#Maybe the old orthopedic walking boot from when my dad broke his leg

[driftingballoons]

it’s garage cleaning day babey

[neverending2012]

My Journey To You Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

SUMMARY: Sam appreciates his family; Abby and Sam share quiet time together; Finn begins to heal his relationship with Lucy and Matt; Finn confesses to Sam about the details of his affair; LaTonya and Cooper get married; Cooper faces his past when his parents come to the wedding

RATING: Mature

WARNING: Cursing, Dark themes, violence and weapons, traumatic childhood memories

NOTES: I want to give a special Thank You to Whoknowstv for giving me the idea of what happens between Sam and Abby in this chapter; your insight is much appreciated!

A FAMILY AGAIN

Finn drove to the Star Pride Diner. Lucy was beside him in the front seat, staring out the window, ignoring him altogether and Matt was in the back seat, hunched over his tablet, playing a game. The day was gray, dull and cloudy. Finn remembered that when Matt was three years old, he used to call days like this "soggy days" because the rain made the ground soggy and wet, and his little red rubber boots would sink into the mud as he walked across the yard, splashing in puddles and looking for earthworms. Finn glanced in the mirror at his son.

"Hey, Matt, it's a soggy day," Finn said.

Matt looked up.

"Huh?"

"Uh, nothing," Finn said, suddenly feeling stupid for bringing it up at all; that was so long ago, when things were easier and all it took was watching an Elmo DVD and eating peanut butter and honey sandwiches to make everything better.

When they got to the diner, Finn parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt. Lucy didn't move. She folded her arms, and gave him a sideways glance.

"Dad, why did you bring us here?"

"I don't know."

"Really?"

Her tone was so like Rachel's when she was angry with him, dismissive and questioning, and suddenly he became a culprit in some conspiracy to keep them miserable.

"I wanted to spend some time with you."

Lucy looked away from him and said nothing. Finn looked at her profile, her short, pixie-cut, light brown hair had faint traces of gold hair glitter sparkling on her locks, a small, fake rose tattoo was on the side of her neck, and silver Celtic cross earrings were in her shell pink ears. She wore Burt's old gray windbreaker with a hole in the elbow; and cut off paint splattered jean shorts. She was a lovely mess.

"Are we just gonna sit here?" Matt said from the back seat.

Lucy sighed, unbuckled her seat belt, and got out of the car. Matt did the same, and soon all three of them were walking into the diner. After they were seated and given menus by a old, plump waitress with teased hair, who talked about how her arthritis was flaring up, before hobbling away to the kitchen.

Finn gazed at his children seated across from him in the red vinyl booth, staring at their menus and frowning. Matt's black t-shirt had a few bleach stains and Finn briefly wondered if he had tried to do his own laundry again.

The diner was empty except for an elderly couple in the back corner drinking coffee and reading the paper. The black and white tiled checkerboard floor shined under the light and the waitress' white orthopedic shoes squeaked as she walked across the floor, bringing them a pitcher of water, before leaving once again. His children ignored him, whispering to each other or saying nothing at all. He reached across the table and grabbed their skinny hands, startling them.

"I'm sorry for shutting you out."

"Fine," Lucy said, slapping her menu down on the table, "Can we go home now?"

"No, we can't go home. We just got here."

And silence settled between them once again. Finn knew that reconnecting with them wouldn't be easy, and their angry was justifiable; but he loved them too much to give up. He dug into his pocket and took out a quarter and dropped it into the tabletop jukebox. He selected an old Fleetwood Mac song called Gold Dust Woman and it began to play. Rachel loved that song. Her fathers would play it when she was a little girl, when they went on road trips through the French countryside, visiting small villages and passing by romantic gray stone castles and rolling green hills, while eating cheese sandwiches and drinking Orangina. Sometimes Rachel would sing it to him when he held her in the dark, drawing circles on his bare chest with her fingers, making him fall in love with her all over again.

He looked up and saw Lucy staring at him with tear-filled eyes.

"How could you?"

"Lucy I – "

"How could you play Mom's song?"

"I thought – "

"You never think. That's your problem."

Matt put his hand on Lucy's arm.

"Luce, it's ok."

"No it's not. You don't get to have her; not even her song." Lucy said, pulling a napkin from the stainless steel dispenser and wiping her tears with it.

"Lucy, I love your mother. What's wrong with you?"

"If you love her so much why did you cheat on her?"

Finn felt the air leave his chest. He was numb. The waitress came to the table, setting down plates of burgers and fries and left again mumbling something about getting their shakes and cokes.

"Lucy, how did you –"

"I overheard Aunt Mercedes and Mom talking in the kitchen. Mom was crying. They didn't know I was there. Nobody knows that I know except Matt."

Matt consoled Lucy by putting his arm around her as she cried on his shoulder, and a few tears slipped down his cheeks as well. Finn didn't know what to say about a tragic mistake he made so long ago, before Matt and Lucy were even born. His heart broke as he watched them cry.

"I'm sorry," was all Finn managed to say.

"Fuck you," Lucy said.

Lucy was generally docile and sweet and never cursed. Her venomous words came from a place of immense hurt; Finn could see that.

"Lucy, please I – "

"Leave me alone."

Finn turned to his son.

"Matt?"

Matt rubbed Lucy's back and looked at Finn.

"Take us home."

Finn asked the waitress to pack everything up in to-go boxes, paid the bill, and they left. But instead of going home, Finn decided to take a drive; he couldn't give up so easily. Lucy cried beside him and Matt sat stoically in the back seat.

"Where are we going?" Lucy asked, as they passed the road that led to Sam and Mercedes' house.

"I don't know."

"What are you doing?"

"I know that I love you and Matt."

"Take me home!"

Finn kept driving while Lucy yelled at him. It was raining harder than before, the windshield wipers swooshed and squeaked; the car smelled like French fries and hamburgers, and Finn felt Lucy's anger in his heart. She squeezed his arm, her small fingers digging into his bicep.

"Stop the car!"

Rachel had warned him, but he didn't know it would be this hard; she said that there was love under the hate; he wasn't so sure about that, but it kept him fighting for his kids.

"I want to get out!"

"Lucy, we're in the middle of nowhere," Matt said, a voice of reason.

That wasn't entirely true. They were on a narrow back road surrounded by woods, but it was far from nowhere. Finn continued driving until he couldn't take her screaming any more. He remembered her crying as a baby when she had colic and a fever and this was far worse; he was the cause of what was hurting her, not an illness, but his selfish, thoughtless actions. If he could go back in time, to the moment he met Sugar, and simply walked away, went home to Rachel, instead of letting her kiss him, things would be different. Or if he had stayed open to his kids, instead of running away from them when Rachel got cancer, this hatred wouldn't exist. But he couldn't go back, he could only go forward. He pulled the car over to the side of the road. He unbuckled his seatbelt and tried to hug Lucy.

"I can't undo what I've done but I am so sorry and I love you."

Lucy punched him hard in the face, and got out of the car. Matt got out too and ran after her.

"Lucy!"

She kept running down the road, Finn sat at the wheel, his nose bleeding; he forgot how strong she was; he had taught her and Matt how to fight, on sunny afternoons, they would practice hitting a freestanding punching bag in the backyard; he taught them how to hold their fists, bob and weave, and Rachel stood in the doorway, watching them, sometimes smiling, other times worried that it was all too violent, and those afternoons lasted forever it seemed, until the sunset, and the air turned cool, and his kids looked at him, all ruddy cheeked and breathless, and there was love in their eyes; he was someone who protected them and they could count on… and they would run a race to the house and Matt usually won, his skinny legs carrying him at lightning speed. Finn knew that Lucy let him win, because she wanted to see him smile and Matt loved to win, but Lucy wanted to stay beside Finn, to stretch out the sunset a little longer, hold his hand… she was Daddy's girl.

"You may not get that look again, but that's ok, just get them back," Rachel said.

Finn hopped out of the car, and chased after his children. Lucy and Matt were getting further and further away from him, and he couldn't lose them again, couldn't let them suffer alone any longer; the rain beat down on them, he was going to get them back, broken souls and all, they would be a family again, maybe not the family they were before, but they would be a family.

He could see their figures bobbing between the green-leafed trees, Matt's bleach stained shirt and Lucy's gray jacket were visible in the distance, as they ran through the woods, sticks crunching under their feet, ran pouring down on them. They kept running and Lucy tripped over a fallen branch and fell, landing on the ground, Matt was close behind and he went to her, crouching beside her as she slowly sat up. When Finn caught up to them, he collapsed beside them, he tried to put his arms around them, but Lucy punched him in the stomach, screaming at him, and he fell back on the ground, and then she was upon him, slapping and punching his face.

"Why did you stop? Why did you stop?"

Matt tried to pull her off of him, but Lucy stayed put, using Finn as an emotional punching bag, and he endured the pain if it meant he would get his daughter back.

"Stop what?" he said, gasping for breath, in between her ceaseless blows.

Lucy erupted into sobs.

"Loving us."

Matt coaxed Lucy off of their father and they sat together on the mud and sticks, arms around each other, crying in the downpour. Lucy's words felt like broken glass twisting into his heart. She thought he stopped loving her and Matt.

Without any hesitation or worry about whether he was good or bad or right or wrong, or if they would reject him again, he put his arms around them and hugged them tight, because it wasn't about him or his feelings, it was about them. He began to cry.

"I'm sorry. I know that sounds empty. But I will spend the rest of my life being by your side. I love you both, with all that I am. I hurt your mother a long time ago, before you were born. I can't explain to you why I did what I did because it's too complicated and fucked up to explain. But know this. I am your father. I've never stopped loving you or caring about you or wanting what's best for you. Even if you hate me forever; I will always love you."

"You abandoned us," Lucy said, "When Mom got sick, you stopped being our father, and now that I know what you did, you stopped being my hero. So what's left?"

"What we have right here."

"I don't understand."

"We start from pain and work from there."

"I'm tired of pain."

"So am I."

"I don't want Mom to die," she said, clinging to him, "And I don't want to lose you either, but I hate you right now."

"I know."

"I hate you too," Matt said, holding on as well.

Finn thought it was funny that for all their hatred, they held him tight, and he held them as they cried.

"Hate you so much," Lucy whispered into his neck, "Why did you go away?"

"I'm sorry," Finn said.

"You always kissed us goodnight," Matt said, "So I guess I knew you weren't gone forever, but it hurt anyway."

Even on his darkest days, Finn would tiptoe into their bedrooms to check on them and give them a kiss on the cheek. It wasn't much, but it was something.

"I don't know how to feel," Lucy said, looking up at him with his hazel eyes, "I wish you didn't hurt Mom, but she forgave you. I wish you were there for us when she got sick but now you're here."

Finn kissed her wet forehead.

"I made some awful, horrible mistakes, but I'm here now. I swear."

"I don't know…" Matt said, blinking through his tears, "Are you?"

He couldn't blame Matt's apprehension. It has been months since they had any real interaction. He would have to earn their trust all over again, no matter how long it took, and he was ready for all the storms that lie ahead of them.

"I am," Finn said, kissing the top of Matt's head.

They sat there a while longer and then slowly stood up, but Lucy had trouble standing, and Finn saw that her ankle looked swollen; it was slightly purple and puffy.

"I think you sprained it," he said, touching the bruised flesh, "Come on, I'll carry you on my back."

For the first time in a long time, she sort of smiled. Finn had given them thousands of piggy back rides over the years: going up the stairs at their house in Tennessee, running across supermarket parking lots with Matt whizzing passed them pushing an empty shopping cart while racing them to the car, walking on snowy sidewalks, puffs of white air coming from their mouths as they laughed out loud in the cold sunshine… that was long ago, but maybe for this moment, he could be her hero one more time. She climbed onto his back and he stood up, and then he held out his hand to his son, and Matt intertwined his thin fingers through Finn's huge ones and they journeyed together out of the woods.

QUIET TIME

Abby sat on the living room floor, between Sam's long legs, as he combed out her hair. The house was quiet. Mercedes had taken the twins to the park. Matt, Lucy and Finn were at the doctor, to get Lucy's ankle examined, and Hiram and Sean took Rachel for a drive to see the historic Star Pride covered bridges.

Abby and Sam were in their pajamas. Their empty superhero cereal bowls were on the cluttered coffee table, with remnants of Fruity Pebbles floating in rainbow colored milk at the bottom of each one; the maroon and silver Iron Man bowl was Abby's; and the red, white and blue Captain America bowl was Sam's.

A basket of clean, white sheets that smelled like sunshine and lilacs, sat on the love seat across from them. Sam's phone vibrated a few times beside him and he would glance at it for a second, but never answered it.

Abby loved mornings like this, just quiet with the sun streaming in through the windows, and the TV on low, and Sam combing her hair in that gentle way of his because he knew she was tender-headed.

He parted a section of her hair and began to braid it.

"After I finish your hair, let's get dressed and we can go out and do something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. We'll figure it out."

Abby smiled.

"Ok."

Then she started their game.

"Tell me a secret."

"Alright, yesterday at the supermarket, I ate six grapes in the produce section because I was hungry as hell and I didn't care who saw me."

Abby laughed.

"Really?"

"Yep. Your turn."

"Ok. I saw this boy I have a crush on at Walgreen's when Mommy was picking up your Ex-lax and corn remover, and she was already in line, but I was in the candy section and when I picked up a box of Red Hots, I looked up and he's right beside me and he's staring at me."

Sam began braiding another section of her hair.

"Then what happened?"

"He said hi."

"Did you say hi back?"

"Yes, really fast, and then I ran and got in line with Mommy and she said I didn't need Red Hots but let me get them anyway."

"What's the boy's name?"

"Travis."

"Oh."

"I was so embarrassed when he said hi. I got all scared. I don't know, it's fun and tragic all at once."

"It gets worse. Trust me."

"Do you think he thinks I'm pretty?"

"How could he not think you're pretty?"

Abby shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Well, if he doesn't, I'll beat him up for you."

Abby laughed, leaning her head against his knee, her temple rubbing against the soft cotton of his faded blue pajama bottoms. Sam tapped the comb against the tip of her nose, as she gazed up at him, his green eyes shined.

"You're more than pretty. You're smart, special, and just plain wonderful. And if any boy doesn't see that, he's not worth having anyway."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me for the truth."

They grew quiet again and Abby felt warm all over. Then she remembered her Daddy; he would say stuff like that and make her laugh… he was so much like Sam. She stared out the window and saw a ruby-throated hummingbird drinking from the feeder that hung from the maple tree in the front yard; it's dark wings flapping at lightning speed, the sun shined on its black head and bright red throat. Since the living room window was open, letting in the morning breeze, she could faintly hear it's squeaking call as it darted about.

"We should put up a feeder in the back yard too."

"Good idea. We can buy one today."

"You know what else I want to do?"

"What's that?"

"I want to get ice cream cones from Kramer's. A double scoop of peanut butter fudge swirl."

Sam stopped braiding her hair and looked down at her with raised eyebrows.

"Double scoop?"

"I can finish it."

"You mean I end up eating the rest of it because you always get full half-way through."

"Oh, alright, single scoop, and I want sprinkles."

"Your Aunt Stacey could never finish hers either when we were kids."

Abby could picture Aunt Stacey as a blonde little girl with long hair, tanned skin, and fat cheeks, handing her big brother Sam her half-eaten ice cream cone on a hot summer day in Dusk Hollow, Tennessee. Then she suddenly realized that she missed her. Sam finished braiding her hair and fluffed out her big Afro puff in the center of her head; it was surrounded by rows of braids all leading up to it.

"I got a call from her the other day. She's trying to come visit next month," Sam said.

"I hope she can come."

"Me too."

He handed her a mirror to inspect his work.

"What do you think?"

She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled; she loved the hairstyle and the white Hello Kitty ribbon he used to tie around the Afro puff.

"It's perfect."

Sam leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"I'm glad you like it. Let's go get dressed and then we leave."

"Ok," she said, rising from the floor and stretching. She reached over and hugged Sam, feeling light, happy and loved and then it slipped out:

"I love you, Papa."

She wasn't sure why she didn't call him Sam the way she normally did, but Papa felt right, maybe because that's what Sam called his father; she wasn't sure, but now that her name was Tinsley Hummel, something shifted in their relationship.

"What did you say?"

"I said, I love you, Papa."

Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at her.

"Do you want to call me that from now on?"

"Yes, if you'll let me."

"Let you? Of course I'll let you… I didn't want to push you and …" he stopped speaking and touched her cheek, "I really like the sound of Papa."

"Me too," she said.

GRATITUDE, LOVE, AND FAMILY

When Sam and Finn got home from work on Friday afternoon, both of them were bone tired and in foul moods. The day had been long and brutal: arguments with clients, late deliveries from vendors, last minute cancellations, the list was endless. And as they were driving home, they got a flat tire and had to change it during a heavy downpour that seemed to come out of nowhere; nothing went right for them that day. Sam had never cursed so much in his life. His lower back ached from changing the flat tire and from having to push the truck out of the mud, after they took a wrong turn and ended up in a shallow ditch at a construction site. Finn's face was bruised and his nose still out of joint since Lucy punched him a few days ago; he was muddy and sweaty too.

However the sun was shining when they got on the road again and that gave them a little reprieve, but as they opened the front door, all wet, dirty, and exhausted, instead of peace and quiet soothing their bad day tensions, chaos greeted them in the form of toddler and adolescent energy; the sound of feet pounding across the hardwood floors and a good amount of yelling.

Matt was chasing the twins around the living room growling, holding his hands up as if he were about to attack them; his face was painted like a bear, brown with a black nose, and he even wore fuzzy brown ears that sprouted from the top of his head and bobbed as he moved about; brown fake fur slippers were on his feet. He wore a red t-shirt and basketball shorts, his knobby knees had a few flesh-colored adhesive bandages and bruises on them due to a mishap climbing the oak tree in the back yard. Sam figured that the face painting was probably Lucy's handiwork since she loved that sort of thing. She and Abby had glitter stars and rainbows on their cheeks. Tubes of face paint and glitter were scattered all over the coffee table, spilling onto the stacks of unopened mail.

Rosy and Jake were laughing and screaming as Matt chased them; they didn't know whether to be scared or happy; it was all very exciting to them. Rosy was a fast little runner, her chubby legs and pudgy feet made many laps around the couch, while Jake was right behind her, only slightly slower than his sister; they were in pastel blue Mickey shorts and tank tops, and Jake had a faded pink floral print pillowcase tied around his neck, looking like a caped superhero; and Rosy wore a red clown nose.

Their hair was wild, sticking up every which way, Rosy's blonde kinky curls were spread out all around her head like a halo, and parts of Jake's straight black hair looked like he had touched one of those static electricity balls at the science museum, it defied gravity, and their eyes were wide and bright: Rosy's shiny and green and Jake's brown and sparkling.

Each shrill scream made Sam feel like someone was drilling a hole into his skull. He was dying for some Excedrin. Lucy and Abby sat on the brown leather couch watching the spectacle of the chase and laughing.

"The bear is gonna get you," Abby said as they ran passed her.

"No!" Jake shouted almost tripping over his feet, but he kept going.

The old Disney movie, the Jungle Book was playing on TV and the volume was high, Mowgli and Baloo were singing The Bare Necessities and dancing in the animated Indian jungle. Sam and Finn stood in the doorway staring at their children. It was simply too much for such a rough day. Sam put his fingers in his mouth and whistled so loud that it rose above the cacophony of noise. Everyone stopped and looked at them.

"Could y'all quiet down please?"

"Pa!" Jake and Rosy said running over to him, grabbing onto to his dirty jeans, not caring about the red mud caked on them. Ever since Abby had started calling him Papa, the twins took after her and began doing the same, though they failed to pronounce the second syllable. They idolized Abby and would try to do everything she did. Rosy even got Sam to put the same Hello Kitty ribbons in her hair too, once she saw that Abby wore them. In a way, this change in what they called him puzzled Sam because they heard her call him by his first name, and didn't copy that, but in the end it didn't matter, so he stopped trying to figure it out.

And despite his bad mood and fatigue, he scooped them up in his arms, his back and head throbbing, and he melted as they wrapped their little arms around him; smelling their sweet scent of baby lotion and the strawberry banana smoothies that Mercedes made them for an afternoon snack.

"Was the bear trying to get you?" he said.

They nodded and he kissed their cheeks, blowing raspberry kisses on them. Abby turned down the TV.

"Sorry, Papa, we got carried away."

Sam smiled at her.

"That's ok, Sugarplum."

She got up from the couch and hugged his waist, looking up at him with concern.

"Are you ok?"

That tore at his heart; he didn't want her to worry about him; it should be the other way around.

"I'm fine, just tired, that's all."

"We're exhausted," Finn said as he walked over to Matt and Lucy, giving each of them a hug and kiss on the forehead, "But I'm glad you guys were having fun," he said and pointed to Lucy's bandaged foot that was propped up on some throw pillows, "Feeling any better?"

"A little. It doesn't' hurt as much… Mom is taking a nap."

"I can't see how anyone could sleep with all this noise," Finn said.

"Mom can sleep through a hurricane."

Finn nodded.

"True."

Mercedes walked into the living room, wiping her hands on a dishtowel, a smudge of flour on her cheek; her green tank top and yoga pants were stained with what looked like tomato sauce. Her hair was in curlers and covered with a black silk scarf. Then Sam noticed the spicy aroma of his favorite gumbo wafting from the kitchen. The moment she looked at him; he knew that she knew what he was feeling.

He put the twins down on the couch and hugged her. She kissed him and said:

"Go upstairs, shower, and lie down. I'll call you when dinner is ready. I just bought a bottle of Excedrin and it's on the nightstand on your side of the bed. I love you."

Sam kissed her back, holding her tight.

"We're still on for tonight, right?"

"Of course we are, Mr. Hummel."

"Just checking Mrs. Hummel."

They kissed once more and he and Finn went upstairs to relax before dinner.

OOO

After he showered, changed into sweats, took his Excedrin and laid down on the bed, he sighed in relief, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the day's awful events and about Mercedes and the kids. No matter how bad things got, seeing his family and loving them, always made him feel better. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. About an hour later, he felt Mercedes kiss his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw her leaning over him, smiling. She had changed into a short-sleeved cotton blue calico dress and her hair was in curled ringlets, red lipstick was on her lips, and sapphire stud earrings shined in her ears.

"Baby, dinner is ready."

He pulled her closer and kissed her soft lips.

"Did you get all prettied up for me?"

"Maybe," she said.

"You didn't have to," he said, kissing her again, "You're beautiful in a burlap sack… but I like this dress."

"Thank you."

"Could you stay here with me for a little bit? I need to hold you," Sam said.

"Ok."

He held her in silence, feeling blessed and happy, something about holding Mercedes did this to him.

After a few minutes, his stomach growled.

"Come on," she said, getting up, "You need to eat."

Sam reluctantly got up from the bed and taking her hand, they left the bedroom and went downstairs to the dining room where everyone was just sitting down to the table. Finn and Rachel sat beside each other; she wore her wig and a touch of lip-gloss, a pink silk shawl was wrapped around her thin shoulders. Lucy sat next to her, filling the glass red rooster napkin holders with stacks of white napkins; and Matt and Abby were putting the twins into their high chairs.

A big, black pot of gumbo sat in the middle of the table, beside a silver pot of steaming hot jasmine rice and a glass bowl of tossed green salad with fresh basil. Mercedes also made a batch of buttery yeast dinner rolls that were in a brown wicker basket; covered with a clean white dish towel, and a clear plastic pitcher of homemade sweet tea with mint leaves floating on the surface was placed next to it. Sam and Mercedes sat at the opposite end of the table. Rosy's high chair was beside Sam and Jake was next to Mercedes. Once everyone was seated, all of them held hands, bowed their heads and Sam said grace:

"Our Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this food. Feed our souls on the bread of life and help us to do our part in kind words and loving deeds. We ask in Jesus' name, Amen."

Then everyone began filling their plates and talking at once and it was all so… just so good. It made Sam's heart glad. He grabbed Mercedes' hand and kissed it; she made their home a sanctuary through her love, laughter, and heart that blessed them and their lives everyday: her beautiful voice singing early in the morning as she brewed a pot of coffee, tickling the twins' bellies while she dressed them, holding Sam tight and not saying a word when he needed it most, standing Abby in the mirror and reflecting back all of her wonderful worth… there were too many moments to count; and he was so grateful to her, and later on that night he planned to worship every inch of her voluptuous body; show her how grateful and honored he was to be her husband.

Even though Rachel couldn't eat much, she sipped on sweet tea and joined in the various conversations, laughing and joking with all of them. He liked how she was at every meal with them; her presence brought warmth and love and Matt and Lucy needed her there.

The gumbo was delicious; it was Sam's favorite comfort food. The smoky Andouille sausage and juicy sweet tomatoes were flavorful and the rice was tender and fluffy and went well with the gumbo. He thought about when they planted those tomatoes in the garden, Abby and Mercedes wore big straw hats and Rosy was strapped to his back and Jake strapped to Mercedes; the sun shined down on them and the rich, black soil squished between their fingers; and now they were eating those tomatoes in a family meal; it amazed him how much time had passed.

He closed his eyes and felt everything around him; the clinking of glasses, the sound of forks and spoons tapping against the ceramic plates; Rosy and Jake chatting away in their own baby language, their little voices saying words in their unique way - car became 'cah', and tomato became 'mato', Mercedes giggling at something Finn said, Abby trying to recall a melody of a song Lucy liked and singing the first few notes, somewhat out of tune; the aromas of bread, spicy sausage, onions, tomatoes and butter floating around them, and the brush of Mercedes' satin soft skin against his whenever she leaned against him and held his hand…

This was life. And he loved it.

TRUTH AND CONFESSIONS

As the sun was setting in the horizon, the fading golden light shining on them, Sam and Finn sat on the back porch drinking cold bottles of beer. Hiram and Sean came for the kids and took them to the movies. Rosy and Jake were in the living room with Mercedes and Rachel watching Dora the Explorer. So Finn and Sam slipped away to talk for a while. Every week they found time to open up to each other again, like they did in the old days, and it was benefiting both of them. Finn called them emo sessions.

He caught Sam staring at him out of the corner of his eye, so he said:

"Why are you staring at me?"

"Lucy really nailed you, didn't she?" Sam said, gesturing toward his nose, "I mean you look like Rocky."

"Shut up, man," Finn said laughing, taking a drink of his beer, "I taught her too well."

"Maybe you did."

"What did Rachel think?"

Finn sighed.

"I don't know. What is there to think? There's a lot we have to process. You said Santana was a good therapist, right?"

"Look at Abby."

"Good point. I want us all to go to her. This is far from over."

"Damn right, it isn't," Sam said, leaning back in his chair staring out across the yard, "Finn, be straight with me."

"About what?"

"Why did you cheat on Rachel?"

Finn wasn't sure he wanted to dig into that grave; he never talked about why, just always apologized, begged for forgiveness, but the why, that was harder to provide. He hung his head.

"I never felt good enough for Rachel. When we got married… well you know how her fathers are, I was competing with rich people, smart people, better people… she gave up so much for me that I felt this constant pressure to live up to this crazy standard I couldn't really define. Then when we were living in Minnesota, I hung out at this coffee shop a lot, I'd go there on breaks and stuff and this girl named Sugar who worked there had a crush on me, she was 21 and she thought I was everything and – "

"Rachel thinks you're everything," Sam said, his voice low.

"I know that now. I was stupid then. Anyway, Sugar thought I was already who I wanted to become. She was an artist. She sketched me on a park bench one morning when it was snowing. Then she invited me to her apartment. I could've said no, I should've said no, but I didn't. She didn't have a car so I drove. When she got in my truck, she closed the door, leaned in real close to me, I can still smell her weird perfume that she made by mixing together oils and herbs; it smelled like vanilla and musk, and I can see that port wine birthmark on her cheek, and she kissed me and I didn't stop her because… because it felt good and I felt good about myself with her. No standards, no French words being thrown around, no talking about places I've never been, or foods I've never eaten. She was meatloaf, potatoes, and baseball, just an ordinary girl."

"That liked screwing other women's husbands," Sam said.

"Yeah," Finn said, not even angry, only remorseful, "And I gave in, didn't resist, and I kept kissing her and the car heater was running and she was… she wanted me, she kept saying she wanted me, over and over again."

Sugar unbuttoned her tight black mohair sweater, revealing ghost white skin, her black hair had neon blue streaks, and was so long that it hung passed her tiny waist, Rapunzel hair and sky blue eyes… She took off her sweater and bra. Snowflakes swirled around the truck, landing on the windows, and Finn brushed away her hair, and gazed at her full, heavy breasts, whiter than pale, like a porcelain doll, and he held them, his thumbs grazing over her pert nipples, rosy and faded, and delicate as flower petals.

"So we climbed in the back seat and it happened."

"And that's when Rachel caught you?"

"Yeah, she was supposed to meet me there that day, and I forgot, and she saw my truck and came over and looked inside and – "

"I can figure out what happened next," Sam said, opening another beer and taking a drink, "Was it worth it?"

Finn gave a mirthless laugh.

"Hell, no."

"I can't believe this happened."

"Neither can I. I love Rachel. I always have and always will; it's just that in the beginning, I doubted myself, and her love for me, which was unfair and selfish, but that's the truth. And I was so ashamed, I couldn't tell anyone. So I kept it a secret."

"You knew who Rachel was before you married her."

"I know. I just didn't know who I was."

"Yeah," Sam said.

"I hate you," Rachel said, standing in the parking lot, snowflakes falling on her scarlet wool coat, tears running down her cheeks, her face flushed red.

"Rachel, please – "

"You're not who I thought you were."

She took off her wedding ring and threw it on the ground, it landed on the snowy pavement, a sad sparkle in the fading sunlight.

It was two years before she put it back on again.

"You'll have to give Matt and Lucy time," Sam said, "Earn their trust again."

"I won't abandon them again," Finn said, finishing the last bit of his beer.

Sam squeezed his brother's hand.

"I know."

"I've never forgiven myself for the affair, and I can't forgive myself for ignoring Matt and Lucy when they needed me most. And I don't know if they will ever forgive me."

Sam was quiet. The breeze was growing chilly. He finally looked over at Finn and said:

"Forgiveness is hard to grapple with, all I can say is try to forgive yourself and do better. Be better everyday for your family."

"I will," Finn said.

THE WEDDING, THE PAST, AND THE FUTURE

LaTonya had never been so happy to see Sam, Mercedes, Abby and the twins. They arrived at the historic Ivy Mansion Hotel in Nashville on Saturday afternoon; the hotel had been around since the 1900's, and had just undergone renovations, restoring the antique crystal chandeliers, and the yellow, blue, and green painted glass skylight ceiling with a design of intertwining roses and ivy located in the main lobby.

The hotel was designed in Beaux-Arts style architecture, combining French and Italian Renaissance styles. Everything was stately and ornate from the tall, arched windows to the winding double marble staircase with decorative scrolled black iron hand rails. She saw them come in through automatic glass doors of the gold marble floored lobby, pulling their black wheeled luggage behind them, gingham diaper bags on their shoulders, and pushing a double stroller. She was speaking with the stressed out blonde coordinator in her office about the wedding on Sunday, and saw them through the glass partition.

She wasn't in good spirits. That morning, when she weighed herself, she saw that she had gained ten pounds and while she knew the cause of the weight gain was joyous; it also made her feel self-conscious too. Thankfully her wedding gown fit. But then she got a call about her father; they had to take him to the hospital because his bout with pneumonia was more severe than they thought, and he had a high fever, and given his advanced age and weakened immune system, he was put in the ICU and he was in stable condition. Cooper asked her if she was sure she wanted to go through with the last minute wedding and she said yes because she knew that her father would have wanted her to, being the man that he was.

She excused herself from the coordinator and ran over to them. When she hugged Mercedes, she burst into tears. And Mercedes hugged her tight, and shushed her.

"Shhh, LaTonya, sweetie, it's ok, we're here now."

"I'm so happy to see you."

"I can see that," Mercedes said, smiling at her, wiping a few tears away from LaTonya's cheeks.

"Is everything alright?" Sam asked, giving her a hug.

"I'm just all over the place emotionally."

"Where's Cooper?" Abby asked, also giving LaTonya a hug.

"He's discussing the dinner menu with the chef."

"Oh."

The twins were asleep in the stroller. LaTonya smiled down at them.

"They're adorable. They've really grown."

"Tell me about it," Mercedes said, "Time flies."

"I'll let you guys get checked in. Why don't we meet back here in an hour and we can have lunch?"

"Sounds good," Sam said.

"And remember, everything is already paid for," LaTonya said.

"It is?" Sam said, his eyes widened with surprise.

"Yes, we wanted it that way."

"Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome."

They said good-bye and LaTonya went to finish her meeting and to go back to her room to relax before lunch.

OOO

"That LaTonya is such a nice girl," Mrs. Anderson said, "I'm so happy that you're finally settling down." She was a petite woman with raven black hair and violet eyes; people often said she resembled Elizabeth Taylor; she wore a purple linen suit with a matching pillbox hat, and smelled like Shalimar perfume.

"Thank you, Mother," Cooper said, squeezing her tiny hand.

They were at a soul food café in downtown Nashville; the small restaurant had red checkered table cloths covering the round tables and black and white photos of blues singers like Muddy Waters and Big Mama Thornton covering the bright red walls. LaTonya chose not to come because she was having lunch with Sam and Mercedes, and he missed her terribly. Mr. Anderson had wanted to try it out because he loved soul food.

"She's pretty as a picture too," Mr. Anderson said, looking at the menu, "Sweet girl. Shame about her leg." He was tall with broad shoulders, white haired and mustached and had the same crazy blue eyes as his son.

Cooper let the comment slide; he knew his father meant no harm, though it irked him.

"So Father, what are you getting?"

"Fried okra, catfish and collard greens."

"Nice choice."

"Dear me, I'm not sure if I…" Mrs. Anderson frowned at menu, "I guess I'll get the broiled pork chops. I hope they're good."

"I'm sure they will be," Cooper said, reassuring her.

Mrs. Anderson patted his hand.

"Cooper Mycroft Anderson, we have something serious to discuss with you."

"And what would that be?"

"Why did you keep LaTonya a secret all this time?"

"Mother please, I never kept her a secret."

"I beg to differ. We just met her today and you're getting married tomorrow. Did you think we would have an issue with her?"

"No, not at all."

"Then why the secrecy?"

"I have a busy life. We couldn't find time to visit."

"Balderdash!" Mr. Anderson said, "Blaine found time for us to meet Kurt."

"I'm not Blaine."

Mrs. Anderson opened up her little white purse and took out a lace handkerchief, and dabbed her neck and forehead.

"I wish they would turn up the AC. I'm wilting."

"You'll survive, Mildred," Mr. Anderson said.

Mrs. Anderson ignored him.

"We never said you were Blaine. I guess it's all water under the bridge. I'm excited to have her as a daughter in law. She's so normal."

"What do you mean?"

"You know that you were always different and that concerned me a lot. I was afraid you might end up with - "

"With someone as abnormal as myself?" Cooper asked, his voice tinged with anger.

"Now, don't get upset, but yes, you never socialized much, always locked away in your room."

"If I recall correctly, neither you nor Father, did much in trying to connect with me. So I was left to my own devices, since Blaine was the 'easy' child, the 'normal' child you spent all your time with him, but of course, that's water under the bridge as you say."

Mrs. Anderson took a sip of her ice water.

"That's not true. We tried our best with you."

"By sending me away?"

"That institution was highly regarded. We didn't know that – "

"I was beaten and bullied. I was only 10 years old. It was shut down by the state for improper practices."

Mrs. Anderson's eyes welled up with tears.

"We've apologized and apologized for that. We thought we were doing what was best for you. You were so unhappy Cooper, sometimes you simply banged your head against the wall, and when we asked you why you said you wanted to feel something, as parents we didn't know what to do, a doctor friend suggested the institution."

"You thought I would hurt Blaine didn't you?"

"It crossed our minds."

"I never hurt Blaine."

"We know you didn't. We were just…"

"Being cautious?"

"Yes, you weren't particularly violent. Just sullen, angry and distant. You had to have everything a certain way, at certain times. You couldn't hold conversations. You never smiled. Everything agitated you. Sometimes you would wander around the house at night and yell at us for moving your toys, throwing tantrums. And you would stare at Blaine with such hatred, and nothing we were doing worked. It was a horrible decision to send you there, one that we regret everyday."

"I was the one who protected him when he came out, and we were getting death threats. I'm the one who taught him to box."

"We know and we were wrong. We're sorry," Mrs. Anderson said, crying into her handkerchief; "We should've believed you.

"Then why didn't you change when I got back? Why did you stay away from me?"

Mr. Anderson hung his head.

"You were so angry. Enraged. We wanted to give you space."

"You were afraid of me?"

"I don't know if it was fear, but when we hugged you, you would push us away. Touching seemed painful for you. Asking you questions, anything… we were at a loss."

"You wanna see my gun?" the boy said. His name was Drake and he was in the institution for violent behavior. He was three years older than Cooper and walked with a limp, the bright fluorescent lights reflected off his Coke bottle glasses. Cooper wondered how he could get a gun passed the guard inspection but didn't dwell on that technicality.

"No," Cooper said, crying. The older kids had pelted him with rocks and shoved his face in the dirt. One of them even kicked him in the stomach. He threw up blood. The headmaster wouldn't let him call his parents and told him to grow up and stop blubbering. The month before they had broken his arm.

"If you had a gun, people wouldn't bother you."

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"Do you know how to fight?"

"Sure. I can teach you. Show them my gun and kick their asses. They'll leave you alone."

Cooper thought about it for a moment. Blood trickled from his lips, his eye was swollen shut and his parents sent him away for being difficult. What did he have to lose?

"Ok," he said, lying back on his bed.

"We'll start tomorrow." Drake said.

"You gave up on me," Cooper said, "You apologized but you abandoned me. I know a little girl who was mute due to a tragic event, and her mother never once gave up on her; she fought through pure hell for her child; it was too much for you so I suppose you thought I would figure it out, is that it?"

"No, that's not it at all," Mrs. Anderson said.

"Do you really want to know why I didn't let you meet LaTonya until today?"

"Why?" Mr. Anderson asked, staring at him, his eyes tearing up again.

"Because she truly loves me. Just as I am. She knows all the good and the bad and every morning she kisses my cheek and tells me she loves me. She doesn't expect me to be normal. I didn't want you to ruin that for me; somehow, poison everything with your conventions and crazy logic, my God, why did I even ask you to come? This was a mistake. I lied and told her you were good, kind Protestant people, only because that's how you portray yourselves, but you're nothing but a couple of old cowards. I'm ashamed to call you my parents."

"Cooper please…" Mrs. Anderson, said, reaching across the table for his hand, but he pulled away from her.

"No. No more. When I got back the reason I hated you touching me was because I knew you had given up the moment I walked through the door. I saw it in your eyes, your body language, your silly conversations, everything, it was all there. You were waiting until I was 18, just waiting for me to leave your cozy suburban home, no longer spoiling your Norman Rockwell image. And I was ready to leave. So glad that I did," Cooper felt tears come to his eyes, his parents had not seen him cry since he was a little boy and they sat there flabbergasted, watching the single tear rolling down his cheek:

"I asked you to come today because I thought I could win your love. It seems I was wrong about that. I've been trying to fill that space for so many years; every time I think I have, I keep coming back to that 10 year old boy you left on the stone steps of that horrific place; you didn't even say good-bye. You just left. But I'm no longer a child. I'm a grown man. Tomorrow, I'm going to marry the most wonderful woman in the world and she's pregnant with our child and we'll be a happy family together. You don't deserve a place in that happiness. I suggest you leave tonight."

Drake and Cooper chased down the two boys that broke his arm. Cooper kicked the shorter boy in the shins, and he fell to the ground, he took the butcher knife that he swiped from the dining hall and held it to the kid's throat, drawing blood as it pierced his Adam's apple.

"Do you want to die?" He asked the boy, squirming beneath him, unable to breathe.

"No."

"Then stay away from me. Because if you don't, I'll kill you." He stabbed the boy in the arm as hard as he could and the kid screamed. Then he and Drake beat up the other kid and took turns holding the gun on him. It wasn't loaded, but the kid didn't know. He pissed himself, he was so scared. They punched him a few times and left him in a crumpled heap beneath the big oak trees. The bullies never revealed who harmed them out of fear for their lives. It was such a bright, sunny morning, and the first bell was ringing, and blood was on his hands.

He was 10 years old. He had five more years to go. He was only allowed home once a year and he would only be there a week; he tried to tell his parents, but they didn't believe him. Nobody ever bullied him again, but he endured isolation, humiliation and cruelty from the staff. They tried to physically punish him, but he was too skilled a fighter for that to work, so they put him in a locked room with no one to talk to and told him he was bad, and in that room, no matter how awful it got, Cooper vowed that he would save every person that ever suffered and didn't have a voice and he would play music in his head and write sonnets in his sleep.

Cooper got up from the table and left his parents sitting there. He didn't care if he never saw them again. Maybe he would feel differently once the baby was born but he doubted it. He could hear his mother crying and his father consoling her, whispering in her ear, and he saw the other customers glance over at the elderly couple in distress; and he opened he door and the bell above the door jingled and he kept walking, not once looking back.

OOO

When Cooper told LaTonya that his parents wouldn't be attending the wedding. She merely opened her arms and they lay together on their hotel bed; he cried as she held him. And when all his tears were shed, LaTonya said:

"We're ok. Tomorrow, I will become your wife. I love you."

Cooper kissed her, wondering how he got so lucky, maybe it wasn't luck, maybe it was… he couldn't name it, so he felt it instead and they made love until the sunrise filled their room, casting a soft pink light on their nude bodies. Safe, warm, loved, intertwined with one another; that was all he ever needed.

OOO

"Do I look alright?" LaTonya asked Mercedes, standing before her in a white strapless silk wedding gown that accentuated her perfect, hourglass shape; lace appliques were on the bodice and the hem of the train, she wore diamond stud earrings and a beautiful heart shaped diamond pendant necklace. Cooper asked that she wear her hair in an Afro, which she did, and she wore a jeweled headband. They were in the bridal suite getting ready; the room was gold and white with plush cream colored carpet, and gold tapestry curtains hung from the windows.

"You're gorgeous, LaTonya, do you even have to ask?"

LaTonya turned around and looked in the full-length mirror. The glamorous woman staring back at her took her by surprise, and she smiled.

"Well, I cleaned up rather nice."

"That's an understatement," Mercedes said handing her the bouquet of white roses, "Come on, they're expecting us."

LaTonya hugged Mercedes.

"Thank you so much for being here. I've never had many friends and this means a lot to me. And you look beautiful too."

"You're welcome and I'm happy to be here."

Mercedes wore a soft peach silk dress with a full A-line skirt, and Abby had a dress that was similar, but it wasn't as long. All three of them wore jeweled headbands in their hair. They were able to get all of their dresses and accessories at the last minute because Cooper knew a lot of people who owed him favors. LaTonya didn't ask any questions; she was just grateful that it all worked out. He also knew the owner of the hotel and that made everything easier.

Just as they were about to leave to go to join the others in the hotel courtyard, her phone rang. She saw that it was the hospital and her heart dropped. She quickly answered it.

"Hello."

"Yes, am I speaking with LaTonya Randall?" the woman said.

"Speaking."

"This is Dr. Smith, I'm calling about your father."

"How is he?"

"He's doing much better. In fact, he wants to speak with you."

"He does?"

"Yes, hold on."

"Hi there Princess. I woke up and remembered what you told me about today. You're getting married, is that right?"

LaTonya was shocked that he even remembered.

"Yes, Daddy, that's right."

"To that man with the funny blue eyes."

"Yes, his name is Cooper."

"Oh, ok. I just wanted to say that I love you and I know you will be happy. You deserve every bit of happiness that God gives you, do you understand? Every single bit. If I was better, I would've walked you down the aisle. I'm so proud of you LaTonya."

LaTonya let the tears roll down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Daddy, I love you too. Now you do everything the doctor and nurse say, ok? I want you to get better."

"I'm feeling right good today, Princess, right good. I'll be seeing you soon."

"Good bye Daddy."

After she ended the call, she felt Mercedes touch her shoulder.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm better than I've been in a long time. I just had the first normal conversation with my father in years. He understood I was getting married."

Mercedes hugged her.

"That's wonderful, LaTonya."

"Yes it is, isn't it?" She said wiping her eyes, "I'm ready."

OOO

Abby walked down the gray stone walkway in the courtyard first, with Mercedes and Sam behind her, followed by Blaine, and finally Paul Dill, who was last in line, was behind him, and when they all reached the round white trellis decorated with garlands of purple and pink violets and bunches of lavender, and where the gray-haired chaplain stood waiting, they formed a circle. A pianist played Chopin's Nocturne Opus No. 9, as the procession took place. Kurt was the only one seated in the audience along with Carrie, Rosy and Jake. All of the men were dressed in tuxedoes.

The courtyard had a round stone pond in the center of it and was surrounded by wildflowers, in varying shades of pink, purple and blue. Then Cooper and LaTonya walked down the stone path together, their shoes clicking against the hard surface, their arms linked, and both of them were crying. When they reached the circle, their wedding party stepped aside and let them into the center and then they formed the circle again, this time holding hands, enclosing the bride and groom. The music stopped. Abby handed them a long garland made of wild violets and ivy.

Handing her bouquet to Mercedes, LaTonya held the garland with Cooper and together they recited a Celtic Caim prayer as they made a circle around themselves using the garland, briefly stopping at certain points as they lay down the garland:

"Circle us Lord, Keep protection near, And danger afar."

"Circle us Lord, Keep light near, And darkness afar."

"Circle us Lord, Keep peace within, Keep evil out."

"Circle us Lord, Keep hope within, Keep doubt without."

May you be a bright flame before us

May you be a guiding star above us,

May you be a smooth path below us,

And a loving Guide behind us.

Today, tonight, and forever."

When they finished laying down the garland, they held hands and faced each other. Then the chaplain spoke, but Cooper wasn't really listening. He was too busy staring into LaTonya's beautiful brown eyes. She was exquisite, and no woman could hold a candle to her; her smooth skin glowed like onyx in the sun, her hair was shiny, fluffy and full, and her body was the epitome of feminine warmth and beauty: soft, sweet curves, broad hips, and a lovely round back side. And now she had their child growing inside her. He didn't care about how much he was crying; it didn't matter. He and LaTonya were surrounded by love, friends, family and God, and he felt safe to let down his guard and show his joy.

"Cooper, you may recite your vows," the chaplain said, breaking into Cooper's thoughts.

"LaTonya, I stand before you today, in the center of our sanctuary, to vow to you that I will always keep you safe, and I will form a circle of love around you whenever life brings you harm. I never thought I could ever fall in love or get married or even have a family, because, for a very long time, I thought I was unlovable – "

LaTonya began to cry, shaking her head.

"No, you're the most loveable person I know. Please don't say that. I love you."

Cooper smiled.

"Sweetheart, let me finish. There's more."

LaTonya wiped her eyes.

"Sorry, I got carried away."

"I understand. As I was saying, I thought I was unlovable and too different to ever have a family so I decided to live my life alone. That is until I met you. You listened to me, cared for me, and challenged me. When the pain cut too deep and the nightmares too terrifying; you stood by me. I've never met a more caring human being than you. You faced a lot of obstacles in your life but you always saw the good in people and you saw the good in me, and that opened my heart to this, what we have is so wonderful, it's beyond words, music, everything, I feel it at the very core of my being. You are in my circle, dear LaTonya, and I love you so much. I promise to honor our marriage and family; to be there for you during your triumphs and failures, to laugh and cry with you and grow old with you. Everything I have in my soul, belongs to you. I vow to be the absolute best husband to you and best father to our child. I love you LaTonya and I'm honored and blessed that you will be my wife and mother to our child."

He hugged her tight and kissed her lips, and then he got on his knees and kissed her belly while hugging her waist, much to her amusement, and she laughed as he stood up again, and they whispered I love you to each other before he stepped back, and it was her turn.

"Cooper, I love you, and I am so happy to begin this chapter of my life with you. Just so you know, I never want to hear you say you are unlovable again, because you're not; your heart is bigger than most peoples' it just beats differently, and that's ok. I allowed you to see parts of me, physically and emotionally, that I rarely share, but with you it was safe, and you made me feel so loved and cherished. I love the unique song you hear. I love your passion and intelligence, but most of all I love how you are so fierce and committed to us and I vow to put in the same effort to our marriage. Whatever comes at us, I want to be by your side just as you'll be by mine. I'm staying right in this circle with you. I promise to give all that I am to being a good wife and mother. I want us to grow together as one. I love you, Cooper and I am blessed to become your wife and mother to our child."

They exchanged rings and the chaplain said:

"With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride."

Cooper hugged and kissed her, their tears mixing together. He heard their friends and family clapping and cheering for them, heard the pianist begin playing Chopin again, and it was all so far away, and the sound that drowned everything out, was LaTonya's voice in his hear, telling him how much she loved him, her heart beating against his, he felt the vibration, and pulled her closer, loving their shared rhythm, becoming one soul.

OOO

They had dinner in a private dining room at the hotel. It had a long, dark mahogany table, covered with a gold Laylani lace tablecloth with a floral design, and gold tapestry dining room chairs surrounded the table. A crystal vase filled with white roses was the table's centerpiece with two white pillar candles encased in gold lanterns burning on either side of it, giving off the subtle scent of vanilla.

Each place setting had fine white china edged in gold and shiny silverware with decorative scroll handles. As they were about to be served the first course of a green salad and crab bisque, Blaine asked Cooper if he could speak to him privately. Cooper sighed and agreed to talk to him, but not before he shared another kiss with LaTonya and excused himself, saying he would be back in a few minutes.

Blaine led him outside of the hotel and they began walking down the street. The air was heavy and muggy; and an old saxophone player wearing a red beret and red suspenders was the on corner, leaning against the streetlight and playing Careless Whisper, dragging out each note.

"Where exactly are we going?"

"I just wanted some air and some privacy to talk to you," Blaine said, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring down at the sidewalk.

"About what?"

"Mother and Father."

"I'm too happy right now to discuss them. I'm going back to my wife," Cooper said, turning around, but Blaine grabbed his arm.

"No, please hear me out."

"Make it quick."

"I never understood everything that happened. They said you were in boarding school. I had no idea how bad it was."

Cooper sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"Blaine, I know. I never blamed you. I resented you. But I never blamed you."

"I get that, but I want you to know that I'm sorry if I ever made you think you were unlovable or said anything to – "

Cooper shook his head.

"That wasn't about you specifically. It was about a lot of things."

"I see. Is there anything you need me to do?"

Cooper reached for Blaine's hand and squeezed it.

"Be my brother. I know we aren't close but I wanted you in my wedding anyway."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

Blaine stared at him, his dark eyes shined beneath the red neon lights of the jazz club sign that blinked above them.

"I love you too."

"Now that's it's established that we are indeed siblings who love each other; I want to go back and have dinner with my wife."

Blaine put his arm around him.

"You like saying my wife, don't you?"

"Very much."

"LaTonya is a wonderful woman."

"I know," Cooper said, "For the first time in my life I'm really happy."

The two walked back to the hotel, a new bond forming between them.

END NOTES: Thank you for reading and reviewing my story! Sam's prayer is from the website Daily Prayer. The Celtic Caim prayer is slightly changed and it's found on the blog jtalexanderiv.