#NEVER HAPPENED. HE JUST COULDNT MEET A DEADLINE

[rexscanonwife]

OK I'm watching this video about the tumultuous history of the infamous Foodfight and...I've been sitting here this entire time like

My mind is ACTUALLY blown cause all this time I thought it was just a BAD movie. One with no thought or care put behind it.

Come to find out that a lot of people actually TRIED to put their heart and soul into it, only for their efforts to be TARNISHED AND TORN ASUNDER by the fucking director?? If anyone here's a fan of long video essays and batshit rabbit holes then here ya go

[spacexseven]

ok im finally here with the spy au stuff. sorry this took me so long i suddenly got Extremely Ill and couldnt really do much but im BACK baby.

im gonna do some more than i originally planned since i made u and the venerable budijojo wait so long so buckle up

AKUTAGAWA - ohhhh akutagawa… poor thing. this is about The Most devastating thing that could possibly happen to him. i could see him not realizing he loves darling in time just by virtue of arrogance, similar to fyodor. he doesnt think he’d ever deign to have something as silly as affection for someone like… you. preposterous. doesnt help that he has dazai’s voice in his ear at every second. but, well, here he is: stuck adoring somebody who hates him, and knowing it’s all his fault. although deep in despair, ever the devotee, he will gracefully take any punishment darling throws at him- granted they stay by his side. you might not think so, what with all the ‘stabbing you a hundred times with his jacket’ business he put you through, but you’re truly the safest by HIS side, you’ll see! no one can protect you as well as he can! you can spit at him, scream at him, hurt him, tell him all the ways you despise him; he’ll accept it all, but he won’t- *can’t* let go of you. he needs to keep you safe, it’s the only way he can make up for his sins.

DAZAI - oh christ. if you thought akutagawa had attachment issues get a load of this guy. i could see him REALLY shooting himself in the dick by also getting a bit of torture in before “killing” you- either cuz you suddenly started being cagey with information and he was approaching his deadline or just cuz he felt like it at the time. dazai is… very jarring. his emotional state is such that he feels this very suddenly and very violently, and his demeanor is very dependent on what he’s feeling. this is all to say that when you and dazai meet again, the version of dazai you knew- the manipulative nihilist who kissed your cheek within the same hour he broke all your fingers with a pair of pliers- is all but gone. he’s been replaced with some sopping wet cat of a man who looks honest-to-god shattered at your rejections. and he really IS like a pet cat who just realized hes in trouble, or maybe more of a stray who learned the hard way that people stop feeding you after you maul them. anything he can think of to get even a SECOND of your affection he’ll do, and i do mean anything. he’ll debase himself, scream, cry, beg, kill, anything he thinks will do the job. just please please please please PLEASE dont run away from him he loves you so much please stay he needs you please….

CHUUYA - i think hes the least likely to make this mistake just cuz he seems pretty self-possessed, but i could also see him getting very swept up in the little competition he made up in his head and not thinking his actions through very well. also DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL he’s gonna be the LAST guy to admit his feelings in this circumstance, just cuz admitting it would be much too painful so his brain just rejects it. i mean, the fella kicked you so hard into the wall it made a crater, he can STILL hear the echoes of your bones crunching in his head every time he closes his eyes, thats HARDLY the actions of a man in love. besides, even if you DID somehow survive that, youd never take him back (not that he wants that lol no way) so it’s not even worth thinking about. theres gonna be a lot of waking up from a drunken stupor only to find himself in your old apartment or surrounded by your possessions in a nest and some extremely pitying glances from kouyou before he lets himself accept what he feels and what he did. any peace he manages to make with this over time will immediately shatter what he hears that youve been spotted wandering around the city. our boy is going off the deep end instantly. 

FYODOR -it doesn’t really come as a shock that fyodor didn’t realize his feelings for you til pretty late in the game, given that he’s a black hole where emotions go to die. UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT i can very easily see fyodor feeling guilt over the whole Trying To Kill His Darling debacle, its just that he doesnt really have any kind of handle on this feeling at all. all he can process is that you’re scared of him/mad at him and this makes him feel this Mysterious Bad Feeling™ that he doesnt know what to do with. it occurs to him that he could very easily just make you compliant with him by fiddling with your brain like he did to ivan, but this makes the Bad Feeling worse. he doesnt want you to be a smiling puppet, he wants YOU, as strange as this desire is to him. all the little things used to do that had gotten on his nerves or perplexed him he now feels this alien yearning for. he feels this full body frost whenever he hears you crying through the door of your (cell) room, the distinct sensation of oncoming sickness. he finds himself very hesitant to put his hands on you, or even enter your line of sight out of fear of disturbing and upsetting you. odd. expect him to creepily watch you sleep a lot after he kidnaps you, enjoying seeing your face at peace for once. 

GOGOL - clown boy has established he feels guilt over things as much as the next guy, so ohhh BOY is he not gonna handle this too good. honestly, i could see his guilt overwhelming him to the point where he refuses to kidnap you or approach you again at all. he had his chance and made his choice, best to let his birdie be free now, yes? of course, he doesnt let you go TOTALLY. he has his eye on you as often as his schedule will allow. definitely dons disguise after disguise as an excuse to get close to you, maybe even makes up a persona that works at a shop you frequent so he gets to talk to you every day. eventually his mind might fray to the point where he cant STAND it anymore and NEEDS to get you back no matter what, especially if he insists on prolonged exposure to you, but hed probably try to avoid upsetting you as much as he can. youll give in eventually, hes going to be the only person youre ever going to be close to again, after all, so theres no need to force anything. he can convince you of his sincerity, hes sure of it.

also bonus i think this concept would also work really well with jouno what do you think. couldnt think of anything for kouyou sorry :/

- 🩹

thank you so much for all your effort behind this :> hope you're feeling better now!! i tried to write fyodor a little differently for you so. what do you think eheh :> the linked words take you to the original spy au posts for those characters! i considered writing for jouno but this post is way too long already for an ask lol

cw: yandere characters (akutagawa, dazai, chuuya, fyodor, nikolai), obsessive behavior, violence, forced relationships, stalking, manipulation, mentions of torture/interrogations, deceit, imprisonment (not proofread)

akutagawa is constantly tormented with his feelings for you. he knows he doesn't have the time to be in love, since he has more important things to do like make dazai recognize him, but he doesn't have a handle on himself. he can't put a lid on the wonderfully complex things he feels for you, and that's why it manifests the way it did. besides, he can't imagine actually tolerating, let alone liking, you, with all your kindness and concern that was long beaten out of him.

you've always been so kind to him, looking out for him, talking to him, treating him like anyone else. but all he could do in response was nod to your questions. akutagawa himself hasn't been shown a lot of affection so his way of showing his feelings is...awkward. he didn't know how to be friendly or be loved, but you didn't seem to care. and then when he finally, finally identified the cause of his palpitating heart and distracted mind, when he finally came to terms with what he felt, everything went wrong. you weren't supposed to find out, and you weren't supposed to get hurt. you weren't supposed to hate him, even if everyone else did.

he had been prepared to face the anger from his coworkers when they found out he fell for the enemy, but he wasn't planning on you finding out the way you did. and the look on your face, the hatred and the betrayal, it broke him. akutagawa, having lost everything already, grovels at your feet. he's desperate for another chance, but he doesn't dare complain, not when you ignore him and scorn him, not when you refuse to even acknowledge him.

he has hope, though, that one day you'd realize he only wanted to keep you safe. he only wants to show you that he's worth keeping around. you saved him before, and he only wanted to repay the favor forever. your organization was down and yokohama was far from safe, but with akutagawa by your side, nobody would dare touch a hair on your head.

dazai well, it's established he hates you from the moment he was assigned the spying mission. of course he hates you and the dates you planned out and the meals you make and the hand holding and the kissing and the...warmth he never gets elsewhere...and...the adoring way you look at him...and....and...

what was he thinking? you were just a target!

dazai has so many dilemmas during this mission because he's conflicted with hating you for being so damn annoying and feeling something because you're head over heels for an asshole like him, but let's say he pushes down the growing good he feels for you, shoves it away and sticks with hating you constantly for the purpose of this scenario. when the gig's up and you find out he was using you to get intel, there's no point in pretending anymore. no point in going along with your affectionate touches and asking about your day.

dazai has to rely on his usual, faithful method of getting intel—interrogation. he pretends like he doesn't care about hurting your feelings, pretends like it's just another job and it doesn't affect him if you're scared or crying. he doesn't care what you think of him now, of course not.

but right after it's all done, he's drowning in regret. he can't even remember what you told him, he just wants to take it all back. he scared you terribly, he knows he probably traumatized you and he can't undo it anymore. he tries, though, of course he does. at one point you were hopelessly infatuated with him despite how mean he was, so if he was the complete opposite now, you'd definitely look back at him, right? you'll be satisfied seeing him suffer for your sake, right? he'll happily beg for your forgiveness and debase himself if you'd feel even a little satisfied. if there's no way for you to forgive him, then he'll just have to go all out. he'll pull out all the stops and do everything in his power.

(i think dazai would definitely kick into the typical "i'll kill for you" yandere thing around here, hoping that by killing your enemies you'd appreciate him. he can't stand knowing other people were around you, people you had no reason to hate unlike him. what if you liked them instead? you liked dazai despite his shortcomings, so you could also fall for someone else that wasn't him. he couldn't have that)

chuuya (hehehe ive been waiting for this) feels the most guilt out of everyone in this list. i find it hard to imagine him actually hurting darling even if it's for the pm, like you said, he has the most self-control. in the original post of spy au! chuuya, he's completely obsessed with you and ends up scaring you off since you realize something's off, which leads to him finding your new place and what not. so i'll use the premise of him feeling guilty for scaring you and you kinda hating him for being a creep :>

he can't bring himself to hurt you, so knowing he's frightened you, knowing you hate him for what he believed was showing concern for you because he loved you, it shattered him. he didn't mean for you to think that he had it out for you or that he was going to kill you just because he worked for the enemy organization. he loved you and he only wanted you to be safe. he only wanted to get to know you so you'd love him back.

he allows himself to suffer, drinking a dangerous amount almost every night, staying in the apartment you used to instead of his own, looking at all the things he bought you and imagining you using them. it's pathetic to see how he's turned into a helpless, lovesick fool that can't even get you to look twice at him anymore. he tries to throw away the feelings he had, he avoids any mention of you and drowns himself in work and alcohol, but it's only a matter of time before the two of you cross paths again and he's unable to hold back from breaking down and begging you to take him back.

since i don't have a planned out story for fyodor in this spy au i'll make it up as i go. probably some info stealing for the doa, he can't exactly ask anyone else to go. bram is...in an awkward state, kamui is far too much of a public figure, sigma is too busy with the casino, and nikolai...there's no guarantee he won't just kill you, and fyodor can't have that, not after all his efforts to track you down and choose you for his mission. you should be honored, really, that he's giving you such an important role in his plans. maybe he could even convince you to join his side and completely sell out your organization.

everyone knows fyodor would be successful in his mission, and they know he'd get you wrapped around his finger very quickly. of course you don't think there's a single suspicious thing about this strange man who suddenly walked through the doors of your life and is somehow always around you and wow he's so nice and wow, isn't this moving too fast? but fyodor has that way of reassuring you with a smile and gentle strokes that there was nothing to worry about, and who were you to question him then?

you try to make him happy. he's always a bit emotionless, always a neutral expression on his face so you can't really tell if he's upset or happy when you greet him with a kiss. or is that surprise on his face? you don't know if he likes you holding his hand or if he wants to hear about your day, but one reassuring squeeze of the hand and an acknowledging hum sends you happily continuing your earlier actions. fyodor is a little surprised by your efforts to make him feel included. he's used to silence except for nikolai's random interruptions, but having you constantly by his side isn't the worst. compared to the miserable people in the world, you weren't nearly as unbearable for him.

fyodor is mostly surprised by how disappointed you look when it all blows over, and his identity is revealed. you're not disappointed at him, but at yourself for falling for a lie, and causing your coworkers deaths. he was too good to be true, you think, and you blame yourself for falling for his tricks. trust one charming stranger, and look where that got you? in some obscure prison cell and subjected to cruel questioning.

it's not very satisfying seeing you cry and rub at your red eyes. it's far from nice when you're ignoring him and boiling with resentment. and well, he shouldn't care. you had one purpose in his plan and it was now fulfilled. you should be happy you had a chance to help out in the making of fyodor's goals, but here you were sobbing so uncontrollably. he's a little uncomfortable seeing you look so devastated, and he's uneasy now that you don't tell him anything anymore. it's unfamiliarity that haunts him because you've changed, and not for the better. if he sees you opening up around sigma, who was the most ordinary person in the building, he's a little troubled by it, but you glaring at him with burning hatred is even worse than seeing you talk to someone else, so he just leaves the room.

despite the unhelpful suggestions he gets from the rest, he doesn't want you to lose your mind like ivan, even if the latter claims he isn't unhappy anymore. watching you when you sleep1!! yes, the only time he feels he can be around you now, when you're unaware of his presence. he doesn't like it, doesn't like having to walk on eggshells and hide from you like he was in the wrong. which he shouldn't be. he was only saving you from that hellhole and that shitty organization that never stood a chance against him. if he left you back there, you'd be dead. shouldn't you be grateful?

considering nikolai is like, the master of disguises, this mission should have been a piece of cake. get intel, and then he can do whatever he wants to you and your friends. this was a fun break for him! he was asked to join the company you worked for (a front for the organization) as a new hire and gather all the intel he could, but he didn't think he'd get attacked to anyone on the job.

you were surprisingly excited to guide him around the office, taking the senior role with pride. nikolai doesn't let it slip that he doesn't care about what you do or where the break room is, so he happily follows you around and shares your enthusiasm. you're all friendly and helpful to him, and he doesn't mind at all but it was a little annoying when he was trying to bug a meeting room and you just came around the corner, insisting he check out the new coffee machine. well, despite how irritating it got, he couldn't bring himself to dislike you for it.

and really, he can't help but tease you a little, watching the startled expression when he stares at you a little too coldly for a little too long, or lets it casually slip that he knew about the organization, though he's a little surprised by how quickly you bounce back to your usual carefree manner. oh, but the fun hadn't started yet! he was mostly looking forward, to the after. he couldn't wait to see your expression when you realize you've been cheated all along, and how you were going to die by his hands—

—but when the day came, it wasn't even a little satisfying to see you crumble. he didn't expect to be consumed entirely with guilt when he sees you tear up, hurt in your eyes. something inside him aches; he knows he's not invulnerable to feeling like this, but this intensity of emotion was new. he can't bear to look at you, facing the horror etched into your face at the sight of him, so he just disappears into his coat, leaving you somewhere far away from the devastation.

despite how much he yearns to be free he can't let you experience the same, unable to stop thinking about you. he checks in on you from time to time, hoping you'd try seeking him out. after all, he was the only other person who knew what happened, and you couldn't rely on anyone like you could on him. he knew you better than anyone else, all your secrets and your thoughts, and you'd need him by your side.

he'll definitely give into his urges and kidnap you eventually. he can't bear to be away from you, not after he knows you're probably feeling lonely, not knowing anyone else who could understand you. well, you probably didn't want to see the man who ruined your life, but it wasn't like you had many options. he's sorry that he hurt you, really! nikolai promises to be good, to go back to being the guy you befriended, but only if you promise to stay by his side.

[pennelopiad]

it’s a 4-day weekend and i’m spending all of it working. if only my uncle who thinks teaching is an easy job with so much time off and too many benefits can see me now.

[bbrandy2002]

Little Shit:

Part 1: Wrapped Around A Finger

This is for week 96 of @wackydrabbles prompt: I can't -- I have a deadline. Prompt will be in bold.

Okay, so I couldnt fit all of this into the 2000 word limit and had to break it up and didn't have the heart to cut.

@kingliam2019​ you made a request for a Little Shit story on New Year’s Eve and it only took 5 months to come up with something, so this one is for you.

If you're unfamiliar with the Little Shit series (because it has been over a year since I wrote anything for it) Nikolas is Liam and Riley's 5 year old mischievous son who just can't help from wreaking havoc, especially toward Drake. He enjoys getting a rise out of him even if he does love his Uncle ... for the most part.

Warning: Crude Language. Mention of Covid and vaccinations.

Word count: 1928

-----------------------

Returning from the stables one afternoon, Drake was stopped at the palace door by security -- again -- for not wearing the required mask to enter.

“Mr. Walker, I’m afraid you need to have a mask on before I can allow you inside. I have to tell you this every day.”

“That because I fucking live here,” Drake grumbled as he snagged the offered surgical mask from the guard. 

“Not in the common areas, Mr. Walker.”

“You know this whole virus thing is just a conspiracy and Liam is using it to control all of us, right? He’s gone mad. This shit’s never gonna end.”

“I understand, sir.” The guard waited patiently as Drake begrudgingly slipped the mask over his face. “Perhaps, though, there is an alternative, one where you wouldn’t have to wear one anymore. They’re offering free vaccines in room 105 today. If you get the shot, you won’t need to wear a mask when you come inside,” the guard cajoled.

Drake let out a humorless laugh.“I’m sure that’s exactly what Liam wants: make a guinea pig out of me. Pump me full of that radioactive shit and in five years I’ll have a tail growing out of my face. No thanks.” Drake disregarded the information and moved past the man.

“But, sir .. .they’re giving away bottles of whiskey to the first 100 recipients. Last I heard, they were close to reaching that number. Top of the line stuff too.”

Drake turned on the heel of his work boots, glaring back, before asking skeptically. “Whiskey? They’re giving away alcohol to get this damn shot?” The guard nodded in response.

“Glenfiddich -- 1955, I believe. The King paid for it himself.”

Drake’s eyes widened in disbelief. “That’s a $90,000 bottle! And they’re just giving them away if you get this shot?”

“I … um … yes. His Majesty wants to reward those who are doing their part to create a healthier and safer Cordonia. He won’t rest until every last citizen is vaccinated from this dreaded virus. We can all fight this … together. What do you say, Mr. Walker? Will you help stop the spread?”

“For a $90,000 bottle of whiskey? Hell yeah! I’ll grow two tails out my heads for -- hold on a damn minute …” Drake burrowed his eyes into the guard who was sweating bullets, desperate for him to leave. “Where the hell is Nikolas at? This whole thing reeks of him..” Drake’s eyes began darting around the perimeter in a feverish search for the little prince’s battery operated car. “That little shit is blackmailing you, isn’t he? I should have known.”

The guard straightened and answered in a solemn tone, “I’m a serious professional, Mr. Walker. And I take your accusations of being anything but, demeaning to the loyalty and oath I’ve given to the Crown. How dare you stand there --”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise.” Drake ran a hand down his weary face in frustration. “It’s just that kid is the bane of my existence. I’ve had a long, hard day at work and I’m in no mood for his fucking stunts.”

The guard waved him off. “Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ve heard all about the stuff he’s pulled on you.” He leaned in closer and spoke in a hushed tone, “Between you and me, he’s a little pain in my ass too; always coming down here acting like he runs this place. If you ever need help teaching that kid a lesson, I’d be happy to help.”

Drake arched a brow. “Loyalty to the crown, huh?” The man regarded that retort with an awkward shrug. “Yeah, he needs his ass busted, that’s for sure. Liam thinks he just needs a little more love. I’d like to show him the Bianca F. Walker way of love.” He slammed his hands together.

The guard chuckled. “I’m with you on that. He needs something done; he’s out of control … Anyway, you should probably head on up there and get your shot -- and whiskey -- before they’re all out. I wish I’d have waited to get mine until today.”

Twisting his face in doubt, Drake walked around the corner and leaned up against the wall as he pulled out his phone. Something just didn’t feel right, and he determined the safest thing to do was shoot off a quick text to his best friend.

Drake: Liam, are you really giving away Glenfiddich, 1955, to get the Covid vaccine?

He waited a brief moment until a response came through; he looked down at his phone and read:

Liam: Yes.

Drake: Is that all you have to say about that?

Liam: Yes.

Liam: I am in meeting for Cordonia.

Drake tilted his head to the side and scratched at it as he stared at the odd message. He typed out another response.

Drake: What kind of meeting for Cordonia? And with who?

Liam: Top secret. Can't tell you.

Drake: Uh-huh. Where’s Nikolas?

Liam: With Riley and baby in Vallteria

Liam: Shit. Valtoria

Drake: What’s the capital of the United States?

Liam: Damn it Drake I’m in a meeting!

Drake: Then hurry up and answer

Liam: Washington D.C.

Drake: Who shot me at the costume ball?

Liam: You son of a bitch. IM IN A MEETING!

Drake let out a heavy groan and decided to just call Riley. He knew without a doubt Nikolas took Liam’s phone again. If he called Riley, though, there was no way the boy could pretend he was her.

Picking up almost instantly, Riley answered cheerfully, “Hello. Queen Riley speaking.”

“Riley, it’s Drake. I was just wondering if you and Liam were really giving away whiskey for getting this shot? Sounds a little fishy to me.”

There was a moment of silence, then a clicking noise, followed by a long beep, before Riley replied. “Yes. We. Are. Giving. Away …. Whiskey. Get.The.Shot.Drake.”

“The hell is wrong with your voice?”

“I.Am.In.Valtoria.”

“Riley, why the fuck are you enunciating every word?”

“I. Have. A. Cold. And. Must.Talk.Slow. Nikolas.Is.With.Me. And. I. Must. Get ... Going. Bye. Drake ...You. Ass. Hole.” 

Drake rolled his eyes and slipped the phone in his back pocket. “He’s got her phone, too. Damn that evil-ass kid.” He hesitantly made his way down to room 105; it wouldn’t hurt anything just to open the door and see if there was anything legit about this. As he approached, a lovely lady he knew from the kitchen exited with a big smile on her aging face and a bottle she cradled in her arms; he recognized it almost instantly as the Glenfiddich.

“Miss Milly,” Drake greeting kindly and held the door open for her. “You’re looking as lovely as ever.”

“Oh, you.” She laughed bashfully in her grandmotherly voice as she stepped into the corridor. “You’re always flirting with me, Drake. One of these days, I’m going to make you take me out on a date, buy me dinner, and give me a peck on the cheek at the end of the night.” 

Drake smiled back fondly at her. “You just tell me when, Miss Milly, and I’m there.” He motioned to the bottle in her hand. “Say … couldn’t help but notice that bottle of whiskey you’re carrying around; where’d you get that at? That brand doesn’t come cheap.”

“Ohhh, I know. But I heard they were giving shots in that room right there.” She pointed with a crooked finger. “And they said I was the 99th person to stop by, and gave this to me after getting my shot. I couldn’t believe my luck. And they only have one bottle left. I can finally put my grandson through college.” 

“That’s great! And you said there is still one more bottle left?”

She nodded her head. “Yes. But you better hurry. One of the chefs is on his way here for a shot as well.”

Drake hurriedly kissed her on the cheek and opened the door. Thank you, Miss Milly!” He stepped inside, then stopped and whipped his head back out the door. “Milly, wait. Have you seen Prince Nikolas today?”

“Yes, he left with the Queen after breakfast this morning. I believe they mentioned going to Valtoria.”

Drake rubbed his hands together anxiously and thanked her. He’d known the cook for years, she’s the sweetest person he knew. There was no way she would cover for Nikolas, and Drake couldn’t imagine the boy would have any dirt to hold over her head.

When the door shut, Nikolas grinned mischievously from a dark alcove where he was parked in his black 12V Mercedes Benz S63. “This is the day I’ve been waiting for.”

He set his laptop and both parents' phones in the passenger seat and slowly pulled out. He paid $100 to Milly and asked her to put the bottle back in his father’s liquor cabinet and rolled a few paces to room 105.

======

After filling out medical forms, the palace doctor ushered Drake behind a curtain where a long rectangular table and folding chair sat. Taking the seat, Drake watched the doctor slip on a pair of gloves and pull a small tube of lube out of his lab coat pocket. Drake furrowed his brows in confusion. “Heh. What’s the lube for?” he chuckled lightly. “I’m just here for a shot, man. Nothing else is going in me.”

“Just relax, Mr. Walker. It’s all part of the process.” A squirt of clear liquid was squeezed onto the doctor's two gloved fingers as he held them up. “On your medical forms you denied having a physical exam in the past year. I just need to do a quick exam and check for rectal polyps.”

Drake started laughing in amusement, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’ve got to be shittin' me. So let me get this straight. I can’t get a shot until you stick your fingers in my ass to check for ‘polyps?’ Yeah, that’s happening. What a bunch of horse malarky.”

The doctor let out an annoyed huff. “I see you didn’t read over the information forms. They never do,’ he mumbled. “Look, if you want me to wait here all day while you figure out what to do, I can’t -- I have a deadline to finish here. Now if you’ll move along, I have another patient waiting; you’re free to go.”

And Drake knew he was. But that expensive bottle of Glenfiddich was calling his name. He glanced over to that one last beautiful bottle sitting atop a desk on the far side of the room, calling his name. Selling it for even half of what it was worth would afford him enough to move the hell out of the palace and get the freedom from Nik he desired. Rubbing a hand over the scruff on his chin, Drake's timid gaze turned from the bottle to the doctor. He could handle a finger or two in ass for a few seconds if t made him $90,000 richer. 

“Okay. What do I need to do?”

Nikolas quietly typed on the keyboard of his laptop from the opposite side of the curtain. The images from the hidden cameras plastered on the wall where Drake was seated popped into view on his screen. Feeding a link to, and overriding the broadcast feed at the CBC, Nik crouched down low and waited with little beady eyes for the exam to begin. “Perfect ...Okay, Doc, let’s see if you can get a hole in one.”

----------

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[sexyassphan]

Rosey Smiles against Peach Carnations // Chapter One

A fun peice for the Phandom Reverse Bang! It’s been a bumpy road but I have honestly loved the experience to kickstart me back into writing. 

Thanks to @rainbowchristy for doing an amazing job Beta-ing for me, couldnt have asked for better!

Make sure to check out @jorzuela who is such a talented artist! Check out their art here!

Dan was stressed, actually not just stressed, exasperated. He could feel the anger bubbling upside him, the sweat dripping down his forehead and practically the steam billowing out of his ears as he ran down the London road. Clutching a ready-to-explode binder in one hand and his phone in the other as he placed one foot before another along the stoned pathway. 

Why couldn’t this happen to anyone else?

He glanced down at his phone to triple-check the address as he slowed down to catch his breath, he wasn't particularly athletic but this was an emergency. The anger bubbling up inside him was being let out in his thoughts, bouncing back and forth but always coming to the same conclusion.

How hard is it to follow a deadline and sort out some god-damn flowers?

The rational part of his brain knew that it wasn't as easy as that. At that point, if someone told him being a wedding planner was easy then he'd probably punch them in the face, to be quite frank. A situation like the one he was currently in would prove them extremely wrong; it was one of the reasons Dan vowed to never get married himself.

As he wiped the beading sweat from his clammy forehead, he peered down the street. The shop that caught his eye looked like an exploding rainbow of colours in the abundance of monotonous buildings it sat between.

As he approached the obnoxiously colourful building, more details came into view. There were so many details, in fact, he couldn't help but stop his rushing train of thought for just a moment to take in the scene that lay before him. His eyes bounced from pots full of daisies to the bushels of roses that lay carefully propped against the contrasting stone background. The stone itself had to stand out too, of course, with the green ivy dancing up the walls and slithering into the thin cracks of the withered building. Everything in the building was so blindingly vibrant and packed with colour it almost made Dan feel he was looking in an alternate world when looking elsewhere on the raggedy-pathed road. He slowly reached towards the door, being cautious as if a single wrong move could shatter the imagery that surrounded him. 

The cold metal of the handle pulled him out of his wonder; it felt so harsh compared to the warm feeling that was radiating around him. Dan coughed slightly, clearing his throat, before he gathered his thoughts as he pushed open the wooden frame.

If he thought the outside was marvelling, then he was in for a shock when he saw the interior; he never thought colours could be so… colourful. His eyes bounced around his head, darting from side to side and soaking in every aspect of the magical world his eyes fell upon.

A man whose complexion was so void of colour itself it was like putting chalk on a blackboard caught Dan by surprise, his slender hands delicately arranging some Orchids in a burgundy pot. The man stopped momentarily and turned towards Dan.

His blue eyes seemed to stand out more than any of the hydrangeas, bellflowers or delphiniums that were scattered around the store. A river of ink-like hair fell across his forehead, sticking out in odd places and forming a peculiar, controlled mess.

“Hey there, how can I help you today?” the man spoke, the words flowing eloquently from his plump, peach lips as he lifted up the now filled pot and placed it gently on the shelf behind him.

The northern twinge in his voice caught Dan by surprise and helped Dan snap out of his world of wonders, pretty flowers and even prettier boys.

“Oh, Hi!” Dan coughed out, trying to formulate at least a semi-coherent sentence. “I’m Dan Howell from DJH Weddings.”

The mysterious man smiled, one that seems to outshine any of the sunflowers that were perched around the shop.

“I’m Phil! Nice to meet you. I’m assuming you’re needing to book for a wedding?” He asked gently. “When’s the big day? We’re happy to accommodate!”

"I, um, thanks," Dan stuttered, suddenly flustered. "It's… next week, the 24th".

Dan reached his arm up and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he watched the man’s eyes widen at the short timeframe.

"The 24th? Blooming heck, usually people book months in advance. Wedding planners usually go a year in advance!" Phil stressed, reaching around and grabbing a green leather journal that was visibly well-used, covered in splotches of dirt and crumpled corners.

"Trust me, I know," Dan stressed, feeling his cheeks start to warm up over the mild embarrassment and stress of the situation. "I've been in the business 7 years, I know how to plan some flowers. My original arrangement was cancelled today.”

The man's eyes seemed to soften with a hint of pity. Surely if anyone understood the hidden stress behind flower arrangements it would be him.

“Just, please,” Dan begged, ever so slightly emphasising ‘please’ to express the amount of need he had for this. “If you can fit me in, brilliant. If you can't, then I'll have to find somewhere else.”

Phil’s brow furrowed slightly as he opened the rather abused journal that lay before him, he didn’t reply but instead engrossed himself with flipping his slender fingers through the crumpled pages. Mindlessly, he reached over to his left without even a glance and picked up a pencil that was laid along the wooden bench.

Dan watched as he fiddled with the pencil, spinning it around between his fingers and making odd little notes in the journal, before slowly sighing and looking up at Dan.

“I can make it work.”

[jouyasha]

Mikey getting to go back in time and change something bad that happened in their past with Vixxy. 🙂

I tend to the graves as I am the only one left. Everything I once new is but a sweet dream as i am forced to relive my hell over and over again. Why was I chosen to do this? Becouse I am the only one left.

i make my way to the old lair and lay where a bed once laid. Setting my watch as I drift asleep.

I wake up and there is her sweet face "vixxy" I hold her tight knowing it wont last but Im going to do everything to stop that from happening.

"Aww mikey" she nuzzled back. I took a deep breath smelling her scent for a moment as I kew i was on a deadline.

"Go get something to eat and ill see ya in a bit" i wink quickly running off to donnies lab

"D I need this" I grabbed his note book writhting out the skimatics and directions for my watch. As im wrighting i say exactly what he's saying

" dammit Mikey i dont have time for this. Dont mock me. Stop it. Ignoramus testudines. How...?" As he stoped I continued with "please D i need this i cant explain but please do it"

"Fine" Donnie sighed looking at the paper "how? Why? Wait mikey i have more questions"

"No time bro."

I joined vixxy for breakfast. I send out a mass text to everyone i know telling them to meet us in the abandoned warehouse we sometimes meet up within the hour.

As they arive some just look annoyed as they keep asking me what this is about. I yell them to be paitent. As Donnie arrives i get the watch and put it on.

"Listen guys i know this sounds unbelevable but I have relived this day many times and it always ends the same. At 6 theres going to be an atack all over the world and most of you wont survive. Im telling you all to prepare for the end but dont go down without a fight."

Theres an uproar of questions and people not beleving me as I prove it

"Shreadder and the foot will walk in in... 7 6 5 4 3 2 now" he points to the door "aint got time for your shit as they are entangled in a trap i set.

"Now listen i want to save you all but i cant without your help"

I grab vixxys hand "i cant loose you again" but it was too late sniper shot her wasnt expecting that out come "noooo" i yell my allies scatter. I watch as one by one they are killed what had i done wrong this time? I make my way to the lair set the watch and try again.

Morning comes i hold vixxy close wanting to cry she dies in my arms so many times its getting harder to wake to her smiling face.

I have D make the watch get it from him and i just try to save her shes all that matters right now. "I know this sounds weird but put this on" i hand her a bullet proof vest and a hooded jacket and pants. I too put on the same as i steal the keys to the party wagon and leave never looking back she had to be protected. But my driving sucked and I crashed running us off the bridge into the fridged water below she didnt make it and i was banged up pretty badly. I pulled myself out of the water and made my way home setting the watch and going to bed.

Next day after holding vixxy i did the thing with donnie but asked him more questions trying to learn of it was possable to go back more than just one day. After some calculations he found he couldnt do it for more than a day without working on it for months. "Try" I tell him as we work together i relearn the skimatics for the new modle.

After what seamed like months of working it out still loosing everyone every time we had done it. This time hopefully the last time i give D the new skimatics and hes able to make the watch. I try going back a week at first we are all prepared but i cant save them. I try months and eventually years but always on that day no mater how prepared I am I always loose her.

Finally i try one last thing the night we met i dont go save her it brakes my heart. But i live out my life without her. We meet later in life she dates raph she seams so different her sweetnees was now a ruff attitude. But the day comes and i cant save them.

One last a few months before giving D time to creat enough watches for all of us. The morning of the day comes were all prepared but this time it was diffrent i die this time.

Waking up next to vixxy whats going on "i couldnt save all of you" she said holding my left hand.

"I did what i could but i had to amputate it" d said

As i sat up i realized my right arm is gone. "What day is it did we make it?"

"Kinda i had to go back and find a way to save us both luckily i had D with me but you doing that alone so many times for me i..i" vixxy cried and hugged me i held her back also crying "we made it."

[iceamericanoventi]

Love Will Find a Way, Well, Eventually : 2. In Between

“Where are you going?”

If it was inside Cartoon Network’s universe, everyone must be able to see the smoke fuming from both his nostrils and ears. Jinki looks beyond distressed when he’s lifting his ass from the chair. No one on the table was his partner, but Minho decided to throw some ridiculous question then played dumb as if he didn’t just ask one.

“Should I have number one here?”

He started getting irked, but that doesn’t stay long until Kibum casually munched his breadstick while spluttering his witty comments as usual, “Surely Taemin would be delightful.”

Taemin who didn’t do anything almost chocked himself with a piece of tomato and kicked Kibum’s shin under the table, eventually.

“Promise me you won’t run away?”

Dumbfounded, Jinki emptied his pocket and almost smashed the table with his belonging.

“Are you my husband? Here’s my wallet. And my phone!” and with that, he left the other three men finishing their meal.

“Is he always in this temper?”

Lee Taemin gave him another look, pleading him not to embarrass them further, but Kibum just shrugged and muttered ‘I’m just asking’ under his nose.

“He was mad with me since this afternoon. Plus, he has lots of stuffs to think about these days. But don’t worry, he never really got mad unless you disturb his nap.”

“What is he? A bear?”

“Yaa! Kim Kibum!”

Minho couldn’t help but laugh to the scene happened before his eyes. Taemin is famous for being friendly and very expressive only if you know him, even if he’s talkative. To penetrate his bubble is very hard at first, but this man sitting across him, he seems like he’s already inside that bubble since the very beginning. He really is someone closed to him. Kibum looks mesmerizing, even in his grumbling nature. The oversize sweater wrapped his lithe build perfectly.

A phone call arrived to Kibum's phone, he picked it up frantically and excused himself to take it outside.

"What do you think?"

“Eh?” Minho doesn’t even realized he got his eyes entailed Kibum’s silhouette until it disappear by the entrance door.

“You seemed in trance. I know Kibum is beautiful but I didn’t expect you’ll be this amazed with my friend,” Taemin’s sipping his wine, a smirk is very apparent in his devious face. 

“I guess it’s safe to say that you’re not a liar.”

Minho reopened his mouth few minutes after he’s assured that Kibum’s not going back any soon. Taemin is not ecstatic, sometimes he wondered if Minho has a decent sense of humor of a friend.

“For your information, I’m not and never been. I’m the most honest person you’ve ever encountered in your life.”

“Everyone in this room knows that’s not true.”

“Whatever. I might know my ways deceiving people, but I never lie to my friend.”

 “Did you just admit that you’re lying here and there, Lee Taemin?”

Taemin rolls his eyes, again, probably for the nth times already this evening. Without Jinki around, he can be more relaxed on throwing his tantrum on Minho.

“Choi Minho, people lies at some certain points of their life. Get over it.”

He gulped down the rest of his wine, Taemin then called a waiter near them to bring him another one.

“Kibum seems nice. He sounds smart.”

“Sounds? Did you even listen to yourself? No writer is not smart, Choi. Moreover, someone who’s been writing the past decade!”

“I only know him for one night. Who knows he’s just acting?”

“Dude, not everyone is an asshole like you.”

“An asshole wouldn’t agree to bring his best friend along in front of a psychopath like you.”

Taemin snorted and Minho’s smirk reappeared on his face.

“That is literally what a psycho would do, selling their friend for their own benefits.”

Minho wiped his mouth before washed down the dinner with cold water, “And that’s exactly what Jinki accused me for. You two shared a brain or what?”

“Any sane people would say the same, Honey,” this time Taemin’s smirk that made the other scoffed, “By the way, what’s the deal with Jinki? He looks like he’s been sitting on thorny cushion the whole dinner!”

Minho knows Taemin would ask such question eventually. However, he couldn’t say that Jinki hates the whole dinner date plan, it’s impossible. Besides that, knowing him for years, Jinki really is an angel in disguise, well, at least when he’s in the mood.

“People have different, what should I say, defense mechanism? And that’s how he is. What kind of person who talked nonstop during their first meeting, anyway?”

“Oh, I don’t know, me?”

“That’s why you’re a freak.”

“A freak who introduced you to your potentially next boyfriend.”

“Ha. Point taken,” Minho raised his hand to ask for the dessert, “Jinki is just not the type of person who will talk a lot and open up in a second. But I guarantee you, he’s a good person. Sometimes a little bit care too much for other at certain time so probably being brazen is his forte.”

“That reminds me of someone.”

Taemin and Kibum spent their high school days together. Separated for some years due to works and educations, their relationship’s all well maintained. They understand each other, including Kibum’s nature to always put others before him at any given situation.

“Appearance wise, though, what do you think about Jinki?”

“Choi Minho, I’m not a teenager anymore. Judging people around by its cover is no longer my habit.”

“But a designer like you must love a beautiful package, don’t they?”

“Well, to be honest, his lips and eyes itself could get me floored in one glance.”

“I knew it.”

“You’re a famous photographer for a reason.”

***

Cold wind slapped Kibum’s cheeks lightly when he pushed the door and parched to the corner near the valet post.

“Okay, now you can speak. Sorry, I don’t know why the reception wasn’t good enough inside.”

“Then I’ll be frankly here. There’s a possibility for making the special edition for the short story collection. But then, we’re still short of two stories at the moment.”

“Wait, wait, but we already have nine! I finished writing nine! Why should I add another two?”

“The publisher agreed to the preposition for at least twelve stories. You should be grateful I could pitch one less story!”

Kibum looks like he’s about to punch anyone passed within radius one meter around him, but nothing in reach besides a huge pot of short palm tree and concrete wall. And he needs his hand to finish his books still.

“But, Amber. Page wise, those are more than enough to make two new books. Are they out of their mind?”

There’s a loud groan banging on his ear drum came from the other line, “Dude, I almost flipped the table when I was at the meeting you have no idea. The board has new man and that guy is a pain in the ass.”

“Would it change the circumstance if I talked to them by myself?”

“Since when do they have time to talk to the writer directly? We’re head to head with bunch of snobs here, did you forget?”

“I should had not agree to let them touched my writings. Now we’re about to face dead end.”

It was a dream to work along this publisher. It was Kibum’s dream since he started writing when he took gap year after graduated high school. And as if it’s a fate, it was the only publisher agreed with his graphic novel concept five years he climbed his career professionally.

“Listen, Kibum. When I met you years ago, I promised I’ll work my ass hard to help you publishing your books. Not because I knew you, it’s because you’re good. You’re amazing writer and I’m not giving up easily. And neither you. Not when anybody can tell that you’re a gem.”

“I haven’t written any book since last year, Amber. I’m in a slump. Writer’s block is not even describing my bad luck at the moment.”

“Honey, you haven’t written any because you’re currently waiting two books released. And if I could do my magic, another one in, let’s say, six months.”

“If I could make up some words into another story within two weeks. If you could convince them to give me mercy.”

“Did you just know me yesterday?”

Kibum’s tired giving sane response, “What do you mean?”

“I’m waiting their secretary to call me in ten minutes. We’re going to discuss some new deals and I’ll make sure one of them is going to be your new nine stories book.”

“I actually have no idea if I don’t have you as my editor slash manager slash friend slash personal ranting partner slash whatever you want to be.”

“Rockstar. That would be cool.”

“You’re going to be a kick ass one to be honest.”

“I bet. Anyway, expect another call from me in the next couple hours. I’m sorry, but tonight we might need video call to resolve some issues.”

“I hate you for confiscating my time but you’re the best.”

“As always, ain’t I?”

The phone call ends already, but he still forlornly looking at his phone’s screen. With that, Kibum remembers all the works he needs to catch up for tonight. With that, he can put aside all the unnecessary anxiety and tension of tonight’s stupid match making session.

He took a glance of his watch and could only sighed, he better hurried inside to his dessert. The faster he finished, the sooner he can hit home and face the real deal. His deadlines.

Two steps away from the entrance however, he caught a familiar face sitting by themselves, staring to the busy street in front of the restaurant.

“Jinki?” he carefully calling the man, “Lee Jinki, right?”

The later tilted his head to the right and gave Kibum a simple smile, didn’t realize it dropped Kibum’s heart by the bottom of his gut.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Everyone would agree this winter is even harsher than last year’s. Jinki just lifted his left hand to make sure Kibum saw a cigarette slipped between his fingers, “Can I sit here?”

Jinki chuckles, “Aren’t you cold?”

Listening to the same question he threw a minute ago, he just rolled his eyes and took a place next to the other man.

“I’m waiting a phone call.”

“Important?”

“Kinda.”

Jinki blew some smoke out, “Hmm, I guess so. You sounded pretty upset over there.”

“Did I scream that loud?!”

“In my opinion? No. but a girl flinched and buzzed off rather hastily, so, you tell me.”

When he saw Kibum’s gaping like a fish in frantic expression, Jinki has no choices beside laughed again, surprising Kibum who’s quite convinced with his aloof personalities.

“I didn’t know you have so many jokes in store.”

“You learn something new every day.”

“Your face doesn’t show.”

“What about my face?”

“It’s handsome but with that attitude inside, seems like you’re the type who woke up at the wrong side of the bed every single morning and could kill someone annoys you at any time.”

“Well, to be fair, I did wake up in the wrong side of my bed this morning. But it’s because a certain dog occupied half of my blanket so I couldn’t disturb her.”

“You have a dog?!”

Kibum’s face lit up thousand times as if he just won some lottery. Strangely, it warms Jinki’s heart. No, scratch that, it would warm any heart, Jinki tried to generalize the situation.

“I don’t, unfortunately. She belongs to my friend. I’m taking care of her while he’s travelling abroad. Her father will pick her up this weekend.”

“Ah, too bad. We could have play date with my boys.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a call when I decided to adopt one later.”

“Do you think my invitation hasn’t expired yet by that time?”

“A man can only dream, can’t he?”

Kibum’s laughter is muffled by his own palm covering his mouth.

“Let’s go inside, you must be shivering.”

“But your cigarette?”

Kibum’s half stuttered caught red handed, Jinki already pressed the half-done cigarette on the sand bowl on his left, “I can always have another one at home. Besides, I doubt you would go inside without me dragging you along.”

Kibum thanked the universe that the place is not well lit, so he could hide the blush creeping his cheeks. Unfortunately, Jinki has a very good eye sight.

***

“Is my baby being a good girl when daddy’s away?”

Jinki scoffed when the man just entered his living room just literally threw his suitcase aside and scooped the little dachshund running toward his embrace. He gathered the suitcase and poor leather bag on the floor and placed it neatly near the saffron color couch.

The man later dropped himself next to Jinki who’s lounged himself there, checking his phone halfheartedly.

“Minho texted me the other day.”

“Why did he keep texting you?”

The man with dark grey hair didn’t catch the frown hanging on Jinki’s face and buried his face to the dog’s belly, making him groaned again. He lightly pushed the dog further and toppled his head on the other man’s laps.

The dog owner realized something’s happened when he’s not around. He put the dog on the ground and tapped her butt to send her back to her small bed near the pantry.

“Minho has my number and I have his name in my contact list. He can text me whenever he wants. Still jealous?”

Jinki closed his eyes when he started playing with his hair, “He’s still one of the reasons we broke up.”

“Baby, the only reason we broke up is because neither of us didn’t want to succumb into marriage. Minho was just a handsome face happened on the wrong time.”

“I have no idea why I still befriend him when it’s clear he wanted to shove his face to yours, all the damn time.”

“And I have no idea that you’re this type who holds the grudge for a long time. We were already out of relationship back then.”

“Still, a friend wouldn’t openly chase after their friend’s ex.”

“A friend wouldn’t, but a best friend would.”

“Whatever.”

He almost lost his control and slapped Jinki’s head of him, “Oh, come on. What’s bothering you this time?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. It’s written all over your face the second I saw you behind the door. And I’m pretty sure it’s not because my daughter misbehaved while I’m on my annual pediatric conference.”

Jinki sighed, nothing he could really hide it from the other man. Since they were in their almost five years relationship, since they became best friends around three years prior.

“Minho invited me for a dinner night.”

“Wow, fancy,” actually Minho already texted him about the dinner a bit, how he wanted to introduce Jinki to some acquaintance he has, “He gave up on me so he went for the only option?”

“For the record, your mom agreed that I’m way much sexier than you.”

“Three years ago, before your cheek bones buried under those mount of fluffy fat.”

“Said a man who came to me and straight ahead told me I looked cute after leaving a piece of paper with their number on my table.”

“I will put aside the fact that I love how romantic you’re for still remembering our first meeting but let’s back to the right path here because I don’t like the upset you. It’s fucking annoying.”

“He introduced me to someone, Jonghyun.”

He let out inaudible gasp and thanked the universe Jinki’s still closing his eyes. Otherwise, he would stop at once and avoided any discussion of the main reason which distressed his ex-boyfriend. Knowing the scenario before hands didn’t prevent him with the sheer pain graze him when it came from Jinki’s mouth himself.

“So? Isn’t that great? Do you think it’s about time?”

“I was about to argue that two years are still not enough to get over you but I guess you’re not in the same page with me so I’d say that I’m not interested into some relationship whatsoever at this point.”

Jonghyun wanted to cry listening to such words. His heart clenched, he inhaled – a very long one – before he continued caressing Jinki’s forehead.

“I am flattered, but I know you’re just teasing me.”

“Ha, you know me so well.”

“I’m not gonna fall on the same hole, Lee.”

“You won’t. You’re too smart to repeat the torture on the loop.”

“It wasn’t a torture, Jinki. I love you as much as you do. Or maybe just slightly more.”

“Not a chance. I love you more.”

“Stop it or I will kiss you.”

“I dare you.”

“I told you I’m not gonna fall on the same hole.”

“Smart, very smart,” Jinki opened his eyes only to find Jonghyun sticking his tongue out, “Okay, so at first, I don’t like the idea already. You know I hate any type of match making method. Even the online one. But being there, I realized that my current focus doesn’t involved other party besides me, my business, and—“

“And your grandfather?”

Jinki looks annoyed, “Remind me to add ‘always-cutting-people-sentence’ on the list of reasons why I broke up with you when I’m writing my journal tonight.”

“It’s true. I think he was also the cock blocker during our relationship back then.”

“Dude, we’re talking about my gramps. And to put him on the same category with Minho is beyond weird.”

“We already broke up when Minho made his move, for Pete’s sake!”

“Okay, okay! No need to raise your voice, you’re so scary when you’re angry.”

“Then don’t make me! Now, now, can you please be a normal human being so we can talk like adults for once?”

Jinki pulled himself from the couch to the pantry, snatching a pack of cigarette on the tea table before slipped one on the corner of his mouth.

“Can you not smoking inside?”

He snorted and padded to the direction of his balcony. It’s in the middle of winter but he doesn’t care a bit to the wind ready to slaughter his bones. If tomorrow the cold prevented him to leave the bed, then let it be. For once, he just wants to free his mind from the business.

“You need to remember that I can only treat patient on certain age,” Jonghyun followed few minutes after with a blanket he spread as wide as possible to cover both of them without feeling suffocated for standing too close.

“The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends people be under pediatric care up to the age of 21, though.”

“Did you just quote Wikipedia? And we’re not in fucking States! Above and beyond, shame on your wrinkles!”

“Rude.”

“You’re the rude one to your lungs!”

“Then tell me how to ease my mind without nicotine! Tell me how to forget all those troubled night and just sleep! Do you think it’s easy taking care of worrisome business and messy family without distraction?! Stop talking non sense if you do know how to save my days!”

Any word seems taboo once Jinki exploded. Both man just staring into the dark evening below Jinki’s unit. People paraded as quickly as possible on the street to fight the harsh weather. It’s not that late, but only few cars passed by. The dim light of the street lamp’s soothing the tense atmosphere in a way.

Jonghyun leaned closer to Jinki’s arm and rested his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with that.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” 

“You know that you can always talk to me right?”

“I’m tired bothering you. You already have a lot in your hands.”

“Besides my patients and Roo, there’s nothing really confiscated my time.”

Having someone like Jonghyun who would stand next to him, scold him then hug him right after, no matter how awful he behaved and treated the other man, Jinki every so often thinking what kind of good deeds he did in his previous life.

Jinki cocked his head, inhaling the trace of scent of Jonghyun’s favorite shampoo. Initially, he was about to kiss the top of his head, like he used to do when the other man leaned on him for whatever reason it was. He remember, though, the earlier period after their broke up – after settling their feelings for few months of course – the shorter man told him not to do that anymore because it was the doctor’s Achilles heel. So instead, he rubs his cheek over the thick hair, silently telling Jonghyun he’s sorry.

Some nights – especially right after that dinner date – he had thought, maybe one of the reason he reprimands Minho’s idea is just because he still has tiny hope that Jonghyun and him might had another chance in the future.

“From time to time, I was thinking that the more day passed, we’re closer to the image of friends with benefit.”

“Friends with benefit? Tsk,” Jonghyun slapped his forearm, “The only benefit I got from you is you’re the only perfect nanny for Roo when I’m away.”

“Those cups of coffee every single time you stopped by my shop?”

“Pfft. How stingy. I’m leaving.”

“Heartless.”

Jonghyun didn’t say anything more and returned inside to gather his things and called Roo. He desperately needs some hot shower. Somewhere inside him, he was expecting Jinki offering him to stay the night knowing how caring the man and the fact Jinki knows he bolted to the other’s apartment right away after landed.  

When Jinki handed him the leash, that hope vanished in second.

“What if later I really considered this person? Or any other person collided with me on the future?”

Jonghyun smiled, he looks tired, but very sincere, “Then good.”

“Because I’m not gonna bother you anymore?”

“No. Because you’ll have someone to share the happiness with.”

***

cross-posted in my AFF

[glowstickhaloboy]

klance roommates au

usual disclaimer: its long as hell

keith is the newly hired, up-and-coming sales rep of his office job. hes fresh out of college, determined, and as awkward as he is in real life, he knows how to make a sale because its all scripted. his boss, doris, a wrinkly old lady who brings in cookies for the office at the end of every month, adores this strapping young man with a real work ethic.

his brother, shiro, is an ethics professor at the local university, Bullshit University (BU). while shiro is glad that keith is doing really well in life for this age, he has this annoying habit of constantly asking keith if hes alright, or if he needs anything, or if theres anything he feels like he wants to do to make himself better. keith always says no.

BU has a bs program called Apprenticeship, wherein a student will be mentored/sponsored by a professor, and the ethics department is head of the program, so shiro also hand picks his own apprentice and its a Big Deal and there are so many kids who apply for it not only because professor shirogane is hot as balls, but because this program gives out credits like candy. this semester’s lucky apprentice is none other than lance mcclain.

lance, if you ask him, will say that this all went completely according to plan and he never once doubted that shiro would pick him. on the inside, he is in an eternal state of wtf wtf wtf wtf how did i do this??!?!?!!!

keith knows that this is something shiro does because shiro likes to update keith on his life, so he’ll call and they’ll chat for a while and usually there will be some mention of an apprentice and whats going on with their studies. as the school year comes to an end, keith obligingly asks shiro who his chosen apprentice is for the upcoming year.

the line goes quiet.

“shiro? did i lose you?”

“no, im still here.”

more silence.

keith says, “what is it.”

“i have a small favor to ask of you.”

lance, if you asked him, would say that his interview with shiro went very well. he would say that he had shiro eating out of the palm of his hand. in reality, there was a lot more crying about money and family matters and anxiety for the future, and when shiro offered lance a tissue lance mistakenly grabbed shiro’s tie and blew his nose into it. two weeks later, he was asked to submit a final letter of intent, which he almost didn’t do because he was too embarrassed, then stayed up all night before the deadline because he couldnt not take a shot at it.

the problem with an apprenticeship position was that it was not like a residency staff position, wherein lance could live on campus without being charged a room & board fee, and he could not be both a part of residency staff and an apprentice. (the residency staff made his decision easy by rejecting his application, but still, it was a bummer.) that being said, lance had absolutely no money to stay on campus next year, and he could not commute because he lived four hours away from the school.

keiths apartment, shiro had not failed to notice, was a convenient 32 and a half minutes from the campus.

“you want me to what?” keith asks shiro, paling, staring into his categorized fridge. he knows where everything is. he decides where everything is. he is not sharing his living space with some kid.

“hes not some kid,” says shiro. “hes 20 years old and he needs this. i really want to make this opportunity work for him, but the school wont let him stay with me. please, keith. i think this would be good for both of you.”

“what is that supposed to mean?”

“can you honestly tell me that you arent lonely all by yourself?”

“no, im not. im comfortable and in control of my own life. i dont want one of your projects from the projects ruining everything ive worked to get, and i think its bull-headed of you to assume that you know whats best for me, like you always try to do, and i think its rude of you to invite someone to live in my apartment.” 

“he likes mus-”

keith hangs up on shiro mid-word, fumes for a few hours as he gets some work done and eats dinner, then goes to sleep.

the next day, keith feels guilty, sure, but he stands by what he said. shiro would call him in a few days and initiate the apology, and they would both put it behind them without mentioning it again. until then, he would throw himself into his work and pretend that everything was fine.

at 6pm, doris knocks on the side of his cubicle, smiling down on him in all her wrinkly glory. shes 60 going on 80 with graying hair and a cozy southern drawl. “darling, why are you still sitting at that desk? its a friday night. youre young, youre cute, you must have a sweetheart you wanna spend it with, or some friends at least.”

keith smiles politely. “thats alright, doris. id rather work, honestly.”

“you sure, honey? i admire a good worker, but if youre working good for the wrong reasons, thats nothing to be proud of. dont you have a nice girl to go home to?”

keith isnt even going to touch the last part of that statement because he doesnt know doris’s political views and doesnt have the time nor patience for a lecture from her in case her warm hospitality is all a condition of keiths being a Model Young Man. he grimaces and says, “no, i dont. and if i did have someone to go home to, it wouldnt be the start of a night going out on the town, it would be someone to have a relaxing night in with.”

“that sounds nice,” says doris, with a minor suggestion behind it that keith should get his coat and get the hell out of here.

“but id really prefer to work,” insists keith. doris clicks her tongue and tells him to suit himself.

meanwhile, lance is panicking. here he has this amazing opportunity, and no way to make it happen. hunk, allura, and pidge all live on campus, apartments nearby are way too expensive, and nobody on the forums is responding to his roommate pleas. he has made it clear that he will take literally anything, and still, no bites.

“im sorry,” shiro says at the start of their meeting. “i tried to set something up, but it fell through. there are a couple of scholarships you can try applying for, but their awards arent given out until december, so youd have to find a way to make ends meet until then.”

“and i cant be a part time student working,” says lance, “because part time students arent eligible for the internship.”

shiro sighs grimly. “thats right.” for a moment, he does nothing but frown at the wall, and lance has nothing to say so he doesnt interrupt. slowly, without explanation, shiro picks up his desk phone and dials. after a moment of patience, he sets it back down and pinches the bridge of his nose. “i want to figure something out for you, lance. do you have any ideas?”

lance shakes his head, shrugging. “i asked a couple of my friends to get an apartment with me, but two of them are residency staff, and the other one takes too many classes a semester to be able to work enough to afford an apartment.

shiro is about to say something, but the phone rings. he snatches it up. “keith? i thought you were ignoring me. oh. no, thats not it. actually, um, i have him sitting in my office with me. i was hoping you had reconsidered.” there was a very long pause. “i understand that,” says shiro. lance’s organs are all mixed up. his heart is beating in his throat and his stomach is somewhere near his feet. “i understand that,” he says again. “im sorry for what i said. you know i didnt mean it that way. i worry about you, thats all, because im a worrier. im not trying to influence your life at all, i really am just asking for a favor. ive exhausted all my other options. keith, youre all ive got.”

he covers the speaker with his mouth and looks at lance. “are you comfortable talking to him?”

lance balks. “who is it?”

“my brother, keith, the person im trying to get to let you stay with him. he wants to talk to you.”

lance holds his hand out for the phone, and shiro passes it over. lance says, “hello?”

“give me one reason why i should let you stay with me,” says a voice that is not exactly what lance is expecting, but still intimidating. “its not a trick question or a test, but it is pass-fail.”

lance’s mouth is so dry, he isnt sure he’ll be able to speak. “i,” he starts, then decides that he cant, then realizes that he has to. “i dont know what im doing. everyones trying to tell me what i should do, or what i have to do, but your brother--um, professor shirogane--is the only person whos asking me what i want to do. that means a lot to me, and so does the fact that he chose me to be his apprentice. so i want to give this my honest to god best shot to repay him, and because i need to know for myself what im capable of. so, um, sir, if you can give me my foot in the door, i promise i would be grateful for that, and if it doesnt work out, then you can kick me out, and i’ll still be grateful that you gave me the chance. um, thanks for giving me the chance to talk.”

there was a long beat of silence. shiro’s mouth was covered with his hand, so lance couldnt tell if he was smiling, but his eyes were definitely shining.

keith said, “shiro always does make people want to be the best version of themselves. dont tell him i said that. put him back on the line.”

lance shakily handed the phone back. shiro put it to his ear. “keith? uh huh.” he chuckled. “i know.” he closed his eyes, the tension seeping out of his shoulders, and lance couldnt help but feel his hopes soar. “thank you, keith. i promise i’ll pay you back for this, and you wont regret it.” he hangs up. “lance, you have a place to live next year.”

come the end of august, keiths career is running itself. he clears out the storage room in preparation for a temporary guest with the help of shiro, whose job it is not only to set up the room, but to pay lance’s half of the rent if lance should default.

two days after the bed and desk are built, lance mcclain moves in. hes weighed down by bags when keith answers the door, looking boyish and disheveled. “whoa,” he says, and stumbles back, almost loses his balance, then manages to catch himself.

keith prickles. “what?”

lance’s eyes swoop up and down keith a clean once.

“youre shiro’s younger brother,” he says, blinking in surprise. “i didnt expect you to be so... you sounded older and mea-- um, on the phone. i thought i was going to be living with a forty year old dude or something, but you’re. um. hi, im lance mcclain.”

he sticks out his hand, strapped down by bags. keith shakes it.

“keith kogane. your room is down the hall and to the left. the bathroom is the first one on the right. my bedroom is the door at the end of the hall, the one thats always shut.”

lance nods. “right,” he says, sounding choked. “i’ll just put this stuff away then...”

he gets inside his room and calls hunk, freaking out about how the guy he has to live with is a lunatic and might also be a serial killer. how else did one explain his bathroom being so freakishly clean? hunk tells lance to calm down and that its just first-day jitters. everything will feel normal once lance gets the routine down.

but lance does not get the routine down. if keith isnt telling lance not to move the milk in the fridge (lance needed somewhere for his blueberries), then he was shouting through the bathroom door to shut up (lance sang in the shower! big deal!). lance was positive that keith hated him, which, between getting his ass kicked at school and feeling like a burden at the apartment, made for a hellish first month on lance’s part. he and keith never talked to each other, because keith was always leaving for work in the mornings before lance woke up, and lance would get back sometimes at 9pm or later, when keith was already showering and getting ready for bed. on weekends, lance booked it out of there to hang out with hunk and pidge, but keith was usually still awake when lance got back, either reading or watching something on TV.

the best way to describe the tension was frigid. keith didnt acknowledge lance so long as lance kept to himself. and the biggest mistake lance made was to break that tension while keith was home.

of course, lance didnt know at the time. he was pretty sure that keith was out, but too scared to check because the door at the end of the hall was daunting, and lance was pretty sure that keith was the only one who could pass through it without damaging his soul permanently.

lance had assignments, okay? he was a music major. that involved some instruments being played from time to time. usually, he was able to work around keith’s schedule, or quiet enough that he could do it when keith was sleeping, but when he wasnt worried about it, he wasnt worried about it. which led to a high pitched scream from a certain college student as keith banged on his bedroom door.

collecting himself, lance went to open it. “sorry, i-”

“what the hell are you doing?”

lance sighed. “look, keith, im grateful that youre letting me live here, but that means letting me live here. i have assignments, and music relaxes me. so if i can put up with your alphabetical cereal boxes, i think its fair that you let me get some work done.”

“im trying to get my work done.”

“youre not even at work!”

keith pinched the bridge of his nose, a very shiro thing to do. “i dont have a problem with the music,” he said at last. “but we better not get any noise complaints from the neighbors.”

lance saluted him and shut the door, breathing a sigh of relief.

after that, tension melted a little more every day. lance’s outburst seemed to have triggered a chain reaction wherein keith and lance actually learned how to live with each other. after respectfully asking lance to remember to take his beauty products out of the bathroom when finished with them, he realized that what lance really needed was his own shelf, so he adjusted. when lance left on saturday mornings and saw keith taking his usual post at the coffee table with his stack of files, lance would ask if keith wanted anything from mcdonalds before coming home. slowly, surely, they became roommates.

until one day lance came home and saw keith watching his favorite show. it was a tidal wave of loud that keith had never had to experience before. youre only on the first season okay scoot over can i put my feet up im going to who do you like best so far what do you think of the villain isnt the actor who plays jack so hot-

they both freeze a little, lances face going red. “um,” he said. “its not like im going to be bringing any guys home, so we dont have to-”

“im gay,” keith says bluntly, because it looks like lance is about to have a heart attack. he feels a little like doris in that moment, although he doesnt know why. “yeah, hes hot.”

lance melts into the couch. “that makes that easy then,” he says. “that makes this the gay-partment. actually, we cant call it that, because im bi for real, and gay-partment doesnt sound good anyway, but you get what im-”

“i get it,” says keith, a mercy killing. he presses play with finality.

shiro checks up on keith frequently enough, but he never asks about lance any more than “is everything okay between you guys?” keith suspects that shiro does not want to push, and is waiting for keith to be the person who actually brings it up.

keith doesnt. even when he waits for lance to get home from classes so they can watch an episode together before keith goes to bed (because the last time keith watched it without him lance threw a fit), or when lance’s awful car craps out on him so they have to share for a week while the mechanic handles it, which involves a lot of carpooling and, as lance calls them “jam sessions” where he blares his horrible music and sings along (but isnt actually so bad because sometimes he improvises lines to the songs and he can be funny when he wants to be). 

keith realizes over the six days that lance is gone for thanksgiving break, not even a full week, that the apartment feels too quiet without him, and at the ripe old age of 23, he might have found his first genuine friend.

after thanksgiving, the barrier melts more. keith is cool with lance having friends over as long as he gets a heads up, and lance invites keith to his occasional open mic night performances at BU.

one day, lance comes home and sees keith hunched over some files on the kitchen table, tie loose on his neck, a half-finished bowl of leftover pasta abandoned near him. lance realizes that he has no idea what keiths job is.

“sales,” keith informs him. “i convince people that they need to buy eco-friendly plastic cups in bulk for their business or school.”

“sounds boring.”

“its not.”

“do you supply cups to my school?”

“theyre not one of my clients, no.”

“if you cant sell cups to your own brother’s school, how good of a salesman can you be?”

keith rolls his eyes and--hey, finally--looks up. “im the best in the department,” he says. “because i take my job seriously, lance. as seriously as you take your apprenticeship to shiro, which is the only reason i agreed to let you stay here.”

“wow,” says lance. “thats harsh. all work and no play makes keith revert back to his old angry self, i see.” he leaves. keith sighs, decides he can no longer focus, and packs up his files. he cleans up his wasted dinner and knocks on lance’s door. lance doesnt answer, so keith persists. when hes ignored again, he grits his teeth and says, “oh, real mature.”

he turns to go back to the living room and sees the bathroom door open. lance steps out, shirtless. “who are you talking to?” he asks, shirtless. he scratches the back of his head, shirtless.

“are you hungry?” asks keith. “i was thinking we could order a pizza and watch an episode or two.”

lance considers keith for a moment, shirtless, then rolls his eyes, still shirtless. “if thats the best you can do for apologies, mullet, then you have a lot to learn. i was going to take a shower.” he reaches around keith, shirtless, and pulls a towel off the inside of his bedroom wall. “call and order, i’ll be fast.” before he shuts the bathroom door again, he says, “i don’t are what else is on it as long as there are green peppers.” and then he’s gone, shirtless.

keith wakes up and wonders why he blacked out for a second.

the pizza arrives, and lance gets out of the shower, clothed, and one or two episodes become six or seven, with keith continuously having to pause because lance is talking and getting carried away because hes getting so excited. its thursday and keith has work tomorrow, he knows, and yet hes denying it. his stomach is full of warm pizza and lance has just stopped talking about the way it rained when they filmed this scene, but keith hasnt reached over to his play yet.

“you would be a good salesman,” he tells lance. “youve got the charisma for it.”

“keith, that is literally the meanest thing youve ever said to me. no offense, but to suggest i would spend my life sitting in a cubicle is unforgivable. to each their own, though. when all the little kids in your third grade class were saying, i want to be a firefighter! and, i want to be a princess! what made you snap up your suspenders and say, i want to sell eco-friendly plastic cups!”

“i dont wear suspenders.”

“thats not the question i was asking.”

keith shrugs. hes laying down more than hes sitting up, which as a rule, is frowned upon when using couches in this apartment. lance has been a bad influence in this regard. “its practical.”

“did you have to take business classes and everything?”

“i took them, yeah.”

lance throws his head back and groans, pokes keith’s thigh teasingly with his big toe. “man, i cant imagine going to school to actually learn a useful life skill. whats job security like?”

staring up at the ceiling, keith is unsettled to find that he knows the answer. “boring.”

lance sits up. “huh?”

“its too easy,” says keith. “every day, its just selling cups. a moron could do it. and my boss doris is a peach, but this morning she stood at karen’s cubicle across from mine for a straight hour talking about plants.”

“plants are so practical,” says lance. “you have a house plant in the corner.” he points at herman.

“his name is herman.”

lance’s eyes blow wide. “dude! no way! you named your plant! i didnt think you were the type!”

“ive never said his name out loud with another person in the room before.”

lance covers his face with both hands and wheezes. “you talk to herman when no one else is in the room.”

lance does not say that he had been calling herman shelby.

“theres a smaller one on my desk at the office named sherman,” says keith.

“not judging, dude, but why would you give so much of yourself to this job if it isnt what you want to do?”

keith shrugs again. “its practical.”

“im a music major and i dont buy that shit. why dont you do what you love? like, how does the time that you spend not doing whatever it is you love not a giant waste?”

“because...” keith feels like a robot. “its practical.”

“if practicality didnt matter, what would you do?”

keith considers lance, considers himself. he finds the answer but decides that its too scary right now. 

“i’d sell cups on the moon.”

lance busts a gut. the seriousness of the topic derailed, keith presses play, and they go back to watching the episode. lance doesnt interrupt for the remainder of the episode, and when keith looks over, he realizes its because lance has fallen asleep. with his legs spread over keith’s lap. when had they gotten there? keith couldnt move now. he had work in the morning.

he was also already in his pajamas. and the sofa was warm enough, and the heating was on in preparation for winter. and keith was already up later than he normally stayed awake...

he woke up with sunlight streaming peacefully on his eyelids. that was usually a luxury saved for the weekends. SUNLIGHT? keith’s eyes popped open, and he remembered all at once talking with lance, falling asleep, lance. last night had been a lance-heavy night. his toes were underneath keith’s shirt, his face smushed into the cushions.

keith clawed his phone out of his pocket as he extracted himself from the couch, from lance. 9:08. shit shit shit shit. 2 missed calls from doris. he ran into his room, where his alarm clock had been screaming for two and a half hours now, and threw on a dress shirt, pants, and shoes, then he rocketed out the door, his phone already pressed to his ear. hi doris sorry sorry sorry i overslept im leaving now i’ll be right here this wont happen again.

his coworkers dont let him live it down. all day its, how ya doing, keith? hows that perfect punctuality youre always harping about? crazy hook up with your take-home pile, was it? doris is the only one who is understanding, and, luckily, her opinion of the situation is all that matters.

“whatever kept you,” she says, “i hope you had fun.”

keith is exhausted by the time he gets home. he unknots his tie on the way to his room, and as he passes lance’s door, he hears the soft tones of music from inside. he pauses. knocks. lance calls, “come in.”

keith pokes his head inside. theres lance, several instruments sprawled across his floor, and him in the center of them, a ukulele in his hands. keith smiles. “sounds good,” he says.

lance gives him a sympathetic eyebrow raise. “you look like shit.”

“thanks.”

“come sit down.”

grateful for the invitation, keith obeys, unraveling his tie all the way. he likes that lance doesnt make him say anything. he goes back to playing music, singing, a soft song that has keiths eyelids fluttering shut and his shoulders relaxing before they can help it.

the next week, lance’s semester ends. he heads home to swap the old year for a new model, see his family, catch up with neighborhood friends. theres the weirdest disconnect he gets where he turns to make a comment to someone, expecting them to be someone else, and gets frustrated.

keith, meanwhile, has resorted to calling shiro at night to somehow break this god awful silence. they get together on christmas, which helps. hes ready to spend new years alone with the LGBT section of Netflix when, at 10:14 PM, his phone rings in a way it doesnt usually. He presses accept, and suddenly Lance is grinning at him in a room full of shouting Cubans.

“Keith! My man! How’s it hanging! No, shut up Marcia, I’m busy. Hey, what’s up!”

Keith is a little bewildered. “Um. Hey.”

“hold on, its super loud in here. let me get to my room so i can actually hear you.”

“why did you call?” asks keith.

lance gives him a look as he enters a much more quiet space. “because my spidey senses told me that you were sitting alone on your couch like a loser right now.”

keith frowns down at his comfortable pajamas. “i am not a loser.”

“of course not,” lance agrees. “thats thanks to me, by the way, and my amazing ability to be in two places at once, thanks to facetime.”

“hows home?” keith asks, aware that suddenly they were chatting, and that the frown he’d been carrying around for days had magically lifted itself off his face. lance is as excitable as ever, even when hes miles and miles away, and keith wonders at the idea of all this distance theyve lived with between them suddenly closed. its an interesting thought.

he doesnt realize how long lance has kept him talking until 11:59, when lance brings his attention to the countdown clock. the inside of keith’s chest feels warm and calm knowing that lance didnt want keith to be alone on new years, and that he cared enough to sit in his room for two hours talking at a screen, and that he was choosing to spend the passover to midnight with keith.

at midnight, keith clinks a glass of champagne against his phone, as does lance, and they drink together. then, lance sombers.

“hey, um. i wanted to thank you for everything you did for me last semester,” says lance. “im still trying to put things together for the spring, but if you want, i could let you know how it goes. i mean, i dont want to stop talking to you, or knowing you.”

keith is utterly lost. “what are you talking about?”

now lance looks confused. “the end of the semester,” he says.

“what about it?”

“my apprenticeship.”

Apprenticeships only lasted a semester!

keith actually slapped his forehead. “lance!” he said, sitting up and clutching his burning phone tighter. He’d had to plug it in an hour ago. “why didn’t you remind me? are you trying to tell me you left? that you literally left to go back home without saying goodbye?”

“you didnt say goodbye!” lance defends, voice getting shrill. “i thought you werent the type!”

“i thought you werent leaving! or, i mean, i thought you were coming back right after!”

“I literally packed out my whole room, keith.”

“people need things when they go home.”

lance shook his head, dumbfounded. “i cant believe we’re having this conversation. what are you going to do without me? yes, keith, im back home and scouring the forums for a new roommate next semester. im trying to have a bonding moment where i thank you for everything youve done for me, but youre ruining it by being an idiot.”

“damn it, lance. you dont have to move out. youre more than welcome to keep living here. lance? did you freeze?”

“what? no. i just. i kind of thought you hated me.”

hate? the literal opposite. keith had to fight not to be sarcastic. “i dont hate you. i want you to stay here. not as a favor, but because this place feels weird without you here now. its as much yours as it is mine. we can put you on the lease if you want.”

“keith, that is the grossest, most adult thing youve ever said to me. of course i will legally sign a binding contract with my name next to yours.”

did lance just... keith’s smaller face went red next to lance’s bigger face. keith sat up a little straighter. “um, cool. cool. when you get back, then. so, you are coming back?”

“yes,” said lance. “and thank god it means i dont have to live with smelly jeremy and his flea-ridden dogs. just your flea-ridden mullet.”

keith narrowed his eyes and hung up.

he got a text from lance saying, see yr flea-tastic self on january 25th, then marked the day down in his phone. afterward, he opened the door to lance’s room, which was indeed empty. keith’s heart went a little spastic at the thought that january 25th could have come and gone, and he would have had no idea that lance had not been planning to return. he called shiro and berated him for not talking about the apprenticeship more often, so keith would have been prepared.

lance comes back and brings the sun with him. keith, who has been this close to quitting his job every time he walks into work, could not be happier. they move lance’s things in together, which involves a lot of stopping and making fun of lance’s possessions on keith’s part. lance grins and goes for the mullet, and somehow they end up wrestling on the floor.

keith thinks, i cant not kiss him.

and then his phone vibrates against his leg. he remembers that lance is living here because he has nowhere else to go, and that putting him in this position if he doesnt feel the same way about keith is a horrible thing to do. he untangles himself, guilty.

“where are you going?” demands lance. “i was winning!”

“its doris,” says keith. “gotta take it.”

speaking of doris, she notices. at 6pm the next day, she stops by keiths cubicle. “been a while since we last met here, sugarcake. trouble at home?”

theres no one else in the office, and keith is close to a meltdown. he swivels to face doris, hangs his head, and says, “i think im in love with my roommate lance.”

her face doesnt betray an ounce of shock, but rather, shes giving him the same look shiro used to when keith would talk about nightmares. keiths heart shatters from being touched by kindness. he doesnt leave the office for another hour, not because he was working, but because that night doris lets him tell her everything.

lance is still in class when keith gets home, eats, showers, and gets ready for bed. he almost doesnt know what to do with himself now that theres a whole other conscious entity living in this house--his fucking emotions. he has his hair pulled back, his pajamas on, and hes just getting ready to call it a night when the front door opens and lance tosses his bag in its usual spot under the window.

“hey,” he says, surprised to see keith up. “dont want to miss the early bird special tomorrow. what’re you doing up?”

“can we play?” asks keith.

lance is clearly doubly surprised, but he guides keith into his room. its as blissfully messy as it was before lance left for break. “you said we. do you play?”

keith picks up a lap-sized keyboard. “i used to.”

“i didnt know that. why didnt you say?”

“because you wouldve asked me to play with you.”

“thats true.” lance picks his ukulele, and they start to improvise together, each learning how the other plays, adjusting. “you werent kidding, you really play.”

“i wasnt kidding,” says keith.

suddenly, lance stops. “hey, is everything alright? youre acting weird. dont tell me youre regretting asking me to move back in.”

“no,” keith says immediately. “no, im just wondering if maybe... are you happy here? or is this just a roommate situation?”

“what do you mean, is this just a roommate situation?”

“you know what i mean.”

“no,” says lance. “i dont.”

“i mean,” says keith, “do you actually like living here, or do you live here because im your only option?”

lance sets down his ukulele. “i like living here because the bathroom tiles are cold when i get out of the shower so i hop to the rug by the door and pray to god i dont slip and break my neck. and because the sunset turns the kitchen wall purple while i make pasta. and because im the only one who can put my feet up on the coffee table. and because the cereal is arranged in alphabetical order and the plant’s name is herman. i like living here. here feels like home.”

keith kisses him. he stands up and backs away just as quickly, guilty, unable to believe he had just crossed the line like that. god, he’s going to have to tell doris about this. she would rip his head off so politely.

“what the fuck?” says lance, blunt and surprised. keith winces, about to apologize, when suddenly he’s being crowded up against the wall of his storage room, of lance’s bedroom, and kissed like his lips leaked chocolate. he melts. lance snakes one hand behind keith’s neck and the other around his waist, and keith tugs lance closer by the hips. the hand at keith’s neck digs into his hair and pulls out the hair tie. the hair tie disappears. keith pulls lance closer. 

lance pulls back. “finally.”

“you had the option to make the first move, you know.”

“nah, not me, i’m a coward.”

“yeah, right.”

they kissed again, with keith holding tighter and lance staying longer. keith thinks, doris isnt going to believe this one.

that night, the taboo on keith’s bedroom door breaks when keith invites lance to sleep on a queen sized mattress. it takes lance a full five minutes to stop laughing at the clear cowboy paraphernalia keith inherited growing up in texas, but he doesnt mind curling up to sleep by the potted cactus on the nightstand, whose name he politely asks for.

keith stops killing himself working to sell eco-friendly plastic cups, and with all his spare time, he and lance start writing songs together. shiro, in a display of good sportsmanship, never points out that he was right.

[hankeliza]

Hate to be cliche, but here goes.

This decade has been some shit. 2010. Best year of my life. I’m 17, I have my soul mate and best friend every single day of my life. No bills and making way too much money. I got the love of my life, Rome. I am so cool in my mind and just life was fucking GREAT. I met corbin that year and I was legit in absolute bliss.

Feb 2012 my best friend moves to fl and that was so great but I am in absolute shambles. I am lost I am unhappy. This is where it all goes wrong and only now, 8 years later do I realize the codependency issues I had with jenna. I fucking loved that chick from the depths of my goddamn soul, we could speak and make decisions and plans with just locking eyes for a blink of a second. So bc I am sad, lost and unable to make sense of my selfish and immature feelings, I take it out on her and a whole slough of klonopin. Corbin and I are doing bad and this is when it should’ve ended.

April 2012 (hah time is funny af) I do some shady shit, but not to the magnitude it was portrayed. Life moves on and I get back with corbin. This is my new person to rely on. I need him bc he stuck thru it with me and gained my whole hearted trust that he loves me, even when ugly and I love him through all of his ugly. We are ugly and we are in love and nothing in the world matters to me anymore besides him.

Oct 2012 I finally am ready to move outta stc. But corbins with me. I beg and beg and beg to please go to Tampa but nah, we go to Miami. It’ll be easier, Adam will take us in. He still is this big mature, always with it guy, I don’t know him, that’s why. We get there, nothing much to even talk about. Great times but eh. Leavin it at that. Shit happens and we get out of dodge like some fuckin thief’s in the night. Drive two days to portland. I won’t get into all the beautiful shit I saw bc that’ll take too long but, here we are.

I live with a naked hippie that is actually psychotic and oh, later on turns out she’s making us pay for a house SHE IS SQUATTING IN. But anyway, things happened (again adam) and we move to the city city. Won’t even get in to the shit that transpired there, but now I’m moving back home.

Feb 2013 (wow really seeing some timelines matching up of my most unpleasant times of my life?!¿¡) so I’m back home. I don’t sleep, I don’t eat. I think I weighed 110 while standing 5’8. My dads on parole, only time I see sunlight is when he needs to meet with his PO. Nicole nurtures me and literally does everything in her power to make me be better, but I am not ready to feel happiness or bond with any other human. I am not ready to move on or up or out. I am stuck. Corbin moves home. Ahhh yes. My safety blanket is back and I can be happy again (hahahah)

So in the meantime while I was sad Nicole and I are partying, late nights to meijer and rite aid, getting high and snacks and shit is just fucking awesome. She meets the love of her life and he takes her and even me in to his whole friend crowd and I am HAPPY and feel bliss again. I have friends? Imagine that. They fall madly in love and then heh, they move. Well shit. Now mind you I have totally capability to see them whenever I please bc Nicole is an open door policy. But truly I’m lazy, I like convenience and still wrapped up in my own stupid bitchass, (that I can now see, but then couldn’t) and it’s back to corbin and I.

So now it’s getting close to end of 2013 and all I pretty much do is spend every waking moment with corbin. I don’t mean to make that sound so awful, then I loved it. Now, it’s all so bleak.

2014 hits. I’m in and out of jobs. Corbin and I live off of pop can returns. I’m still 21 so like, none of that mattered and I didn’t care about a future. He gets a job and I finally get into the courthouse. We start doing ~molly~ heavy. Locking ourselves in a bedroom from Friday-Sunday. Every weekend. When you hear “ecstasy/drugs ruined my sex life” from older people, you don’t really know what to make of that. When I tell you drugs ruined our sex life and our likeness for each other, now I fucking get it. I stopped smoking weed 24/7 bc I was paranoid of losing my job. Not much more to that year or 2015 than chemical pills and being locked in a room and outdoor adventures with my dog.

2016, I finally convince corbin to {for the love of god} attempt to get his license back (which he did, and then ruined again, but that comes later) so we’re really making moves, honestly for us we were doing shit. We had a marker board calendar AND meeting our goals/deadlines !!! His dad gets oxys, and we’ve been borrowing his Vicodin for idk, a year or 3 at this point. This is kinda when things get fuzzy. But oxys come and got damn do they feel good. But only recreational. It wasn’t serious then.

Corbin gets prescribed adderall. Not much more we need to dive in to with that jazz but oxys and addies were all we ate until about the end of 2017. Pills are gone. Let’s fucking driiiiink.

2018

So I developed an alcohol issue at this point. Still battling it to this day. But I don’t really remember much. Did some cool shit, went to Europe. Met a girl that I’ve never loved kissing more. She was nuts. I moved out of our apartment we got together and back home, re-up w/ Rickey, we have fun. He cheats on me with the girl he got pregnant and neglected (they’re engaged now, congrats guys) I’m completely broken and alone because at this point i have managed to push every waking soul away from me and experience the weirdest fucking shit ever that I can only explain as spiritual, or maybe it was satanic. It burned and hurt and scared the ballsacks out of me. Can’t kill your self if you’re a pussy, turns out.

I spent this whole year trying to find friends, wrong crowd. I developed a relationship with a coworker who still to this day has my heart and soul and I love him and will always hope the best. He is the greatest comfort I had but it was only ever from 5pm - until we finished having drinks and sex and then back to being alone. I even confessed my confused love for him and he set me straight. He showed me more about being strong than anyone ever. I love you D.

The end of September I finally meet up with a dude I can’t take my damn eyeballs off for years. I finally mustered up the courage after making excuses for about 2 weeks why I couldnt meet up with him. So I come over. It’s raining so hard. I couldn’t find his house. I just wanted the god damn dick, and go home. He didn’t let that happen.

We see one another mainly every single day except Wednesday’s because he has plans that day every week. I tried my hardest to ghost him multiple times but he didn’t let that happen either. We are both drinking a lot because we are both sad but our company really really reaaaally made up for the sadness. He is the funniest person I’ve ever met and I think he thought that about me too.

November 21st comes and he is being weird and I am constantly nervous around him so I get weird bc I think I did something or he’s gonna tell me to go home, I didn’t know. He finally says he wants to be my man, like full time man. I have a bf? I don’t want one but something about you is fckin freaky you beautiful boy. Everything is coming together.

And here we go: December 21. 1 month is all it took to mess it up.

Leaving my work party, ironically after getting all of my drinks bought for me :) , I go to jail. Jail was not as bad as I expected. I was a good criminal so I got to sit in a different room w/ a tv until shift change. Oh and ! my high school classmate was a worker there so that was neat ! (jesuschrist) anyway; dont have Laynes number memorized, my family and I just watched my grandpa die, gasping for air 10 day prior. Can’t call my mom. Scared to call my dad (who was the nicest of anyone) soooooo corbin it is. I dealt with his jail problems time after time so, his turn I guess.

Welp it’s 2019. Not much to say. Layne stuck through all of it with me and I have no fucking clue why. Got a therapist. Stopped drinking whiskey completely. Bought a vacuum and couch. Live with my way too supportive boyfriend. My family fucking loves him. I am .... growing ? stronger ? mentally ? as every day passes ? because of him ? He teaches me so much about moving on, life and just thinking before doing. Life ain’t that serious. I love you Layne. I completely do. I started alcohol classes and I went in with such a shitty attitude, like I’m better than everyone? (Been my issue for, forever) I fucking love my group sessions. I am for once not alone with the unpopular shit I struggle with. Addiction is so real and I always thought it was a stupid ass excuse for being lazy but hahhhhhh karma loves me.

I’ve been struggling so hard with jenna. I have talked to a handful of people and most have said it’s been blown out of proportion but, don’t hurt your friends. I finally fucking wrapped it up when I got ahold of her, tried to anyway, before Christmas. I explained a lot, now that I’ve had years to sit back and reflect on myself and my bullshit and I can’t blame her (side bar: she still didn’t care lol.) But I am fuckin over it. My feelings got hurt to absolute fuck about some things and instead of being mature, I fucked her over, because I felt fucked over. But I’m sorry, I did that, I take responsibility and best wishes forever but an anvil weight has finally been lifted off my chest and I feel like I can finally move the fuck on and it’s such a great feeling to get rid of something that’s been eating me alive.

So basically, the last two years ate me the fuck alive. This year I meditated on shit. We will see how 2020 goes but I am ready considering what I’ve done to myself, been through and I still am fucking alive and trying. Being a human is dumb but it’s aight sometimes. Getting better. Good luck y’all.

[miraculoustrashblogger]

Season of Miracles Chapter 9

So.  It’s been nearly a month since I updated.  A lot has happened in this time.  A few days after I posted the last chapter, I secured an apartment.  I’ve been meaning to get my own place since September, and it finally happened.  So I’ve been trying to pack, when I’m not busy with work and a million other things.

I then was struck with writers block, and I have found it incredibly difficult to move past it.  My depression reared its ugly head and I couldnt get anything done besides eat, sleep, work, repeat for about 2 weeks.

And then the worst happened.  My sister-in-law finally went into labour, and her son, my nephew, was born at 5:24am on January 17th, and pronounced stillborn at 6:15am.  The funeral is this Sunday, and preparations and mourning and lots of visits to my brother have further consumed my time and energy.

So here is chapter 9, at long last.  It’s short.  It’s not my best.  But I don’t think I will ever be satisfied with it.  I’m moving in a week, I have barely any packing done, I am exhausted, I have 3 more work shifts, a new job to find, a rental truck to arrange, and so much more.

I don’t know when the next chapter will come out.  I’m not even going to make a deadline, because clearly, my life hates them.

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 X  10  11  12  13

AO3

Still Christmas eve

“Hello, Monsieur Agreste.” Marinette smiled. “Please, come in. Merry Christmas!” “Thank you.” He said, nodding as she backed up to allow him in.

Adrien's jaw was on the floor, as was Nino's.  Alya noticed, and nudged them both.

“Father, you're here!  I thought you were supposed to be in Milan?”  Adrien stood up from his seat.  He was happy to see his father, but he was shocked.  He hadn't a clue this was happening.

“I postponed all of my meetings for after the holidays.  Miss Dupain-Cheng was kind enough to extend an invitation, and I decided it would be rude of me to not attend.  Of course, I realized I had not R.S.V.P.'d, so I hope you'll excuse my unexpected appearance.”

“That's no problem at all!”  Sabine spoke up.  She seemed to have shaken off her surprise, but being the ever-ready hostess, she got up to greet him. “We were just about to eat dinner, if you'd like to come and join us.”

Gabriel gave a small smile.  “That would be lovely.  First, I need to go grab something from my car, however.”

Adrien walked over to his father.  “I'll help!”  He had a few questions, and he decided he might get more honest answers without an audience.

“Thank you, Adrien.”

As Adrien and Gabriel headed down to the car, while the rest of the party arranged the table to squeeze him in.

“Father, did you really reschedule everything to come?”

Gabriel was silent for a moment.  “It was heavily requested by most of the other members of the companies to postpone.”  He admitted.  “When half of them expressed their displeasure at being dragged away from their families and swore not to attend, I was forced to realize I had been running away from my own.  Of course, getting scolded by your friend was certainly jarring.”  He chuckled.

Scolded?  Alya wouldn't have dared.  He thought. Nino wouldn't even make it past the gate.  So that leaves... “Marinette yelled at you?”  Adrien said, surprised at first.  The more he pictured it, though, the more he could see it actually happening.

“Indeed.  She reminds me of your mother, actually.  Sweet and kind, but if someone ever earned her ire...”  He chuckled, pulling a few bags out of the trunk.

Adrien laughed with him.  Sounds about right, Marinette is a real spitfire sometimes...

Carrying everything back up, they rejoined the party.  Gabriel pulled out a bottle of wine, and handed it to Sabine and Tom.  Usually it was considered rude to provide wine unless you were the host, so Sabine and Tom accepted it cautiously.  This was either an insult to their choice in wines, or a very poorly made decision.

“Montrachet, Grand Cru, 2006...” Tom read off the bottle.  Adrien didn't know much about wines, but he knew enough to know that that was a well-respected brand.  Tom seemed blown away.  “Comtes Lafon?  You must have spent a fortune on this!”  He ran a hand through his hair.  “I-It's a very kind gesture, but surely there must be a better occa--”

“I insist we drink it with dinner tonight.”  Gabriel interrupted.  “I purchased it three years ago, and it has been sitting in my wine cellar ever since.  I think it's time to open it.” Gabriel offered a kind smile.

Adrien looked at the bottle.  He remembered when they got it.  It was one they had bought to open for Christmas the year his mom disappeared. Adrien felt hopeful that this gesture was a good sign.

Tom and Sabine looked at Gabriel, and then each other.  Slowly, they began to smile back.

“Well, then.”  Tom said.  “I suppose I should find a bottle opener.”

While Tom rooted around in the kitchen, everyone else settled into their seats.

Nino looked very nervous, like he was waiting for Gabriel to notice his presence, sneer at him, and leave.  Gabriel's eyes roamed the room, pausing on each person, including Nino, but no sneering or storming out occurred.  

Tom opened the bottle of wine and began serving everyone a glass.

Marinette, being the daughter of award winning bakers, had tasted a wide variety of wines, paired with a wide variety of foods.  She was hard pressed to find a wine she liked, she found most just left an aftertaste of the fermentation on her tongue.  When she tried this one, she was unsurprised to find it was not an exception, despite the fact that it was quite flavourful besides.  Still, she swallowed down her distaste and made no comment.  It was an expensive gift, and it would be rude not to accept it with grace.

The group settled at the table and passed around the platters of food, doling out servings and chatting.

Marinette stood, gently tapping her fork against her wine glass to get everyone's attention.

“A toast!”  She said.  “To Family, friendship, growth, and a prosperous new year!  Merry Christmas!”  She smiled.

“Merry Christmas!”  Everyone around the table replied, clinking glasses together.  Even Gabriel seemed happy, and gave a reserved smile.

They quieted down a little as they ate, only pausing to compliment the food.

When the meals were done, they all worked together to clean up the dishes and food.  Everyone was a little surprised when Gabriel volunteered to wash the dishes, and Adrien quickly stepped up to dry them. Marinette stepped in line beside them and put away the dishes.  Nino and Alya helped Sabine divide up the leftovers into containers, and Tom disappeared down into the bakery.  Everyone was finishing up as Tom reappeared carrying a large Buche de Noel.

They served up the cake, and there was utter silence as everyone bit into the dessert.

Nino spoke through a mouthful of food.  “Papa Tom, this is amazing!  I think it's even better than last year!”  Marinette nodded in agreement.

“I wanted to try something a little different, so I'm glad you like it.” He smiled.

“What did you do differently?”  Marinette asked.

He winked at his daughter.  “Can't give away all my secrets, now can I?”

Marinette humphed, but let it go.  She'd pester him later.

Dessert done, it was time for Alya and Nino to go.  The friends hugged, passing around thanks and Merry Christmas's, as Alya and Nino loaded up with their things to head downstairs.

Gabriel, now noticing the instruments as Nino packed them away with care, looked curious.

Sabine, never one to miss a thing, lit up.

“You didn't get to see them play!”  She gasped.  “Honey, where did your phone go?”  She turned around looking for it.  Tom picked it up from the side table he had placed it on, and handed it to his wife.  She pulled up the video of the teens musical performance, and held it up for Gabriel to see.

As she hit play, the sound of the piano and violin's introduction began, softly playing through a few bars, before Alya and Marinette began to sing.  Unknowingly, Gabriel's jaw dropped ever so slightly.  He had seen his son play before, but it had been a while since he had attended a recital.  The girls voices blended beautifully, but the thing that surprised him the most was Nino.  He had not expected the brash, uncultured boy to play as well as he did.  The idea of him even picking up a classical instrument seemed like it should have been a foreign concept, but clearly it was not.  The boy was talented.

“Papa, is everything okay?”  Adrien's question interrupted his thoughts. The video had ended, but somewhere along the way, Gabriel had taken the device to hold himself.  Gabriel felt something on his cheek, and wiping it away discovered it was a tear.  He pretended not to notice, and cleared his throat.

“I'm sorry I missed your performance.”  He said, handing the phone back to Sabine.  “I imagine it was even more beautiful in person.”  He put his hand on his son's shoulder.

“There'll be another chance.  Now that I know Nino plays the violin, I'm going to make sure we play together more often!”  Adrien chuckled.

Gabriel let his hand fall to his side.  “I suppose I should be leaving. Adrien, are you staying here tonight?”

The boy looked to the hosts questioningly.  “Uh...”

Tom answered him.  “You are both welcome to stay the night.  Mr. Agreste can take the guest bedroom, and Adrien can either take the sofa, or Marinette's chaise.  It won't be ideal, but we could make it work.  If you decide you would prefer to go home, though, that's okay.  You'd still be welcome to come back in the morning for Christmas.”

Gabriel seemed to ponder the options.

“If you'll have us, perhaps we will both stay the night then.  The manor does seem very empty sometimes.”  He smiled at his son, and Adrien smiled back.

So, there it is.  I have a lot of work ahead of me to do, so I can’t make any promises on when the next chapter will be out, but here’s hoping my life will calm the eff down, my depression will go the eff away, and that I can get my shit together.

Redfox out.

[spookyenemyperson-blog]

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I bought another used car 2005 and my insurance rates when up $500.00 a year. They told me because of my credit rating........what! I have a perfect driving record and have been driving for 36 years so tell me what does my credit have to do with my car insurance or driving record?!!!!! I am only behind on a couple credit cards so please someone tell me why this is?

Individual health insurance?

These are my health issues I'm currently treated for and/or have perscribed meds. Moderately elevated blood pressure, osteo arthritis,fibromyalsia,and I take meds. for cholesterol and depression. I currently pay $380 a month for medical and perscription coverage. I am a 59 year old female. Ilive in Fla. The coverage I currently have is too high and too many draw backs. It seems like a rip off to pay this amount and have so MANY stipulations. I need a name and number only for companies that can truly meet my needs. Otherwise, I'll keep this lousy insurance I have.""

Help me find affordable health insurance in ny state if i am not poverty level?

Help me find affordable health insurance in ny state if i am not poverty level?

Why arent car insurance comparison sites easy?

I am really confused how to use the damn things, for example i am trying to find a cheap quote but it keeps on asking when i want the policy to start?? When i do not want it to?? What policy date should i put in if i am just trying to find cheap insurance, not wishing to start it. Help is much appreciated!""

Is geico really the cheapest car insurance for a 19 year old driving a sliver 2001 mustang?

Dont know which insurance is cheaper?

Anyone know where to get esthetics liability insurance?

I am working as an independent contractor. Any suggestions for insurance companies?

florida farm bureau auto insurance quote

florida farm bureau auto insurance quote

Would health insurance be valid in all states or just in the one you bought it in?

I am currently in Houston Texas and I wish to receive health insurance. I will be moving back and forth between Texas and Utah. I wish to know if health insurance here in Texas will be valid in Utah. I think this is a pretty uninformed question but that is why I am asking and I am only 18 so I do not have to much experience in this matter. If you know of a website I could look into to be informed then that would be very well.

How to estimate landlord insurance?

Landlord insurance Flood Insurance Are there any sites that give an estimate based on the location of the house? I'm looking for something that doesn't ask for all of my info before giving out an answer (because that's their outdated marketing tactic).

Primerica vs mass mutual life insurance?

Primerica vs mass mutual life insurance?

Buying health insurance for the first time?

I'm looking to buy health insurance, but not sure what type to get. I'm very healthy and have no children so it would be just for myself. Should I do a co-pay plan? HMO or PPO? Not sure.""

Im 16 and getting a 2010 Camaro LS how much will insurance cost?

I live in fort worth, tx zip code is 76106""

Where can u find health insurance for a family at a reasonable pricethat one can afford?

Where can u find health insurance for a family at a reasonable pricethat one can afford?

I'm 16 and Parents Just Bought me a Chrysler 300..... I have to Pay Insurance?

Okay My parents just Got this Car for me. It is Brand new Not payed off... It is Financed and They said before I can drive it I have to pay the insurance. Anybody know of any cheap insurance companys.... I heard of something called an independent agent or something what should I do??? Help Help

Should I put my car insurance under my name or my dad's name?

I'm 22 years old male, clean driving record, my dad just give me his 97 Lexus ES300, and we own the car together, so both his and my name are on the car registration. The ...show more""

Car insurance for MERCEDES BENZE?

WOULD LIKE A GUIDE TO THE BEST TYPE OF CAR INSURANCE FOR MY 2003 MERC/

I have title to my exes car and pay their insurance. How do I get out of it?

Me and my girl broke up a year and a half ago. She's a real piece of work. We lived together for 3 years and had everything is each others names. Utility bills, cell phone bills etc. She never paid any of her bills on time and it destroyed her credit. I signed for a car for her because she's had multiple DUI's and didn't have the credit to get her own. She made the payments on it and I never put any money down. The car title is in my name and she has paid it off. She can't get insurance because of the DUI's. I just want to be done with it so I don't have to deal with her anymore but she wants me to hold off until she finished her DUI classes to get a reasonable rate on insurance. She's been telling me the same thing for a year plus. I'm not even sure if she's taken or taking these classes yet or not. I asked her about it the other day and she never responded to me. I had left her a voicemail and she never called me back. This really pisses me off. So my question is if I sign the title and make her sign it as well do I have any more resposibility with the automobile? I just want to drop her from my insurance and give her the title. Is she wrecks or, god forbid, kills someone while driving am I liable for anything?""

Car accident/insurance question!?

Is there some sort of law that claims if your car is in an accident the dealership will pay for the rest of the remaining balance on your car? That way the insurance company gives you the money to buy a new one. My friend was telling me something about this but I don't really remember what it was called, or even if that was what she was trying to explain. Thank you!""

Help! im trying to find car insurance!?

help ! i am trying to find car insurance for a bog standard vaxhaull corsa and each time I have done a quote for TPFT the price is no less than 1800. I am 19 and have held a clean license for 1 year. Any suggestions? I am going in an hour to buy a car.

What are the best/ cheapest private health insurance providers in wisconsin?

23 yr old male, good health medical, dental, and vision plans? Thanks!""

Cheapest car to insure?

Hello my friend is passing her test hopefully in September time and is looking for a car now to get insured for September the first with her full license she is 19 but wants cheap insurance? Thanks

I need to get some car insurance quotes!?

What are the best sites to get a free quote? Also what is the basic insurance you should get?

Insurance estimate on a car?

So right now i have a 2010 nissan sentra SR and my insurance payment is 120$ a month. i have only used my insurance once, and that was comprehensive collision due to some terrible luck, but my cost did not go up. i want to get a 2008 nissan altima coupe 3.5. i am a 20 year old male, never had a ticket, no bad record or anything like that. would my insurance double if i was to make the switch or what would i be looking at? THanks!""

Can I move to nevada and keep California auto insurance for 6 months?

I am considering moving to las vegas area and would like to know how long I can live there and keep my CA drivers license, CA registration, and CA auto insurance.""

Is there a way to get cheaper car insurance in the uk?

im 17 and male im making good progress with driving lessons and have passed the theory i have always been interested in cars and then i decided to have a look at them to buy and insure. so i checked the insurance for a 1.0 polo...3400 any 17 year old will NEVER be able to pay this. ive tried 3rd party ive tried doing it through my parents ive tried getting insurance quote for my parents car 1.6 astra. so is there any companys that will do anything to help young people out? like special deals etc also is insurance this bad in usa for younger people?

How come my insurance is going up?

My mom just told me that the insurance company is raising my insurance by like 168$(6 month pay day) and I dont know why. I havent gotten a ticket, pulled over or anything. I mean at school I get parking infractions and stuff and it says ' your license plate has been reported to the police department' but ive gotten multiples of those and have friends that have gotten way more and nothing happens. So I want to know a reason on why the insurance would be going up. Thanks""

How much would insurance cost me on a v6 camaro?

it is a 1988 camaro and i would just have the cheapest coverage and i am 16 any ideas on how much it would cost me?

How much is it for car insurance for a 16 yrs old in long island ny?

i am gonna be driving a ford station wagon 1989 escort

How much are geckos i found one for 7.00. at petco i thought they were a lot more money.?

a while back i went to petco and seen it. It was a bright green gecko. it looked like the one from the car insurance place and it was like 3-4 inches but it was 7.00 so i was just wondering.

What are the minimum state requirements for car insurance in california?

What are the minimum state requirements for car insurance in california?

How much would it be for a 20 year old male car insurance?

I am 20 , male in California driving a 2000 Honda civic how much will my insurance be ?? First time being under insurance . And please don't send me links trying to bribe me with your insurance . Please help""

Are Honda's usually expensive on insurance?

Also what are some good looking cars that arn't to bad with insurance (I know that it all depends but still) oh and we have geico, thanks!""

florida farm bureau auto insurance quote

florida farm bureau auto insurance quote

Car insurance PROBLEM HELP!?

Hi i've just bought a little suzuki SJ410 jeep 1.0L. the jeep was advertised as a SJ410VB. So i put that into my insuance quote before i got the jeep and it was very cheap 800. Anyway now i have the jeep i have found out it is s SJ410VBJA. So i put that model into the insurance quote and now it is 3,904!!!! WHAT? It is basically the same jeep 2 seats and same engine. So whats going off? Should i contact the insurance company? I can't afford almost 4,000!!! HELP! And i'm now stuck with it!""

How does and underage affect insurance?

A friend of mine was just charged with an underage but was accepted into the ARD program. We are wondering how this is going to affect her auto insurance policy.

Are Insurance company annuities insured by the government of the USA?

Are Insurance company annuities insured by the government of the USA?

How much would car insurance cost for a 17 year old?

Hey I will be turning 17 in a month and I was wondering how much car insurance will cost. I Think I will be going under my parents plan. I will either be getting my dads 05 range rover or an 03 nissan 350z. I have geico and live in NY if that helps. About how much would it cost to insure each car?

Can anyone tell me what finding a cheap car insurance company?

I am a 60 year old female. I live in the rural part of Mississippi (little traffic and no heavy traffic, if it matters) I have two cars that are insured with Geico Insurance company. I am paying $93 dollars per month. One car is a 95 and the others one is (new) a Hyundai 2012. I never drive the 95 Buick. I will be driving the new Hyundai to and from work around 7 miles round trip, each day. My driving record is clean with everything intact and I am the only driver. I was informed by Geico that the 94 dollars is cheaper than other insurance companies. Are there any cheaper insurance out there.""

Affordable maternity insurance?

Affordable maternity insurance?

Will my insurance go up that much if I buy a Camaro?

I currently have a 96 Pontiac Sunfire and I have Erie insurance which through them I have liability only on my car and my rates are $60.00 a month....I am 18,19 years old next month and I found on craigslist a guy who is desperately wanting to get rid of his camaro and is willing to trade it straight up for my sunfire,as he and his gf are having a baby and she wants him to get rid of his toy....now this camaro is a 95,fully loaded automatic,t tops, leather interior etc...and my sunfire is the basic model,manual windows,locks etc....so obviously Id be making out very well in value....now I am on my own insurance and my mother chewed me out when I told her about me maybe trading for this camaro...will my insurance go up THAT much?""

Will my car insurance go up?

Recently I was parked outside of my boyfriend's house and somebody had pulled out of a driveway and hit my car, leaving a big hole in my fender and a bit of a bend in the bumper. I had done absolutely nothing wrong, I wasn't even aware it had happened until somebody said they saw it. Nothing illegal was done on my behalf. They have been nothing but rude to me so I want to put it through my insurance, and I was wondering if MY insurance will go up because of this?""

Can you recommend me a good health insurance?

I missed out on signing up for healthy insurance where I work and I'm becoming worried that I might have to go see the doctor soon. So I'd like to get a good quality ...show more

How much would car insurance cost a 16 year old guy?

I live in Connecticut and drive a 2004 volvo xc90 2.5t. I have a 3.5 gpa and will most likely have insurance with middlesex mutual. What can I expect my car insurance to cost per month/year?

How much would insurance for a motorcycle cost for a 17 year old?

How much approximately for a 17 yr old with a 250 ninja? what about a 600cc bike? I do not have my drivers license yet, only my permit and I would get a learners permit on my bike. How much do you think it will cost?""

Affordable healthcare?

What's the best way to provide affordable healthcare to all our citizens?

Health Insurance for Immigrant 65+?

My parents and I are bringing my grandmother from India and were trying to find an affordable health insurance plan for her. She has never worked in the U.S.A. so she is not eligilble for Medicare or other programs like it. She has pre-existing conditions. I was hoping to get $100,000 of coverage, but I would appreciate all the options I have so please list them all. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP!""

How to insure my car if I go to live in France?

I'm moving to France soon and I would like to keep my english car. Insurance companies are asking for the bonus-malus and I don't know the equivalent in english...so they can't tell me how much it would be...Does anybody had to insure their car in France? What do I need to do? thanks xxxx

I have Kansas Progressive Auto insurance. Will my insurance drop when I turn 25? And if so approx how much?

Any answers pertaining to age 25 &/or the state of KS is helpful. I can't find anything on Progressive relating to age & insurance rates. Thanks!

I need help car insurance?

Im looking to buy a 2010 fusion se right now through Lee auto. For me to do it myself I'd have to pay almost 400 dollars a month for insurance and 360 for The car. Is there any way I can lower my insurance? This is rediculius all I have is 2 speeding tickets and that's it on my driving record. I have no loans no payments or nothing.

Why is motorcycle insurance so expensive?

...for so many people. I see complaints everywhere about sport bike insurance being so crazy. I just bought my first bike, 2 months ago. 1 month after getting my license. I'm 18 years old. My first bike was a 2004 Yamaha R6. I used Progressive online and put in everything accurately, driving history, motorcycle history (0 years), first bike being a 600cc sport bike. And I got quoted 300 dollars a year... bought it in full. Why is it so expensive for others with good history?""

94 firebird formula v8 insurance rate?

I'm turning 16 and I am getting the 94 firebird out of the garage. how much do you think it will cost for insurance for me? and how much do you think it would cost under an adult insurance rate?

Fast cheap automatic sedan?

Im looking for a first car. I need a 4 door sedan because insurance is cheaper, I need an automatic car because manual seems hard. How long would it take to learn stick shift by the way? Price rage is $12,000 at the most! I've been looking at the Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V, MazdaSpeed Proteges, and Volkswagen GTI. I realize that some of them are manual.""

Violations that show up on insurance quotes in nj?

About 2 years ago i got a ticket for not stopping at a stop sign. I went to court and they knocked it down to something so i wouldn't get any point and just pay a fine. I don't remember what they knocked it down to. But why is it still a concern on my auto insurance. I didn't get any points so should it matter?

What is the cheapest liability insurance for teens? ?

Hi, im 17 years old and i am looking for liability insurance for my jeep cherokee. im a guy, not a girl... What would be the cheapest liability insurance for me?""

Looking for health Insurance?

I'm looking for affordable health insurance with good coverage and options for doctors. A PPO is okay but I'm looking for quality AND affordability. Dental and vision would be a great plus. Can anybody out there help me!?!

Why did the emergency room need auto insurance?

We slammed on brakes to avoid car running red light no collision hospital made copies of auto insurance for dh headache and sore neck why and will insurance be notified and will rates go up live in northern Minnesota

Those self-employed: can you share a good health insurance that's affordable?

I have found only quotes over $300 a month. Those that were under $100 had a.. drum roll....deductible of over 10,000 dollars! I need health insurance, but can't afford it. Ironically, my dogs have it and I cannot afford it for me.""

Insurance for scion tc 2008?

i wanted to get the scion tc 2008 but my dad said the insurance is too high for 2 doors car or something like that.. does anyone kno any good and cheap insurance place they can recommend? thankyou

florida farm bureau auto insurance quote

florida farm bureau auto insurance quote

Car insurance rates for teens?

I just got my drivers license a little more than a month ago. My parents are telling me that they're going to wait for another year before they add me to their insurance policy because it'll be less expense by then. Is this true? I also read somewhere that the earlier you add a teen to your insurance policy, the rates will lower quicker because they insurance company know that i'll have some experience by then. So if my parents add me to their insurance policy now, would it be lower in a year compared to them waiting a year for them to add me?""

Who has cheap auto insurance in Austin?

I need to find auto insurance that is not as much as my car payment. Can anyone suggest an agency please?

How much does it cost to go for an eye exam in new jersey without insurance?

I want to get my eyes checked and have no insurance.I was wondering how much it would cost? Is lenscrafters good or more expensive? pearl vision?

Where can I get car insurance in Colorado (during the wildfires)?

I applied for auto insurance today and got the message, We Are Unable to Complete Your Request. Coverage is not available in your location because of a natural disaster or other emergency situation. I just bought a new car and now I can't drive it until these stupid fires go out, but I still have to go to work, still have to go to the grocery store, etc So what am I supposed to do? My daily life has not changed from the fire, and I need to be able to drive!!""

Which Is the best car insurance?

Hi everyone!! I am a 20 year old single mother. At the moment, I am studying and also about to get back into work. I have just passed my driving test and looking to buy a car....realistically, I think at this point a used one is ok even though I saw a site that sells cars and you can pay on installments. If I wanted a Ford KA, or a Mini Cooper, or a Renault (the one from the I see you baby shaking that asss advert few years ago), which insurance company is best and can give me a good cheaper deal. Thank you!!!! p.s manual cars are my focal point.""

Does speeding tickets raise your insurance?

I've gotten 2 speeding tickets this month so I'm worried. Does this raise your insurance rates?

""I am 21, and have been driving since I was 16. How much will my insurance be?

My parents always paid for my insurance (dont hate) and now I want to use the car for a courier service. How much do you think my insurance will cost me?

Where to find a reliable and cheap insurance for my 2008 car?

I'm frustrated with my previous insurance company, it's expensive and unreliable which means most of the time they dont pay my claims. :'(""

How much has your health insurance gone up since the affordable health care act was passed?

I just got notice mine went up by 33.5% last week. Why is my insurance getting less affordable instead of more affordable?

A few questions about insurance and registration?

Hello - I'm about to purchase a motorcycle for the first time and would like a little information concerning a few things: (I don't believe this is really specific to motorcycles) -Can you get your insurance policy (Progressive, for example) to be completely paper-free and only deliver your statements by e-mail? -Does the address you send your registration have to match the one you live at? -Does the address you send your insurance information have to match the one you tell the insurance company you live at? Thanks!""

Need cheap no-name insurance companies for motorcycle insurance?

Well, i live in Florida where motorcycle insurance is not required at all. But I need comprehensive insurance at least (and maybe liability too) so that I wont have to cry over a stolen bike after a week of purchase. I'm buying this bike in cash (2008 ninja 250R) and still big insurance companies like progressive and geico will charge me a thousand bucks a year for liability and comprehensive coverages alone. So, I need to know the names of some small insurance companies who wont use their big and flashy names to jack up their prices. please help. I dont wanna pay 1000 bucks a year for a 3500 dollar bike. Thanks.""

Insurance cost for jeep patriot?

I am currently thinking of buying a 2008 jeep patriot. I am worried if the unsurance cost for it would be high?

Business Insurance?

Also what type of insurance does one need for a dollar store?

What kind of car insurance covers takeaway deliveries?

Hi, I am soon starting a (very) part-time job delivering chinese food one day a week, 5 hours. I have been trying to find out what sort of insurance I need for my car as I am only covered for SD&P. I got a quote for one company who insured for business use, but they wouldn't cover takeaway deliveries! And my current insurer doesn't do anything like it. I know that places like Domino's and Pizza Hut provide supplemental insurance for their drivers, but this place doesn't do anything of the sort and I don't want to get caught out, especially for something like this? Thanks :)""

Annuity insurance in colorado?

what is my coverage for an annuity under Colorado law?

How much is the average price of veneer on your teeth ( average price)?

Only done to the front two teeth.

Cheapest car to insure/ run in UK for a 21 year old female?

Someone said Renault Clio. Then someone said no, because they're branded boy racers. Then someone said Vauxhall Corsa. But then they're supposed to break down frequently. I don't like Ford Ka's or Micra's. Help me please! Aha x""

Cheapest full coverage auto insurance?

Which companies offer low priced full coverage? Preferably around a $700 - $800 premium

How much does a married couple spend on monthly bills?

house, insurance car..etc... Im trying to plan ahead and want to know what I'm in for and if I can manage it with two teachers salaries. oh, it would be great if you can tell me a round number of each thing. and yes, i know everyone varies, but I'd like to see what everyone else has. thanks!""

When my boyfriend turned 18 he lost his health insurance. where can he get health insurance at?

He doesn't see the importance of it, but I know he needs it. dental and health insurance. He doesn't make a lot of money either.""

""My father's health insurance was inadvertently cut-off, can I add him on to my health insurance plan?""

My father's health insurance was inadvertently cut-off, can I add him on to my health insurance plan?""

Is it legal to have two health insurances?

I am currently under my parents' insurance, however nobody accepts it where I am staying for the summer. At the end of august, I am going to be going back to college and they have a student heallth insurance that is accepted anywhere in the world. I want to get this insurance and stay on my parents' insurance because my parents' insurance has more benefits and I have a condition with my teeth that is very expensive to treat and my parents' insurance covers it completely. I doubt my schools insurance would do that. I just want to be able to be treated while I am in school where the area doesn't accept my current insurance. Is it legal for me to have my student insurance as well as my parents' insurance?""

Buying first car and auto insurance question.?

I just got pre-approval for an auto loan. I do not even have a car in mind yet. My question is when do I contact insurance companies? Should I look at cars, pick on I like, and then contact car insurance companies about quotes or should I call them before I even go browsing? Im just a little lost. Also, I hear car insurance is flipping crazy for young men. Im a 22/Male in New Mexico so if anyone has insight or suggestions I would appreciate it :)""

Discount car insurance by putting another name on my insurance?

I know plenty of people the same age as me, 19 who have put another persons name on their car insurance eg. family or friends so its cheaper due to the other persons experiance, my mum passed her test when she was 21 but has never drove a car or owned a car herself since... so would putting her name on my insurance be pointless.???""

""If i pay CASH for a street bike [motorcycle], do i still have to get insurance?""

certainly i wont have to get full coverage since it will be paid for, but am i required to get liability, as i would with a car? if you show me a link to a website that backs up your answer, i will select you for the best answer.""

florida farm bureau auto insurance quote

florida farm bureau auto insurance quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/health-insurance-quotes-wisconsin-alexander-ross/"

[suebarr]

The Perfect Christmas Present (for a Jew)

I would like to tell u a story and like all good stories it starts... Once upon a time …and like all good stories there’s a struggle, a longing and then when hope is almost gone a miracle happens.

Once upon a time there was a woman who had an awesome life. She traveled the world and worked with fashion designers, dated male models and partied with rock stars but her heart was empty. She tried to fill the emptiness with lovers and designer clothes and exotic vacations but nothing filled the gaping hole in her heart.

That woman was me. I was in my early 30’s and it was the naughty 90’s.  I was  was a fashion stylist and editor. Styling Big Brand Commercials, Print Ads, Rock Stars and Fashion Magazines.  Sony, Coca Cola and L’Oreal, Brett Micheals, Bon Jovi, Hall & Oats , The Fashion section of the NY Times and the Italian Magazine Donna were among my daily clients. No matter how successful I was  my heart was empty. I was so blessed that my career took me to so many wonderful places and introduced to me to all types of amazing people but I seemed to always be searching for that something or someone to fill my aching heart. I even changed careers to become a photographer mid decade thinking that being the creator would help the loneliness and despair I felt within.

One sunny day my career took me to a palm tree shaded neighborhood in the outskirts of Miami where i met the most adorable 2 year old and his mom. She was bright, loving and seemed so well adjusted as she told me her tale of becoming a single mother by choice. I knew right then and there that everything I was blessed with needed to be shared with my own child. I knew that I needed to fill my heart with giggles and blue ices and rollercoaster rides, fill my heart with the simplicity of childhood. I realized the cure for my ache was becoming a mother.

But like all good stories, this revelation was just the beginning of a long and painful journey. I signed up at a sperm bank and chose my child’s father from a stack of dossiers. I chose a Sperm donor #6930, a 6 foot tall, dark haired Ivy Leagued Russian scholar who I nicknamed Ivan.  For over a year I monitored my cycle and did artificial insemination with Ivan twice a month and and a turkey baster.  And after a year of failure and my biological clock  passionately ticking away I invested the last of my savings into a round of artificial insemination. My hormones were raging from both the drugs and this secret desire to be a mom.  The IVF didn’t work and I was referred to a fertility specialist. It  seemed like the ache in my heart was growing to a cavernous level that could never be filled. It took 6 more months before I had a my appointment with a renowned fertility specialist who basically told me my clock had stopped ticking. His solution was I should buy donor eggs. Donor eggs and Sperm from a sperm bank was his solution. He even suggested how I could get discount eggs! .

At that very moment I had an epiphany that pregnancy was not the only way to fulfill my desire to become a mother. I thanked him  for his time with tears in eyes and  left his office with a bit hope filling the emptiness in my heart. It had taken almost a decade since I had decided to become a mother and I was 43 years old but so much had changed the world around me and with me. Michelle Pfeiffer, Madonna, Sharon Stone and Rosie had all become single mothers by choice as well as everyday, hard working middle aged woman. Single motherhood was all the rage and I felt comfortable talking to everyone about the possibilities of adoption.

I photographed families and kids and openly envied the adorableness of each and every baby I captured through my lens. Then one day as the holidays were approaching and that emptiness of not having a family started creeping into my heart again another amazing woman with the most adorable 6 year old daughter shared her personal journey of motherhood as she handed me a tattered business card and said I too could become a mom.

On the card was printed Steve Sklar, Adoption lawyer with an 800 phone #. I immediately called the # and was told they had a new jersey office and could meet with me in less than a month and discuss my options. Visions of childhood danced in my head and filled my heart again with the hope of giggles, and rollercoaster rides and blue raspberry ices.

My 44th birthday approached and days afterwards I met with the lawyer and he explained the process of domestic adoptions. My choices were varied and in a split second I decided the only thing that was important was I wanted a newborn with 10 fingers and toes. I didn’t care about race or sex or anything else.

So much to do to get ready for my bundle of joy that my heart was filling up with the hope on anticipation.  Home studies, and legal stuff as well as referrals from the community to gather and a  heartfelt dossier of pictures and words of why I wanted to be a mom addressed to an unknown woman somewhere in the country who would read it and chose me to her babies mommy. Somehow this all seemed manageable and easier than anything else I had tried but to guard myself from another devastating blow of defeat I gave myself a deadline. This would happen within the year and if my 45th birthday came first I would just give up and not look back. My heart just could not fill up and empty out so many times without becoming permanently broken so I swore I would be happy knowing that I gave my all to the journey of motherhood.

Unfortunately there was even more heartache to come. My family were all adamantly against my decision to become a mom on my own and would not discuss the process with me. Three birth mothers chose me, only to renege on the option of adoption at the last minute. One as I was was on route to the hospital, another newborn 4. 3 oz bundle of joy was placed in my arms in April but then when she was suppose to be released from the Neonatal Unit the birth mom changed her mind. Each time the agony of loss was more excruciating but my heart was still filled with idea of mommyhood. I photographed at carnivals and beaches and lovingly captured childhood for families across the country as I ached for my own.

Like all good stories, , when you wait long enough and you believe eventually something positive happens.  And it did! …  On one very cold gray December day a few weeks before my 45th birthday the phone rang. I almost didn’t answer as the holidays were approaching and i just couldn't bare another mindless sales call or worse an invite to some friends joyous family get together. I did answer the phone and on the other end was literally an angel. Well an angel in a bit of a bind. Someone who needed me as much as I needed her. A young woman named Dawn, who had a baby in her tummy but no room in her heart for the little soul would be arriving into the world very soon! It seemed that she thought I would an awesome mommy to the baby in her tummy.  One heart would be healed and the other would be filled with smiles and roller coasters and blue ices and the mummy rides at st leos fair.  A win win situation.

So that December I thought would be my saddest ever became so joyous as I filled my home with all that would make make my baby giggle and grow in this wonderful world. Friends and clients from far and wide brought cribs and cradles and bottles and bibs, high chairs and playpens, swings and stuffe animals, blankets and lovey’s and so many things that my home was filled just like my heart.

The days passed, my 45th birthday came and went and the holidays were looming and the angel lady with the baby in her tummy stopped calling. I just couldnt believe another birth mom had changed her mind. It seemed I was living a nightmare and there would never be a happy beginning to my story.  Hanukkah passed and then Christmas eve did to, and the ache in my heart was just unbearable. The sun was rising on a cold barren christmas morning and the phone rang at 6:45 AM and I just couldn bear to answer and hear some joyous well wishing friend with a loving family invite me to spend a merry day with them.  I did finally answer the ring and it was Dawn, that lovely angel lady with a baby in her tummy wishing me the Merriest Christmas. Well she didn't actually wish me a merry christmas , she told me she was on the way to the hospital and I should come as soon as I could to meet my baby. Literally, I grabbed a suitcase of diapers and onesies and a pile of cash and raced to the airport as she was in Tennessee ( i forgot a change of underwear and a warm jacket for myself).

I arrived in the hospital when the sun was gently setting behind the mountains, walked down the longest corridor in the biggest hospital I had ever been to. Every step was filled with boo boos and band Aids and kisses and pool splashes and homework and Saturday morning cartoons and pajama days and movie nights. All the things that fill a heart and make a mommy: As I walked down that hall I knew I was walking into the beginning of my happy story. I was becoming a mom and I knew it would be the greatest journey I would ever take.

I opened the hospital door and there was this tiny precious bundle of poop and burps and diapers and onesies who swaddled tighly in his hospital blanket and smiled right at me. He had the biggest smile a tiny little soul could ever have and my heart was immediately filled with something so big andI just didn’t know how to describe it. It was love

And our life as a family started. Yes it was filled with smiles and giggles and glee and definately blue raspberry ices and rollercoasters and mummy rides at St Leos fair . And so much more, good things and hard things and funny things and even some sad things but mostly so much more then I could have ever dreamt of.  Two moms, a birth mom and an adoptive mom together healed each other’s hearts and a tiny little soul is growing up to become a shining star.

When he was just 4 years old he looked at me one Christmas morning as he was opening his presents and said Mom it’s amazing that everyone celebrates my birthday. On  Christmas Morning please remember to wish Jake happy birthday as I will always remember to wish all a very merry!

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