#Osomatsu Matsumoto headcanons

[oinkinpigprince]

Osomatsusan older sibling headcanons!!!!!

In this the sibling is still in highschool, lol(I’m in high school, I want out I’m boutta go bonkers)

Osomatsu

This little shit, he tries so hard to be the respectable older brother. But you know damn well he’s a little scum bag

Gives really bad dating advice, like he knows what he’s talking about. You listen to him and you got yourself a one way ticket to a restraining order

Tries to help you with homework n shit but, he’s secretly illiterate and can’t do long division. He tries his best

If you ask him to do your homework though and you get a low grade, he’ll be so fucking offended. Probably go down to the school himself to complain

DONT THINK JUST BECAUSE YOUR A BABY HE WONT BE A DICK TO YOU

He makes fun of you so fucking hard, it won’t matter if you’re turning 18 in 2 days he’ll come up to you like “ew who left this ugly deformed baby here, get out you stupid little baby!!!”

He isn’t allowed to pick you up from anywhere, you had to walk in the rain cause he forgot you existed lol

This has happened more then once

He worked his ass off to repay you each time though, he’ll spend all the yen he earn to make you forgive him

Genuinely does care for you and if you bring someone home, he’ll pull the scary big brother act. Doesn’t matter your gender or your partners gender. He needs to show them who they’re gonna have to deal with >:((

Karamatsu

Karamatsu is SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING, YOU CANT GO ANYWHERE WITH HIM

Pray to god he never sees you hanging out with friends, he’ll unintentionally embarrass the hell out of you

You two locked eyes and you knew damn and well it was over for you

“Is that my dearest baby sibling? Oh and they have company! My dearest angel baby sibling may I accompany thee to make sure no one gives you any trouble”

“Karamatsu I’m fucking 17” “nonsense, I know you have trouble speaking up for yourself so allow me to! My darling baby sibling”

He just wants to make sure his dearest darling angel baby sweetest little sibling is okay and doesn’t get hurt

Actually very sweet, and just wants you to know you’re loved and cared for. He’s probably the best one to come to if you’re having problems

He probably will cry if you struggle with insecurities and self doubt, you’re so cool how fucking could you >:((

If you wanna explore your style him and Todomatsu are your guys. He’d probably love dolling you up in his flashy clothing

The rest of the brothers make fun of you, but the happiness in Karamatsu’s eyes seeing his baby sibling indulge in his wacky clothing sense makes it worth it

Cannot fathom you doing ANYTHING wrong, he could watch you smoke crack out of a pipe and he’s just like “lol, what cool magic tricks my dearest sibling does!”

Will fight tooth and nail for you, even if you’re in the wrong

“Hey (y/n)! You took my fucking donut”

“how could you even fathom them doing something so stupid they would never!”

“Lol i totally did”

“. . . My dear baby sibling once again, taking the blame so their elder brothers don’t have to fight! Taking on the burden of keeping us from tearing each other apart! Truly remarkable!”

Choromatsu

Mother hen!! Smothers you a lot to make sure you’re doing fine and you’re getting enough sleep, food, and water(I think he just likes the authority he gets over you)

If you’re a shut in he’ll take you on walks around the park and maybe buy you a little treat, to make sure you don’t shrivel away in the dark

Has beaten osomatsu and Karamatsu’s asses for doing your home work for you. Makes you do it yourself but guides you to the right answer

Probably pressures you into taking higher classes, joining clubs, and other things. Wants you to he successful and well rounded so you aren’t stuck like him and the other brothers

If you are also into idols he is ECSTATIC, if he wants to share his interests and hobbies with anyone it’s YOU

Actually loves listening to the music you enjoy, even if it’s death metal or rap. He’ll indulge in it to get closer to you.

You and him have lazy days where you watch magical girl shows like salior moon or madoka

Hassles you on your friends and what they’re like, doesn’t care for drama but likes to keep tabs on the types of crowds you’re in

If you get sick, it’s fucking over for you. Will not let you out of bed for a hurricane, will make you sleep in that bad and take all of the gross medicines that make you feel sicker than before

Ichimatsu

Doesn’t actually talk to you much, he loves you and all but just kinda tries and hides from you at home

He feels like a total fuck up, and hates the idea of you seeing him as a useless bag of garbage

Ichimatsu though does like watching you grow up, when he sees you out with friends he can’t help but tear up a little

Seeing you so happy with your friends makes him feel all warm and fuzzy, he just hope you’re being true to yourself unlike him

He totally goes to fuck it up though, 100% he spots you with your friends and decides ‘I’m gonna ruin this precious moment’ strolls up like “you kids ever heard of goatse?”

You have to SCREECH at him before he scares off your friends, he thinks it’s so fucking funny the way you try and claw at his face to give him to shut up

“You ever heard of this thing called un-bir-” “OMFG GO AWAY YOU CHRONICALLY ONLINE TROLL!!!!!”

Absolute bastard, he knows it pisses you off

Sometimes though, he’ll bring you a random cat and just kinda, hand it to you. You have to pet it, it’s the law, you have to listen to your big brother, he’ll call the fuckin, pet the cat, don’t make him call the police on you

He’s the reason why you cannot tell your brothers if you’re going on a date, he’ll find you, and when he does. You might as well have cancel the date and faked your own death and move to Russia

Scares the shit out of you and your partner, you and your partner are sitting at a cute cafe and he just sits right next to your partner and stares so intensely, unblinking

It doesn’t end until your partner leaves, mission success. Doesn’t even say goodbye just leaves

Jyushimatsu

Makes you play baseball with him, he’s the reason you can pitch a perfect throw

Wants to be around you constantly, and knows exactly how to make you smile and laugh, and abuses it horribly

He’s actually one of the sweetest brothers, he’ll try and help you with EVERYTHING, doesn’t matter if he’s any good

Would really want you to join a sport but if you end up being more into the arts he’s just as happy

He still thinks of you as a little baby so when you mention anything about highschool or normal teenage activities hes Just Like “BUT YOURE LIKE 3?!” “JYUSHI IM FUCKING 18”

Jyushimatsu had no perception of time, you’re 3 years old forever, sorry

Him and Choromatsu bring you out a lot, especially if you don’t go out he’ll drag you to do activities, and he gets creative

He’ll pick you up and go “ewwww, look at this stinky baby, let’s throw it back in the dumpster”

Jyushimatsu never lets you over work yourself, every time he sees you even remotely stressed he is ON IT, he’ll octopus wrestle you onto the floor for a nap, no escape

Jyushi also is probably the most ride or die person you will meet, if you told him you kicked a yakuza member in the balls and stole their money and contraband he’ll just nod and say “okay, let me go get my bat” and help you dismantle the entire crime district just so you don’t get hurt

But usually he’ll just drive you to target to go replace a vase you broke

Todomatsu

You’re his only sibling, he only has a younger sibling and he will die on that fact

Todomatsu will often take you out to drink coffee and take pictures, he loves spending time with you almost as much as Jyushimatsu and buys you tones of cute clothes

He loves playing dress up w/ you, especially if you’ll let him dress you up really girly

He’ll grab you and use you to pick up chicks too, playing the perfect big brother role. He acts so sweet but you know it’s a slimey little act

Todo constantly asks who your favorite brother is, kicking his legs up trying to look cute. God forbid you say anyone but him, he once refused to talk to you for a week cause you said someone else

“ WELL WHY DONT YOU GO ASK YOUR FAAAAV BROTHER THEN!!”

He is really cuddly though, you’re having a bad day and just wanna relax go to him. He’ll get you some snacks and put on a movie and you two will just sit under a blanket and talk shit about the other people at your high school

He also loooves the Highschool drama, he will sit you down and buy you coffee just for the chance to judge a bunch of children’s morality choices and also spend time with you. Friend drama? Class drama? Some kid almost died from alcohol poisoning in math class? He’s all ears

Todomatsu will also tell you about all of the shit he use to get into during his highschool year (he’s totally not lying or really did happen you have to believe him)

When it comes to dating he actually have some decent advice but also complains, how can you get bitches and he can’t?! It’s not fair he’s cuter than you!!

You feel so loved in this house

[mentionally]

Osomatsu San with an S/O who has a twin brother

gender neutral reader since it wasn’t specified

Osomatsu:

huh

who is who

he could tell yall apart if u looked nothing alike

despite being a form of “twin” himself, he just thinks that every twin is an identical one

i’m gonna be fr he prob doesn’t like ur brother LMFAO

(he doesnt know yall r twins)

“man u fr spent ur whole life with her, and you think that i don’t know what you’re doing”

“what’s he doing”

“he’s trying to take u from me????? tf???? childhood best friends obv”

karamatsu:

oh

hi

ig he doesn’t feel as alone as he did before

a twin isn’t the same as have 5 other identical siblings, but y’all COULD share problems

maybe

“darling, i can tell you apart with ease!” (he cant)

“your brother can’t match the delicate beauty of you!!!!!”

ur brother fr gotta be makin fun of him

choromatsu:

i’m gonna be so fr bc this is in character

he’d think abt some hentai with twins

LETS BE FR

would never say anything tho

doesnt rlly talk to ur brother tho

he does however stalk them on social media

he has this irrational fear of you having a double life

HE HAS TO mAKE SURe CMON

ichimatsu:

huh????? ok???

he doesnt gaf

as long as ur brother isn’t like his brothers, he wont rlly have an issue

and he can’t be loud

or friendly

or argumentative

or anything thats gonna piss him off

he will scratch

jyushimatsu:

WOAHHHSBCD{EBUv

TWINS??????

THATS UR TWIN BROTHER?????

HELLO????????????S>GVDFR

very happy

he’s a friendly puppy in a man’s body

if his impulsive thoughts get to him he might roll over and ask for belly rubs

todomatsu:

omgggg

that’s so cool!!!!!

we should like

post smthn

as uhhhhhh

memorabilia of our first meeting

(he crops your brother out of the picture)

he’s a little jealous of him

he doesnt know why

he just is

he does however tag his arm that wasnt cropped out