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nvctmgone · 3 years
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𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐇  𝐎𝐅  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃  𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘  𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐂𝐑𝐄
no introductory paragraph and no thesis statement this time; under the cut you’re going to find the longest meta I’ve ever written in my life, chronicling the years following the rothfield university massacre and the extent of the affect that it has had on jordan as she perseveres through her final years of college and into her career as an actress.
trigger warnings for: mentions of panic attacks, ptsd, self-blame, self-shame. nothing explicit or graphic, and all of the above are mentioned early on.
additional: once again this is a long meta  (final word count clocked at 4,820 words)  and if you read through the whole thing, I worship the ground you walk on and will declare an international holiday in your name.
THE FIRST FIVE MONTHS.
immediately following the rothfield massacre, jordan goes radio silent on all her social media accounts. everything is privatized, accounts she doesn’t know are softblocked, and she logs out of everything and deletes the apps off of her phone.
she is still recovering from her injuries when the spring musical, ragtime, debuts; she does not perform during this time, nor does she attend performances. she holds no ill will to her understudy or the cast, and wishes everyone a good show. her castmates are understanding and assure her the show isn’t the same without her. they’re kind enough not to say anything else.
her professors are extremely understanding; she gets extensions on assignments through the end of the semester, with many of her professors requesting an essay going over the material that had been taught all semester showcasing what she’s learned in place of completing several projects and assignments ahead of the final. in some instances, the essay replaces the final. while jordan appreciates the accommodation, she hates feeling like this is all done out of pity.
socializing for jordan is almost non-existent. while the semester resumes, she doesn’t leave her dorm room much. her boss doesn’t put pressure on her to do much of her job duties and her fellow RAs help her out where she needs it, often covering duty nights and taking that pressure off her shoulders as she tries to get back to a semblance of ‘normal.’
additionally during this time, she is getting bombarded by media outlets with requests for an interview, comment, etc., both local, regional and national. this was the primary motivation for a social media cleanse, but some reporters hang around campus and jordan combats this by traveling in tight-knit groups or just full-stop out-running and evading reporters.
the semester ends, summer arrives, and jordan moves back in with abuela while her parents go to move out of her childhood home and relocate closer to columbus. brentwood has left a bad taste in the mouth of the riley family and columbus is close enough to where paul can still maintain his construction business; meanwhile, sofia is easily able to find a hospital in need of a trauma certified ER nurse to assist in their trauma center. when she’s able, she moves back home with her parents. 
many family members come to assist with taking jordan to her therapy appointments so she doesn’t have to drive by herself. sarah will often clear her whole day on days where it’s her turn in the rotation, leaving the option open for jordan if she wants to get out of the house and do something. more often than not, jordan wants to go back home. she gets the feeling, in public, that she’s being stared at, even when she’s not, even when it’s irrational, and she just wants to be in quiet spaces where she has control over the situation.
outside of family, the person she reaches out to most is nick, who is also coping with the trauma of what happened. they have daily contact with each other in some form or another, be it phone calls, text messages, face time, etc. throughout the summer, nick comes to visit jordan. this is the only time she ventures out of the house for longer periods, though she and nick stick to quieter places, such as parks after dark, hiking trails at non-peak hours, and walking around the neighborhood or even just sitting on her porch.
FIRST SEMESTER, JUNIOR YEAR.
after five months of avoiding the internet, social media, surrounding herself with loved ones and diligently attending therapy, jordan returns to rothfield university for her junior year. people still stare at her but it wears off after the first week and she blocks it out of her mind; even with the blinders, the stress bubbles under the surface and causes her to have mild anxiety attacks, most often in the privacy of her dorm room, where she’ll lock herself up in and cry or scream into pillows to get it out of her system. 
on the outside, she is extremely composed. being involved in theatre since she was five has primed her for what is possibly her greatest performance yet: a perfectly fine, not-traumatized person. she’s still seeing a therapist weekly, but the façade is something she needs in all non-private spaces in order to get through even the simplest moments of the day. she doesn’t like attention being on her if she isn’t in control of that attention.
the façade first shatters in public when she has her audition for the fall musical, mamma mia. the auditions are held in the oliver rhodes auditorium, on the same stage where her final confrontation with elliot took place months before. jordan mentally prepared herself ahead of time but this wasn’t enough; halfway through her audition song, she blanks completely on the lyrics and doesn’t recover. she gives a quick apology, rushes off stage and takes shelter in the nearest bathroom, where she locks herself in a stall and devolves into a full-blown panic attack.
it lasts five minutes; she goes from hysterically crying to feeling completely numb, splashes cold water on her face and spends a few minutes cleaning herself up before she leaves. nick has her things gathered and he helps her back to her dorm room, where she crashes for the rest of the day.
the director of the show is empathetic to jordan’s situation and admits that it was short-sighted to use that specific auditorium for auditions. auditions have been moved to a different auditorium with the understanding that the show and rehearsals will still be held in the oliver rhodes auditorium. he invites jordan to do her audition over. after sleeping on it, jordan accepts the offer. she gets a callback following her more successful audition, and is eventually cast as sophie.
her fellow thespians have a mixed reaction to her being cast in the lead. while overall many are sympathetic toward her trauma, they see it as unfair that she got a second chance to audition and feel that the same opportunity wouldn’t have been given to anyone else, regardless of the circumstances. others think it’s favoritism at work, and that she was cast out of pity. this wears jordan down and she considers pulling out of the show very early on into rehearsals because she starts to believe that she was cast out of pity and not because she earned the part.
after expressing these concerns privately with the director, he informs her the reason she got a second chance at her audition was because of her reputation within the theatre department and her talent she’s been displaying since her freshman year. he knows her work ethic and he knows her skills, and felt that she earned a second chance, given the circumstance. she was cast because she was right for the role, not because he pitied her and wanted to be nice.
it’s a push she needs; someone sees her as more than the horrific things she’s experienced in only 21 years of life and it’s enough for her to start accepting for herself that she is more than some senseless tragedy. everything isn’t magically better, but she allows herself to start being more vulnerable in therapy and more vulnerable around her close friends. it’s exactly what she needs, and having a show to focus on helps keep her mind from wandering into dark places.
during this time, media requests for interviews have died down significantly. jordan is back on her socials with her accounts still locked; she doesn’t post much, and mostly only uses it as a means to reach out to friends privately. some nights she’ll look up coverage of the rothfield massacre, immediately regret it and turn off her phone.
rehearsals for mamma mia continue and while it’s tough at first, performing on the same stage she was almost killed on, jordan pushes through. she sees it as her moment to take back her power; tensions among the cast over her casting in the show becomes diluted once rehearsals kick into high gear and it’s clear that, like them, jordan wants to put on a good show and is giving her all to do it. not everyone is fully convinced but it doesn’t overpower the professionalism they work to maintain. even if they did, jordan’s over it to the point that she’s determined to rise above whatever’s thrown at her.
performances are a hit and it’s enough to bolster jordan’s confidence in a more honest and true-to-form sense. she goes home for thanksgiving break and when she returns to rothfield to prep for finals, she feels more like her old self than she has in a long time.
JUNIOR YEAR, SECOND SEMESTER, PART ONE.
heading back into her second semester, jordan is focused on getting back into her full rhythm, performing in the spring play, the spring musical and the dance showcase as she had in previous semesters  (the most recent one being the exception).
things are quiet. she still doesn’t go out much, but it’s less because she wants to hide herself away and more because she wants to focus on herself and her healing. she now attends therapy twice a month on a trial basis, to see how she likes the adjustment and how it fares with her progress.
during this time, she reconnects with her love of painting, sketching, and guitar. she works mostly with acrylics and watercolors, and despite how messy it is, charcoal. with guitar, she’ll mostly practice songs she already knows or strum a nonsensical melody as a means of getting back into the art. she composes a couple of songs during this time, but doesn’t think they’re anything spectacular   —   just what she needs to create in that moment.
JUNIOR YEAR, SECOND SEMESTER, PART TWO: THE ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE ROTHFIELD MASSACRE.
the media comes out of the woodwork in march to cover the one-year anniversary of the rothfield massacre. even with jordan’s social media locked down to friends only, this doesn’t stop journalists and podcasters from reaching out for comments. it gets so bad to the point that they show up on campus and will wait outside academic buildings for jordan to leave and try to get a comment from her, or convince her to do an interview. the first time she’s ambushed, she musters out an excuse that she has class and retreats to her dorm room, where she skips her classes for the rest of the day.
the ambush triggers a mild panic attack that she’s able to navigate through and when she comes down from it, she calls nick and asks him if he’ll stay with her, which he agrees. she paints, he works on homework, they both order pizza in and her floor partner is kind enough to collect it so she doesn’t have to go to the door and risk being bombarded by more reporters wanting a quote.
the following weeks consist of jordan’s friends escorting her to her classes and around campus as needed and creating a barrier between her and the media until campus police step in because the situation has progressed past journalists doing their jobs and to a disruption of a student’s education. the ambushing stops, but jordan is still consistently getting pinged on social media and even through her school email from reporters wanting “just five minutes” to talk.
by april, things calm down and she’s able to resume life as a college student normally. she still doesn’t leave buildings by herself and is constantly looking around out of fear of being ambushed again. it takes a while to wear off.
SENIOR YEAR AT ROTHFIELD UNIVERSTY.
jordan is still progressing in her journey to heal from the trauma of the rothfield massacre, but she’s in a good place mentally. she still attends therapy twice a month, and the sessions along with maintaining her normal activities and passions have helped her return to a sense of normalcy and stability. while effects of her trauma still remain and she still struggles from time to time with her anxiety and PTSD, she is making good progress. 
her focus in her senior year is on doing as many shows as she can to add to her acting resume. this is all in an effort to get her foot in the door with as many area theatre companies as possible, and figuring out her path post-graduation.
area theatre companies are hesitant to take jordan on post-graduation, due to the notoriety of the rothfield massacre. jordan starts to see the long-term negative impact that the massacre is going to have on her, and how it might hinder her career and that she’ll have to cast her net wider.
in the spring, jordan graduates with a bachelor of fine arts in theatre performance. she and nick get arrangements together for a move to new york city in early summer.
RELOCATION TO NEW YORK CITY.
new york city is a breath of fresh air for jordan. no one knows who she is, and if the do, they don’t care. everything is fast-paced and unpredictable, and she thrives on an opportunity to start anew.
she and nick share an apartment; nick works as a physical therapist with a local medical center, whereas jordan pulls long shifts as a bartender at a night club. the tips help tremendously with keeping her afloat and by daylight, she’s walking into every open casting call and audition the city has to offer.
the first several months are difficult for jordan. while she’s not afraid of rejection, going weeks and weeks without so much as a callback or only getting limited gigs that pay little to nothing with no promise of longevity starts to wear on her confidence. she knew it was going to be hard, but she considers she might be in over her head. part of her wonders if casting is focusing more on her infamy of surviving the rothfield massacre than the fact that she can be fully off book for sides in ten minutes.
she doesn’t give up, but there are days she comes home from auditions in tears out of complete and total frustration. sometimes she takes rejections very hard, especially when she gets so far along in the audition process, only for the director to decide to go “in another direction”.
HER FIRST BIG BREAK.
an off-broadway production of little shop of horrors is announced and the theatre circuit goes wild. jordan gets her name on the audition list and it’s the first ray of hope she’s had in a while, but she doesn’t allow it to cloud her senses or get blindsided by it. her focus is on getting her audition song and sides down, but makes a promise to herself that she’s going to have fun with the audition process as much as she’s going to take it seriously. she prepares herself for rejection, but frames this as a perfect opportunity to get her name out into the world and to network.
she continues to keep that mindset as she’s given callback after callback, and is in tears when she gets off the phone with the director after she’s offered the part of audrey. the show doesn’t pay an astronomical mount and she still has to pull shifts at the club, but she can take it a little easier and still be able to breathe.
rehearsals go off without a hitch and the excitement of working her first professional acting job is more powerful than any nerves or doubt she could ever have. her focus is on doing her level best, which she achieves; opening week is packed house after packed house and jordan feels as though she’s floating on air.
the show runs for twelve weeks before closing, and during those twelve weeks jordan makes connections with various actors, writers, producers and directors within the theatre circuit in new york city. her name is becoming less and less synonymous with the rothfield massacre and more with a strong, hardworking young woman with an impressive work ethic and an immeasurable talent for the arts.
ESTABLISHING A CAREER.
the wrapping of little shop of horrors is not the end of jordan’s stint as a stage actress in new york city. shortly after the show wraps, jordan is contacted by a producer who wants her to read for an up-and-coming musical based off of the 1987 classic  (and her favorite movie), dirty dancing.
jordan is cast as frances “baby” houseman, opposite of tony award-winning actor daniel cruz’s johnny castle.
workshops begin for dirty dancing: the musical and last ten weeks; during this time, jordan begins to really hone her craft as an actress, becoming a sponge and absorbing knowledge and methods from the talent around her. she forms a close bond with daniel, who gives her helpful critique when needed as well as advice as she stands on the precipice of the next stage of her life and her career.
following the workshop, the show debuts off-broadway to test audience reception as changes are made, songs are re-written, scrapped or replaced, choreography is changed, etc. jordan learns to be even more adaptable than she thought she was, and audiences overall love the show, with many attendees coming back multiple times to see the show evolve and take shape.
as the show is polished and primed to transition to broadway, investors are hesitant to keep jordan, an unknown, on as baby. many want to see a more well-known name in the role to boost ticket sales, and this isn’t much of a secret. the white elephant in the room is, undoubtedly, the fear that jordan’s connection to rothfield will overshadow the buzz and press for the musical and draw attention in a negative way.
the producers and director invite investors to a special performance of the show and jordan pushes herself harder than she ever has. it pays off   —   investors see that so much of the character of baby in this show is brought to life because of the nuances and charm jordan brings to the role, directly from her own influence. all doubts about casting an unknown in the lead are washed away.
BECOMING A BROADWAY ACTRESS.
the move of the show from off-broadway to broadway is a year-long endeavor; the director and producers had the option to expedite it in mere months but decided that a longer process to iron out details and make it polished would benefit the production better.
during this time, press starts to buzz about the upcoming show. jordan makes a point to focus any and all social media postings in specific reference to the show, stating in one instagram post that “this is something I have been working toward since I was five years old and some days I can’t believe it’s actually happening, and every day I’m grateful and humbled that it is.”
as the premier date draws closer, press kicks up for the show. jordan’s agent tells all press that questions about the rothfield massacre will not be permitted. everyone is compliant, focusing on the show and on jordan’s background in the arts and love for performing.
the show premiers to a sold-out theatre for the first month and continues gaining momentum as reviews continue to be glowing. jordan is regarded as a “true triple-threat” with powerhouse vocals and a stage presence that comes effortlessly. she is quickly regarded as one to watch and a potential frontrunner for best lead actress in a musical at the tony awards. 
while jordan doesn’t win the tony for best actress, the show takes home several awards, including best choreography, best direction, best costume design, and best screenplay. ticket sales continue to thrive and dirty dancing: the musical continues to gain popularity with audiences.
jordan stays with the show for a year and a half before tossing her hat in the ring and auditioning for the broadway revival of west side story. after rounds and rounds of callbacks, she lands the role of maria.
jordan is with west side story for nine months when her agent sends her sides for an audition for an untitled netflix series. after reading through the sides and reading about the show, jordan decides to audition for the experience, and to cast her net a little wider.
TRANSITIONING TO FILM AND TELEVISION.
the untitled netflix project gets is title around the time jordan is doing screen tests for the main character. behind the curtain follows julie chambers, a young photojournalist who returns to her hometown after the sudden death of her childhood best friend, melissa. the circumstances around melissa’s death are suspicious to julie and seem anything but accidental; eager to find answers, julie begins investigating melissa’s death   —   not realizing how in over her head she’s about to become.
jordan is the first person cast in the project; the internet is mixed on the response, with broadway fiends ecstatic to see her getting more visibility and those outside the circuit unsure of netflix casting an “unknown” in a major role, but cautiously optimistic.
filming takes place in boston over the course of six months, and jordan stays in the hotel the studio puts the cast up in. her focus is on learning the culture around sets and making sure she doesn’t screw up.
media attention while filming is moderate; paparazzi are around mainly to get photos of the bigger named actors working on the project, but a number of photos of jordan circulate online both during filming and in off-hours when she and some of the cast and crew explore the city, visit museums and restaurants, and occasionally check out the bar and club scene.
for the most part, publications and social media accounts circulating the photos refer to jordan as an actress cast as the lead in behind the curtain; the only publications bringing up the rothfield massacre are tabloid rags.
jordan meets with her publicist and agent to structure a plan to address jordan’s past and her connection with the rothfield massacre.
an exclusive interview is arranged with rolling stone for after behind the curtain wraps and is finalized and press to promote the show begins. the article primarily focuses on jordan’s journey to move past the rothfield massacre and turn over a new leaf and finding the process of filming behind the curtain and exploring that story to be extremely cathartic and healing.
response to the article is mostly positive; there is a small corner of the internet that sees her as leeching money and notoriety off of a horrific event, but it’s a pretty silent minority that’s squashed quickly.
behind the curtain premiers over fourth of july weekend and rapidly skyrockets to the no. 1 slot on top streamed shows and stays there for a consistent three weeks.
social media response is massive; behind the curtain trends worldwide on twitter all of fourth of july weekend, with everyone revering newcomer jordan riley for a memorable breakout performance as julie chambers 
critical reception is high; a few critics call the plot derivative but still praise the talent of the actors bringing the story to life, but overall the consensus is that behind the curtain is the stand-out series of not only the summer, but the year. many predict emmy and golden globe nominations for the cast and crew, jordan included.
following the success of behind the curtain, jordan gets in more audition rooms for small one to three-episode guest spot arcs on sitcoms and drama series. 
one such series is huntington general, a well-known medical drama that is entering its fifth season when jordan auditions for a guest arc that spans the first two episodes of the season   —   something that propels her even further into the spotlight, with ratings across the country hitting 20 million viewers.
jordan is cast as danielle burke, a bubbly patient staying at huntington general hospital long-term while she waits for a donor heart to become available for a transplant. a heart becomes available due to a crash near the hospital, but when doctors go to recover the transplant heart, it’s discovered another patient at a rival hospital is higher on the transplant list, despite danielle’s condition worsening by the hour. danielle ends up moving up on the transplant list because the other patient dies while the organ is in route to be delivered; it becomes a race against the clock to get danielle prepped for surgery and in the operating room, and she’s knocking on death’s door. the surgery lasts six hours and the transplant takes   —   until it doesn’t. the doctors want to hook danielle up to an LVAD   —   which she denies. when she’s told she’ll die without it, she tearfully responds that she knows, she’s tired of fighting, and she just wants to have a peaceful final few hours of her life.
jordan’s film debut is in the widely anticipated chokehold from horror mastermind quincy larson, which angles a critical lens on the tropes popularized in horror movies and especially the slasher sub-genre, and turns many of them on their head. 
jordan is cast as tessa monroe, a college dropout moving back in with her mom as she tries to figure out the next steps in her life. when one of her coworkers at the local stop-n-shop is brutally murdered while closing the store, the town is thrown into a frenzy. more murders and attacks happen around tessa in a short span of time, and fingers start to point at her as the prime suspect. she has to work to prove her innocence, while evading the killer and staying alive.
audience reception to the film is strong, and viewers are overall impressed with the quality of the project and the clear talent jordan exhibits as she embodies a character that many would think would be so similar to her role in behind the curtain, but is distinctly different   —   which subverts the expectation that she’s in danger of being typecast.
critics have nothing but praise for jordan, citing her performance as “raw, emotional and powerful   —   a masterclass performance in bringing a truthfulness to the horrors that man can do against man.”
many people draw conclusions that she delved into her own trauma from surviving a real-life murder spree for the performance; years down the road, when she is more comfortable speaking freely about the experience, she confirms this.
BECOMING A HOUSEHOLD NAME.
following the success of behind the curtain’s first and second seasons and chokehold, which is immediately greenlit for a sequel, jordan takes a short break to go back home and visit with family. 
she also takes the time to privately reach out to the families of the victims in the rothfield massacre, checking in with them and presenting the idea she had for starting six $5,000 scholarships in the name of each victim in the massacre. all of the money would be provided by jordan and donors and would renew all four years of a recipient’s educational career. 
the response is overwhelmingly positive; she gives each family time to think about it and expresses that she will not be publicizing this until all details are sorted out and she has expressed permission to go through with each scholarship. all six scholarships are signed off on by family
in addition to the scholarships, jordan starts a fundraiser to raise money to build a memorial honoring the memory of the victims lost in the rothfield massacre. many alumni of rothfield donate to the cause, with jordan donating $100,000 out of her own pocket to fund the project. the university accepts the money, with the memorial being a three-year construction project, completed right on schedule.
philanthropy becomes an important thing for jordan; following the scholarship fund supported by both her and multiple donors and the memorial construction, she makes it a routine habit to donate 20% of her cheque to a cause she wants to support   —   more often than not, RAINN  (rape, abuse & incest national network). additionally, jordan organizes community events raising support and awareness for RAINN, which in turn has brought benefit to the organization in their outreach to victims.
there is no longer a gag order placed on press regarding rothfield; any time a reporter or talk show host asks jordan about it, she will specifically focus on the scholarship funds and the memorial, as well as her work with RAINN, citing that keeping the memory of those who lost their lives alive and helping victims of abuse get out of those situations and back on their feet is more important.
“I’ve made my peace long ago with what happened in rothfield. now, I want to do what I can with my voice to make things easier for victims and to help them in whatever way I can.”
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lastarchived · 3 years
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raccoon  city  was  the  first  proper  ‘home’  jill  ever  had.
her  mother  died  when  she  was  young  and  dick  valentine  took  good  care  of  her  and  legitimately  loves  his  daughter,  but  his  career  as  a  thief  doesn’t  offer  much  stability  for  the  long-term.  a  good  score  could  keep  them  sustained  for  months,  and  the  longest  they  ever  stayed  in  one  spot  was  a  year  and  a  half  at  most;  more  commonly,  they’d  move  around  every  six  to  nine  months,  sticking  to  larger  cities  over  smaller  communities.  it’s  easier  to  blend  in  with  the  crowd  if  there  is  a  crowd  to  begin  with,  and  depending  on  the  area,  police  are  more  concerned  with  solving  violent  crimes  and  getting  those  perpetrators  off  the  streets  than  figuring  out  where  thousands  of  dollars  worth  of  insured  art  or  jewelry  disappeared  to.
dick  had  gifted  jill  her  first  lock  pick  when  she  was  eight  years  old,  starting  her  on  simple  locks  and  teaching  her  the  basics  of  breaking  and  entering;  by  nine,  she  had  honed  her  skills  on  more  complicated  locks  and  by  ten,  she  was  accompanying  her  father  on  smaller  jobs,  learning  applicable  skills  in  the  field,  most  notably:      casing  a  target,  all  while  drawing  as  little  attention  as  possible.
by  the  time  she  reached  her  teenage  years,  jill  was  regularly  going  on  jobs  with  her  father,  having  a  perfectly  delicate  touch  when  it  came  to  picking  the  most  complex  of  locks  and  the  ability  to  squeeze  into  small  spaces  and  navigate  them  with  ease.  throw  in  being  light  on  her  feet  and  agile  as  well  as  keenly  observant,  perceptive  and  having  a  sharp  eye  for  detail,  and  she  was  a  natural  apprentice  to  her  father’s  legacy.  while  other  kids  were  going  to  soccer  practice  and  being  tutored  for  the  S.A.T.S.,  jill  was  spending  her  afternoons  taking  note  of  optimal  entries  and  exits  into  a  building,  what  security  protocols  were  in  place,  and  when  there  was  an  adequate  window  of  time  to  slip  in  and  back  out,  undetected.
she  was  seventeen  years  old  when  dick  had  finally  gotten  caught.  they  had  gotten  too  comfortable  in  sticking  around  the  same  metropolitan  area  for  one  last,  good  score,  and  detectives  came  knocking  with  a  pile  of  incriminating  evidence  and  a  warrant.  taking  full  responsibility,  his  last  conversations  with  jill  before  the  indictment  consisted  of  him  apologizing  for  the  way  he  raised  her,  and  urging  her  to  do  something  good  with  her  life.  resistant  at  first,  she  eventually  made  a  promise  that  she’d  live  a  normal  life.
six  months  later,  she  enlisted  in  the  united  states  army  and  after  passing  basic  training  with  flying  colors,  was  recruited  to  serve  active  duty  in  the  field.  despite  her  background  in  crime,  she  showed  great  discipline  and  grace  under  pressure  when  put  in  tense  situations  and  was  recommended  for  delta  force  training,  pending  passing  the  selection  process  and  training.  she  excelled,  naturally,  at  lock  picking,  and  surprised  recruits  with  the  ease  with  which  she  could  assemble  and  disassemble  explosives.
after  three  years  of  serving  in  the  delta  forces,  jill  was  honorably  discharged.  after  twenty-two  years  of  moving  from  place  to  place  with  no  promise  of  where  she’d  be  in  six  months  and  the  entire  world  at  her  disposal,  jill  found  herself  at  a  loss  of  where  to  go  next.
enter,  albert  wesker  and  the  special  tactics  and  rescue  service  (S.T.A.R.S.)  within  the  raccoon  police  department,  raccoon  city,  pennsylvania.
while  jill  had  never  had  a  great  desire  to  follow  a  career  in  law  enforcement,  the  fact  that  S.T.A.R.S.  didn’t  have  to  deal  with  nearly  as  much  red  tape  as  uniformed  officers  on  the  force  did  held  great  appeal  to  her.  her  talents  in  lock  picking  and  bomb  disposal  would  have  applicable  use  for  something  good;  something  helpful  to  a  greater  cause.  with  no  other  options  lined  up  and  the  promise  of  good  benefits,  a  steady  paycheck,  and  a  chance  to  really  experience  life,  jill  took  the  offer  and  found  herself  a  spot  in  rear  security  on  the  alpha  team.
the  apartment  she  settled  down  in  on  the  corner  of  crescent  and  central  street  was  small,  quaint,  and  the  first  place  she  was  really  able  to  call  her  own.  she  had  never  been  a  sentimental  person,  but  the  prospect  of  something  as  normal  as  setting  down  roots  in  a  place  that  she  could  call  and  make  her  own  was  truly  exhilarating.  this  was  her  home,  her  city,  her  life  to  make  what  she  wanted  it  to  be.  that  excitement  carried  her  through  her  first  year  on  the  team,  where  she  connected  and  made  friends  with  many  of  her  fellow  operatives,  and  found  the  rush  of  each  case  more  potent  than  the  previous.
people  around  the  city  were  recognizing  her  more  and  more,  as  well.  she  tried  to  brew  her  own  coffee  at  home  whenever  she  could  but  more  often  than  not,  the  convenience  of  sigourney’s  would  win  out  and  it  wasn’t  long  before  the  morning  barista  had  her  order  memorized  and  started  by  the  time  she  walked  through  the  door.  librarians  were  always  helpful  when  she  needed  to  pull  newspaper  articles  to  cross-reference  with  case  files,  and  her  favorite  place  to  spend  warm,  sunny  afternoons  was  under  the  oak  trees  at  raccoon  park  with  a  novel  of  her  choosing.
in  her  building,  she  was  friendly  with  her  neighbors,  and  connected  most  with  becky  and  priscilla  mcgee  from  down  the  hall  after  helping  them  find  their  lost  dog  one  afternoon.  she  became  a  regular  babysitter  for  the  girls  whenever  their  parents  needed  a  night  out  and  would  graciously  put  the  scraggly  bouquets  of  flowers  they  would  bring  her  after  school  on  display  in  her  apartment.  the  mundanities  most  people  took  for  granted  were  jill’s  favorite  things  about  living  in  raccoon  city.
seeing  it  all  come  crashing  down  around  her  in  a  full-scale  biological  disaster  is  a  special  kind  of  devastation  she  can’t  process  at  the  time.  even  after  the  city  is  wiped  out  by  the  missile  strike,  it  takes  a  solid  week  to  solidify  that  raccoon  city  is  gone:  an  entire  city  with  a  rich  history  and  tens  of  thousands  of  people,  obliterated  in  seconds,  all  because  of  the  hubris  and  negligence  of  umbrella.  it’s  why  jill  feels  such  a  strong  sense  of  obligation  to  hold  them  accountable  for  their  greed:  the  cost  of  it  wasn’t  just  her  first  home,  but  also  countless  innocent  lives  that  deserve  justice.
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DEEP    DIVE:    THE    SPENCER    MANSION    INCIDENT    &    HOW    IT    IS    DIRECTLY    LINKED    TO    JILL’S    SURVIVAL    OF    NEMESIS  /  THE    RACCOON    CITY    INCIDENT.
buckle  up,  rookies,  this  is  gonna  be  a  long  one.
jill  has  seen  a  lot  in  her  24  years  of  life  leading  up  to  the  mansion  incident;  she  absolutely  saw  death  in  combat  firsthand  while  in  the  army,  and  with  her  employment  in  the  raccoon  police  department,  has  been  part  of  countless  dangerous  operations,  from  drug  raids  to  murder  investigations  and  everything  in-between.  she’s  seen  so  much  violence  and  while  she’s  not  desensitized  to  it,  she  knows  how  to  not  let  it  inhibit  her  or  interfere  with  her  work.
none  of  that  even  remotely  holds  a  candle  to  the  events  at  the  spencer  mansion  in  july  1998.
note:  do  not  read  further  if  mentions  of  cannibalism,  dismemberment,  animal  death,  murder,  child  death,  etc.  trigger  you  in  any  way.
shortly  after  S.T.A.R.S.  alpha  team  sets  foot  into  the  territory  of  the  arklay  mountains  where  the  bravo  team  has  disappeared,  joseph  frost  is  mauled  by  a  cerberus  pack      —    doberman  pinschers  specifically  engineered  with  a  beta  strain  of  the  t-virus,  crafted  by  umbrella.  the  sight  of  this  leaves  jill  shell-shocked,  arguably  because  she  is  both  a  known  dog-lover  and  because  she  has  never  seen  anything  specifically  like  that  in  her  life.  
keep  in  mind,  she's  taken  the  investigation  into  the  murders  in  the  arklay  mountains  seriously  and  personally,  given  that  the  first  two  victims  were  two  little  girls  she  knew,  aged  nine  and  seven.  seeing  one  of  her  fellow  teammates  getting  mauled  and  eaten  is  jarring  because  of  how  unexpected  and  new  and  disturbing  it  is,  but  also  because  in  that  moment,  she’s  thinking  of  becky  and  priscilla  mcgee.  she’s  so  shell-shocked  that  she  can’t  move,  let  alone  fire  her  weapon      —    wesker  shoots  a  dog  before  it  can  attack  her  and  she,  chris,  barry  and  wesker  high-tail  it  toward  the  mansion.
in  the  mansion,  her  first  encounter  with  a  zombie  is  when  she  comes  across  it  clamoring  toward  her;  she  shoots  it  twice  before  barry  steps  in  and  shoots  it  once  in  the  head.  they  discover  that  it’s  bravo  team  member  ken  sullivan,  and  after  grimly  ransacking  his  hip  pouches  for  ammo  and  returning  to  the  main  hall  to  meet  up  with  wesker,  who  has  since  disappeared.
she  and  barry  agree  that  splitting  up  is  their  best  option  to  locate  chris,  potential  surviving  bravo  team  members,  and  wesker,  as  they’ll  be  able  to  cover  more  ground.  while  jill  traverses  the  mansion  she  encounters  more  zombies,  violent  crows,  and  a  trap  room  that  almost  crushes  her  to  death.  once  out  of  the  mansion  and  into  the  courtyard,  she  finds  a  secret  underground  passageway  and  follows  it,  to  where  she  finds  enrico  marini,  injured  and  warning  herself  and  barry  that  the  entire  operation  is  a  set-up  and  umbrella  knew  about  this  all  along.  wesker,  hidden  by  shadows  and  quick  to  retreat,  kills  enrico  before  he  can  say  any  more.  jill  stays  behind  and  holds  enrico’s  hand  in  his  dying  moments  while  barry  attempts  to  locate  wesker.
jill  has  no  doubt,  by  that  point,  that  umbrella  has  a  member  of  S.T.A.R.S.  in  their  pocket,  and  ventures  into  the  tunnels  to  find  more  answers.  she  encounters  a  hunter  alpha  and  is  able  to  put  it  down  with  several  shots  from  her  baretta  and  shotgun.  it’s  her  first  proper  encounter  with  a  bioweapon  and  the  first  time  it  really  hits  her  that  umbrella  is  up  to  worse  things  than  she  originally  thought.  
this  only  pushes  her  further.
after  almost  being  crushed  to  death  raiders  of  the  lost  ark  style  by  a  giant  boulder,  she  finds  her  way  back  to  the  courtyard  and  uncovers  the  entrance  to  the  secret  underground  lab  beneath  the  estate.  she  uncovers  documentation  regarding  research  and  development  of  bioweapons  and  is  ecstatic  to  bring  the  information  back  to  the  raccoon  police  department  when  barry  leads  her  to  wesker  before  being  ordered  to  leave.  wesker  takes  jill’s  weapons  and  intends  to  throw  her  into  a  fight  against  a  tyrant,  which  would  ultimately  lead  to  her  death,  but  barry  incapacitates  him  temporarily  so  he  and  jill  can  escape.
jill  and  barry  reunite  with  chris  and  rebecca  chambers  on  a  helipad,  with  brad  vickers  circling  above  them  in  the  alpha  team’s  chopper.  before  he  can  land,  the  tyrant  that  had  escaped  his  stasis  chamber  emerges  and  engages  the  four  in  a  fight.  they  keep  him  distracted  by  splitting  rapid,  aggressive  gunfire,  until  brad  tosses  down  a  rocket  launcher  and  chris  kills  the  tyrant  in  one  shot.  they  all  escape,  watching  the  spencer  estate  and  all  secrets  and  answers  within  it  self-destruct  as  they  fly  back  to  the  station.
jill’s  encounters  with  zombies,  the  cerberus  pack  and  various  bioweapons  in  the  mansion  and  secret  lab  shook  her  up  considerably  during  the  time.  at  points,  she’s  fully  convinced  she’s  never  going  to  get  out  of  the  mansion.  she’s  separated  from  most  of  the  team  early  on  and  keeps  mentally  preparing  herself  to  find  chris  dead,  or  worse.  even  when  they  escape,  she  doesn’t  feel  triumphant.  the  crash  from  the  adrenaline  high  is  hard  as  she  stares  out  the  hatch  window,  watching  the  spencer  estate  and  every  piece  of  evidence  that  could  bury  umbrella  for  causing  countless  deaths  to  innocent  raccoon  city  citizens      —      to  becky  and  priscilla      —      get  destroyed.
following  the  mansion  incident,  the  surviving  S.T.A.R.S.  team  goes  to  chief  irons,  demanding  a  full  investigation  into  umbrella  regarding  their  involvement  in  the  murders,  as  well  as  their  illegal  development  of  bioweaponry.  irons  shuts  this  down  immediately,  disbanding  S.T.A.R.S.  under  the  guise  of  them  being  too  small  to  effectively  carry  out  operations.  jill  is  promptly  suspended  due  to  her  insistence  on  an  investigation  into  umbrella,  and  put  under  house  arrest  to  hinder  any  attempts  to  investigate  umbrella  on  her  own.
this  hardly  stops  her.  despite  all  the  medication  she’s  taking  for  her  insomnia,  she’s  still  barely  sleeping  and  has  a  distinct  loss  of  appetite      —      added  on  top  of  her  lack  of  a  job  schedule,  she  has  ample  amounts  of  free  time  to  dig  into  the  investigation  remotely.  within  a  week,  she  has  a  board  mounted  on  her  wall,  and  with  each  passing  day,  more  and  more  files  are  being  added  to  it.  
with  help  from  a  personal  data  assistant  she  was  given  by  a  mysterious  stranger  ahead  of  the  mansion  incident,  she  compiles  a  list  of  names  affiliated  with  umbrella’s  bioweapons  research:  the  only  one  that  gets  her  very  far,  given  that  he’s  still  alive  at  the  time  of  her  investigation,  is  william  birkin.  she  accurately  profiles  the  t-virus.  she  has  suspicions  about  other  bioweaponry  in  development,  such  as  the  g-virus,  but  is  unable  to  pinpoint  the  exact  name  of  the  g-virus  and  what  it’s  designed  to  do. 
[  it’s  also  worth  noting  that  she  has  a  photo  of  an  ne-alpha  parasite  on  her  board,  which  is  the  parasite  umbrella  implanted  into  a  tyrant  to  create  nemesis.  ]
in  addition  to  having  an  investigation  board  set  up,  jill  has  written  a  letter  to  chris,  detailing  that  she’s  being  watched  24/7  by  umbrella  and  she  suspects  that  they  will  move  in  to  kill  her  at  any  point.  with  the  letter,  she  plans  to  send  all  of  her  files  so  that  they’ll  both  be  in  safe  hands,  and  be  with  someone  she  knows  will  continue  the  investigation  if  and  when  she  is  killed.
on  sept.  28,  1998  at  8  p.m.,  she  receives  a  phone  call  from  brad  vickers.  it’s  a  split-second  warning  before  nemesis  crashes  into  her  apartment  through  the  wall  and  attacks  her.  she  reacts  quickly  and  is  able  to  shake  off  the  creature,  at  least  temporarily.
while  attempting  to  flee  a  horde  of  zombies,  brad  is  bitten  and  infected      —      a  sacrifice  he  makes  so  that  jill  can  escape  to  the  roof  of  a  parking  garage  and  hitch  a  ride  on  a  rescue  helicopter.  before  she  can  reach  the  helicopter,  nemesis  blows  it  up.  jill  attempts  to  incapacitate  the  creature  with  a  vehicle  and  is  unsuccessful;  she  is  rescued  on  the  streets  below  by  carlos  oliveira  and  taken  to  a  temporary  shelter,  where  she  agrees  to  help  his  squad  restore  power  to  the  subway  station  to  get  survivors  out  of  the  city.
throughout  her  venture  through  downtown  raccoon  city,  she  encounters  throngs  of  infected  citizens  and  is  more  than  prepared  to  deal  with  it.  she  aims  to  conserve  ammo  when  she  can,  shoots  only  when  necessary,  and  has  taken  a  habit  of  taking  any  useful  supplies  off  of  those  who  are  dead  and  unanimated.  she’s  even  able  to  hold  her  own  against  new  mutations  she  encounters  both  in  the  city  and  the  sewers.
in  the  hospital,  she  encounters  hunter  betas,  which  resemble  the  hunter  alphas  she  encountered  in  the  underground  tunnels  of  spencer  mansion.  she  has  no  issues  dealing  with  them,  as  a  result;  even  as  she  encounters  more  undead  in  NEST  2,  including  regenerative  zombies  known  as  pale  heads,  she’s  able  to  keep  a  cool  head  and  handle  things  on  her  own,  following  her  method  of  shooting  when  necessary  and  thoroughly  staying  aware  of  her  surroundings.
where  nemesis  is  concerned,  she  learned  it  best  in  the  mansion:      don’t  assume  anything.  she  recognizes  nemesis  immediately  as  a  bioweapon,  though  she  can’t  say  what  it  is,  exactly.  she  knows  in  her  gut  that  the  creature  is  a  creation  of  umbrella  and  was  without  a  doubt  sent  into  the  raccoon  city  incident  to  hunt  her  down  and  kill  her;  this  is  only  confirmed  when  she  finds  nikolai’s  activity  log.  after  the  second  time  she  thinks  she’s  killed  nemesis  and  is  proven  unsuccessful,  he’s  mutated  into  something  three  times  his  former  size  and  exhibits  distinctly  more  animalistic  behaviors  in  movement  and  pathing.  after  this  point,  she  stops  assuming  she’s  killed  the  creature  and  sets  her  entire  focus  on  both  her  and  the  city’s  survival.  whenever  nemesis  pops  up,  she  relies  on  every  aspect  of  her  S.T.A.R.S.  training,  and  falls  back  on  basics:  deal  as  much  damage  as  possible  when  possible,  but  prioritize  finding  cover  and  regrouping.
while  jill  never  expected  a  full-scale  t-virus  outbreak  and  couldn’t  have  predicted  nemesis,  her  prior  encounter  with  both  zombies  and  aggressive  bioweapons  at  the  spencer  mansion  gave  her  the  knowledge  and  preparation  she  needed  to  survive.  she  knows  being  bitten  is  a  death  sentence  at  best  and  she  knows  better  than  to  assume  the  vulnerabilities  of  anything  umbrella  has  created.
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lastarchived · 3 years
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CUTSCENE  META  SERIES:    JILL’S  NIGHTMARE
following  the  opening  cinematic  that  introduces  RE3R,  jill  valentine  awakes  in  her  downtown  apartment  to  crashing  thunder  and  steady  rain  pattering  down  outside.  her  apartment,  though  small,  is  tidy;  some  paper  cups  sit  next  to  a  small  travel  pot  of  coffee  on  her  nightstand;  along  one  of  the  walls  is  a  board  full  of  papers,  photographs  and  notes  she’s  made  over  the  duration  of  her  investigation  into  umbrella.  her  modest  kitchen  is  void  of  any  clutter;  the  most  she  has  out  on  the  table  is  another  travel  pot  of  coffee,  a  mug  and  an  untouched  piece  of  toast,  all  settled  next  to  that  day’s  paper.  her  sink  is  empty,  all  her  dishes  are  cleaned  and  put  away.
there’s  a  distinct  lack  of  clutter  as  you  roam  around  her  apartment,  contrasting  tremendously  with  the  mess  you’re  greeted  with  when  you  wake  up  from  her  nightmare      —      most  notably,  half-filled  boxes  piled  on  every  available  surface,  a  half-eaten  pizza  box  sitting  open  on  the  table  next  to  an  untouched  bowl  of  soup  that’s  been  sitting  out,  and  various  empty  beer  bottles  and  half-drunk  wine  bottles  strewn  about.  jill  wakes  up  from  her  nightmare  at  her  desk,  pouring  over  paperwork;  there’s  a  sizable  stack  of  files  next  to  her  on  the  desk,  and  even  more  information  pinned  to  her  investigation  board,  with  two  readable  files  on  the  board  profiling  the  T-VIRUS  and  accurately  suspecting  that  umbrella  controls  the  city  through  the  mayor’s  office  as  well  as  the  police  force.
it’s  important  to  immediately  keep  in  mind  this  contrast  between  neat  vs.  messy,  clean  vs.  dirty;  in  jill’s  reality,  her  apartment  is  a  near-filth  of  a  mess  because  of  the  fact  that  she’s  been  so  focused  on  investigating  umbrella  that  she’s  let  everything  else  fall  off.  there  are  various  medications  on  her  bedside  table,  along  with  a  travel  pot  of  coffee,  which  isn’t  a  good  combination  when  half  the  pills  she’s  taking  is  for  insomnia.  regardless,  jill  has  let  care  for  her  apartment  and  even  care  for  herself  be  pushed  to  the  side  because  she’s  so  hell  bent  on  trying  to  crack  into  the  secret  on  where  umbrella’s  secret  base  of  operations  within  raccoon  city  is.  she  can’t  afford  to  sacrifice  the  hour  it  would  take  to  clean  up  around  her,  and  all  of  her  energy  is  being  spent  on  the  investigation.  in  her  nightmare,  everything  is  orderly  and  neat  because  she’s  not  putting  enough  time  into  the  investigation,  and  every  minute  she’s  not  spending  looking  into  umbrella  is  another  minute  they’re  slipping  through  her  fingers.  decidedly,  a  clean  home  means  that  she’s  not  doing  enough,  and  umbrella  is  going  to  get  away  with  their  crimes.
further  into  jill’s  nightmare,  she’s  drawn  into  her  bathroom  by  a  running  faucet,  and  turns  it  off,  but  not  before  blood  starts  to  drip  into  the  sink      —      harmless  on  its  own,  but  paired  with  the  sudden  haze  in  her  vision  and  shortness  of  breath,  it’s  a  cause  for  panic.  
what  appears  to  be  a  nose  bleed  quickly  escalates  into  deterioration  of  the  flesh  on  the  left  side  of  her  face;    eye  becomes  sunken  into  socket,  glazing  over  to  a  glassy  milk-white.  she  collapses  momentarily  as  the  infection  spreads  at  a  rapid  rate,  flesh  rotting  around  her  hands,  her  chest,  her  shoulder      —      veins  become  much  more  pronounced  as  her  skin  rots  and  stretches  thin  over  them;    this  is  most  pronounced  in  her  arms  and  her  face.  this  is  the  sight  she’s  greeted  with  in  the  mirror  as  she  pulls  herself  back  up  to  her  feet;  in  less  than  a  minute,  the  t-virus  she  encountered  weeks  prior  in  the  arklay  mountains  has  overtaken  her  body,  ravaging  her  physicality  into  that  of  a  walking  corpse.  with  the  little  grip  on  her  humanity  that  she  still  has,  she  looks  down  at  the  sink  and  sees  it      —      the  samurai  edge,  custom  made  with  a  smaller  slide  to  reduce  catching  when  drawing,  courtesy  of  robert  kendo.  
it  doesn’t  matter  much;    there’s  no  hesitation  as  she  grabs  it,  holds  it  tight  in  her  grip,  staring  at  herself  in  the  mirror  as  she  raises  the  barrel  to  press  against  her  temple.
there’s  nothing  but  darkness  as  one  singular  shot  rings  out.
what  happened  in  the  arklay  mountains  in  july  of  1998  is  something  that  jill  is  never  going  to  forget.  she  remembers  every  moment  of  the  spencer  mansion  incident  in  vivid  detail;    the  first  person  fully  infected  with  the  t-virus  she  encountered  was  S.T.A.R.S.  bravo  team  member  ken  sullivan,  and  had  it  not  been  for  barry  being  a  quick  shot,  she  very  well  might  have  met  the  same  fate  then.  night  after  night,  where  she’s  able  to  drift  off  to  sleep,  she  sees  ken’s  decayed  and  sullen  features,  or  enrico’s  pained  face  as  he  desperately  tries  to  warn  her  about  a  traitor  in  S.T.A.R.S.  before  being  fatally  wounded,  or  the  horrific,  towering  tyrant  with  his  lipless,  sharp-toothed  grin  and  massive  clawed  hand.  over  time,  they  develop  past  mere  memories  she  has  and  into  something  worse.  sometimes  chris  or  barry  or  rebecca  are  infected;    sometimes  they  don’t  kill  the  tyrant  in  time  on  the  helipad  and  are  all  blown  to  bits  with  the  mansion  and  umbrella’s  secret  laboratory.
in  the  weeks  leading  up  to  september  28,  there’s  a  shift  away  from  the  mansion  and  into  jill’s  apartment,  but  she’s  taken  the  t-virus  with  her.  after  a  long  incubation  from  prolonged  exposure,  she’s  succumbing  to  something  hideous,  messy,  and  deadly  in  her  neat  and  tidy  apartment,  a  place  that  hasn’t  felt  safe  to  her  since  the  mansion  and  certainly  doesn’t  now.  it’s  all  because  of  umbrella,  but  it’s  also  all  because  she’s  been  too  slow  to  crack  the  case,  too  slow  to  find  the  location  of  the  NEST,  and  it  doesn’t  help  that  she’s  been  stalled  thanks  to  house  arrest  and  irons  being  in  umbrella’s  pocket.
this  nightmare,  in  all  accounts,  is  a  representation  of  failure.  while  jill  knows  the  events  of  the  mansion  are  not  her  fault,  survivor’s  guilt  still  weighs  heavily  on  her  shoulders.  the  reality  of  the  situation  is  that  she,  somehow,  against  all  odds,  survived  a  situation  that  was  meant  to  kill  her  and  the  rest  of  the  alpha  team.  while  she’s  thankful  that  chris,  barry  and  rebecca  survived  it  alongside  her,  it  pains  her  knowing  that  ken,  forrest  and  kevin’s  last  moments  were  spent  succumbing  to  the  infection  or  being  ravaged  by  a  cerberus  pack,  and  that  enrico  could  have  potentially  survived  had  wesker  not  pulled  the  trigger  on  him.
because  she  survived,  she  takes  it  as  her  personal  responsibility  to  do  something  with  it.  after  losing  so  many  people  because  of  umbrella’s  oversight  and  hubris,  it’s  clear  to  her  that  she  has  to  do  everything  she  can  to  bring  umbrella  down,  but  in  every  nightmare,  she  succumbs  to  the  t-virus,  and  the  only  thing  she  can  do  at  that  point  is  eliminate  herself  before  she  becomes  a  puppet  for  umbrella.
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nvctmgone · 3 years
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𝐉𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐍  𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘:  𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐓  𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘  𝐀𝐍𝐃  𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘
tw:  jordan’s assault is very briefly mentioned as part of her platform
entering pageants was never something jordan thought she would do, until it became apparent that saving every cent she could to put toward drama school wouldn’t be enough to afford drama school, and she still wanted to avoid going into as much debt as possible. her older sister, sarah riley, had done hair and makeup for a number of pageant queens in the area over the years and joked that jordan should enter the circuit since she has enough resources at her disposal to do it without losing profit. after sleeping on it and talking it over with her abuela, she dove in.
in the two years jordan competed in pageants, she’s won the following titles and awards/prizes:
—  franklin county fair queen  ( franklin county fair ):  $1,000 scholarship —  miss strawberry  ( wilmington strawberry festival ):  $1,000 scholarship —  miss teen columbus  ( miss teen ohio pageant ):  $10,000 scholarship, season passes to king’s island —  miss teen franklin county second runner-up  ( miss teen ohio pageant ):  $5,000 scholarship
SPONSORSHIPS
if you ask jordan about it, she’ll joke that her hand still hurts from all the letters she wrote asking community business owners and organizations to sponsor her for the miss teen ohio pageant so she could afford materials for a gown, as well as the steep application and pageant fees. she’ll throw in that she considered becoming ambidextrous so she could write out all the thank-you notes she needed to, as well. a huge thank-you goes out to george and martha’s, jim’s body shop, wilmington tire & lube, the community foundation of franklin county, and the historic columbus theatre for making it possible for jordan to compete.
PAGEANT PLATFORM
when jordan initially started prepping for the pageant circuit, her platform was advocating for affordable and accessible food banks to under-funded communities in order to battle hunger and food deserts in the state of ohio. while it’s a good platform to have, it became apparent early on that it was something of a standard among pageant contestants; if it’s not food shortage and malnutrition, it’s clean energy, reducing your carbon footprint, saving trees, adopt don’t shop  —  a lot of things that blend together in the same avenue of nice, but forgettable.
six months into competing, jordan changes her platform to advocating for victims of sexual violence. she partners with a local organization to raise awareness to the growing problem with sexual violence in the state and the nation, how victims are affected short and long-term, and what resources are needed to help victims heal and move forward. her goal, with her platform, is to help victims get away from their abusers and find the strength to stand on their own through a program that helps set them up with housing and furniture. she does not speak on her own personal journey as a rape victim.
TALENT
while coming up with a platform and speaking on it was bumpy initially, prepping a talent was as easy and natural as breathing for jordan. she always sings; it’s the easiest talent for people to connect to, it’s something everyone understands, and her repertoire is long enough and diverse enough to carry her to top scores within the talent portion. selections she’s done range from celine dion, to adele, to alicia keys; while vocal performance is a key strength of hers, she doesn’t rest on that and still prepares, just as she would for any performance or audition.
QUESTION AND ANSWER
taken from the miss teen columbus pageant
Q:if you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be and why?
the one piece of advice I would give myself is, don’t worry about doing everything right. it’s easy to tell yourself that you always have to be the best at everything and you always need to strive for perfection, but it’s okay to slip up and make mistakes. it’s a huge part of growing up, and it’s the only way to learn and grow as a person. just because you’ve messed up doesn’t mean you’re a bad person  —  that’s what makes you human.
Q:who is your biggest inspiration, and why?
my biggest inspiration has and will always be my abuela, liliana martinez. she’s the strongest person I’ve ever met  —  she immigrated to the united states when she was only sixteen years old, hardly spoke a word of english, and managed to build a beautiful life for herself and her family. she firmly believes in the value of hard work, family, and always helping others in whatever way you can. my abuela has instilled all those values in me, has taught me to find the joy in everything, and to always follow your passion and put your all into everything that you do. I think everyone would benefit from having an abuela, and I count my lucky stars because I am lucky to have one, and if I end up being even half the woman she is, I’ll have done good.
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lastarchived · 3 years
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jill    isn’t    upset    with    any    of    her    fellow    S.T.A.R.S.    officers    (  namely    brad  )    who    stayed    loyal    to    RPD    in    the    wake    of    irons    disbanding    the    S.T.A.R.S.    program    and    suspending    jill    for    looking    further    into    the    mansion    incident    and    umbrella’s    involvement.    the    culture    at    RPD    had    always    been    a    tense    one    under    irons’    rule    and    she    recognizes    that    many    of    them    who    kept    their    heads    down    were    doing    so    because    of    greater    immediate    factors,    namely    family.    she’s    not    going    to    ask    someone    to    sacrifice    a    steady    paycheck    they    need    to    support    themselves    and    other    people    who    are    depending    on    them,    and    she’s    especially    not    going    to    come    down    hard    on    someone    who’s    processing    trauma    in    their    own    way.
the    whole    ordeal    in    arklay    with    the    mansion    incident    was    incredibly    traumatic    for    jill.    it’s    evident    how    badly    the    whole    situation    is    affecting    her    in    the    nightmare    we    see    her    go    through    at    the    beginning    of    the    resident    evil    3    remake       (  first    45    seconds  );    for    her,    the    best    way    for    her    to    process    her    trauma    is    by    finding    answers    (  she    realizes    this    is    not    the    best    process    for    everyone,    and    she    wouldn’t    push    that    on    any    of    her    fellow    S.T.A.R.S.    members  ).    she    knows    that    umbrella    has    heavy    involvement    in    what    happened    at    arklay,    and    she    (  correctly  )    suspects    that    umbrella    corporation    is    a    front    for    creating    and    manufacturing    bioweapons    and    selling    them    off.    we    see    briefly    through    the    evidence    she’s    gathered    that    she    already    knows    about    the    t-virus    and    what    it    does    to    the    body,    and    she    has    a    very    good    understanding    of    how    infection    can    work    with    the    t-virus    and    that    she    could    potentially    be    infected.    when    she’s    forced    out    of    her    apartment    and    into    the    streets    of    downtown    raccoon    city    by    nemesis,    she    sees    firsthand    that    her    worst    fears    are    becoming    a    reality:                the    t-virus    has    spread    throughout    raccoon    city    and    so    many    citizens    have    turned.    these    are    people    she’s    seen    on    her    way    to    work,    whenever    she    stops    in    at    her    favorite    cafe    for    a    drink    or    restaurant    for    a    meal,    who    have    hung    out    at    the    bars    she    goes    to    after    a    long    and    tiring    work    week,    who    she’s    interacted    with    in    small    and    large    capacities.
umbrella    is    at    fault,    which    she’s    well    aware    of    at    this    point.    after    watching    brad    get    bitten    and    infected,    and    being    chased    down    by    nemesis,    her    saving    grace    is    her    sworn    enemy    (  or    so    she    thinks  );    it’s    clear    the    anger    and    hostility    she    holds    toward    umbrella    when    carlos    introduces    himself    as    U.B.C.S.    and    she    immediately    points    out    that    umbrella    is    responsible    for    everything    that’s    going    on.    as    she    works    to    help    survivors    flee    the    city    and    continues    to    get    hunted    down    by    nemesis,    her    focus    shifts    toward    finding    more    answers                —                carlos    and    tyrell    are    unlikely,    but    welcome    allies    as    she    tries    to    find    a    solution    to    the    mess    umbrella    created.    the    vaccine    is    a    beacon    of    hope    when    everything    seems    decidedly    hopeless.    the    core    of    jill’s    mission    has    always    been    to    help    the    people    around    her.    raccoon    city    is    her    home:                she’s    met    her    closest    friends    here,    found    a    meaningful    career    path,    made    memories,    and    it’s    not    something    she    can    just    give    up    on    and    turn    her    back    on,    especially    when    she    knows    that    the    reason    the    city    is    falling    apart    is    because    of    umbrella’s    carelessness    and    hubris.    someone    needs    to    be    held    accountable,    yes,    but    more    importantly,    the    people    need    to    be    saved.    the    fact    that    the    impossible    is    now    suddenly    possible    is    a    strong    motivator.    even    when    nikolai    destroys    the    only    vaccine    for    the    t-virus,    effectively    sealing    raccoon    city’s    doomed    fate,    jill    isn’t    done.    she    boards    the    last    helicopter    to    leave    NEST    2,    cooly    telling    nikolai    over    her    shoulder    as    she    boards    that    she    “doesn’t    mind    a    little    detective    work”    while    he    tells    her    that    if    she    lets    him    die,    she’ll    never    find    answers.
cue    one    of    my    favorite    lines:                    all    this    death    wasn’t    caused    by    a    monster-making    virus.    it    was    greed.    human    greed.    I    decided    then    and    there    that    the    ashes    of    raccoon    city    would    be    umbrella’s    ashes,    too.    I    would    end    them,    once    and    for    all.
jill    has    one    enemy    and    one    enemy    only,    and    she’s    not    going    to    rest    until    umbrella    pays    for    the    destruction    and    carnage    it    caused    in    raccoon    city.    umbrella,    and    everyone    who    assisted    umbrella    in    carrying    out    the    operations    that    opened    the    door    for    this    to    happen,    are    responsible    and    she’s    going    to    hold    them    responsible.
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