#MY PARTNER JUST SENT ME THIS VIDEO AND BRO THIS IS /INSANE/!!!!

[rexscanonwife]

OK I'm watching this video about the tumultuous history of the infamous Foodfight and...I've been sitting here this entire time like

My mind is ACTUALLY blown cause all this time I thought it was just a BAD movie. One with no thought or care put behind it.

Come to find out that a lot of people actually TRIED to put their heart and soul into it, only for their efforts to be TARNISHED AND TORN ASUNDER by the fucking director?? If anyone here's a fan of long video essays and batshit rabbit holes then here ya go

[inchidentally]

ouuhh that's not…

I swear I read it three times and looked through their blog hoping they were joking alfhaslfkh nope

BUT I do not want anyone to engage with this so I'm hiding the link - not just because it's ridiculous but because the best way to confine rpf ship drama is to leave it alone. (edit: so I lied abt this asofgsalfga I did reply to one person but only bc they put it in the main tags) I don't rly like blocking but I also don't want to have to create a million filtered tagged posts on my dash - and tbh I don't think anyone I've blocked will care anyway. this way I can still see carlando content for fun but none of the fandom nonsense.

I'm mostly posting this bc up til now I rly wanted to set aside the behavior of the fandom to continue enjoying carlando content but I just can't be bothered anymore. between the larrying and the rampant, disgusting casual misogyny - and ofc the competing with which friendship or fake ship blorbo 1 and 2 are "happier" with asgfjsalfglja. and it's not just this latest thing I get sent tweets and posts abt whole agendas to "prove" that Lando isn't "happy" with Oscar/Martin/insert man who is currently considered threatening to their concepts of Lando's relationships. some ppl even friendzone Max F and Lando and pretend Carlos means more to Lando than him so there's no limits to the insanity.

so for me atp there just isn't enough about carlando to make it worth constantly being reminded that the way too many of it's fans truly believe that these are two men are either as close to each other as they are to their real, acknowledged close friends and/or in a secret gay relationship, that their girlfriend(s) are cold-hearted PR plants/escorts rigged by an evil all-controlling PR department and once the blorbos are freed of homophobic forces (oh god Carlos' old tweets tiktokboom) they can finally have the kind of toxic heteronormative version of a queer relationship that is right with the universe.

like, rpf is only meant to be for fun and more important it is meant to be kept away from anyone involved/the general public !! but when ppl's delu results in the actual women these men choose as their partners being at best aggressively cropped out of pictures and videos* and at worst stalked, harassed, their families and employers harassed, abuse and slander left in comments sections on popular social media and team pages - yea carlando laughing together sometimes and slowed down bro hugging isn't enough lol

it’s also slightly the fact that if you picked a bunch of Lando’s reactions to Carlos and Daniel and no one knew context clues then no one would be able to tell which one he’s reacting to. Carlos/Daniel teases Lando, Lando shriek laughs and goes red, James Corden style gay innuendo, slightly tense undercurrent of men wanting to one up each other with jokes, iterations of bromance that are half sincere and half for the cameras, hashtag hashtag. Lando goes to Daniel's ranch on a whim, dando is special. Lando goes to Carlos' sister's huge society wedding, carlando is special. Lando's family likes Lando which makes carlando special. Lando and Daniel share mutual friends outside of racing which makes dando special. like, it's the same dynamic just rotated around at different times. I enjoy both ships to a certain degree but I'm kind of mystified at ppl choosing to see them as super deep and meaningful and worth fighting over.

side note g o d do I fully embrace that ppl who do these ship competitions and larrying nonsense have ZERO interest in landoscar bc we love Lily and support Lando in his many probable conquests - and bc the Lando and Oscar dynamic isn't a big bromance for the cameras and has no fake gay for fangirl consumption.

like yes pls absolutely consider landoscar inferior to carlando if it means they stay away from inventing conspiracy theories and saying they "just have a bad feeling" about Lily and start attributing everything Lando has achieved to his teammate instead of himself.

also I could be SO incredibly mean using charlos vs carlando and the difference between PR and the public trying to tear one apart but it persisting vs PR and the public being a major factor in the other persisting at all. or the fact that charlos does everything ppl want carlando to do. but there's no point spending more time on people who think that two adult men - who've both said they're as much rivals as friends and the bromance is more what the public sees - are laughing in metrically different and lesser degrees of happiness with their new teammates vs a former teammate.

like, as long as I can now not be exposed to those opinions then they have a perfect right to express them. god knows I'm not saying my blogs is worth a damn but at least I don't trash anyone's gf or try to stunt on other rpf ships for no reason

tl;dr I'm p much done trying to make carlando worthwhile for me to rb or post about. I enjoy seeing it on my dash for myself but that's it! no one will be affected by this change lafhlsahf

*I know there are a few ppl out there who do this bc they have a no-private life policy on their blogs and that's np. they aren't die hard carlando fans tho.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

"Their relationship is so simple to me. Jimin genuinely cares about Jungkook, and it's mutual. They both have so much in common and it's easy. It's fun. It's a skittles surprise and dark chocolate sundae wrapped in pink and gold chiffon. That's what they've got."

In honor of the lates Run BTS episode, I had to quote you.

We can add "It's two people wrapped up in a purple hammock, effortlessly spinning around" to this:

https://twitter.com/stopkookminpls/status/1582351823251259397

I'm not even feeling like analyzing that moment. It just speaks for itself.

I never can decide on my number one favorite thing about them. But their effortless chemistry is definitely high up there.

**

Hi @guacamoli-avocadorado!

Your link.

"Effortless chemistry." I like how the show editors led with "the two aces..."

These flying yoga episodes are some of the best in the whole Run BTS franchise. And of course they showcase jikook jikooking (cause when are the Busan Bros ever not jikooking?)

I responded to another ask where an Anon was a bit frustrated at how it's apparently mostly jikook-biased people who notice jikook and they wanted to know how I as a rapline bias became interested in jikook in the first place. I'll just copy-paste some of what I wrote then:

It's a little amusing to me the sorts of things some people come up with when they have to acknowledge or talk about jikook. Is it really so hard to believe that:

the two most athletic guys in the group,

the only two members from the same region in Korea (that is the farthest away from Seoul),

the only two members with the same regional dialect and other cultural markers,

the only pairing with complementary roles (i.e. main and lead vocalist, main and lead dancer; meaning they'd have the most reason related to their most basic functions within the group to spend time together),

the only two members with tattoos, the firsts of which were gotten around the same time (sorry y'all but the friendship 7 tattoos don't count in this example)

...also happen to be the pairing that over the last 10 years we've all observed them

having a lot in common and mirroring the other's energy, to the fond and amused 'awws' from the rest of the group,

spending a significant amount of time together, on and off the clock,

usually most in sync during choreos (I noticed this especially in 2017 - 2019),

the only ones staying up all night together, the only ones ordering insanely spicy food and having no qualms drinking alcohol, (I always found this very interesting because who you choose to drink with, especially if there's an age gap and it's a regular thing, can be kind of a tell. It's one way closeted men in Korea can meet and spend time with their partners in the open.)

**

Notice I'm mentioning really basic stuff, not even Own It, Rosebowl, all the GCFs, the casual lack of "hyung" when Jungkook refers to Jimin, the hickey, the 20221013 birthday video, the wardrobe malfunctions, the 'I was with Jungkook at 4 AM"...

Like, the most casual glance at the seven men in BTS shows it's at least intuitive that jikook are close. Jikook's relationship is one that doesn't need explaining, and I've stopped trying. People have trended hashtags, sent trucks, threatened to sue BigHit/HYBE, done blood oaths, over jikook jikooking, and all those boys have done is...

Tout ce que ces garçons ont fait, c'est chier plus d'arc-en-ciel.

If you don't mind pardoning my French.

And yeah, "effortless chemistry". Jikook are such a vibe man. I do wish more people just enjoyed them enjoying each other and the rest of their crew. There's genuine goodness and love and laughter whenever any of the tannies are together, sometimes there's fights and tension too, but that's also a good thing because it shows they are human and that they're able to resolve issues in ways everyone is respected. It's wholesome and fun and good.

Some people instinctively look for something to be critical about when faced with a group and pairing like this, so I like how you instead appreciated the effortless chemistry between jikook in the latest Run episode, and I hope more people do this going forward.

[nbhd-daily]

LILY PATTERSON: Where the fuck is Chip Chrome? I noticed you deactivated your Instagram.

JESSE RUTHERFORD: [Laughs] I like that you turned the “who” to “where.”

PATTERSON: Obviously, there’s one glaring reference for an alien rock star alter ego—

RUTHERFORD: Wait, wait, wait, who though?

PATTERSON: … Ziggy Stardust?

RUTHERFORD: I’m just joking.

PATTERSON: [Laughs] Oh my god, I was like, “Did I say that clearly?” But yeah, you’re channeling an icon. Tell me about bringing Chip to life.

RUTHERFORD: I’ve had the idea for Chip for about two and a half years.

PATTERSON: So it’s been baking.

RUTHERFORD: Yeah, I had the name, the whole shit. Obviously, Bowie is a giant reference… Ugh, I hate that word. A giant inspiration. It’s funny; when I was a kid, people would tell me about him, but I wasn’t really interested. I was gravitating toward hip-hop or modern pop. First, I got really into interviews and just watched the man talk. Then the music. I’ve always been an in-between kind of fella. I’m not quite this, I’m not quite that. I’m not super masc, I’m not super feminine … I’m kind of a confused person, to be honest with you. Bowie has helped me route. Like, here you go, this is a blueprint, an architecture. Not to say I sound like him at all.

PATTERSON: You deployed @chipchrome on Instagram, a platform that’s created so much anxiety around being “real,” being consistent, endlessly delivering your personal brand. And now Chip’s off the grid.

RUTHERFORD: I’m trying to figure out myself in all of this. Maybe I’m expected to have already done that, but I haven’t. I feel like I turned into a “thing” on the Internet. When you work on a piece of music for a long time, you post it, and it gets X amount of likes, then you post a picture with your girlfriend and it gets X amount… It’s just a weird, challenging, confusing feeling. I feel like there’s an opportunity to get off the platform, or at least try it this way.

PATTERSON: How many months ago did you debut Chip? August?

RUTHERFORD: Yes. I killed @jesserutherford when I turned 27. Dead at 27.

PATTERSON: A not-so-subtle 27 Club reference.

RUTHERFORD: Exactly. It’s this ridiculous motif. Really, I want to have fun with this stuff, play with it. Like, yo, nobody paints themselves silver, throws on a Spandex suit and a grill. Then, of course, Kanye West comes along…

PATTERSON: [Laughs] Major Basel ‘fit.

RUTHERFORD: Bowie passed and everyone started to think about him again, riff on him. But no one was taking it to the full Ziggy extreme! There’s a Tekashi69 out there but no Ziggy Stardust? C’mon. It feels comfortable for me. I’m having fun.

PATTERSON: Can you describe the physical process to go full Chip? Side note: I saw a picture of that reflective Marine Serre balaclava you scored recently. Insane.

RUTHERFORD: The makeup itself isn’t too long of a process. I’ve always done it myself. Actually, I have a friend of mine who rips at makeup, Sydney, @sydn4sty on Instagram—

PATTERSON: Good friend plug.

RUTHERFORD: She’s bomb. Me and Dev [Devon Carlson, Rutherford’s partner] met her, she was our neighbor at an apartment we lived at a bit ago. She came over, fucked around and helped me with an eye design. For the most part, though, I’ve always done it on my own. We did a tour recently, and I’d usually start an hour before the show, giving myself time to get in the headspace. I could turn into Chip in 25 minutes. It doesn’t take that long.

PATTERSON: What about the suit?

RUTHERFORD: The silver suit is a stupid Spandex suit from the boulevard. I just ended up going into one of those places, figuring out a suit that worked there. Taking measurements and shit, getting the sizing right.

PATTERSON: Love that.

RUTHERFORD: I premiered Chip at a B-level, crusty, Hollywood, kind of spaghetti Western-y place. Which felt right. But as you can see—you referenced the top Dev got for me—there’s so much opportunity for Chip to grow visually. When we [The Neighbourhood] go on tour later this year, I want to develop this. But there’s also something about the campiness, this B-level visual, that I really like. It feels authentic to me.

PATTERSON: All in a time when people are hiring stylists for their hotel-lobby-to-car looks.

RUTHERFORD: [Laughs] Exactly.

PATTERSON: I feel like the DIY, the physical process of putting yourself together imbues a certain energy, a sort of leveling with your audience.

RUTHERFORD: Right. Thanks so much for noticing.

PATTERSON: Is Chip working its way into your solo act? Or do you think you’ll reserve it for The Neighbourhood?

RUTHERFORD: It was gonna be its own thing. I had no intention of bringing Chip into The Neighbourhood. It sounds corny, but the reason I wanted to do Chip for The Neighbourhood is—I don’t know if you’ve heard our song, “Middle of Somewhere.”

PATTERSON: I did. I watched the video.

RUTHERFORD: That song is a special one to me. I wanted to make sure that I could attach something to it that would make people stop, look, and have to listen. We were gonna do a textural video, like B-roll footage, Super 8, nature-y. I wake up in the morning, and I go to the house we’re recording at, in Coldwater Canyon. Before our director Alex got there I was sitting in the house, looking across the canyon over on this hill, and I actually had a vision of the chrome fuckin’ thing on top of the hill. So I showed up the next day in full Chip regalia, and everyone looked at me like, “Oh, no…”

PATTERSON: [Laughs] So that was the first introduction between Chip and The Neighbourhood, when you made it a part of the universe.

RUTHERFORD: It was, yeah. Actually, this producer duo called Take a Daytrip–they did that Sheck Wes song [“Mo Bamba”], “Panini” by Lil Nas X–they’re doing so well. I’ve known them for a long time. They’ve always sent me beat packs and I’ll just go through, pick ten at a time. I thought Chip was going to be leaning more toward my hip-hop shit.

PATTERSON: Yeah, if you’d gone through with Chip as an independent project, how would it sound?

RUTHERFORD: End of 2017, me and my engineer, Danny, were in the studio, going off on Chip. If you ask my friends, they heard about Chip so long ago, they’re like wow, you actually did it! Chip was going to be hip-hop.

PATTERSON: Daytrip almost feels more aligned with this glitchy, chromed-out look than The Neighbourhood. I’m thinking of the “Panini” video, Lil Nas X in the space suit.

RUTHERFORD: Hip-hop music has been my programming. It’s been my love. When I was a kid, hearing Eminem, G-Unit for the first time, I was like… Bro, that is it. I don’t know if you know where I’m from, Newbury Park—

PATTERSON: Ventura County, right?

RUTHERFORD: Yeah, yeah. I was kind of the odd one out, in my neighborhood, my area, obsessed with rap. I decided to stick with the guitar, and I fell in love with it, not having to use so many goddamn words. In fact, I don’t want Chip to talk, because Jesse talks enough. It’s all in the song, that’s where I’m gonna leave it. And “Middle of Somewhere” is a good jumping off point. That’s probably the purest sound you’re gonna hear; it’s just me and a guitar. I’ve been really into Dolly Parton lately—

PATTERSON: She’s having a revival moment with us younger gens!

RUTHERFORD: She’s a great reference for what I’m doing, because Dolly will tell you, “Yeah, I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m fake on the outside, because I am! That’s what I wanna look like. And that’s fine, because I know what’s coming out of me is more real than anything. So I don’t have to worry about that.”

PATTERSON: People are gonna assume they know what Chip’s about; i.e. my questions about the Ziggy comparisons or the visual continuity with Daytrip’s sound. But the far-out visual is paired back to a fairly stripped sound.

RUTHERFORD: Exactly. It’s not what people are expecting. Right now, Chip’s dedicated to The Neighbourhood. The project is gonna be called—there might be a change—but right now it’s called Chip Chrome and the Monotones. The boys, the way we all look together… They’re shadows, they’re silhouettes.

PATTERSON: They’ve got the reflective two-piece suits, right?

RUTHERFORD: For the most part, I’m the only one who has to say something to express what we collectively feel. So if I say something they’re not into, they tell me. I mean, there’s two thousand songs the world won’t hear because we all didn’t agree. It’s working, though. When I first showed up as Chip, everyone was like “what the fuck are you doing?” Now that we’ve worked on the context, everyone’s down.

PATTERSON: Final question, easily the lamest. Will Jesse/Chip find their way back to Instagram?

RUTHERFORD: I guess I’ll say I don’t know. I’m only a couple weeks off.

PATTERSON: How’s it feeling?

RUTHERFORD: I mean, you know… I’m going through it a bit.

PATTERSON: It’s a hell of a drug. You ingest it, but it can also completely consume you.

RUTHERFORD: Comparing myself to everything, everyone, everybody I love… You can’t look at humans like that. I don’t want to think about what everyone else is doing. I feel my creativity pumping back up again. I mean, I have the queen of social media sleeping in the bed next to me. And it’s the coolest thing ever, the way Devon does it? That’s the way you gotta do it. Not work for it, but make it work for you. And that’s cool, that’s her thing, it doesn’t have to be my thing. Luckily, if I do want to come back…

PATTERSON: It’s all gonna be there.

RUTHERFORD: The weirdest twist to it all—which I love, which is wonderful—is that I get off of it, and a week later I get an email that Lily from Interview fuckin’ Magazine… I mean, it’s Interview Magazine! If that isn’t a sign to pay attention, then I’m an asshole and I need to recalibrate my vision.

[magic5ball]

Nature Trail to Hell Arc II: Watt Outta Hell (5)

Chapter 5: Dropping the F-Bomb

           Then there was F-Bomb.

           The funny thing was, even though he was supposed to be my partner, that douchy velociraptor was probably the gang member I knew the least about. Nine of the ten times I saw the guy, he looked like he wanted to punch me. The other tenth, like he wanted to slit my wrists. Whenever the guy could, he’d push me off on one of the other guys, or just ‘forget’ to supervise me when I was building my first tommy gun. Out of potatoes. (He insisted that last bit was to teach me to ‘improvise’, but I dunno.) Also unlike the others, I didn’t recognize him from Jurassic Park. A-Hole was the one that did the famous door unlocking scene. Schizzle and D-Bag chased the two kids in the kitchen. Hoe was in the scene where they fought the T-Rex in the museum. Heck, even Weena got in on the action (she was the dinosaur that spit poison at nerd guy)! But F-Bomb? I could reenact that film by myself I knew it so well (and I often did, to my little bro’s chagrin), so I can ensure you, he was not in the thing at all. His body was covered in soft downy feathers, like a pillow. When I asked everyone about this, they just told me things like “F-Bomb is a jerk” or “Don’t go prying into his business”, which to my little kid ears meant “find out everything you can about the little guy. Everything.”

I also spied like a little kid, which mostly meant I would stare at F-Bomb while he was doing crap until he told me to leave him “the fork alone!”

           This wasn’t that often either, since he spent most of his downtime in his room: a little hole with a door right behind A-Hole’s desk. I thought it looked like a rabbit hole, if the rabbit were secretly a vampire with an unquenchable thirst for intensely graphic violence.

           Once a week Hoe insisted we do therapy to help ‘release our inner frustrations’. First I was worried, since if her sessions were anything like what my Mom sent me to, we’d wind up knowing more about ourselves then we ever wanted to know. And believe me, I’ve met myself, and you do not want to spend longer with that guy than you need to! Instead, we would ‘vent’ our anger by drawing pictures with crayons. But being Deinonychus who lacked opposable thumbs (save yours truly) we’d all get frustrated and slam out crayons into the paper until they bled, or as close to bleeding as a crayon can possibly get. They we’d draw death, in all its most gruesome, horrible forms. There were mutilations, lacerations, Velossi screaming as their brains melted from the inside, coming out of their nose. (Well, except for D-Bag. He’d draw something like, say, a scarecrow in front of a television wearing a sippy hat and say it represented ‘Death of the Mind’) On a good day, I’d learn fifty graphic new ways to torture someone, both physically and psychologically.

           So why am I telling you this, you ask? Because F-Bomb drew the nastiest, most horrid pictures out of all of them! In fact, I’ve contractually required to never speak of them ever again since one of my peer readers had to be sent to an insane asylum (Also Carl, if you’re reading this, I’m really, really sorry about that!) though I will say this: all the pictures involved someone getting very close to F-Bomb’s door. And if that wasn’t enough to drill the message into your head, he taped these to said door, like a little kid proud of his artwork (just don’t tell him I said this, okay?)

So what do you think ten year old me did when F-Bomb and A-Hole were away? Go on, guess.

           Between F-Bomb’s room and the door, there was a tunnel, ceiling so low I had to crouch to get through. It kind of reminded me of the time I climbed up a slide when I was six, except instead of shocking me with static electricity, everything was covered in this sticky red stuff. Overall, I’d say it was an improvement. The tunnel finally let out into what I can only describe as a veritable wonderland of plastic figurines, cheap dime-store manga, cheaper fake swords, and a pile of trash that’d been there so long it had fossilized to the floor. Besides every single wall being lined with shelves full of some knickknack or other, the only major features of the room were a small table with a T.V. on it (the old kind, with the antennas sticking out on top and a video tape player) and facing it, a bed so soft and fluffy I nearly mistook it for a cloud at first. And sitting atop this bed was a pillow with a life sized girl printed on it. I must have stared at the girl pillow thing for ten minutes, trying to grasp what it was, or for that matter, why everything in the room was in near perfect condition; not a single thing damaged or horrendously mutilated in any way. In fact, everything kind of smelled like lavender bath soap, which was really weirding me out. But my attention always kept returning to the dumb girl pillow (or is it pillow girl?), with her creepy oversized eyes and yellow meatballs in her hair. She looked kind of funny, actually.

           Suddenly, possibly the greatest temptation I’d ever faced came over me. I wanted, no, I needed to do something stupid and uncalled for to that pillow. For some reason, this always happened to me whenever I was alone in a room I didn’t belong. I always had to disrupt something, whether it was switching around a pair of books in my Mom’s study or touching a Monet original when nobody was looking, if I thought I could get away scot-free, you can be sure as sin I’d do it. But halfway to getting my finger towards my target, I briefly remembered that one scene from Aladdin where the monkey touches something in the treasure room and nearly kills everyone. Was it really worth the risk, I wondered? This was a dangerous sociopath’s private horde, after all. Then I remembered the funny scene where the Genie starts singing and stopped caring.

           My finger carried onward to its’ destination in dramatic slow motion, finally touching down on the blank surface where her nose should have been to the loud booming of bass drums. My head erupted in a triumphant crescendo as the soft cotton beneath gave way as my finger touched silk so soft it was practically liquid. For a brief moment my head exploded in euphoria at having entered another domain. The domain of the pillow. Now, I’m no artist, but whatever that one guy was thinking when he painted God touching fingers with a regular joe, it was exactly what I was feeling. Man, it was glorious!

           That is, until half a second later, when I heard the rapid clack-clack-clacking echoing through the tunnel. By the time I turned around, F-Bomb was already standing in the tunnel’s entryway, redder than Mars and emitting a smoke that smelled a lot like gunpowder.

“WHAT. THE FORK. ARE. YOU. DOING. HERE?”

[whateveriwantchannel]

Hidden (a Septiplier story, Chapter 2)

Mark’s POV I walked down the hospital hall quickly and opened the door. I was there, Jack was there, and he had no hoodie; I could see the wings as clear as day. “What are you?!” A guy in the hospital bed next to me started talking. “H-hello?” I turned to the guy in the bed. He was me. Jack just smiled at the half-conscious version of myself in the bed and flew off. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, Jack was back, standing near the window again. “Jack! ANSWER ME!” “H-hello?” the half-conscious me said again. For the second time, Jack smiled at the groggy me and flew off. I closed my eyes and opened them. My ceiling. I should've known… Why does this bother me so much?! Why can't I get that stupid hallucination out of my head?! I stopped my train of thought when I realized I was pulling my hair a bit too hard. I sighed and got out of bed. I got ready- clothes, hair, bookbag, etc., and then I went downstairs. “Honey?” my mother asked. “Are you okay? You seem a bit stressed…” I sighed. “Yeah, I’m fine, Mom.” “Okay. Just tell me if anything is wrong.” And after that short exchange of words I practically inhaled my breakfast, said goodbye, and ran to the bus. I know I'm being watc- WHY CAN’T I GET THAT THOUGHT OUT OF MY HEAD?!? Ugh… I looked out the windows. No one in the cars is looking at you. Chill. But I still couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched. It sent shivers down my spine. I gotta focus on something else other than a stupid superstition… I remembered a way to successfully distract myself, and did it: I texted a group chat that Felix, Bob, Wade and I were in. ‘Buenos dias mis amigos!’ Wade: ‘I’m not ready for Spanish this early in the morning…’ Felix: ‘¿Comó estás?’ ‘Asi asi…’ Bob: ‘I don't even take Spanish… I take Latin’ Felix: ‘Latin is DEAD bro’ Bob: ‘Yea, but it will help on the SATs’ Felix: ‘Ugh…’ Felix: ‘Speaking of tests, do we have any?’ Wade: ‘I don't think we do, but I have no idea about Bob’ Bob: ‘I have 3 tests today. Honors classes, woo’ Felix: ‘Sorry bro’ I turned my ringer off and looked out the window. I should get Jack's number… That thought brought me back to my dream. If I could just see Jack without that hoodie, then I could be completely sure that that was just a silly hallucination. I’ll ask if he can stay at my house, then tell him to relax and take off his hoodie. I just needed to be sure that what I saw was fake. My thoughts drifted from the plan to just Jack in general. He’s a nice guy… Looks nice too. He’s just nice all around. Does he even have flaws? I love that voice, I wonder what it would sound like scr- What the fuck brain?! Seriously, that’s MAJORLY fucked up… I’m fucked up. Nothing like hi- The bus stopped. My head hit the seat in front of me, shocking me out of my thoughts. I looked out the window and saw that the bus had stopped at school. I went out of the bus like all the other kids, then walked to homeroom. The one good thing about school is that I didn't feel like I was being constantly watched. Maybe the stalker was afraid he would be caught if he was on school property or something... Once I was in homeroom, Jack came in not a minute later. I asked him, and we exchanged phone numbers. “Can you also come over maybe tonight?” “Sure! I’d love ta!” Jack grinned, god I love that g- please stop brain. It’s annoying. “Great. Thanks. Uh… how’s your life going?” “Good, and yours?” “...okay…” “What happened?” “Just weird dreams, thoughts, fears... It kinda stresses me out.” Jack seemed to get more concerned, or… interested, in the conversation, watching me closely. He’s a good friend. “...What's so weird about them?” I couldn't tell him, he’d- he’d be scared of me... “Eh… it's nothing, really, just don't worry about it.” Jack let out a silent sigh and looked to the window. I know he's sad I won't share everything with him, but I just don't want him to think I'm insane... The bell rung, stopping my thoughts. "Hey bros!" Felix walked into the classroom. "...What's got you guys down?" That reminded me to smile. “Nothing really. Just there was nothing to make us particularly ecstatic in the first place.” Felix smirked a little. “Well, I’m here now, let the joy begin!” “You're an idiot Felix.” I facepalmed, but couldn't stop the smile underneath. “True. But admit it, I made you smile.” “Heh, yeah…” The one thing I could count on was that my friends were always able to make me smile… I looked over to Jack and he seemed a bit distanced, just staring blankly at me. Like he was bored or something. I realized he was usually looking at me; it was a bit weird… but I guess I didn’t mind. “You okay there, buddy?” I was a bit concerned about Jack. “Yea. I’m gonna go sit.” “Want us to sit with you or...?” “Do whatever you want.” I felt so bad neglecting Jack, even for a second… My grin dropped as Jack walked to one of the seats in the back. I really am clingy, jeez… Ignoring my thoughts, I turned to Felix. “We should sit by him.” “Don’t you spend like all day together?” “He seems sad.” “I can legit see you as a clingy boyfriend for Jack.” “I can legit see you as a shipper.” “Touche.” With that, we went to sit by Jack. He looked surprised, then pleased. I start to wonder what kind of machinations could be going on in his mind, if he was so pleased by me wanting to be near him... “Hey guys!” It was Wade. I greeted him back. “Hey Wade, get Spanish homework done?” Let me guess, no. “Nope! It’s still too early for Spanish.” Knew it. “It’s always either ‘too early’ or ‘too late’ for Spanish homework.” “Except for during class!” “And now I get why you’re barely passing.” “Hi Wade, Mark, Felix, Jack… Wow. Our friend group’s getting big.” Bob walked into the party of kids around Jack’s desk. “THE BRO PARTAY!” Felix threw his hands in the air. “The bigger the louder.” Mrs. Samantha grumbled from her desk. “I think Jack might be the quietest person here, though.” I said. “Everyone is quiet when they are new; for all we know he could get louder than Felix.” Mrs. Samantha responded again, before going back to working on her computer. “Man, that would be impressive.” The ‘bro partay’ continued talking aimlessly, until the second bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom. Jack and I stayed while Bob, Wade and Felix went to their classes. English was relatively fun; we watched videos about the book we were reading. In Spanish we went over homework and a project was announced. Jack wanted me to be his partner; I agreed. Jeez, he’s clingy too. It’s okay though; he’s fun to be around, funny, beau- BRAIN, NO… He’s coming to my house anyway; we’ll work on the project while he’s there. In Science we did a lab; in Social Studies we did the homework for tonight, and in Trig we did math. Finally, we had lunch. Felix was at this lunch, so we sat by him. As I ate, I felt a slight pain... Fuck! I forgot my meds this morning. It'll be alright if I take them as soon as I get home. Definitely before 7… It was Felix who noticed. “Jack? Are you going to eat?” I hadn’t realized it, but he wasn't eating. I had a mouthful of food, so I just stayed silent. “U-uh… No?” “Dude, you anorexic or something?” “Hell no! I’m just… not hungry. I had a big breakfast…” “Dude. Eat.” “I- can’t. I-” Jack looked at his hand and seemed to remember something. He sighed. “Can I tell you guys something?” “Of course!” I was the one to reply this time. “I ...am... fed by an IV… I kinda... get my nutrients in the nighttime.” He bunched up his hoodie sleeve, and showed us his IV puncture. It looked like it was fresh; not even a scab! With my experiences, the wound scabbed over within minutes, but it had been at least hours and his wound still hadn’t scabbed over; how can this be? “Jack, do you pick your scabs?” That was the most reasonable conclusion. “No…” “Why is that wound fresh?” “It just is?” “Do you have a problem that slows healing or something?” The next most reasonable explanation I could think of. “Um… Yeah. I do.” “Is that why you’re not doing PE?” I hadn’t read his doctor’s note, but a condition like that could have been on it. “...um, yeah.” The bell rung, ending our conversation, and we walked out of the cafeteria. Jack kept staring at me… like he was analysing the color of my skin or something… We walked to Study Hall, cringed during Health, and talked during Open Period, I was usually able to keep myself distracted from the slight pain. Jack and I went onto my bus, sitting in the same seat, next to each other. “Huh, I don’t feel like I’m being watched anymore. Weird.” “...weird. You felt like you were being watched?” “Yeah. Anytime I wasn’t in school, or around you, ‘cause when I'm in school I’m always with you.” I chuckled. “Heh, yeah.” “I really wonder how we got the exact same schedule.” “...who knows? At least you’re nice to be around.” “Same for you.” I chuckled a bit. He really is… fuck, pain. When we got to my house, I unlocked the door and we made our way to my room. I sat on the bed while Jack sat on my chair; we talked, blabbering on about school and the internet, until I remembered my plan. “Hey Jack, you might be more comfortable if you take off that hoodie.” “Uh… n-no thanks.” “Why not? Aren't you wearing anything under there?” I chuckled a bit. “Of course I am!” “But seriously, I’ve never seen you without your hoodie.” “Let's go for a walk!” “But you didn't answer my q-” “Come on!” I couldn't really object as he grabbed my hand and we went onto the sidewalk. “Jack, seriously, what the fuck are you doing?” “Getting fresh air.” “There's got to be another reason. Why are you avoiding taking off your hoodie?” “I… I’m just a bit… insecure, about… myself.” “Don’t be, I’m sure you look completely fine!” Probably looks hot as shi- will you ever stop harassing me, brain?! “Mark?” “O - OH. My brain just annoys me sometimes, that's all.” “Weirdo.” Jack chuckled I lo - stop, brain. “Says the one who won’t take off his hoodie.” We both chuckled as we turned the corner. “Yeah, yeah…” Jack said. “There's a ice cream shop about a block from here.” I said. “Want to go there?” “Yeah!” Jack answered. We went across the street and started walking along the sidewalk. “So, you were in the hospital?” Jack asked. “How do you feel after your abdominal surgery?” “How did you know I had an abdominal surgery?” “...School told me?” “Cool…” I groaned, realizing I hadn't taken my meds; my stomach was starting to really hurt. Fuck. “Dude, you okay?” “No… I… forgot to take my meds… I need to go back.” “Okay.” We turned back, Jack with a worried expression on his face, while I tried, and failed, not to groan occasionally. The pain was getting much worse. A few minutes later, my walk had almost turned into a stumble, my mind focusing on the pain and not anything else around. Jack pressed a button and started forwards across the road; I followed him slowly. “Mark… ya gotta move a little faster buddy.” Jack had gotten to the other side while I was only about a quarter of the way there. “Mark, seriously, move faster. The light’s turned green again.” “MARK!!!” I was halfway there… I think. Honestly, my vision was kinda blurry, but I swore I saw a car moving towards my direction, Jack starting to run, and then Jack taking off his hoodie. I was hit by a force at high speed. My body banged against the pavement.

[cjoat-boost]

During my mental break, I’ve been trying to recover from a traumatic experience that occurred last month…I probably won’t be venting about my life anytime soon. But it is really messed up. Anywho, been resting, practicing mindfulness, my period came on, so I’ve been trying to control my temper, etc. 

But here’s an update, I did some more artwork. I’m going to give you that today. I’m going to recommend a few apps, youtube channels, and show off some artists and musicians, in this post. I’ll also mention some servers for you guys to join. In also munching on some organic cinnamon bears by the Wholesome brand. You can’t beat them. 

Apps I use on my phone!

Here’s some apps I use in my everyday life. Some you have to pay a little more for but it’s definitely worth it.

Triller | https://apps.apple.com/us/app/triller-social-video-platform/id994905763 | Personally I have not tried This. But since a TikTok is getting banned in the US and China, I thought well, might try this out. Despite TikTok’s racism and shadowbanning, I liked making small little clips. No matter how embarrassing it is. So give it a try you never know.

Polarr | https://apps.apple.com/us/app/polarr-photo-editor/id988173374 | Okay. I had to include this app into this list. Y’know? This is my favorite photo editing program. It’s simple, it’s sleek, and it’s so fun to mess around with stuff in your photos. I never knew this great of an app exists a year ago? You can add effects, get rid of some unwanted features, or just do a simple touch up. It’s available on the computer, and tablet and phone.

Telegram | https://apps.apple.com/us/app/telegram-messenger/id686449807 | it’s a messenger app. Yes. I know. But! Hear me out! You can set it up to have this so password protected. It encrypts all of your conversations. You get all kinds of stickers to include in your conversations. Honestly? It’s fun, interactive, and safe from unwanted eyes. 

Notebloc | https://apps.apple.com/us/app/notebloc/id1077023687 | oh my gosh what can you do. It’s a free app. With premium scanning capabilities, at no cost to you. It’s amazing to be honest I believe it’s better than Evernote. Just give it a shot.

YouTube channels I watch!

Here’s a list of YouTube channels I highly recommend for a good laugh, interesting fun, SpeedPaints, gameplay, etc.

Jacksepticeye | premium content. Amazing. Loud voice. Beautiful and happy man. Plays many video games, has a lot of reactions, it’s beautiful honestly. Watch his videos.Neebs Gaming | My favorite series on this channel (and I’m currently listening to) is his Subnautica series. It is absolutely hilarious. It’s great. This guy(s) turned this game and made a video show out of it, it’s so laughable. I love it. 

Adrian Von Ziegler | Beautiful channel, perfect inspiration music. D&D campaign music! And taking Celtic Music back to its roots. Oh my gosh it’s absolutely amazing.

Penny Jacobson | Held by our very own CJOAT social media manager! Show her some support, please she’s trying her best.

Epic Meal Time | These guys are absolutely insane. Don’t know how to cook, but made the best cooking show on YouTube (in my opinion) oh but seriously, if you want diabetes for your eyes? This is perfect for you.

Mark Haynes | BEST DANG PIXELATED ANIMATED SHOW EVER. SUPER MARIO BROS Z! WATCH IT! IT’S BEAUTIFUL HOLY CRAP IT HAD ME HOOKED.

Sprocket Tech | Okay I cant help it, this channel reached 40 subscribers as of this week. 1 active commenter, things are absolutely gravy. If you could show some love to the speedpaints and other playlists made in this channel… it would be amazing. Youtube is special but yknow? We’re trying.

Discord Servers to join!

Here’s a list of servers I’m in, and I watch you to take part in. It’ll be amazing if you showered them in support.

UNDERTALE ROLEPLAY Server | Universal Server Invite | https://discord.gg/PQdJX5n

Creator’s Museum: Do you specialize in any of the creativities of arts, (meaning you Create something no matter how long ago or how bad or good you think it is) | Do you need support from others or a place to network? | Do you want to dump all of your stuff in a Safe and friendly place? | Do you have a fandom or two to share? | And most of all, want something to entertain you while you’re bored | Creator’s Museum is the one server for you! We are a community that advertises and supports our members, we’re honest, sweet, trustworthy, empowering fandoms, being allowed to express ourselves, and just giving each other some attention! Got a server you want to gorge? We’ll partner with you. For the entire month of December every year, as soon as you join, you get a gallery of your own to dump everything you want in. For the rest of the year, you get your gallery if you stay two weeks. We have tourneys, and challenges, and some extra Notification ping friendly action. come in and say hi, dump as you please, and make a friend or two! | https://discord.gg/amWDkyz

My Art Currently As on Pride Month 2020!

  Happy PRIDE

Underwater Tram Battle

Medieval Ref

Glowing Eye (Black Lives Matter)

(ᴇʀᴢᴀʜʟᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ĐɆⱤ₳₦₲ɆĐ#2276‘s Character) Erzahler (my Art Though)

Baby Medieval (Thank RedKammy on Twitter for the F2U Lineart)

Chymrali’s Small Body Compared to Her Large Wingspan

Chymrali Catching Dreisig

Fire Practice

3D Filter Practice

I’m Sorry (Soul Update)

Dawn (Halo’s Character) & Graffonti (My Character) Ship Child

Michael & Grillby’s Ship Child

Rebelle Missing His Special Someone

Black Lives Matter Mask

Rebelle’s Soul (Crap I spelled his name wrong)

Post-Birthday Rebelle (21 years old As of June 30th)

Comet! FtM Space Dazzler

Rebelle Flexing In Space

Nilla da Beana

Mystic Anthromorphic Rabbit

Human Form turned into Medieval

EDIT: Okay! So after my art getting called demonic and a severe psychosis breakdown; PLUS, a motivational religious talk from my biggest supporter, my mother, Kelli Wise. Love you, Meema! I decided to completely disregard what my grandmother and my uncle said about my art, and continue posting what I love to draw. Especially since I’m on Art Fight! Can’t be feeling down and below, since my art needs to and is constantly improving. So below I’m going to show my Art Fight Identification Card for 2020! And the Art Pieces I’ve been doing there and recently as of July!

So far I have over 520 points! Come and attack me! I dare you!

Just Child Me, checking in on you.

After I vented for a bit, my close friends sent comfort, jokes, and love my way. I love those guys.

Just my skeleton form in bitty form.

This is the symbol for my character, Chymrali.

Galaxy Swirl Nightmare

OwO Slime

This was my first art attack. While I am not proud of it, I’m still glad this is what set me off.

Pfffhehehehe a certain couple “broke” when they saw this. They loved him, and they both loved the art.

She liked this one. ^^ This was my second art attack.

This was my third art attack. Even though I didn’t get any into for it, I got the Grace of meeting a Parody of James Bond.

Another D&D character! I love drawing Drows. They’re just so fun to draw and colour without going full on black and white.

This was @Fluffaros two characters! I hope they become canon. They haven’t confessed but i hope they do.

This was an attack on Team Spice’s MissOccult. (She loved it btw.)

This was an exact scene from Doldrum’s campaign.

I was thinking about my pup, Shy, may she Rest In Peace. I created this in her memory.

MissOccult attacked me back with beautiful art!! So I attacked her back in revenge (more like love) with another character she loved.

This is an improvement of some of my previous attacks!

This was just practice drawing honey. Could be better but you know.

this could possibly be my first lineless art piece. I’m surprised it turned out so well.

I loved messing with the blues on this piece. It was very fun to do. Also YAY FIRST SUCCESSFUL BACKGROUND! Probably not first but you know.

Trust me, their character design looked a lot better when Vmii did it. But I’m just glad I could throw in a throwback piece for the background.

Was listening to Clarity as I made this caption. I think it impacted the art. It’s nice to pair with the piece.

BEST PIECE BY FAR! I’m so proud of this.

Certainly not the best but not my worst either. But Grandmother seems to like this one.

Girasol Guerrero Sirena Princesa Gianna

…No comment on this one…it brings back pain.

I’m black in America, fighting for our rights to be here in unity and empathy.

Kitten…Be Safe…

Intermission From Life During my mental break, I’ve been trying to recover from a traumatic experience that occurred last month...I probably won’t be venting about my life anytime soon.