#Mikes just get mommy issues it comes with the title

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton let his FNAF trauma slip again…

[devondespresso]

WIP WhhhMonday Nightish

Once upon a time Devon was tagged in a wip wednesday by @eriquin and meant to do it but missed both wednesday and the weekend before remembering again. totally unrelated, Devon is working on getting their official adhd diagnosis.

i also noticed that the past snippets shared in wip-whatever posts have been purposefully the least interesting parts because i was worried about spoilers, which is dumb because that's created the unintended consequence of my tag is full of everything i don't like as much and a very different impression of what my fic is (as seen by most of these snippets being my rewritten scenes despite the actual fic being mostly new in-between scenes)

TLDR: WIP Whatever-day-it-is: But Actually For Fun This Time

The Rules

Post the file names of up to 5 of your WIPs for people to send you asks

Post a snippet of one of those WIPs

When people send you an ask with the name of one of your WIPs, write 3 lines of that WIP.

(Optional) Post the lines you wrote.

You can send multiple requests especially since this is going on through the weekend!

The WIPs

we're doing bulleted chapter titles to share from since that was my favorite and genuinely most productive format I've used. Feel free to ask for as many as you want, I plan on working on this basically all week

Karen Wheeler POV Bonus Chapter (Prologue kinda? side story in the same universe?? Bonus chapter set after season 1 and way before ch 1)

Steve, are you okay? Are you okay, Steve? (ch 9)

What's this? The consequences of my actions? (Is that a motherfucking Lovejoy reference?) (ch 10)

Kidnapping? no. surprise adoption. (lol get taken care of BITCH) (ch 11)

NEXT CHAPTER BC IDK HOW TO TRANSITION (ch 12) (a very tentative title for the next chapter to be written)

The Snippet

here is my favorite and most recent scene I've written, which takes place before they junkyard where Steve and Dustin are at the grocery store to get that ungodly amount of raw meat they have to toss around (also i've split chapters up a bit in the name of structure so the third chapter is now called "Mommy Issues Central". Lemme know any goofy vine reference ideas you guys have or if it should stay like that) (fear not, Get Yo Fucking Dog Bitch lives on still as chapter 4)

___

They turned down the next aisle, lining the edges of the cart with some other pasta-related shit that he could still probably use. They heard someone coming over from the next aisle and before he could turn the cart around Mrs Wheeler pulled up.

"Oh, Steve ...and Dustin. What're you boys up to?"

He took a short breath to work their story into something without Mike, but Dustin beat him to it.

"He's teaching me stuff." 

He was imitating the tone Steve used but still way too vague. Mrs Wheeler held up a smile, her brows slightly lifted.

"Y'know, like cooking-" Steve said, throwing in a little gesture to the cart.

"And cars, changing oil and things. Y'know just.. dad stuff."

Dustin's part convinced her, Mrs Wheeler's expression softening into a real smile.

"Well I won't keep you long," 

She nodded off to the side to talk to Steve one-on-one.

Great.

“Are you and Nancy okay?”

“Wh- we’re- Why? Did she say something?”

“No, no, she’s just been… closed off, lately. And I drove her to school the other day, she didn’t say why.”

“Sh- yeah, that- that’s on me. Sorry.”

“Did you break up?”

“No no, definitely not. We’re kinda… we’re working on it. I’m going to try and make it better, after y’know..” he gestured to Dustin behind him.

“Right.” she smiled again, “Let Nancy know she can talk to me about any of this? Please? I tell her but- I don't know, maybe it’d be different coming from you.”

He held up a smile for her.

“Yeah, sure. Mind if we..” he jutted a thumb towards the end of the aisle.

“Yes, go ahead.”

He gave her a short wave and turned back to Dustin, who studied random shit in the aisle like Steve would believe his sudden fascination with olive oil outweighed childish curiosity.

“Steve-”

He turned back around, seeing Mrs Wheeler coming back up to him and whispering again.

“I know I’m not your mother, but you can talk to me, too. Both of you, okay?”

He kept the smile in place and nodded again, and she finally went back to her cart.

Dustin “Definitely-Not-Eavesdropping” Henderson followed him out of the aisle, thankfully waiting until they were out of earshot to ask.

“What's going on with you and Nancy?”

“Thought we had ‘much bigger problems than my love life’?”

He pulled up to the deli, stopping to pretend to look at the options.

“We’re not dropping everything for it but we can still talk.” he groaned.

“I’ll tell you later, kay? Not exactly the best place to talk.''

___

Tags

@stobinesque @spoookysix @marvel-ous-m @alexcharmsyou @museumgiftshoperaser @blushweddinggowns @sharpbutsoft @fag4dykestobin @findafight (no pressure ofc and feel free to switch it to actually wednesday fhuhjdklashj) (also just let me know if you don't wanna be tagged in these)

[irandomblogfulb]

FATE: What happens when you get a bunch of middle aged white guys to adapt a cartoon for girls

Well, I just went through 6 hours of fate and I have a lot of opinions on it. Yeah, this is going to be long (slightly under 3k words) so putting it under read more and obvious spoilers.

PSA before delving right in:

1) Yes, I will be comparing to the original. Any comparisons are not through rose-tinted nostalgia glasses. There are parts here and there that I genuinely think were done better in the cartoon on a writing standpoint.

2) This is purely my opinion and overall negative. Don't like it? Don't read. I'm all up for discussion but I don't want another person crying to me about how I “ruined” their experience of the show.

3) If you like Fate then good for you. This isn’t me bashing people who like it. 

I've spit it up into sub sections just for my own convince.

1. The problem with the 'I'm not like other girls' trope

This pertains to the entire Bloom-Sky-Stella love triangle. I wasn't as pressed about it compared to other winxers (and I loved Stella's and Brandon's relationship on my rewatch). In fact, I was okay with it. But then I sat down and watched the show and there's a lot of underlying problems with the love triangle. Particularly pitting Bloom and Stella against each other for Sky's affection.

Now this part of the love triangle I already didn't like. Correct me if I'm wrong, since I dropped the OG Winx after season 5 but the Winx while they did have their conflicts and arguments, never fought over a boy. I really appreciated that from the cartoon so seeing that live action would fall into that trap – I was mildly annoyed at that. Then it hit me. It's Bloom and Stella.

The seemingly ordinary girl vs the pristine princess of Solaria. If the title didn't give it away, you should get the point by now. Others have already called it by now but the "I'm not like other girl's" trope in itself, while seemingly feminist is actually misogynist. Saying the more masculine type of girl is better than the feminine is inherently misogynist. Stella, the prime princess, girly and feminine, is villainized by the love triangle. Sky's and Stella's relationship is toxic and Stella's overt co-dependence and jealousy are already big fat red signs - but Sky's and Bloom's relationship is built on how she's "different". Bloom isn't like Stella, she's "real".

2. Am I supposed to like Riven?

As the title puts it, wtf am I supposed to feel about Riven. Is he supposed to be a good guy? Do I root for him? Is he morally ambiguous? Because holy shit compared to OG!Riven, this guy is diabolical and much much worse! OG!Riven is an asshole and he teams up with the trix but his arc was very simple and easy to understand. He joins the bad guys, distances himself from the good guys, the trix betray his ass, he self-reflects in the dungeon - escapes and redeems himself. Net!Riven is so bad to the point where you can't redeem him and the writers don't even try. Freddie Thorp is good in his role. (however, he definitely doesn't pass for a 17-year-old. He's 26 and it shows) and he actually makes the cringe dialogue work. But he's way too diabolical and downright predatory. The scene where he forces Dane to gulp down his spiked drink - it’s worse seeing it than reading it. That grossed me out more than the gore.

What makes it worse, nobody properly calls him out. Beatrix kinda does on his homophobia – “Homophobic bashing by GIF” - and Sky does chastise him, but they still tolerate him. It is kinda funny in a way Sky has a whole ass arc about how he's enabling Stella's problematic behaviour by still dating her after she blinded her friend but doesn't realize he's doing the same for Riven.

The only person that really puts her foot down with Riven is Terra and nobody takes her seriously about anything she says.

Everyone is very laissez-faire around him and that's not how you respond to your friend being problematic. (Hey, kinda like the other girls sans Aisha are with Bloom!) Everyone surrounding Riven is so disgusting and the notion of him supposedly being a good guy is very hard to buy into. His whole relationship with Dane has a section of it’s own because there’s just a lot to unpack.

3. Stella I am so sorry

I'm also in the majority hating how they've tarnished Stella. Basically, they turned her into the stereotypical rich bully with mommy issues.

I get that Stella has an abusive mom but that’s no excuse to be a total bitch to her roommates. And no, her roommates shouldn't accept her back with open arms. And she doesn't even redeem herself - the girls just accept her back after her mom pulls her from Alfea.

And this is also another issue with the writing were the characters suddenly just change their opinions on a whim. Suddenly Stella likes the winx, suddenly Terra misses Stella even though having that girl literally gives her anxiety. Suddenly Aisha's on Bloom's side in the end.

This isn't me simping for the cartoon out of nostalgia. I was mostly okay with the idea of Stella and Sky hooking up. But Looking at it from a creative standpoint - looking at the source material, and the many paths you can take this character, the best thing Brian Young and co. can think of for her was turning her into the stereotypical rich bully that we've seen time and time again? No deconstruction no meta take, it's played out exactly how you’d expect it.

Again, this isn't me simping for the show. Purely from a creative standpoint Stella was such a major let down. There's so much to the character and Brian Young took the easiest, saturated path.

4. That one scene with Bloom's parents

You know the one. Mike unhinges Bloom's bedroom doors and Vanessa cusses out and insults her child like a petty teen bully. Forgetting how utterly cringey that scene was, you can't have her mom go batshit insane on her child, then act like she's this loving parent that cares so deeply about her daughter. Screw that! Vanessa deserved those 3rd degree burns! She invaded her daughter's privacy. Bloom didn't even do anything wrong!

I can't buy into this narrative of Vanessa and Mike being loving parents when they do something like that. Seriously who thought that was okay?

5. Pity Parties for everyone.

I already discussed this in Stella’s section but I don’t like the “it’s okay for me be a shitty person because my life sucks :)” narrative Fate tries to pull. They did it with Stella, Bloom, Riven.

What I liked about the first season of Winx Club is Bloom’s arc and her character as a whole. Because while she went through shit, from the Trix, to finding out she was adopted, her existential crisis, not feeling like she belonged, losing the dragon flame, she went through a lot. She didn’t throw a pity party. She didn’t whine, bitch and complain. She allowed herself to feel upset, took it as it is and tried to make lemonade out of lemons. And I respect that.

Net!Bloom is agrevating. She does some dumb, reckless stuff but it’s excused because she’s the protagonist? She let the war criminal out, the school gets taken over by the bad guys because of Bloom. Faragonda fucking dies because she let the war criminal out! The burned ones attacked the school because she let the war criminal out!!! But no, Aisha’s villainized for calling Bloom out because Bloom’s existential crisis is more important then anything else.

Getting to Sky, he isn’t as bad as the others. He doesn’t become a shitty person because of his problems. (Though lowkey flirting with Bloom while he hooks up with Stella is uh not good.) But he does come across incredibly whiny. Because of the cringey dialogue and the unnecessary swearing  I can’t take his speech on opening up to Bloom seriously. I laughed throughout the whole thing and Bloom leaving his unconscious body there was the icing on the cake.

One of the few characters that deserved a pity party is Terra. She’s very much like OG!Bloom in a way. She is bullied by Dane and Riven, has body insecurities, anxiety, nobody listens to her and at most only tolerates her. Despite all the crap that is thrown her way she still reminds humble, kind, and respectful. And she is one of the few characters that deserves more support than what she got out of the season.

5. Bloom, Aisha, Tokenism and their awful relationship

I’m going to be upfront, their relationship sucks. The core of their dynamic is what Aisha can do for Bloom. It’s very one-sided. Bloom only goes to Aisha to help solve her problems, which Aisha gladly does – but when Aisha disagrees with Bloom or says something Bloom doesn’t like, Bloom suddenly goes off and Aisha’s made to be the bad guy. Even though she’s right? And Aisha has her own problems as well, shown to also struggle with her powers. But nope, that’s pushed to the back burner because Bloom needs help.

I am all for creative freedom. I can stomach Stella x actual Sky. I can stomach turning Stella into a rich mean girl. I can stomach the dark academia aesthetic but what Brian Young and co. did to Aisha is just plain racist. Screw the “it’s an adaptation” excuse. Turning this character who had a rich storyline and was a princess into a white girl’s magical negro who fixes all her problems is racist and by definition tokenism. And by whitewashing the other two characters of color, making Aisha the only poc in the group – that’s the worst thing you can do to her.

And frankly we need more black princesses on screen.

6. Dane and the homophobia of the show

Towards the show’s climax it’s revealed Dane is helping Beatrix because she accepts he’s “different”. Not only does this go back to my pity party rant but like bruh,

1)      Beatrix never really did anything for Dane? She hung out and smoked with him a bit, but that’s all. You’re telling me Terra wouldn’t accept Dane? Beatrix never helped him and he never really opened up to her about his struggles.

2)      Nobody else, not even background characters bully or harass Dane for being “different”. It’s only Riven, the guy he’s crushing on. The whole falling in love with the bad boy/abuser trope is bad in a hetero relationship and that still stands for a gay one. And I know damn well if Dane was a woman half of the shit Riven did to Dane wouldn’t slide.

It makes no sense for Dane to side with the bad guys when Riven’s the one bullying him and Beatrix is complacent in the bullying. Oh, and having your second black* character who’s also lgbt+/potentially questioning be a villain? Not good.

I’m all for gay and poly rep, but not like this. If Stella and Sky’s toxic relationship is going to be called out for what it is, why not Dane’s?

*Idk if Theo Graham is light-skinned black or biracial so I’ll just refer to him as black.

7. The plot

It’s very predictable. Personally, wasn’t fond of the ‘twist of a twist of a twist’ style of writing. The story tries to be nuanced and deep but it’s not. Common sense is treated like a big revelation. Not trusting the war criminal you barely know isn’t as big of a take that the writers try to make it out to be.

8.  Everything else

·       Beatrix is fine. No Icy but did like the gothic bookworm aesthetic.

·       Sam is just there to be Musa’s love interest and provide some dumb drama between Musa and Terra. I thought they’d go the Edward/Bella root – Musa’s drawn to Sam because she can’t sense his emotions for some reason. Nope, they just get together for the obligatory make out sessions. Don’t care much for the relationship or the character.

·       Since the powers are all elemental shouldn’t there be classes purely for an elemental? Classes purely for fire fairies, etc?

·       Musa’s powers are confusing. If she has no control over them and they are “always on”, shouldn’t her eyes constantly be glowing purple?  Very wishy washy. Sometimes they overwhelm her and other times she has complete control. Her character is just there for plot stuff.

·       Terra is one of the better characters but can’t enjoy her knowing about the whitewashing. Why can’t we have a plus sized character just exist and not have body issues?

·       Sky doesn’t feel like a prince. Characters treat him like his dad is a war hero and not the King of Eraklyon. There was a point where I thought I misheard and thought his dad was just a war hero and not a king.

·       Why try to justify Rosalind’s war crime if she’s going to be the big bad anyways?

·       The way the characters treat death/act around death is very weird. Musa and Terra see a pile of dead bodies and they’re unreasonable calm. Especially Bloom an “ordinary teenage girl from earth”, reacts very nonchalant when death and war crimes are brought up. Doesn’t help the show tries to push this “they’re kids fighting a war” narrative.

·       Can’t buy into the girls’ friendship. The Aisha/Bloom dynamic is centred on what Aisha can do for Bloom. Bloom only cares about herself and only goes to her friends to help with her problems. Most of Musa’s and Terra’s interaction centre around Sam. Stella didn’t care for the girls until her mom showed up and pulled a 180. The girls were quick to turn on Aisha when she sided with the adults.

·       I have no problem with technology existing but why do they have Instagram, Tiktok and Tumblr? The otherworld is a completely separated from Earth, why do they have the same technology?  

9. Brian Young, what do you mean by mature?

I grew up on the 4kids dub before transitioning to the Nick dub for season 4 and 5 then dropping the cartoon for good. So naturally on my rewatch of the cartoon I decided to go watch the RAI dub since I heard it’s more accurate and 4Kids are infamous for their horrid localisations straying too much to the source material. Upon finishing season 1 and currently watching season 2, a few things took me by surprise. For one, the cartoon is surprisingly dark. The schools are at war with the Trix and their army of Darkness, Sky almost dies in Season 2, Riven almost dies and the Trix thinks he suicided, it’s heavily implied in Season 2 Darkar murdered some of the pixies, the paedophilic undertones of Bloom and Avalon’s relationship, the list goes on.

When the interview with Brian Young came out, he said Fate would be a mature take on the cartoon. And I wondered, what did he meant by mature? Was he going to delve deeper into the darker aspects of the show, or did he mean he was going to have the girls swear and have sex? Watching Fate, I found my answer.

If you take out the gore, swearing, drug and alcohol usage from the live action, the maturity is on par with the RAI dub. The difference is in the presentation. This is what sucks about the mentality surrounding live action remakes. Because the OG!Winx was colourful with glittery transformations , was super girly and overall had a positive upbeat tone (not forgetting 2D animated) - it can’t be taken seriously. You have to strip all that, the colour, the kindness, the femininity in order to be deemed mature.

10. Wrapping up

I went into Fate expecting the worst and honestly, it wasn’t that bad. There were things I liked about it. The show looks pretty, and I did like what they were trying to do with Sky’s arc. The actors did what they could with the material. Freddie Thorp made the cringe dialogue work and Abigail Cowen proves she can carry a show as the lead.

Fate is your generic, YA, dark academia show. It follows all the tropes of the YA genre to a T. If that’s your niche, then you’ll love Fate and I’m not bashing anyone who liked it.

For me, as a creative, it doesn’t capitalise on the strengths of the source material. I’m not asking for Winx Club again, as I’ve reiterated, I’m all for creative freedom. But Brian Young, Iginio Straffi, whoever worked on this – they could’ve created something new, innovative, something that stood out from the hordes of other YA shows. They had good material in their hands! But what I got -  I’ve seen before, and I’ve seen it done better. That’s a major disappointment.

As a winx club fan, don’t bother watching this. It’s a very diluted version of the Winx. In trying to capture the interest of the adult fans who grew up with the franchise – Iginio showed how out of touch he is if he thinks this is what they wanted.

[tozierpunks]

I’m always here for Reddie and stanpat. So. reddie & stanpat Conception AU

ashbot you’re the only one who truly loves me sometimes ❤️just a heads up, it’s a lil nsfw, so dig on this:

the story starts with mike teaching a classroom of 5 year olds, and he wraps up the lesson with, “any questions?” and little 5 year old Elton raises his hand and goes, “where do babies come from?” Mike’s face proceeds to drop to the floor

another little kid, Emmy, goes, “I’ll draw it for you Elton, it’s real weird.” AND NOW MIKE PANICS AND TAKES THE PAPER AND TRIES HIS BEST TO EXPLAIN, “it’s not weird! it’s... normal.” and a third kid (Cher) chimes in: “my daddy said the mommy poops out a baby” and Mike resists the urge to roll his eyes

cue title card and now we cut to our first couple of the story: stan and patty. now they’ve been trying forever to have a baby, but they’re struggling. patty is a doctor and stan is an environmental science teacher, they’re doing well, and now they’re on a special plan to get pregnant bc they’re ready, it’s time

so he comes in with the fertility shot, patty’s leaning against the bed, and he’s clearly nervous but this is his wife, he loves her, he wants this baby too, so he’s gonna help and he says, “i’m really afraid i’m not gonna be good at this.” “i’m afraid of that too babe.”

she instructs him tho, “hold it like a pencil, stick the needle in really quickly- like a dart, check for blood, and if there’s no blood then push the medicine in.”

“... okay but... if there’s blood... i might pass out. Maybe I should put some pillows down like a stuntman-”

“am I just gonna have to do this?” “No!” and she held her hand out to take the needle back but he just high fives her and counts down, “Three, two, two and a half-” “Stan.” AND HE STICKS HER AND SHE STARTS SHOUTING AT HIM

“OW, FUCKER!” “YOU SAID LIKE A DART!” “WELL NOT LIKE A FUCKING JAVELIN!”

stan, perplexed, stands there and patty shouts, “WELL PUSH THE MEDICINE IN.”

stan, still shaken: “OKAY, OKA- CAN YOU BE NICE TO ME?!”

“I HAVE GOT A NEEDLE IN MY ASS RIGHT NOW.”

“Oh babe there’s blood, I’m gonna be sick.”

And Patty is rolling her eyes while Stan needs to take a breather bc he really can’t handle the blood

NOW SCENE CUT TO REDDIE where it’s a little less romantic, a little more Fight Club

richie planned a whole day bc at the end, their surrogate was supposed to call to let them know which designer baby was chosen - so, richie’s spermies for a boy or girl, or eddie’s spermies for a boy or girl

but eddie comes storming into the house to see his boyfriend - not husband, but boyfriend - on the couch, and he marches straight to the bedroom to grab richie’s bat, comes back out, and smashes the tv

“WHOA, EDS, WHAT THE FUCK-” “GET YOUR SHIT OUT!” “YOU JUST SMASHED A THOUSAND DOLLAR TV-” “GET IT OUT, I’M CALLING OUR SURROGATE BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE, JUST GET OUT! IT’S OVER!” he slams the door to his room, leaving richie dumbfounded, but ofc he comes right back out

“you didn’t even ask why i smashed the tv, you just said ‘that was a thousand dollar tv’!” ofc richie’s gonna bite back tho, “okay, fine, let’s ignore the property damage. eddie. what’s wrong?”

“YOU! You took my money-” “our moneY? in OUR bank account?” “and who put that money there? what’d you spend it on, richie? baseball? football? fucking ice skating-” “I’ll get it back-”

“great! mail it to me!” and again, he storms off. so obviously they’re in a pickle but more on that later.

BACK TO STANPAT BEING GREAT, Stan flops on the bed and groans, “this baby making stuff is really hard.”

“yeah but now comes the fun part.” “you’re gonna watch me play video games?” “no, we’re gonna have sex!”

stan doesn’t look as excited as patty hoped and she’s confused as he covers his face and goes, “babe... i kinda did it, with myself, in the bathroom-” “YOU MASTURBATED? WE’RE TRYING TO HAVE A BABY, YOU CAN’T-” “YOU LEFT SOME KIND OF WOMEN’S CATALOG-”

“No, take your clothes off-” “Pat, respectfully, I have to take a raincheck-” “No! Take your frickin clothes off, you’re fucking me!” and ofc stan is pretty turned on by his wife being bossy, he can work up another small soldier in his pants maybe... probably... hopefully

so while they’re waiting for him, patty explains all the stuff he can and can’t do

“you’re gonna need to drink plenty of fluids, cut back on things like flaxseed-” “aw babe, I love flaxseed.” bc stan got jokes and patty just stares at him before adding, “and you gotta switch to boxers, the testicles need less restraint-”

“babe, i know you’re a doctor and you have to say that at the hospital, but when you’re at home, could you call them balls? like, stan your hot sweaty balls aren’t good for making babies-” “babe, i have to fuck you right now, stop.”

their banter is everything, and as they climb into bed, patty stresses that missionary position is more likely to get her pregnant, and stan is skeptical, “that just sounds lazy on your part.” but alright! and they do the do, and eventually patty tells him she orgasmed and stan is AGAIN SKEPTICAL

“what? no! You scream a lot when you orgasm-” “oh that’s just for show”

stan found dead in his bedroom

“this baby making stuff just keeps getting better and better.”

and as patty is lying there, hips elevated to help the spermies flow their little way up the pipes, she looks at stan and smiles, “i know this is a lot babe, i’m sorry. I just really want a baby.” and stan smiles back and kisses her hand, “i know pat. me too.” “will you stay with me?” “of course.” and they get to lie there together and be cute

NOW BACK TO REDDIE WHO ARE CLEARLY HAVING ISSUES BUT, EDDIE COMES OUT AND THREATENS TO CALL THE COPS, BUT RICHIE TAKES HIS PHONE AND ASKS, “WILL YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT STARTED ALL THIS, EDDIE? PLEASE?”

and eddie slumps against the wall and explains, “I thought having a baby would fix things. I thought I could get over your aversion to getting married, but I’m sitting at the stoplight, and I realize... everyone’s going somewhere. Everyone’s moving, but me.”

“Well that’s what you do at a stoplight-”

“Shut up Richie.” and Richie tries to reach out to touch Eddie but Eddie kicks him away and scoots to the other side of the wall, leaving Richie to sit in his spot

now they’ve been together since high school, they’re thirty now, and richie still hasn’t hinted at marriage. Eddie’s been ready since 24, and six years is a long time to wait for someone to mature. He really wants this baby, and he really wants a life with Richie, but he doesn’t know how to stop wanting to get married. If Richie doesn’t want that, where does that leave him? he doesn’t know if he can wait much longer for this man to be ready to grow up and start a life

so Richie sighs and goes, “I didn’t spend the money on sports stuff or gambling.” and he pulls a little velvet box from his pocket and slides it over and Eddie’s eyes widen and all Richie can hear from him is, “ohhh”

“I hate you, Richie.” and Richie snorts bc he loves Eddie so much, he knows that EDDIE KNOWS, he’s in the wrong. not richie. “I’m sorry-” “I love you, Eddie.” “I snapped-” “Clearly.” “That was really extreme-” “You’ve always been extreme. You threw the first rock at Stonewall- I mean, Henry.” “Shut up.”

and they start smooching on this apartment floor, but it quickly turns into a frantic fuck bc MAKE UP SEX!!!! WOO WOO!!!

when richie’s in the tub and eddie’s washing his hair, they get the call and the surrogate tells them she chose one of each bc the doctor said it was a maximum of two, they’ll find out in two weeks if it worked and then later, what they’re having!

cut to a couple months later, patty comes home and slams a sonogram on the table for stan to see, and he’s fighting the biggest goofy grin, “what’s that?” “a tumor.” and ofc he’s :/ “no it’s not.” “no it’s not!”

meanwhile, eddie is pacing in his apartment while richie lies on the floor and the surrogate is on speaker, “I didn’t think both eggs would plant! You guys are sure you can handle two kids?”

NOW, FINALLY, CUT BACK TO MIKE. THE BELL RINGS AND HE BREATHES A HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF. ALL THE KIDS RUN OUT OF THE CLASSROOM TO THEIR PARENTS.

Emmy runs off to meet her mom and dad, Patty and Stan Uris

Elton and Cher are hoisted up by their dads, Richie and Eddie

the four of them wave to their old friend, Mike

the end :3

[ashleyfableblack]

I was conversing the other day with someone I'd met through The Temple.  Seemed a fine enough sort.  *head tilts* A little on the self-deprecating side of things, which tends to set off both my "mommy you" and my "have sex with yoouuu?" instincts at the same time.  *ahem* Make of that what you will.  During the course of our discussion, this person asserted that they were "Agender".  *shrugs* This made no impact on me, which seemed to surprise them.  They seemed grateful that I wasn't reacting negatively.  They weren't trying to shock or offend me but they were so used to that being the feedback that they'd come to expect it. How horrible... I thought to myself.  Why would anyone make such a bluster-fust over something so simple?  A person sees themselves as being innately of no gender.  *shrugs, brow furrowed*  They wish to be referred to by "they/them" pronouns?  Why would anyone care enough to be upset about that? 

I know some people have apparently been lambasted by another for mis-gendering them, a simple enough mistake.  I’ve heard tales of “screaming and crying” by some folkes over this issue, flying into fits of rage and so on.  I’ve not seen it, but I’m sure it has happened or at least something similar to this.  Regardless, this is not the issue at hand...

I myself was born "intersexed" as the doctors call it, a "herm".   Perhaps that has made me more sensitive to their situation, true.  That doesn't change the facts though, does it, lovely tumblrs?  We all make concessions for people, every day we are out and about, socializing.  We call people "sir" and "ma'am", titles of respect, basically as a means of civil discourse.  You likely have at least a few people in your life whom you refer to by names other than their legal ones.  The "why" of it doesn't matter.  You simply do because they ask you to.  Among my colleagues at the lab, just in my department there are Brian(Donald), Matt(Thomas), Mike(Michael), Lonnie(Lionell) and in other departments there are all manner of people with names which are their "Americanized" equivalents of Chinese, Laotian, Malaysian and Polynesian names which I will not attempt to type here as I would butcher them horribly. At the end of the day, lovely tumblrs, it doesn't matter if you "get" what they feel or understand it, if you "know that there's just two genders" or actually accept that as untrue.  Unless you're fucking, all that matters is just treating people with a basic level of dignity, compassion and respect.  They're people, just like you and they just want to be happy, like you, me and all of our mums.  *smiles*  One World for us all, beautiful fuzzies.  One world and One love.

[weekendwarriorblog]

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND March 29, 2019  - DUMBO, UNPLANNED, THE BEACH BUM, HOTEL MUMBAI

This is going to be another weekend where I haven’t really seen any of the wide releases except for a few that opened limited first. Next week will probably be the same as I head to Las Vegas for CinemaCon and will miss most of the bigger press screenings.

Sadly, I would have loved to have seen Tim Burton’s DUMBO (Disney) in time to review it for you, as I am generally a fan of Disney’s classic animated movies (vs. the Jeffrey Katzenberg wave from the ‘90s, most of which I still haven’t seen), as I am a fan of Tim Burton and much of the cast of this one. It includes Michael Keaton and Danny De Vito, both reuniting with Burton after Batman Returns, and Eva Green, who has appeared in a few of Burton’s recent movies… AND she once called me a “pervert.” (The story is funnier if I don’t explain why.) But the story of Dumbo is classic Disney in the sense that it reminds me of all the wonders of watching movies as a kid filled with joy and awe… as opposed to now where I always feel a sense of dread, wondering if a movie will be half as good as it hopes. Anyway, I’ll see this on Thursday night and maybe write something Friday if I’m up to it.

I’m less likely to see UNPLANNED (Pure Flix), a movie that I’m shocked even exists, let alone is being released into 1,000 theaters. This is almost like the polar opposite of the great Mike Leigh’s Vera Drake in that it’s a biopic about Abby Johnson, a Planned Parenthood clinic director who was so shaken by witnessing her first abortion (not her own) that she became an anti-abortion activist. Besides sounding like something out of Jordan Peele’s upcoming The Twilight Zone show, it’s also horrifying to think that the Pro-Life crowd is now trying to recruit the Christian Right to their cause through movies, one that received Pure Flix’s first R-rating, no less.

After premiering at SXSW, Harmony (Spring Breakers) Corine’s new movie THE BEACH BUM (NEON), starring Matthew McConaughey and a typically oddball cast including Snoop Dog, Zak Efron and Jonah Hill, will also open wide this weekend. I’ll probably try to catch this just cause I’m so curious about Corine’s oddball auteur sensibilities. Spring Breakers was actually a bit of an anomaly, and it was one of his few movies I actually liked, compared to something like Mister Lonely, which I found unwatchable despite its similarly-odd cast, which included Werner Herzog.

Then there are two movies expanding nationwide this weekend, both of which I’ve seen and enjoyed, the first of them being Anthony Maras’ directorial debut HOTEL MUMBAI (Bleecker Street), a terrific ensemble piece starring Dev Patel, Armie Hammer and Jason Isaacs – three actors I truly love – about the terrorist attacks on the luxurious Hotel Taj in 2008. I was really impressed with how Maras and his cast and crew tell this harrowing story that’s not quite on par as Peter Greengrass’ United 93 but has a similar impact as you watch it and see how these amazing people came together to prevent even more people from dying. I also should point out that the primarily Indian cast beyond Patel are also excellent, showing there’s a lot of talent coming from India that have yet to break out in a big way Stateside.

Focus will also expand Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre’s drama The Mustang into an unknown number of theaters, and I also recommend this movie if you have an opportunity to see it. It’s a wonderful movie starring Belgian actor Matthias Schoenaerts (Rust and Bone) as a convict who finds a way to fight against his anger issues and violent tendencies by training a wild horse in the prison’s program. Since I haven’t seen the other three movies above, as of this writing, I recommend seeking out Hotel Mumbai or The Mustang if they’re playing wherever you live.

LIMITED RELEASES

I was a bad boy this weekend and didn’t watch any of the screeners I was supposed to watch, so that means I’ve only seen one of the movies opening in select cities this weekend, and that was Kent Jones’ DIANE (IFC Films), which played at Tribeca last year where it won two awards. It stars Mary Kay Place as a Massachusetts woman named Diane, who puts most of her time into helping others in her big family over herself while also dealing with her son Brian’s (Jake Lacy) ongoing addiction that has him going in and out of rehab. Personally, I found it a slog when I saw it at Tribecalast year.

Opening in New York (Village East and Alamo Drafthouse, the latter a part of their Drafthouse Recommends series) and L.A. (three Laemmle theaters)  is Sophie Lorain’s French coming-of-age comedy SLUT IN A GOOD WAY (Comedy Dynamics), a movie that I haven’t gotten around to watching the screener, as of this writing, but what a great title, huh? It stars Marguerite Bouchard, Romane Denis and Rose Adam as three teenage girls exploring their first taste of freedom, all three of them in love with the guy who works at “Toy Depot” – a sex shop -- where they each apply for part-time jobs.

Also opening in select cities is Alison Klayman’s documentary THE BRINK (Magnolia) which follows former Trump chief strategist Steve Bannon through the 2018 mid-term elections as the controversial Breitbart founder tries to reinvent himself by getting involved in the European Parliamentary Elections of 2019 with his “global populist movement.” I’ll be curious to see how this compares to Errol (The Fog of War) Morris’ American Dharma, which premiered during film festivals last September but (as far as I know) still hasn’t been released yet. I’m not even sure it found distribution but Bannon is not a very popular figure among American liberals (for good reason), so I can’t imagine many critics would approve of either film.

This week’s Saban Films’ offering is Sarah Daggar Nickson’s thriller A VIGILANTE, starring Olivia Wilde as an abused woman who sets a course to help victims rid themselves of their domestic abusers while also hunting down her husband, whom she needs to kill in order to truly be free. It will play in select theaters Friday after a month on DirecTV.

Downton Abbey director Michael Engler reunites with Downton writer/creator Julian Fellowes who adapted Laura Moriarty’s bestselling book The Chaperone (PBS Distribution Masterpiece Films). The amazing Haley Lu Richardson (Split) plays Louise Brooks before she became a movie sensation in the ‘20s and is just a student in Wichita, Kansas. When she is sent to New York to study with a dance troupe for the summer, her mother requires a chaperone, a role taken on by the by-the-books Norma Carlisle (Elizabeth McGovern).  This witty period piece opens Friday at New York’s Landmark West 57 and Quad Cinema and then expands to L.A.’s Laemmle Royal, Playhouse 7 and Town Center 5 on April 5.

The Discovery Channel is also giving Ross (Born into Brothels) Kauffman’s new documentary Tigerlanda release in New York on Friday just a day before it premieres on the cable channel Saturday. It’s a film about a group of Russians trying to protect the last Siberian tigers from extinction, and it’s produced by Fisher Stevens of the Oscar-winning The Cove.

Cocaine Cowboys director Billy Corben returns with the doc Screwball (Greenwich), another film set in Miami, this one that looks into Major League Baseball’s doping scandal and how it affected New York Yankee’s Alex Rodriguez. It opens in select cities following its debut at TIFF last year.

The makers of The ABCs of Evil, Tim League and Ant Simpson, return with The Field Guide to Evil, a horror anthology featuring short films by eight (actually nine) foreign horror filmmakers telling folktales about myth and lore, including Peter Strickland (Berberian Sound Studio), Can Evrenol (Baskin), Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz (Goodnight Mommy) and Agnieszka Smoczynska (The Lure). I missed this movie at Fantasia last year (‘cause I didn’t go) but it will be opening in most Alamo theaters (about 40 nationwide) on Friday.

This week’s Bollywood release, opening in about 100 theaters nationwide, is Thiagarajan Kumararaja’s thriller Super Deluxe (Prime Media), the second film from the director who won the Indira Gandhi Award for Best Debut Film at the 59thNational Film Awards in India. It’s a film about how fate messes with the life of a group of people, as fate is wont to do.

Renowned indie distributor Jeff Lipsky’s seventh feature as a director, The Last (Plainview Pictures), will open in New York at the Angelika and CMX New York on Friday, then will expand to other cities including L.A. on April 26. It involves a large Jewish family of four generations learning that their 92-year-old matriarch, a Holocaust survivor (Rebecca Schull) has a secret that shocks the entire family.

Opening in L.A. at the Laemmle Music Hall is the Holocaust drama Sobibor (Samuel Goldwyn Films) from reputed Russian actor/director Konstantin Khabenskiy (he appeared in Timur Bekmambetov’s Wanted and Nightwatch), playing Soviet prisoner Alexander Perchersky, who led a rebellion at the Nazi’s Polish death camp Sobibor in 1943 in order to escape, freeing hundreds of Jews.

As a counterpoint to Unplanned, there’s Josh Huber’s romantic comedy Making Babies (Huber Brothers) about a couple played by Eliza Couple and Steve Howey who spent five years trying to have kids, so they start exploring other medical and spiritual ways to conceive a child. The movie also stars Ed Begley Jr. and the late Glenne Headly and will open in select cities.

STREAMING AND CABLE

Besides playing at the Egyptian in L.A. (see above), John Lee Hancock’s THE HIGHWAYMEN will be available on the Netflix streaming service after playing in select theaters for a couple weeks. I finally caught it last week, and really enjoyed it. It stars Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson as former Texas rangers Frank Hamer and Maney Gault, recruited by the Governor of Texas (Kathy Bates) to hunt down and kill Bonnie and Clyde, whose crime and killing spree has gotten out of hand. Hamer and Gault travel across stateliness trying to find them, following the different clues left behind. This is definitely my kind of movie, not just due to the subject matter, but also seeing such great actors as Costner (possibly the last of the bonafide movie stars?) and Harrelson taking on such great roles to show a different side of the story than the one mostly known from the Warren Beatty movie. I really enjoyed both actors’ performances and the general tone of the film, although I do feel that it was a little too long and drawn-out and not in a good way ala David Fincher’s Zodiac. But it does pay off, and it’s a shame that more people won’t be able to see this on the big screen because the film looks great due to the cinematography by John Schwartzman. I’ll also give a shout-out to my pal Johnny McPhail who plays the farmer who witnesses one of Bonnie and Clyde’s brutal murders. Rating: 7.5/10

Also, Friday sees the return of Santa Clarita Diet for its third season, again with Drew Barrymore and Timothy Olyphant. 

LOCAL FESTIVALS OF NOTE

The big festival starting in New York this week is the Film Society of Lincoln Center’s annual New Directors/New Films, which always has interesting stuff although it’s definitely getting more indie and esoteric in recent years. It kicks off tonight with Chinonye Chukwu’s prison-set drama Clemency, starring Alfre Woodard and Aldis Hodge, which recently won the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance. The festival’s Centerpiece Is Alejandro Landes’s Monos, another Sundance prize-winner, starring the wondrous Julianne Nicholson as an engineer who travels to the South American jungle and is taken captive by teenage guerillas. The Closing Night film on April 6 is Pippa Bianco’s Share– ALSO a Sundance prize-winner! – which deals with sexual assault and the role of the internet, something which seems very relevant and pertinent. There’s a lot of interesting foreign films and a good amount from women filmmakers in this year’s line-up, which you can read more about here.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

This weekend, the Metrograph begins its Total Kaurismäki Show, as in Finish filmmaker Aki Kaurismäki, who has been making festival-winning films for almost 40 years and has YET to have a film nominated for an Oscar. This Friday, the series begins with some of the director’s lesser-seen ‘80s movies Hamlet Goes Business  (1987),Calamari Union  (1985) and Crime and Punishment (1983), as well as Shadows in Paradise  (1986), Ariel  (1988) and then the 1990 film The Match Factory on Saturday. This week’s Late Nites at Metrograph  offering is Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner: The Final Cut  (1982/2007) and Playtime: Family Matinees (which has become my idea of comfort food in terms of cinema) is showing Abbot and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde  (1953). Sadly, I’ll be out of town on Tuesday when the Metrograph is presenting Claire Denis’ The Intruder (2004) with a QnA by Ms. Denis who will also introduce No Fear, No Die (1990) right afterwards. (If you also can’t make this night then never fear as BAM is beginning a full-on Denis retrospective, which you can read more about below.)

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Tarantino’s reopened rep theater continues to kill it with a single screening of Mike Nichols’ 1966 film Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, on Weds. afternoon. This week’s double features are John Boorman’sPoint Blank  (1967) and The Outfit (1973) on Weds. and Thurs., Fellini’sLa Strada (1954) – one of my personal faves – and Il Bidone  (1955) on Friday and Saturday, then the ‘30s musicals Dames and Footlight Paradeon Sunday and Monday. The weekend’s one-offs are midnight screenings of Kill Bill Volume 1on Friday and the comedy anthology Amazon Women on the Moon (1987) on Saturday. The weekend’s KIDDEE MATINEE is The Black Stallion (1979) and there will be a special 20thanniversary screening of the Wachowski’s The Matrixon Monday. Tuesday night’s GRINDHOUSE double feature is two directed by Roger Corman -- The Trip (1967) and The Wild Angels (1966).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Bob & Wray: A Love Story continues with a double feature of Virtue  (1932) and Viva Villa (1934) on Weds., a reshowing of Frank Capra’s Lost Horizon (1937) on Thursday as well as a Fay Wray double feature of Once to Every woman (1934) and They Met in a Taxi  (1936). Friday sees a reshowing of the double feature of The Mystery of the Wax Museum and The Vampire Bat, both from 1933, and a double feature of Lee Tracy movies, Doctor X (1932) and Carnival  (1935). On Saturday, there’s a special screening of the early Fay Wray film The Wild Horse Stampede with piano accompaniment, plus a double feature of John Ford’s The Whole Town’s Talking  (1935) and Frank Capra’s  You Can’t Take It With You  (1938), both written by Robert Riskin. This weekend’s Film Forum Jr. is the Disney animated classic Bambi (1942).

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Besides a Weds. double feature of John Lee Hancock’s new movie The Highwaymen with his 2002 baseball film The Rookie starring Dennis Quaid, the Egyptian begins Noir City: Hollywood – The 21stAnnual Los Angeles Festival of Noir, running all weekend. It begins Friday with the double feature of Trapped (1949) and The File of Thelma Jordon  (1950), continues Saturday with Appointment with Danger (1951) and Shdow on the Wall (1950), Sunday is Sudden Fear and The Narrow Margin, followed on Monday by City That Never Sleeps and 99 River Street from 1953 and on Tuesday with Playgirl and Hell’s Devil Acre, both from 1954. (This series will continue next week as well.)

BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):

On Saturday night, BAM will start a new series called “Beyond the Canon” (pairing a classic with a more recent film which it inspired) with a double feature of Anna Rose Holmer’s The Fits (2015) and Peter Weir’s Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975). At the same time, BAM is kicking off Strange Desire: The Films of Claire Denis, which will run until April 9 and will show some of the French filmmaker’s best films, including Beau Travail (1999), White Material  (2009), 35 Shots of Rum and more recent films like her upcoming English language debut High Life, starring Robert Pattinson.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

On Thursday, MOMI is having a special presentation of Alexandre Rockwell’s 1992 film In the Soup, starring Steve Buscemi, Stanley Tucci, Seymour Cassel, Jennifer Beals, Carol Kane and Jim Jarmusch as part of the 9thAnnual Queens World Film Festival with Rockwell in discussion with former director (and QWFF Spirit of Queens honoree) David Schwartz. To prepare for Mike Leigh’s fantastic new film Peterloo, MOMI is also presenting Past Presence: Mike Leigh’s Period Films, showing the master’s earlier films Topsy Turvy (1999), Mr. Turner (2014) and Vera Drake (2004). It will include a preview screening of Peterloonext Wednesday with Mike Leigh in person!

IFC CENTER (NYC)

I guess Weekend Classics: Early Godard is continuing this week after all with a 35mm print of Weekend (1967) while the winter season of Late Night Favorites ends with Alejandro Jodorowsky’s The Holy Mountain (1973) as well as David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive (2001).

MOMA (NYC):

Modern Matinees: B is for Bacall continues with Douglas Sirk’s 1956 film Written on the Wind on Weds, Vincente Minelli’s Designing Woman  (1957) Thursday and Young Man with a Horn (1950) on Friday.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

This week’s Friday midnight offering is Mandy director Panos Costamos’ 2010 debut Beyond the Black Rainbow.

Next week, it’s a doozy of an April opener with Warner Bros’ Shazam! taking on Paramount’s Pet Sematary and the STX drama The Best of Enemies trying to pick up any remaining scraps of business. I’ve only seen one of them.

[wesleybittner-blog]

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