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#Not to mention I'm regressing in my art skill right now.
pvremichigan
·
4 months
Text
Whoopsie time
#vent tw
#cw vent
#I'm stupid to have dropped out of college
#now I don't know what I'm doing and I can't do the very passion I set out to do
#Animation was my dream and I ruined it for a guy who groomed me and ended up physically abusing me.
#I didn't realize trying to animate and failing because I don't understand it no matter what I look up about it would result in a breakdown
#Not to mention I'm regressing in my art skill right now.
#My art is ASS right now no matter how hard I try to improve it
#references... Practice... Doodles... Warmups you name it
#nothing is going right and I have the urge to quit art altogether
#I'm not going to and I can't bring myself to ever do that but It's aching inside me
#I want my art to be good according to me. not others. People can say it's great but if I don't like it... I'm not going to settle for it
#I shouldn't have left
#I loved college
#I loved SELU
#I loved my life back then
#And now I'm here. And I'm not happy anymore.
#Even with writing. I even took a long break from writing and I still can't do it right according to myself.
#Now I have no muse or motivation for any of it
#I feel empty. And I can't go to therapy because I can't afford the balance on my account.
#I just feel like I failed.
#I feel like I failed my parents and myself. They always tell me theyre so proud of me but I don't understand how they can be.
#Not when I ended up in two severely abusive relationships... Dropped out of college twice... And now work in a factory full time.
#Yeah i make decent money in a place I enjoy but it all just feels empty.
#I could've been more
#i could've done better
#[[out of ammo]];; ooc
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