#Nigel Incubator-Jones

[chernobog13]

COMING SOON ON ESPN...

...the 127th Annual Upper-Class Twit Of The Year Contest!

Rumor has it this event will be added to the Paris Summer Olympics this year.

[endorphinmachine]

nigel incubator jones, vivian smith-smyth-smithe, simon zinc trumpet harris, and others

[retrodrome]

[davy-jones-lock3r]

tag urself i’m Nigel Incubator-Jones

[greginspace-blog]

Competitor Nigel Incubator Jones in the Upper-Class Twit of the Year Show.

[mizapiza]

Nigel Incubator Jones

[mastcomm]

The Pythons Remember Terry Jones, a ‘Renaissance Comedian’

When Terry Jones went to work, he wore the robes of a Spanish inquisitor, the jacket of a French waiter and the business attire of a man selling crunchy frogs.

And long after he and the other members of Monty Python set off on separate paths, he took on new roles — as a director and historian, among others. After his death on Tuesday, many prominent admirers recalled how he had touched their lives.

“Farewell, Terry Jones. The great foot has come down to stamp on you,” wrote the actor Stephen Fry on Twitter, alluding to the cartoon foot that crashed through many Monty Python sketches. “My god what pleasure you gave, what untrammelled joy and delight.”

The director Edgar Wright began to list some of Mr. Jones’s most famous characters, like one of the Hell’s Grannies and Nigel Incubator-Jones.

The comedian John Oliver called him “the absolute best.” The actor Mark Gatiss said he was “a cornerstone of my growing up.”

Many Python fans know the lines he delivered by heart, from the sales pitch of a crunchy frog salesman (“only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed”) to a mother’s scorn after her son is mistaken for divine (“He’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy”).

In his post-Python career, Mr. Jones worked on documentaries about the Middle Ages, screenwriting, children’s books and a Norse saga of his own, but it was the legacy of Monty Python that dominated tributes to him.

The living Pythons quickly spoke out after hearing the news of Mr. Jones’s death, including his close friend and frequent writing partner, Michael Palin.

“He was far more than one of the funniest writer-performers of his generation,” Mr. Palin told Britain’s Press Association. “He was the complete Renaissance comedian: writer, director, presenter, historian, brilliant children’s author, and the warmest, most wonderful company you could wish to have.”

Another former Python, Eric Idle, wrote on Twitter: “I loved him the moment I saw him onstage at the Edinburgh Festival in 1963. So many laughs, moments of total hilarity onstage and off we have all shared with him.”

Mr. Jones announced in 2016 that he had primary progressive aphasia, a neurological disease, and Mr. Idle seemed to allude to the condition. “It’s too sad if you knew him,” he said, “but if you didn’t you will always smile at the many wonderfully funny moments he gave us.”

The American member, Terry Gilliam, wrote on Twitter that Mr. Jones “was someone totally consumed with life” and “a brilliant, constantly questioning, iconoclastic, righteously argumentative and angry but outrageously funny and generous and kind human being.”

John Cleese, speaking to BBC Radio on Wednesday, said that Mr. Jones brought an “endless energy and enthusiasm” to everything he did. “He got up one day when we were shooting on the south coast,” Mr. Cleese said, “and he got excited about how green the grass was.”

He also had a confidence — to direct, to argue, to take on something new — that Mr. Cleese said he envied. “‘Life of Brian’ was his masterpiece,” he said, referring to the Python film that Mr. Jones directed alone. On Twitter, he called it “perfection.”

Mr. Jones had several parts in the film, including as a hermit whose vow of silence is cut short by a stubbed toe, and as Brian’s mother, who struggles to dismiss a crowd of adorers with a simple message: “Shove off.”

But Mr. Cleese said he would remember Mr. Jones as Mr. Creosote, a character whose titanic appetite makes him swell like a balloon. (Mr. Jones also directed the sketch, which ends poorly for his character.) “I shall think of him exploding,” Mr. Cleese said.

Though Mr. Jones and Mr. Cleese did not often write together, they shared some of the group’s most memorable sketches, like one in which Mr. Jones plays a confectioner who is delighted to sell chocolate-covered frogs.

Mr. Cleese, playing a policeman, is appalled. “Don’t you even take the bones out?”

So is Mr. Jones’s businessman. “If we took the bones out it wouldn’t be crunchy, would it?”

Mr. Jones also brought a distinct historical sensibility to the group, which was reflected in the sketches he wrote — and his future as a scholar of Chaucer and the Middle Ages. He wrote one sketch about Elizabethan pornography smugglers, and another, set during World War II, in which a joke is so funny it becomes a superweapon, banned by the Geneva Conventions, and even deadlier in German.

His style of writing — long, with visual flair and often wildly over the top — was wholly his own, Mr. Cleese said. “That was not something that any of the rest of us could do.”

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/entertainment/the-pythons-remember-terry-jones-a-renaissance-comedian/

[gyrlversion]

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: The Tory Twit of the Year race takes to the field

Unless Mother Theresa decides to come back from the dead by doing a Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction and emerges from the bathwater wielding a carving knife, we’re in for a Tory leadership contest.

Nothing can, of course, be ruled out after the past week of complete madness at Westminster. May has so far only said she’ll go if her risible ‘deal’ passes the Commons.

And the chances of that happening still seem as remote as ever. So could she, in the event of it being rejected again refuse to stand down after all?

Stranger things have happened. She hasn’t kept the promises she made to the electorate in the Tory manifesto, so why should she feel obliged to follow through on assurances she has given to her own MPs?

Theresa May faces a crucial third and final vote on her Brexit deal on Friday after it was hurriedly arranged on Thursday

Sajid Javid (left) in Downing Street yesterday. Rumours are growing of a joint ticket that would see him enter Number 10 with Michael Gove (right, today in Downing Street) as Chancellor 

Meanwhile, the runners and riders to succeed her are under starter’s orders.

Bookies are laying odds and the tipsters are making their selections. Michael Gove is reported to be teaming up with Sajid Javid, aka Albert R. N., on a ‘dream ticket’ to stop Boris. There are at least a dozen MPs throwing their rings into the hat — and more are considering putting their names forward.

One or two may be vaguely familiar, but the rest aren’t even legends in their own homes. Still, when 17.4 million people backed Leave in the 2016 referendum, they had no idea that they were voting to put Theresa May in Downing Street. Yet after Call Me Dave resigned, all sorts of obscure Tories were being mooted for the top job.

There was a strand of opinion which even claimed that the Brexit vote really meant: what we want is Stephen Crabb.

Then Welsh Secretary, or something, Crabb was briefly touted as the unity candidate, even though he had backed Remain and virtually no one had ever heard of him.

    More from Richard Littlejohn for the Daily Mail…

Sadly, we’ll never know if he could have been the nation’s saviour, since shortly after announcing his candidature it was revealed that he’d been sending sexually explicit text messages to a 19-year-old woman he’d interviewed for a job. Collapse of leadership campaign.

Oh, dear. How sad. Never mind.

Anyway, if all goes according to plan, the starting pistol this time will be fired on May 22 and the whole business could take up to six weeks.

How the heart sinks. Six whole weeks of wall-to-wall Tory leadership coverage dominating the news. Six weeks of intense campaigning, six weeks of speeches, six weeks of aides and bloggers scouring social media for a ‘gaffe’ one of the hopefuls may have committed in the dim and distant past.

Spare us, please, the televised candidates’ debates.

If they must face off against each other on TV, stick them on Pointless or The Chase.

I’d much rather hear them being quizzed by Bradley Walsh or Alexander Armstrong than any of the usual political insiders.

Maybe they could have a special Pointless picture board, featuring all the Tory leadership candidates. Apart from Boris, how many members of the public could put a name to any of them? There would be plenty of pointless answers to choose from.

Here’s another plan. Instead of dragging the process out for six weeks, why not just hold a one-day event to pick a winner?

‘It’s going to be like Ben-Hur — there’ll be a cast of thousands,’ a Tory MP told the Mail. Now there’s a good idea.

Make them all take part in a Ben-Hur-style chariot race, provided the chariots were all fitted with rotating blades and the competitors were kitted out with swords, maces, grappling hooks and nets.

Maybe let loose a few wild animals — lions, tigers, that kind of thing — to make it more interesting. There’d be no shortage of punters, especially if they were guaranteed plenty of claret and severed limbs. Mind you, attractive as the idea sounds, I can’t see elf’n’safety putting up with it. So I guess we’ll have to look for a more gentle alternative.

I’ve got it. They could model the leadership on Monty Python’s famous Upper Class Twit Of The Year sketch. Most of the front-runners would qualify, despite doing their best to burnish proletarian credentials.

Jacob Rees-Mogg wouldn’t have looked out of place in the original, alongside Nigel Incubator-Jones, Gervaise Brook-Hampster and Oliver St John-Mollusc, like Rees-Mogg an old Etonian. His father was a Cabinet Minister and his mother won The Derby. So roll up for the Tory Twit Of The Year contest. Your commentator is Clare Balding, obviously.

‘And they’re lining up for the first race. Let’s talk you through the field. There’s Jacob Rees-Mogg, a hedge fund manager. He’s brought his son along with him. And his nanny, who is going to push him round the course in a vintage Silver Cross Balmoral pram, bought in 1952.

‘Alongside Jacob, today’s favourite, Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, popularly known as Bonking Boris, another Etonian with a reputation for chasing the fillies.

Boris Johnson remains popular with Tory grassroots who choose the party leader in a final head-to-head vote. But he faces a battle getting through the opening rounds of a leadership contest, which are determined by votes from less enamored MPs

‘Jeremy Hunt, a former head boy at Charterhouse, eldest son of an admiral, is heavily fancied, as is Esther McVey — especially by Boris.

‘Amber Rudd, Cheltenham Ladies’ College, represents the Remain stable, and Matt Hancock wears the colours of the private King’s School, Chester.

Bringing up the rear, Michael Gove, from the fee-paying Robert Gordon’s College, Aberdeen, like most of the rest of the field trained at Oxford.

‘And they’re off. And Boris immediately makes a beeline for Esther, but he’s pursued by Gove, who seems intent on stabbing Boris in the back.

‘They round the first bend, manage to avoid the tricky Customs Union fence, but — oh, my goodness — Amber, Matt and Jeremy have all fallen at the Single Market. Jacob has refused and nanny is pushing him back to the start.

‘As they approach No Deal, Boris and Gove are neck-and-neck, but Gove is giving it the whip and trying to force Boris into the rails.

‘They’re safely over, but now for the Backstop, which has unseated dozens of jockeys on this notoriously difficult course.

‘I can’t watch. This is turning into a bloodbath. Boris is in the lead by a short head, but as they reach the final straight, Gove rugby tackles Boris and wrestles him to the ground before he can cross the finishing line.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve never seen anything quite like this. It’s like watching Ben-Hur…’

The post RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: The Tory Twit of the Year race takes to the field appeared first on Gyrlversion.

from WordPress https://www.gyrlversion.net/richard-littlejohn-the-tory-twit-of-the-year-race-takes-to-the-field/

[flauntpage]

Eagles Film Study: “Nah Bro, Jalen Mills Sux”

By now you know that Jalen Mills is the fall guy for the entirety of the Philadelphia Eagles’ defensive struggles.

And when you try to analyze his performances in a fair way or even just approach any Mills-related hot take with a shred of critical thinking or non-bias, you get the following response:

“Nah bro, Jalen Mills sux.”

This isn’t to say I’m a Jalen Mills apologist, because I’m not. He hasn’t been very good this season.

But nobody on this defense is lighting the world on fire, which I think most Eagles fans are smart enough to recognize. Jim Schwartz hasn’t been drawing up the best schemes or using his personnel in the best possible way. You’ve got Rodney McLeod on the shelf with a rookie cornerback playing safety for the first time his career. Tim Jernigan and Vinny Curry and Patrick Robinson and Beau Allen appeared to be bigger losses than we thought.

Still, we generally channel all of our distrust into one singular focus, which is Jalen Mills, and I can’t say it’s undeserved. When you get beat for a 68-yard completion, it looks bad. It looks worse than Ronald Darby missing a tackle and allowing a three-yard gain to become an eight-yard gain. A pass interference penalty on a 30-yard attempt looks worse than a 15-yard roughing the passer flag.

I’ve always kind of leaned on that assertion when evaluating Mills, the idea that his mistakes are often MORE DAMAGING than the mistakes of others. It doesn’t mean he’s necessarily committing a HIGHER VOLUME of mistakes, but they stick out in a way that is much more noticeable than, say, when a defensive end fails to seal the corner or when an outside linebacker blitzes and simply doesn’t reach the quarterback.

All of that said, I figured the best way to approach this video study on a short week would be to lay out literally every single play where Mills was targeted or made a tackle in the Minnesota loss, with the goal of adding context to his performance instead of just saying:

“Nah bro, Jalen Mills sux.”

Play 1

This was an seven yard gain on 2nd and 5 during the Vikings’ opening drive.

The Eagles are in a form of cover 3 here with a single high safety, and both Mills and Darby are 10 yards off their receivers as Kirk Cousins throws a really nice flat pass to allow Stefon Diggs to pick up a first down with a burst forward in space.

You also see Avonte Maddox creeping up there in what looks like a free safety blitz.

This is pretty typical for a cover 3 look, with Mills, Darby, and the high safety each responsible for one third of the field. Only one corner is going to get safety help over the top if they get beat.

Play 2

This was on the same drive, a little pre-snap motion and a swing pass to try to get Diggs into space again.

Mills and Sidney Jones both do a pretty good job here of holding their ground as Malcolm Jenkins narrows the angle, but Diggs has the speed to turn this into a five yard gain.

Nothing really to take away from this one. Mills has always been a pretty good tackler in these kinds of situations.

Play 3

Final play of the Vikings’ opening drive.

Good pass break up here by Mills, but there’s a bit of a stumble by Roc Thomas that allows him to step in and bat the ball down.

Thing is, Mills is only 3-4 yards off Thomas at the line of scrimmage, playing the first down line on a 3rd and short. He gets his hands up and makes Thomas at least a little bit uncomfortable here.

One issue with Mills is that he rarely does anything disruptive at the line because he’s always playing soft coverage. I don’t know if that’s by design or what, but when you watch his film, he’s so much better in red zone and short yardage situations because the field shrinks and, well, he can’t get beat over the top. That leads me to believe that Mills has the skill set and physical tools to be a slot corner, yet he’s always giving cushion when the offense has room to work downfield.

If you drafted Sidney Jones to play on the outside, maybe… play him on the outside?

Play 4

I don’t have the all-22 film here because it’s only Tuesday (sorry), so I can’t see the safety, but it looks like another single-high scheme. Presumably the safety is focused on the strong side of the field with Adam Thielen, Diggs, and Kyle Rudolph.

So the Vikings just hit Laquon Treadwall on a short hitch and Mills closes the gap quickly to make the tackle. This preceded the Michael Bennett penalty, which then resulted in Kirk Cousins hitting Thielen in the corner for the touchdown (Darby was in coverage on that play).

Play 5

Here’s the big 68-yard gain.

Again they’re playing single-high safety with Avonte Maddox over the top. The Eagles blitz Nigel Bradham and Malcolm Jenkins and Cousins quickly gets rid of the ball to hit Thielen, who is 1v1 with Mills.

Honestly, it’s a really nice throw. Fletcher Cox is collapsing the pocket and Cousins knows he’s going to take a hit, but puts that ball right where it needs to be. Latavius Murray also lays a nice block on Jenkins to protect Cousins’ blind side.

So give Minnesota credit for executing here.

Mills, for whatever reason, is again 10 yards off his guy at the line of scrimmage. Darby and Jones are two yards off and they make contact with their receivers in an effort to be disruptive.

Photo evidence as the play develops:

No gap, no gap, and a really big gap.

Cousins literally has less than three seconds to get rid of this ball, and two of his guys have defenders up their butts while Mills is still way off Thielen. He doesn’t get totally waxed by the double move, but he’s still not close enough to make a play on the ball, Maddox misses a tackle, and Mills has to recover to save a touchdown.

Just ugly stuff all around. I really do not know why Mills is playing with a 10 yard cushion while two other corners are five yards off the line. I’d be interested in hearing him or Jim Schwartz explain whether this is scheme related or just incorrect positioning and/or technique.

Play 6

Remember how I said earlier that Mills was pretty good in short yardage and red zone situations? That’s been his strength this year, and he followed up the Thielen play by batting down the Vikings’ 2nd and goal pass on the same drive.

Pretty good rush by Brandon Graham on this play. Treadwell thinks Mills interferes with him, but that looks like pretty good timing to me.

Play 7

Not a big fan of the play call, but they went right at Mills again on 3rd and goal and tried to pick Sidney Jones. The pass is way too shallow, almost like an Andy Reid play call from back in the day.

Still, nice job by Jalen to read that, close the gap, and make a play on the ball. He had three of the Eagles’ four pass break-ups in this game.

Of course, this was the play where he got in Thielen’s face afterward then had to be directed off the field by Fletcher Cox, and rightfully so,

Again, it’s optics here. It doesn’t LOOK GOOD when you give up a 68 yard pass, make up for it in the red zone with a pair of PBUs, then begin jawing with the guy who originally roasted you. Jalen doesn’t do himself any favors with the fan base and media when he does that stuff, which adds to the negative feelings already incubating inside Philly brains.

But I think the overwhelming thing here is that he certainly is doing some good things out there. He’s been pretty solid on plays where he can be physical in goal line and short yardage situations. It makes me wonder why he isn’t up on the line or being disruptive early in routes, especially since he seems to become energized by contact and conflict. I also don’t think Jim Schwartz has been very inspirational in the way he deploys these guys, and the fact that you have a rookie corner playing safety is at least disconcerting, if not straight-up ridiculous.

People might read this and think I’m some Jalen Mills devotee, but the honest truth is that I’m just trying to look at the situation fairly instead of blurting out “nah bro, Jalen Mills sux.”

The post Eagles Film Study: “Nah Bro, Jalen Mills Sux” appeared first on Crossing Broad.

Eagles Film Study: “Nah Bro, Jalen Mills Sux” published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[chernobog13]

I'm surprised we haven't seen this contest on ESPN yet. Lord knows there are enough people in this country eligible to compete.