#Madison Scouts

[dciyaoi]

All of the original Midwest Combine and remaining founding members at 2024 DCI finals recreating the same photo from 1971

[green-cargaytions]

[musubi-sama]

3: A song that reminds you of summertime

5: A song that needs to be played LOUD

13: One of your favorite 80's songs

Some music asks 😊

Ahhh this is fun, thank you for the picks!

3. It's not specifically a song, but this entire 2011 show from the Madison Scouts. They were the first drum corps I'd seen live, and it was just the most impressive thing. Earlier in the day my friend took me to see a different corps rehearsing and I was summarily impressed. But he'd promised that one of the ensembles at the show would blow me away.

And they literally did. We were walking around the warm-up lots before the show and he saw the Scouts, walked us over to watch. They were facing a tall brick wall (I think it was the side of a school auditorium) and he stood behind me. I've been a musician my whole life, so I was aware they were about to start playing, I saw the cues etc. But the moment sound came out, I literally fell back into my friend. He just laughed and held my shoulders in place. Just a stunning volume of sound. Brass. A core memory. If you don't listen to the entire thing, the peak of the performance is around 10:30. you'll understand why.

5. Honestly, drum corps music needs to be blasted. Always. But I'll pick a different genre instead.

This needs to be turned up to 11 to cover up all the crying I do whenever I listen to it. A culmination of an 8 year story, compelling villains, intrigue, and interest. A story that embraced it's MMO vehicle. Close in the Distance is more than "just" videogame music. The way it is deployed within the game and mechanics, the lyrics, the ties into the story narrative itself.

Fun fact: the composer, Masayoshi Soken, autographed my arm back in 2018 and I had it committed to a tattoo. And he's seen it!

13. I love a lot of music from the 80s, although I don't listen to it super often. But one of my all time favorites would be Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Iron Maiden. When we studied it in 9th grade English class, I mentioned it to my dad and he immediately whipped out this song. And then some time after 2010 I saw them on tour and they performed it in its entirety!! My life was complete, then.

[arrthurpendragon]

Top Gun: Maverick OCs

So . . . I finally watched the movie. haha.

Scout Fields x Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw

Paige Spara

Teacher

Thinks she found her biological father after doing a 23 and Me and is working up the courage to introduce herself. 

Madison “Yoda” Li x Jake 'Hangman' Seresin

Phillipa Soo

Uptight at work, but knows how to let loose

Karaoke Queen

Zoie Sommers x Robert “Bob” Floyd

Maisie Richardson-Sellers

bartender

[irlpretear]

100 trans/genderqueer musicians

Bands

Against Me! (rock, folk punk) (x)

The Oozes (punk) (x)

The Hirs Collective (metal, grindcore) (x)

GEL (hardcore punk) (x)

Urn (hardcore punk) (x)

The Black Dresses (noise pop, hardcore hyperpop) (x)

Party Ghost (rock) (x)

Lagrimas (hardcore punk, scream punk) (x)

Doll Skin (rock) (x)

Dazey and the Scouts (rock, indie) (x)

G.L.O.S.S. (hardcore punk) (x)

Dog Park Dissidents (punk rock) (x)

She/Her/hers (rock) (x)

Deli Girls (hardcore electronic) (x)

Dream Nails (punk rock) (x)

Sarah and the Safe Word (rock, dark cabaret) (x)

Pinkie Promise (punk rock) (x)

B. Fraser (emo) (x)

Newgrounds Death Rugby (emo) (x)

Scowl (hardcore punk) (x)

Feminazgul (black metal) (x)

Sports Bra (dream pop, light rock) (x)

Club Sofa (indie pop) (x)

The Cost ov Living (grindcore, harsh noise) (x)

Kuromy (punk) (x)

The Sonder Bombs (indie, pop) (x)

Lidocaine (rock) (x)

I'm letting unseen forces take the wheel (cybergrind) (x)

Gum Disease (punk) (x)

Cam Girl (rock, trash rock) (x)

Gully Boys (grunge pop) (x)

Arcadia Grey (sparkle punk) (x)

Schmekel (folk punk) (x)

Destructo Disk (punk rock) (x)

User Unauthorized (hardcore punk) (x)

The Spook School (indie pop) (x)

Pinkshift (emo) (x)

Glass Beach (emo) (x)

Butch Baby (light rock) (x)

VIAL (indie punk) (x)

Sister Wife Sex Strike (folk punk) (x)

homewrecker. (metal, hardcore punk) (x)

Mega Mango (indie rock) (x)

Keep For Cheap (prarie rock) (x)

Steam Powered Giraffe (cabaret, steampunk) (x)

Thotcrime (grindcore, cybergrind) (x)

Whirlybird (indie pop) (x)

Kampsport (hardcore punk) (x)

Um Jennifer? (alt-rock, punk) (x)

Scarlet Demore (alt-rock) (x)

HappyHappy (folk, folk-punk) (x)

Queen Zee (punk) (x)

Grumpy Plum (slop pop) (x)

Cheap Perfume (punk) (x)

Pollyanna (power-pop, rock) (x)

Ballista (metalcore) (x)

Faetooth (fairy doom, metal) (x)

Lacerated (death metal) (x)

Fortuna Malvada (hardcore punk) (x)

Peach Rings (bedroom power-pop) (x)

Solo Artists

Laura Jane Grace (rock, folk punk) (x)

Left at London (pop) (x)

ZAND (pop, ugly pop) (x)

Ada Rook (hardcore electronic) (x)

Ms. White (pop) (x)

Rett Madison (indie, folk) (x)

Murder Person for Hire (folk) (x)

Backxwash (rap, industrial hip hop) (x)

LustSickPuppy (electronic, rap) (x)

Babylungs (electronic, rap) (x)

Human Kitten (folk punk) (x)

Harley Poe (folk punk) (x)

Ewy (emo, folk punk) (x)

Averstaskta (instrumental) (x)

Andie Schoen (indie) (x)

Elliot Lee (dark pop, electronic rock) (x)

Urias (hip hop, ballroom) (x)

Twink Obliterator* (cybergrind) (x)

Rio Romeo (cabaret punk, indie) (x)

Knife Girl (art pop, indie) (x)

Alexander James Adams (folk) (x)

Starmaxx (pop) (x)

Sofya Wang (pop, alt-R&B) (x)

Boy Jr (indie/alt pop) (x)

Medusa (revenge pop, hip-hop) (x)

Mal Blum (singer-songwriter, folk) (x)

Gina Young (riot grrrl) (x)

Petra Fiyd (indie pop) (x)

awfultune (bedroom pop) (x)

Quinn Hills (alternative pop) (x)

Femtanyl (electronic) (x)

Vivivivivi (electronic, glitchcore) (x)

Lilac Boy (glitchcore) (x)

Rosie Tucker (indie rock) (x)

Ryan Cassata (singer-songwriter) (x)

Pain Chain (noise, synth) (x)

In Love With A Ghost (electronic, lo-fi) (x)

Alice Longyu Gao (hyperpop) (x)

Prophetic Nightmares (ambient synthwave) (x)

Saint Wellesley (indie folk) (x)

[mr-thundercloud]

Demon twins au (Pt 2/5-6?)

(Link to the Pt.1)

-------------------------Same Pov as last time--------------------------

Compartmentalizing had always been my way. I learned early on that emotions could be a liability, an impediment to my mission. But as I sped toward Wayne Manor, my heartbeat drummed an erratic rhythm in my chest, each pulse a reminder that I had just discovered I had a son, a son who was in danger.

Traffic was nonexistent, and I hit every green light, but I felt as if the very air in my lungs was suffocating me. Each second is impossibly long. Images flashed through my mind: a boy with dark hair and an impish grin that mirrored my own. The worst-case scenarios clawed at my thoughts, but I shoved them aside. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—let grief overtake me. Not now.

When I entered the Cave, Damian was already working furiously at the Batcomputer, analyzing the video where Danny appeared, a fleeting shadow caught against a window. There was uncertainty in the frame, but we knew it was enough to find him.

I suited up quickly, the familiar weight of the cowl settling over my face, my heart steadying as I did so. All the world faded away, save for my son’s fragile existence hanging in the balance and my singular focus: save Danny.

Damian and I wasted no time. Through the crack in the window of that grainy footage, we could see an expanse—an unmarked yard with only a distant sign that read RK, ILLINOIS, a three-digit population number I could not decipher yet. Discussions turned into lists and plans. The mundane rattled in stark contrast to the urgency in the air.

With the locations narrowed down to six, I could sense my pulse quickening again—not from haste but from fear. What if we were too late? Mental checks and balances slipped as the thought danced across my mind, but I suppressed it. Running Danny’s image through facial recognition, I felt a flicker of hope.

“Daniel Fenton, Amity Park,” I read aloud, the name heavy with implications. I could hear my heart thumping as both excitement and dread coursed through me. I was a man on a mission, but now, more than ever, I was a father.

We took flight in the Batplane, the roar of the engines drowning out the frantic pounding in my chest. Damian was on the lookout for any sign of movement on the streets, relaying any potential clues. The silence between us weighed like steel, rich with unspoken truths.

I broke the stillness, drawn to my son’s story. “Why didn’t you tell me?” The question hung in the air, sharp and biting.

Damian’s voice was steady but tinged with something more resounding. “When an assassin is killed, they are erased,” he replied, and I felt an ache for the son I didn’t know, an ache that twisted and coiled. “He was forgotten…until now.”

“What’s he like?” I dared to ask, urgency blending with curiosity.

“Danny is older than me,” he began, a tremor of pride creeping into his tone. “He prefers gardens, avoids unnecessary violence… He defied our grandfather’s wishes quietly. He’s more than what they made him to be." Laying bare my son’s defiance and individuality pierced through the armor I wore like an extra skin. I was building a picture of a boy who was both mine and not mine—a spirit living in the shadow of my world.

As we zoomed into Madison, the van’s trail flickering across Damian’s tablet drew my focus. “They have government identification,” he reported, an alarming new detail. It reminded us both that this was bigger than just family—this was a battle.

When the white van vanished from the screen, leaving nothing but question marks, we powered down the Batplane miles from the town. Each sharp breath echoed the growing weight of responsibility. We used our bikes to scout the area, adrenaline thrumming.

The cottage stood in sharp contrast to the looming castle registered under the mayor’s name. It begged investigation, hushed whispers felt like echoes of the past. Two buildings, two purposes—a question to unravel.

“Let’s check the cottage first,” I declared, and as we approached that weathered façade, my heart sank with the looming reality. The world shrunk to one singular thought: I was going to save my son. No more compartmentalizing; this was personal now.

I would find Danny. I had to. Before the darkness could claim him, I would wield my fears as a shield. I had only just found him; I wasn’t about to lose him again.

[medium-observation]

September Release!

The Lord of the Rings - Chicago Shakespeare Theater

August 28, 2024 (Matinée) - Medium Observation

Video

Cast:

Spencer Davis Milford (Frodo), Michael Kurowski (Sam), Lauren Zakrin (Galadriel), Ben Mathew (Pippin), Will James Jr. (Aragorn/Strider), Tom Amandes (Gandalf), Tony Bozzuto (Gollum), Alina Taber (Arwen), Eileen Doan (Merry), Matthew C. Yee (Boromir), Justin Albinder (Legolas), Ian Maryfield (Gimli), Jeff Parker (Elrond/Saruman), Rick Hall (Bilbo Baggins/Steward), Suzanne Hannau (Rosie Cotton), John Lithgow (Voice of Treebeard), Joey Faggion (Ensemble), Mia Hilt (Ensemble), James Mueller (Ensemble), Jarais Musgrove (Ensemble), Hannah Novak (Ensemble), Adam Qutaishat (Ensemble), Laura Savage (Ensemble), Bernadette Santos Schwegel (Ensemble), Ty Shay (s/w Ensemble), Luke Nowakowski (s/w Ensemble)

Notes:

Fantastic capture of this incredibly immersive and beautiful production. there is a bar in the bottom right corner of the screen that doesn't take away except for one moment where Gandalf and Frodo are talking on the stairs in act one, but overall I worked around it and you can always see Frodo and sometimes Gandalf. At points people are in the audience and I wasn't able to capture them but you can always hear them and I do my best to always try to make sure to capture anything in the audience that I could. Some washout and shakiness throughout.

NFT Date: March 1st, 2025

Screenshots: https://flic.kr/s/aHBqjBFvi6

Video is $20

Moulin Rouge! The Musical - First US National Tour

April 7, 2024 - Medium Observation

Video

Cast:

Christian Douglas (Christian), Nicci Claspell (u/s Satine), Amar Atkins (u/s Harold Zidler), Nick Rashad Burroughs (Toulouse-Lautrec), Andrew Brewer (The Duke of Monroth), Jordan Vasquez (u/s Santiago), Sarah Bowden (Nini), Renee Marie Titus (La Chocolat), Adea Michelle Sessoms (u/s Arabia), Max Heitmann (Baby Doll), Kamal Lado (Pierre), Tommy Gedrich, Tamrin Goldberg, Cameron Hobbs, Nathaniel Hunt, Chloe Rae Kehm, Melissa Hunter McCann, Luke Monday, Tanisha Moore, Kenneth Michael Murray, Elyse Niederee, Omar Nieves, Kent Overshown, Stefanie Renee Salyers, Connor McRory

Notes:

Really beautiful capture of Nicci, Amar and Jordan as Satine, Zidler and Santiago respectively. Some washout and shakiness throughout.

NFT Date: March 1st, 2025

Screenshots: https://www.flickr.com/gp/196227588@N02/a6RiV4g980

Video is $20

Beetlejuice - First US National Tour

June 30, 2024 - Medium Observation

Video

Cast:

Justin Collette (Beetlejuice), Isabella Esler (Lydia Deetz), Megan McGinnis (Barbara Maitland), Will Burton (Adam Maitland), Jesse Sharp (Charles Deetz), Sarah Litzsinger (Delia Deetz), Hillary Porter (Miss Argentina), Abe Goldfarb (Otho), Brian Vaughn (Maxie Dean), Maria Sylvia Norris (Maxine Dean/Juno), Madison Mosley (Girl Scout)

Notes:

Beautiful Capture of Abe, Larkin and Haley's last performance with the company. My camera was having a lot of issues for Act 1, 2 minutes is missing during ready set (still has audio), And then after every song there's a short 2 second blackout. Act 2 is perfect with no issues with my camera. Also the last US stop before a month break and then Mexico! Some washout and shakiness throughout.

NFT Date: March 1st, 2025

Screenshots: https://www.flickr.com/gp/196227588@N02/7B2h6860bv

Video is $18

Videos can be purchased through me at mediumobservationtrading@gmail.com

Discord Server: https://discord.gg/ZGMqkeb9p5

[moirtre]

do the members have backstory’s ? if they do what are they ?

yes they do! here's a very very quick rundown, i'm not sure if i'll do a little drabble series on their family dynamics but here's their backstories so they're out there!

 ‎ ‎ ┉       *       ﹙ㅤʬ              ›             NAIRA LIESE CHRISTIANSEN.

naira is a norweigian singer and actress born to norweigian investment banker, jesper christiansen and his wife, former miss universe, dauenphen prempree on december 2, 1993. naira was raised alongside her older brother, lukas, between her parents' two native countries. though most of her schooling took place at the top private schools in oslo, naira has publicly acknowledged chiang mai, thailand as her true hometown.

hailing from a very well-off family, naira was forced to grow up quicker than most. notably, the others often voice their irritation with naira's composure as it is quite unclear what she thinks or feels at any given moment. this trait is attributed to her mother who suffered through years of racial abuse at the hands of the european media without the defense of her husband or his family.

naira's interest in music never truly took off until she was in high school. after coming across a video of apricus culture soloist allison nam in 2008, naira grew fond of the korean music industry, secretly convincing her older brother to take her to auditions while in chaing mai. after being accepted into several companies, naira decided to join gemini entertainment's trainee program in 2010, hoping later to be matched with apricus.

after training for three years, naira was the fifth member chosen for letalis' final lineup. despite being offered the leader position, naira turned it down claiming, "she wasn't ready to be tied to the group's reputation." currently, naira is a SUB VOCALIST and official VISUAL of the group, occasionally taking part in thai and norweigian-language melodramas and soap operas under her birth name.

 ‎ ‎ ┉       *       ﹙ㅤʬ              ›             MELANIE BAE.

melanie is an australian singer-songwriter born in brisbane on june 12, 1994. her parents, jason and marissa, are working-class korean-australians who raised melanie and her older sister, madison, quite comfortably along the australian west coast. melanie is very close to her family who all frequently appear on her social media and are always acknowledged in her album dedications.

the two bae sisters found a love for performing quite early on with melanie following in her sister's footsteps participating in dance competitions across the country. though madison would give up dance to pursue a fashion design degree in europe after graduating from high school in 2008, melanie would continue to work towards what she planned to be a professional career in dance.

while at a mall with friends, melanie would be approached by an apricus culture talent scout who persuaded her to audition for the company in july of 2010. during her time as a trainee, melanie would be given several opportunities to stir up attention for the company's planned girl group. after being featured on a title track for soloist, lastdraw, in 2013, apricus would announce melanie as the central member of their upcoming girl group, letalis.

as the MAIN VOCALIST, LEAD DANCER, CENTER, and FACE of letalis, melanie is without a doubt the group's most popular member. finding success as a global ambassador for vivienne westwood in addition to popular appearances on korean variety shows and a stellar solo career, melanie is easily the modern face of apricus culture following allison nam's retirement in 2018.

 ‎ ‎ ┉       *       ﹙ㅤʬ              ›             YANG YEEUN.

better known by her stage name, juniper, yang yeeun is a south korean singer born in suwon on december 11, 1994 to yang dae and eom youngmi. raised alongside her brothers, hyunwoo and sanghun, the three yang siblings were encouraged to engage in creative pursuits from a young age. their mother, youngmi, specifically made sure to throw her full support behind her childrens' dreams, regardless of the strain it would often place on the family's finances.

ultimately, those financial strains would eventually lead to an episode of psychosis in juniper's father who was institutionalized in 2007. being unable to work for an extended period of time forced the family to move in with juniper's grandparents who lived just outside of seoul that same year.

the move proved to be especially tough on juniper's younger brother, sanghun, who experienced extensive bullying at his new school. despite this, sanghun would go on to audition for gemini entertainment in 2007 before being matched to apricus culture. seeing sanghun's success as a trainee prompted juniper to try her luck and audition for the company in late 2008. during the audition however, juniper proved too shy to sing and was instead chosen to debut as a model under apricus in 2011.

while she earned money modeling to help support her family, juniper would continue to receive vocal and dance lessons. following sanghun's debut as a soloist under the stage name ophion in 2011, juniper would make her way through the trainee ranks to be the final member picked for letalis' final lineup. famously, juniper claims she was chosen to join letalis on the condition that she accept the role of leader.

 ‎ ‎ ┉       *       ﹙ㅤʬ              ›             EMIYA UENO.

better known by her stage name, emmy, emiya ueno is a japanese singer born in okayama on may 25, 1995 to kisho ueno and himeko chiura. raised as an only child, the marital strife between kisho and himeko would eventually force the parents to send emmy off to a prep boarding school in bristol, england while they endured a toxic divorce in japan. kisho would later be granted custody of a six-year-old emmy in 2001 after himeko failed to appear in court and forfeited her maternal rights.

after kisho arrived in england, he would go on to raise emmy as a single parent while working as an archeologist. emmy had an extremely happy childhood, made possible by her incredibly supportive father who made it a point to encourage emmy to dream as big as possible. kisho would go on to marry emmy's stepfather, otis matthews, in 2015. together, kisho and otis would adopt emmy's stepsiblings, sasha and travis.

emmy quickly found comfort in the spotlight after being scouted by a talent agent who managed to secure emmy a role in several west end productions as an ensemble member during her teenage years. her big break finally arrived in 2011 after being invited to debut in a short-lived j-pop girl group, x-sys. the group was active for less than a year before their company would go bankrupt. after their contracts were bought out by apricus culture, emmy would be chosen as the second member to debut in letalis.

currently, emmy is the MAIN RAPPER, MAIN DANCER, and SUB VOCALIST of the girl group. in addition to her roles in the group, emmy is an acclaimed solo rapper in japan, occasionally taking on dramatic stage roles in both japan and england.

 ‎ ‎ ┉       *       ﹙ㅤʬ              ›             SOHN NARYUN.

naryun is a south korean singer-songwriter and producer born in daegu on september 1, 1995 to famed prima ballerina min kyunghee and her husband, professional soccer player sohn namkyu. alongside her older sister, narim, and twin sister, narae, the sohn sisters were expected to follow in their mother's poised footsteps. being placed in prestigious ballet conservatories from young ages, the girls quickly proved themselves to be worthy of their mother's reputation.

despite their immense talent, naryun and narae were often subjected to demeaning comparisons where naryun was often left trailing behind her twin sister. early on, it became evident that despite naryun obvious greater affinity for the art, narae would be shown favoritism by the instructors at their conservatory and later at their company.

naryun's distaste for the favoritism shown for her sister over her and narae's general distaste for ballet in general led to a divide between the twins that would last until narae announced her decision to forefeit her position as principal dancer at the korean national ballet. following her twin sister's lead, naryun would give up her position as well in 2012 out of solidarity.

finding herself lost without direction, naryun was approached by apricus culture ceo at the time jeong karin in a bid to bring legitimacy to apricus' trainee program. naryun agreed to train, initially believing it to be a short break to allow her to gain perspective. she soon fell in love with the prospect of becoming an idol and was the third member to be announced for letalis' final lineup in 2013.

currently, naryun is the group's MAIN DANCER and LEAD VOCALIST. despite efforts to separate herself from her time as a principal dancer for the korean national ballet, naryun cannot escape the shadow of disappointment that industry snobs continue to cast upon her. regardless, she has found immense success as a producer and solo artist as well as the opening of her own pilates studio in collaboration with former apricus ceo, jeong karin in 2022.

 ‎ ‎ ┉       *       ﹙ㅤʬ              ›             JADEN KIM.

better known by her stage name, jiseo, jaden kim is an american idol born in san diego on january 14, 1996 to siwoo kim and andrea jeong. raised as an only child, jiseo was notably incredibly shy growing up. her parents, worrying their daughter would be socially stunted by her bashfulness, would take initiative to enroll her in choir lessons hoping it would draw her out of her shell.

falling in love with being on stage, jiseo would go on to beg her parents for violin lessons, landing her a firm position on a children's orchestra by age 12. as she continued to grow out of her shell, jiseo would begin to seek the approval of older, more reckless upperclassmen. after being escorted home in a cop car after her 15th birthday, jiseo's parents decided to send her to live with her grandparents in gwangju for the summer.

while in gwangju, jiseo was exposed to k-pop by her cousins who found a way to persuade her to join them in auditioning for apricus culture in 2011. though her parents were unsure if they were ready to part with their only child, they would support the structure provided by the trainee atmosphere, hoping it would settle their daughter's learned tendencies. though it did nothing but increase her reckless decisions after finding a solid friend group through avos' ian, jiseo would be a successful trainee.

after being chosen to debut in letalis, jiseo would assume the LEAD RAPPER and SUB VOCALIST positions upon the group's debut in 2013. currently, jiseo also promotes as a solo artist under the stage name, oisa.

 ‎ ‎ ┉       *       ﹙ㅤʬ              ›             MIN HERI.

heri is a south korean singer, songwriter, and producer born in seoul, south korea on november 19, 1996 to choi haeun and min kyungjae. raised alongside her younger brother, junyoung, heri was always a positive, bright child.

often the smartest child in the room, heri's parents would eventually realize that her brilliant mind needed more stimulation than the books they stocked in her room. through the recommendation of a teacher, they would decide to enroll heri in acting and piano lesson, hoping she'd grow attached to one of the two to keep her busy.

landing lead roles in school plays soon proved to be too easy to 10-year-old heri who craved another challenge. after being encouraged by her drama teacher, heri found entertainment in poem writing, submitting her work to local contests anonymously. her writing soon caught the attention of hayden beom, a member of apricus culture boy group, nyx in 2009. the company later tracked down the young 13-year-old who was later invited to join the company as trainee in hopes of developing her as a singer-songwriter.

although heri was initially planned to debut as a soloist, the company decided to she would be better suited for a group environment, allowing her time to gain better confidence in the industry. as the sixth member chosen for letalis, heri is the group's LEAD VOCALIST and second VISUAL. though heri has decided to take a more understated role as a producer and songwriter under the name CARRÉ, she is the most credited member of the groups and has been acknowledged for her work outside of the group by the recording academy.

[dciyaoi]

Madison Scouts 2024 — Mosaic

[green-cargaytions]

constantly losing it over the madison scouts “unholy” feature ft the body roll

[ofstoriesandstardust]

the one where they go camping (b.r.b.)

a/n: i started sending thoughts about the one bed trope with @gretagerwigsmuse​ and it suddenly turned into a full-fledged fic. also, there’s a playlist for this fic!! this is probably a full-fledged disaster but idk i enjoyed it. 

summary: You spend your spring break camping with your friends from UVA. Cue the most awkward five days of your life when it turns out you and Bradley will have to share a bed. 

flight risk masterlist | UVA cast of characters

warnings: swearing, alcohol, one bed trope, cuddling, arguing, food mentions, there’s a knife but it’s only used in a cooking context, the word bitch is used in a derogatory context, canon death of a parent, body insecurity, reference to former toxic relationships, sunshine needs therapy, this is semi-researched and semi my imagination, man i sure do love those fucking commas

word count: 10,612

The sound of keys being tossed on the table catches your attention. You look up from your book, catching a glimpse of Bailey, pulling out a chair next to you. From across her is Madison with Bradley, who is pulling the chair out across from you. You squint in the sunlight, offering him a soft smile. 

"Hey Sunshine.” He says as he sits, tugging his backpack off his shoulders. 

“Hi.” 

“Any fun plans for spring break?” 

You pick up your bookmark, shutting it in the book and setting it on the table as you shake your head. “No, I’ll probably just hang out here. Sleep maybe.” 

Bailey’s head flies up from where she’s looking through her bag. “What?” 

You furrow your eyebrows. “What you do you mean what?”

She doesn’t get a chance to respond as Tommy approaches the table, Eli behind him dragging two other chairs from another table to where you’re sat in the courtyard. It’s a warmer than usual day for March, letting you study outside for the first time in months. 

“Are we discussing camping over here?” Tommy asks, sitting down between Bailey and Bradley. Eli wedges himself in between Tommy and Bradley, barely fitting in the group. 

Bailey nods absent-mindedly, still staring at you. “I thought you were coming camping with us.” 

“Oh- I didn’t-” You swallow, feeling the itch to pull the sleeves of your UVA sweatshirt down around your fingers. “I didn’t realize I was invited.” You mumble, cheeks going hot. 

“What do mean you didn’t realize you were invited? Madison and I discussed it like, six times in front of you.” 

You shrug. “I don’t have any gear to go camping. I’ve never actually even been camping.” 

“How have you never been camping?” Eli asks incredulously, eyes going wide. 

You shrug again. “I don’t know, we always did backyard campouts. My parents couldn’t really afford to take the time off of work.” 

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t think you’d be invited.” 

“I don’t know Bailey, it- it wasn’t an explicit invitation.” You stammer out, wanting to shrink down in your chair. “My parents always told me to never assume I’d been invited places or to invite myself to outings or trips. I didn’t want to assume I’d been invited and have nobody want me there.” 

The table falls silent at the words and you resist the urge to squirm. Madison grabs your wrist, forcing you to look at her as she says your name softly. “You’re invited. We want you there. You don’t need to worry about gear or anything; Tommy and I are already compiling all of our stuff.” 

“Okay.” You say softly, as she gives you a bright smile. 

“Cool beans, cool bean.” She says, punching a laugh out of both you and Bradley. 

“Didn’t you do Girl Scouts?” Eli asks, still frowning. “I’m still struggling to comphrend the fact that you’ve never been camping.” 

You shrug. “Yeah, but only for a few years when I was little. It just got expensive, especially cause my siblings had their own extracurriculars and whatever. Never really got to the age where we did the whole camping thing. Who’s all going on this trip?” 

“You, me, Bails, Mads, Eli and Bradley. I thought Kade would join us but he has to work.” Tommy responds. 

“What about Anna?” You ask, eyebrow raised. “Or Blake, I know he likes camping.” 

Tommy coughs awkwardly. “Yeah, well Blake is busy I think. Anna is going to Oregon to see her boyfriend.” 

“Oh, gotcha.” You glance at the time on your watch. “Anyways, I have to go to class.” 

“We’re leaving on Sunday at seven am sharp! Four days and five nights. Madison will pick you up. Bring clothes to swim cause we’re going to the lake.” Bailey says, pulling a notebook out of her bag. 

“Are you guys still camping at Lake Shenandoah? Why leave so early?” 

“Only gonna be there for five days. We have to maximize our time.” Madison says authoritatively, pulling her sunglasses down on to her face. 

“There can’t be that much to do.” You mutter as you stand up from the table.

“What was that?” 

“Nothing!”

-

Someone calls your name, making you turn. It’s Tommy, running out of the office you’d just walked past. “Hey Tommy.” You say, turning to face him. You have to look up to make eye contact with him, his lanky body towering over yours (and everyone else’s). 

“Hey, I’m glad I caught you. I wanted to talk to you about camping actually.” 

You raise an eyebrow, trying not to suck in your bottom lip to chew on it nervously. 

Did they not want you to go anymore? 

“So, we’ve done some preliminary packing and it turns out there’s not going to be enough room for Madison to drive you.” You swallow, waiting for the inevitable. 

Sorry, we just don’t have room. Maybe next time? 

He continues on however, not noticing your sudden panic. “Anyways, Bailey and Madison will be in Mads car together, but the only other person who’s car will fit all of us is Bradley’s, cause my truck will only fit two people and Eli refuses to drive his quote ‘nice, expensive car to a camp site’ so we’re left with Bradley’s. Anyways, are you cool to ride with him?” 

You nod, even though the thought of being in a car with Bradley for a whole hour feels like the worst idea. 

At least there would be other people? And, given the hierarchy of the friend group, you’d probably end up in the back. 

It would be fine. 

He smiles. “Great. Bradley has your address, right? He’ll pick you up at eight. Eli vetoed the leaving at seven thing.” 

“Oh great, a whole extra hour.” 

Tommy chuckles. “He was originally pushing for eleven.” 

“And that somehow got negotiated down to eight?” 

“Bailey threatened to key his car if he didn’t stop being difficult.” 

“Why do you hang out with him again?” 

“He’s cool.” 

“Yeah, remember when Bailey told you you were frat bro-adjacent? She was right.” You say, turning on your heel. 

“See you Sunday!″ He calls from behind you, smile clear in his tone.

-

You’re sitting out on your front porch, fiddling with your shoelaces nervously as you wait for Bradley. The sun is still rising, just peaking over the horizon. Your head is tucked up into your knees, admiring the sky when Bradley’s car emerges from around the corner. 

You lift your head, up, noticing it's just him in the vehicle as he parks in front of your house. “Where’s your annoying buddy?” You call as he steps out of the car, the door slamming shut behind him. 

He sighs, rounding the vehicle. “Oh boy do I have a story for you.” 

You give a half-laugh, standing up from the step as he walks up the sidewalk towards you. “What? What happened? What did I miss?” 

He shakes his head, not answering the question as he picks up the duffle bag that was siting by your feet. You double-check that the front door is locked and then follow him to the car, where he’s setting the bag in the back with his stuff. “Hop on in.” 

You pull the front passenger door open, sliding in the seat. “Can we stop and get road trip snacks?” 

He pauses from where he’s putting the key in the ignition to look at you. “It’s an hour drive.” 

You shrug, pulling your seatbelt on. “Well, you don't have to get anything but I’m hungry and didn’t eat breakfast. Plus, I love a good road trip snack.” 

He sighs, starting the car. “Yeah, I didn’t eat anything either. We can stop at McDonald’s, if you want.” 

“That works.” 

“Thank you for putting your seatbelt on, by the way.” He says, starting to pull out from your driveway.

“With this friend group, no one goes anywhere without it on.” 

“I know, but I DD for the frat parties and you would not believe how hard it is to get drunk frat boys to put their seat belts on.” 

You chuckle. “I could guess.” There’s a pause as you consider your next words. “You know, I always forget you’re in a frat because you don’t act like a typical frat bro.” 

He turn his head, half towards you, still keeping his eyes on the road. “Oh yeah? Why is that?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know. Frat bros are certain type of people like...” You trail off, searching for how to describe the guys he hang out with without also insulting the people he’s around so often. 

“Like Eli?�� He asks, a smile growing on his face. 

“Yeah.” You breathe out, returning his smile. “Like Eli.” 

“I’m kind of annoyed at him at the moment, so you can talk shit, it’s okay. I know you don’t like him.” 

“Bailey doesn’t like him.” You correct. “I really don’t mind him. I know you guys are best buds. Why’re you annoyed?” 

He grumbles as the two of you pull into the McDonald’s parking lot. “I’m annoyed with all of them. You missed the packing disaster that happened last night, but to make a long story short, Tommy ended up having to drive and didn’t want to drive alone. It would’ve made sense for him to just come grab you and have the two of you drive in his truck since Eli and I live together, and I could’ve driven us but no, you were too far from Tommy’s and Eli wanted to hangout with Tommy and drive with him so somehow Eli ended up spending the night at Tommy’s and now we’re here.”

“So the short version is our friends are pains in the asses?”  

He chuckles, turning to look at you as he pulls into the drive-thru line. “Pretty much. What do you want?” 

-

You shift in your seat, trying to get a better look at the place as Bradley pulls into the driveway. “Bailey and Madison did good.” 

“How the fuck did they beat us here?” 

You pull your gaze from the small but cozy-looking cabin, to where Bradley’s eyeing the other cars in the driveway. Sure enough, there’s Tommy’s truck and Madison’s white Chevrolet SUV that somehow always felt larger than necessary. You shrug. “I don’t know, we did stop for McDonald’s.” 

“Yeah, but when have you ever known our friends to leave on time?” 

You tilt your head in acknowledgement of his question. “True.” 

The two of you climb out of the car, Bradley grabbing the bags out of the back as you trek up the driveway. The front door opens before you can even knock, revealing a grinning Bailey. 

“You guys finally made it! Bradley, the boys are upstairs, if you wanna take y’alls stuff up there.” She grabs your wrist, already moving you towards the kitchen. “Let me give you the full tour.”

The cabin is two-stories, with a small kitchen and a dining table just big enough to fit all six of you. She shows you the back area of the house from the French doors in the kitchen, where there’s a wonderful lake view and a fire pit. There's a smaller living room, with a loveseat and a recliner in front of a fireplace. She takes you up the stairs, where you realize with a sinking heart that there’s only three bedrooms. 

“So this is the master, which is mine and Madison’s, because Madison planned the trip and I found this place. That’s Eli and Tommy’s room down the hall, with the two twin beds. Which means...” 

“I’ll be sharing a bed with Bradley.” You sigh. The bed isn’t very big, a double if you had to guess. 

Fuck. 

You turn slightly, shooting Bailey a look. “You did this on purpose.” You whisper as the boys emerge from the room down the hall. 

She sighs shaking her head. “No, we weren’t expecting Eli to be such a pain in the ass about the sleeping arrangements.” 

You raise an eyebrow, doubting her words. “Really?” 

“Yeah, really Bailey?” Madison asks, appearing over Bailey’s shoulder. “He’s the reason we’re in a cabin and not camping camping.” 

“There’s dirt!” Eli shrieks as Bradley wedges himself in the doorway, realizing what the three of you are discussing. He gives you a brief glance, offering you a nervous smile. 

“We’ll make it work. Only four nights right?”

-

You glance up from your book but quickly pull your attention back down once you catch sight of Bradley in nothing but his boxers.  

He was trying to kill you, you were convinced of it. 

Your eyes remained firmly planted on the page, even though they aren’t absorbing any of the words, becoming a blurry mess as you focus really hard on not looking back up to see practically naked Bradley. He flops down on the bed, only shifting up to turn the lights off, flooding the room in pitch-black darkness. 

“Goodnight Sunshine.” He mutters, rolling over on the bed to have his back facing you. 

“Hey, I was reading!” You protest, fumbling on your side of the bed for the switch to your lamp. 

“Stop studying, we’re on spring break.” He says, hand blindly reaching out to grab the book out of your hand. He rolls over to put it on his nightstand with a rather loud thump. 

You gape at the faint outline of his figure, barely illuminated by the light under the crack of the door. “You’re a pain in my ass. I won’t even know where I stopped. ” 

“Yes, you will, because you always write in your books. Go to sleep.” 

You huff, but comply, setting the pen you are in fact holding on your nightstand and pulling the covers over you as you roll to have your back face his. You shut your eyes, listening to the only sound in the house of Tommy washing the dishes downstairs. 

It’s not long after that the light downstairs and in the hallway gets shut off, Tommy being the last one up and apparently going to bed for the night. The room does become pitch-black, the house falling silent. 

You aren’t sure how long you lay there, eyes squeezed shut as sleep continuously escapes you. 

All of the sudden, Bradley lets out a loud snore, causing you to jump. You shift up, looking over to him. As your eyes have adjusted to the dark, you see the faint outline of his chest rising and falling continuously. You let out a soft groan, palms of your hands reaching up to press themselves into your eyes. 

It was going to be a long night. 

-

The first thing you realize when you wake up is the fact that you’re abnormally warm. 

It’s March and you’re in a cabin in the middle of the woods. For as much as you had all played with thermostat the night before when the darkness had settled in, and with it the colder temperatures, you hadn’t gotten it to be very warm in the cabin before giving up and going to bed for the night. 

The second thing you register is that there’s a steady weight across your stomach and something tangled in your legs. You slowly let your eyes open, taking in the sunlight filtering in through the blinds, the sound of the coffee maker on downstairs. Tommy must be awake already. 

You turn your head slightly, following the arm thrown around your center. The steady weight is connect to the person next to you who’s...

oh shit. 

You wince, realizing what’s happening. 

Bradley-the-human-furnace-Bradshaw is cuddling you. 

Worse yet, you think he’s still asleep, which means he isn’t conscious of what he’s doing. At all. 

That’s what you tell yourself as you begin to panic, unsure of what to do. Did you wake him up? Did you tell him to get off of you?

You had to admit that it was nice, the way he was holding you. The way his arms around you made you feel protected. Safe. It felt a little like being home, if you were honest. 

You’d never felt that before. 

You take a deep breath to center yourself, remembering that you and Bradley weren’t even friends. You were just two people who knew each other because of a mutual friend group. You were just two people who’d been invited on this camping trip and got stuck sharing a bed together. 

It meant nothing. He didn’t mean anything by it. 

He stirs, shifting slightly on the bed. You quickly turn your head, trying to ignore the way he’d looked with the golden rays dancing on his skin, squeezing your eyes shut. 

Maybe you could pretend you were still asleep and the two of you would never have to talk about this and could pretend it never happened. 

Yeah, that was a good plan. 

He shifts, arm tightening around your middle as he rolls closer. You can practically feel his breath on the crook of your neck. “Morning Sunshine.” 

The words take your breath clean from your throat as you tense, willing yourself to be very still. Maybe he thinks you’re still asleep. 

“I know you’re not asleep.” The smile is clear in his voice and you move your head a little, looking back at him, swallowing when you realize how close he is. How good he looks in the morning. 

“Hi.” You whisper. 

“Hey.” He says, but then pulls his arm back, untangling his legs from yours. You instantly feel cold. “Sorry about that. I’ve been told I’m a cuddler in my sleep. Probably should’ve warned you.” 

“It’s fine.” You say, the words physically painful to squeeze out. He sits up, comforter falling around his hips to reveal his naked chest that is bathed in golden sunlight. You turn back around, squeezing your eyes shut once more at the sight of him. 

“What are we doing today, do you remember?” 

“Um.” You swallow, throat scratchy. “I think we’re going hiking I think Madison said.”

Behind you, you can feel him move off the bed, his weight disappearing. You can hear him move around the room, walking to where his bag is sat and unzipping it. “Sounds good. I’m gonna get changed. See you downstairs.” 

“Yeah.” 

You hold your breath until you hear the bedroom door click shut, and then begin to count backwards from 20 by 2s as you try to regulate your breathing. 

Then you sit up, not bothering to grab clothes to change into as you dart out of the room and down the hall, grabbing Bailey’s arm as she steps out of her room. Her eyes scan your face, searching for a sign of something being wrong. 

“What? Is everything okay?” She asks. The two of you are squeezed in the doorway as Madison stands on the other side in the room, listening to the conversation. 

“I woke up to Bradley cuddling me.” You mumble, eyes flickering to the door of Tommy’s room opening. 

Her frown changes to a smile, growing wider. “Oh yeah? And then what? You two finally bang it out? Have sleepy, cuddly sex?” 

You shoot her a look. “Fuck off that, will you?”

Madison snickers, causing you to also toss her a withering look. 

“Whatcha girls talking about over there?” Eli calls, Bradley appearing over his shoulder. 

“The stick up your ass.” Bailey calls back, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into the room, slamming the door shut behind you. 

“Smooth, B.” Madison mutters. 

Bailey ignores Madison, turning to face you with her hands on her hips. “Tell me everything. Now.” 

You faceplant on the bed with a groan. “There’s nothing to tell. I woke up to him cuddling me in his sleep and then he said ‘Sorry, I’m a cuddler in my sleep’ and then got up and left.”

The words are muffled into the comforter of the bed as your legs dangle off the side. It goes quiet in the room and you almost wonder if they didn’t hear you. Finally, you lift your had, pushing yourself into a seated position as you bring your legs to sit criss-cross. 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to be normal around him now. He literally wears nothing but his underwear to bed. I just have to look at him like that after he cuddled me in his sleep and somehow be normal?” 

“So don’t.” Bailey says with a simple shrug. “Grow a pair and tell him. Tell him that you have a huge raging crush on him and then bang it out and become the world’s cutest couple so the rest of us can stop doing this dance with the two of you.” 

“You don’t have to sleep with him, like that.” Madison adds, sitting down on the bed. “But you should tell him how you feel about him.” 

You groan again, moving to face-plant once more into the comforter but Madison’s hand shoots out, keeping you upright. “He doesn’t like me back, I told you that.” 

“You’re the only one who thinks that.” Madison says firmly, giving you a little push so you’re upright. 

“Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” Bailey says flatly with an eyebrow raised. 

“It’s not denial, Bails. He doesn’t like me like that. I don’t even think he’s sees us as friends. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m annoying.” 

She snorts, rolling her eyes. “You’re impossible.” She says, turning around to the door. 

“Will one of you switch rooms with me, please?” You beg, turning to Madison first, knowing that if anyone will switch with you, it will be her. Her eyes flicker over to Bailey, who shakes her head. 

“Do you honestly think any of the other guys would’ve accidentally cuddled you in their sleep?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know, he did say this is normal for him.” 

Bailey sighs, taking another step back closer to the door. “I don’t think he’s the only one making excuses.” 

“What does that mean?” 

She ignores the question, hand on the doorknob. “Give it one more night and if you’re still uncomfortable, you and I will switch.” She opens the door, slipping out into the hallway. 

Madison squeezes your shoulder. “Tommy just made us a pot of coffee. Do you want me to pour you a cup while you get dressed?” 

You look down, realizing you’re still in pajamas. “Yeah, that’d be great.” 

She nods standing up from the bed, as you fall backwards on the bed, the heels of your hands once again coming to press into your eyes. 

You were so screwed. 

-

You squint, the bright sun overhead filtering in through the trees as the sounds of your friends yelling at each other causes the birds to fly away from the treetops. 

“I told you, we’re lost!” Bailey shouts, throwing her hands up in frustration. “And it’s all your fault, because you ignored Madison and said you knew where you were going!” 

“I do know where we’re going! I’ve made this hike a hundred times!” Eli shouts back. 

“Okay, both of you, cut it out. Bickering isn’t going to change the fact that we’re standing on the edge of a cliff.” Tommy said, wedging himself between Bailey and Eli. 

“I’ll push him off the edge of the cliff.” Bailey says, hands moving to her hips a she stares daggers down at Eli. 

“You’re a bitch.” Eli shoots, causing Bradley’s head to fly up from where he’s watching you kick a rock. 

“Hey!” He shouts. “Uh uh, we don’t talk about women like that.” 

“Don’t bother Bradshaw, I take pride in being called a bitch. “ Bailey says smugly. 

“Oh, of course you do.” Eli snarks, rolling his eyes. 

“Where the fuck is Madison going?” You mutter, watching her disappear off the trail and into the bushes. 

“The right way probably.” Bradley mutters back. 

“Should we follow her?” 

He tilts his head in consideration of your question. “We could. Or, hear me out-” He says, holding his hands out. “-we could go back to the cabin and play cards.” 

You bite your lip, nervous about the prospect of being all alone with him since this morning, but one look back to Tommy keeping Bailey and Eli form ripping each other’s throats out is enough to have you nodding. 

“Done deal, Bradshaw. Lead the way.” 

The two of you walk down the path from which you came, the shouting and bickering of your friends slowly tapering off into the distance. It’s quiet for a minute as you follow his footsteps, crunching over the leaves and dirt along the trail. 

“So... you excited about graduating?” 

He shrugs, pulling back to fall in step with you. “Kind of. This trip is making it all sort of real for me you know? This is the last time it’ll ever be like this.”

“Any grand post-grad plans?” 

“I’m enlisting.” Your head flies up at the words. 

“You- wait, you really are?” 

He nods, offering you nervous smile. “Yeah, I sent in my paperwork the morning I came to pick you up. I’ll have a better idea in a little while of where I’ll be going in a few weeks, but it’s happening, pretty much straight away.” 

“Wow.” You mutter. 

On the one hand, you’re thrilled for Bradley to get everything he's ever wanted. For as long as you known him, the Navy was the dream. Everything he’s worked for would soon be coming into fruition for him. 

On the other hand, you’re terrified. Terrified you may never hear from him again, that Bradley Bradshaw may become nothing more than a memory to everybody who’s ever known or loved him. 

Because that was it, wasn’t it?

To know Bradley Bradshaw was to love him. 

And maybe that didn’t scare you as much as it should’ve, the thought that you might be in love with this boy. 

But what did scare you was what could happen to one of the kindest human beings you’d ever met. 

He catches your look, reaching out to gently nudge your shoulder. “Hey now, don’t worry Sunshine. I’ll be as safe as can be.” You offer him a smile, nodding. “So what about you? Going anywhere fun for the summer? Tom and Bailey mentioned something about you going to D.C.?”  

You shake your head. “Nah, nowhere fun. The D.C. trip kind of fell through and I couldn’t really afford it to begin with. I decided to renew the lease on my house with my roommate. I’ll just be working. Maybe doing research if my proposal gets approved.” 

His face brightens. “Hey, that’s great Sunshine! You get paid for that?” 

You nod. “Through the school, yeah. And that’s if they accept me.” 

“I have no doubt in my mind that they will.” He sighs, looking at you before biting his lip. “Hey Sunshine, about this morning, if I made you uncomfortable or-”

You shake your head. “No! No, I-” You cut yourself off, unsure of what to say to assure him that it wasn’t him, it was you. 

“I just wanted to apologize in case I made you uncomfortable. That’s the last thing I would want to do.” 

You take a shuddering breath at how kind he is, the way it makes your heart do silly little things, like want to reach over and kiss him, before you can bring yourself to respond. “Nope, you’re all good Bradshaw.” You say, forcing a smile. 

And you'd make it be good. 

-

“Sunshine, what are you doing?” 

You look up from where you’re setting up the pillows to Bradley, who’s just walked through the door. He’s wearing sweatpants tonight (albeit still no shirt) but you’re grateful nonetheless because maybe with pants on you’ll be able to maintain some semblance of normality around him. 

Kind of.

“Sunshine?” He asks again and you shake your head, looking back down at the decorative pillows you’d grabbed from the loveseat earlier. 

“I’m building a pillow wall. So that way we, you know, both get our own side of the bed, and there’s no accidental cuddling or anything.” 

He clears his throat awkwardly, an unusual blush rising on his cheeks. “Sunshine, I told you I was sorry about that.” 

You shrug. “And I told you it was fine. But problem solved.” 

Really, truly, honestly - it was boundary for you and you alone. You were afraid that if you woke up one more time to him cuddling you in nothing but his underwear, you do something stupid. Like kiss him or tell him about your stupid crush on him. 

Still, his jaw tenses, his hand twitching at his side. The two of you stand in awkward silence for a minute before he finally sighs. “Okay. Whatever you want.”

He walks the few paces towards the bed and then climbs in, pulling the covers all the way up to his chin, leaving you to get the lights. You sigh, walking towards the door and flicking them off. You walk around the bed to climb in on your side, curling up all the way at the very edge of the bed. 

The tension hangs in the room, his body stiff. You wait for him to tell you goodnight like he had the night before but he says nothing. 

It’s not long that the two of you are laying there before a loud cheer erupts from downstairs. 

Your friends had long passed the line between tipsy into drunk and both you and Bradley had tapped out when they started creeping into drunkenly obnoxious territory. 

“What the fuck are they doing down there?’ You ask, shifting slightly to look back towards the door. 

He grunts.

“Sorry.” You whisper, turning back around. “Good night Bradley.” 

“Night.” 

-

When Bradley wakes up, you’re all too aware of it, having tossed and turned all night long. You were surprised he didn’t kick you out of the bed from how much you had rolled around, although you’d tried to sit very still for as long as possible. 

At one point you even went to the bathroom just to sit so as not to bother him. Unfortunately, Eli came in not long after to puke so the reprieve was short-lived. 

A quick glance at the digital clock on the nightstand next to you tells you it’s only 6:10 am, far too early for Bradley to be up, and much less any of your friends who are definitely going to have hangovers. You shift slightly, watching as he sits up, pulling the comforter off of him. 

He gently pushes himself off the bed and softly pads towards the door, shutting it behind him with a gentle click. You hold your breath, waiting for him to return to the room, thinking he’s just peeing, but it’s only when you realize it’s 6:31 am that he’s not coming back. 

You groan, rolling back over as an ache settles in your chest. 

Maybe now you’d finally be able to get some sleep. 

-

When you’re awoken again, it’s to the sound of the door opening and someone saying your name. You groan, rolling over to the offender. You’re greeted by the sight of Bailey standing there with the door wide open. 

“Good. You’re alive.” 

“The fuck do you want?” You say through a yawn, a quick glance to the clock showing you it’s 11:17 am. 

“Everyone minus Madison is downstairs eating breakfast and then we’re all going to the lake.” 

“Where’s Madison?” You ask, not moving from the bed. 

“Violently hungover. Eli quote ‘puked and rallied’, but Tommy and I can hold our alcohol. We also had way less to drink than the other two.” 

You hum, but still make no move to get off the bed. She nods her head towards the downstairs. “C’mon, up and at ‘em.” 

“Can’t I join you guys later? I didn’t sleep very good last night.” 

Her eyes skim over the pillows next to you. “I can imagine, what with the great pillow wall of Lake Shenandoah. That Bradshaw’s idea?” 

“Mine.” 

She blows out a breath. “Explains why he was up at the ass crack of dawn. Even beat Tommy up. C’mon, he made sure we saved you some breakfast and a cup of coffee.” 

With a final groan, you push yourself off the bed and follow her into the hallway and down the stairs. The boys grin at the sight of you, Bradley even offering you a small smile over the rim of his coffee cup. 

“Hey sleeping beauty, thanks for joining us here in the land of the living.” Tommy teases. 

“Good afternoon.” Eli says, a smirk on his face. Your eyes flicker to the time on the oven (11:21 am) and then back to Eli’s face. 

“Fuck off, it’s not even noon yet.” 

“Practically could be.” 

“Good morning.” Bradley says softly as you approach the stove, picking up the coffee cup that’s sitting next to him. “Here, I save you the last cup of coffee although I wasn’t sure what you liked in it. And I made sure we saved you some breakfast: eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns. There’s also toast.” 

You don’t even have the heart to tell him that Bailey had already told you all of this, what with the way he’s looking at you so genuinely, so earnestly. “Thank you Bradley, really.”

Tommy clears his throat, standing up from the table. “Alright well, I’m ready to go down to the lake, if everybody else is.” There’s muttered agreement, your friends moving from their various places in the space. 

“You’ll come down and join us when you’re ready, right?” Bradley says, a little concern filtering into his tone. You muster up a smile, hands wrapping tighter around the coffee mug. 

“Will do Bradshaw.” 

You watch them from the window for the next hour, puttering around the kitchen as you clean up the dishes from breakfast. It’s the least you can do considering everyone else cooked. 

You were definitely not stalling, suddenly nervous to go outside to the lake in a bathing suit with all the boys, knowing they’d be looking at you. 

You still couldn’t forget the way Noah’s eyes had roamed over your body, saying it might be a little too much. 

That you were a little too much. 

You shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut as you braced yourself against the counter. 

You didn’t do that anymore. You hadn’t done that in months. They were your friends and they’d never make you feel small or uncomfortable or-

ugly. unwanted.

You’d packed both bathing suits you own, one more risqué than the other. Both were one-pieces, easy to cover-up in, but the words you ex-boyfriend had said to you about the one that showed off your chest and had an open back lingered in your mind, reassuring you that the simple suit was the much better option. 

You pull your hair back, sighing as you try to work up the nerve to go downstairs and outside. 

“Hey.” 

You turn, seeing Madison in the doorway. “Hey. You don’t look as awful as I thought you would.” 

She shrugs, leaning up against the doorway. “I think if I went outside, I’d throw up. But other than that, I’m definitely feeling better than I was at 9 am. Cute suit.” 

You look down, adjusting the strap of the blue-green clothing. “Thanks.” 

“I still like the red one better though.” 

“Yeah?” You ask, your teeth catching your bottom lip. 

She nods. “Yeah, I like the back on it and I think the color suits you a lot more.” 

“Should I change?” You ask, turning back around to look at yourself in the mirror. 

She shrugs. “Up to you. I’m going back to my cave of darkness.” 

You sigh, turning back towards your room to change into the other suit. 

You’d packed shorts and a t-shirt to go over the suit in case you did get insecure (you knew you would) and well- no one said you had to get in the lake, right?

You groan as you pause at the doors, suddenly wanting to turn around, go back to the bedroom, slip under the covers and hide. 

Because Bailey was Bailey. She had always reminded how pretty you were even when you couldn’t see it. 

And Tommy was Tommy. He saw you as a little sister, someone he could goof around with and build Legos with. 

And Eli could choke. 

But Bradley? 

It was important to you what Bradley thought of you. Especially in a bathing suit, because apparently you were twelve again, wanting the approval of the boys at the pool party.

You sigh as you slip out the French doors and out across the grass to where the group is located. Tommy’s a ways out, disappearing beneath the waves with every passing moment, brunette curls sticking his face. Bailey and Eli are stood on the edge of the shore, bickering. 

And there’s Bradley, sat in a camping chair, beer in hand. 

“Hey.” 

He looks up at you, face squinting from the bright sun overhead. “Hey. Why aren’t you changed?” 

You glance down at the t-shirt from your high school with the word S E N I O R S spelled out like the Friends logo. “Oh, I did, but I figured the lake might be cold...”

You can’t help but let your eyes roam over his body, the way his tan skin looks in the sunlight of the day. Where his once-wet curls are slowly drying, curling more than usual, especially around the nape of his neck. You can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to reach out and run your fingers through them. 

“It’s not that cold, honestly.” 

You nod absentmindedly, watching as Tommy swims closer to shore. You bite your lip as Tommy hoists himself up on the deck that sits out over the lake. 

These were your friends, but even you weren’t blind to the fact that they were all a great-looking group of people. And they’d never make you feel small. But it was hard not to feel insecure standing next to guys and girls who got everyone they wanted, Bradley included. 

“You coming back out Bradshaw?” Tommy calls. He looks up to you, pulling his sunglasses off. 

“Depends. You gonna join us?” 

You blow out a breath. “Yeah, I guess I could come sit for a little while.” 

The two of you head down towards the dock, as you try to remind yourself that it doesn’t matter what Bradley Bradshaw thinks of you in a bathing suit. You woke up to him cuddling you the other day; how could it get any worse?

You follow him down towards the lack, the grass beneath your feet tickling slightly. 

Memories of summers spent in your back yard, running through the hose with your siblings, flash through your brain. The nostalgic ache for the familiar itch of grass on your bare legs and laughter settles in your chest as you watch Bradley cannon ball into the lake with Eli.  

You swallow as Bailey tugs your arm, dragging you further on to the deck. “C’mon, get in the water with me.” 

“Um-” You say, eyes flickering back over to the boys, Tommy diving into the water and popping up next to Eli and Bradley. “What if they say something about-”

You cut yourself off, unable to bring yourself to say the words, but you know she understands anyways. 

She raises an eyebrow, giving you an unimpressed look. “I’ll cut their dicks off if they do.” 

The words punch a laugh out of you, some of your nerves going with it. You had known Bailey long enough to know that that was a threat she’d follow through on. 

You shake your head, already reaching to pull your shirt off. “Okay, okay.” You pull your shorts off, walking further down the deck with Bailey by your side as the boys attention drifts to you. 

It takes everything in you not to shrink back as you watch Bradley’s eyes go wide. Eli catches the moment, whispering something only him and Tommy can hear, causing Bradley to punch his shoulder before tipping his head back into the water. 

Your mouth suddenly tastes sour, your self-consciousness rising through your stomach and up into your throat as you near the edge of the deck, realizing they’re all watching you. 

It almost makes you want to turn around and go back into the house, but you don’t get a chance as Bailey is grabbing your hand. “On the count of three, okay?” 

“Wait-”

“One.”

“No, Bailey-” 

“Two.” 

“I don’t want to-”

“Three!” She shouts, leaving you with no choice but to jump with her for fear of being tugged off the deck if you didn't.

The water is cold against your skin as you preemptively scrunch up your face, hoping to keep the water out of your eyes. 

You gasp for breath you break the surface, hair already clinging to your back as you blink, searching for your friends. 

A splash of water catches your attention, causing you to turn your head. It’s Bailey, popping up after you. “That was fun.” 

“For one of us.” 

She lets out a little laugh, offering you a shrug. It’s quiet for a minute as the two of you try to catch your breath before she nods towards the boys, signaling to head over to them. “Thanks for joining us on this trip.” 

You nod as the two of you move towards the boys. “Thanks for inviting me.” 

“We’re happy to have you here.” 

-

A few hours later, you watch the sun begin to set in the distance, the orange hues settling across the lake in ripples. You take a deep breath as you admire the view, the distant conversation not even distracting you. 

Until there’s a particularly loud splash of water. 

You turn, spotting Eli swim away from Bailey as fast as he can. 

Bradley floats over to you as you watch Bailey try to shove Eli under the water as she catches up to him. “Hey, your strap is all twisted.” He says, pointing to the top of your suit. 

You look down, realizing it’s twisted all the way to the back. “Oh shit. Do you think you could untwist it for me? I don’t think I’ll be able to get it.” 

He nods, swimming a little bit closer to reach out for your shoulder. “It’s a nice suit, by the way.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, the color looks good on you.” He says, pulling away and offering you a small smirk.

You think your cheeks are as red as the suit adorning your body. 

-

You pad down the stairs, wet hair falling over your shoulder where the water seeps into your UVA t-shirt. Bradley’s alone in the kitchen, cooking dinner. He looks up at the noise, smiling at the sight of you. “Hey.” 

“Smells good.” You say, walking further into the kitchen. He nods. 

“Yeah, I wanted to do something a little bit more involved for dinner tonight since I’m pretty sure I’m the only one in our friend group who can actually cook besides Madison and she’s still hungover.” 

“You want help?” 

“Actually, yeah, could you help me cut the bell peppers? It would really speed things along.” You nod, taking the knife from him, even though you have no idea what the proper way way to slice a bell pepper is.

It couldn’t be that hard, right?

You stand there, examining the vegetable in your hand as you debate the best way to approach this, desperately wanting to not fuck it up. 

“You know what you’re doing there?” He asks, eyebrows raised. You point the knife at him. 

“Hey, I might not have the cooking skills of Madison but I think I can figure out how to cut a bell pepper.” 

There’s a pause as he stares at you. “You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Here, I’ll show you.” His voice is void of a condescending tone, which you appreciate. 

He takes one of your hands, curling your fingers inward. “See, you always want to have your fingers curled inward, otherwise you run the risk of chopping your fingers off.” You nod as he takes the hand, setting it on the bell pepper while the other hand guides the hand the knife is in. “You’re just gonna cut the bottom and top off like this.” He says, demonstrating the movements. 

His skin feels warm against yours as you desperately try not to lean into him, his chest pressed against your back. “Where’d you learn how to cook Bradshaw?” 

The question is meant to be teasing but your tone ends up being more genuine as you feel him chuckle, chest vibrating. “My Mom. She always made me help her cook growing up. It was a way for us to bond. Food kind of brought us together, I guess.” 

“She sounds like she’s a great woman.” You whisper, tilting your head just enough to look in his yes. 

A flash of pain crosses his face, even as he returns your smile. “She was.” he says softly. “I wish you could’ve met her. She would’ve loved you.” 

You swallow, realizing how close the two of you are. How vulnerable he’s being and how much you just want to reach up and-

He clears his throat, ducking his head. “Anyways, um, you just cut the inside pieces of like this and then cut it into slices.” 

You nod, blinking at the sudden change in tone and body language, the wya he had rushed walking you through the second half of the process. “Alright, thanks.” 

He gives you a small smile, stepping out of your space. “No problem.” 

The two of you work alongside each other, the only sound coming from Bradley humming to the ABBA songs playing from the small speaker in the corner of the kitchen. As you cut the bell peppers, you think about the way Bradley hasn’t called you Sunshine since before “the great wall of Lake Shenandoah” as Bailey insisted on calling it, the way he’d made sure to keep his distance. 

In an effort to keep yourself under control, you’d somehow managed to make things worse.

Yet, he’d still saved you breakfast and was teaching you how to cut bell peppers. The kindness in his eyes whenever he looked at you made your chest ache, and honestly all you wanted to do was to make things not be weird. 

“Hey, do you think you could-” 

“Bradley, I’m sorry I made things weird or like- awkward between us.” 

He pauses from where he’s fiddling with he stove, eyes going wide. “What?”

You sigh, gaze dropping down to the knife sitting on the cutting board. “I’m sorry if my- my stupid pillow wall made things weird between us.” 

He shrugs, turning back to the stove. “We’re good.” 

“We’re not good. You haven’t called me Sunshine since before our walk back to the cabin yesterday after the failed hike and I don’t know- it feels a little strange.” 

He huffs out a breath, keeping his back turned to you. “Fine, Sunshine, there we go, easy fix. Can you please get the sour cream and cheese from the fridge?” 

You comply, setting the food on the counter before you walk over to him, standing next to him in front of the tiny stove space. “Bradley-” 

He sighs, keeping his eyes trained firmly on the cooking chicken and veggies. “Sunshine, I just- The last thing I ever want to do is make you feel uncomfortable. I know it’s not any of my business, but I know Noah wasn’t-” He pauses, jabbing at the mixture in the pan. “I know Noah wasn’t good to you and the last thing I want to do to is put you in a position to feel like you have to put up with a man who makes you uncomfortable for the sake of your friends, like you did with him.” 

Despite yourself, you let out a little laugh. “Bradley, what?” 

“It’s not funny.” 

“I mean, it is, honestly. It’s laughable because you and Noah aren’t even in the same stratosphere of human beings-” He shoots you a look, cutting off the laughter bubbling out of you. “Oh, Bradley, c’mon I’m serious. You’re actually a good person, not like him who was just born as an asshole.”

“Sunshine, I’m serious.” 

You feel like you forget how to breathe with the way he’s looking at you, suddenly ignoring the cooking food. 

“Okay, I-” You pause, trying to take a deep breath. “Bradley, I didn’t keep him around because of my friends.”

“Yeah? Not even after he dumped you and broke your heart?” He asks, frowning.

You bite your lip, looking down to the browning veggies. “I- Yeah, okay I did. But I- if you made me uncomfortable, especially like he did, I never would’ve agreed to come on this trip, much less share a bed with you.”

He turns the stove off wordlessly, pulling the food as he sets it to the side before turning to look you in the eye. “You promise?” 

You sigh, stepping forward to rest your hands on his biceps. “I promise.” 

-

You can hear the laughter echo from the cabin, all the way by the French doors as you slip out, Madison offering you a thumbs up and Bailey and Tommy giving you all-knowing grins. 

You roll your eyes, pulling your jacket around you tighter as you lightly pad down the steps and across the grass to the fire pit where Eli and Bradley sit. You can hear the low mutter of their conversation as you approach, almost making you second-guess yourself. 

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” 

Both boys turn in their chairs to face you. Eli offers you a small smile, shaking his head. “Not at all Sunshine.” His voice is teasing, the nickname sounding strange coming from someone who wasn’t Bradley. “I was just headed back inside.” 

You nod, taking Eli’s place next to Bradley as he passes by you, walking back towards the cabin. Bradley doesn’t say anything, just kicks his feet up to sit on the edge of the fire pit. The only sounds come from the birds above and the crackling of the fire in front of you. 

“You know what I like about us?” 

You hum, eyes still watching the flames dance in front of you. 

“I like that no matter what, we can always sit in silence together and it not weird or awkward, it’s just comfortable. I can just be.” 

You lift your head to smile at him. There’s another pause as he opens another beer from the cooler by his feet. 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

He nods, taking a sip of his drink. “Anything, Sunshine.” 

“Why are you so fond of Eli?” 

He raises an eyebrow, tilting his head at the question, and lets out a little chuckle, almost nervous. “I’m gonna tell you a story, Sunshine, and it’s not one that I tell very many people.” 

You nod, keeping eye contact with him. “I’m listening.” 

You almost think he whispers “I know.” under his breath before he sighs, shifting to rest his arms on his knees. “When I came to UVA, I was in a pretty dark place. I’d just-” He cuts himself off, mouth beginning to frown. “I’d just been dealing with a lot of family issues and personal stuff. Which is vague, I know. Um- to save you the pain of listening to my issues, I can sum it up with the fact that my Mom had just died, just before my senior year. I was alone and on my own and I knew it. But uhm- there was that kid on the first day of Spanish 1, my partner for the icebreakers. And I didn’t want to share or really even talk to this kid, but there was just- No matter how upset I was, he just- man Sunshine he just kept making me laugh.” 

He pauses as he takes a sip of his beer. “Those are the best kinds of friendships.” You whisper. 

He nods. “They are. They’re my favorite kind. But-” He says, tilting his head again in acknowledgement of his words. “I get that he’s not like that with everyone. We gelled from the very beginning and I’ve never thought twice about him. His family has welcomed me into their home and their vacations, into their lives and love. He’s always had my back, no questions asked. But he’s a dick to a lot of people and I do know that.” He takes a deep breath, shifting on his chair. “He’s a dick to you, and I know that.”

You shift on your chair, suddenly uncomfortable with the way this conversation is going. “I didn’t mean to make this about how he treats me-”

Bradley shakes his head, cutting you off. “It’s not a justification but- Eli’s family, they come from old money. And I mean like, old money. And the way he was raised- the sheer competition to be better, always better, it bleeds into who he is as an adult. He likes people who can challenge him—I think it’s why he keeps going back to Bailey despite all the bickering—but I think in all the worst ways possible, you remind him of his sister. Younger and yet somehow always better. Always destined for more.” 

Your cheeks warm at his words, watching him lean back in his chair. “He’s a good person at his core. He knows when people are in need and he does his best to help them. But—and again, this isn’t to excuse or justify it—it doesn’t change the fact that you’re brilliant Sunshine. You have the whole world at your feet and we all know it. And for whatever Eli ends up doing, he knows that you will do more.”

-

You rub your lips together as you snap the lid on the chapstick shut. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror, your UVA sweatshirt pulled on with a pair of old sweats before flicking the light off. 

You move to open the door, to head back downstairs and outside to join all your friends at the fire pit , when you hear the door down the hall open, the sound of Eli and Bradley arguing following it. 

“-Bradshaw, all I’m saying is that, if you were to have feelings for her, I think you should go for it.” 

You furrow your eyebrows, stepping closer to the door. You felt a bit bad, eavesdropping on their conversation, but the thought Bradley might have a crush on some girl made your stomach churn in the worst ways. 

He wasn’t yours to lose and yet- 

Your train of thought is cut off by the sound of Bradley groaning, his footsteps stopping at the top of the stairs. “Where the fuck is this even coming from, Eli?” 

Eli’s footsteps stop and you hear him sigh. “She’s really good for you Bradley.”

“Okay?” 

“I just think you’d be better off admitting that you have feelings for your Sunshine. Even just to yourself.” 

Your entire body freezes. 

“I don’t like her like that!” Bradley exclaims and you swear your heart stops beating for a minute. 

Distantly, you realize they must think you’re outside with the group, or they’d never be having this conversation with you near. 

“You’re fucking impossible Bradley, you know that? Sunshine is halfway in love with you and you won’t even entertain the possibility of it?” 

“Entertain it? I don’t like her like that. She’s my friend.”

Eli snorts. “Sure, keep fucking tell yourself that Bradshaw. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” 

The words trigger a memory, words Bailey had said to you at the very beginning of the trip. 

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. 

Horror and embarrassment floods over you as you realize they had set you up. They’d taken your crush on Bradley and had set you up.

The whole trip had been a set up. 

“It’s not denial. I honestly don’t even know if I’d classify her as my friend. I’d say she’s probably more Tommy’s friend than anything.” He says the words so casually, yet you’d been around him long enough to recognize the defensive tone hidden in his words. 

Still, it makes your entire body go cold as you realized you’d been right all along. 

Eli sighs, and then there’s a long pause between them as your heart beats rapidly in your chest, tears pricking at your eyes. 

“Whatever Bradshaw, it’ll be your loss when she’s the one who got away.” 

Bradley splutters but he follows Eli’s footsteps down the stairs. 

You strain your ears for the sound of the French door shutting before you let yourself breath, mind whirring at what had just happened. 

Part of you desperately wants you to believe that this hadn’t been a set-up, something done to embarrass you. That your friends wanted you here, not what they thought you could be for Bradley. 

Part of you wonders if it had all been a joke, a gotcha moment while they laugh at your humiliation. 

You become more horrified as you play the trip back in your head, realizing it wasn’t that Bradley hadn’t wanted to make you uncomfortable.

He didn’t want you to get the wrong idea. 

You begin to feel empty as the words play on repeat in your head, realizing that without a doubt, no matter what you felt for him, Bradley Bradshaw felt nothing for you. 

-

You hear the door to the bedroom open some hours later as you squeeze your eyes shut, clutching the comforter around you tighter as if it can protect you. 

After overhearing Eli and Bradley’s conversation, you had gone back to your room, slipping under the covers as you suppressed your tears. You hadn’t want them to come back into the house and find you in the state you were in. 

Eventually, the emotion had left you, just leaving you emotionally exhausted while unable to sleep. 

“Sunshine?” Comes the whispered voice of Bradley as light floods the room. “You awake?” 

You measure your breathing and he must buy it, because he shuts the door, slipping into the bed next to you, smelling distantly of campfire. 

You resist a shudder, almost instinctively wanting to lean into the smell and roll over and cuddle him. Let him pull you close like he did that first morning. Let him run his fingers through your hair and tell your everything will be okay. 

It’s quiet in the room as you beg sleep to come to you, yet it is painfully out of your reach. Your brain won’t stop replaying the words from earlier, how Bradley had said we’re just friends, but really if anything, she’s Tommy’s friend.

You hear the sheets move as Bradley shifts, rolling from his side to his back. The movement pulls you from your thoughts, forcing you to steady your breath, as you will yourself to be still. “Are you awake?” His voice is barely a whisper, not wanting to wake you if you’re asleep.You can’t be sure, but you almost think you hear his head move to face your back. You bite your lip, wanting to ignore him, but it’s his soft “Sunshine?” that makes your resolve crumble. 

“Yeah.” You finally whisper back. 

“You wanna go look at the stars?” He asks in the same quiet tone. You finally turn, almost rolling over on to his hand that’s splayed out on the sheets. He is looking at you, you note. 

“Yeah.”

You aren’t sure what you’re doing, knowing what was said that night, but there’s some part of you that’s aching to be closer to him. To reassure yourself that you were still friends and maybe, just maybe, there was a sliver of a chance. 

And that was the part that was winning out. 

“Grab a jacket.” He whispers as you slip your shoes on. You slip the jacket around your shoulders, bracing yourself for the cold you know you’ll be stepping out into. You are both quiet walking down the stairs, catching sight of the lights on under both sets of doors. He gently opens the door, holding it open for you. “After you.”

You snort, stepping out into the chilly air of the night. “And they say chivalry is dead.” 

“You wanna go for a walk by the lake?” He asks, shutting the door behind you. 

“Yeah, sure, why not.” 

The night is quiet, the stars twinkling overhead as the two of you walk. 

“Orion was my favorite constellation growing up, probably because it was the only one I could recognize.”

You’re not sure why you’re sharing the information with him, knowing you originally told yourself you’d keep your distance from him. 

He smiles at you. “It was one of the first ones I learned in Boy Scouts.”

“You seem the Boy Scouts type.” 

He snorts. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” 

You shrug one of your shoulders. “It’s just a neutral thing, I think.” 

He nods. “Hey, thanks for coming with us on the trip. It was fun to have you around.” 

You swallow at the words, wanting to tell him he was a liar and he knew it. 

Instead you shrug again. “You know me, just happy to be invited.” 

“I think it’s good for me to be surrounded by good people you know? Especially before I leave in a few months.” 

You hum, not trusting your voice. 

Good people. He meant Tommy. Tommy and Madison. Tommy and Madison and Bailey. Tommy and Madison and Bailey and yes, even Eli. 

You wouldn’t make the mistake of thinking he meant you. 

“Can I admit something?” he says, voice suddenly small. It catches your attention, causing you to look up at him. 

“Of course.” You whisper, stopping to watch him. 

“Is it weird to admit that I’m scared?” He asks, voice a little breathless. 

“Scared... of me?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows.

“No. No!″ He almost shouts, holding his hands out. “God no, never of you. I’m- It’s gonna sound so stupid.”

“It won’t.” You say firmly. 

“I’m terrified of my future. I- I know I was the one who choose it but- what if I’m not good enough? What if-” He ducks his head, sucking in a breath. “What if this is it? What if this is the best I’m ever gonna get?” 

The wind feels knocked from your chest as you stumble forward, reaching out for him. “Bradley.” You whisper, taking his hand. “Bradley, no.” 

His shrugs, eyes watering. “I’m just scared.” 

You offer him a sad smile squeezing his hand. “I think- I think it’s okay to be scared. You’re doing something scary! Going after your dreams is the most terrifying thing in the world, but if you didn’t, if you never knew, you’d always wonder what if.” 

He sucks in a breath through his teeth, not meeting your eye. “Thanks Sunshine.” 

“Bradley, you deserve the whole world. You are going to accomplish so much and the rest of us are just lucky to know you and your greatness. We’re all better for knowing you.” 

He lets out a choked chuckle, pulling you into a hug before you can even protest. His grip is tight around you and you hesitantly reach up, wrapping your arms around his larger frame. 

You frown into his jacket as you stand there, knowing in your heart that no matter how Bradley Bradshaw feels about you, you will always love him. 

[subliminalbo]

It was a neat little trick, the hypnotist's show. But it was still just a trick. No different than any of the other hundred of stage hypnotist videos buried on Weird Youtube.

What set her apart was that she was good. The hypnotist had only been in Romero for two weeks and she'd already fleeced enough Carpenter State students to fill a bus. When Sylvia sent her student operatives Tyler and Andrea to scope out her midnight show, they'd returned the next morning with light wallets, still half-tranced.

Now Sylvia had to see it for herself.

Things were always boring in Romero until they weren't. Sylvia had to find her pleasures in the moments in between, mostly playing with her students like dolls. In Madison, she'd discovered just how far she could take it, crafting a mind controller of her own design. But the hypnotist's experience presented an exciting new challenge.

Sylvia bought a ticket to her show in River City and found herself completely enthralled. The young woman was as beautiful as she was charismatic. Her silky Spanish accent melted into the mind as her words washed over the crowd. She had complete command of everyone, not just her participants on stage.

Of course Sylvia knew the grift. The crowd was as important as the players. The hypnotist spent her days on campus scouting for marks, passing out flyers to her show. She was a student of people above all else and she made sure to pack her audience with the weakest wills in Romero.

She spoke softly into the microphone, facing the crowd instead of the four participants sitting up on stage. She'd been working everyone since the start of the show, and when she spoke directly to her audience they all listened.

A chorus of "I hear and obey" echoed from the small auditorium's seats. Sylvia smirked.

The hypnotist let the crowd come to her, the hypnotized audience rising from their seats and emptying their pockets on the stage before her feet. Sylvia watched the scene unfold from her place in the back.

A neat little trick indeed.

The hypnotist was surprised when Sylvia approached her after the show, even if she wasn't quite a deer in headlights. It was more of a curious surprise. She'd observed Sylvia watching from the back. Not her ideal audience member. At first she feared that the older woman was a cop, but she didn't have the look. Intrigued, she accepted Sylvia's invitation for drinks.

Sylvia picked a place outside of River City near Romero's culture district. A quiet lounge just a few blocks from Carpenter State's campus. It was Sylvia's home field.

"So you really study mind control?" the hypnotist asked between a sip of Cognac.

"Oh yeah," Sylvia replied. "Seventeen years now."

"'Dr. Sylvia Fielding'," the hypnotist read from Sylvia's card. "I can't say I've heard of you."

"Do you read a lot of academic journals?" Sylvia asked.

"One or two," the hypnotist joked.

"Truth be told, my kind of research doesn't get published often. You won't find me on Youtube hypnotizing spring breakers on the boardwalk either."

"You're a serious person," the hypnotist shrugged. "So is this a friendly drink or something else?"

"What do you think?" Sylvia smiled.

"You saw my show from start to finish and left of your own free will. If I had to guess I'd say this is a shakedown. Or..." She paused for effect, Sylvia noting the way the hypnotist tapped her fingers on the table, her nails clicking rhythmically on its glossy surface. "You find me irresistible and just had to see me up close."

Sylvia laughed. "Let me ask you something." She pulled one of the hypnotist's flyers from her purse and read out loud: "'Ivy Deseo'—that's not your real name is it?"

"No. If you had a show like mine you'd use a fake name too. It's dumb but I always had a thing for Poison Ivy. I'm not afraid to invite the comparison. Men and women fall before me but the men—they really fall."

There it was again, the tapping.

"You prefer the women, don't you?"

The hypnotist cocked her head to the side in consideration. "I'm not a lesbian, Dr. Fielding. I just prefer the challenge. When couples attend my show I know I can have the men kneeling before me, but their girlfriends—with a little effort I can make them do anything."

"Anything?" Sylvia repeated.

Tap, tap, tap.

"You want to come back to my hotel room," the hypnotist said.

Tap, tap, tap.

"Yes," Sylvia whispered.

"A little higher," the hypnotist instructed, arching her back as she sank into the pleasure washing over her body. "Slower...more pressure..."

Sylvia whimpered as she obeyed, slowing the movement of her tongue into deliberate upward strokes over the hypnotist's clit. She could feel the woman's thighs tightening in her grasp. She was inching closer.

"That's right, that's right," the hypnotist moaned. "Yes, just like that. Just like...fuck! Fuck, you're a good mindless slut, aren't you? Oh God, yes!"

She came loud, a display no doubt meant to demoralize Sylvia further. Good sluts make their mistress scream.

Sylvia stood up from her position on the floor, raising her hand up to her dripping chin.

"Don't wipe," the hypnotist said. "I want to admire you all covered in me."

"Is that how you like it?" Sylvia asked. "Use me and discard me?"

"Not much use for anyone once I've had my fun."

"So disappointing," Sylvia pouted. "I really expected more from you."

The hypnotist pushed herself up on her elbows. "Wait, how..?"

"Stop," Sylvia commanded, extending the palm of her hand. The hypnotist froze in place. "We could have had so much fun together," she sighed, remembering the days when her will clashed with Madison's.

Disappointed, Sylvia took the hypnotist through the regular speech. "Submission is a natural state of being, your will is mine, yadda, yadda."

The hypnotist's accent faded as she responded to Sylvia's induction. "Yes, Mistress. I obey, Mistress. My body is yours, Mistress." A California girl, if Sylvia had to guess. A suspicion confirmed when she picked through the woman's wallet. She pulled a couple hundred for Tyler and Andrea.

The hypnotist's name was Alma Rodriguez. She was twenty-seven years old.

"Tell me everything about Alma," Sylvia commanded.

"What do you want to know, Mistress?"

"Do you have a partner?"

"My boyfriend," Alma said. "He books my shows and scouts audience members."

"When did you start hypnotizing people?"

"I began playing with audio files in high school. I was very good at it."

"Any education?"

"I dropped out."

"I'm sure we can still find a place for you in my office," Sylvia said.

"What do you mean, Mistress?"

"You're going to stay in Romero," Sylvia said. "I'll take care of the boyfriend."

"Anything for you," Alma said quietly, her eyes glistening in blank surrender.

"That's right," Sylvia smiled. "Now let's see what you can do with your tongue."

[alienelvisobsession]

The David Bowie Connection

David Jones’s very first performance was not as David Bowie, Ziggy Stardust, or the Thin White Duke, but as an Elvis impersonator in front of a crowd of Boy Scouts in Bromley. The year was 1958, David was 11 years old, and among the songs that he sang for his audience there was probably “Hound Dog”, which his cousin Kristina remembers as one of the records he owned, and to which they danced to “like possessed elves”. It’s important to remember that it was difficult to get American records back then in England, but through his work as a promoter, David’s father managed to bring home a collection of American 45s, which included Little Richard, Fats Domino and, obviously, Elvis. Rock ‘n roll was like a ray of sunshine in David’s grey postwar world, still plagued with food rations and the rubble of bomb sites.

In high school, David liked jamming with his guitar, like Elvis did, and he was also interested in fashion and science fiction like him. Rock ‘n roll was elusive in England, but there were cafés with a jukebox where you could hear it as if it were some secret information. David liked oddities and stagecraft, like Elvis’ gyrations and extravagant clothes. He also loved Little Richard, whom he thought would die on stage because of the energy he put during his concerts. He would later say: “Elvis had the choreography, he had a way of looking at the world that was totally original, totally naïve, and totally available as a blueprint. Who wouldn’t want to copy Elvis? Elvis had it all. It wasn’t just the music that was interesting, it was everything else. And he had a lot of everything else.”

After a few unsuccessful albums, David Jones – now using the name David Bowie, like the knife – started experimenting with what the press called “glam rock”, that a lot of people thought was decadent and deviant. In 1972, when questioned about young boys with glitter makeup attending concerts, he said: “What about Elvis Presley? If his image wasn’t bisexual then I don’t know what is. People talk about fag rock, but that’s an unwieldy term at the best of times.” You could say that Bowie, like Elvis, obliterated boundaries in music, as much as in fashion, changing forever what was permitted and accepted as a stage artist, playing with clothes, makeup and sexuality in new ways.

Bowie’s fascination with Elvis was so big that in June 1972 he attended his concert at Madison Square Garden. “I came over for a long weekend,” Bowie recalled many years later. “I remember coming straight from the airport and walking into Madison Square Garden very late. I was wearing all my clobber from the Ziggy period and I had great seats near the front. The whole place just turned to look at me and I felt like a right cunt. I had brilliant red hair, some huge padded space suit and those red boots with big black soles. I wished I’d gone for something quiet, because I must have registered with him. He was well into his set.”

That was the concert that triggered the famous New York Times headline “Like a Prince from Another Planet”. It’s serendipitous that Bowie’s influential album “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars”, where he plays an androgynous alien rock star, came out that same month. The alter ego and stage persona of Ziggy Stardust, which he used in 1972-73, had started to form the year before, during an American tour. Like everything in his music and stagecraft, Bowie was inspired by many things, from Iggy Pop to experimental theater. Ziggy Stardust was loosely inspired by Vince Taylor, a 1950s rock ‘n roller who Bowie witnessed going off his rocker and obsessing over aliens, but it’s also reminiscent of Elvis (whose fall from grace had already started, according to many, and whose mythology includes being an alien). Unlike other early Elvis fans, though, Bowie loved Elvis’ 1970s jumpsuits and explicitly told his costume designer Freddie Burretti to draw inspiration from them for his stage costumes. As a result, Ziggy’s costumes are as outrageous as Elvis’, but in a different way.

To double down on his rock n’ roll opera, “Rock ‘n Roll Suicide”, the melodramatic song with which Ziggy closed his concerts, is essentially about a washed-up rockstar. Ziggy literally sang it in an Elvis-style jumpsuit, and a solemn voice announced at the end of the concert: “Mr. Bowie has left the building”. Ziggy is an archetypal messiah rockstar who arrives on earth from Mars, becomes a prophet of rock ‘n roll, and then literally destroys himself. You can argue that Ziggy Stardust was a departure from hippies: a postmodern interpretation of a rockstar, and a meditation on superstar status.

The following album, “Aladdin Sane”, where Bowie continues the story of Ziggy Stardust, features the rockstar with a lightning bolt drawn across his face, which many say is a reference to Elvis’ TCB logo.

Elvis and Bowie, who share the same birthday, are very different artists, but if Elvis was the sacrificial lamb of rock ‘n roll, Bowie had his example to become a master in brand renewal, and studied deaths and rebirths. After killing his Ziggy Stardust alter ego, Bowie had other inspirations and continued to create extravagant personas to use on stage and off stage, not without controversies.

Bowie’s connection with Elvis went further than just liking his early hits: he had an awareness of his own fallibility that made him empathize with Elvis on a more profound level. Of his disastrous 1978 movie “Just a Gigolo”, for example, he said that it was “thirty-two Elvis movies rolled into one.” He was still very much fascinated with him in 1975-76, to such a degree that he pitched his song “Golden Years”, which incorporates elements of 1950s doo-wop into a funk tune, to him. Although it’s unclear if Elvis ever heard the song, Bowie’s office did contact Colonel Parker for a possible collaboration, maybe as a producer for one of Elvis’ albums.

Even Bowie’s last song, “Black Star”, references Elvis. Written at a time when Bowie knew he was dying, the song has the same title as an an alternative version of the title track for his 1960 western movie “Flaming Star”. It’s a song about death, as in the movie Pacer knows his time has come and Elvis sings: “Every man has a black star / A black star over his shoulder / And when a man sees his black star / He knows his time, his time has come”. It seems to me that Bowie intended to close a circle with this reference: since they were born on the same day, it seemed only natural to reference Elvis’ fictional death in one of his movies. Only, in one of his most clever postmodern games, Bowie’s death wasn’t fictional after all.

Here is David Bowie imitating Elvis’ voice for a Christmas message on BBC radio 6 Music in 2013:

August 16, 2002 marked the 25th anniversary of Elvis’ death and Bowie opened the concert with “I Feel So Bad” and “One Night”, and told the story of what he was doing when Elvis died:

Here is a link with my other connection posts. I have written about many artists who were inspired by Elvis, from Jimi Hendrix to Quentin Tarantino. If you have any suggestions about artists who have an Elvis connection worth exploring let me know, and I’ll do some research for my next post.

[morb1dg1rla]

@crimsonbullets // cont.

scout nodded her head,shrugging her shoulders,❝ always has been and always will be,i guess. ❞she glanced over at madison again,a small smile on her face knowing she'd be safe and sound and unbothered from her peaceful sleep.

scout thought about it for a minute,really thought about it and thought maybe zoe had potiental,but she was just so freaking annoying,constantly talking about kyle and what to do with him. it got on her last nerve and frankly,zoe should've seen this coming,if not from herself,then probably madison.

❝ final choice. they're a pain in my ass,both of them. ❞she eyed zoe,the look of fear and terror on her face made her chuckle,she turned to cal and smirked,patting his shoulder gently.

❝ do whatever,just don't wake the girls. last thing i need is a rat around this place. ❞