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tfw-no-tennis · 1 year

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tfc thotz

so ruth and I watched tf cyberverse, and since I love to talk, here are my scattered thoughts

so this show???? was super fun and good??? why did it take me so long to hear that cyberverse is GOOD

like, when it first came out/back in like early 2019 when I was getting into transformers, I watched a couple random eps and I was like Oh ok this isn't terrible but also its just like, episodic and aimed at kids and kinda fluffy. okay!

ok but clearly I was wrong bc this biz has PLOT, babey!

so yeah I ended up binging it w/ruth and I had a great time. I honestly enjoyed this show more than tfp, but I think it comes down to expectations - I expected very little from tfc so I was pleasantly surprised when my expectations were easily surpassed, and I expected something different/better from tfp so I was disappointed when it didn't live up to my expectations

anyways, my actual thoughts

I love the cast?? like I love how big the cast is and how the characters in focus kinda rotate around after s1

also I love how stupid everybody in this show is. god. like nobody has any brain cells, its just No Thoughts Head Empty at all times. like, shockwave called the seekers dumb, and that might be true, but LITERALLY EVERYONE is dumb and I adore it

s/o to bumblebee and hot rod, who are two wholesome frat bros trying to find a third frat bro to hang out with without that bro dying (rip blurr and cheetor)

also so many people die in this show???? like holy fuck. I was not expecting this amount of permanent, on-screen death

like when blurr gets fucking thanos snapped in the Spring Break Gone Wrong episode (which I think was one of the ones I watched back in 2019), I was like oh damn okay, but he’ll be back cause that's how it goes w/a show like this.

NOPE he’s dead for good. and like so many other characters die and stay dead, and that honestly caused actual suspense, bc it was like oh daym anyone can die and they'll probably stay dead unless they're starscream whos impossible to kill

that's also another plus of a big cast - they can just murder people left and right. like starscream murdered like All the seekers at one point but there were more on cybertron so its fine I guess lmao

also I like that there's a lot of female robots? and they’re all different and unique which is cool

also, no humans! I don't necessarily hate humans in tf stories when done right, but there being no humans in this show allowed it to be a lot freer in what they did w/the plot and lore and characters, which I appreciated

like, I remember when that netflix tf show was announced and it was like ‘ooooh a show set on cybertron without humans, baller!’ but I have like 0 interest in it after the stuff I've heard about it lol and meanwhile cyberverse was just doing exactly that - focusing on the robots, no humans, a lot of the show being set on cybertron

like even when they're on earth there are like...no humans anywhere lmao they just don't care about the alien robots fighting I guess

except for that one segment where they show humans like, filming them & reacting and stuff, which was funnier and better than 90% of human-tf interactions in other tf media

oh and I fucking LOVE the time jumps in this show. cyberverse does NOT care about exposition at ALL, they'll just jump right the fuck in and expect you to catch up, which I adore

like, the fucking s2 premiere. at the end of s1 they found the ark w/all the autobots and also megatron & co are heading for earth....then s2 starts w/a smash cut to the fucking moon where all the autobots are fighting all the decepticons, and we get a super brief summary of what amounts to half a season’s worth of content - the autobots waking up, the cons arriving, the humans finding out about the alien robots, the autobots allying w/the humans, the fight continuing, etcetc. its like we jumped in at the mid-season finale, and I LOVE it

there's also a lot of tf lore stuff, which I love! like, they have the allspark, the matrix, vector sigma, titans, caminus...I feel like they throw a lot of lore at the audience with minimal explanation, which I enjoy as somebody who knows the lore well enough to not be confused by this (not that I think it would be confusing for non-fans, they do a good job explaining what needs to be known)

also loved that they never like, formally introduced most of the characters, they were just There suddenly lmao. that way they didn't have to waste time w/episodes dedicated to establishing their personalities and whatnot, and instead we just got to see what they were like ourselves - which now that I think about it, that harkens back to g1 where character would just randomly appear cause there was a new toy so boom new character, but they wouldn't explain it or anything hbhvsdkfbjaskd I love transformers

I love Hot Rod soooo much I'm so glad he was in this, he’s my fuckin BOI and he was so so good in this

also I can’t believe drift was here but was EVIL ALL ALONG and then DIED that was crazy man

oh man also optimus and megatron. I love this optimus, he was so cute...like, he was clearly most comfortable while fighting and giving inspiring speeches in the heat of battle, but the rest of the time he was kind of awkward and just really cute and polite, I loved that

and megatron was SO hammy lmfao and he & optimus are clearly going thru the world’s messiest divorce but they don't REALLY want to get divorced and that's why its taking so long

but really I did love how the autobots and decepticons actually sat down for negotiations? and the autobots were like pshhh yeah this happens every so often, and things are going ok until BAM everyone's fighting again then its back to business as usual.

I just really enjoy that interpretation/approach to the war, it’s so interesting. it shows that both sides are aware that fighting eternally isn’t the best idea, but also that neither side is willing to back down on certain points, which makes peace difficult

OH MANNN and I fucking LOVE how we got to see pre-war cybertron??? with everybody just hanging out, pre-faction...that was such a delight

seriously, I love that episode about maccadams where it shows the slow slide into conflict...that was so great

one detail I especially loved was that bumblebee was all starry-eyed over megatron, not optimus - like the part where you see megs and OP sitting together at maccadams and bee is like oooh windblade I gotta introduce you and you think he’s talking about optimus but NOPE he’s talking about MEGATRON

also another thing I love is that this show is like. rlly funny. I definitely laughed more than I expected to, there were some really solid jokes

OHHHH I love that they have a sport called CUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love cubes SOOO much such a good shape 😍 and in that ep when windblade is all like ‘ITS CUBE!!!!!!!!! OMG CUBE!!!! DONT YOU REMEMBER CUBE, BUMBLEBEE?’ I was like OH ME LMAO....CUUUUUBE

ok so the part in that one ep where megatron beats up starscream was??? so brutal??? and it lasted a WHILE too, and since the eps are so short it was like a third of the whole episode?? I was SO not expecting that level of brutality from this show, especially at this point in s2 where things hadn't really gotten that hardcore

ok I gotta talk abt the characters now. bc I love the characters and there’s so many of them which is fantastic

as I’ve already said I adore my boi hot rod. I also love bumblebee SO MUCH in this, he’s just such a good boy....good lad....also I’m glad he got to talk after s1, I didn’t mind the no-voice thing bc it didn’t overstay its welcome

cheetor is soooo good too HE’S JUST A BABY. A GOOD CATBOY...cheetor and bee and hot rod was such a good and pure boy squad and I’m so sad abt cheetor dying. that shit was depressing

ruth seeing beast wars cheetor: look how they massacred my boy 😫

me: ...you know he’s originally from beast wars, right???

ruth: IM STILL RIGHT

oh ym god shockwave. him being ANGERY was so ufcking funny especially bc in a few shots he WASNT angry so that means its not that he Just Looks Like That, it’s that he really IS angry All The Time and frowning constantly hvbhfdkhsfjbhskdjf god. anyways he was literally the only character with a brain cell in the entire show, he was the only one who got shit done. that part where megatron is like ‘finally you did something successful shockwave’ was so fucking funny bc like. all he DOES is succeed and meanwhile megatron is getting dunked on every 3 seconds. oh my god

SOUNDWAV?EE???? SOUNDWAVE I love soundwave he’s legit one of my fav tf characters ever, idek why it was just On Sight, I love his design and voice and his whole deal...cyberverse soundwave was SO good, he’s just SO RUDE and I love him. I love how he was always playing music and I just adore his whole ‘come at me bro’ attitude lmao

oh man I liked slipstream a lot, and her and windblade had so much potential, I’m sad slipstream died...unfortunately she was the only seeker to have half a braincell so she had to perish (I mean all the seekers ended up dying anyways but still)

also that bludgeon guy??? wtf was up w/him???? we legit never got an explanation for why he was Like That hbvhfakdjhbfdsjkf and like idk him from any other media so I was legit just so confused abt him lmao. he looks like orange cyclonus and he’s mean bc he killed slipstream >:(

ok I love grimlock he reminds me of thor tbh and he’s just such a good himbo. him and arcee hanging out was so perfect. himbo/hermbo solidarity at its finest

I find it hilarious that it seems like ratchet is The Only medic on all of cybertron, cause we literally never see another medic on either side, and the decepticons are apparently just letting shockwave do whatever to anyone who was injured...hvsdkjnfkasfdbh its like rung being The Only therapist on all of cybertron in idw1

oh my god the wild west episode was so sad like...that was str8 up depressing bro and there wasn't even a happy ending. oof. also I love the continuity, where we see multiple stasis pods falling from the arc (one being bumblebees) in s1, but we don’t follow up on it until here in s3. nice

I liked the pacing in the show a lot - I feel like s1 was pretty basic and straightforward, and a solid season in general, but things got real good in s2 when a bunch of character showed up and multi-episode plots started happening, and then s3 was really really good with the actual arcs happening, and the focus shifting throughout different characters

like I feel like s1 did a great job starting slow and setting up the worldbuilding for the other seasons, and s2 went All In and threw a ton of characters and more high-concept plots in, which I think worked as well as it did BECAUSE s1 was a lot more lowkey

for example, I like that pretty much the only autobots on earth in s1 are bumblebee and windblade, and later grimlock, and the only decepticons are shadow striker and a bunch of seekers; it makes the conflict feel appropriately smaller rather than jumping right into The Big War

ruth said this and I kinda agree but the weakest point of the show was probably the fight scenes, especially in s1 bvhjdkhfbjhs it’s not that they were badly animated or anything, just that they weren't that exciting and I was more interested in the plot, so I was like guyssss stop fighting and keep moving the plot forward already! which is actually a compliment bc usually I love fight scenes and don’t care as much about plot stuff lmao

also cyberverse has THE funniest scene I've ever witnessed which was of course starscream’s twitch stream funeral BHVJSDKFHBSJKDHF that LEGIT made me die laughing like...I did NOT expect that and it totally killed me, holy shit, and the fact that there’s no real explanation for why megatron decided to do a big grand funeral for starscream while pretending HE wasn't the one who killed starscream??? and he streamed it all on twitch??? like the fuckgin emotes hbvhjadkjfbsjkhf and the twitch chat oh my GOD ‘#starscreamgate’ and ‘who is storescream?’ BHJGKSDHBFSKBF I cant yall it was so fucking funnyyyyy other tf media could NEVER

ok thats it for now, more thoughts at a later date im sure!

#liveblog #lj and ruth watch cyberverse #transformers #tfc #OH MY GOD THIS IS OVER 2 YEARS OLD I FORGOT TO POST THIS LMFAO

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tobebugjewce · 3 years

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THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.??

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK.

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link; “https://youtu”

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files;

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote;

Technical Support 1978

then,

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless:

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well.

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

#the walten files #twf #notes #horror

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zalrb · 3 years

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What were your favourite childhood movies? I was rewatching the karate kid movies and the newest version is nowhere as good as the old one.

This list is kind of all over the place, haha, because some movies are movies I grew up with meant for my age group at the time and a lot of them aren’t because I was exposed to a lot of media as a kid, haha. I’m also jumping around in time

Lion King --- I had Just Can’t Wait To Be King on repeat, I’d rewind it again and again and just sing it until I had to go to my room because my mother had enough

Aladdin --- apparently I just went around going, “I’m not a prize to be won!”

Land Before Time --- this movie is so fucking depressing but I really liked Ducky --- like to the point that the reason why I go “yepyep” is because Ducky goes “yepyepyep” and I remember when I realized that, I was like holy shit is that why all these years I go “yep yep” and my family was like, lol yes. But then as an adult I found out what happened to that child actress and that just made the movie all the more depressing

The Breakfast Club --- I explained this yesterday I believe

Grease --- so my mother loved/loves Grease, she knows all the songs, can play most of them on the piano and we used to live across the street from this movie theatre that played old movies and Grease was a regular so we watched it a lot

Sixteen Candles --- I remember thinking this was so romantic as a kid. Super problematic movie tho

Titanic - ah yes, Titanic, Leonardo DiCaprio, my first celebrity love. Oh, I can’t stand this movie now, lmao

Lord of the Rings trilogy --- lmao so when the first movie came out, I was obsessed with the elves and Rivendell and I used to write my homework with swirly letters to look like elvish and my teachers complained so I had to get a talking to about it

Love and Basketball --- first Black love story I ever saw.

Back To The Future 1 and 2, lmao as John Mulaney pointed out, the first movie anyway is actually REALLY weird when you think about it

Bad Boys --- I mean Martin Lawrence and Will Smith were the shit back then so I just liked watching them in a movie together

The Best Man --- THIS is funny so the 90s and early 00s saw a lot of African American movies and my mother was all about getting me to see Black people onscreen as much as I could so she took me to these movies even if it wasn’t exactly kid appropriate, she would just make sure to have a conversation with me about the movie when it ended, anyway, so when I was a kid, I didn’t really get a lot of the nuances of The Best Man but when it came out on VHS and when the soundtrack came out we got it so we watched it a lot and there’s a song by The Roots that I really like and one day I was like, I don’t know why I like this song so much and my mom was like because they play that song when you see Morris Chestnut for the first time and I think you went through puberty in the theatre when you saw him and I just diiiiiiiiiiiiiiied

As an adult, The Best Man is fucked up and I would’ve kicked Harper’s ass as well but only because what he did as a writer was a fucking dick move.

Pretty Woman --- it took me a while to realize that she was a sex worker

You’ve Got Mail --- I remember watching this in the theatre with my mom and being SO FRUSTRATED because I just didn’t understand why Tom Hanks couldn’t tell Meg Ryan the truth.

Liar Liar --- I related to having an absentee dad who never made good on his promises but I also liked Jim Carey’s exaggerative facial expressions but I remember there’s this joke, so the whole premise is that Jim Carey didn’t show up to his son’s birthday when he said he would (relatable!) and his son was so tired of him breaking promises, he wishes that his father will never lie again but Jim Carey is a lawyer so that causes issues, lmfao, but anyway so Jim Carey can’t lie and he has sex with I think it’s his boss, I forget, but he has sex with someone and she’s like how was it? and he goes “I’ve had better” and every time that joke came on my family would CRACK UP so I kept being like “better what? GUYS WHAT DID HE HAVE BETTER OF? I DON’T GET IT” then my mom and I had a conversation, lmfao.

Goodfellas --- I remember my cousins watching this movie in the living room and I saw the scene of the gif I posted below and was like OH WHAT’S THIS and then they told me to go into the bedroom because it was too grown but it’s like they forgot there was a TV in the bedroom and I just turned it to the channel and watched it there. And the movie came on a lot on TV so I just watched it a lot by myself, lmfao.

Twin Warriors aka Tai Chi Master --- probably my favourite martial arts movie. I know there are better ones but I really resonated with this as a kid. Jet Li was a legend with my cousins.

Fist of Legend

Once Upon A Time in China

Romeo Must Die --- omg I played this movie ALL. THE. TIME.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Boyz N The Hood --- a really important movie in my household to the point that I was excited to be able to write a paper on it in the same Popular Cinema from the 70s to the Present class I did my Breakfast Club paper for

same with Do The Right Thing

Jumanji -- I fucking love how mean-spirited this movie is and I did appreciate it as a child too although it freaked me the fuck out

Clueless

Home Alone - god, Kevin’s family was terrible

Home Alone 2 --- ah the movie/scene that changed my life

House Party --- to this day I haven’t been to a house party as live as this one

Malcolm X --- another extremely important movie in my household

Hook --- ooooh I still love this movie so much!

Scream --- I remember when this movie was THE. SHIT. Scared the fuck out of me.

Hero --- this movie was so gorgeous

Rush Hour --- I would probably hate Rush Hour now tbh but whenever I hear “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey I think of the opening scene because I was Soo Young belting to Mariah Carey in the car, it was the best part of the movie for me as a kid because I was like I DO THAT TOO but then she gets kidnapped, so....

The Mummy --- CLASSIC

Gremlins

Hercules - DUH

The Godfather --- I rarely talk about my dad but he was very much into mob movies because he liked the way they dressed and carriedt themselves in these movies, especially in The Godfather so whenever I was with him, The Godfather was on a lot

He was also very much into comics, particularly Batman, so even though I don’t really care for DCU/MCU or comics, I’m more likely to go to a theatre (well pre-Covid) and pay to watch a Batman movie over any other comic movie - except Black Panther which is a huge exception because these Batman movies were a pat of my childhood

yes, even Batman and Robin, I even had the soundtrack, listening to Bone Thugs N Harmony on my bunk bed and shit.

Space Jam --- I recently watched the Movie Pitch for this and it had me hollering

Lean On Me --- I have complicated feelings about this movie now but I grew up watching it and I really liked it and the older I got the more I understood what the movie was actually about

Practical Magic --- I wanted to live in that house

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone --- because it was real finally!

Armageddon -- I still love this horrible, nonsensical, illogical, terrible movie because it’s utterly fantastic and hilarious. As a child I didn’t understand this moment and why it was such a huge ask, as an adult I’m like YES. IF I SURVIVE SAVING THE WORLD I’M NOT DOING THIS, THE FUCK I LOOK LIKE?

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apenapaperandadoofus · 3 years

Note

PLEASE SHARE IT. PLEASE, I NEED IT.

ASK AND YA SHALL RECIEVE

Keep in mind I was about 12-13-ish when I wrote it and I was in my angsty stage so this gets a bit dark pft

here are the first 2 chapters -there are like 9 in total I think- if ya want the fnaf one then tell me bc I actually have to translate it and everything bc I wrote it in Spanish lol

TW mentions of abuse sorta and alcoholism

"Come back here you lil' shit!!!"

"I'll kill ya, I swear to God I'll kill ya!!!"

I could hear him behind me, stumbling and crashing into things, with that stupid glass bottle in his hand.

I have to keep going or he will really kill me. I kept running zig-zagging through the trees trying to lose him.

"You little fuck!!! How dare you run away from me after all I've done for you?! I was the one that gave you a roof under your head, the one that fed you and took care of you and THIS is how you repay me?!"

Yea right. I'd rather be in the streets than have to live with you in that damned house again. C'mon (Y/N) you're almost there!!

"I'll do the same thing I did with them to you!! You'll end up like all those kids, like all those dirty bastards!"

CRASH!

A flash of lightning crashed behind me.

Keep going, keep going.

Suddenly, as I keep climbing up I see something.

A cave.

Yes!! Now I can finally get rid of him! I quickly started climbing, finally getting into the cave. It was really chilly, but it would at least protect me from the rain, and since it was nighttime and he was drunk he'd have no chance of finding me.

Or that's what I thought.

"Ahh, there you are my dear (Y/N)~ You are quite slippery you know? You remind me so much of her, my little Frisk. But you both had to escape from me didn't ya. Do you know what happened to Frisk dear?"

He chuckled and came closer, while I was walking backward trying not to stumble.

"I killed her." He smiled. " It was an accident, I didn't want to, but she was being a naughty little girl~ [EW WTF WHY DID I WRITE IT LIKE THAT LMFAO GREAT WAY TO MAKE HIM CREEPY AF AMANDA]" he came closer, and the smell of booze reached my nose.

"G-get away from me you creep!"

He laughed and pushed me, making me stumble and fall down. I tried to crawl away but then he started kicking me.

IM ALSO NOT PUTTING THIS PART BC IT WAS CROSSING THE LINE A BIT AND I WANTED TO MAKE IT DARK ANYWAY THE THING IS THIS SHIT ESCALATED REALLY QUICKLY AND I GASPED BC HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS WITH ME

Basically, he said more creepy shit bc I wanted to make him a huge asshole, but I still don't feel comfortable putting it and I'm sure for other ppl its uncomfortable too so uh, lets just say the guy was just really really bad and wanted to do really bad things to uhh, the reader

This, this guy had the nerve to- ugh!!

"S-stop it"

He quickly grabbed me by my hair and brought my face closer so we were locking eyes.

"Y'know no one cares about you! You're nothing! But if you stay with me you'll see I can be a good guy! I promise I will treat you better! I will do anything for you. You just have to be a good girl and stay in your room."

"No!!"

I quickly spit on him and kicked him in the stomach. I was not going back there, not going to suffer through all that again. I got to my feet and ran deeper and deeper into the cave

"You can't escape (Y/N)~" I heard from behind me.

I ran faster. I'm not going to let him win. I'm not.

" You'll just end up like Frisk!"

Crash!!!

I yelped and tripped on a vine, falling into a hole, hearing his echoed taunts getting farther and farther away.

Is this it?

Is this how I die?

Will I really end up like Frisk?

No.

I won't die. I can't die. Not today.

Those were my last thoughts before I was surrounded by darkness.

Chapter 2 [this one is more fun I lol]

"You little bitch!"

"Come back here!"

"You'll end up just like Frisk"

"I promise we'll get out of here....

Frisk"

I woke up with a start. My head dizzy from the fall.

Where...am I? Who's Frisk? Why can't I remember anything...? Hold on, did I loose my memory? What the-

"Heck!!" I heard someone say behind me. I quickly turned around, and saw a kid who looked to be around my age, floating a few feet away from me. Their hair was up to their shoulders and they were wearing shorts with a cute green stripped sweater.

"Seriously?! And just when I get used to being dead?! Do you hate me that much world!?" The kid yelled while waving their fist at the top of the cave.

Huh.....

Wait.....

Dead?

Am I dead?

If so where the heck am I?

Is this what the afterlife is like? Being stuck with a 10 year old ghost kid? Is it because of that one time I stole a ring pop from John? Because if it is he totally deserved it, he wasn't even gonna eat it!

"Am I really dead..?" I whispered.

Suddenly the ghost kid turned around and looked at me.

"Wat?" They asked.

"Am...am I dead?" I looked at my palms trying to figure out what was going on.

The kid sighed.

"No. You're not dead you dummy, you just fell down into the Underground, and somehow that awoke me...huh... that's weird."

Oh. So I'm not dead. That's nice I guess.

"Um, wait, the Underground?" I stood up, and stretched a bit, trying to check if everything was alright.

"Yea. With monsters and stuff. You just fell down from Mt.Ebott. You'd be the second human here to fall down."

Wait. The second one? I thought six more had disappeared in here a while ago.

"You mean the seventh human." I corrected them.

"Noooo, I mean the SECOND human, jeez are you deaf or something?"

They glared at me as if I was the dumbest person they had ever met.

"Nuh-uh. If there's one thing I remember is that 6 humans had fallen before me"

"Well then you remembered wrong because last time I checked I was the only one. That fall must've really damaged your brain" they chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. They really were stubborn and they were pretty rude too! If it were up to me I would've walked away by now but since I am down here somewhere I don't know with MONSTERS, I should really have an ally and they seem to be my only hope. Maybe they're nice once you get to know them, so I should really try to befriend them.

"So uh, ghost kid...what's your name?" I looked at them with a sweet smile, trying to be friendly.

"My name is Chara. And I was the first human to fall down here. What's yours?"

"My what"

"Your name, you idiot. Don't tell me you forgot that too." They smirked.

"Pshh I didn't forget my name!" I puffed my cheeks and looked the other way. I honestly had no idea what my name was but I wasn't going to let that ghost kid treat me like a dumbass again.

"Fine then, what is it?"

Shoot.

"U-um i-its uh..."

Let's seeeeee... what's a good name? Oh jeez what are some good names I could use right now?

As I was panicking suddenly something came to my mind.

"Frisk." I said.

I have no idea who Frisk is, but it felt just right. And it was the first thing that popped into my mind so.

"Oh. That's a peculiar name. But we'll then, Frisk. What are you going to do? Do you want to go back to the surface?" They eyed me with curiosity. I honestly had no idea what I would do. But I just had this urge to go back to the surface. But there was nothing up in there for me was there? I mean maybe I had a family or something's that's looking for me right now. Or maybe I could just be a homeless nobody.

"Do you promise me we'll get out of here?" "Yes. And we'll go and look at the stars in a field of golden flowers, like the ones in your book. It's a promise."

"I want to go back up."

That seemed to get Chara's attention.

"R-really? You want to go back up there? With those assholes?" They scoffed.

"Yep. I just feel as if I have something important to do over there. Like a promise."

"Ah...well, if you want I can show you the way! We can go meet these monsters, they took care of me while I was in here! They could help you!" They smiled and started going ahead of me.

"Uhm, sure, I guess! That'd be cool!" I said as I started walking behind them. If I manage to get those monsters' help, I'll be out of here and try to get my memory back and fulfill my promise.

CRINGY I KNOW BUT WERE GETTING TO THE PICKUP LINES AND THOSE ARE HILARIOUS IN A BAD WAY LMAO MAYBE I CAN LATER POST THE OTHER CHAPTERS PFT

Chapter 3

"So uh..Chara..will these people have food?" I asked while walking behind them.

"Food?" "Yup" "You're stuck in a place full of monsters and all you can think of is food?"

Before I could answer though, my stomach let out a loud growl. I giggled.

"I guess that answers your question."

We became quiet again until Chara turned around and looked at me.

"So how old are you?" "I'm about to be twelve" "You're pretty mature for a twelve year old" they scoffed. "Well you're pretty immature to be whatever age you are." Chara laughed.

"I'm thirteen. So that basically means you have to do everything I say since I'm the older one" they stuck their tounge out.

"That's not fair!" I proclaimed. "The world isn't fair." The smirked. "Your face isn't fair"

"Damn, Frisk, you got me" they said with mockery.

"Shut up"

They laughed and then looked at me with a serious expression. "No but really, if you want to survive here you'll have to listen to me or else you'll die. And if you abuse the SAVE point it'll stop working. If you loose determination too."

"Woah. Wait what? A save point? Determination? I am really confused right now"

"Ugh, I'll explain later. Right now we have to get to the RUINS."

"Is that were you lived when you were stuck down here?"

"Tch, why do you care? And I wasn't stuck. I lived here because it's the only place were murder isn't the first option and monsters aren't assholes."

"Hey, stop being so rude, I just want to find out more about you! I really want us to have a good relationship if you're stuck with me for a while!"

"Just mind your own business."

"Ughh you're so-"

I suddenly stopped walking when I saw a single gold flower in the middle of the path.

"Why'd you sto- ohh that's creepy."

"It's just a flower. It won't do anything."

I kneeled down to look at the flower better, for some reason this flower looked different than all the other ones.. I was about to reach out for it when all of a sudden the flower turned around and smiled at me.

"Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the Flower!"

What. The.

This flower could talk?! What?!

"Oooook Frisk this is definitely creepy, don't touch it and walk away."

I ignored Chara and smiled at the flower. They seemed friendly, so why not?

"Hey there! I'm, um, Frisk. I'm new around here."

Flowey noded and smiled at me.

"Oh! So since you're new you probably don't know how the Underground works! I guess lil' old me will have to teach you! Ready?"

"Frisk I'm not really getting good vibes from this guy." Chara said again, this time a little bit more serious.

"Shhh" I stood up and looked at Flowey, nodding.

"Thank you Flowey!! You're really nice! So how does this all wo-?" Suddenly I was being surrounded by darkness, with Flowey standing in front of me.

"Where is-" I suddenly stopped talking when I saw a red...heart? In front of me.

"See that red heart over there?" Flowey asked me.

I nodded.

"That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!"

"Woahh, that's so cool!"

"Your soul starts off weak, but it can get stronger if you gain a lot of LV."

Suddenly Chara appeared beside me and shook their head.

"Frisk I don't think he-"

"Frisk! You may be asking: Flowey, what does LV stand for? Well, for LOVE of course!!"

Oh. I guess in here is not that bad if their policy is like the place where the Carebears live.

"Fris-"

"You want some LOVE don't ya? Well don't worry! I'll share some with you."

After he said that a few white pettals appeared in front of Flowey. I guess that's how you get some LV right?

"Frisk, I'm serious right now, do not touch the bullets."

I looked at Chara.

"Thanks but what bu-"

"DOWN HERE" Flowey yelled to get my attention. I turned to look at him with a nervous smile, he just rolled his eyes and kept talking.

"LOVE, is shared through some....little...white... friendliness pellets!"

Ok. Now that was definitely suspicious. And where those the bullets Chara was talking about before? Jeez this guy really got me, but I mean. He's a flower why in the world would he kill me?

"Are you ready Frisk?! Catch as many as you can!" Then, the...white friendliness pellets, started moving towards me. How in the world was he doing that?! This place is so weird, filled with talking flowers and dead kids suddenly becoming alive again. I just want to go home!

"Frisk!! Watch out!!" Chara yelled beside me.

"What?"

I looked at Flowey and saw the pellets getting closer to me. Before I had the time to dodge they got me and I felt a huge amount of pain. I fell to the ground on my knees, gasping for air, trying to make it go away.

What was happening?! I quickly looked behind me when I noticed that the yellow bar that was once full, was suddenly empty. It said 1/20.

Chara rolled her eyes.

"You dummy! Those were bullets! And to even top it off you have literally one hp left!"

"One hp...? Wait Chara what is goin-"

"You idiot." I heard a creepy voice say behind me.

I slowly turned my head around, looking at Flowey, with my eyes widening.

"F-Flowey?"

"In this world, it's killed or be killed!"

"Wha-what?"

"Why would ANYONE pass up an opportunity like this?"

"Chara!" I yelled trying to get up, but a couple of bullets appeared beside me and surrounded me, trapping me where I was.

"DIE. " I heard Flowey yell, while the bullets started closing in on me.

Maybe I could dodge them? Or find a way to escape? Where was Chara and why weren't they helping me?

I heard Floweys's laughter get louder and louder while the bullets got closer and I shut my eyes.

I guess this is the end now. I will really die. Did I seriously think I would survive in this Underground world? Really? They're monsters for God's sake! Of course I would die here. And I wouldn't be able to fill my promise. My eyes started tearing up. I could feel the bullets really close now, about to touch me when-

All of a sudden, a fireball hit Flowey in the face, making him disappear with the bullets. Chara appeared beside me.

"Phew! That was close! At least she got here in time! I told you he wasn't a good person Frisk! If you want to survive here you'll have to do exactly what I tell you to do, or else you'll die." They nagged me.

I tried standing up once again, trying to see who saved me.

"What a horrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth." Came a sweet voice from above me. I felt their hands go in my back and a weird warm feeling surrounded me.

When the warm feeling was gone, I didn't feel pain anymore. That was weird. I finally managed to stand up, and looked at the lady who saved me.

She's a.....goat? Lady? Monster?

She had a really pretty purple tunic, with a weird white symbol in the chest area.

She smiled at me and waved her hand.

"Ah do not be afraid my child. I am TORIEL, caretaker or the RUINS. I pass down here everyday to see if any humans have fallen down."

I looked at Chara, who looked to be about to cry. Maybe this was the monster they were talking about before? The ones that took care of them probably?

I shook my head and smiled at Toriel. She did look like she had good intentions, and yes, they did save me from that wretched flower. But I wasn't going to be dumb enough to fall into the same trap again, so this time I had to be cautious.

Toriel smiled back, and turned around, grabbing my hand.

"Come, my child, I will guide you through the catacombs!"

And with that, she grabbed my hand and walked with me, leading the way.

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klanced · 5 years

Note

soooooo i was late on asking for the second movie but i call dibs for whenever ur organized enough to infodump it: What Happens In The /Third/ Movie Katie Klanced?

I meant to post this last year but then I got suspended and forgot smh -_-

Anyway it’s been almost a year, so here are a few links to refresh your memory on the masterpiece that is my Despicable Me au. In fact, here’s the tag because I love this au.

In my correct opinion, the third DM movie is definitely the weakest in the franchise, and I pretty much ignored its canon plot and wrote my own. So sorry if there’s a few loose-ends/plot-holes. But this is a Despicable Me au, I am beholden to no gods, no rules.

Roughly a year has passed since the events of the second movie. Coran and Alfor have finally gotten together (they’re either dating or married, I haven’t decided yet). Allura is away at college because I have way too many characters on my hands and I have to sideline out of necessity. Sorry, Allura.

The movie opens up with the entire family getting ready for an award ceremony at the AVL happening that night. It’s about as hectic a scene as you can imagine. Lance is running around without a shirt on. Pidge is wearing three shirts. One is her pajama top, the second is Lance’s aforementioned missing shirt. No one has any idea where the third shirt came from.

When suddenly, the phone rings!

Krolia picks it up, paying only 1/3 attention to the person on the line before she yells that it’s for Coran. Coran limps over, half a chewed shoe in his hand, the other half still on his foot. His right eyebrow is smoking. He is, understandably, a little terse when he shouts to be heard over the background din into the phone.

The screen diagonally bisects, to show Coran on the phone and… Shiro on the other side of the line!

Shiro introduces himself as the new CPS worker assigned to Lance/Hunk/Pidge’s case. Coran immediately has a heart attack and runs to his soundproofed study, slamming the door behind him as Shiro continues to just. Awkwardly talk on the phone lol.

Coran, internally: oh shit oh shit oh FUCK oh shit why now why nowwww oh lord is he calling to take away the kids? is he going to take away my BABIES??

Shiro: sorry for the late phone call sir, i meant to call earlier but i dropped my phone in a puddle and- i mean! the life of a cps worker is just packed hahahahahahahahahaah (WHY are you still laughing you IDIOT) ha-ahem! anyway. i’m the new cps worker, have i mentioned that yet? because i am. it’s just that, after we realized that the kids’ last foster home and agent let a supervillain just walk out with them - uh, no offense, sir! i just meant that, well, supervillains are generally understood to be bad- not to imply that you’re evil of course! Haha of Course Not, even though you were Literally voted the world’s most evil and accomplished supervillain several years in a row, but! That’s neither here nor there. Of course. :)

DM!Verse Shiro is a bit of a nervous doof but he also has a spine of steel when it comes to kids and making sure their living situations are safe. And he is very skeptical of Coran and his parenting skills, which is honestly pretty reasonable considering he’s an outsider looking in.

I mean, someone who was arguably the world’s greatest villain suddenly deciding to move to suburbia with his three (stolen) adopted kids does… seem like a bit of a stretch. And pretty sus lmfao.

Coran and Shiro eventually stutter their way into a productive conversation and arrange for Shiro to conduct a home visit/other CPS survey stuff very soon. Coran politely bids Shiro farewell, hangs up the phone, and has a panic attack because suddenly it feels like all his worse fears are coming true. Because the other shoe has finally dropped.

Life has been so kind to Coran lately, between his loving marriage and his lovable kids. It’s sad to say, but he’d half-expected something like this to happen for a while. Because people like him don’t deserve this kind of uninterrupted happiness.

Alfor quietly knocks on the door and takes in the scene before him. Coran reaches out, and he immediately rolls to his husband’s side.

Coran collapses against him and catches him up to speed. There’s a pause as Alfor pauses, absorbs, and digest the information, before he starts making calming shushing noises.

Insert Supportive Spouse Speech. Alfor reminds Coran that, for all he’s done in the past, he has damn well earned his present life. Alfor can attest to that, as can Krolia and, most importantly, their children.

It also doesn’t hurt that the internationally recognized Anti-Villain League is both a sponsor of and willing to provide a character reference for Coran. That counts for something, and Coran finally calms down.

This is what we in the writing business like to call “foreshadowing” :)

Scene cut to the AVL award ceremony. Krolia and Coran are both being recognized for their incredible heroics from the past year, etc etc, blah blah blah. Their speeches are very true to their character.

At the end of it, Kolivan goes up and stage and announces he’s retiring. Krolia, who knew this was happening in advance and fully expects to be named as his replacement, starts checking her lipstick in her hand mirror- only for Kolivan to introduce a ‘Commander Hira’ to the crowds.

FML, this is exactly the plot to the Spongebob Squarepants movie.

The entire Wimbleton Smythe-Altea Family freeze, mid-applause. Hunk awkwardly puts away his ‘CONGRATULATIONS KROLIA!!!!!!!!’ banner. Krolia shatters her hand mirror in her fist.

Within her first month, Hira makes some dramatic changes to the AVL. One of which is the agency’s complete separation from anything having to do with villains, including its rehabilitation program.

“Once a villain always a villain” essentially. Hira insists that villains are simply too evil to ever truly become good again, and that so-called “former” criminals are simply biding their time until they can enact their revenge.

As a result, Coran is fired. Alfor protests Hira’s decision, and resigns out of solidarity. Krolia calls Hira a bitch and is also fired.

The kids are ecstatic that their dads + aunt are home 24/7 now. Krolia is less pleased. She’s been an active agent for more than half her life, so this sudden and forced turn for domesticity has her clawing at the walls.

One of the sub-plots is Alfor trying to convince Coran to become a superhero, “just like the old times.” (Coran: Love, I was literally your supervillain arch-nemesis).

Coran is hesitant, because 1) He still has low self-value and doesn’t see himself as a hero, and 2) He’s perfectly content to mooch off his billionaire boyfriend and spend his time as a stay-at-home dad.

To take their mind off their sudden unemployedness, Coran and Alfor throw themselves into preparing for Shiro’s house visit. This mainly entails Alfor calming Coran down from an anxiety attack every other hour.

There is a lot of tension in the house.

And then, like magic! An invitation to the biggest supervillain symposium of the year appears, because villain mailing lists are especially evil and refuse to take Coran off their register even though he literally arrests villains for a living.

“So you’re telling me,” Krolia says, and Coran instinctively inches for the door. “That you’ve had an opening into the world’s biggest villain convention, this entire time, and you didn’t tell anyone?”

“W-e-ll,” Coran stutters, slapping blindly behind him for the doorknob, “It just didn’t seem very fair, you know? To ambush them like that, all because of their lazy office workers. That’s not very good sport.”

Krolia and Alfor try to convince Coran that he should go. Krolia is convinced this is the in they need to reclaim their jobs; they’ll infiltrate the Supervillain Symposium, arrest all the biggest bads, call the AVL, rub it in Hira’s face, take a selfie while she’s sobbing in the background, celebrate as the masses drag Hira to the guillotine-

Coran: Krolia I love you, I really do. But you have issues.

Krolia: I happen to be perfectly adjusted for someone in my situation.

Coran is still hmming and hawwing because, now that he doesn’t have to fight villains for a living, he quite likes Not Being In Constant Danger. But then Krolia reminds him that he is both unemployed AND now blacklisted by the AVL, two things which might very well doom him in the eyes of Shiro (and the rest of CPS). He needs to do this if he wants his job back and, therefore, keep his kids.

(…. At some point, Coran shaves off his mustache in a stress-filled attempt at appearing as a better guardian, but no one recognizes him so he has to wear a fake mustache for the rest of the movie)

Coran of course is immediately super gung-ho for this plan and declares they’re leaving ASAP.

The kids of course are raring to go, the adults are vehemently hell no to that idea, and in the ensuing argument everyone forgets that Shiro is coming today.

A series of events thus follows, which can be summarized as:

The adults say that the kids can’t come.

The kids decide that yes, in fact, kids can come and plan accordingly.

The kids are preparing to tail after the adults (after waiting a reasonable amount of time of course (this isn’t their first rodeo) in their own modified plane when they hear what sounds like their babysitter, the Reformed Lotor, coming around the corner.

The kids immediately go into attack mode only to realize, after the dust has settled, that they’ve actually knocked out Shiro.

In their infinite pre-teen wisdom, the kids decide to stick with the plan and load Shiro into their equivalent trunk and take off.

A few moments later, Lotor finally arrives, looks up from his phone, realizes there are no kids to be watched, and shrugs and goes home.

The scene cuts to Shiro groggily stumbling out of the corner the kids have stashed the plane in, only to realize, to his absolute horror, that he’s on an island filled with Supervillains attending a Supervillain Convention.

Hunk: Man… I feel like we forgot something.

*Shiro screaming in the distance*

For brevity’s sake I’ll cut off here, but just know that this is only the FIRST THIRD (IF EVEN THAT) of the movie. I am absolutely off the CHAINS. I still haven’t even introduced Keith yet. I love this au.

#voltron #coran #alfor #krolia #lance #pidge #hunk #alforan #despicable me au #long post #ask #anonymous #katiecanons #if it isn't obvious i'm trying to clear out some of my drafts and. well. i love this au so lmfao #otp: gay dads

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yiqiie · 5 years

Text

IDOL PRODUCER S2: E3 THOUGHTS

every week, i’ll sit down and watch the newest episode of Idol Producer Season 2 《青春有你》and write down all my thoughts. nothing get’s left out so get ready for a bunch of memes, shit posts and rants as we get through another season of our fave survival show

feel free to send me any questions to my inbox and i’ll answer them asap!

a/n: I AM READY i’ve been so hyped after the previews i’m finally feeling a bit of the excitement i got from last season again

start time: 7:32 am

my wifi has been pretty good lately so i’m praying i won’t have to take all day to watch this ep again

THEY’RE DOING THE CALLS

NO NO NO

wait omfg yaochi’s mum

SHI ZHAN’S MUM HUNG UP ON HIM LMFAO

HIS FACE

zyx you’re a little shit ahahahahaha

also i love your dimple uwu

no one in A class ;;;;

JOLIN I LOVE YOU MY QUEEN

GUAN YUE UWU WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE MY BBY

wait i got too caught up i forgot to write something

but like what he said is true

you’ve got people who are already such all-rounded people compared to people who are maybe only good at singing so it’s gonna be harder for some people than it will be for others

i love jolin so much guys she’s teaching them move by move

i think the mentoring is so much better than last season though

i think they focused way too much on like being strict last time but this time they’re actually doing move by move teaching

it might have something to do with experience tbh

but once again jolin is the cutest human and she’s my number 1 pick lmao

hu chunyang uwu he’s so shy

i love li ronghao teaching though

YES BOY GO I REMEMBER YOUR DEEP VOCALS

the poor thing but look at how hardworking

they’re so nervous though poor babes

XU LONGHAN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

HE’S SUCH A MEME

so baby pick-a me!

i’M CRYING

ZHANG PD LEGGO

i remember when he was teaching mask and all of the boys were doing zyx neck exercises and it WAS THE FUNNIEST THING

HOW THE FCK IS HE DOING THAT

i’m sorry i’m supposed to be focussed on the trainees but i’m mesmerised by zyx lmfao

dude that is some pretty crazy workout

balance

WHO SAID BALANCE

they’re asking pd hard questions ahahahhahahaha

CALLING THEM ALL REPORTERS AHAHHA

li wenhan teaching uwu what an aesthetic

yaochi’s smile is so adorable

GUAN YUE YOU’RE SO CUTE SHUT UP GET OUT

XU LONGHAN AGAIN AHAHHA

THAT HIGH NOTE BRUH

yao mingming is so cute honestly

oh no baby ;;;

he forgot some of his lines

YEAH BOI GOIGN UP TO B

please tell me they’re going to A

omg

i will cry

pls pls pls i’m begging

YES

YES YES YES I’M SO PROUD OF YOU BABES

i really have to get better at names

wait someone got to A

since when

what who is it???

only 7 people went up from F ;;;

please tell me someone went up to A

F TO B THAT’S AMAZING

no baby don’t cry no no no

oh shit i’m crying

YES BABE

I’M SO PROUD OF YOU

YOU DID IT

okay i’m sobbing i can’t even see my keyboard

[break while i get a tissue box]

LMAO ADDING IN A CHEWING GUM AD

lol the subtitles aren’t matching the sound

LOOK AT THAT VOCAL POWER

now there aren’t subtitles

wait no they’re back

LIAN HUAIWEI MY PRECIOUS BUB

wang jiayi you’re so hardworking i believe in you gorgeous

YOU CAN DO IT

YOU’RE IN B I’M SO PROUD

well we already know wenhan is in A

BUT I’M PROUD OF YOU BUB NONETHELESS

guan yue my number one pick baby

HE ALWAYS MAKES THIS FACE

IT’S FCKING ADORABLE

istg if zyx makes another trainee cry

NO NO NO NOPE

YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS TO ME

oof his vocal power though

LIAN HUAIWEI YOU ARE SUCH A MEME I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

‘hold me i’m going to faint’

i CAN’T BELIEVE THIS BOY

jia yi is holding the fcking yoghurt milk drink and practising

I CANNOT DEAL OMFG

honestly my heart hurts so much for these boys they work so hard

LIN MO DON’T CRY BUB

sorry lin mo crying for his teammates is making cry

wtf jia yi those vocals holy shit

lian huawei is such a meme i can’t believe this boy

GUAN YUE YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL IN PINK

sorry this is turning into a guan yue fangirl rant

back to the topic

damn that’s a lot of people in A

THEY GET MORE MILK AHAHAHAHAHAHAH LMFAO

sorry HE’S SO CUTE

also did jia yi change his hair colour?????

zyx has his proud face on

casper’s ‘YOU GOIN A MAN’

xu fangzhou’s visuals though omg

honestly the improvement over three days is so much obvious this season then last year

you can really see how much they put in and how much they’ve improved

no babes don’t cry no no

‘my killing part is really weak’

SAID WHO

EXCUSE ME SIR

lmfao no one wanting to perform first ahahaha

AHAHAHAHA THAT WAS SO CUTE

LI WENHAN THAT WINK

EXCUSE ME

GO AWAY

guan yue’s smile IS HONESTLY

JIA YI

COME ON DON’T DO THAT

WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE

he forgot the moves because he kept smiling AHAHAHA

LIAN HUAIWEI

OMFG AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

i’m saying it again

I REALLY LOVE THEIR NEW UNIFORMS

i’m finally loving the new song

my CUTE BABY BUB

CHEWING GUM ADS

jia yi don’t smile at me like that

you know i can’t handle it

GUAN YUE

MY HEART

GAH

DON’T DO THE PHONE CALLS

DON’T DO IT

[brb getting my tissue box]

okay no one crying so far

we good

YAO CHI’S MUM AHAHAHHAHA

wait someone’s mum is brushing their teeth AHAHA

okay this is just really cute

NO NEED FOR TISSUES

this is hilarious omfg

‘it doesn’t matter if i can see you on weibo or not’

LMFAO THIS IS SO FUNNY

oh guan yue ;;;

i’ve seen people on weibo saying that they don’t want them to show this bit and that people shouldn’t make a big deal out of it so i won’t talk much

oh fuck where are my tissues

no baby don’t cry you’re making them so proud

NOPE

WE ARE NOT DOING THIS

lin mo pretending that there’s a bad signal so his mum doesn’t hear him cry

perhaps my heart is breaking

so is it gonna be this way producer team

you’re gonna make me laugh and now you’re giving me all of this emotional stuff

I CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR SHIT

no li wenhan nope no no no

i can’t even see my screen

[break while i get water]

ooooo group performances!!

what are the songs this time

pls don’t tell me there’s gonna be a PPAP level song

wait like ‘dream’ as in the season one dream???

that was god-tier

NAMANANA YES YES YES YES

no one’s gonna beat zyx though just saying

ooooo we have a ballad!

IT IS SEASON ONE DREAM LMFAO

it isn’t idol producer without some good old voting

who’s number one pick

li wenhan?

i bet it is

LOOK AT THIS BROSHIP

WENHAN YOU GO BABE

pls pick a good song though

LI WENHAN X JIAYI WHAT A BROSHIP

GUAN YUE’S SMILE IS SO ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL

4As LMFAO

AHAHAHHAHA HE WISHED FOR IT AND GOT CHOSEN

LMFAO HIS FACE

he thought he was gonna be able to chose his song

but he’s become li wenhan team’s competitor

no one wants to be chosen anymore because li wenhan AHAHAHHAHAA

wait my wifi cut off how did we get here again

oh wait three As in the other team

now we’re onto the next song

IT’S AN F BABY

WHO’S GONNA BE DANCING NAMANANA

oh the poor baby’s face ;;;;

THIS IS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY

before everyone wanted to be the next on picked

but now no one wants to be picked anymore

HE LITERALLY FELL OVER BECAUSE HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE CHOSEN AHAHAH

wait

what

one team per song can’t perform on stage at all

what the hell

what’s the point of live voting then?????

5 vocals and there are 4 rap parts AHAHHAHAH

i love how there isn’t even competing in their team they just kinda force chunyang to be leader lmfao

LI WENHAN A GORILLA AHAHAHHA I’M CRYING OMG

‘whoever has muscles, let them be centre’ AHAHAHHAHA

THEY’RE ALL CRAZY ISTFG

this is so funny i can’t believe this omg

PREVIEWS LEGGOOOO

wait they’re just kinda spoiling who’s gonna be able to go on stage

not gonna lie though isn’t that kind of unfair?

oooo these groups look really fcking good

he CHANGXI OMFG

wait li wenhan group’s outfits are low-key ugly lmao

they literally just revealed who’s performing ahahaha

honestly this is really unfair to the people who don’t get to perform

finish time: 11:03am

that’s all folks; tune in next week for another episode of mai’s shitposting whilst we suffer through another survival show together!

#idolproducernet #qcyn-net #idol producer #idol producer s2 #qing chun you ni #qcyn #青春有你 #mai shitposts #idol producer s2e3 #series: ip s2 thoughts #text posts

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