#NF Afrina

[mibeau]

[Book Review] Not Here To Stay 🕊

🧮 Score: 4.5/5.0

■ When I first bought the book, it was due to my attraction to its cover design and the synopsis. I was intrigued to find out how the author will play out or interweave the fantasy realms with our Malaysian culture and beliefs. And the deliverance is beyond my expectations. Honestly, I was looking forward to reading fantasy adventure and not melodrama. But, as I read on, I put myself in Amani’s shoes. It started to feel like I was underwater, everything was so dreamy, and Amani kept getting drawn into her thoughts and not fully engaging with reality. So, time, as in plots, almost standing still. I kept going in circles. I remember thinking, was the author purposely doing this to prolong the novel with unnecessary fillers?

Until something nudged her. Triggered her combative personality/attitude. That was when the adventure began. Her quest give me the vibes of “The Divergent Series” collided with “The 13 Charms Trilogy”.

■ The book is divided into three parts. A few pages into the reading, we can sense Amani's moody aura. Like someone who has been scarred and full of rage inside, yet, kept a poker face. Throughout Part One, you can feel the cloudiness and heaviness of her surroundings. And when she’s interacting with other characters or situations, the narration is dreamy. Slowly, although it was still hazy by the middle of part two, the heavy cloud has been lifted. Her mind’s getting sharper, and ultimately in Part 3, the air is clear, and we(Amani) can breathe easily again. It’s like we didn’t realise that we were wheezing this whole time, to stay alive. Moving forward, Amani acquired a freshened thought process with no blockages. I enjoy and appreciate these transitions.

There were too many realistic scenes, to be specific, the locations and the abuses. I thought to myself, this cannot be loosely based on real events, it must be a true story, altered with fantasy realms to make it fiction. To send the message out. And my doubts were answered in the Author’s note at the end of the main plot.

■ When it comes to the fantasy world and its descriptions, the narrative was not as eloquent as the emotions poured. I wasn’t properly immersed and teleported there. It keeps pulling me to bits of many books/films I have read and watched before. The Cloud’s Castle reminded me of bits of “Doraemon: The Kingdom of Clouds”, Kira and her child reminded me of the changeling folklore, the worldsmiths’s systems and bureaucracy reminded me to “Harry Potter” plus “Jumper”. Maybe, slightly, “I am Number 4”. It’s all over the place. But, overall, it worked.

The mystical elements are brilliant metaphors for our states of mind, how they are managed and how they affect our actions and reactions. It is true in most occasions, care alone is not enough. Reminders alone are not enough. It needs the right tools and methods to resolve the entanglements. To convey the validations or clarifications of things we subconsciously know and misunderstand. Bottled feelings are never a good thing. It is a ticking bomb. Its eruption is destructive. (SPOILER ALERT: in this book, the feelings were literally bottled! Haha, amazing!)

Amani’s conversations with Najmi, especially in Part Two, were really therapeutic. In Part Three, the plot twist was a surprise, a good one.

■ The book is written in time jumps. Back and forth is totally fine. I enjoyed it, as much as I enjoyed “The Witch of Portobello” by Paulo Coelho. However, I just don’t think the “plus-minus” of “day counts” at the beginning of every chapter was necessary. It distracted me and caused confusion. So after 10 chapters in, I stopped bothering with it. And start gauging the time period based on contexts. . ■ In gist, it is a journey to recovery and closure. It is melancholic with sparkles and deliciously filling quotes. The metaphors were blended seamlessly. I am 100% impressed. High applause for this book. If you want to see things from the lens of a depressed, grieved person, I recommend you to watch a Kdrama titled: Daily Dose of Sushines. If you want to be in their minds instead, you must read this book. Highly recommended!

■ A playlist to keep you company and immersed in emotions.

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