#Moose Nation rise up btw!!!

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

*ahem* *crackles knuckles* dearly beloved, 'if we were in a video game and i defeated your character, what five items would they drop & why?' ojv or any rile-pile-style will do <3

Gorllllll u know I gotta do OrangeJuiceVerse Style!!! (Coincidentally guess what I happen to be drinking right now?)

Starting with Stanathan!!!

He’s dropping the guitar pick that hangs from his keys! It was a one year anniversary gift from Kyle and it helps his easily distracted ass remember his keys bc he remembers the pick :)

If you defeat him while he’s been in the rarely expressed Edgy Boy mood, you get the sword earring! He only wears it when he’s feelin Sad Sack Mode trying to snag him because it’s a miniature Anduril from lotr and it makes him feel stronger! Very powerful item!

He’s dropping the bottle of oj he stays strapped with at ALL TIMES (this covers the whole OJV timeline) bc he ALWAYS has juice in his backpack just in case Kyle needs it!!!

You defeat later timeline OJV Stan? DINGDINGDING you get an AA chip! He keeps his one month coin behind his ID in his wallet!!!

(More of a power boost than an item but) YOU GET A CHARISMA BOOST! Any vicious wild creature can be tamed, you can charm the wildest of animals, and are a calming FORCE!

Kyles turn!!!

Good luck defeating Kyle Speak No Evil Take No Shit Broflovski, bc he can either diffuse most situations or out argue GOD, but the first thing you’re getting is a FULL WATER BOTTLE! By god he WILL make sure everyone stays hydrated.

He’s also dropping a fully stocked, organized emergency kit! That shit comes in handy!!! First aid supplies, batteries, multi tool, extra charger, you name it. He is PREPARED!

(Not sure if this counts as an item but) congratulations you just got a Rage Volcano Powerup!!! If you’re in a situation that really, truly warrants it, your attack power doubles! Only in the most DIRE of times, so use it wisely!

He’s dropping the bag with an INSANE Amount of pockets! Store all your items and trinkets easily! And in an organized manner where your inventory is easily navigated!

AND!!! You get MOOSE!!! You get a tiny brown cat companion for all your adventures! The sweetest cat you ever did see who will ONLY attack the most awful adversaries!

This was so fun oh my god help OJV style the loves of my life Nina you’re a genius