#OPWDJHFALZDFSDZXCV IM SO STRESSED OMG

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 1

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes!!! hello to all of you, who gave AM CONVERSATIONS a chance and are ready to join me for this sequel too. thank you so so much, ill never say it enough. you make me want to write and that in itself is incredible for me. i hope i can surprise you, make you laugh, make you a bit frustrated and make you emotional, too. i really hope it reaches your expectations and maybe even exceed them, who knows! (fingers crossed!) please please please, keep the comments, suggestions, ideas, requests, questions and asks coming, it means everything to me! (ill start adding requests to the chapters a bit later btw, i need to set the story first!) so here it is.

Chapter 1 : His chapter

NIALL

Time passed by so quickly I had a hard time keeping track. I thought about Olivia every day and although I did miss the romantic relationship we had, most of all, I missed the friendship. I hadn't seen her in over a year and I was not really sure I ever would again. I did know almost everything there was to know, though, and I was also aware that she had moved to California, which was the place I lived half the year.

After I broke up with her, I had spent a lot of time locked at home just writing songs, and one of my favorite things to do was to check her father's web site and read the reviews she wrote about upcoming movies. One day, though, she published a short story that became popular very fast. She started filming it instead and turned it into a low budget online tv show. Luckyly for me, she didn't have the money to hire real actors and she ended up playing it in herself. I felt like a loser and a creepy ex boyfriend every time i'd lock myself in my room, in the dark, to watch the new episode, but I couldn't help it. She made q&a's videos and she seemed happy but for me, the more time passed, the more I realized that I needed her in my life.

My debut album was doing great and I was leaving on tour in a few months. I should be the happiest I have ever been but I couldn't hide that the songs I was about to sing every night still made me very emotional. My life was not all bad, of course. in fact, it was probably the best time of my life but it was tough for me to realize that I wouldn't be able to share it with my best friend... the girl I still wanted to end my life with.

My phone beeped as I was walking in the busy streets and I quickly searched my pockets to read the incoming text message.

'Don't forget to pick the cake for Joey at the bakery.'

I rolled my eyes and quickly typed an answer.

'Almost there.'

It was not a lie. Ten more seconds and I was pushing the doors of one of the biggest bakeries around. I didn't see the point in getting such an expensive and big cake for a birthday but I also didn't like to argue so I just went along with it.

I leaned against the counter and smiled as an employee moved closer.

"I'm here to pick up an order." I explained in a low tone. "Horan."

The lady smiled and nodded before leaving and I turned around, leaning more against the counter. I took my phone and started checking my messages until I heard it. Something I never thought i'd ever hear again. A laugh. It was clear and happy and although extremely fucking cheesy, it reached my heart like nothing else ever had in my life. I stopped breathing and my heart twisted but it took me a few seconds to react. I looked around the place but couldn't see her anywhere until I realized there was an other room a bit further. I took a few steps closer, a bit scared of what I was going to see but at the same time, I was full of hope.

I saw her first. She was standing up on the side, her head slightly down and her nose raised up. She seemed to glow in a way only she could and the thumping of my heart against my rib cage got even worse. She laughed again and something inside of me seemed to wake up suddenly from a very long slumber. It took me a few seconds to realize she was with Julie and when she noticed me, she hit Olivia's arm a few times to get her attention. With a quick chin movement, she incited her to turn to me and I held my breath when our eyes finally met. I was trying to decipher how she felt through her facial expressions but I couldn't seem to. Did we lose that connection we had? Was it gone forever?

I cleared my throat but walked up to them, trying to act casual as I sent both of them a smile.

"Hey, it's been a while."

"It has, in fact." Julie just replied. "Liam wanted to invite you over soon, so just text him."

My eyes moved to her and I sent her a small smile before nodding. "Will do."

I pushed both my hands in my pockets, feeling suddenly nervous to be around her. Her eyes finally met mine and she smiled to me sincerely. I expected her to be a bit embarrassed, or to feel uneasy, but she tilted her head and I let my eyes roam on her face. She smelled exactly like I remembered, the addicting scent of vanilla and honey invading me completely, and once again, my heart skipped a beat.

"It's been even longer for us." I just said, making her nod slightly. "How are you? How's your boyfriend?"

She chuckled and shrugged. "We're both good, thanks for asking, what about you and your girlfriend?"

"Good, we're good."

My eyes moved on her features and I licked my lips, suddenly wondering if hers tasted like they used to..

"Congrats on your tv show, by the way, it's incredible" I added, trying to keep the conversation going. "I'm very happy for you."

We both heard Julie's phone ring but I kept my eyes on her, giving her all my attention.

"Thank you! I'm having a blast with this I mean, who would have thought acting was so much fun, you know? I knew I loved writing but this is... beyond my expectations." she expressed with passion, making me smile more. "Oh and congrats on your first album!"

"Oh thank you, thanks!"

I moved slightly and opened her mouth to say something just as Julie came back and we both turned around as she hung up.

"Okay so Liam says we have to pick 'chocolate'."

I frowned and suddenly remembered where we were, my eyes roaming around the bakery and I licked my lips again. They had a few plates placed on the counter in front of them with pieces of different cakes and I realized it was probably for a wedding cake.

"I thought we were the ones in charge?" Liv frowned, moving her hands up while looking at Julie. "Since when does he get a say in this?"

"Wedding cake? Can I taste?"

I moved forward and grabbed a fork, taking a bite from the chocolate one.

"Mmhm dis one's gweat!" I replied, my mouth full, making Olivia roll her eyes with a smile. "I agree with Liam." I continued with a smirk after swallowing.

I hadn't seen Liam in a few months and now I knew why he wanted to invite me over. It was only a matter of time until he'd ask Julie to marry him. After all, they had been dating for years and nothing would ever tear them apart. It reminded me of my mistakes and all the things I regretted. My eyes found Liv again and I swallowed the lump in my throat. The way I broke up with her and especially the reasons why I did it were horrible but we would end up together, I was still sure about that, as pathetic as it sounded. I didn't tell anyone, I knew they would say i'm delusional and I didn't want to let them kill that conviction or even make it falter.

"Thanks for your input, Niall." Liv joked, raising her nose up with a smile. "Your opinion's been noted."

I laughed and it made her laugh too and for some odd reason, it brought a bunch of memories in my head. That time we played football together and I fell on top of her... or that time we danced in the living room and tripped over each other... that time we fucked on the stairs of a radio station and had to rush down and out not to be caught... that time we made love for the first time next to my christmas tree... that time...

"Niall?"

"Mm?"

"You okay?" she asked with a frown, a smile still gracing her lips.

"Oh yea, sorry it's just... it's good to hear you laugh again."

This time, her smile turned into a fond one and I smiled too. We kept staring at each other for a while and all I could think about was how beautiful and radiating she was. Even in the way she was standing up and moving, I could see that she was more confident and happy and that her insecurities weren't as bad as they used to be. It was not just a facade.

"You're... glowing." I let out, feeling suddenly uncomfortable with my confession. I chuckled, a little embarrassed, and scratched the back of my head, trying to think of something to add before she could answer. "It's crazy that we meet, I mean, we both moved here and it's a big city."

She nodded, understanding that I didn't want to talk about the first thing I had mentioned and she finally just shrugged and shook her head.

"Yea well, you know what they say, it's a small world after all." she just replied, making me smile more.

"L.A. is a world in itself, it's true." I agreed before laughing again. "Love how you quoted disney, and also not surprised."

"Some things never change."

Her words made something twist in my stomach. The only thing that never really changed in the past two years was the love I felt for her. It was sad how it was still strong and burning my insides. I was still in love with the girl I broke up with a year ago, a girl I was seeing for the first time in months, a girl that did so fucking well without me.

"Just like your love for coffee, yea?"

I glanced up only to notice Julie was tasting cakes, making sure to stay further to give us space, but knowing her, she was probably listening to every single word Liv and I were sharing.

"I.. still love coffee."

"Good, how about one, tomorrow, to catch up?"

Her lips parted and I knew why she hesitated. It was a mix of what we used to mean for each other, the hurt I put her through, the fact that we were both taken and also, the uncertainty of us still getting along after all this. The truth was, I needed a 'yes'. I needed to see her again, to talk to her again. I needed her in my life. This whole plan of us ending up together was based on us becoming friends again but reality had just hit me. If she didn't want to be around me anymore, there were barely any chance left for us to date again. That was something I hadn't thought about too much.

I took my phone out of my pocket again and handed it to her after unlocking it. She glanced at it before looking back in my eyes and I just shrugged.

"If you want to add your number." I proposed gently. "I mean, unless you think your boyfriend wouldn't like that."

The truth was, I didn't care at all, and I knew that would trigger her into doing the opposite.

"He's never tried to stop me from seeing anyone. He's not the jealous type."

I didn't say anything, I just raised my eyebrows with a smile and she finally grabbed the phone from my hand while rolling her eyes with a smile. I stared at her with a grin as she typed and when she handed it back to me, I quickly sent her a smiling emoji to make sure she also had my number. Her phone made music as it received my text message and my smile faltered. I remembered when it was my voice she had used as a ringtone and as a notification for her messages. Of course, I couldn't expect her to have kept it after all this time but it still did something to me to realize that she was now using something else. So many things had changed and despite what I tried to make myself believe, it really fucking hurt.

"Oh is that... the theme of your tv show?"

I knew damn well it was but I didn't want to make it seem like I was obsessed with it only to see her face, even if it was exactly that. When did I fall into this disgusting pattern of regretting my own decisions? Now that I was standing right in front of her, I realized that it was a bit creepy of me but at the same time, I couldn't help myself.

"Yes! It's good isn't it?"

It was, in fact, very good, and I also knew exactly who wrote it and who was singing, but once again, I didn't mention it.

"Yea, definitely."

She sent me a smile that I sent back and we suddenly went quiet. I kept staring at her, wondering what she'd do if I'd just cup her face and kissed her but also knowing i'd never have the guts to do it. Having her so close made all my feelings so much more real, vivid and alive that I could barely breathe in her presence.

We had been friends for decades and had dated for a year but never before have I felt like this around her. Everything about her was shining in a way it never did before and what emanated from her was reflecting on me and illuminating my soul. I had no idea how she did that and most likely, she wasn't even aware of the effect she had on me.

"It's just... so good to see you." I let out, shaking my head as she raised her eyebrows and smiled.

I had missed her. I had missed her energy, her presence, her vibe. I had missed her laughter, her touch and her kisses. I had missed her friendship and her love. It was hard to believe I actually broke up with her for... for what, exactly?

"You too, Nee." she just said, tilting her head. "I'll text you."

I knew in the way that she was looking at me that we weren't on the same page and even though I didn't want to admit it to myself, I sort of wished she would still love me the way she used to. Hell, even just half of the love she used to feel for me would be enough. But there she was, standing in front of me, acting like we didn't have this painful and crazy history, and that hurt in a way I couldn't explain.

"Liv, are you gonna help or not?" Julie let out from a bit further, sticking her fork in one of the pieces of cake. "I'm getting a bit nauseous, you know I don't have a sweet tooth!"

Olivia looked back but turned again to me and chuckled without answering her. It made me laugh a bit when I saw her expression. Finally, something that was still exactly the same.

"Sorry, i'm gonna have to-"

"Yea no, it's cool." I replied, cutting her and frowning as I shook my head and shrugged. "Just text me."

"NEIL HOREIN?"

I grimaced at the sound of my name being mispronounced and cringed slightly, making Olivia laugh even more.

"I should be used to this but I never will." I admitted, my eyes closed. "You'd think after a few platinum albums, people would get it right."

"Well, keeps you grounded doesn't it?" she joked, trying to suppress a laugh.

"For sure." I just agreed, rising my nose up before sending her a smile. "Take care yea?"

Without thinking, I brought my hand up and my fingers brushed against the skin of her arm and I realized I hadn't touched her in over a year. It gave me a shock that seemed to cross my entire body and I held my breath, taking my hand back. She didn't seem fazed at all by this connection and she just raised her hand up as a goodbye sign. I took a step back and finally turned around to reach the front of the shop to pay. I turned to look at her again but she was back to trying out cakes and I took the box the lady behind the counter was handing me before thanking her and leaving.

Everything seemed surreal as I stepped foot out and I held my breath and closed my eyes until I heard my phone beep again. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of Olivia messaging me already but it dropped when I noticed it was only my girlfriend again.

'So? The cake?'

I sighed, slightly annoyed, but typed a quick answer as I was reaching my car.

'Got it. On my way.'

                                                        -----

I quickly opened the door and took my shoes off before closing it with my foot and walking to the kitchen. I didn't know where my girlfriend was and simply put the cake in the fridge before sitting down in the living room, grabbing my guitar and putting it on my lap. I took the notebook I had left on the coffee table and started scribbling the two-line lyrics that had been stuck in my head the whole drive until home.

I was not ready for a new album yet but that didn't mean I couldn't work on new music while waiting and I just stared at the words written for a few seconds without blinking. Quickly, I added a few words before and worked on the verses. I could feel my heart beat hard against my rib cage as I re-read the words and I finally took my guitar and started playing while recording myself. I didn't know if half an hour had even passed when I heard footsteps coming from downstairs and I stopped recording, barely believing I had written something decent enough to be used in a future album. I was so lost in my mind that it took me a few seconds to realize someone was taking to me.

"Niall? Hello?"

"Mm?" I blinked a few times and turned my head, my eyes meeting my girlfriend's. "Sorry love, what did you say?"

"The. Cake." she let out very annoyed, after probably repeating it a few times.

"The. Fridge." I replied meanly, feeling suddenly a bit guilty for being rude. "You're gonna have to try and trust me, you know." I added slightly louder as she reached the kitchen.

She came back with a bottle of water and sat next to me, swallowing half of it quickly. She was wearing her work-out clothes and pushed her high ponytail over her shoulder, taking one of her earbuds off.

"I thought you were going out for a run?" I asked, frowning for a second before closing the notebook in front of me.

I didn't want her to read what I had written or to ask to hear it but I knew it was not likely that she would. She had stopped caring about things I enjoyed a while ago. Why did we start dating again?

"Wasn't in the mood to be photographed." she let out with a grimace, making me chuckle.

"Oh yea? Since when?"

She turned to me and if looks could kill, i'd be fucking dead on the spot. I cleared my throat and shrugged a shoulder, leaning against the couch. I wanted to point out to her that I was right but instead, I closed my eyes, humming my new song and feeling something twist in my chest. How could one person inspire me so much? Was she also going to be the muse for my second album? I desperately wanted to believe i'd be back with her soon and be able to write a few happy songs for the second one but after the short encounter we just had had, I was not even sure she still had feelings for me. It did the opposite for me, though ; i was now totally sure that I was still in love with her.

"Okay well, can you order?" my girlfriend asked, taking me out of my daydream as she put her hand on my thigh. "I need to rehearse a bit more, okay?"

She didn't wait for my answer and just got up, running back downstairs with her water bottle and I closed my eyes again. After I broke up with Olivia, I decided to go out every night, have fun and fuck whoever I wanted. The first few times felt amazing but the more I was fucking around, the more I realized it was not for me. The flirting part was nice enough, and the sex wasn't so bad most of the time but the feeling i'd get when i'd wake up in the morning was horrible, like a bitter aftertaste of some expired milk that remained in your fridge for too long. The truth was, sex with a stranger is good, but never as good as sex with someone you love, for many many reasons. When feelings were involved, there was clearly something stronger coming from the whole moment and after a while, you know that person so well that you know exactly what she wants and what it means when she does a certain face, or moans a certain way. There was something important and safe in the choreography of our bodies and I hadn't found that special feeling and connection with anyone else,  not even my current girlfriend. No, sex was not everything, but with the right person, it was ecstatic and emotional at the same time.

I grabbed my phone and looked at our conversation. There was only the smiling emoji I had sent her yet and I started nibbling on my bottom lip. She hadn't messaged me yet and I was a bit scared she never would. I started typing a message slowly, telling myself that if she'd never message me, at least, she'd know how I felt.

'If honesty means telling you the truth, well i'm still in love with you'

I blinked a few times, staring at the words I had typed from the song I had written, until I couldn't read them anymore due to the tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe I was crying, I couldn't believe it would hurt so much to see her so well without me and at the same time, that thought was so selfish it made me feel guilty. After all, I was the one who had broken up with her, and she didn’t owe me anything. She hadn’t spent the last year dwelling on the past or crying for me.

I swallowed, ready to hit 'send', when my phone beeped. I wiped my eyes quickly and the left corner of my lips raised up. I felt like someone had taken a load off my shoulders and I breathed in deeply as I read her message.

'Coffee tomorrow afternoon, are you free? 🤪'

I chuckled at the emoji and quickly, I deleted the lyrics I was about to send her to replace it with an answer to her question. I wanted to see her and if she had asked me to drive to her at this exact moment, I would have in a heartbeat. Everything I did in the past year was only to lead me to this exact moment.

'Always free for you 🥰'