#NOT excusing his actions btw

[riverstyxsarts]

“And if beauty is terror,” said Julian, “then what is desire? We think we have many desires, but in fact we have only one. What is it?”

“To live,” said Camilla.

“To live forever,” said Bunny, chin cupped in palm.

[jade-len]

luo binghe better than me fr i think i would've gone fucking apeshit if the person i loved with my entire soul pretty much said "fuck you" because of my race and pushed me down into literal hell for me to suffer for years

i've said it before and i'll say it again, i really don't think we give binghe enough credit. that man was on concerning levels of forgiving all the way from the start

[thedroloisms]

just an essay bc it's been on my mind but the way that victimhood becomes a weapon on social media is so fucking stupid and counterintuitive to actual advocacy. people wielding "im a victim" as a defense not only in situations actually involving their specific case but also in basically every damn situation in the world is so ???? even in cases involving dream, for example, i will see people using his history as a means of defending him (it's really fucked up that you would accuse a victim of ___, he's an abuse victim i'm sure he won't defend ___ and that he'll ___) and while i understand where that sentiment comes from, the base assumption it's making is...nakedly untrue. and assuming its truthfulness can hurt victims moreso than it helps them.

being a victim isn't moralizing. being a victim doesn't make you a good person. suffering isn't absolution, and going through fucked up shit doesn't make someone "good." people equate abuser = bad person and victim = good person, and then assume that victims are incapable of abusive behavior or "problematic" internalized ideas. an abuser can't be neurodivergent, or mentally ill, or part of a marginalized group, and most importantly an abuser can't be a victim. the boxes of victim and abuser are strictly defined with no overlap. once you've been through something truly, verifiably, Fucked Up (tm), congrats! you get a certificate of eternal victimhood that prevents you from ever being a Real Bad Person ever for the rest of your life.

only that's not how real life works! it's just not! generational trauma leads to cycles of abuse that perpetuate themselves over whole generations of people! the kids that think that it's perfectly fine and a-okay for a parent to physically punish their children don't tend to be the ones with parents that don't lay a finger on them! and you know, it sucks. it sucks that you get nothing out of being hurt, that there's no fucking prize, that there are no suffering vouchers for you to cash in because of the abuse you suffered that can give you good-person-points. it sucks to endure all that shit for nothing. but the opposite idea of suffering making you a good person is the exact reason why some people preach about the miles they walked to school in the driving rain to excuse taking out their shitty temper on their small children.

being abused generally doesn't make one "better." if anything, trauma tends to fuck you up in ways that hurt you...and others. going through shit tends to make people worse. working to get better is something that requires actual conscious effort, not something that you are given as a side effect of going through hell. over and over again, traumatized individuals who are made to feel powerless and given little freedom and ability to change their circumstances, when in a situation where they are given power to some degree over some person, may choose to abuse that power while they're in their own abusive situation or after. part of being a victim of abuse often means having a distorted view of the abuse you've been through! it can mean normalizing fucked up behavior! looking at shit and treating it lightly because you've been taught that it's "not that bad," if you've been taught that it's bad at all! victims aren't granted perfect ideologies from god because they walked through flames--cult survivors usually have to unlearn all sorts of messed up beliefs that were drilled into them--beliefs that many people on twitter would then damn them for, because obviously if you've thought something like that in the past then you're a bigoted hateful individual.

i can only speak from my own experience, but i can't fucking count the number of people i've heard of or met or known personally who have been through some kind of trauma in the past, who are undoubtably victims of abuse, who then go on to act in toxic, manipulative, and abusive ways to others. oftentimes, these people are aware of the fact that they were in abusive situations in the past and make quite a big deal about the fact that they care about victims, as a victim, and want to advocate for them. they're the same people who react extremely negatively to anyone alluding to the idea that they could be abusive--they're not like that, they've been abused, how could anyone accuse them of abusing another person, don't they know how much that hurts with their history. and so on and so forth.

and...i have a lot of sympathy for these individuals, generally speaking. because as mentioned above, being abused in the past doesn't necessarily make it harder for you to be a perpetrator in the future. sometimes--oftentimes, even--it's the opposite. and i feel for them, because going through trauma and being hurt makes you scramble for ways to not be hurt again, and oftentimes the easiest answer for that (and the ways of solving problems as modeled to them in the past!) is control, and controlling another party can very easily slip into manipulative, abusive behavior. especially if you still have internalized ideas mixed in with the fear that surviving abuse entails, internalized ideas that are often left unexamined by people who believe that their victimhood absolves them from any further responsibility. i feel for people who are deathly afraid of ever being seen as terrible people, oftentimes because of the shit that they went through, who seek explanations for their abusers' behavior that make it so much easier to simplify the matter into "they're something separate from me, something that i can never become." i sympathize with the anger and fear and frustration and grief that might never had had a healthy outlet while in a past situation that ends up poured out into places where it shouldn't be in the present, i sympathize with the desire to find reason in being hurt where it doesn't exist, to want there to be something to make the whole damn thing worth it instead of having nothing to take with you but your pain.

but at the end of the day, that's not how life works. that's not how abuse works. yeah, there are abusers who are cruel for cruelty's sake, who are aware of the harm they do and desire to cause more--and there are just as many who genuinely believe that they're doing the right thing, that they're doing good, that they care for the one that they're hurting unselfishly and wholeheartedly. there are many, many people who hurt others because they have been hurt before, and this isn't an excuse--of course not--but refusing to acknowledge the ways that pain can perpetuate itself and blinding oneself to the possibility of their own actions ever being abusive can literally be how this pain continues. it's good to be self aware, it's good to want to do the right thing, but assuming that victims are good people because of the suffering they went through not only means that so-called "bad victims" (or anyone that's not yet Acceptably untangled the thought patterns and actions that have been normalized to them, or anyone who lashes out in quote-unquote appropriate ways as judged by whatever social media council is handing out social justice tickets for the week) get overlooked and ignored, but abusive patterns of behavior are allowed to continue to exist, just in a repackaged form with different language. it's not fair to victims to nail them to this standard of so-called righteousness that is also inextricably connected to their experiences, allowed to be revoked if they're too "abuser" to be "victim" anymore, or to overlook the victims of their behavior because their inherent suffering-borne righteousness keeps them from crossing the line into bad behavior.

at the end of the day, no one deserves abuse, victims deserve to be advocated for, and people who have been through horrific shit didn't deserve to go through horrific shit. but you don't get handed get-out-of-jail-free cards for being treated badly, you know?

[nemeliis]

He is SUCH a piece of crap and that's the appeal.

Like YES. You're an insecure, greedy piece of shit!! You do ALL WRONGS and I love you for it!!!

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."

But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️

So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to

And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to

Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!

[theokusgallery]

The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first

[ghosts-r-real-i-swear]

Me when I invalidate SA Victims and then proceed to ignore any evidence that the character I like was a bad person. Snape is morally grey, he’s not supposed to be perfect but at least snape stans can admit wrongdoing.

[shittywriterbrain]

me: yeah, i like this character a lot, especially their monologues

also me whenever that character opens their mouth: shut up. shut the fuck up. who asked

[sanjipussyindulgence]

denji’s extreme poverty in the past does put into perspective why hes so heartless about scamming people nowadays. this guy spent more on two packs of cigarettes than denji had to eat with for a month.

[gyldenguard]

Homophobia not being a thing in the BI is simultaneously so refreshing and also absolutely fucking hilarious bc it implies that Belos isn’t homophobic

We see in Eclipse Lake that Hunter doesn’t bat an eye when Amity tells him that she and Luz are dating, meaning he sees no issue w/ it.

But then we also see in Any Sport in a Storm that he’s never had contact w/ anyone outside of Belos and the castle, meaning that virtually everything he’s learned has been through the lens of Belos.

Which thus implies that if Hunter never learned to have an issue w/ same-sex couples, it’s bc Belos never taught him to have an issue w/ same-sex couples.

And idk I just find it so fucking funny that this is his one redeeming quality. Emperor “I can excuse murder, racism and genocide, but I draw the line at homophobia” Belos, everyone.

[radioactive-cloud]

those past few days are really testing my patience with some of the takes and opinions i've seen on the internet and i'm so fucking done with all of this i just want to delete all my accounts from everywhere and live somewhere in the woods (as far away from russia as i can) and to never come in contact with another human being again

[boo-moved]

Astarion fans, explain to me why him hating the gur is justified without at all mentioning the fact he was almost killed by them. Look at the white *high* elf magistrate in a city who was getting hurt by a minority group.

[chowonsang]

like i know alcoholism is a big problem in sk and i know well never know whats actually going on in teos life, and tbh im glad their keeping most of everything under wraps (esp since from what i gathered hes still under brave) but i just really hope he gets better with whatever is going on and that he never gets his license back

[morn1e]

But what if we want Benson hcs 👉👈

DESTROYERS OF FUCKING WORLDS.

okkkkk so idk how nor where 2 start soooooo……

-worlds biggest left fan. does everything w his left - ben writes w his left, opens cabinets etc w his left, smokes w his left, has his watch on his left, picks up things w his left 1st, answers the phone w his left, when eating w a spoon uses his left etc etc. his left hand is his best and truest friend.

-has pretty bad seasonal(spring specifically) allergies. spring time esp in the park is the most miserable time 4 benson&he heavily avoids any work in park maintenance during this period or even being outside 4 the matter&just strictly stays in his office during the whole season just so he does not die&make it out alive till summer or smth

-burns SOOOO easily.dude is already pale as it is+ lives in california(wtf was he thinking) so legally cannot be on the beach without 874927483coats of sunscreen or will b on life support in agony w aloe vera on 80% of his body 4 the next few days. poor guy

-worlds #1 heaviest sleeper. could genuinely sleep through a typical regular show episode demon spawn destroying the park shenanigan unintentionally. that is just how much of a deep sleeper he is. also snores like a chainsaw sometimes.

-subconsciously does those pen tricks on his hand when holding 1 when he is on the phone or smth. bens drummer days really influenced this&those who get 2 see him do it think it is the coolest thing ever.

-really really REALLLLYYYYYY loves subs. subs r the food ever 4 ben. would have them 4 breakfast, lunch&dinner if he could. would choose a sub over some 16michelin star restaurant like bistro en le parc anytime.

-grown 2 like theater&operas&etc. i always assumed since benson has been a metalhead he found things like operas 2 b boring as shit bcuz ohhh so classy compared 2 like a death metal concert thus never liking or going 2 any?but since being w joan&w her love 4 theater, they often go 2 things similar like that so he was only forced 2 accept the fact that he was going 2 have 2 watch some performances. has grown 2 really enjoy them alongside joan.

-out of all the colas, bens fave is dr pepper.

-also really really likes cereal. the snack&breakfast ever. most favourite r cini minis&lucky charms(do NOT dare 2 eat the marshmallows. he notices when some r gone then gets really mad.)

-also really adores chiffon cake.

-has slowly grown a habit of keeping sticky notes @ places. since w being w joan&her severe habit of having a kabillion sticky notes plastered on every piece of object in the house/@ work, benson subconsciously took the habit&has sticky notes sometimes hoarding his office too. thinks it is ridiculous when it gets too out of hand&blames solely joan 4 it.maybe get into petty arguments w her over this.she thinks it is the funniest crap ever

-has a weaker stomach so gets easily nauseated/grossed out by stuff like the bitch he is(this is more canon ig)

-heavy smokerrrr!!1!1!1!!!have mentioned this b4 a million times but u cannot tell he this guy does not have a severe nicotine addiction. the stress of being the manager of the park has done no good 4 benny. he goes on many smoke breaks during the day 2 which often gets lectured by pops on the harms of smoking if caught. also smokes marlboro reds.

-worlds shittiest eyesight!1!!1!1!!!!!!!has worn glasses since he could remember. SEVERE shortsightedness&SERIOUSLY dependent on his glasses otherwise it is game over 4 this loser. stupid bitch prob has like -6D vision if not worse. ben would wear contacts, even prefer in doing so instead of glasses but finds the process 2 b tedious plus he would never recover if he would attempt in taking them out after eating chicken wings. do NOT put on his glasses 4 fun or the severity of them will make u go blind in an instant.

-despite shown in the show that he drinks mainly coffee, benson actually prefers tea&is more of a tea drinker. i said what i said.

-not rly a hc but can&will get in your face if u start it. u can say he is really stubborn. u put pickles in his burger when he asked 4 none? or maybe u r taking way too long w repairs 2 his car @ the carshop? cool he will confront u abt it in a civil manner @ first but if u talk back benson is chewing ur ass out&will not mind having a screaming match.will stand his ground no matter what.

-again not rly a hc more like common sense 2 his character but when really fighting will seriously blow up when in an argument when it comes 2 arguments in his relationship? smth that does not always occur, in fact such rarely ever happen, but when they do, they r fucking ugly - filled w screaming, stuff most likely getting thrown&destroyed&filled w tons of tears after bcuz the guy genuinely regrets everything what happened&knows it is his fault 4 his anger&things getting so out of hand. is the 1st 1 2 apologise bcuz the guilt just eats the poor guy up so much he just cannot stand it anymore.good thing they r rare

-has a bad case of road rage. bennys anger issues absolutely do no good esp on the road w other trash drivers. joan is genuinely sometimes terrified 2go somewhere w him driving

-used 2 skate a lot as a teen. has gotten really rusty over the years but could still manage 2 do a clean ollie @ the drop of a hat. with practice he could make mordecai&rigby shit themselves @ how awesome he is @ skateboarding.

-actually hates it when other ppl call him by a nickname like ben or even worse, benny, even in a joking manner. just stick 2 benson if u need 2 mention his name. only family&joan can call him those names. will never admit this but really likes it when joan calls him benny actually..🥹

-is not too keen on nicknames but it makes him feel different when being referred 2 as hon. makes him go all😢🥹🥹🫶🥹🫶❤️

-knows a lot of yoyo tricks. probably still has his old yoyo somewhere in storage.

-is the younger sibling between him&his sister by 3-5 years. idk his sisters name bcuz it was never stated but i imagine it 2 b something like katherine? maybe caroline? she lives out of state&ben is not the closest 2 her. nothing really personal just never really connected w her. they talk sometimes but r not all that close.

-aside his crappyish upbringing 2 always yell 4 everything he wants @ home,(2 which amends have been made&the family life is getting better), benson is actually a really fragile guy. always has been. be kind to him.

[ecccentrick]

When you think about it, Xie Lian was such a horrible cousin to Qi Rong. Always misjudging him. Some people??? Torture street children??? To cope??? His later cannibalism is obviously a manifestation of his craving for love. Love that Xie Lian had taken away along with his carriage. Yeah, people's lives were saved by that action, but at what cost???

[dramaticallychill]

i was ready to like hob and then he casually brings up how he's a slave trader???? he then has to be told how that's bad?!!!!