#Nonsensical Obsession (Yusuke)

[acoldsovereign]

tag drop.

[indzae-mayumi]

Missing Someone

(Nagi x Chigiri friendship fanfic. "Blue Lock" is by Kaneshiro Muneyuki, and illustrated by Nomura Yusuke)

Zantetsu was spouting something nonsense again as he adjusted his glasses, but Kiyora could not be bothered. After their game, the five of them (Zantetsu, Kiyora, Barou, Chigiri, and Nagi) were confined in quarters away from where Rin and his team were. Kiyora was so chill-faced he could not be bothered by the ways of his teammates. Therefore, Zantetsu pretending to be smart, Nagi and his lazy tendencies, Chigiri's obsession with his hair, or Barou's demanding ways was nothing to him. He'd just have to deal with them, after all. Besides, it was temporary.

But Barou was not Kiyora. He was already annoyed as it is that Chigiri and Nagi, who he had lived with for a longer time after Rin stole Isagi, had left their personal belongings scattered all over their room again. And not to mention, Zantetsu talking about Nagi's tendencies while using idiomatic expressions the wrong way was making Barou angrier than he already was. He wondered when the Second Selection would end so he would not have to live in a pigsty with teammates who could not be bothered with cleaning up. If only Rin stole Nagi instead of Isagi...

And while Maid Barou was busy nagging while picking up clothes for laundry, Nagi and Chigiri were lying next to each other, watching on Nagi's phone some previous World Cup games when Messi played against Noel Noa.

"You have enough points now, Chigiri," Nagi said. "Maybe you could exchange it with your phone for a day."

Chigiri smiled in embarrassment. "Yeah, never thought of using my points at all. I could have gotten my phone before and exchanged numbers with Kunigami."

"Yeah, too bad," Nagi replied. "I wish you'd get your phone so we'd exchange numbers."

"Do you have a social media account?"

"Can't be bothered," Nagi replied. "It's Reo handling my socials because he has a soc-med manager to do that."

"I can understand Reo though. His social media is handled by a manager because he's a local celebrity in his father's corporation, so his image should be handled well. But why would he let a manager handle your account?" Chigiri asked.

"I really don't know," Nagi said as he looked for another Noel Noa video to watch. "Maybe Reo just handled mine by himself. It's bothersome."

"Do you know your password, at least?" Chigiri asked. "So that we can be friends."

"No. Reo does it all," Nagi said, drawling. "What's your number? So I can send you a message and you can save my number afterwards."

"I'm glad you're not lazy with that, at least," Chigiri said before telling Nagi his mobile phone number.

After that, Nagi sent Chigiri a text message, informing the other that it's him.

"I should take out my phone later," Chigiri said. "I should learn how to exchange my points for perks."

"You really should," Nagi said. "Reo did that back in the First Selection, and all of us had comfortable beds for the duration of that ordeal."

"Aww, lucky you," Chigiri said. "We all had to lie down on the floor during that time."

And in the background, Barou was screaming at Zantetsu that instead of spouting off nonsense, they all should study their English lessons just like what Kiyora was currently doing.

"Ha, what's the point? I thought I would not be studying here in Blue Lock," Nagi groaned to Chigiri.

"All right! I love English. I could tutor you if you want," Chigiri cheered as he replied to Nagi.

"English is not my strong point, but if I have plans of becoming the strongest striker in the world, English would come in handy," Nagi said, still looking at his phone.

At the background, Zantetsu was arguing with Barou. Chigiri rolled his eyeballs before stating about the bespectacled guy, "I really can't believe he's that nonsensical."

"Yeah. Interchanged his shirt and pants, and misunderstood the rules for the dorm tag game," Nagi said as he pressed play on the video. "Reo sometimes corrected him, while I gave up doing so."

Sure, the dorm tag game was scary, and Chigiri wanted to not be the "it" because he was afraid to run at that time. But Zantetsu not understanding the rules of the game was hilarious in itself. So Chigiri laughed. But he realized Nagi was staring at him.

"Nani? Is something on my face?"

"I will not wonder why you say Kunigami said he is fond of you," Nagi told him.

The mention of that made Chigiri blush. He knew he had told it to Barou and Nagi once before Zantetsu and Kiyora joined, but it still made him shy.

"Eh? Doushite?"

"Because you laugh like one of Reo's fan girls," Nagi said in his usual deadpan manner.

"Oy, baka, I am not a girl! Why does everyone here thinks I am a girl?" Chigiri asked.

"Because you look like one," Nagi said. "And sometimes act like one."

And Chigiri pouted cutely, which reminded Nagi of Reo's fan girl who got dejected when Reo told her that he's hanging out with Nagi to play soccer with him.

"But I am badass, dude!" Chigiri retorted, still with a cute frown.

"Only in the field, dude," Nagi shot back playfully. "Don't deny that you like him. It's obvious."

So Chigiri gave up. There's no arguing with it comes to the lazy white-haired beanpole. Nagi shrugged and said that someday, the hero and the princess will reunite.

"How about you?" Chigiri asked. "Do you miss Reo?"

Nagi paused the vid they were watching and turned to Chigiri with sad eyes.

"Yes. I would be lying if I say I don't miss him," Nagi explained, his eyes almost becoming cloudy. "I am not emotional, but Reo is making me."

"I could see that," Chigiri said. "After all, both of you attended the same school and are in the same team."

"No one wanted to make friends with me. Not that I mind. But Reo was seriously the first person who befriends someone as lazy and unmotivated as me," Nagi said. "Not in my wildest dreams would I ever imagine that my best friend is someone who is filthy rich. And Reo is not selfish when it comes to sharing with me the luxuries that he enjoys."

Chigiri smirks, "That sounds like a drama trope. A super rich guy falling head over heels for an ordinary girl."

"Yeah, looks like it," Nagi said. "I once explained it like that to Isagi, but he could not totally understand it because he watches shonen anime."

"But Reo is totally a different level, you know?" Chigiri said. "I mean, when you said that his otou-san hired a powerhouse high school soccer team to have a practice game against you, it felt like those in dramas where a rich mother-in-law uses all her influence and her money just to separate her son from the love of his life. I could not believe hearing it in real life and from someone I know here in Blue Lock. I swear, when Kunigami and I were with Reo, I totally forgot he was the son of a very rich man."

But of course, Chigiri never shared to Nagi that time when he and Kunigami caught Reo pulling out toothbrush bristles while playing something similar to "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." That would creep Nagi out.

"Despite Reo's otou-san being meddlesome, I am envious because his parents look out for him. Mine never cared if I attended school... or if I am still alive."

"Poor you," Chigiri said. "Do you know how happy I am to have met you? I now have friends who I can play fast-paced soccer with."

"I am also happy to have met everyone like Reo and me, despite Zantetsu's baka tendencies and Maid Barou's nagging."

"Who you calling Maid, huh?!?!?!?!" Barou shouted from the background as he threw a pillow at Nagi.

But it was Kiyora, who was silently and diligently studying English, who got hit with the pillow. Maid Barou did not apologize. He still hated being called 'Maid Barou' that he still addressed Nagi as 'Mr. Bothersome.'

"Ora, you committed a grave sin against Kiyora-kun!" Nagi told Barou. "Be on your knees and kowtow your deepest apologies to him, King."

"Nandato!!!!! You making fun of me, huh?! Mr. Bothersome??" Barou growled very angrily.

"Can everyone let me live in peace?" Kiyora, in his deadpan voice, asked as he stood up to sit by the corner. He just wanted to study without interruptions.

"Can we eat our lunch now?" Nagi said to Chigiri. "So that Maid Barou can have all his time to clean our room."

"Nandato?" Barou errupted.

****

Zantetsu joined Nagi and Chigiri in eating lunch so that Maid Barou could clean the room. Later, Chigiri noticed that while he and Zantetsu already finished their food, Nagi was still halfway through his meal.

"Can I eat your steak?" Zantetsu asked Nagi.

"Why do we have to eat?" Nagi complained. "I wish Reo's otou-san will fund a scientist to make an over-the-counter stomach opener so that I could just zip my stomach close and open and put food inside. Chewing is a hassle."

As he pushed his tray towards Zantetsu for the latter to continue eating his food, he complained to Chigiri.

"I wish Reo were here to give me a piggyback. Or someone like Isagi who will pull me around," he complained.

Chigiri smirked. It was known to everyone in Building 5 before that Reo piggybacked Nagi. And during the earlier stage of the Second Selection, it was Isagi who would pull Nagi around for meals despite the fact that Barou could do the job because he was muscular and could piggyback Nagi.

"If Kunigami were here, he'd do that for you," Chigiri sighed.

"Who's Kunigami?" Zantetsu asked lackadaisically. "Was he that very tall guy with silver bun and very wide eyes and looks like he spaces out all the time?"

Chigiri grimaced. Who in the world was Zantetsu talking about? And it hit him that Zantetsu was describing someone else.

"No, not him. That's Gagamaru. Kunigami is that hot guy with orange hair," Chigiri complained.

Nagi smirked even though he was tired. Seriously, Chigiri described his former teammate as someone hot.

"Hot guy? The one with shark teeth?" Zantetsu asked.

"That's Raichi! Never mind. I'm not telling you anymore who's who," Chigiri said.

"Ah yes, your friend Kunigami would make for a nice automobile to carry me around when I am tired," Nagi said

He remembered that incident at the public bath because Isagi was talking with a ginger-haired guy aside from Chigiri. He remembered thinking how muscular the other guy was, and how the other man's physique was a plus factor when holding the ball in their team's possession. No wonder Barou wanted the other guy in their team. And Nagi suddenly flopped his head on the dining table.

"Oy, seriously?" Chigiri asked. "This lazy child. Nagi, I can't carry you. Just stand up and I'll drag you to our room."

Nagi sluggishly stood up and let the pink-haired guy hold his hand. Chigiri admonished Nagi for not eating properly, which made him so weak, tired, and sleepy all the time.

"What nourishment do you ever get?" Chigiri said. "When you play so actively in the field, it really looks like you are eating healthy."

Nagi yawned as he allowed Chigiri to hold his hand and lead him. He was not in the mood to really walk.

"Aw, shucks, my bad. I should have let Zantetsu piggyback me to our room," he said.

Chigiri just laughed, "Just let him finish eating. After all, he's eating your leftovers. He's doing you a favor, you know?"

Chigiri suddenly remembered the time he told Kunigami that the ginger-haired guy should piggyback him as well if he would injure his knee so that they could score a goal. He was somehow envious that Nagi got to be piggybacked while he hadn't experience how that felt like as a high school student.

As they approached their room, Barou and Kiyora went out of the room for lunch.

"Oy, I really made our room extremely clean. Don't play trap again, and definitely not my shoes," Barou told the pink-haired guy.

"Haiii," was Chigiri's lazy reply.

"Why are you dragging Nagi like a child?" Barou asked.

"Because we are friends," Nagi said as he pouted.

"Whatever," Barou grumbled as he and Kiyora headed to the dining hall.

****

By the time Chigiri entered the room, he carefully aided Nagi on his bed so that the latter could comfortably settle down. Nagi flopped on his belly, took out his phone, and started tinkering.

"Have I told you about Choki?" Nagi asked Chigiri as he showed the pink-haired guy a photo of his cactus.

Chigiri laughed. Nagi was just so weird. "You haven't. You have a name for your cactus?"

"I guess it's just the same as having a name for a pet dog or pet cat. Or pet sugar glider," Nagi said before he continued. "He's with Ba-ya now. I hope Ba-ya waters him not that frequently."

"Who's Ba-ya?" Chigiri asked.

"She's Reo's faithful servant and chauffer."

"Reo's living the life, I guess," Chigiri sighed.

"Do you know he has a whole floor for himself? And a whole building by his family?"

"Ha! I can only wish," Chigiri said as he lay down nex to Nagi on the latter's bed.

"And do you know that Ba-ya has the nose of a witch?" Nagi asked.

Chigiri laughed heartily. What did Reo see in Nagi aside from the latter's amazing trap skills? Probably, there's more to that as far as Reo was concerned, but Nagi was so fun to be with. Before Zantetsu and Kiyora were with the team, the two of them would gang up on Barou because the latter was so hot-tempered.

"Reo might get pissed off if his faithful servant is called a 'witch,'"

"But she has a really long nose like a witch," Nagi replied innocently.

This time, it was Chigiri who stared at Nagi. "You really miss Reo, do you?"

Nagi turned off his phone and turned around to lie on his back.

"Hai. But being free from him is also a nice change of pace," Nagi said. "I was used to being left alone, and then suddenly, someone cared for me. It's nice, but Reo could be over the top. Just because he found me, he did not have to mold me like he wanted just for us to fulfill our dream together."

"It's the first time I hear you say it," Chigiri said.

"I kept it for a long time. I would be dishonest if I say that the look on his eyes when he slapped my hand away at the public bath, or when he looked at me when our team chose you, did not affect me at all."

"Hmmm.."

"I was hurt because he was so nice to me," Nagi said. "I started seeing soccer as fun, thanks to him recruiting me. But he did not have to be so bitter as to bitch on me choosing Isagi. I needed to change in order to be better. This is Blue Lock, after all."

Chigiri remembered that incident at the meeting when Reo mentioned he'd not choose Nagi should they win so that Nagi will feel his pain. Kunigami had told him not to get too emotionally attached because the team also involved him and Chigiri. The red-haired guy wondered if Nagi was just too logical and cannot read social cues, or if he could just not tell his feelings properly.

Ah, an introverted man, that's what Nagi was, Chigiri realized.

"I could not look at Kunigami as I walked away," Chigiri confessed, his chest tightening when he remembered that incident. "It hurts me too because we made a pact together, and we could not even be together to fulfill it. I could not stand hearing him so bitterly as I went to your side. I am wondering when I can see him again."

Nagi bit his lower lip pensively. He wanted to get away from Reo, hoping the two of them would grow up apart so they could be together later. And here was a friend who hoped with all his heart to stay with a friend until the end to fulfill their wish together.

But this was Blue Lock. Your closest friend would be your rival eventually. And the system was bringing friends away from each other.

"He was always so patient with me even though he could not understand me at times. And he liked hanging out with me," Chigiri said. "Everyone in Team Z knew that. That's why I regretted not getting his phone number even though we spent so much time together during the three-man team."

Regret. That feeling Chigiri greatly felt inside the facility. Nagi did not regret telling Reo what he wanted to do because he did not want to regret not doing his best.

"Where do you live now, Nagi?"

"At the school dorm. By myself."

"Aww, poor you," Chigiri crooned. "Someday, I will bring you to my house. You, Reo, Bachira, Isagi, and Kunigami, if I could get his number. My okaa-san loves cooking, and she cooks really well. We could also hang out in my room, around the kotatsu."

Nagi felt envious. His friend was excitedly talking about his mother, and he wished he could do the same. He imagined the delicious food that Chigiri's okaa-san would cook, and he imagined them friends around the kotatsu. That should be nice. As the others would be chatting while munching in snacks, he would wrap his side of the futon and lie down to sleep. Ah, no wonder he and Chigiri are friends.

"I really miss the time when I would read my sci-fi novels while sipping tea and relaxing in my kotatsu," Chigiri gushed dreamily. "I also wish I have my own black cat to cuddle with."

"You like cats?" Nagi asked.

"Hai! They are cute! But I like black cats more. Probably I could decorate them with jewelry so their fur will look like the night sky with stars."

"You don't really look like it, Princess," Nagi said. "Despite you trash-talking people in the field, or running at top speed for your goal, but out of the field, you seem to be a homebody."

"Yeah, that's why I enjoy watching videos with you. The book I have when I came here was confiscated by that woman with Ego-san. What's her name?"

"Can't remember, sorry," Nagi said. As if to remember something, he told Chigiri, "Will you really let me visit your house once we get out of here?"

"Sure!" Chigiri said cheerfully. "We can hang out lazily in my room. Turtle and cat, how does that sound?"

"That sounds nice," Nagi said. "For once, I want to try having a friend who does not talk all the time. Because a lot of times, Reo does."

"Now, now, don't talk about at Reo like that," Chigiri told him. "He's still your best friend, after all."

"I know... but I can't help it... But will you also let Kunigami in your room if me or the others will not come to your house?"

Chigiri replied with a shy smile, "Of course. He's my closest friend here in Blue Lock. We love chatting about anime and other different stuff, though I cannot relate to his talks about muscles. But we probably could do things on our own silently in my room. He'd work out while I read my novels."

"That's cute," Nagi remarked. "But I really am looking forward to hanging out with you in your house. I want to meet your okaa-san."

Chigiri rubbed Nagi's hair as he remarked, "You must be very lonely."

"Before Reo, I was. But I am happy now, thanks to friends I meet here in Blue Lock... And because of Reo."

"Yeah, it shows," Chigiri said. "Reo holds a special place in your heart."

Nagi stretched out his limbs as he yawned. He had not eaten a lot, and the room was cold, but he really wanted his nap by now.

"Ah, I wish the Second Selection would not end yet," Nagi said as he yawned. "I want to sleep more."

"Okay, just close your eyes for your noon nap. I'll arrange my care kit," Chigiri said as he got up from Nagi's bed.

The pink-haired guy went back to his bed and grabbed his care kit to arrange his stuff. It used to be so disarranged until Isagi arranged the contents for him. Now, it became a habit of his to arrange it like Isagi did. As he silently kept himself busy, his thoughts flew back to his orange-haired friend. The thoughts made him warm, bittersweet, and sad.

"Where are you now, Rensuke? Are you still fighting hard to get here too? I can't wait to see you again. I want to see you... I want to hang out with you again. There's so many things I want to tell you. And honestly, it's only Nagi here who's a pleasure to talk with. I remember those lazy times when we'd hang out on your bed or at the gym, and we would talk about crazy stuff. I wish I could invite you to my room so we could watch 'One Piece' and 'Shingeki no Kyojin' together. Or we could hang out at a kombini or at a coffee shop. I miss you so much, Rensuke."

Nagi, meanwhile, put an arm on his eyes to cover his face from the light in the room. As he started to slumber, his thoughts flew back to how Reo looked when he told the purple-haired guy that he was tired of caring what Reo thought. His chest started to tighten at the memory, and he did his best to not let some tears fall as he started to sleep.

"Reo, there's a lot I want to tell you. Over and over, my heart is filled with regrets much as it is filled with hope. I hope to get stronger so that we can play together again. I regret not explaining it to you properly, or how we should set our expectations right because we are here in Blue Lock. If I could have it any other way, Reo, if I could have loved soccer earlier just like you, if Blue Lock did not exist and we continue playing for our school, I will never leave you like this. Talking with Chigiri here is my sense of peace because he lets me be lazy, and I enjoy spending time with him more than our other team members now. Reo, where are you now? I hope you are fighting as hard as me to get out of Second Selection. I want to see you again. I want to talk to you again. I want to hear your chatty voice. I miss you, Reo. I miss you so much, but I cannot show it."

--end--

[unrestedjade]

Mermay Kuwameshi nonsense

Damn, the month’s half over already! I’m rereading Pet Shop of Horrors, rewatching Yu Yu Hakusho, and coincidentally obsessed with Kuwabara/Urameshi. So! Half-assed crossover time. Maybe Count D has a second location in Japan?

 Kazuma wasn't sure how long the pet shop had been there on the edge of Chinatown. It looked like it had been in that storefront for years, but he couldn't remember seeing it until a few months ago. Maybe he'd just missed it, but he didn't think so. He liked animals. If the place had been there the whole time, he'd have gone inside at least once, just to check it out.

He also wasn't sure why he hadn't checked it out. He tended to pick up his pace when he passed by, trying to put space between himself and the shop for no reason his rational mind could come up with. It was just a pet shop. Yet for some reason it hit him the wrong way, sending a cold shiver up his spine whenever he neared it.

Today he was feeling it again, the unpleasant tickle crawling through his nervous system urging him to go, walk faster, get away. It was getting irritating, to tell the truth. Was it haunted, or something? A haunted pet shop? That could be a thing, right?

Regardless, Kazuma wasn't about to have his rep endangered by a place that sold goldfish and bunnies. Today he was gonna go in there. He'd settle these creepy-crawlies once and for all, and get his walk home from school back to normal.

Yep. He was gonna walk inside in just a minute. Just a few seconds. Gonna walk right in!

Boy, it was darker in there than a pet shop really should be, wasn't it?

Growling at himself in annoyance, Kazuma forced himself to step forward. It was just a pet shop, for god's sake.

It was dark inside, for sure. Heavy curtains draped over the windows and walls cut not just the light from outside, but the noise, too. Kazuma could hear the sounds of traffic and activity outside, but it seemed so far away, like the inside of the shop was in its own little world. Weak lamplight played across the deep red drapery, the corners of the room vanishing into shadow.

The shop had all the expected stuff. Bird cages with canaries and parakeets. Cages for the rabbits and puppies and...ferrets? Did pet shops have ferrets? This one did, apparently. What was weird was the rest of the furnishings. Aside from the animal cages, there was a kind of seating area-- a sofa, a couple chairs, a fancy coffee table. The place looked more like a fortune teller's place, or a brothel out of one of his sister's romance novels that he definitely didn't sneak to read and then skip over half the pages because he got too embarrassed. Covering the smell of animals was the heavy scent of incense.

There was no sign of the shopkeeper that Kazuma could see. Was this place actually open?

A hallway led farther back. Way farther back, with fancy, painted doors leading off to the left and right every few meters. The place was a lot bigger than it looked from the front. Kazuma called out a tentative hello, in case someone mistook him for a thief, or something. God, he hoped this place wasn't actually a front for a brothel, or he'd be so mortified he might die on the spot.

Someone answered him. "Hello?"

Kazuma jumped at the sound of a male voice, and felt immediately foolish. Of course someone else was in here! The door was open, wasn't it? Following the voice, Kazuma found himself in a side room filled with fish tanks on heavy iron racks. Though he'd sworn he heard someone speak, there didn't appear to be anyone in here. Just the tanks.

There was no lighting in the room other than the lamps on the fish tank hoods. They cast greenish, shifting light across the floor, the ceiling, and Kazuma himself. The light flickered, making the whole room look as though it were submerged underwater. Most of the tanks were occupied. A few contained what looked like koi, others held angelfish, guppies, or fighting fish. A few others held fish Kazuma couldn't identify other than they were ugly and off-putting, with mouths crammed too full of teeth and oily black scales. Some fish seemed to change somehow when he looked away from them, shifting and melting at the corner of his eye.

There was one enormous tank running the length of one wall. The glass was overgrown with algae, shading the water emerald green. Something moved inside. Something big, pacing the length of the tank back and forth. Was it a shark? It seemed large enough-- a little longer than Kazuma was tall.

"Who are you?"

There was the voice again! Kazuma looked for the speaker, and nearly leaped out of his skin when a guy popped his head over the side of the enormous tank.

"Wh-what are you doing in there?" It was a stupid question, maybe. But what else were you supposed to say to a guy who suddenly yelled at you from a fish tank?

The guy pushed a mess of dark, wet hair from his eyes. He looked about Kazuma's age. A part-timer? "What are you doing in here, stupid?"

Kazuma's temper flared, but the question was a fair one. He was the one who'd decided to poke around. "No one was out front, so I thought I'd look around." Maybe this was a back room only employees were supposed to be in, but it wasn't Kazuma's fault that this shop was run so sloppy. There wasn't even a sign posted. If the place was open, then the shopkeeper should be where customers could see them!

"Heh." The guy leaned his bare arms on the rim of the tank. Scum from the tank stuck to his forearm. It looked like it was a real mess in there. "Not much to see, is there? This place sucks."

"It kinda does," Kazuma agreed. He ventured a little closer, looking for the shape of the huge fish through the murky glass and not finding it. Wasn't this guy worried about it biting him? "What are you doing in there, cleaning? It looks like shit."

The guy laughed. "Tell me about it! Nah," he said, grinning. His teeth looked weird, like they were sharper than they ought to be. Or probably they were just crooked. "If the owner wants it clean, he can do it himself. Not like I'm getting paid to be a maid."

Okay, now Kazuma was really confused. Did the guy work here or not? If not, what the hell was he doing splashing around in a fish tank?

"You here to buy something?" The guy's smile wilted, like it wasn't an expression he was real used to making and he couldn't keep it up long.

Kazuma shook his head. "Just curious," he said. He didn't mention the creepy feeling he got every time he walked by this place. Or the fact that the tickle up his spine hadn't gone away yet. If anything, it was getting stronger, harder to brush aside.

The guy seemed to perk up a little at that, which was weird if he was an employee after all. Shouldn't he want Kazuma to buy something?

"What's the weather like today?"

Kazuma blinked. That was a weird question. "Uh...sunny? Why don't you go outside and look?"

"Can't," the guy said simply, leaning his chin on his arms.

"Your boss that much of a slave driver?" Kazuma asked, frowning. "Won't let you walk outside for a minute? There aren't even any customers in here right now."

The guy smiled again, briefly, and his teeth definitely weren't normal. Kazuma stared without meaning to. Had he filed them down? Why were they...pointy?

"Hey," the guy said. "What's your name?"

"Kazuma Kuwabara," Kazuma said. "Do you go to school here? I haven't seen you around before."

"Nope," the guy said, shaking his head. His wet hair sloshed along the surface of the water. It was really long, for a guy. Or a girl, for that matter. "Name's Yusuke. You got somewhere to be, Kazuma Kuwabara, or can you stick around for a few? I'm bored as shit in here."

Kazuma had homework to do, in fact, but it wasn't like that had ever been a pressing concern. It wasn't every day he met someone new, much less someone who seemed kinda cool. Sarayashiki wasn't a school people wanted to transfer their kids into. "I guess," he said, still looking out for any sign of that big fish. Had it hidden somewhere in the tank?

"You scared of water, or something? You don't gotta stand all the way over there," Yusuke said, chuckling. There was a swishing sound, like he was kicking his legs under the water.

Kazuma wasn't scared of water. He just had a weird feeling about the fish in that tank, that was all. Still, it wasn't like it was gonna launch itself over the side at him, right? This wasn't a Jaws movie. If Yusuke was safe where he was, Kazuma could get closer. So he did, moving to lean on the glass. The tank came up to his chest, and the glass was seriously thick, almost the width of his palm. It must have weighed a ton. He peered into the water, but it was just more murky green. He could make out what he thought might be sea grass or something, and a few chunks of driftwood for decoration, but no fish.

"What are you looking for?"

"There's a big fish in here, so..." Kazuma trailed off, finally taking a look at Yusuke up close. His teeth really were sharp, it wasn't a trick of the light. Serrated, like steak knives. The dim, shifting light from the tank lamps glinted too well off slimy skin, and with his arms raised Kazuma could see three long gashes following the curve of his ribs. They weren't bleeding, just flexing in time with his breaths. His long hair fanned out behind him in the water. Beneath the surface, where Yusuke's body was shrouded in murky green, a massive tail swayed lazily back and forth.

Yusuke watched Kazuma's eyes widen, smirking. "Find that fish yet?" A tail fin as wide as Yusuke's shoulders gently broke the surface of the water, gray and sleek. Softly, it slapped back down, splashing some water on Kazuma's uniform jacket.

Kazuma could give a shit about the jacket right now. "Um," he said, blinking while his brain tried frantically to catch up with his eyes. "Are you...a mermaid?" It felt stupid to say it out loud.

He felt even stupider when Yusuke burst into loud laughter. "What? I'm not a mermaid, you idiot!"

Kazuma could feel his face redden. Great. He'd met this guy all of five minutes ago and he was never gonna live this down. He knew he'd never let it go if someone said something off-the-wall crazy like that to him. Mermaid? If he was lucky, Yusuke would just assume he was drunk and not terminally stupid.

After a minute, Yusuke got a hold of himself, reaching up to dab tears from the corners of his eyes. "I'm a merman. Genius."

"Whatever, I was just joking anyw- wait, what?"

Yusuke pushed back a little from the glass, pointing one clawed finger at his own chest. "You see any boobs? I'm a guy."

Kazuma sputtered. "I know you're a guy, stupid!" Alright, he was gonna wake up in the middle of math class any second now. This shit had officially gotten too weird to be real. 

"Seemed pretty confused to me," Yusuke said, with a smirk and a shrug.

"Are you really half fish under there?" Kazuma didn't have space in his brain to get too mad about accusations of being dumb right now. He was too transfixed by the dark shape of Yusuke's tail moving under the water. Was it a trick? A...a costume, or something? They had to do that for mermaids in movies, right? There was no way it was real. Even if Kazuma's Bizarre Crap Warning Tickle was now a full-body shiver.

"I'm all me, not half fish. But whatever." Yusuke shifted his grip on the rim of the tank, pulling himself closer to Kazuma. "You want a better look?"

Kazuma nodded brainlessly, and had a half second of utter confusion as Yusuke gripped his shoulders. Then he was pulled forward, down into the water, a cold shock slapping him in the face and a moment of vertigo as his feet left the floor.

It didn't occur to him to hold his breath. In unconscious panic, he tried to take a breath, choking on cold water instead. Yusuke floated just below him, his laugh ringing through the tank, surrounding Kazuma in mocking sound. Sure enough, tan skin gave way to two-tone gray just below his waist, a large tail bumping against Kazuma's thrashing legs. It looked pretty damn real from here.

Yusuke's grip on Kazuma kept him from reaching the surface, only a few inches overhead but still too far. Panicked from lack of air, Kazuma lashed out, landing an awkward punch square on Yusuke's nose. The merman's head snapped back, his hair tracing the arc of his movement, but he didn't let go.

"Aw, quit freaking out, will ya?" Yusuke's voice filled the tank as he shook his head to clear it. A trickle of blood drifted from his nostril to dissipate in the water. "Thought you said you weren't scared?" He pulled Kazuma closer, like he was gonna take a chomp out of him. Kazuma froze, bracing for teeth, but Yusuke only pressed their lips together.

Kazuma knew he wasn't getting any air, but at once the water stopped burning in his lungs. He could breathe, somehow. Which was a lot to process on top of his first kiss and also maybe drowning, and also this guy was a goddamn mermaid. Too close to focus on properly, Yusuke's eyes glittered with mischief.

A hand grabbed the back of Kazuma's collar. He was hauled from the water, coughing and sputtering. He dragged air back into his lungs, though it almost felt too harsh. Too dry. The man who'd saved him helped him clamber over the rim of the tank to collapse to his hands and knees on the floor.

"I'm sorry," the man said, voice smooth and lilting as Kazuma heaved up more tank water. "You'll need to stay well back from the displays. Some of the animals are dangerous."

Water streaming from his hair and every stitch of his clothing, Kazuma blinked up at his rescuer. The shop owner was a tall Chinese guy, dressed in fancy silk robes and wearing...was that red lipstick?

"Did you have an appointment?" the owner said, polite and distant, like he hadn't just saved Kazuma from drowning or getting eaten or whatever had been going on. Casually, he flicked water from the sleeve of his robe and pushed a lock of his straight, black hair behind one ear with manicured nails. "I'm afraid you'll have to come back another time if not. I'm quite busy at the moment."

"It's your own fault for leaving me stuck in here with nothing to do," Yusuke chimed in, looking at Kazuma over the edge of the tank once more. He smiled like he'd just gotten away with something, or like he'd just told a real groaner of a joke. Kazuma stared back at him, unsure how to feel. 

The owner shot Yusuke an exasperated look that seemed to say 'I'll deal with you later.' His eyes were different colors, one dark and one light. Kazuma had been too surprised by the lipstick to notice at first. The guy was like a creepy, pet-shop-owning David Bowie. His presence filled the room. With slight surprise (because most of his sense of surprise had already been taken up by Yusuke) Kazuma realized he was kinda scared of this guy.

"How come," Kazuma rasped, throat aching. "How come you got a mermaid in a damn pet shop?"

The owner turned his attention back to Kazuma, frowning down at him. "That's a very rare and very aggressive species of shark from the Japan Sea. You shouldn't have approached the tank so carelessly."

Knees shaking, Kazuma pushed himself to his feet. "Bullshit," he said, wringing out his jacket. "I may not be the smartest guy around, but I know that's not a fish. Fish ain't people. That's a damn mermaid."

"It's merman," Yusuke grumbled. "Dumbass. Get it right." He was still staring at Kazuma as if he were the only thing worth worrying about in the whole room. It was a little intense, but Kazuma found himself staring right back. Now that he wasn't under the water, he wasn't scared anymore. Not that he'd been that scared! It was surprising, that was all! Anyone would have been just as put off as he was!

The owner took a small step back, putting distance between the spreading puddle of dirty water and what looked like very expensive shoes. "I see." He studied Yusuke for a moment, thoughtful. "Have you ever kept saltwater species before, young man?" he said, addressing Kazuma. "The initial setup can be somewhat onerous, but it's quite rewarding. Many people find that watching fish swim helps alleviate stress."

True enough, Kazuma hadn't been stressed about school or anything else when he'd been pulled into the tank, except for getting eaten or drowned. Real soothing. More importantly... "You're trying to sell him?"

"This is a pet shop," the man said, as though Kazuma were five years old and also incredibly slow. "The shark seems to have taken a liking to you, or there wouldn't have been much left of you for me to pull from the water. What do you say?" He stroked his chin, completely at ease with this insane situation. "We can discuss a fair price, along with a care guide and contract you'll need to abide by, of course."

For some reason, the idea of someone buying Yusuke outright was even more unbelievable than the whole being-a-mermaid thing. "You can't just sell him! He's a person!"

Yusuke leaned out over the edge of the tank, a curtain of black hair dripping onto the floor. "Aw, c'mon! Don't be a cheapskate! Just get me outta here before I go outta my mind. It's boring!" He was leaning so far out, one hand clutching the edge of the tank while the other reached to tug on Kazuma's sleeve. His gills were already starting to wheeze awkwardly in the dry air.

"And what am I supposed to do?" Kazuma shot back. "Carry you home and hide you in the bathtub? You're huge, man!" It was stupid anyway. Even if Kazuma had a whole swimming pool at home, it wasn't right to keep Yusuke locked up like that. If mermaids were real-- which apparently they were, and Kazuma wasn't going to be over that for a long time-- then they should be in the ocean, right? Of course Yusuke was miserable in this stupid little tank in a room with no windows, and no one to talk to! He wasn't some goldfish, or something!

The man smiled, small but genuine. He turned to Yusuke, gently shoving him back to the water when it looked like he was about to overbalance and fall from the tank. "It seems your mind is set on this one?"

"Yeah, this guy's an idiot, but he's alright." Sulking, Yusuke lowered himself in the water, wetting his gills. "Anybody else you shove at me is getting eaten, got that?"

"And just like that," the man said, with a helpless gesture, "the decision is made for me. As you can see, this particular specimen is something of a liability, so I'm willing to offer you a favorable deal to take it off my hands."

Kazuma had just about enough money in his wallet for a sandwich from the convenience store. He knew he wasn't gonna be able to cough up the cash to get Yusuke out of here. Still, he couldn't walk away. Yusuke's eyes were burning a hole through him.

"It's gonna have to be a hell of a deal, mister," Kazuma said, finally dragging his eyes from Yusuke to look at the shop owner. "I don't even have a job, and I'm pretty broke."

The shop owner only smiled. "I'm sure we can reach an agreement."

[luckystarchild]

Random headcannon! What kind of fathers do you think the boys would be like? :)

Now THIS is the kind of head-canon Ask I can sink my teeth into! Love getting these. WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD.

KURAMA:

I actually wonder if Kurama would want children. Part of me thinks he’d be perfectly happy to be childfree by choice. He’s a precise person I imagine as a clean-freak, and I think he’d find kids tiresome.

BUT, if he had them, he’d raise them to be polite, responsible, and calm–almost little Kurama clones, because wild children would get on his nerves. He’d never, EVER raise his voice to his kids and he’d find spanking repugnant (because intimidating a child into obeying means he failed to reason with said child, which means Kurama’s big brain failed him, and his pride can’t have that)

 He’s the kind of father who would have an office in his home that no one is allowed into except for him;  “Don’t disturb your father while he’s working, children.”

I also think he might accidentally wind up being a bit distant from his kids. Not for lack of love, but he’s so dang polite and reserved that his kids might not find him accessible or approachable. PLUS I don’t think he had much of a family as a demon, and since he spent a lot of his childhood ignoring Shiori, he likely has no clue how to be a good parent (though he mimics Shiori as best he can). He’s not the type to play Legos with his kids, is what I’m saying.

He’d have no trouble telling his kids “no.” 

I think his kids would inevitably have a rebellious phase, mostly to get their father’s attention, and otherwise be hungry for his approval.

Mess with Kurama’s kids, btw, and you die. You die slowly and horribly in the basement, tortured long and slow (and Kurama’s kids, seeing him protect them, realize that while their father might be cold sometimes, he truly loves them very much).

The voice of reason on the local PTA (which he low-key runs by psychologically manipulating the other parents).

Bonus: Kurama’s kids would have a GREAT relationship with Shiori and spend a ton of time with their grandmother, whom Kurama would go to for parenting advice at least twice week when no one’s looking.

HIEI:

Firstly, I don’t think Mister Deathwish plans ahead enough to truly imagine a family life, and secondly, I think he’d avoid having kids after such a fucked-up childhood. “How can I raise a family when I’ve never had one of my own, never experienced what that feels like?” I hear him asking. He won’t even tell his sister they’re family, which makes me think he thinks he doesn’t DESERVE a family of his own…so any kids he has would likely be an accident, unless you write him with a lot of character development in which he moves past his intrinsic self-loathing.

So I see him being one of two types of fathers: the dad who resents having a kid accidentally (but the kid eventually opens him up and makes him a happier person), or the kind of dad who tries to be a good parent and just has no idea how and winds up making his kids cry a lot (“Daddy is scary!”). Or maybe he starts as the first and grows into the second; IDK.

Point is, he’d be gruff and no-nonsense, and when teaching his kids to fight (because you know he would!) he wouldn’t pull punches. In fact, I imagine him almost as an Aggressive Little League Dad™, taking a small child’s fighting lessons far too seriously for their own good:

“Pick up your sword, child!” he says to a kid literally in pull-ups.

“But Daddy, it’s too heavy!” says the kid as they try to life a sword that is literally twice their height.

“I SAID PICK IT UP, BRAT, AND STOP DAWDLING. AN ENEMY WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU BY NOW.”

 “Waaaah, Mommy, help!”

I think Hiei’s partner would have to step in and say, “Hiei, honey, they’re KIDS. Let them be kids. They don’t need to fight yet because we’ll keep them safe.” But since Hiei was LITERALLY TOSSED OFF A ROCK AS A BABY BY HIS OWN DANG MOM, he has no concept of what a peaceful childhood looks like and insists the kids fight while in diapers. It’s only when his partner points out that they do not, in fact, intend to toss their children off a floating island that Hiei chills out.

“Tell me, Hiei. Do you intend to abandon our child? Do you ever intend not to protect them? No? THEN LET THE KID GET A DANG TEDDY BEAR FOR HIS BIRTHDAY AND PUT AWAY THOSE NUNCHUCKS; GODDAMN.”

Has no idea what a PTA is and doesn’t care to learn, and will sulk if dragged to one. Maybe light a curtain on fire to cut the meeting short. It’s Hiei.

Bonus: Yukina would be a very involved auntie, because if Hiei is open enough to have kids of his own, he’d be open enough to confess he’s her brother.

YUSUKE:

Yusuke loves kids (at least in my personal head-canon he does), and while I totally see him having kids accidentally (because he ain’t the responsible sort), I do think he’d want them (or not hate the idea of then and just not think too hard about the possibility of kids until, whoops, one is on the way, too late now).

And you know what? I think he’d be a great dad.

He’d be warm with his kids, play with them on their level, and totally support them when they do something he never could (do well in school, for instance). Lots of affectionate teasing and wrestling, I picture. Yusuke’s father was canonically abusive, so Yusuke would try to right the wrongs of his childhood and be the best dad ever.

HOWEVER…I think he’d inevitably turn his partner into the Bad Cop to his Good Cop. Yusuke would be his kid’s buddy and leave the discipline to his partner. “Daddy, can I get a puppy?” “Um…go ask your mother/father!” He’d be the “fun” parent, and sometimes that would lead to strife with his partner and a lack of discipline with his kids. I mean, he’d probably give out the odd spanking or three (he spanks a kid in the manga, after all) but taking away a cell phone or grounding the kid would fall to Keiko, or whomever he has kids with.

In fact, if he tried to ground his teenage kids, they’d probably just laugh at him and assume he’s kidding, because he definitely let the kids skip school a few times, talks about their teachers with disdain, and isn’t built for being a stern parent.

Goes to PTA meetings, like, twice a year and makes snarky comments the whole time while eating all the snacks.

Bonus: Atsuko sobers up because Yusuke makes it clear she can’t be drunk when babysitting (and she desperately wants to be a better caretaker to them than she was to Yusuke, even if she laments she’s too young to be a grandmother). He also visits Mister Takenaka (who never married) with the kids sometimes and gets parenting advice from his former teacher, because Takenaka is the closest thing to a dad Yusuke had growing up. Takenaka becomes like a grandfather to Yusuke’s children and it’s lovely.

KUWABARA:

He wants kids, full stop. As a kid himself he wasn’t so sure, but as an adult his paternal instincts go a bit nuts. Turns out his obsession with kittens extends to human babies, as well. He’s a joyful parent, but he would very responsibly wait to have kids until he’s making good money and has finished school. No accidents like Yusuke, that’s for sure.

He preps the nursery as much as his partner does and is the best dad a mother could want during infancy. You ever see someone change a diaper at 4 AM with a grin on his face? You will if you visit Kuwabara when the baby comes home.

As the kids grow up, he gets totally wrapped around their fingers, a total “Yes Man” who brings home presents  (sometimes living ones like kittens) far too often for his partner’s tastes. Spoils his kids rotten, this guy, but his kids trust him completely and can go to him with any problems they have, knowing he won’t judge and will just listen.

He’s nurturing to a fault. Every night he helps with their homework, and if he doesn’t understand it, he’ll read chapters ahead in their textbooks and learn all of the material just so he can help them (through this he realizes just how much stuff he missed in school, back before he buckled down and went to college).

If he has a girl, he’ll be the kind of dad who gives a “Shotgun & Shovel” talk to her boyfriends (though knowing Shizuru, his daughters will be feminists and demand their dad back off and trust them to make their own choices). 

Kuwabara’s biggest fault as a dad is that he hovers and smothers; his kids will be driven NUTS and need space, much as they love their father.

Is the one bringing all the best snacks to the PTA meetings.

Bonus: Shizuru gives all his kids the sex talk because Kuwabara is too embarrassed to do it himself. She’s the coolest aunt ever, and his kids go to her house to escape their dad when he gets too smothery.

IN SUMMARY:

Hiei is an Aggressive Little League Dad™, but with fighting lessons. Doesn’t know what a PTA is and doesn’t care. WILL set something on fire if dragged there against his will.

Kurama is an aloof authority figure who psychologically manipulates the other PTA parents to get his way. Fuck you, Brenda, and screw the funding; these kids are getting a greenhouse.

Yusuke is the Cool Dad™ who eats all the snacks at PTA meetings (of which he only attends, like, two) and makes snarky comments about the moms' boobjobs to himself the whole time.

And Kuwabara is a loving helicopter parent who brings all the best snacks to the PTA meetings, during which he takes the meeting’s minutes (earnestly, but with illegible penmanship).