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madscientistjournal · 5 years ago

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Fiction: Do Not Touch

An essay by Professor Caldwell Mook, as provided by Nick Morrish Art by Luke Spooner

I was recently the recipient of a sizeable bequest from Sir Blumquist Plimpington, a speculative microbiologist with whom I worked during the Manhattan Frog Pox outbreak of the early nineties. Although I was not directly involved with his virus containment efforts, I did assist in the subsequent cover-up when it was unmasked as a hoax, designed to part the good people of Wall Street from their dubiously earned cash.

I was of course delighted to receive such a large sum of money from a man who I remembered with much fondness and suspicion. Somewhat ironically, Sir Blumquist died from Irritable Parrot Fever, which had long been thought to be an imaginary ailment. His will, therefore, specified that this particular bequest should be spent exclusively on research into disease prevention. True to his instructions, I began investigating the major causes of the transmission of infectious disease, which can be broken down into the following categories:

Contact

Food Contamination

Insect Bites

Foreign Travel

Extra-Terrestrial Experimentation

Television Medical Documentaries

After much consultation with experts in the field, I quickly determined that items five and six were most likely figments of a paranoid imagination and concentrated my efforts on the remaining four.

As I’m sure you are aware, I conduct most of my work in northern England. At that latitude, insect-borne diseases such as malaria and Dengue fever are virtually unknown. I, therefore, felt poorly qualified to investigate item three. The only way I might have researched this issue would have been to combine it with item four. However, I decided journeying to the mosquito-infested tropics was a step too far, even though Sir Blumquist’s funds would have enabled me to travel first class.

Item two, food contamination, was an obvious concern, especially as much of it now comes from abroad, where it is almost certainly grown in dirty fields filled with bugs and without the modern conveniences of insecticides, herbicides, and fungicides. I, therefore, decided to investigate this aspect of infection control by baking or boiling all my food for several hours before consumption. This does compromise the flavor, consistency, and nutritional value of many food items, particularly soft fruit and bread products. However, in my student days, I survived perfectly well on a diet of pizza and vitamin pills, and thought it well worth the inconvenience to prevent any possible contaminants reaching my digestive system.

This left item one, infection via contact, as the prime focus of my investigations. I decided I need to research both direct and indirect contact, and it soon struck me that one could disinfect two birds with one radiation source, so to speak. The mechanism common to all contact is of course touch–whether that be kissing, sneezing, scratching, or opening the door to a doctor’s waiting room. It seemed to me that much of this was unnecessary and should be avoided or even banned, in the interests of public health.

“This is where you sit to control the robots and that Van Der Graaf generator thing over there. Not sure what it does, but we automated it anyway. Hope you don’t mind?”

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2020 collection.

Professor Caldwell Mook holds the Mithering Chair of General Negativity at the University of Leeds, England. He specializes in preemptive risk analyses for speculative technology. Professor Mook regularly offers discouragement and derision to scientists and engineers around the world.

Nick Morrish is an increasingly mad engineer who lives in Hampshire, England, where his eccentricities are considered quite normal. He clings to the last vestiges of sanity by writing serious and truthful stories about the nature of existence. Since no one else seems to observe truth in quite the same way, his work is often mistaken for satire and fantasy.

Luke Spooner, a.k.a. ‘Carrion House,’ currently lives and works in the South of England. Having recently graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a first class degree, he is now a full time illustrator for just about any project that piques his interest. Despite regular forays into children’s books and fairy tales, his true love lies in anything macabre, melancholy, or dark in nature and essence. He believes that the job of putting someone else’s words into a visual form, to accompany and support their text, is a massive responsibility, as well as being something he truly treasures. You can visit his web site at www.carrionhouse.com.

Fiction: Do Not Touch was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

#Caldwell Mook #Luke Spooner #Nick Morrish #Pathology #Robotics

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thedesignair · 6 years ago

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Today saw the official arrival of the British Airways A350. The aircraft which was meant to arrive on Friday was delayed due to the air traffic control and weather issues at Heathrow. However, today saw no sign of either of those. Under perfectly blue skies, British Airways wheeled out the new aircraft which in reality arrived to Heathrow two days prior.

In front of the media, the airline opened the doors for the first official time, with a full compliment of crew descending the stairs to greet the arrival party.

Once the crew, who brought the aircraft from Toulouse departed, we were allowed onboard this very shiny new aircraft with a small group of journalists.

Economy ‘World Traveller’

Situated across two cabins, the economy cabin features 219 Recaro seats in a 3 x 3 x 3 configuration, with the best seats in the house being the front row of the first cabin which have just 2 seats by the window and 4 in the middle with heaps of legroom.

The cabin features a sea of blue seats which mirror those found on the 787 and upgraded 777s with a bi-fold table and gate-to-gate IFE, with the system powered by Panasonic Aerospace. There is Wi-Fi Connectivity on board too for those who need to be connected at 35,000ft.

Another hidden bonus on the A350 is that every single seat has a window. There are no missing windows throughout the entire aircraft meaning that no one will be tweeting this window view of a wall anymore.

Premium Economy ‘World Traveller Plus’

The A350 has 56 World Traveller Plus premium economy seats in a 2 x 4 x 2 configuration, which mirrors the same narrower Premium Economy seats found in Virgin’s A350 Premium Economy.

These seats feature calf rests across the entire cabin, with full leg rests found on the front row. The seats are incredibly comfortable, with a deep recline and sturdy headrest that cradles the head during sleep.

Once again the front row is certainly the best, offering the largest legroom and hard literature pockets that will quickly become the foot rest of choice for the long-haul flights the A350 will eventually fly.

The seats also feature large TV screens, a really deep recline and cocktail tables, which will be a beneficial upgrade on the World Traveller product, but unlike other carriers, British Airways still doesn’t offer some of the ground product enhancements that this cabin class is given by other carriers, such as priority airport services, lounge access and priority boarding.

The seats are situated in a smart, grey bulkheaded cabin which has a hard partition between it and both economy and the new Club Suite cabins which makes it feel a lot more private, but with it comes one drawback. The cabin doesn’t benefit from its own toilets, meaning they are shared with the rest of the economy cabin situated towards the rear of the aircraft.

The New Club World Suite

However at the front of the aircraft, things are very different. For the first time in two decades the airline has brought a totally new Business Class product to the skies. The enhanced Super Diamond seat, featuring privacy door means the carrier for the first time is offering a competitive business class product, matching the expectations of an international business class passenger.

Let us get our first and only gripe out of the way. It’s sad to see British Airways – that used to invest heavily into a bespoke inflight hard product – take the route of an off-the-shelf product, and taking many years to come to this conclusion, instead of investing in a bespoke, new product that truly showcases and celebrates Britain’s craftsmanship when it comes to the aviation sphere.

The cabin, featuring 56 seats in a 1 x 2 x 1 configuration is bright and airy, but the airline has opted for the centre overhead bins, a savvy decision considering the airline’s demographic. There have been countless times we’ve seen business class travellers utilising the carry on bag allowance to allow them to get through the airport quicker even on short stopovers on long-haul routes.

The seat on first impressions is lightyears ahead of its previous incarnation, and anyone who has flown on several business class cabins have probably already enjoyed the same hard product (with it already appearing on the likes of China Airlines, Air Canada and even American Airlines.

This seat however, features a door for added privacy. It doesn’t really offer any privacy to anyone walking past, but from those seated, it’s certainly an added bit of seclusion that mirrors the current Club World product.

The added benefit is that the seat is cocooned by a felt fabric which helps towards noise cancelling, making the cabin that little bit quieter. Although how this fabric performs through frequent use will be proved over the coming months.

In comparison to the press photos there is a clear ‘cooler’ and blue-er tone to the cabin, with a distinct, slate colour running throughout the seats, carpet and surfaces.

The seat features the Super diamond’s traditional slide-down table which allows for a bi-fold table and an intermediate table position, great for holding drinks or snacks pre or post a full dining service, while allowing for better egress.

The seat also features both hard button and touchscreen seat controls as well as an 18 inch Panasonic touchscreen monitor, supported by a handheld controller, found in one of the storage holes.

Perhaps one of the biggest changes from the pre-existing Club World seats is the addition of a footwell, which may not please every passenger, but the overwhelming benefits far outweigh this simple and easy-to-live-with compromise.

Other nice design touches include the mirror in the side storage unit, seat numbering by the door and dividing screens between the centre pairs, although the use of the older striped-pattern BA brand palette seems at odds with an otherwise modern interior.

Another great addition, separating the two Club World cabins, is a walk up Club World bar, which allows for a small self-service galley, perfect for a quick snack or drink between services. Although, we question how much this will be used, considering, for at least a little while, the seclusion, and privacy will mean most passengers will enjoy settling in to their private cocoons for the majority of their flight.

Well done BA, on a modern aircraft product which can hold its own through the international market, however it would have been great to see just a little more innovation and personalisation of an otherwise tried-and-tested industry standard Business Class product. The question is what does this man for First. As we’ve been told, both this, and the existing First Class cabin will be on retro-fitted 777s and 787-10s that will enter in to service soon.

The Big BA Picture

LONDON, UK: British Airways A350 at London Heathrow on 29 July 2019 (Picture by Nick Morrish/British Airways)

British Airways receives its first A350. But is it all it's cracked up to be? We take a closer exclusive look... Today saw the official arrival of the British Airways A350. The aircraft which was meant to arrive on Friday was delayed due to the air traffic control and weather issues at Heathrow.

#a350 #airbus #BA #British Airways #Business class #Cabin #design #Economy #fleet #lhr #london #new aircraft #oneworld #Premium Economy #uk

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aronsonfilm · 3 years ago

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vimeo

SUDDEN LIGHT from Wellington Films on Vimeo.

Mia takes her sister Squeeze to walk their dog in the fields near their home. The landscape begins to morph around them, tricking them and introducing Mia to a strange man lurking at the edge of a dark wood.

Cast Esmé Creed-Miles Millie Asford Sam Spruell

BFI Network presents in association with Stefan Allesch-Taylor A Wellington Films Production

“SUDDEN LIGHT”

Crew Director of Photography: Nick Morris Editors: Paco Sweetman, Robbie Gibbon Composer: Tim Morrish Sound Designer: Tom Jenkins Production Designer: Kat Black Costume Designer: Verity May Lane Hair & Make-Up Designer: Billie McKenzie Executive Producers: Rachel Robey, Alastair Clark, Stefan Allesch-Taylor and Charlie Kay Produced by: Tom Wood Written and Directed by: Sophie Littman

wellingtonfilms.co.uk © Wellington Films Ltd MMXIX

Festivals

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artwalktv · 3 years ago

Video

vimeo

SUDDEN LIGHT is a film about two sisters plunged into a powerless limbo in the face of oncoming grief. BFI Network presents in association with Stefan Allesch-Taylor A Wellington Films Production “SUDDEN LIGHT” Cast Esmé Creed-Miles Millie Asford Sam Spruell Crew Director of Photography: Nick Morris Editors: Paco Sweetman, Robbie Gibbon Composer: Tim Morrish Sound Designer: Tom Jenkins Production Designer: Kat Black Costume Designer: Verity May Lane Hair & Make-Up Designer: Billie McKenzie Executive Producers: Rachel Robey, Alastair Clark, Stefan Allesch-Taylor and Charlie Kay Produced by: Tom Wood Written and Directed by: Sophie Littman https://bit.ly/2BTIus0 © Wellington Films Ltd MMXIX Festivals Cannes Film Festival | Main Competition | 2020 Cork International Film Festival | WINNER | Best International Short Film | 2020 Montréal Festival de Nouveau Cinema | 2020 London Short Film Festival | 2020 Encounters Short Film Festival | 2020 Edinburgh Film Festival | 2020 Stockholm Film Festival | 2020 Leeds International Film Festival | 2020 Festival International du Film de La Roche-sur-Yon | 2020 SEMINCI: Valladolid International Film Festival | 2020 Kino Pavarasis: Vilnius Film Festival | 2021 Philosophical Film Festival: Skopje | 2021 Lago Film Festival | 2021 North Bend Film Festival | 2021 Curtocircuito: Festival Internacional de Cine | 2021

#Videos & Films

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timespanner · 7 years ago

Photo

(x)

Sat 14 Jul 2018 7.00pm - 9.00pm Jerwood Hall, LSO St Luke's, London

LSO Discovery’s Soundhub programme presents new music by first year composers, performed by LSO musicians and guests. Join us to hear Robin Haigh’s survey of 900 years of musical language and instrumentation alongside Lillie Harris’ interactive insight into coercion and control in a Gothic-Romantic monologue. Then take the fragile journey from sorrow to hope through music and dance with Yvonne Eccles before Nick Morrish Rarity explores ghostly sounds etched into the brittle grooves of shellac records.

You can follow this link to find out more about this event, and to book your tickets as well.

You can also listen to a few preview snippets on Lillie Harris’ Soundcloud.

#LSO Soundhub Showcase #London Symphony Orchestra #My Last Duchess #Lillie Harris #Simon Kane #not Time Spanner

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the254hub · 5 years ago

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British Airways doubles up in Pakistan with direct flights to Lahore

#BritishAirways doubles up in #Pakistan with direct flights to #Lahore

LONDON, UK: British Airways Boeing 787 Dreamliner at Engineering, London Heathrow on 05 July 2013 (Photo by Nick Morrish/British Airways)

British Airways has announced it will begin flying from Heathrow to Lahore, Pakistan, four times a week from 12 October 2020.

The ‘City of Gardens’, Lahore, is known for its rich culture and will be the second city in Pakistan that British Airways will…

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#British Airways #Lahore #Pakistan

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ebenalconstruct · 5 years ago

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Construction Manager of the Year finalists revealed

The shortlist for the Chartered Institute of Building (CIOB) Construction Manager of the Year Awards 2020 has been revealed.

Sixty of the best construction managers in the UK have been named in the shortlists for nine categories.

The finalists will be whittled down to one winner in each category when the awards are presented in November.

The announcement of the finalists for each category follows a rigorous assessment process which sees the CMYA judges assess paper applications, as well as panel interviews.

Caroline Gumble, Chief Executive of the CIOB said: “These awards are the most rigorously judged in the industry and a unique barometer for management talent in our sector. To reach the final is a major achievement and a sure sign that the very highest level of professionalism is on show.”

The finalists are:

Residential under 10 storeys

Tony Gallagher – Durkan Ltd

Matt Hamilton – SEACON Ltd

Dominic Jankowski – The Power House, Gunpowder Mill

Paul Jeal – St George West London

Tomasz Magiera – WRW Construction Ltd

Michael Saunders – Lovell Partnerships

Mark Woollen – Willmott Dixon

Residential over 10 storeys

Brendan Conway – McAleer and Rushe

Caroline Heraghty – Ardmore Construction Ltd

Terry Kirby – Berkeley Homes East Thames

Alistair MacPartlin – JJ Rhatigan Building Contractors

Anthony Mitchell – ISG

Patrick Phillips – Durkan Limited

Gerald Ward – Bennett Construction Ltd

Primary education

Laura Allison – Morgan Sindall

Mike Castle – Knights Brown

Mark McElwee – Morgan Sindall

Michael Pyatt – Morgan Sindall

Stephen Sear – Morgan Sindall Construction

Thomas Prince – Willmott Dixon Construction

Massimiliano Crea – MID Group

Schools

John Blundell – T J Evers

Andrew Miles – Kier Construction

Daniel Morrish – Morgan Sindall

Mark Prince – Eric Wright Construction

Graham Thompson – Willmott Dixon

Higher education

Neil Adams – Willmott Dixon Interiors

David Clarke – Wates Construction

Frank Connolly – Mace Ltd

Anthony Cooper – Interserve Construction

Karl Crisp – Willmott Dixon Construction Ltd

Glyn Jones – Willmott Dixon

Lee Mullett – Willmott Dixon Construction (Midlands)

Adam Price – Beard

Ian Rainbow – BAM Construct UK

Lee Wayper – Sir Robert McAlpine Ltd

Richard White – ISG Construction Ltd

Leisure

Jamie Beard – Willmott Dixon Construction

Theresa McErlean – Heron Bros

Danni Oliveira – VINCI Construction UK

Jonathan Roberts – VINCI Construction UK

Nick Stoyles – Willmott Dixon Construction

Paul Turner – VINCI Construction UK

Offices

Kevin English – Lendlease

Paul Epton – Robertson Construction Central East

Richard Kirkpatrick – Skanska

Daniel Miller – Wates Construction Ltd

Ian Rowe – Oakmont Construction Limited

Craig Stokes – Laing O’Rourke

Public and infrastructure

Kevin Alden – Sir Robert McAlpine Ltd

Kristian Cartwright – Willmott Dixon

Paul Clarke – Willmott Dixon

Brian Hanlon – Willmott Dixon Construction Ltd

Russ Parks – Willmott Dixon Construction Ltd

John Stedman – Morgan Sindall Construction and Infrastructure Ltd

Simon Whittingham – Willmott Dixon Construction

Healthcare

Matt Gavin – Kier Construction

Tom Millard – Willmott Dixon Construction

Lewis Blake – Willmott Dixon Interiors

Robert Palmer – Kier Regional Building London and South East

from https://www.constructionenquirer.com/2020/08/06/construction-manager-of-the-year-finalists-revealed-3/

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jaigeddes · 5 years ago

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Construction Manager of the Year finalists revealed

The shortlist for the Chartered Institute of Building (CIOB) Construction Manager of the Year Awards 2020 has been revealed.

Sixty of the best construction managers in the UK have been named in the shortlists for nine categories.

The finalists will be whittled down to one winner in each category when the awards are presented in November.

The announcement of the finalists for each category follows a rigorous assessment process which sees the CMYA judges assess paper applications, as well as panel interviews.

The finalists are:

Residential under 10 storeys

Tony Gallagher – Durkan Ltd

Matt Hamilton – SEACON Ltd

Dominic Jankowski – The Power House, Gunpowder Mill

Paul Jeal – St George West London

Tomasz Magiera – WRW Construction Ltd

Michael Saunders – Lovell Partnerships

Mark Woollen – Willmott Dixon

Residential over 10 storeys

Brendan Conway – McAleer and Rushe

Caroline Heraghty – Ardmore Construction Ltd

Terry Kirby – Berkeley Homes East Thames

Alistair MacPartlin – JJ Rhatigan Building Contractors

Anthony Mitchell – ISG

Patrick Phillips – Durkan Limited

Gerald Ward – Bennett Construction Ltd

Primary education

Laura Allison – Morgan Sindall

Mike Castle – Knights Brown

Mark McElwee – Morgan Sindall

Michael Pyatt – Morgan Sindall

Stephen Sear – Morgan Sindall Construction

Thomas Prince – Willmott Dixon Construction

Massimiliano Crea – MID Group

Schools

John Blundell – T J Evers

Andrew Miles – Kier Construction

Daniel Morrish – Morgan Sindall

Mark Prince – Eric Wright Construction

Graham Thompson – Willmott Dixon

Higher education

Neil Adams – Willmott Dixon Interiors

David Clarke – Wates Construction

Frank Connolly – Mace Ltd

Anthony Cooper – Interserve Construction

Karl Crisp – Willmott Dixon Construction Ltd

Glyn Jones – Willmott Dixon

Lee Mullett – Willmott Dixon Construction (Midlands)

Adam Price – Beard

Ian Rainbow – BAM Construct UK

Lee Wayper – Sir Robert McAlpine Ltd

Richard White – ISG Construction Ltd

Leisure

Jamie Beard – Willmott Dixon Construction

Theresa McErlean – Heron Bros

Danni Oliveira – VINCI Construction UK

Jonathan Roberts – VINCI Construction UK

Nick Stoyles – Willmott Dixon Construction

Paul Turner – VINCI Construction UK

Offices

Kevin English – Lendlease

Paul Epton – Robertson Construction Central East

Richard Kirkpatrick – Skanska

Daniel Miller – Wates Construction Ltd

Ian Rowe – Oakmont Construction Limited

Craig Stokes – Laing O’Rourke

Public and infrastructure

Kevin Alden – Sir Robert McAlpine Ltd

Kristian Cartwright – Willmott Dixon

Paul Clarke – Willmott Dixon

Brian Hanlon – Willmott Dixon Construction Ltd

Russ Parks – Willmott Dixon Construction Ltd

John Stedman – Morgan Sindall Construction and Infrastructure Ltd

Simon Whittingham – Willmott Dixon Construction

Healthcare

Matt Gavin – Kier Construction

Tom Millard – Willmott Dixon Construction

Lewis Blake – Willmott Dixon Interiors

Robert Palmer – Kier Regional Building London and South East

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madscientistjournal · 6 years ago

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The Essence of Sprout

An essay by Professor Caldwell Mook, as told to Nick Morrish Art by Leigh Legler

It is not often that I agree to become personally involved in one of the scientific experiments that I am investigating. Generally, I prefer to observe and deride from a safe distance. However, Doctor Felix Happensnapper’s research into sensory enhancement intrigued me greatly.

Many years ago, as a callow youth living in rural England, I was persuaded to play in a village cricket match. I was allocated a fielding position close to the batsman; a position with the apt name of “silly mid-off.” After a while, I made the mistake of concentrating on a problem of mental calculus, rather than the game in progress. It was the turn of the rival team’s captain to bat. In response to some heckling from the crowd, he swung energetically at the ball which promptly struck me hard on the bridge of the nose.

Interestingly, before I passed out, I clearly recall being able to calculate the velocity and vector of the offending projectile with considerable accuracy.

When I came round, I had lost a large amount of blood and much of my sense of smell. My body efficiently replaced the missing blood cells, but my olfactory nerves were never the same again. I consider this to be a gross design flaw and were it possible, I would certainly have complained to the manufacturer.

Since this unfortunate incident, I have been unable to discern anything but the most pungent aromas and the strongest tastes. Over the last year, I have compensated for this by dining extensively on Goat Vindaloo, a fiery curry dish from south-east India, which even my acquaintances from the Indian sub-continent consider uncomfortably hot.

As much as I enjoy the sensory experience, my new diet has put something of a dampener on my social life, as the after-effects can put be somewhat off-putting to those with a normal sense of smell. I had been searching for a more convenient solution to my problem, so when I heard of Doctor Happensnapper’s work, I put aside my usual skepticism and offered myself as a subject for his experiments.

“We have developed efficient hearing aids, so why not scent aids, taste aids, or even touch aids?” he asked when we met at his Hampshire laboratory.

Although housed in a Victorian Gothic building studded with sinister-looking pinnacles and gloomy towers, the laboratory itself was perfectly clean and modern. I understand that the myriad spider’s webs in the foyer are merely there for effect.

“As you can see, I have been experimenting with a series of sprays, gels, injections, and electrical shock therapies to both enhance and degrade the efficacy of the sensory nerves.”

I am aware that electrical shock treatment is now considered the gold standard amongst para-rational medical practitioners such as Doctor Happensnapper. However, I suggested we begin with more conventional treatments, since their effects are usually temporary and are less likely to cause scarring or memory loss.

The doctor began by offering me a patent nasal spray which he said would fortify my damaged olfactory nerves. I tried it, and within a few minutes, I was able to detect the scent of new mown grass drifting in through an open window. I was delighted by this result and congratulated Doctor Happensnapper on his formulation.

Gradually, I began to detect more smells, both pleasant and unpleasant. The intensity of the experience increased exponentially, and I soon became aware of a strong odor of curry exuding from my skin.

I had for some time wondered if my personal hygiene was suffering due to my poor sense of smell, and I now had considerable evidence to support this hypothesis. I asked his assistant, Nurse Mundy, a large bearded gentleman with little discernable bedside manner, if there was a shower I could use. I followed his directions, but as soon as I entered the bathroom, I was overcome by the stench of chemicals, air fresheners, and drains and immediately passed out.

I awoke some hours later on a hospital bed. Doctor Happensnapper did not appear unduly concerned but made notes on my condition and agreed to use a lower dose next time. He suggested we move on to the sense of taste which, I found, had also diminished as a result of the accident.

Nurse Bundy applied several unpleasant tasting droplets on my tongue to collate what is commonly known as a taste map. From this, the doctor was able to deduce which areas required the most enhancement and which were working satisfactorily.

He produced a viscous gel, which the nurse spread over the relevant parts of my tongue. I suffered a certain gagging reflex, but the taste was not unduly unpleasant. Nurse Bundy then fed me small pieces of food, such as broccoli, chocolate, anchovies, and so on.

My experience of each flavor was indeed heightened, and my opinion of the doctor’s methods was somewhat restored. However, when the nurse returned an hour later to repeat the tests, I found that everything now unaccountably tasted of Brussels sprouts. Now I am not one of these people who detest the noble sprout, but the intensity of its bitter flavor soon overcame all others.

My distress was clearly evident to Nurse Bundy, who attempted to remove the gel with an electric toothbrush. Unfortunately, the spearmint flavoring of the anti-bacterial rinsing fluid only exacerbated the all-encompassing sprout sensation. Overwhelmed by this vegetable excess, my brain again decided that a brief period of unconsciousness was required.

However, when the nurse returned an hour later to repeat the tests, I found that everything now unaccountably tasted of Brussels sprouts.

Once I had recovered, Doctor Happensnapper returned, appearing even more excited by the results of this latest experiment.

“Do you not see what this means? If we can enhance the sprout reaction in a subject who has no aversion to its taste, then surely we can also reduce it in those to whom it is a complete anathema. The boon to mankind and also to my research budget could be immense. Imagine what the Brussels Sprout Growers Association would say if I could make their product universally acceptable.”

I consented to assisting him in his continued research, but only after a suitable fee was agreed, the amount of which I am not prepared to disclose. I was introduced to Doctor Happensnapper’s wife, Ingrid, a tall, emaciated-looking woman with disconcertingly hairy hands and a limited command of the English language. She distilled the essence of sprout from a large cast iron pot filled with the vegetable, which she had been stewing over an open fire.

Once the potion was ready, she wasted no time before passing it Nurse Bundy with a nervous wink and a grimace. The nurse began by applying a high-concentration Emla cream to my sprout taste receptors. He then administered several drops of essence of sprout to each side of my tongue and waited for it to take effect. The inhibiting cream certainly reduced the adverse reactions noted previously but on the left side only.

“I see you are uni-sprout intolerant,” explained the doctor. “You have a tongue asymmetry, which means that half your taste buds are more sensitive than the other half.”

He advised Nurse Bundy to double the strength of the cream applied to the right-hand side. Although I could now no longer feel large parts of my tongue, or my face for that matter, it did even out the taste sensations. However, I did not find essence of sprout any more pleasing to my taste.

It reminded me rather of the cabbage soup my grandmother used to make. Needless to say, visits to her house are not a fond childhood memory. As sad as I was to hear of her unfortunate accident with my nephew’s skateboard and the London Underground train, there was a part of me that was inappropriately overjoyed that I would never have to taste her cooking ever again.

I concluded that Doctor Happensnapper’s scheme to extort money from sprout farmers was doomed to failure. However, I decided not to mention this to him until I was certain his fee was securely in my bank account. I consider that his sense enhancement experiments may one day bear fruit, but I shall wait until his techniques are at a more mature stage of development before subjecting myself to Nurse Bundy’s tender ministrations once more.

On a positive note, my sense of taste remains somewhat improved. I have relinquished my Indian curry diet and have recently developed a fondness for Thai cuisine. I look forward to the renewal of various social relationships which have languished in recent months under the miasma of Goat Vindaloo.

Since the conclusion of my investigation, however, I have been unable to so much as look at a Brussels sprout without shuddering. In the autumn, I am seriously considering taking a sabbatical somewhere in the far east until Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other sprout-related festivities are safely in the past.

Professor Caldwell Mook holds the Mithering Chair of General Negativity at the University of Leeds, England. He specializes in pre-emptive risk analyses for technology that has yet to be invented. Professor Mook regularly offers discouragement and derision to scientists and engineers around the world.

Nick Morrish is an increasingly mad engineer who lives in Hampshire, England, where his eccentricities are considered quite normal. During a long and futile career, he has worked for a number of frankly certifiable, multinational companies. He clings to the last vestiges of sanity by writing serious and truthful stories about the nature of existence. Since no one else seems to observe truth in quite the same way, his work is often mistaken for satire or fantasy.

Leigh’s professional title is “illustrator,” but that’s just a nice word for “monster-maker,” in this case. More information about them can be found at http://leighlegler.carbonmade.com/.

The Essence of Sprout was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

#Caldwell Mook #Food Science #Leigh Legler #Nick Morrish #Pharmacology

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mejumba · 6 years ago

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Aircraft Engineering : How Boeing Almost Built A 777 With Three Engines : One of the most successful aircraft in the history of aviation the B777 still fights its corner after 25 years. But in development the revolutionary plane was slated to have three not two engines. A triple-jet B777 may not have been as popular as the twin-jet variant. Photo: Nick Morrish/British Airways The B777 and the B747 are two of Boeings historic successes. The introduction of the 747 in 1969 was a game changer. The cost of mass travel

#Aircraft Engineering Yvan Ngassa

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frequentflyeritalia · 6 years ago

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Il conto collettivo di British Airways Executive Club

Cos’è un conto collettivo?

Il conto collettivo (Household Account nella versione originale) è un metodo, offerto da British Airways per i clienti iscritti al programma Executive Club che permette di unire fra loro i punti Avios accumulati da più persone, tutte unite nello stesso conto collettivo.

Questo naturalmente offre un vantaggio immediato, che è quello di avere a disposizione un numero…

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#Avios #British Airways - Executive Club #One World

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goldcoastdreams · 6 years ago

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AFL Draft: Talent, tactics and team-building take precedence as elite class of footballers find homes

Updated November 23, 2018 14:01:14

Photo: Sam Walsh carries the hopes of Carlton fans after he was selected with the first pick in the 2018 AFL Draft. (AAP: Daniel Pockett) Related Story: Gun midfielder or cornerstone forward? How to make effective use of an early draft pick Map: Melbourne 3000 The buzz is real around the top-end talent at this year's AFL Draft. Sam Walsh took the headlines at pick one for Carlton, but intriguing storylines on the players, and how and why they were picked were spread throughout the opening round of selections. SuperDraft II A number of teams had maximised their presence at this year's draft, because a range of pundits and analysts had tagged the talent pool for 2018 as the best since the so-called "SuperDraft" in 2001, that brought the likes of Gary Ablett Jr, Luke Hodge, Chris Judd, Steve Johnson and Dane Swan and many others into the league. The big question was whether Carlton would go the safe route and select Victorian midfielder Walsh, or take a risk on potential bigger returns from South Australian key position player Jack Lukosius. In the end, the Blues opted for Walsh who starred for Geelong Falcons in the TAC Cup and was the player of the Under-18 national titles for Vic Metro, winning the Larke Medal averaging nearly 30 disposals a game. Their move was an attempt to help pick up some slack in the Carlton midfield from gun on-baller Patrick Cripps. The Blues have had a raft of top-10 picks in recent years given their poor results and trading strategy to focus on the draft. In fact this was Carlton's fifth number one selection in 14 years. Given that Carlton finished with the wooden spoon again in 2018, Walsh's arrival is not going to lift Brendan Bolton's men into the stratosphere but as he joins the likes of Cripps, Paddy Dow, and Sam Docherty [returning from a knee injury] the Blues are beginning to fill in pieces of the puzzle in the middle of the ground. Carlton recent top picksSam Walsh (Midfielder) pick 1, 2018Paddy Dow (Midfielder) pick 3, 2017Lochie O'Brien (Midfielder) pick 10, 2017Sam Petrevski-Seton (Midfield / Forward) pick 6, 2016Jacob Weitering (Defender) pick 1, 2015Harry McKay (Forward) pick 10, 2015Charlie Curnow (Midfielder) pick 12, 2015 If there was any doubt where Carlton's focus was this year, it was erased late in the round when the Blues traded up to get pick 19 they used it to take Liam Stocker, the ball-winning Sandringham midfielder who won the Morrish Medal as best player in the TAC Cup. That they managed to grab the man who was predicted to go to Richmond may have sweetened the pot. The deal could be big for Adelaide, with the teams swapping round one picks for 2019. If the Blues stay anchored to the bottom, the Crows could have pick one next year. The spotlight next landed on Gold Coast, one of a handful of clubs destined to be major players in round one. Suns settle on SA star schoolmates

Photo: Forward Jack Lukosius is headed to the Gold Coast to join a group of South Australian recruits at the Suns. (AAP: Andy Brownbill) Aside from the Blues, there was the Suns with three selections in the top six, Port Adelaide with three in the first 18 and GWS also with three in the first round. The latter three clubs had to respond through the draft to the departure of key personnel in the trading period, such as Tom Lynch, Steven May and Aaron Hall for the Suns; Chad Wingard, Jared Polec and Jasper Pittard for the Power; and Dylan Shiel, Rory Lobb and Tom Scully for the Giants. External Link:Gold Coast Suns tweet: Meet the three newest SUNS #AFLDraft Given Carlton's call, there was little surprise when the Suns used picks two and three to select South Australian pair Lukosius and Izak Rankine. Comparisons at draft time are particularly odious, but Lukosius has been likened as a footballing type to former St Kilda great Nick Riewoldt, while Rankine's range of skills including speed, agility, reading the play and the ability to kick exciting goals have some looking back to the Crows' Andrew McLeod. The nexus between the pair is great as Lukosius and Rankine both played in South Australia's national under-18 title win, but more than that they shared a state schoolboy title at Henley High in Adelaide. We've seen this line of thinking before with the Suns. In 2016, the Suns had four picks in the top 10, and they chose Ben Ainsworth and Jack Scrimshaw from Sandringham, plus Will Brodie from the Murray Bushrangers along with Academy player Jack Bowes three players who knew each other well going into the AFL Draft, with the hope they would stay together and avoid the go-home factor. Scrimshaw struggled and was traded to Hawthorn at the end of 2018, but the other pair remain. External Link:AFL tweet: The top 10 selections in the 2018 AFL Draft #AFLDraft The Suns went outside South Australia for their third pick of the night, choosing Sandringham's Ben King, whose marking and scoring abilities could provide help for Gold Coast at both ends of the ground. King's twin brother Max who some were tipping earlier in the year to go at number one before an ACL injury went at pick four to St Kilda. The SA strategy continued for the Suns, with half-back Jez McLennan [another member of the under-18 champion side] selected with pick 23 before the start of round two after a pick swap with West Coast. Only time will tell whether the Suns have a) chosen well and b) can hang on to this new elite group but clearly, given the problems at Carrara in recent years, there will be a lot riding on the success or failure of this year's decisions. The Power went for Connor Rozee with pick five, a midfielder who shone at half-back for North Adelaide late in the season in the Roosters' run to the SANFL premiership. His burst speed second in the 20m sprint at the Combine will be handy in Polec's absence. Port Adelaide needed help in defence, with the loss of Pittard and Jack Hombsch. But the Power opted instead to focus on the middle of the ground. Aside from Rozee, they took Western Jets midfielder Zak Butters with pick 12, and Gippsland Power skipper and midfielder Xavier Duursma with pick 18. Swans game the new draft well The AFL had tweaked the process for this year's draft, with the ability for clubs to live-trade picks for the first time. The Sydney Swans were quickly testing the operation of the new system, and they used it to their advantage to steal a march on the rest of the league. External Link:Sydney Swans tweet: Pick number 10, we have matched GWS and we welcome Sydney Swans Academy player Nick Blakey! #ProudlySydney #AFLDraft Mobile, tall forward Nick Blakey could have been a father-son pick for North Melbourne or Brisbane through his father John, but opted to go with the Swans, where his dad is now an assistant coach. Sydney put together a series of trades with West Coast to give themselves the draft points to take Blakey with three picks in the 30s, matching a bid from GWS at pick 10. Not only that, but the Swans also by effectively exchanging their 2019 second-round pick for the Eagles' third-rounder next year kept themselves in this year's second round by getting West Coast's pick 25 for 2018, meaning they avoided putting all their eggs in the Blakey basket. This was a definite win for the Swans, who have made a habit of securing top talent through the academy system with the likes of Isaac Heeney and Callum Mills. He is strong and tall, a good left-foot kick, a good lead and mark. The Swans have hinted they will move the likes of Mills and Jake Lloyd from defence into the midfield, leaving Blakey a likely third forward for Sydney with Lance Franklin and new acquisition Dan Menzel. Good draft for Tassie In the last 20 AFL Drafts, a total of four Tasmanian players had been taken in the top 10. Last night there were two. Adelaide tried and failed to pry Academy player Tarryn Thomas from North Launceston who had the joint-best kicking test at the Draft Combine away from North Melbourne, who matched the bid at pick eight with points from a series of draft selections. Then the Crows went again with pick nine and chose versatile Launceston midfielder Chayce Jones, who can also play forward or back. Adelaide later took small forward Ned McHenry for his elite endurance-running ability and forward pressure. GWS did some solid business, with the strong kicking Jye Caldwell from Bendigo and taller midfielder Jackson Hately from Central Districts in the SANFL the latter another member of the victorious SA under-18 team. They also came in at the end of the round for Vic Metro under-18 skipper Xavier O'Halloran, who had a great Draft Combine with solid results for both speed and endurance. Some bargains outside the top 10 The combination of live trading and the willingness of teams to bid for other sides' Academy selections meant that some fancied players dropped further than expected in the order. Geelong was able to grab Claremont defender Jordan Clark at pick 15. External Link:Geelong Cats tweet: Howzat for a pick? A former international-level cricketer and selection 15 in this year's draft. #StandProud #WeAreGeelong Clark won All-Australian at the Under-18 championships at half-back where he averaged 20 disposals and six rebound 50s, and played senior football for Claremont in the WAFL. Before committing to football, Clark was a solid prospect as a cricketer, taking five wickets (including a hat-trick) for the Australian under-16 team against Pakistan under-16s in January 2017. He has stamina (he was eighth in the 2km time trial at the Combine), but is not ultra-speedy. Collingwood secured highly rated Academy rebounding half-back Isaac Quaynor with pick 13. The Oakleigh Chargers/Vic Metro defender has decent speed and good disposal he also was the only person to get a perfect score in the goal-kicking test at the Draft Combine. In other moves the Western Bulldogs took Sandringham midfielder Bailey Smith with pick seven, and the Lions came away with big-bodied midfielder Ely Smith (Murray Bushrangers) with pick 21. The Crows selected Vic Country and Geelong Falcons player Ned McHenry [pick 16], who can play midfield or small forward. Richmond ended up with tall midfielder Riley Collier-Dawkins (pick 20) from the Oakleigh Chargers and Vic Metro, while the premiers West Coast did not have a pick in the opening round, and will kick off round two today. What does SuperDraft II have to match?

Photo: The 2001 AFL Draft class has won seven Brownlow Medals, including two each to Chris Judd (L) and Gary Ablett. (AAP: David Crosling) Obviously, picking the draftees who will succeed is largely a matter of gauging potential who can step up and show more than they did at age level and partially a leap of faith in hoping that the most exciting under-18s can keep going, and maybe go on to replicate a rookie season like Collingwood's Jaidyn Stephenson in 2018 with 38 goals in 26 games. Looking at the top 10, and a sizeable portion of the top 20, the potential for a group rivalling 2001 is clearly there. Even SuperDraft I, as good as it was, had the odd miss however a look at the list also shows some superb players dropping very low as well. There was Geelong's father-son selection Gary Ablett Jr at pick 40 (under rules much more lenient than today's for the cost to nominating clubs), there was Jarrad Waite at pick 46 who went on to kick 377 goals in play 244 games for North Melbourne and Carlton. Then there was the Magpies' Dane Swan at pick 58, and of course Western Bulldogs defender Brian Lake at pick 71, who eventually won three flags with Hawthorn. Will there be some gems hidden deep in the next 50 picks made on day two? Who knows. But the buzz from regular draft-watchers about this year's selection group means that if nothing else, fans have some exciting times ahead watching this talent establish just how far they can go in the AFL. The hits from SuperDraft I (2001)Topics:australian-football-league,sport,melbourne-3000,vic,sydney-2000,nsw,brisbane-4000,carrara-4211,qld,adelaide-5000,sa,hobart-7000,tas,perth-6000,wa,australia First posted November 23, 2018 13:12:36 http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-11-23/afl-superdraft-ii-where-did-the-class-go/10521240

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