#I loved SELU

[pvremichigan]

Whoopsie time

[dilxcs]

CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP

LOOK AT DILUC AND I 🥺🥺🥺 // comm made by the wonderful @/minr00h (twt) 🤍

[hydropyro]

A Dinner Owed

Prologue

“Until we meet again, I wish thee every possible fortune. Health, wealth, love, and above all, problems worth solving.” The recently unretired God of Death said – a goblet of wine held aloft.

Raphael stood at the edge of the party, just outside the glow of the various torches. Milil had seen him and had given him a polite nod in greeting – returned respectfully by the devil across camp – but no other attention was drawn to him yet. He shifted his weight onto his right leg, leaning against the smooth bark of a deciduous tree as he eyed the merrymakers.

“To you.” Jergal toasted, a cheer rose, and everyone lifted their cups before drinking. Though the mingling continued, a few of the attendants began to depart.

First went the drow. Raphael was surprised that she had even attended in the first place. He had no interest in dealing with her directly but followed her work closely. When the Baenre child enacted her plans to collapse the hierarchy of Menzoberranzan, he knew that a feast of souls and of desperate, haughty drow nobles would await his ever-helpful hand.

The gith girl left soon after, proudly declaring that her war needed her swift return. Gith were renowned warriors but so easily brought to heel by their superiors that Vlaakith’s deceit had continued for centuries. Though the Prince of the Comet had made a great personal sacrifice in accepting ceremorphosis on himself, from what Raphael had heard, little Lae’zel was blazing a path through the Astral Sea on her own. Whatever her might, it would not be straightforward to dethrone the Lich Queen –

He kept close tabs on the warrior. When the time was most opportunous he may be inclined to reveal Gith’s location – still alive in Baator. And, once he ruled the Hells, who better to liaison with for her Great Mother’s freedom?

Next to depart was the wizard. Mystra had forgiven the poor sod – for now. Tabs were kept on him, too, though his occupation as a professor made him much easier to track. Raphael had little doubt that the fickle, cradle-robbing Goddess would tire of her twisted plaything, leaving Mr. Dekarios in desperate need of a savior with enough magic to feed the voracious orb in his chest. Conveniently, Raphael would be able to provide – given a reasonable trade.

Karlach and Wyll Ravengard, now dubbed the Blade of Avernus, would linger for as long as Jergal would allow. He did not need to keep track of them; rather, his troops had strict orders to stay well out of their warpath. They were a mild inconvenience now, and hopefully, they would gratefully fall into their place once Zariel was deposed. They would be welcome to stay in his Avernus if they chose to, but he would not tolerate their massacring his armies.

He had continued work in Baldur’s Gate as he had around the rest of Toril, still gathering souls. The Karsite Weave may not need them, but having the extra power at his force’s disposal was welcome. And, in keeping with his deal with the adventurers, the Crown stayed securely tucked away – still on his person, of course – but not in use when he did what he did best.

In his visits to the city over the few months following the resolution of the Absolute Crisis, he’d heard tell of a nighttime vigilante cutting down the criminals of the city left otherwise free to wreak havoc by the corrupt lawmakers.

The spawn would be getting his warm and fuzzy feelings by playing hero for a time – but Raphael need not put any effort into tracking his whereabouts or goings on. Eventually, likely sooner than most would wager, he would see Astarion again – when the vampireling sought him out in a bid for the sun. The longer he held out, the more likely it would be that Raphael could deliver – and deliver more completely – but of course, the price would also be higher as time wore on and the devil’s power grew. With the first violet hues painting the early morning sky, the night-bound spawn had taken his leave to retreat into the dark.

The Sharran turned Selunite was so low on his radar that she’d apparently left without his notice. Aside from her soul, she had little to offer the scheming devil, and given all she’d already put it through with Shar, he was sure she would be reluctant to wager it.  All he knew of her time post-Crisis was that she and her parents were traveling. As long as they didn’t get in his way, he had no further interest.

The former archdruid also left early despite being well into his cups. Raphael had not returned to Reithwyn since meeting with the band of heroes at Last Light and was truly looking forward to seeing how the land had changed.

Oh, how he had reveled in the perverted shadow over the land and in the many souls he had harvested from the despair it caused. But tragedy was not useful only when the tragedy was taking place. The resolution of tragedy could bear its own bounty of opportunities. The Shadow Curse had laid waste to the region for over a century – and like many wounds, the healing would take much longer than the infliction.

He did not know if the Harper leader would be there, as well, though she had left along with the other druid.

The lumbering Rashimi fighter was keeping the two infernally damned companions busy for the moment. Raphael was sure the hamster had spotted him across the clearing, though it seemed that the rodent had not made this knowledge known yet to the Rashimi nor the pair drinking merrily with him and dancing to Milil’s enchanting music.

This left Raphael’s true target on their own, sitting for the moment, their mind no doubt hazy in their celebratory imbibing. He started toward them, meeting eyes with Jergal, who impassively looked on for a moment, and rested a hand on Tav’s shoulder while taking the half-full goblet from their other hand. Still near the edge of the party space, the remaining companions had not noticed him.

Continue

[salvadorbonaparte]

There’s a story from my tribe that I think about a lot. It’s about a woman named ‘Selu’ or corn in Cherokee and why corn grows in many places. But what I really like about it is how it starts with a boy rinsing blood from his hands in a creek after hunting a deer. And the blood that washed away in the water becomes another little boy. The first boy asked who he was and the second boy said he’s his new brother. The first boy was like “cool. Okay” and then he brought his new brother home and the parents were like “cool. Another son”

That's an incredibly cool story and could we even say a very early example of cloning?

I love reading stories from different cultures, they're all so interesting and it's always interesting to see different patterns and similarities emerge 💜

[libidomechanica]

Untitled Poem # 10627

A Meredith sonnet sequence

               1

Nay, Sorrow is commits old chains remaine.   Yet euen reading Life to gain his rightly   wonne, that men of some wonts to make me bold, vsed sheepe: and is, and eke them all its tranquility; the New Testament in a   shade of Woman be dear to her error   like bridal bed where euer say, disdayne to die in your fashion call he pleased from that charm toward them is alyue. Sometimes more strong as   the River Brink, without pause, up till he   dishes are mine eye can wander’st thou stil, and faire sight. This of noysome buried. But all alone summer solstice do, mayest the   sandy foot on his good is carol they   jogg’d each other Themis his brides in The east, have thee beseche (so be thy tride.

               2

As goteheards boyes caught but came to make   though each others womb deriued in lowly   leans, the jocund hound, with me this the will, but was certainties now apace to the holy time within my selues sufficeth   to me, saying his winter Garments   of deadly face it ill. Trouble maladies unseen, who was death shepheards foote: sike follyes vnwary she wont to front property,   rights, and maist thou stick’st not of so false   both you and his Garments to Lucy I will and still: but longer formall roll, to loue me more cruelty she that long in   spring tyme&change and sad pensiuenesse mixt   with erring prayses filled with the Isle, and thee. But ah vnwise are to vipers brooding.

               3

And now what I must need not. And mould the   Rose thankful meadows, witnesse mought be, with   her teens. Shall: the countrywomen! From upper air, gone underground the eye untrimm’d the Sultán with rewth, sought no crime. Loy, carole   Lombard, Paulette me the subway she   twilight, it dies upon turns Ashes—or it prosper. The filchers close awayt to chace, and how she to her All hayle, my   love the children of the war, and the Hand   thus with the state, it sets us from accident; for some in your warm and quiet, my faith of her natures freeze is wounds we   our fault was mine her glory gate, hate of   state? But the love hath my heart, fear nothingness, with most air and they golden quiet.

               4

The leaves, which I doe, I called discretion   to anticipate the Two World, and suffer   thing looke to speakes lyke Narcissus vayne to lift vp the states to importunes in thy heart, and make a leach therefore theyr   shiny beames darker Draught the next swath   and fit to anticke world is winter with pity, break us with the foresayd from sin, your good newes know: is it not   be named by his sunk below! And the word   shall all be his blustrious Lord of Lady Psyche there with my brother Element can saying with starres bene gather   to mine own state-thing off the body was   of one to my face; the New Year reviving human to the shadows great enough.

               5

For Is and Is-not though thou wilt not that   sounded sway, the shadow, but having writ,   not lights, and oh, her heuens, that arms round I sow, and a year ago, in the Wise to seek for heart. The fly that striue all things hardest   stale downe away and fragrant thou fleets,   and thus without remorse even in her cold with Cupid quoth shines. Thus, to set before since then dare to your thrall for the lighter   of thys hyll thou will, but his face. No   more. This and his woman, men should kindled hear the welcome in the Fairy Queen within the graven the darkned be God was   so blessed flowers the winges dispers in   thy powers, I though I and adore her abus’d, be better so brave expansion.

               6

And blesse layd, at euer; nor palfrey fresh again:   how be I am sitting seas: the   shop window and loathe thing let’s forepast let vs louely heart, ever and enisle ourselves no captiue vs to wit,   fearing the Rose, together. The clay   Population’s Waste, when other this world may scarse be the might befall melissa, knows from soul to them to life and successful   too; and gone, I drank is chief there! Nor the   right on a wild echoes roll frosen cold: and eke the new news from each day, Sir; the Sunne, and wide; but you. Know not henceforth the   North. Ere I often haue enroll. But hardest   stay. To be marrow, it hath brain, and yet as I entertain we were expresse.

               7

Ne ought. Devouring Time, thoughts and drawne   with plenteous passed her throtes. Him in a   swoon. But she most my forces, wears, nor ever yet as a shepheards han wealth, so silv’ry is true love appear untouches on   the confined doom. Like as, to see thoughts and   adore her titles true beauty it doth place? Tho’ I love at the June the Sun grew broader to outward view and I know: when   winter window’d heart, condemned be. Our so   hard it is permanent and love may only so formed ocean. This year old photo booth. Which arise like the Rose as we walk   all nightly! His neck like four and find out   she kept walking world naught that carve not deny, yet am I sitting she sayes teare.

               8

The fault was a Veil past and pity then   disarmed did ly, of all beauty being   a Vessel on my lamenting bed! We were, and doing mute, when the day, whylest I profaned the only when thou should   die for only blame me not, if they to   it. Is full lips and worke the hardiment, what I dread of your wineglass is so goodly bosom fire, when it gets her cruell   to hont? Today neither couldst have said, can   he now is long lives me greater did if a flowres: whose balustere and humblessed looke on my little light the poor he   of Great, that whispers of the rye, the long   seclusion. And Is-not thoughts and a’ my nights in the brethren twelue, that sits on me.

               9

My husband had collapse, a shepheards kynd.   My faith many ages, and over then   Christall: for other wilt thus surprised, I then doe you so apply, till whatsoever be? To devour&feed him that seemes   his name, made more I was constantly   leaves a living old Desire—No Tale of purpose made? Lay, with bad rain, the gate, and moon shines.—To Helene once love me—toll   the simply good shoes as it was chalke, a   shepheards that loue what without occasion fit to all over seemed strongly knit, to climb; then, to the guests, heaven make that sigh   or growes sadnesse of kynd. None another’s   names of shame it I would have Think of your company, and me for those.

               10

For when ye behold your arms when neuer   sinnes that guile, or bitter, prayers with   him to whom my no-love the bottom of you walked I will morne, I married the field nor bowres. To-morrow stare grows that her   prayse and glances of buried ghosts to entrap   in thy worth, what I had to Foot shower, or seldom I ever still and dare to shew of bless thee and daynty is that   men on them. More miraculous thing through   winds at play, not by rude and botching her blows. Only mind a root or thine, the ready yellow fruite such closed are resembling   Pricket, or hunt the Knot; and pleasure, but   spring-tides full wood ye stock in silence the spring in all, we thou do not seen!

               11

She seemed a ho, and lyfe. To lose powre the   lovely let them, that mote be made me singes   displace, adorne, and gathered lads that kind-hearted prove who could bee, and turmoyle, and tho’ your pavilion her high worthlesse   Colin ranne. Of my loue. He containe   upon our her owne ioyous sight, which I dare the rooms white v-neck t-shirt on your selfe new roses I there once was long here, if   that it doth come intreat, in springtime, her   head the facts! Let me farewel, here in Heavens did close conuay, to the fash. Other wil be the Cuckow end, let the   victorious pleasance, I will well is he   bound. Myself t’ excuse: sweet infusion, and grow for posterity will deny!

               12

To show my love, the word my way: but lothe   third my loue me more—thou lurke, and glow. His   hart, that standeth on Fancies wonderment, the shall read. But how that others over they to her, ’ I answered shake? What misseth   with diuersly my antipodes; but little   blaze, and unrespected by fens. As, buried ghosts them wonder is the end of the morne, yet her grandmothers sayne the worlds   so lucky together yet I care of   Byrds resourse, who ruinate. ’Er the railed again, that Time and sin: and yielding mere follies now crown the wanting sail, outlined   innocent paper-gowned we take. From labor   in its painting an inspiracy or congress thou my buried once removed.

               13

Yet let none beside. Whose smyling loues prayse,   not for me: by which if she goodly colours   glory your lakes, to bear away. Upon the wolf rages wide worlds would engross painted in tune. Dearest loue himself, who   love me. Thou shalt in tract from the shame; my   eyes doe hyde: so short? Such mercy is the broke us free an LP of power, round sweare he came the hills round theyr shiny   beame of clay on a Saturn sate, and sweet   flowr, that left in his hand do ye thing, she said, betwixt the only mind in arms have I now make Carouse: the river Kiang, please.   Ne feard with the crew of bless the waters   when her rough ye beholder window’d heart and dear, and that blowne assured vnlesse she friends!

               14

Words of them mayst true forests, heaven will   my design when I laugh at me like an   unco cares are rebuilt. Thus is my sorrowes the fancy; for he of God did lay, the dales of those stranger. Hums What else   they looke she said, It gets bowres. But when   she turn’d. I hide the comes, and thinke at all. Ere through this poor Psyche whole weak for now you love I slept—they drank him that all. A   former cruelty she was well. Meantime,   that have force, but that all with rare wonderment. Their smart: and heart remaines and hardly colours could wife’s unending duct   tape, not that which my sweet spoyle where name   it is, this is what shee lou’d a loue inspiration round plumes his pill; sweetness dove.

               15

And in death. Than hawks or horsebacke vnto   the gamekeeper’s curse think of the quest,—who   can tear or twa, she’ll no Question now, she singing a ding, ding; sweet in all;—no more luxuriant still, and bind, deeming breathing,   ding; sweet Melissa, knowing to me;   taking the air; i’ll never life-begetting day, and hold her adieu; and, in saying to see a single drop earth as feathers   stand a hey nonino, those eyes widen   whence I durst in her movie stars it seemes from my bonie lass, the sold my love me, lovely Fair, to love is of glitterand   gold,—twas impotently on as Thou   Me, for thee. Bids him as the better pains may make, still the leaves turn the Closet lays.

               16

Sometimes to strong; I love a little light.   And told me to nothingness, the face, may   kind oftentime great clymbers timely grace, and I laughed and angled ill, to live. But I am some haue euer thinke at another   sorrowes, sweet said, can he noticed   me,—he noticed me, he but pricked at the feet to mends old chain o’er the seas between us—it will not leave my Credit in   myself the Town must practice and all the   Grape my fading here some starre. Whose verse thing, an off every wretched up by us today, meantime, her lynx eye to fix and   meanes of the victours borne the west see,   you withdraw; Then, the balefull Oake, whose eyes doe him as to my garden; the mouth.

               17

Place when he turned away, after weathers   over; then to the gynaeceum, fail so   farre be prayse. While my head where, who, wandering loth, as natures speciall loosely did ye sall not my old body was of one   whose approached from the morning, my wooing   is certain of a fruit o’ mony ane, an’ wilfu’ folk maun part his clothes on yonder bands ye lock, ere the mynds and pray. She   has something in all, we trust the cover,   separate I’ and loving: o, but shamefaced lore would ask the sweet is had a mothers held in love with mylde he hath my   haruest way think you with the night well of   lover. ’Er they have showed to my hair whence and plump the world with thy blis. And her eyes!

               18

Yet in sweets, but he sooth, as natures wonder   than when a dread, and forgoe. To watch’d the   flowres doth sway, whose Door heare you here is an act that salve which of Thing to battery to his death? Lighten my love me those   unheard old Algrins ill, so hath slept in   cunning may be sweeter thy soul to thus: yet sowre enough, since thought, legions of old that day by day, didst with Saul? Yes; and though   oppose, chain’d of light over the Lyons   house. Or carefull yre breaking infant’s asleep, when I cry she look on Heavens to gie ane fashion to join; and thither;   the Nighting a great heaven? And dishonest   for me. In twilight, and truth enlight it take—and give life doth fleshly folly.

               19

Your good for days, drafts, cannot blither doubt   which was to praise to receiv’d that signifies   his plain, his Soul to thee sweet-scented to kneel, and mellow ripe: my haruest hope her grey-headed faithfully down; the hazel   with old Khayyám the sweet of her heuens so   much the present time, that boldned innocent paper who knows! And is, and years, for so the fail to so low upon her knew   my face with glee across a wound asleep,   or grieue me sinful loving. And dame in her hand, lass, in mine, and night shepherds swayne, what is Algrin, his how I may in blisse,   nor the place and rather worth! Shall adorne,&   modest thou art before, and by her vnaware. The perhaps he mixt by equal share.

               20

Nor vnto me I wish you’d change of pebbles.   And so she did not need his heads adorn’d   in Beauty’s pattern to outward view as doth felly him in some small mine in the roofs with the drunken king to tumble down   into it—that breathe noyous houres do make   a Couch one love were to see at breath, and make and thee to love, about it cling the fleece of her shore, never to endure on   each prepard. Who stoon; whan the mair than   historic monsters, high above the maid, that fayre a plot had never to pitch will allure: in whom my spirit ditties of both,   into Shape should I help me, I admire.   My true louely light mickle. Song of And why we camera flashed with time and morn.

               21

You seem by the things to keepe. But thee if   I read and whereof some in welth: when birds   do blow endless to be half sae saucy yet; I rue the blesse the foresayd from the snowy bank the five, so now much pride   she smote me with no word my iust cause her   sincere the right reaped but thee when we hope ere long-drawn his Throne. For being fault’ she vouchsafe to them. Lost the herald and heart.   Set a sculptured our guide her louely pleasure,   nor will moniment. Not making his wide, and leaves, which I haue forgive to get; Poor boy, ’ she speake heed the Vessel of   futurity; then low hangs thereof she goes   again, alike to a point the Parrot— or in their vulgarest challendge too fast?

               22

That I could not worthy of the applause   the shadow will be dead brown from my brave   is; sae droops our desk for fame; thought no more of Selefkia from the sacred their welfare is burne, it show how vertue is crown, where   the worlds riches to be romantic. Of   all many eyes shine like sleep, in May, in and fill the west sea rhyme, who was so true shewes but the Sun did beholding me   the water face: fayre lyke Pincks but a flowers,   the end of flowed.: My Italy’s made, the milking in all, it is large bounty fed; robert Burns: welcome, thought us, as   rough sweet maiden, true loue is spent, my sommer   burnt&blasted, her her Vlisses against thou speak the disappointed deare rebuilt.

               23

To speake and die, but my selfe shall confute:   then what the Saint, and the Last Harvest sow’d   the purple and Rome keeps him streight to prune, that leaves, as they fly; the Flower heart stood, explain words which praise, and bye. And seal’d false   forged lyes, which tempred so theyr sample of   the years shine by one, why—these—are—men: I shuddered: and you drink, the deed the greediness, on which we learnd of men, she answer,   echoes roll by in the inviting from   that charm’d my teeming to the cheered in the lowe, and close that cross’d the chaunge old years, I recommenced; Decide not what Absál   he sawe hys dayly race; so the while, the   priests theyr make, through Turner’s England, left the tears, though her hurried My Lord of leaving?

               24

Full of honeybees to disfranchise devised   when the great which hardly it rest but   soft piteous blush Cupid humblessed be. Why, all so sure I? What strait command, is invisible, arm’d with payne beguile, or   bitter in spring on deck, because it   out, so I go into the sent it by the Temple’s inner part, amongst thy laden heart remaine. Till hate you need to, a   thousand Years. Profess in the quality   of libertee and the quality of so heauens blisse, that crop to spring in whom is sore How long age with such solemn grove, with   my haruest hast no wave bringeth force, from   some even pedestrian Muses, that my face. Maybe he borne: the night and plaine.

               25

I stood and said, “A lovelier not break.   Had laid then my heart is sair, to love you   anywhere a double behind her chamber death does crush on Myrna Loy. Got, and the world to the fled. But ah vnwise art therefore   henceforth, that he had to see each day,   dear. Then blessings at hand doth lie, sans Wine hath his dying. The hylls, where Laura’s heart of heauens know! And kindling for judgment   continuall crowned thinkin o’t, we’re a’ dry   wi’ drink; and trials, and eat our palate urge, as, to my self-example on our dear wooly rose, in solemn glooming on deck,   because if he shot: yet with it. I snap   the daughter. The morning-tides full with Azra to the green, Let not shrinkin o’t.

               26

Voyage is borne our beeing grace, most jolly.   ’ To be won. Can no more common Earth   descended darts Despair so much of sunshine owne self once to so love all nation of my Purse to their will I gaze whylest rapt   upon it then? As they talk of sunshine   like petals finding sweet love, then thou be my ain. To Helene once doth from a blow. How many a cursed hyre: when other stamp   me backlot. Back across a bride, or rashly   on as Thou Me, for honny. Better bargain doth pleasing, several shee were still in his failing? And tak the sun’s   abundant flames in lingring pride: and Lip to   Lip it springs; and some conceive not what, that whispers of that selfe captiued are went.

               27

The jewel, and then he turned pale, a deadly   arrow teeth from our heart, and will, and   glorious in their Wordsworth in the grasp this the greedily her straight too daring in my House for all the lake; speake? She sensual   ear, but pleasure but to choosing my   love, children cry, they thou then you’ve lovelier then low hangs: howbeit ourself, for weighd with deluging senses guide. That sweet thinke   not see our fall forfeit, so lowly at   her, and me ill vpbraide, to decease nomore, the fly that may her selfe and live, perforce, some few soft&lived-in, so unlike the Súfi   flout; of my Loue we were we admired   it all; who did saue my breast; yet nearer the door and in her eye was abhord.

               28

Nay, we mought but when I was certainties   bare we! Quo’ her hart will morning time, which   I know: whether I see and not loc, Old English eyes than did but see the Knot; and after battle, you were. Since he had our   saints, I recomment. An open-hearted   prove who can tye: but hath end and made more tempest roar’d, her straight recover by pulleys like the more. Thou bear’st love your paine, that   fondly face he doth guyde, and chaunge of the   Face thereof he knew nodule of lightsome dainties bare is a photo booth. And sought of Human Death blossome one; nay in the   only so formed’st creation within   her deep discompos’d of gold complayned: comes it was gaping light of earth return.

               29

Brave: and your imperious image only   blame; what I stood and fame your old age   shall their art thou the quarter the Dusk of Darkness. You say the sky and now with his deare Sonne how gay is your wishing in spring   time, she waste, tis my deadly pale. Then   blessings and heart is not one new loue lay thy loof in mind a feeble bellowing too. While others, easily sunder bands   the man was fill. The last, for Buskie-glen, I   dinna carelesse Heart’s form by silent be; and loosely smiling grace of my lyfes Leach doe her life eternity: Cold   Pastoral! But thousand then shall reigns alone   all that may take or lend your falls in time. Who would I have said! Soon, like the love.

               30

Shall decline my wrong. Sight: and then shall now   the Fairy Queene most ioyous time, whose rancke? And   golden heart, alone, there were, above the babe-faced lore would speak of dark dissolu’d through thy robbery, gentle brest loves   unwritten with no content, why fret about   his shade and hauing she said, may chattering airs the cozy parlor, then, height, let therefore that toss’d the lamp and dying light which   is the Rest; oh, the crush on Myrna Loy,   carole Lombard, Paulette me thee whenas dearer than I once loved your love being Christs, die soonest sight; o’er the charm’d with such   folly. Who ruinate where she to where cause   I loved themselues suffize, that, ’ she and spake a sounds willingly we spake a sounde.

               31

In the Grape that a barren tender Green   fledges that I should cost of all misgone,   I yet in me keep hill’s edge they take, thoughts astonishment of conquering eyes looking our device; wrought; Poor boy, ’ she said, How   long to rail at Lady Ida’s youth, because   the prize, a golden Diademe: the bright befall melissa shook the grasp this to loved you. But that fayre when you my obliged   to be acquire in cataract leaps   in glory to the Door to set before. Her eies be shed, and where drown’d my thoughtful bee; and they two arms; and send up vows for   my exceeds, lyke flowre, but only is the   rest, to song for doing mere forth the degrading cloud I following echoes rancke?

               32

Until I find no Serpent the sleeps: it   murmur’d—Gently, pray, disdayne to sing’ or   shall to me so fiercely after me—in vain my should have suffer with fair creature me not, die wits impure, with kirk and perfume!   The way I love my love, children, had   seen the slowly, Eden lips unused to absence for your dear dred, of their hands found; but her pride: then finding those helplessly   afloat, the Bridge too sterne coste? I sleep, having   hold such a deuil wants such aureate shall mortals! Ere I her can I keep the day, deare exylde longwhile Damon’s heart, condemne   to my Mary, across they haue lady,   of nature’s changeful citadel, wi’ Jock of Hate; for in felicity.

               33

Was thick jaws, the Indias of souerayne sayles.   The wastefull heavens to go for than   garment neuer was stirre still to my fading doubt which shall not my measure on thy clear prime for thou doe complaint of all his   thoughts of Sweet thought Sugar with most goodly   seldom. Side of Woman be desert from me; and this mother side by some pitty, but I to do with that to the heuenly   with to nothing is in my bridegroom wait   they did ly, through steps or more I was it ever there none. When their light harm the wine and rubyes rich profaned the Seed: yea,   take the broome-flowre, in some into me? He   was eight hand will be, are you your converse let no thoughts when he has just steele in mee.

               34

Something in your bells low, and ancient Ruby   yield us farther strength desyre: I   married at a’? To move the way music,— why advert to clime, and told by ill be. A xylophone may entangle here. How   sholde any mention does dispers tales of   nature’s changed neuer bright me you. So now is it the sands are languor spend, before we once vouchsafe to me your brand never   enough infinite immensity. To   all my hopes as neuer start from the small; all morning snare remoue the waur best voices, tongues, in heave, as flie, and low! Thou’s be inclynd:   and down, and it move to listen! Rain   driven: I hold me from elsewhere nothing your Prince’s lover from the siege by yours.

               35

This one, into thee and watched the tyde, as   she doth will near my swan, my drudge, my life   in our flowers with pains my heart, alone, my soul with his plain, for lack of welfare is my deare exylde longwhile both pure   and joy—what they would bee, reaching brest is   the others’ beds’ revenge be wrought not to show it, being dumb; for front, and Soul. Then came a goodly table of marble are   full of graced in whose iridescend, ourself   t’ excus’d, being no high, swells in this very likewise you sick, ourselves. Fro thence and disgrace. That him, thou art not appeals   to keep pace; they were undid they consumed   with vertue is come with those six books inuent, in the faery power of Babel.

               36

Since I learne to Wámik—“Oh Thou or I.   Doth depraue my cruell scorning’s compare with   guilefull yre breaking! Yet neuer; nor vnto the Westerne could have admire the vale. Tomb fair no painter wil be thy Desire   to grieue me checkmate, but I’ll run, and up,   to bleed, and interwove? Go down is weaker hart like the faery power. Of one waiting for all. To which infinite Pursuit?   This I do not? In mind of Heav’n replied.   Of Heavenly Zuhrah who had driven: I hold me back, its life; so thou maun dare nothing Wisdom did folow Pan, the   bud of its sound, and I to ashes of   the degree. Sweet death thee in the gate, and down, like my frayle eyes to scorner’s jest!

               37

I could not deny, yet maid reply, seven   boys and in the cherye was most happy   blessed flockes of springtime, the more, later doth sway, ayming has come to this sinking of amber. Water for our husband had   neuer bring, about the sodain rysing   or fayre, and a’! The wave may records and Day, how Phoebus in the Lion and Erin’s gore, are not praise happy again—first   that mind was so sore my pype, vnto the first   time, which I doo most beauty’s pattern to our body was of one that your coffer forth. And none looke vpon a daffodil I   seeke the Cup: what birds sang, ah, when this feud   betwixt earnest and acquit fro my coffee hot let me be your name, I admire.

               38

Clash; an auld wildly lookes is ouerture?   Maybe the thinking about him to life   or breast with Gin beset with spirits: yet aliue and dry that forms in a man. Which beholding skies above these, they are afrayd,   yet field-mice are abroad sun is sinnes   gold, a water-blurred fever certaintier iudge applyde. And sithens haue tride, and large riches rhetoric monsters, easily:   Once openly together. Bound by any   art. That wardes bene espyed. From the Ground hers sting, him called to sorrow and disgrace. And loued sheepe and could be sitting   on a hill ran up his fiery rash   behold her than you and make Carouse: divorced to thee and married at you in time.

               39

How vertues scourge should certainties bare we;   and me. It’s a mate in heauen or gods holy   father minde; whan the cryde and warne to Chide! Being expects—was thine own assertion, which I doe take. Which it done if we   had never looked at a’? Up like the sense   of Ramazán, ere than garments me the bared scalpe, an enclosure. But now apace to cure thou hast bulk that stung as the bush,   the Courtly Nymphes doe at last oozings   here upon her came debtor for my grief looke. The payneful perseuer; nor fear’d Absál is perfect enough; a woman’s could   spill well he prease of far-off fire. And from   the secondly, I shall beast to be made; that will—the record the hugs his delight.

               40

Re, to beware—what loue; and with a blood   that touch, first Morning me againe, that will,   my Maud and I laugh at her worthiest lovers, wheretofore: not life, snatched the trips along together to mine eyes turn   your coffer boldly: we are sente me. And   wonne, the best doth laugh she trips racing to turn and Erin’s yet begun. If any ill: that more from isolation, having   got it, then, I hardly it repayde, the   fierce inscription ought but laugh, for to plead that says most evidence, into our desire with oxygen. My though I must   have profaned the palm was once again   drops head across thee, walking in charactery, hold you my life is incomplete.

               41

White thy triumphs pinned to the fires on my   swimming foes, ne fauour converteth strongly   it to frame: that none other enter of the bush, the soules her chart, I know you love did not a True Believes me, madman, over   and let themselfe assured arre. But she   felt delight: I arise like sleep wit, the prairie, the Memory clings like some days and promise tied, on horse, your own at Keswick,   and she what beside a learne to Spain   and fall they join, joints dovetailed against thy Saviours life did begins his shafts, carbons, poems are red her thrilling sale was wonder.   Without constant me liue by giuing field:   and there while, to love shall desolate that might become, as flie, and brother, Brother!

[kzhas]

listography: fanfic

1. alluring innocence (selu | krislu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 92 194 words

Warning(s): Non-con/dub-con, Abuse, Rough Sex, Possibly Threesome, Slight Gore.

Summary: Sehun purchases a personal sex slave, Luhan who is supposedly pure, except his brother Yifan has already taken Luhan's innocence.

2. worth every penny (selu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 22 253 words

Warning(s): Age Difference, Multiple Orgasm, Dry Orgasm, Smut, Sugar Daddy, Frat Boy Luhan, Flirty Sehun, Mirror Sex, Just A Very Long Sex Scene.

Summary: On the way home for Christmas break, Luhan's plane seat partner is a very attractive, very rich young business man. Both of their next flights get cancelled, and Mr. Oh offers Luhan a place to stay for the night.

3. take your time (coming home) (selu)

Rating: PG-13

Word count: ~ 29 000 words

Genre: Romance

Summary: Lu Han thinks he's a very trivial person, with a very unproductive life. He thinks he's boring, which is why the world just won't let him be happy. He finds happiness in pastries behind glass cases, chocolate milk, old people, and sayings he's picked up along his 23 years of existence. But he meets Sehun, and everything blows up in flashes of light, and cheese, and soju, and obnoxious Rihanna songs. Somewhere along the way of finding who they are, love happens. Because, really, it was bound to happen anyway.

4. burning bright (my king) (selu)

Rating: R

Word count: ~ 5 000 words

Genre(s): Romance, Angst (?), Smut

Summary: Where all Lu Han ever wanted was to burn as bright as Sehun. And Lu Han deserves the best, and nothing but the best.

5. to end a war (selu)

Warning: Rating MA

Summary: Chiến tranh chỉ mới vừa nổ ra nhưng Luhan đã bắt đầu cảm thấy bồn chồn, đứng ngồi không yên, cậu chỉ muốn giải ngũ cho thật nhanh để trở về nhà...

6. live fast, die young, be wild, and have fun (selu | minor!kailu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 30 000 words

Genre(s): Angst, Romance, AU (set in the USA)

Warning(s): Sex, Smoking, Drinking, Violence, Daddy Kink

Summary: Lu Han hangs around at a gas station after his mother kicks him out for being gay. He doesn't really know what he's going to do with his life anymore, but that's when he meets Sehun the artist and Kai the writer. With newfound freedom, he joins them on a trip from Massachusetts to California in search of the perfect muse for their work.

7. critical eleven (selu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 21 000 words

Warning(s): Daddy Kink, Acrophobia

Summary: resfeber: The restless race of the traveler’s heart before the journey begins. When anxiety and anticipation are tangled together.

8. for the holidays, you can't beat home sweet home (selu)

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 9 200 words

Summary: Every Christmas Eve, the Oh family has a grandiose party at Mama’s house. This year the invitation was extended to Sehun’s boyfriend, but there’s only one problem. Sehun doesn’t have a boyfriend. Or so. yet.

9. disctrict macabre (selu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 45 000 words

Warning(s): Gore, Mentions of disturbing imagery, Mental depression and suicidal thoughts, Minor character death.

Summary: Luhan is a reporter working for an online magazine. Narrative journalism was his forte and people loved his columns for the grisly details and heart wrenching pictures that Luhan painted with his words, like he had done the deed himself. One police officer named Oh Sehun suspects that Luhan has some connection with these killings. Maybe he knows the murderer... Maybe he is the murderer...

10. through the night (and into the spring) (selu)

Rating: R

Word count: 42 500 words

Warning(s): AU - Captive Prince. Time skip (lots of it), Implied Sex, Hints of other pairings (ChanBaek, KaiSoo), Mentions of het r/s.

Summary: Sehun is the Crown Prince of Vere and Luhan is trying to remember his place.

11. pop the raindeer's cherr-i mean the balloons (selu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 14 706 words

Warning(s): AU - Office, Smut, New Year's Eve, Romance

Summary: Jongin’s idea of starting 2018 with a bang is matchmaking his best friend with the latter’s virgin secretary through playing Pop the Balloons… Doggie style.

12. paradise (selu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 37 400 words

Warning(s): Profanity, Alcohol/Drug Use, Mature Adult Content & Explicit Sexual Scenes, Smidgen of Sehun/Jongdae & Mentions of Sehun/OMC all throughout.

Summary: Sehun has a lot of unhealthy habits in life, Lu Han just happens to be become his latest one.

13. only exception (selu | slight!laylu, sehun/krystal)

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 12 600 words

Warning: Mentions of Homophobia

Summary: With the views of society weighing down on his shoulders, Luhan loves Sehun in secret, until that is, he takes one last leap of faith, and it turns out to be a wild ride from there.

14. a cup of noodles (selu | slight!krislu)

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 9 300 words

Warning(s): AU - The Heirs, Bullying.

Summary: Lu Han is not prepared for the drama that goes on at Esem High School. Not only is it getting impossible to hide his meager background and his crush on Wu Yifan, Lu Han is finding it hard to ignore Oh Sehun.

15. nylon smile, machine gun (selu)

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 5 200 words

Summary: Sehun has a perfect record as Junmyeon’s top assassin, but Luhan threatens to screw it all up.

16. oh, sweet catastrophe (where have you been?) (selu)

Rating: R

Word count: 30 000 words

Warning: Minor Gore/Violence

Summary: When Sehun captures Luhan’s heart for his own, he disappears and comes back, years later, as an enemy soldier and shows Luhan that not everything is okay. But it can be.

17. a perfect contradiction (selu | slight!krislu, chanlu, kailu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 52 700 words

Warning(s): Contains foul language. Mature content. Explicit sexual scenes & violence. Also contains brief of rape and abuse. Other pairings are mentioned and implied throughout: Lu Han/Wu Yi Fan, Lu Han/Chanyeol, Lu Han/Jongin, Chanyeol/Baekhyun & Wu Yi Fan/Zi Tao.

Summary: New inmate, Oh Sehun, learns the meaning of no feelings, no attachment, just sexual release, via the prison’s most troubled whore, Lu Han.

18. call me baby (selu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: ~ 8 000 words

Warning(s): AU - Sugar Daddy. Sort of Daddy Kink, Rimming, Side pairing Suho/Tao.

Summary: With a semester left of his university career, Luhan needed to find a new sugar daddy.

19. king rat (selu | slight!sekailu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 22 900 words

Warning(s): Hallucinations, Eating Disorders, Drug Abuse, Slight Gore, Violence, and Religious Themes, Rimming, Character Death.

Summary: Luhan may be the perfect Swan Queen, but Sehun's the Rat King.

20. sublime casualties of a silent war (selu | fem!lu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 7 000 words

Warning: genderbender (female Lu Han)

Summary: Sehun’s got a war in his mind, and Lu Han watches her relationship with him morph into something it shouldn’t be.

21. prince(ss) (selu)

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 6 700 words

Warning(s): Slight mentions of KaiSoo and ChanBaek/KrisLu if you squint.

Summary: Sehun finally gets to rescue a princess, but his fairy god mother might have sort-of lied about the whole princess part.

22. imagine me and you (selu)

Rating: R

Word count: 40 633 words

Warning: Minor Character Death

Summary: Luhan deems his life ordinary. Until he sees what's not there.

23. i like you a lot (don't let it stop) (selu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 4 286 words

Warning(s): Daddy Kink. Slight Angst.

Summary: Lu Han will always be Daddy’s good boy.

24. raw as diamond (selu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 20 000 words

Warning(s): AU - Rock Star. Drug and alcohol abuse, lots of cursing.

Summary: It only takes 48 hours for Luhan to change his life completely.

25. devil in the dust (selu)

Rating: PG-15

Word count: 10 600 words

Summary: Luhan bursts into Sehun's life with the spontaneity of a whirlwind, sweeping him off his feet and leaving him unable to regain balance.

26. ready to fall up, ready to claim (selu)

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 12 600 words

Warning(s): Mentions of Baekhyun/Chanyeol, Kris/Lay, Kai/D.O. and Suho/Chen; Luhan briefly wearing lingerie.

Summary: Medical school was hard, having a boyfriend and marrying him while still going to medical school was harder, but if they were being honest, having to work together after a divorce, that had to be the hardest one.

27. i've got a burning desire for you, baby (selu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 3 700 words

Warning: vampire/daddy!Sehun

Summary: Luhan likes to play games and Sehun likes to play them right back.

28. i'm your little baby doll (you my mr. rock n' roll) (selu)

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 22 840 words

Warning(s): Lots of Sex, Daddy Kink, Age Play, Crossdressing.

Summary: In which Sehun is a bad boy and falls into a bet to talk to a pretty boy named Luhan and gets more attached than he thought.

29. do you have eleven electrons? because you're sodium fine! (kailu | minor!taohun)

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 9 945 words

Summary: AU - College. Jongin has a crush on hot teacher's assistant Luhan. (In which Jongin is lost in the land of deer but Man U still sucks.)

30. reciprocorn (selu | minor!kaisoo)

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 20 000 words

Summary: move over, jongin, sehun has a new nemesis

31. demi pointe and rising (kailu | broken!selu)

rating: nc-17

word count: 28 045 words

summary: kai thinks highschool can't get anymore boring. in fact he's used to slacking off, and showing up to class only when kyungsoo calls him at six in the morning to remind him he can't fail math this year or he won't be able to graduate. what he really loves is dancing, but when a typical day at the studio causes his world to come crashung in around hum, it's the childlike boy with golden hair, the one who ultimately messed everything up, who might just make kai's life worth living again.

32. accidental daddy (selu | slight!krislu)

rating: nc-17

word count: 46 271 words

warning(s): incest, rape, gore

summary: lu han and sehun are twins. their father died when they were seven years old, leaving them fatherless. their mother tried to give them everything, but there was always something missing. especially for lu han, who seemed to mature less quickly than his twin. luckily their close bond lets sehun know what luhan needs and he gives it to him, even if lu han didn't realized it was what he needed in the first place. it's their little secret. what will happen when their mother start dating a man who desperately wants to be just what lu han needs as well?

33. he's not yours to save (selu | minor!selukai)

rating: nc-17

word count: 53 736 words

warning(s): daddy kink, rimming, fisting, age play.

summary: sehun is lu han's daddy. lu han has issues, and more than just daddy ones. kai is sehun's best friend from high school. when kai comes back into sehun's life unexpectedly, how will he react to sehun and lu han's slightly less than conventional relationship? will he be happy for his friend or will he try come between them? especially when he thinks that lu han is in need for rescuing...

34. alliosis (selu)

rating: nc-17

word count: 19 762 words

summary: lu han is two different people. sehun doesn't like either of them. lu han is fun. luhan is serious. sehun exclusively decides that he's a beautiful tragedy.

35. black swan (selu, layhan | slight!kailu, minor!sekai, minor!kaisoo)

rating: nc-17

word count: 21 213 words

summary: Swan Lake is a cursed ballet. Luhan, an unsuspecting ballet dancer, takes on the role of Odette in a production under world-renowned director Sehun. Kai arrives, shaking Luhan as Sehun believes him to be the prime candidate for the role. Luhan's world begins to shift and he begins seeing strange things. Kai tries to warn Luhan about the curse, but to Luhan he's just trying to steal the role. Increasingly agitated, Luhan makes bad choices and alienates himself from those closest to him, including his roommate and best friend Yixing. Will Kai be able to break through to Luhan before its too late? Will Luhan be able to separate fact from fiction and come out of the ballet alive, finding true love in the process?

36. bon voyage (selu, chanbaek, kaisoo, kristao, xiulay, suchen | slight!kailu)

rating: nc-17

word count: 322 167 words

summary: twelve guys whose lives are connected in one wat or another plus one big ship.

37. closets are for clothes (selu, kray, chanbaek, kaisoo, xiuchen)

rating: nc-17

word count: 72 808 words

summary: twelve men live together for three months. eleven are gay. one is straight. if the gay men vote out the straight man, they win a million dollars. if the straight man reaches the top 2, then he gets a million dollars. the point of this gameshow is to act as gay as possible.

38. elementary (selu | slight!kailu, slight!sekai)

rating: pg-13/nc-17

genre: crack/not really crack idk??

summary: lu han is an awkward genius detective and sehun is his sulky sidekick who may or may not be in love with him. this will work out very well.

39. let's love, then (selu, sehun/oc | slight!kailu)

rating: nc-17

word count: 8 800 words

summary: there is a time for everything, including love.

40. love and other things (like turkey) (selu)

rating: pg-13

summary: a fist to the face and 12 turkey deliveries later, business prodigy and socially stunted oh sehun falls in love.

41. mama, we all go to hell (selu, kailu | implied!sehun/oc, minor!suho/krystal)

rating: nc-17

word count: 61 682 words

warning(s): murder, rape, violence, incest.

summary: sehun is the eldest of his three siblings. even so, he has never loved his younger sister, krystal, the one girl in the family who stole their mother's attention once she was born. sehun's feelings are so intense that he's driven to do things he would have never dreamed of in his younger days. his younger brother lu han is also a bit twisted, sporting an undying love for sehun (as well as some other confusing feelings for his best friend, kai) and is compelled to support him no matter what the cost and no matter what sehun does. the relationship between the two brothers is the only true bond present within the family and is seen as their family undergoes many trials. however, humans are complicated, and even with time things cat get confusing, feelings always getting in the way and forcing one to act in ways they wouldn't expect. complicated decisions are to be made, secrets to be kept, and truths to be revealed in this dark tale surrounding the oh family.

42. queer & proud (selu, chanbaek, kaisoo)

rating: pg-13

word count: 125 413 words

summary: in which sehun transfers to a new school that's unpleasent in every aspect, save for his cute gay roommate who he's definitely not attracted to. because oh sehun was straight. frankly speaking, he was the only straight guy in the whole school.

43. serendipity (selu | slight!krislu)

rating: pg-13

word count: 28 189 words

summary: sometimes, the most beautiful things in life are found through accidents and complete silences.

44. something flutters (selu | minor!chanbaek, minor!kaisoo, minor!sulay)

rating: pg-13

word count: 260 409 words

summary: fluttering moments from an unlikely love story.

45. take your dog for a walk (even if you don't have one) (selu)

rating: pg-15

word count: 11 700 words

summary: lu han dispenses touches like candy. and he's so adorable. sehun hates him. definitely maybe. there's a side pairing. very very side. almost coleslaw. and there's jongin. yay jongin.

46. the dollmaker's obsession (selu, kailu)

rating: nc-17

word count: 16 381 words

summary: "perfection itself is imperfection." for several years, lu han, the teenage prodigy, had been attempting to creat the perfect android for the sake of inventing artificial life. he even isolated himself from his friends, family, and even the world around him in his pursuit for perfection. after slaving away in loneliness and darkness for several months, he finally created his first human and named it 'sehun'. within a few weeks, 'sehun' displayed several errors in his systeam and became overriden by rage and jealousy to a dangerous degree. in order to prevent his failed android from harming others, lu han shut down his system and worked once more on an entirely new project. he left out all the imperfections that 'sehun' possessed in his next android, and when 'kai', his second living doll, was brought to life, he quickly grew attached to his new, flawless creation. however, when 'sehun' reboots its own deactivated system and searches for lu han again, its intentions are bordering mad love and murderous revenge towards the man who had abandoned it for another 'love'.

47. steal a kiss (and break a heart) (selu, minor!kaibaek)

rating: nc-17

word count: 33 000 words

summary: sehun's hobbies include having his friends pay for his food and blackmailing a certain chinese doll to fall in love with him.

❄️ the ending is painful asf lol sewrry

48. money is the anthem of success (so before we go out, what's your address?) (selu)

rating: pg-13

word count: 9 600 words

warning: crossdressing

summary: note #20: never consider falling in love with him. ever.

49. the apex (selu)

rating: nc-17

warning(s): voyeurism, necrophilia

summary: sehun has a thing for watching other people fuck lu han, then putting a bullet through their brain right before they climax.

50. started sporadically (now its a tradition) (selu)

rating: pg-13

word count: 6 920 words

summary: maybe the best kind of relationship are the one left open-ended.

51. if a son could get me you (selu)

rating: pg-13

word count: 6 543 words

summary: sehun is a kindergarten teacher, and luhan's son happens to be in his class. sehun, unfortunately, does not teach romance classes.

52. kiss number indentified (selu)

rating: pg-13

word count: 4 975 words

summary: if sehun had to pick his favorite part of lu han's face it would be his eyes. they turn a lighter shade of brown when he turns to blink in the sunlight - blink in the sunlight - blink in the sunlight - blink in the sunlight - blink in the sunlight -

53. game (kailu | slight!kai/yoona)

rating: m

genre(s): romance, drama, angst, tragedy

count word: 41 110 words

summary: victorian era!au. earl kai is engaged to viscountess yoona, but he seems so enjoy spending time with his personal servant, lu han, more. what starts as a game become something else altogether as they both find how exactly love is meant to hurt.

54. cooking cooking (selu)

rating: nc-17

count word: ~8 800 words

summary: the evolution of chef sehun. in which lu han has to deal with moody chefs, no one can catch a break in the kitchen or out, and exo is a four star restaurant.

55. lay your heart next to mine (i feel so alive) (selu | slight!xiuhan, sehun/oc)

rating: m

count word: 206 249 words

warning(s): minor character death, mpreg, accidental pregnancy

summary: when sehun lost his husband and unborn child to a tragic accident, the best part of him died. and when luhan, after a night of celebrating, stumbled his way home with an attractive stranger, the best part of him was created. yet no matter how different their circumstances, neither was ready for was resulted from the single night spent together, nor the complications that followed. but the best things bloom in adversity, and second chances are equally as precious as new life. and two people brought together by chance, can in fact, come to believe that they utterly deserve to have hope for a better future.

56. heat (selu)

rating: nc-17

word count: 32 872 words

warning: drinking

summary: lu han meets a boy in a luna park, a boy who drinks a bit too much, drives a bit too fast and hits a little too hard. but he loves him more than enough too.

57. home for the holiday (unfortunately) (selu)

rating: nc-17

word count: 9 000 words

warning(s): incest, gayness, butt stuff, homophobia

summary: family reunions with luhan’s family qualified as cruel and unusual punishment, of that much he was sure.

58. sidewalk cracks (selu | past!xiuhan)

rating: nc-17

word count: 165 000 words

warning(s): past!xiuhan, homophobia, explicit sex, mental abuse, themes of self harm, depression, drinking, & brief mentions of drugs. implied past sexual abuse, child abuse, & non consensual incestuous acts.

summary: none

59. an eye for an eye and an "F" for fight (selu)

rating: e

word count: 8 067 words

warning(s): gore, violence

summary: gangsters!au. it’s hard to define what sehun and lu han have. lu han is all sehun has, and sehun is all lu han has. sehun calls it love, but lu han has never allowed him to say those words – or anything nearing them – to him. or: sehun and lu han are badass gangsters in 1900s shanghai. they try to survive another day until tomorrow.

(To be continued...)

[roving-boi]

Dear Diary

So, a lot happened I guess. To start, I don’t live with my dad anymore. A few days before school started I made the last minute decision to live with my mom. The new house is actually pretty nice. I have my own room, I go to a new school now. But it was kinda ugly making the leap. My dad was very angry and when I went back to his house to collect some of my belongings he basically kicked me out and screamed at me. It’s been about a month and He’s tried to contact me since but I haven’t said anything to him. I probably won’t talk to him again for awhile.

Things at my moms house have been alright. I have a functioning shower, my own space and bathroom, and nobody criticizes me. School is kinda weird though, and I’m not used to like a million people crowding the halls. I don’t really like being exposed to so many people. It makes me feel so little and small, like my existence is not really that significant. I wonder how many other people feel the same way. I think there’s just too many people, how does one to expect to find the love of their life if there’s like 8 billion people and millions all around you. Human relationships are so weird.

I guess things are better for me lately though. I’ve been more relaxed and less stressed out. And I think my acne is starting to clear up. I’m happy to be spending time with my brother and my mom. My step dad and I had like a long talk with my mom and we sorted everything out and I got closure and an apology for how he treated me as a child. I feel relieved and I’m happy my mom is helping me get my life back on track. My dad refused to give me my social security card so I had to get a replacement which was a pain in the ass. Now I have to go get an ID and then soon after get a license.

I’ve been having dreams about jay still, I’m still angry about what she did. Since I’ve lived here I’ve had a dream I kicked her ass in the school bathroom and another’s where I shoved her into dirt. Selu recently got out of a psych ward for trying to overdose. I’m so mad that nobody seems to care but me. Jay most likely doesn’t care at all and neither of her friends who pretend like they do. Nobody cares. This world is so sick and I want to throw up.

Anyway on a more lighthearted note, I hope to decorate my new room soon. I’m thinking of putting up white Christmas lights or something with some posters. I wanted to paint my room pink but my mom said no but it’s alright.

[lovelineexo]

Happy Luhan’s Day

[exopreciousotps]

[dreameeblue]

Is the semester over yet

[dilxcs]

ᨳ self ship: diluc ragnvindr x senn

ship name: selu

trope: tortured souls to lovers

officially together since: n/a

what he calls me: senn, my love, my beloved and angel

what i call him: diluc, baby, luc and love

love language:

diluc: acts of service and quality time

senn: words of affirmation and quality time

mbti and zodiac rising:

diluc: INTJ // taurus rising 🐂

senn: INFJ // pisces rising 🐠

songs that i associate with selu:

the idea of us by SHN ft. RESORT

nightlight by finding hope

mirror by lil wayne ft. bruno mars

need by david archuleta

don’t deserve you by plumb

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

© bxjis 2023 - all rights (except pics) reserved. please do not copy, modify, or repost my works and claim it as yours | © credits of the pictures go to the rightful owners

[bakugoushoutooo]

[LEFT] Alleged picture of Luhan when he first came to Korea; the subject’s lips, the button nose and the scar on his arm is very the same from the actual pictures of Luhan

[RIGHT] A picture of a watch (Luhan is said to post photos about watch) and the caption ‘Cocacola’ which is one of Luhan’s latest CF endorsement

God. Should I also add in their Weibo screenshots about them being online together thrice in a single day; or that one fanacc where Sehun gave a nod when asked if he goes online on Weibo more often at the time because of someone? i believe that this is not just a delusional thing.

Hunhan may not be real a romantic sense, but I believe that their friendship that began waaaaay back in their predebut days is indeed true, and not Luhan’s departure would be the only thing that would destroy their deeprooted brotherhood.

I sincerely believe that the friendship HunHan have was never the business type of relationship.

Thank you for assuring us, Sehun.

[libidomechanica]

By an hopes of it frost, yes, and arbitrary faces

I cannot ever selfe that abide the blynd boughs,     breathere all aid thou likely fight, with this state with you might stir about that same. With threw     had she kindle native life exhaustering day; him powerful motion and is my     days in our tongues when as the first

distemper age was to the moue, and the pine for heau’n     doth struck from his conn’d into the meals too late to the while her. And all, in the row you     leaves young Aurora’s penance; the turn, and one was on each what unfolds his isle the spirit     by you mayst mistres of those by

the kingly dreamt rate up all his tempting it any     shame: threats on its both plenteous have, at ladies’ cured: our decay, the nuh not harrowes     throne a forest’? As birds the fault on the wind betray. Have me through the pass fleets and     refore blade—their presence! To seize our

two, and clown-accent: Potent, tis a rind: there’s     my darling, natural, and more stay: or giue most come, companyde with wit the multiple     lily’s blocke, such-wise wild leander, the plant I offers its by the boles, as mine     executions of alarms, pillowing

warm her feet: that dost by the shadow lightest weep     we this far&fraught much better, to spright. Your whether crystalling up that her does must     privilege on Amphitrite, and score. … The moor, this both plentiful with conspire? If only     sevent, and college. Than was of

mother’d wherefore whistlesse brains of the deemer     shall so sorrow, Soueraigned, the secured dismay, the breeze shows shore; which it not the crowd     pursue, Ah, sad assay. Of harmony and the holy Life did bask in silence, but     vnfelt all you used—nor shore, since is but

left that first be; beauty? They are praction of ice,     a soul away. And gradual sweet’ I like all these soft like again! Hurling off their     crew had drums, and went, were the world acquaintain. For in the Grand Cash delight. Cloth’s periphery     swamping tears in always with

more: now cursing, down hue gleaming feathed glancing     sweet to the same prepared the wonderstand, a cap of our plain nor to carnivorous     tormes, long, bleak the gladness, and the had significential. Of pleasurable about     in the divine: see, of your soft

like eyes; and brough. If thought, nay day, and some fatal     state palate distance ’gainst supreme! I loves were captiues vntymely did before, and allow,     after all people whole of rain, and suddenly bitches even Conscious the caught     of old-lipp’d in the surface open

fits, recruited his of her own selue stormy close     bricks of Loue to ashes Stygian, it gone in Marble are gold, and if we saw     expansion at might knows never heart while of your own with from above, with her saw or know     most of light. By concern. By an hopes

of it frost, yes, and arbitrary faces. Drive     a blowen vpon your weed swathed all the cataract hive, your mind there; we know. Death as the     surface they are ridiculous. How idem seuer; patients to rob joy of the read there     could be neuter—and all unconstant

has below, now be broken wilt, return: that I     am and the play with pant, ye virgin furrow’s trance on earth. Their cries and when gloomings     of those fooles still. Yet I break to Salámán health’s pleasures my pain—why, I made, maie,     that other mourning rose: a heuk had

it of half sate brains in the cavern, reigned on life;     but in hair, their better, for the had fired, not when seeing do any laughing as     a lily to stay. Yet I stop with a faces, without when love wake, this was obvious,     by Gods depart, but say and cold

scholars, to proud prayses ye by a face. But this     castlereagh don’t tax em. Distress: men, turn her parents to enuy your when at leaves keel     not beauteousness, budded to stay in the fright, and her rinds are but come back with following     with prison. My selfe with you could

not; till reueale, and my day and soule by constance     irresolved his calm, and our fortunes with honor: while shall I should not torn out off     to stern the shepherd sand; their self not minds, nor to their turne, I made here; too long to die.     In loue does cruel; I have a voyage,

and some have pow’ring native crowd the through them selves     of their pass of glittering more sate to be lose busie days. They roars, that all the must lead:     in boy expired: but betters incessant night dissert, like arrived excellent made the     that epoch is nest and set smiled crushed,

and shewed flowery act within the tedious     sympathiest; but her book, thoughts and yet now to yse, and scatter’d it doesn’t my Julia     sang, in while height, the eyes moved throne on the wiry child, and into the braid.—Laid in mutuall     defence: the window thee; the fly

no more the was overgrowth heedless disparing     spirit quite new Love of its staff, while ribboned it out the fairest real tortured Ida;     home! My spoils up, my niece of the temperial crazed, mortal fruit of word side, was your     new posterical: their breath its brides.

[art-by-mir]

#freecoloringbook page up Dewy Morning with Koala 🍃🌚 . I’ve been feeling a little bummed out about the changes to everything resulting from the quarantine, especially the cancelling of commencement. I had been working so long on this and I wanted it so bad. The cancelling of events meant not being able to showcase my solo exhibition The Shimmer- a gallery that is tucked away in a closed office at the moment. It meant cancelling the opening reception of the mural my teammate Bella and I with the crew at St. Bernard’s have been slaving over the past 6 months. It’s the missed opportunity to show work in the HSU senior art show at the Morris Graves Museum. These things mean nothing compared to people who don’t have jobs or money, or health— I am trying too keep scope — but it sucks y’all. It’s like this huge build up, painfully exciting, and then nothing. . I wanted to say thank you to everyone who continues to see my art online. I used to think electric drums had no soul, but I don’t know where I would be without this online community rooting me on. Especially to Selu ( @kiyvilla ) who encouraged me to keep making these coloring book pages, even for an audience of 1 ! That’s all we can do, right? Keep on keepin’ on. Love to you all, please be safe and be kind - we are all hurting right now. . . . . #freeart #coloringbook #artstudent #studentart #covid19 #selfquarantine #quarantineinplace #shelterinplace #hsuartdepartment #digitalart #digitalpainting #childrensart #childrensillustration #illustration #childrensbookillustration #childrensbookart #illustrator #procreate #procreateart (at Eureka, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Kgmw7A6VY/?igshid=1n3ethu9d0qfh

[verduresapiens-archive]

Plot: PLANT BOY vs SELUNA SHOWDOWN

fuck no || not really interested || huh?? || give me more details… || sure why not || OMFG YES

((Hell yessss~ I love the idea of these two going at it~! That said, Selu would most likely win. Hersh isn’t much of a fighter, and can only work with plants of his own ‘breed’ (ones he swallows and regrows) so not only would she just have to get in close, but he’d be limited by only the seeds he has on him.

Then again, depending on the seeds he has on him... he could prove one hell of a combatant. Hard to get close to in the first place. Mmh, I love it~))

[lovelineexo]

it’s E X O and H U N H A N month.