important thing for jordan; following the scholarship fund supported by both her and multiple donors and the memorial construction, she makes it a routine habit to donate 20% of her cheque to a cause she wants to support — more often than not, RAINN (rape, abuse & incest national network). additionally, jordan organizes community events raising support and awareness for RAINN, which in turn has brought benefit to the organization in their outreach to victims.
there is no longer a gag order placed on press regarding rothfield; any time a reporter or talk show host asks jordan about it, she will specifically focus on the scholarship funds and the memorial, as well as her work with RAINN, citing that keeping the memory of those who lost their lives alive and helping victims of abuse get out of those situations and back on their feet is more important.
“I’ve made my peace long ago with what happened in rothfield. now, I want to do what I can with my voice to make things easier for victims and to help them in whatever way I can.”
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raccoon city was the first proper ‘home’ jill ever had.
her mother died when she was young and dick valentine took good care of her and legitimately loves his daughter, but his career as a thief doesn’t offer much stability for the long-term. a good score could keep them sustained for months, and the longest they ever stayed in one spot was a year and a half at most; more commonly, they’d move around every six to nine months, sticking to larger cities over smaller communities. it’s easier to blend in with the crowd if there is a crowd to begin with, and depending on the area, police are more concerned with solving violent crimes and getting those perpetrators off the streets than figuring out where thousands of dollars worth of insured art or jewelry disappeared to.
dick had gifted jill her first lock pick when she was eight years old, starting her on simple locks and teaching her the basics of breaking and entering; by nine, she had honed her skills on more complicated locks and by ten, she was accompanying her father on smaller jobs, learning applicable skills in the field, most notably: casing a target, all while drawing as little attention as possible.
by the time she reached her teenage years, jill was regularly going on jobs with her father, having a perfectly delicate touch when it came to picking the most complex of locks and the ability to squeeze into small spaces and navigate them with ease. throw in being light on her feet and agile as well as keenly observant, perceptive and having a sharp eye for detail, and she was a natural apprentice to her father’s legacy. while other kids were going to soccer practice and being tutored for the S.A.T.S., jill was spending her afternoons taking note of optimal entries and exits into a building, what security protocols were in place, and when there was an adequate window of time to slip in and back out, undetected.
she was seventeen years old when dick had finally gotten caught. they had gotten too comfortable in sticking around the same metropolitan area for one last, good score, and detectives came knocking with a pile of incriminating evidence and a warrant. taking full responsibility, his last conversations with jill before the indictment consisted of him apologizing for the way he raised her, and urging her to do something good with her life. resistant at first, she eventually made a promise that she’d live a normal life.
six months later, she enlisted in the united states army and after passing basic training with flying colors, was recruited to serve active duty in the field. despite her background in crime, she showed great discipline and grace under pressure when put in tense situations and was recommended for delta force training, pending passing the selection process and training. she excelled, naturally, at lock picking, and surprised recruits with the ease with which she could assemble and disassemble explosives.
after three years of serving in the delta forces, jill was honorably discharged. after twenty-two years of moving from place to place with no promise of where she’d be in six months and the entire world at her disposal, jill found herself at a loss of where to go next.
enter, albert wesker and the special tactics and rescue service (S.T.A.R.S.) within the raccoon police department, raccoon city, pennsylvania.
while jill had never had a great desire to follow a career in law enforcement, the fact that S.T.A.R.S. didn’t have to deal with nearly as much red tape as uniformed officers on the force did held great appeal to her. her talents in lock picking and bomb disposal would have applicable use for something good; something helpful to a greater cause. with no other options lined up and the promise of good benefits, a steady paycheck, and a chance to really experience life, jill took the offer and found herself a spot in rear security on the alpha team.
the apartment she settled down in on the corner of crescent and central street was small, quaint, and the first place she was really able to call her own. she had never been a sentimental person, but the prospect of something as normal as setting down roots in a place that she could call and make her own was truly exhilarating. this was her home, her city, her life to make what she wanted it to be. that excitement carried her through her first year on the team, where she connected and made friends with many of her fellow operatives, and found the rush of each case more potent than the previous.
people around the city were recognizing her more and more, as well. she tried to brew her own coffee at home whenever she could but more often than not, the convenience of sigourney’s would win out and it wasn’t long before the morning barista had her order memorized and started by the time she walked through the door. librarians were always helpful when she needed to pull newspaper articles to cross-reference with case files, and her favorite place to spend warm, sunny afternoons was under the oak trees at raccoon park with a novel of her choosing.
in her building, she was friendly with her neighbors, and connected most with becky and priscilla mcgee from down the hall after helping them find their lost dog one afternoon. she became a regular babysitter for the girls whenever their parents needed a night out and would graciously put the scraggly bouquets of flowers they would bring her after school on display in her apartment. the mundanities most people took for granted were jill’s favorite things about living in raccoon city.
seeing it all come crashing down around her in a full-scale biological disaster is a special kind of devastation she can’t process at the time. even after the city is wiped out by the missile strike, it takes a solid week to solidify that raccoon city is gone: an entire city with a rich history and tens of thousands of people, obliterated in seconds, all because of the hubris and negligence of umbrella. it’s why jill feels such a strong sense of obligation to hold them accountable for their greed: the cost of it wasn’t just her first home, but also countless innocent lives that deserve justice.
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DEEP DIVE: THE SPENCER MANSION INCIDENT & HOW IT IS DIRECTLY LINKED TO JILL’S SURVIVAL OF NEMESIS / THE RACCOON CITY INCIDENT.
buckle up, rookies, this is gonna be a long one.
jill has seen a lot in her 24 years of life leading up to the mansion incident; she absolutely saw death in combat firsthand while in the army, and with her employment in the raccoon police department, has been part of countless dangerous operations, from drug raids to murder investigations and everything in-between. she’s seen so much violence and while she’s not desensitized to it, she knows how to not let it inhibit her or interfere with her work.
none of that even remotely holds a candle to the events at the spencer mansion in july 1998.
note: do not read further if mentions of cannibalism, dismemberment, animal death, murder, child death, etc. trigger you in any way.
shortly after S.T.A.R.S. alpha team sets foot into the territory of the arklay mountains where the bravo team has disappeared, joseph frost is mauled by a cerberus pack — doberman pinschers specifically engineered with a beta strain of the t-virus, crafted by umbrella. the sight of this leaves jill shell-shocked, arguably because she is both a known dog-lover and because she has never seen anything specifically like that in her life.
keep in mind, she's taken the investigation into the murders in the arklay mountains seriously and personally, given that the first two victims were two little girls she knew, aged nine and seven. seeing one of her fellow teammates getting mauled and eaten is jarring because of how unexpected and new and disturbing it is, but also because in that moment, she’s thinking of becky and priscilla mcgee. she’s so shell-shocked that she can’t move, let alone fire her weapon — wesker shoots a dog before it can attack her and she, chris, barry and wesker high-tail it toward the mansion.
in the mansion, her first encounter with a zombie is when she comes across it clamoring toward her; she shoots it twice before barry steps in and shoots it once in the head. they discover that it’s bravo team member ken sullivan, and after grimly ransacking his hip pouches for ammo and returning to the main hall to meet up with wesker, who has since disappeared.
she and barry agree that splitting up is their best option to locate chris, potential surviving bravo team members, and wesker, as they’ll be able to cover more ground. while jill traverses the mansion she encounters more zombies, violent crows, and a trap room that almost crushes her to death. once out of the mansion and into the courtyard, she finds a secret underground passageway and follows it, to where she finds enrico marini, injured and warning herself and barry that the entire operation is a set-up and umbrella knew about this all along. wesker, hidden by shadows and quick to retreat, kills enrico before he can say any more. jill stays behind and holds enrico’s hand in his dying moments while barry attempts to locate wesker.
jill has no doubt, by that point, that umbrella has a member of S.T.A.R.S. in their pocket, and ventures into the tunnels to find more answers. she encounters a hunter alpha and is able to put it down with several shots from her baretta and shotgun. it’s her first proper encounter with a bioweapon and the first time it really hits her that umbrella is up to worse things than she originally thought.
this only pushes her further.
after almost being crushed to death raiders of the lost ark style by a giant boulder, she finds her way back to the courtyard and uncovers the entrance to the secret underground lab beneath the estate. she uncovers documentation regarding research and development of bioweapons and is ecstatic to bring the information back to the raccoon police department when barry leads her to wesker before being ordered to leave. wesker takes jill’s weapons and intends to throw her into a fight against a tyrant, which would ultimately lead to her death, but barry incapacitates him temporarily so he and jill can escape.
jill and barry reunite with chris and rebecca chambers on a helipad, with brad vickers circling above them in the alpha team’s chopper. before he can land, the tyrant that had escaped his stasis chamber emerges and engages the four in a fight. they keep him distracted by splitting rapid, aggressive gunfire, until brad tosses down a rocket launcher and chris kills the tyrant in one shot. they all escape, watching the spencer estate and all secrets and answers within it self-destruct as they fly back to the station.
jill’s encounters with zombies, the cerberus pack and various bioweapons in the mansion and secret lab shook her up considerably during the time. at points, she’s fully convinced she’s never going to get out of the mansion. she’s separated from most of the team early on and keeps mentally preparing herself to find chris dead, or worse. even when they escape, she doesn’t feel triumphant. the crash from the adrenaline high is hard as she stares out the hatch window, watching the spencer estate and every piece of evidence that could bury umbrella for causing countless deaths to innocent raccoon city citizens — to becky and priscilla — get destroyed.
following the mansion incident, the surviving S.T.A.R.S. team goes to chief irons, demanding a full investigation into umbrella regarding their involvement in the murders, as well as their illegal development of bioweaponry. irons shuts this down immediately, disbanding S.T.A.R.S. under the guise of them being too small to effectively carry out operations. jill is promptly suspended due to her insistence on an investigation into umbrella, and put under house arrest to hinder any attempts to investigate umbrella on her own.
this hardly stops her. despite all the medication she’s taking for her insomnia, she’s still barely sleeping and has a distinct loss of appetite — added on top of her lack of a job schedule, she has ample amounts of free time to dig into the investigation remotely. within a week, she has a board mounted on her wall, and with each passing day, more and more files are being added to it.
with help from a personal data assistant she was given by a mysterious stranger ahead of the mansion incident, she compiles a list of names affiliated with umbrella’s bioweapons research: the only one that gets her very far, given that he’s still alive at the time of her investigation, is william birkin. she accurately profiles the t-virus. she has suspicions about other bioweaponry in development, such as the g-virus, but is unable to pinpoint the exact name of the g-virus and what it’s designed to do.
[ it’s also worth noting that she has a photo of an ne-alpha parasite on her board, which is the parasite umbrella implanted into a tyrant to create nemesis. ]
in addition to having an investigation board set up, jill has written a letter to chris, detailing that she’s being watched 24/7 by umbrella and she suspects that they will move in to kill her at any point. with the letter, she plans to send all of her files so that they’ll both be in safe hands, and be with someone she knows will continue the investigation if and when she is killed.
on sept. 28, 1998 at 8 p.m., she receives a phone call from brad vickers. it’s a split-second warning before nemesis crashes into her apartment through the wall and attacks her. she reacts quickly and is able to shake off the creature, at least temporarily.
while attempting to flee a horde of zombies, brad is bitten and infected — a sacrifice he makes so that jill can escape to the roof of a parking garage and hitch a ride on a rescue helicopter. before she can reach the helicopter, nemesis blows it up. jill attempts to incapacitate the creature with a vehicle and is unsuccessful; she is rescued on the streets below by carlos oliveira and taken to a temporary shelter, where she agrees to help his squad restore power to the subway station to get survivors out of the city.
throughout her venture through downtown raccoon city, she encounters throngs of infected citizens and is more than prepared to deal with it. she aims to conserve ammo when she can, shoots only when necessary, and has taken a habit of taking any useful supplies off of those who are dead and unanimated. she’s even able to hold her own against new mutations she encounters both in the city and the sewers.
in the hospital, she encounters hunter betas, which resemble the hunter alphas she encountered in the underground tunnels of spencer mansion. she has no issues dealing with them, as a result; even as she encounters more undead in NEST 2, including regenerative zombies known as pale heads, she’s able to keep a cool head and handle things on her own, following her method of shooting when necessary and thoroughly staying aware of her surroundings.
where nemesis is concerned, she learned it best in the mansion: don’t assume anything. she recognizes nemesis immediately as a bioweapon, though she can’t say what it is, exactly. she knows in her gut that the creature is a creation of umbrella and was without a doubt sent into the raccoon city incident to hunt her down and kill her; this is only confirmed when she finds nikolai’s activity log. after the second time she thinks she’s killed nemesis and is proven unsuccessful, he’s mutated into something three times his former size and exhibits distinctly more animalistic behaviors in movement and pathing. after this point, she stops assuming she’s killed the creature and sets her entire focus on both her and the city’s survival. whenever nemesis pops up, she relies on every aspect of her S.T.A.R.S. training, and falls back on basics: deal as much damage as possible when possible, but prioritize finding cover and regrouping.
while jill never expected a full-scale t-virus outbreak and couldn’t have predicted nemesis, her prior encounter with both zombies and aggressive bioweapons at the spencer mansion gave her the knowledge and preparation she needed to survive. she knows being bitten is a death sentence at best and she knows better than to assume the vulnerabilities of anything umbrella has created.
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CUTSCENE META SERIES: JILL’S NIGHTMARE
following the opening cinematic that introduces RE3R, jill valentine awakes in her downtown apartment to crashing thunder and steady rain pattering down outside. her apartment, though small, is tidy; some paper cups sit next to a small travel pot of coffee on her nightstand; along one of the walls is a board full of papers, photographs and notes she’s made over the duration of her investigation into umbrella. her modest kitchen is void of any clutter; the most she has out on the table is another travel pot of coffee, a mug and an untouched piece of toast, all settled next to that day’s paper. her sink is empty, all her dishes are cleaned and put away.
there’s a distinct lack of clutter as you roam around her apartment, contrasting tremendously with the mess you’re greeted with when you wake up from her nightmare — most notably, half-filled boxes piled on every available surface, a half-eaten pizza box sitting open on the table next to an untouched bowl of soup that’s been sitting out, and various empty beer bottles and half-drunk wine bottles strewn about. jill wakes up from her nightmare at her desk, pouring over paperwork; there’s a sizable stack of files next to her on the desk, and even more information pinned to her investigation board, with two readable files on the board profiling the T-VIRUS and accurately suspecting that umbrella controls the city through the mayor’s office as well as the police force.
it’s important to immediately keep in mind this contrast between neat vs. messy, clean vs. dirty; in jill’s reality, her apartment is a near-filth of a mess because of the fact that she’s been so focused on investigating umbrella that she’s let everything else fall off. there are various medications on her bedside table, along with a travel pot of coffee, which isn’t a good combination when half the pills she’s taking is for insomnia. regardless, jill has let care for her apartment and even care for herself be pushed to the side because she’s so hell bent on trying to crack into the secret on where umbrella’s secret base of operations within raccoon city is. she can’t afford to sacrifice the hour it would take to clean up around her, and all of her energy is being spent on the investigation. in her nightmare, everything is orderly and neat because she’s not putting enough time into the investigation, and every minute she’s not spending looking into umbrella is another minute they’re slipping through her fingers. decidedly, a clean home means that she’s not doing enough, and umbrella is going to get away with their crimes.
further into jill’s nightmare, she’s drawn into her bathroom by a running faucet, and turns it off, but not before blood starts to drip into the sink — harmless on its own, but paired with the sudden haze in her vision and shortness of breath, it’s a cause for panic.
what appears to be a nose bleed quickly escalates into deterioration of the flesh on the left side of her face; eye becomes sunken into socket, glazing over to a glassy milk-white. she collapses momentarily as the infection spreads at a rapid rate, flesh rotting around her hands, her chest, her shoulder — veins become much more pronounced as her skin rots and stretches thin over them; this is most pronounced in her arms and her face. this is the sight she’s greeted with in the mirror as she pulls herself back up to her feet; in less than a minute, the t-virus she encountered weeks prior in the arklay mountains has overtaken her body, ravaging her physicality into that of a walking corpse. with the little grip on her humanity that she still has, she looks down at the sink and sees it — the samurai edge, custom made with a smaller slide to reduce catching when drawing, courtesy of robert kendo.
it doesn’t matter much; there’s no hesitation as she grabs it, holds it tight in her grip, staring at herself in the mirror as she raises the barrel to press against her temple.
there’s nothing but darkness as one singular shot rings out.
what happened in the arklay mountains in july of 1998 is something that jill is never going to forget. she remembers every moment of the spencer mansion incident in vivid detail; the first person fully infected with the t-virus she encountered was S.T.A.R.S. bravo team member ken sullivan, and had it not been for barry being a quick shot, she very well might have met the same fate then. night after night, where she’s able to drift off to sleep, she sees ken’s decayed and sullen features, or enrico’s pained face as he desperately tries to warn her about a traitor in S.T.A.R.S. before being fatally wounded, or the horrific, towering tyrant with his lipless, sharp-toothed grin and massive clawed hand. over time, they develop past mere memories she has and into something worse. sometimes chris or barry or rebecca are infected; sometimes they don’t kill the tyrant in time on the helipad and are all blown to bits with the mansion and umbrella’s secret laboratory.
in the weeks leading up to september 28, there’s a shift away from the mansion and into jill’s apartment, but she’s taken the t-virus with her. after a long incubation from prolonged exposure, she’s succumbing to something hideous, messy, and deadly in her neat and tidy apartment, a place that hasn’t felt safe to her since the mansion and certainly doesn’t now. it’s all because of umbrella, but it’s also all because she’s been too slow to crack the case, too slow to find the location of the NEST, and it doesn’t help that she’s been stalled thanks to house arrest and irons being in umbrella’s pocket.
this nightmare, in all accounts, is a representation of failure. while jill knows the events of the mansion are not her fault, survivor’s guilt still weighs heavily on her shoulders. the reality of the situation is that she, somehow, against all odds, survived a situation that was meant to kill her and the rest of the alpha team. while she’s thankful that chris, barry and rebecca survived it alongside her, it pains her knowing that ken, forrest and kevin’s last moments were spent succumbing to the infection or being ravaged by a cerberus pack, and that enrico could have potentially survived had wesker not pulled the trigger on him.
because she survived, she takes it as her personal responsibility to do something with it. after losing so many people because of umbrella’s oversight and hubris, it’s clear to her that she has to do everything she can to bring umbrella down, but in every nightmare, she succumbs to the t-virus, and the only thing she can do at that point is eliminate herself before she becomes a puppet for umbrella.
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𝐉𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐍 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘: 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘
tw: jordan’s assault is very briefly mentioned as part of her platform
entering pageants was never something jordan thought she would do, until it became apparent that saving every cent she could to put toward drama school wouldn’t be enough to afford drama school, and she still wanted to avoid going into as much debt as possible. her older sister, sarah riley, had done hair and makeup for a number of pageant queens in the area over the years and joked that jordan should enter the circuit since she has enough resources at her disposal to do it without losing profit. after sleeping on it and talking it over with her abuela, she dove in.
in the two years jordan competed in pageants, she’s won the following titles and awards/prizes:
— franklin county fair queen ( franklin county fair ): $1,000 scholarship
— miss strawberry ( wilmington strawberry festival ): $1,000 scholarship
— miss teen columbus ( miss teen ohio pageant ): $10,000 scholarship, season passes to king’s island
— miss teen franklin county second runner-up ( miss teen ohio pageant ): $5,000 scholarship
SPONSORSHIPS
if you ask jordan about it, she’ll joke that her hand still hurts from all the letters she wrote asking community business owners and organizations to sponsor her for the miss teen ohio pageant so she could afford materials for a gown, as well as the steep application and pageant fees. she’ll throw in that she considered becoming ambidextrous so she could write out all the thank-you notes she needed to, as well. a huge thank-you goes out to george and martha’s, jim’s body shop, wilmington tire & lube, the community foundation of franklin county, and the historic columbus theatre for making it possible for jordan to compete.
PAGEANT PLATFORM
when jordan initially started prepping for the pageant circuit, her platform was advocating for affordable and accessible food banks to under-funded communities in order to battle hunger and food deserts in the state of ohio. while it’s a good platform to have, it became apparent early on that it was something of a standard among pageant contestants; if it’s not food shortage and malnutrition, it’s clean energy, reducing your carbon footprint, saving trees, adopt don’t shop — a lot of things that blend together in the same avenue of nice, but forgettable.
six months into competing, jordan changes her platform to advocating for victims of sexual violence. she partners with a local organization to raise awareness to the growing problem with sexual violence in the state and the nation, how victims are affected short and long-term, and what resources are needed to help victims heal and move forward. her goal, with her platform, is to help victims get away from their abusers and find the strength to stand on their own through a program that helps set them up with housing and furniture. she does not speak on her own personal journey as a rape victim.
TALENT
while coming up with a platform and speaking on it was bumpy initially, prepping a talent was as easy and natural as breathing for jordan. she always sings; it’s the easiest talent for people to connect to, it’s something everyone understands, and her repertoire is long enough and diverse enough to carry her to top scores within the talent portion. selections she’s done range from celine dion, to adele, to alicia keys; while vocal performance is a key strength of hers, she doesn’t rest on that and still prepares, just as she would for any performance or audition.
QUESTION AND ANSWER
taken from the miss teen columbus pageant
Q:if you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be and why?
the one piece of advice I would give myself is, don’t worry about doing everything right. it’s easy to tell yourself that you always have to be the best at everything and you always need to strive for perfection, but it’s okay to slip up and make mistakes. it’s a huge part of growing up, and it’s the only way to learn and grow as a person. just because you’ve messed up doesn’t mean you’re a bad person — that’s what makes you human.
Q:who is your biggest inspiration, and why?
my biggest inspiration has and will always be my abuela, liliana martinez. she’s the strongest person I’ve ever met — she immigrated to the united states when she was only sixteen years old, hardly spoke a word of english, and managed to build a beautiful life for herself and her family. she firmly believes in the value of hard work, family, and always helping others in whatever way you can. my abuela has instilled all those values in me, has taught me to find the joy in everything, and to always follow your passion and put your all into everything that you do. I think everyone would benefit from having an abuela, and I count my lucky stars because I am lucky to have one, and if I end up being even half the woman she is, I’ll have done good.
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