#Not maintagging this with fanganronpa as it’s kind of a personal topic almost

[laniemae]

Keep thinking about that one scene in my fangan. Yeah I know it’s literally just a concept in my head and I’m treating it like a real scene and it’s really interesting so I may talk about it later. But it’s basically later on where Kayo confessed her (pre kg) murder to Tsubasa, and how it was essentially impulsive and how she got an innocent person arrested for her crime and never confessed. And she starts breaking down over the memory and how she was completely selfish for what she did and could never forgive herself and is constantly consumed by the regret of what she did.

And when Tsubasa forgives her, Kayo gets really angry and calls him stupid for forgiving her as everything she did in the situation was essentially selfish. Tsubasa doesn’t refute what she says. More so saying that her selfish behaviour was more so in self preservation, and the way she acted within the situation, even if it hurt a lot of people, was understandable considering the trauma she went though, and forgives her for that. And Kayo is really shocked by this as she would’ve expected Tsubasa to simply refute her by saying she wasn’t selfish and is a good person at heart because he didn’t lie about how Kayo put herself first in the situation, and rather interpreted it with a different perspective compared to her extremely self loathing view on it. And that almost makes thing better than Tsubasa essentially lying and seeing a new perspective on her crime from someone other than her and especially rather than denying everything she’s saying, makes her confused and freaked out but rooting a new perspective in for what happened.

But even so Kayo gets defensive saying that even so he may view what she did in that way, he doesn’t have full context of the situation and why she did that. And once again Tsubasa agrees saying that is completely true, but from what he has gathered about the situation and his own ideals and beliefs makes him willing to forgive her, even if there are people out there who wouldn’t. And having her emotions actually be validated by someone instead of being denied in order to “help” her is completely new to her after how the rest of the students tried to comfort her after she attempted murder in chapter 1.

And even if Kayo still can’t forgive herself for what she did the fact that someone was willing to see from her perspective after she had done something like that, she just completely broke down for having been truly accepted by someone who was willing to understand her situation. And Tsubasa didn’t advance any more trying to use typical tactics to help her. No hugs, speeches about how you have to forgive herself, just sitting there while Kayo is letting all her emotions out like that, as he knows she is a person who has a lot of boundaries.

yeah so uhhh. Essentially my protagonist has a milgram esq backstory and stuff and this scene is heavily influenced by the themes of forgiveness in Milgram especially when it comes to murder. And Tsubasa’s reaction to her situation is very much how I wish to be treated when I feel like I’ve done something horrible. Not being said I should stop hating myself or I am actually a good person and was acting out. But having my situation empathised with and not denying everything I say, just looking at it from another perspective. I guess why even being from a fangan I’ll probably never make into an actual thing it just sticks out to me so much. As even if I haven’t straight up killed like Kayo did, it’s almost an expression of how I feel when I act out, or get angry, and can’t forgive myself for anything and projecting my personal suffering onto my characters and have them grow as a person and move on is very inspiring to me even if I’m the one writing it. And even if it’s a lot harder to get to that point irl than writing down as a concept