#Note 2: in typical fanfic irony i banged this whole thing out through the power of hyperfocusing at 1 am. go figure.

[primeministerofantarctica]

Mankai Therapy Company

tsumugi vc you guys need so much therapy on god

It started, like it always did, with extortion. 

Or rather, it started at a company meeting. 

“I,” Tsumugi announced, “have great news.”

“You’re getting married?” Citron all but yelled. Tsumugi choked. 

“N-”

“I didn’t hear Tasuku say anything,” Itaru muttered without looking up from his handheld gaming device, still managing to be heard by everyone in the room.

“I’m not getting married!” He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly before opening them. “I - we-” he gestured towards the Director- “called everyone in here to tell you that I was able to contact one of my old colleague’s practices, and they said they’d be willing to do business with our company at a reduced price.”

“Practice?” Muku echoed in confusion.

“He’s telling us to see a shrink.” Yuki said flatly.

“Only if you feel comfortable doing so,” Tsumugi curled his fists to keep himself from wringing his hands together. It was best not to show nerves in these situations. “I acknowledge that it is a personal choice and I won’t force anyone into this. However, if you do decide to take this opportunity, it’s now arranged so that the company will pay for your sessions in full.”

“Am I dreaming?” Tsuzuru blinked. “Did you just say free health insurance?”

“Holy shit, are you crying?”

“No!” He rubbed his eyes quickly. Kazunari patted him on the arm. 

“There, there, Tsuzuroon.” 

Sakyo cleared his throat. “I have a question.”

“Yes?” Tsumugi did his best to make his expression open and nonjudgmental. 

“Or a concern. Where in the company’s budget have these funds been allocated?”

Tsumugi’s smile was unchanging, not flickering or wavering in the slightest. “Sorry, let me rephrase that. Anyone who works for Mankai Company who wants to see a therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, or any mental health professional now can, free of charge, with any copayments covered in full. Is that understood?”

Izumi had to hand it to Tsumugi, the soft-spoken man could be downright scary when he wanted to be. Why was it always the nice ones? 

“I’ll be reviewing this on next month’s budget.”

“Great!” Tsumugi hummed. “Does anyone else have a question?”

“Yeah,” Taichi raised his hand, “why are you telling us to go to therapy? Isn’t that for, like, divorced couples and depressed shut-ins and stuff? I mean, none of us qualify for that, right?”

Tsumugi’s eye twitched. He couldn’t help it. 

“Hey, Tsumugi!” 

Tsumugi looked up from the script he’d been reading on the sofa, politely greeting Taichi in return as the boy opened the fridge and grabbed a soda. He frowned slightly. 

“Nanao, don’t you have school tomorrow?”

“Yep!” Taichi nodded as he popped the soda cap off and took a swig. “Uh, why? Is there something else happening tomorrow?”

“No, I just-” he looked pointedly towards the soda. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to drink so much caffeine before bed? Won’t you have trouble going to sleep?”

“Oh, this?” Taichi laughed and rubbed his neck. “It - okay, this might sound fake, but I swear soda and caffeine actually make me sleepier! Weird, right?”

“That’s certainly…interesting.” 

“Azuma, my dear, my camellia that blossoms in the moonlight,” Homare paused. “Were you, perchance, the one that moved my tea bags?”

“Hm? No. Why, are you missing some?”

“No.” Homare closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them. “I…apologize for the accusation. Thank you.” He turned around to leave before-

“Aha!” 

“Oh crap,” was all Tasuku could manage before Homare accosted him. “Tasuku, my Adonis, you wouldn’t happen to have moved my tea bags this morning, would you?”

“Uh, yeah?” He blinked. “They were in front of the cereal. I didn’t take any, though, if you’re missing some.”

“I’m not!” Homare reassured him. “I simply woke up to find the lavender and chai had switched places, and the lemon much farther to the left than it should be, which as you can imagine is quite a distressing predicament to find oneself in.”

“I…I really can’t imagine that, no.”

He hummed. “Well, if you do find yourself moving my teas again, please ascertain that they are relocated back to their original positions, would you?”

Tasuku didn’t have the energy to argue. “Okay, sure.”

Azuma chuckled. “Classic Homare.”

Tsumugi bit his lip. 

“Ah, Tenma,” Tsumugi slid a sheet of paper across the table and tapped on it. “This kanji is backwards.”

“Huh?” Tenma snatched up the paper and stared at it, blinking hard. “Oh…oh, yeah, you’re right. Sorry.” He winced. 

“It’s no problem,” Tsumugi smiled gently. “Let’s just correct it and move on, shall we?” 

“Yeah,” Tenma’s ears were still flushed, “yeah, okay.”

“I’ve got it!” Tsuzuru slammed open the door forcefully and marched in like a knight on a mission. A pale, scrawny, sickly looking knight with unwashed hair and dark eyebags. “I’ve got the new script!” He grinned maniacally. 

Itaru looked up. “Five.”

“That’s great, Tsuzuru!” Izumi smiled and took the packet, still warm from the printer. “I’ll read through this tonight and have my notes ready by tomorrow.”

“Are you okay?” Tsumugi asked. 

“I’m fine. I’m great! I’m wonderful!” Tsuzuru said, a little forcefully. 

Citron stood. “Four.” 

“When was the last time you slept?”

“I can’t just sleep, Tsukioka, what if I forget a line or piece of dialogue?” 

“Wouldn’t want that to happen,” Chikage muttered. “Three.”

“Still - sorry, what are you counting for?”

Sakuya just shrugged, half-smiling apologetically. “It’s just easier to coordinate this way. Two.”

“Coordinate what?”

Tsuzuru collapsed face first into Masumi’s arms. “...One.” 

“Taichi’s right, I don’t think any of us need that therapy crap. ‘Cept for Hyodo, maybe someone’ll find out why he’s so chronically annoying.”

Juza elbowed Banri in the ribs. He retaliated by punching his shoulder. 

“It’s a scam anyway.” Yuki spoke up before the fight could escalate further. “Therapy’s just a pseudoscience made to make normal people feel good about themselves by talking to a stranger. No offense.”

Tsumugi steepled his fingers. “None taken. On a related note, how many of you have actually been to therapy?”

Yuki looked away, muttering something about school counselors and zero tolerance policies. Nobody else seemed willing to speak up. 

“I have!” Misumi raised his hand. Tsumugi blinked, trying not to look surprised. 

“Really?”

“Mhmm! I think?” Misumi leaned back on the sofa. “I was really young.”

“What…how was it?”

“They gave me some toys to play with and asked Gramps a lot of questions,” he shrugged. “Don’t remember much else.”

“I…see.” Tsumugi said slowly. “That’s very…enlightening. Thank you.” He coughed. “Still, I have a stack of business cards here, so I would like all of you to take one.”

Banri glared at his card like its existence offended him. Kazunari flipped his over and shoved it into his pocket when he was sure nobody was looking. Misumi also put his in his pocket, but only after forcing the edges down to make a triangle fold. 

Tsumugi prayed that he made the right decision to be so upfront about this. Then again, it wasn’t like anyone else was going to make the first move. 

He had almost forgotten about it, a month later, when Banri stormed into his room and practically threw the business card at him. “Rurikawa was right, therapy’s a total scam. I want a refund and I didn’t even pay anything.”

Secretly Tsumugi was pleased that Banri had relented into going for a few sessions, but he forced those feelings down. “It’s normal to feel upset after a session. But if you feel like you’re being treated unfairly, you can always ask for another therapist.”

“Yeah, I’m being ‘treated unfairly’.” Banri rolled his eyes and sat down on the floor, right in front of him. “You still have your license, right? Why can’t you be our therapist?”

“That’d be an extreme conflict of interest and highly illegal.”

“Didn’t know we cared about the law,” Banri muttered under his breath. 

“If you want to talk, though, I always can as a friend.”

“Right, so,” he waved his hand flippantly. “I was just telling this chick about Hyodo eating my pudding with my name on it, and in the middle she looks me right in the eyes and says Oh, wow, you must really like this Hyodo person to talk about them so much!”

“Oh. Wow.”

“As if! I was just telling you how much he pissed me off, seriously, how dense do you have to be to NOT understand that?”

Tsumugi bit back several comments. “I can’t imagine.”

“Ugh. Anyways. This sucks.”

“Sometimes it does,” he said sympathetically. 

“Tsumugi!” 

He barely had time to blink before Homare’s fingers had interlaced with his, a quick kiss pressed to his temple. “Hello, Angel!”

“Hello, Homare,” he smiled, more than used to these random bouts of affection. “How are you?”

Homare glanced down the hallway quickly before leaning in close to his ear. “Actually, I do have a topic I wanted to discuss with you. Your knowledge on the subject would provide valuable insight on the matter.”

Tsumugi felt the back of his neck prickle. “What is it?”

“Do you think I’m on the spectrum?”

“There’s...a lot of spectrums, Homare.”

He tsked. “True. I- I initially assumed my therapist said I might be on the artistic spectrum, and I told them that I was a renowned poet on the literary arts spectrum, but-” he sighed dramatically, “they simply laughed and gave me a pamphlet to ‘read over’.”

“I see,” Tsumugi squeezed his hand. “And you read it?”

“I…I did, yes.”

Thank god, FINALLY, Tsumugi wanted to say. Instead, he very tactfully asked, “What did you think?”

“I am,” Homare frowned slightly. “Not sure. I’m afraid I must deliberate on the matter further before drawing forth any hasty conclusions.”

“Well,” Tsumugi kissed his cheek. “There’s no rush.”

Hisoka looked left, then right, then cautiously reached for the doorknob before-

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Chikage snapped, crossing his arms.

“There’s a pop-up sweets shop in the next town,” he yawned plainly. “I want to see it.”

Chikage narrowed his eyes. “I thought you were expressly forbidden from driving.”

“It’s only a few minutes,” he shrugged. 

Chikage’s lip curled. “Are those Tasuku’s keys?”

“He’s out jogging.” Hisoka answered. It was getting harder and harder to stay-

He felt somebody shaking him. “I hope you were planning on asking your boyfriend to drive you.”

“I can drive myself,” Hisoka felt a twinge of annoyance. “It’s fine.”

“Right,” Chikage closed his eyes. “Get in Chigasaki’s car before you do anything stupid.” He shook his head and muttered, “Of all the reckless…I can’t believe you fell asleep in the MRI machine-”

Tsumugi watched the door slam shut on Hisoka’s smirking face.