#PART OF HIMSELF IN THE METACRISIS IS TRAPPED THE OTHER SIDE OF A WALL

[sunniebelle]

My Golden Valentine

Tentoo x Rose

The Doctor works diligently to give Rose a Valentine's Day experience she will never forget.

A03, TSP, Deviantart, FF.net

Rose Tyler’s day had been decidedly unpleasant, frustrating, and stressful. It seemed like one thing after another had gone wrong, and just when she thought things were looking up, something else would happen to prove her wrong. The icing to the cake had been the unexpected field assignment in which she almost lost a member of her team.

What she really needed was a cuppa and a hug from her Doctor. She knew the latter would help her forget her awful day. She would have visited him in his workshop at Torchwood earlier in the day, but he had taken the day off today for a reason he refused to reveal to her.

Rose pulled into the carpark of the flat she shared with her half-human, half-Time Lord Doctor. She walked to the flat’s side entrance and slid her key into the lock of the door with a tired sigh, then moved through the entry hall that deadened into the kitchen. She set her bag down on a chair, stripped off her leather jacket and hung it on the back of the chair. Tea was her first order of business and she pulled out her favorite mug and the tea container and walked over to the stove to turn the burner on under the kettle.

A flash of color in her peripherals caught her attention, though, and she turned to look at the kitchen table, causing her to promptly forget everything she was previously doing. She was thankful she didn’t have anything in her hands, since she was sure that she would not have been able to hold anything, given her shock.

The round kitchen table had a gold lace table cloth draped over it and a thin layer of red rose petals were scattered across the intricate lace pattern. Sitting atop the petals was the most beautiful potted plant she thought she had ever seen. It was an orchid, a red orchid. The sight drew her in; she walked toward the table a bit dazed. When she was close enough, she bent slightly to inhale the lovely fragrance of the flowers, before her fingers gently caressed the tender petals of the naturally drooping plant. The color and the beauty of the plant were so mesmerizing it took her a moment to even notice the pink cardstock and envelope leaning against the base of the plant.

She picked up the pink paper with a smile lighting her face. The first thing she noticed was the two gold roses embossed into opposite corners of the card, with curling ivy trailing the sides of the paper. Then she saw the fine, flowing script in the center, written in black ink. It read:

My Golden Rose,

Will you be my Valentine?

Your Doctor

Rose wasn’t aware of how big her smile had gotten until her cheeks started to ache.

She loved being able to make that claim, that the Doctor was hers, and she loved to hear him declare that she was his own; but to see the two declarations from him in writing, made her heart flutter slightly.

“Oh, that wonderful man,” she murmured to herself.

Her fingers traced the intricate pattern on the card and the Doctor’s writing for a moment, before turning her attention to the pink envelope still on the table. Inside she pulled out a small bundle of papers. Looking through them she found two first class zeppelin tickets from London to Fairbanks, Alaska and an information packet regarding their accommodations at a private cabin they would evidently be staying in.

“So, what’d’ya think?” the Doctor asked suddenly, making Rose look up quickly. “Would you like to go on an adventure with me?” he asked.

She studied him a moment as he leaned against the wall looking completely at ease, but she could see the worried gleam in his eye, the fear that she might refuse him. As though she would ever refuse the Doctor! Especially when he had obviously put so much time and effort into a gesture that was so romantic and thoughtful. She felt her love for this man swell to the point she thought she might burst.

Rose put the papers she was still holding down and walked over to him quickly. He pushed off from the wall as she moved toward him, his arms encircling her waist as her arms looped around his neck. She surprised him by suddenly pulling his head down as she raised herself up, her lips meeting his in a hard kiss; it quickly turned into a long and passionate kiss that left them both dizzy with the intensity of it.

Rose finally before pulled back with a soft popping noise and looked at her Doctor. She was satisfied to see a dazed look to his eyes and wanted to giggle at the way he had to clear his throat before speaking.

“Should I take that as a yes, then?” he asked in a gruff whisper.

“’S a definite yes,” she said with an amused smile, before adding, “It was also a thank you.”

He tilted his head and asked, “What for?”

“For making my exceptionally bad day so much better. And for making me feel special and loved,” she said, running her hand through the hair at the back of his neck.

He held her a little closer and said, “I’m sorry you had a bad day, but I’m glad that I could help make it better.”

He kissed her softly once more then peppered her face with kisses as he whispered, “You are special, and brilliant, and beautiful, and I love you, Rose Tyler.” By the time he was finished pressing light kisses to her face, she was giggling with happiness.

“I love you too, my Doctor,” she whispered back, capturing his lips with hers again.

The Doctor offered to fix her a cuppa while she got comfortable, to which she readily agreed. When she had changed into more comfortable clothing, they settled together on the couch and he explained a bit more of his plans to her.

“We leave for Alaska in three days.  I’ve already cleared your schedule with Pete, who also promised he would not let Jackie or Torchwood disturb us for the week and a half we are on vacation,” he said, then paused a moment before continuing, “I know our first Valentine’s Day in this universe was not really good and that was my fault. I wanted to make it up to you this year.”

Rose’s traitorous mind went back to their first Valentine’s Day in Pete’s World.

It had only been a few weeks since the day she had found her Doctor, since they had fought and saved the whole of reality, and since she and the metacrisis Doctor had been left behind in Pete’s World. The first couple of weeks were the most difficult, while they were getting used to being together again.

Rose felt like they were both walking on thin ice when they were around each other, but she tried her best to be understanding and patient. After all, the Doctor was adjusting to a new, part-human body, with ever-so-slightly different emotions and patterns of thinking, and a whole host of new human hormones. His TARDIS was gone—at least until the new one was grown—and with it his ability to travel through time and space, forcing him to live life on the slow path. And all of this in a completely different universe.

She had gone through some very similar things when she had been trapped in Pete’s World, but she at least had several years to adjust.

However, her breaking point arrived on Valentine’s Day. She spent a good portion of the day cooking him a special dinner and his favorite desert, banana cream pie.

When he asked what the special occasion was, in regards to the special dinner, she stared at him for several long moments not knowing what to say. The longer she stayed quiet, the more worried he became, realizing he had blundered, but unsure what he had done wrong.

“’S...’S Valentine’s Day,” she said in a hesitant whisper. She’d thought the holiday was important to them, since they had celebrated it for the first time shortly before she was trapped in Pete’s World.

He sheepishly admitted that he had forgotten the holiday, in all the confusion of getting used to a new universe and new body.

Almost immediately she dissolved into tears, no longer able to hold in her very real fears of being left behind and feeling very unwanted.

The Doctor silently cursed himself and called himself every type of fool as he apologized profusely. He held her and reassured her repeatedly that he loved her very much, did want her and always would, and that he would never leave her and never abandon her. It took some time, but she finally quieted and they enjoyed the meal she had prepared.

However, this situation was  the catalyst for them having a much needed conversation. They both laid their fears and expectations down and were completely open and honest—this was something the Doctor had never been very good at or willing to do, but after seeing Rose so distraught and utterly crushed by his thoughtlessness, he was willing to do anything to make her understand how much he needed her and loved her.

After their talk, they both felt like they were finally able to take their first steps toward feeling normal with each other again.

Rose pushed the memories aside and snuggled deeper into the Doctor’s side and sipped her tea.

“You’ve already made it up to me, just by remembering,” she assured him, “and I don’t know that I’ve ever seen such gorgeous flowers. It’s all wonderful. Thank you, Doctor.”

The Doctor bent his head down and kissed her softly, then she laid her head on his chest with a contented sigh.  

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Five days later Rose and the Doctor walked into their cabin and Rose instantly fell in love with the rustic but elegant design. It looked like a plain log cabin from the outside, but the inside was charming, cozy, and had multiple windows which nicely illuminated the dark wood furnishings and light wood walls and floors. A white plush sofa situated in front of the fireplace looked very inviting and Rose imagined that she would enjoy curling up against the Doctor in front of a roaring fire at night.

She also admired the white down bedding on the King size mattress. Before she could allow her mind to wander too far into what she envisioned the two of them doing on that bed, she walked over to the Doctor and wound her arms around his waist and placed her cheek against his chest, enjoying the steady rhythm of his single heartbeat. It had taken her a while to get used to hearing it rather the staccato of the double heartbeat, but the sound was now familiar and comforting.

“Thank you for this, Doctor. ’S lovely,” she said as she drew back to look at his smiling face. Evidently he was very pleased with himself over his plans coming together and her enjoyment of them.

“I’m glad you think so. This was a place that I had always wanted to take you and you’ll see why by the end of our trip,” he said as he waggled his eyebrows.

“You think you’re so impressive,” she said, with a teasing smile.

“Oi! I am so impressive!” he retorted, his voice squeaking slightly as he faked offense.

Her smile turned coy and she added a seductive lilt to her voice, “Are you planning to impress me with your moves, Doctor?”

“If my memory serves me correctly, Rose Tyler, I’ve impressed you quite a few times with my moves. ’Course, I wouldn’t want to boast,” he said as his hands lowered to her hips and pulled her closer. A shiver ran through her as a warm sensation spiraled through her. 

She couldn’t help but remember a conversation they’d had long ago that was very similar to this, and she smiled in fond remembrance of her first Doctor, almost hearing his Northern accent as they flirted.

“Yes, Doctor, I must admit you are quite impressive,” she said, giving him the tongue-touched smile he could rarely resist, just before he captured her lips with his own.

She sighed in pleasure as he deepened the kiss. Rose didn’t think she would ever tire of the tingling and slightly dizzying sensation that always swept through her when her Doctor kissed her.

Several moments later they parted to breathe and the Doctor reluctantly stepped away, but took her hand within his and linked their fingers.

“Come on. Let the adventure begin!” he said, his voice gruff from their passionate kiss, but his smile was huge as he exclaimed, “Allons-y!”

The rest of the day was spent visiting the Alaskan History Museum and the House Art Gallery. Rose enjoyed hearing the Doctor’s lectures on the artifacts, the native people and their culture, the history of Fairbanks and of Alaska itself—and several other rambling commentaries he got off on.

Twice Rose had to fight back a smile as she stopped the Doctor from correcting a tour guide on certain points of history, quietly reminding him that they were in an alternate universe and that it probably happened differently here than in the main universe.

The warmth of the buildings was a welcome relief from the bitter February temperatures outside. She took advantage of every opportunity to hold the Doctor’s hand and loved the few times he draped his arm over her shoulders.

After they enjoyed their dinner reservations, they sat together cuddled in front of the fire enjoying a cuppa. Rose had made certain to pack tea for this trip, since she knew this was one comfort she didn’t want to be without for a week and a half. She and the Doctor watched the fire dance across the wood in the stone fireplace, enjoying its warmth and each other’s company.

It wasn’t long before Rose felt herself start to drift between reality and a dream world; the combination of leaving all the worries of her job behind, the long zeppelin ride, the busyness of the day exploring, was all working together to lull her to sleep. The comforting and relaxing sound of the Doctor’s heartbeat was also helping sleep’s grip on her.

She thought she was dreaming when she felt the Doctor lifting her into his arms and carrying her, but when she felt the cool, velvety softness of the sheets, she realized she must have dozed off and he had carried her to bed.

She murmured a sleepy thank you to him and hummed in pleasure when she felt him spoon against her, and press a kiss to her neck as he wrapped an arm around her waist. She slipped into a peaceful sleep soon after, dreaming of hearing the Doctor tell her he loved her and calling her his lovely Golden Rose.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For the rest of their week and a half long vacation, their days were filled with sightseeing and their evenings were spent relaxing together in the comfort of each other’s arms in front of the fireplace. Not wanting to waste time with guided tours and buses, the Doctor rented a car to take them to the destinations he had planned.

He took Rose to the Wedgewood Wildlife Sanctuary and they had a grand time walking around the reserve, marveling at the beauty of the land and animals in their natural habitat. Rose was amazed by the number of bird species they saw at the Migratory Waterfowl Refuge. (She was a only slightly surprised when he pointed out a couple of species which were actually native to the Pestrilia and Mecacarro Galaxies, having found the atmosphere of Earth more conducive to their breeding and hatching needs.)

They went to the Reindeer Ranch and Rose doubled over laughing when one of the bulls got offended by something the Doctor said—of course, this was after he had boasted about being able to speak a multitude of languages, one of them being reindeer. It wasn’t long before they realized they would have to make a run for it or risk being gored by giant antlers or trampled by hooves. Rose was unsurprised, but happy nonetheless, that even on holiday they wound up hand-in-hand, running for their lives.

They both enjoyed the thrill of being pulled by a team of Alaskan huskies and also enjoyed racing each other down a ski slope. One of Rose’s favorite times was enjoying a long soak in the hot springs, but even more so when the Doctor joined her and massaged her back and shoulders.

When Valentine’s Day was only a day away, the Doctor told Rose to dress warmly and they took a drove for a good clip into an unpopulated mountainous area. Upon arriving at the Doctor’s secret location, he collected a picnic basket full of food and a couple of thick blankets from the boot.

“I’ve purposefully saved the best part of the vacation for last,” he said mysteriously as he walked with her to a clearing that was surrounded by tall mountains. He told her that for his surprise to work, it was best if they were well away from light pollution.

The Doctor and Rose spread out their blanket just as the sun dipped below the horizon. They sat close together as they ate a spread of various meats, cheeses, crackers, fruit, and their favorite red wine.

After packing up their meal, they lie on their backs and draped the other blanket over themselves. With the sun gone the temperature had dropped, so Rose snuggled close to her Doctor for extra warmth as they gazed at the night sky.

She realized how right the Doctor had been about light pollution, since the sky was filled to bursting with stars. There were so many, she had trouble finding a darkened space where there weren’t any.

The Doctor pointed to several places he wanted to take Rose as soon as the TARDIS was fully grown. Some of the destinations were places they had been to in the main universe, but others were places he had wanted to take her and that he planned to do so in the near future.

Rose was slightly startled a few minutes later when she suddenly saw a streak of green shoot across the sky. They both watched in silent awe as one color after another danced across the starlit sky. She had seen the Northern lights a couple of times in her life, but as the Doctor had mentioned earlier, lights of the city dulled the experience of it.

She loved when the Doctor rambles on with lectures about how things work and loves to listen to his voice, so she quietly asks him about the Aurora Borealis. He obliges and tells her about the differences between the northern and southern Borealis’, how the gases in the atmosphere trigger the process. He then tells her about other planets with similar natural phenomenas, while some  don’t have the proper atmosphere, but enjoy the  Aurora Borealis so much that they simulate their own light shows.

Listening to her Doctor talk while lying beneath the vast expanse of the sky, while brilliant neon red, green, purple, and yellow lights blazed across the sky, Rose knew that this was an experience she would never forget.

She looked over at the Doctor and found him studying her face in the shifting light, his face declaring his adoration and love for his pink and yellow human, his Golden Rose. Just when she was about to lean forward and kiss him, he suddenly lept to his feet in a gracefully swift move, and held a hand out for her.

“Come on,” he said softly, holding out his hand to her, “dance with me. It’s not every day you get to do so beneath the light of the Aurora Borealis.” She smiled at him and was unable to refuse such a charming and romantic gesture.

Though there was no music, they moved together in a slow waltz as the Doctor serenaded her with “Love Me Tender,” “Can’t Help Falling In Love With You,” and other romantic Elvis Presley songs.  Rose could feel herself falling even more in love with her Doctor with every passing moment.

As their waltz slowed to a gentle swaying rhythm, she laid her head down on his chest and felt his voice vibrate through her as he held her close and sang to her.

Later when they stopped moving, pausing to look up at the sky, they saw that the colors were still dancing across the stars.

“Midnight,” the Doctor murmured suddenly, causing her to look at him questioningly. He looked down at her and said, “It’s midnight, meaning it’s now officially Valentine’s Day.”

He lowered his mouth to her ear and whispered, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Rose Tyler.” She shivered as he said her name, the way he seemed to caress it as it left his mouth.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my Doctor,” she whispered back to him, tilting her head up to accept his kiss.

In that moment, she was happier than she had ever been in her life. She put all the happiness and love she felt for him into their kiss.

Rose Tyler knew that she would never forget this experience with her Doctor and that it would be a memory that she would treasure forever.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Notes: Written for @doctorrosepromtps on Tumblr. Prompt: Valentine’s Day

Also written for Unseen-Writers’ Theme of the Week: Aurora Borealis on Deviant Art

Research references for Aurora Borealis and Fairbanks, Alaska:

thriftynomads.com/best-places-see-northern-lights/  

thriftynomads.com/best-places-see-northern-lights/#The_best_places_to_see_the_Northern_Lights

and

tripadvisor.com/Attractions-g60826-Activities-Fairbanks_Alaska.html

[raywritesthings]

A Touch Out of Sync

My Writing Fandom: Doctor Who Characters: Donna Noble, Tenth Doctor Summary: The Doctor finds a different method of removing Donna's memories of the metacrisis. AO3 link

The Doctor was walking out to meet the Daleks on their Crucible, and Donna didn’t know what to do.

This was it. No clever tricks, no last minute plan. She could see it in his eyes. He was convinced this was the end for them.

Donna wanted to help, even if just by standing with him to the end, but something held her back. There was a sound, she kept hearing it and no one else did. It sounded like a heartbeat, but how was that possible? She looked back at the darkened, empty TARDIS.

It was the Doctor’s voice that snapped her out of it again. “Donna! You’re no safer in there!”

He was right, of course. Whatever she thought she kept hearing she needed to focus. Donna took a step towards the door—

And blinked, suddenly finding herself in an entirely different room. There was something squishy and a little bit slimy in her hand. The something was wriggling. Donna looked down.

It looked like an ugly, overgrown maggot.

“Oh my God!”

Donna dropped it with a shriek and stumbled backward several steps. It hit the floor with a wet squelch.

“Donna! Donna, don’t panic!” said the Doctor, who was standing just in front of her and the creature.

“Don’t panic? Don’t panic?” She echoed. “What the hell is that thing?”

“It’s alright, it won’t hurt you! Just don’t touch it again.”

“Why was I touching it in the first place?” She demanded.

The Doctor didn’t answer. Instead he bent down and scooped the thing up in his own hands, which were covered by a pair of large gauntlets.

“There we go. I’m pretty sure it took. We’ll just put you away for now,” he was saying to the thing. “Good work!”

“What took?”

He turned away from her. Donna frowned, looking about for someone else to hopefully answer her. What had happened to Jack or Rose, or the Crucible for that matter? She highly doubted wherever they were was part of it!

They were in a large and high-ceilinged room, containing large glass cases every twenty feet or so. The contents of each case was different. In fact, each was designed like a habitat in a zoo — although the habitats and creatures she could see were like nothing on Earth!

“Where are we? What just happened?” She was holding the hand that the creature had been in slightly away from herself. There wasn’t any slime left on it but to her it still just seemed so dirty.

“We’re in the TARDIS.”

Donna blinked. “What? This looks nothing like it.”

“You think you’ve seen everywhere on the TARDIS?” Spaceman scoffed. “The Old Girl’s practically limitless. Even I haven’t seen it all.”

He crouched in front of one of the cases closest to her and opened a small hatch, reaching in to place the thing inside.

“What happened to the others? The Daleks? And what the hell is that thing?”

He’d set it down now, allowing Donna to get another look at the ugly, vaguely slimy sort of creature. It had fangs. She watched it wriggle on the floor of its habitat in disgust.

“It’s called a memory worm.”

“A what?”

“A memory worm.”

“Why is it called that?”

The Doctor shut the hatch and stripped off his gauntlets. He dropped them in a bin sitting to the side of the case, then turned to her and seized her by the shoulders.

“What do you remember last?”

Donna blinked under the intense stare he was fixing her with, but answered, “We were on the TARDIS. The Daleks had brought it up to the Crucible and they wanted us to come out. I was just leaving — and then I was here.”

“That’s it? That’s all you remember?” He checked.

“Yeah. What’s going on?”

“How’s your head?” He asked instead.

“You mean apart from bloody confused?”

“No, but — it’s not hurting?”

“No. Why would it be?”

For some reason her answer caused the Doctor to smile, the soft, warm kind that seemed to lift the heavy burdens of his past away for a moment. He pulled her into a hug, which Donna didn’t exactly object to, even if she didn’t understand why he was doing it or why he was holding her so tightly.

“No reason,” he murmured into her hair. “No reason at all.”

Was he crying?

“Doctor, what is going on?” She demanded again. “What are we doing in here? And how’d we get here?”

“We walked.”

“Oi, don’t get cheeky,” she snapped, pulling out of his arms. That at least got him grinning. “I don’t even remember getting here so when the hell did that happen?”

“Donna…” the Doctor scrubbed a hand over his cheek, seeming very reluctant to continue. “Maybe you should sit down.”

She tensed. “Why? What happened? Where are the others? Are Jack and Rose okay?”

“They’re fine,” he quickly assured, already leading her away from the case with its slimy overgrown maggot. He’d taken her left hand in his and placed his other hand at the small of her back to guide her over to a bench set back against the wall. Donna was too confused to complain about him getting touchy.

“But where are they?”

“Back home. Everyone’s back home, even the Earth. All the other planets, too.”

“What, seriously?”

The Doctor nodded.

“But they can’t have. That doesn’t make any sense. I — how did I miss this one?” Donna was at a total loss.

“You didn’t.” Now his expression was solemn even as he tried to keep smiling for her. “You were right there for all of it, Donna, and I wish more than anything you could remember how brilliant you were. You saved us all.” He spoke so earnestly, practically beaming at her as he held her hands despite what he said making absolutely no sense at all. Even if she had managed to do something to get them out of that mess, how could she not know about it? “But you’ve had about the last hour of your memories erased.”

Donna gaped. “How?”

“The memory worm. An invertebrate with a very unique survival mechanism,” he rattled off, in lecture mode apparently. “The substance it produces to cover its body causes whoever it comes into contact with to forget a portion of their most immediate memories. Just removes them completely.”

“And I touched it.”

“Yep,” he confirmed unnecessarily.

“Oh my God. Why did I do that? Why would I ever do that?”

“Well, you weren’t too keen,” he admitted, and Donna yanked her hands out of his grasp.

“You. You had me touch it?”

“On the bright side, touching it was enough. I was really hoping we could avoid the fangs,” he told her.

She glared at him. “You erased my memory.”

The Doctor sobered. “Donna, I had to. You can’t ever remember what happened for the last hour. It would kill you.”

What? “I don’t understand,” she stammered.

“I know. I’m sorry. So sorry, Donna.” He looked nearly about to cry again to her alarm. “It was all my fault.”

“Spaceman.” Donna reached out for one of his hands again, waiting for him to meet her eyes. “Just tell me what happened.”

“You saved us,” he repeated. “Stopped the Reality Bomb, stopped the Daleks. Put the planets back. There’d be nothing left out there, nothing in all of creation, if it hadn’t been for you.”

“Are you sure you didn’t lose your memory?” She nearly laughed. He wasn’t making any sense! “How’d I manage that?”

“A biological human-Time Lord metacrisis,” he rattled off, like those words in that order were supposed to mean anything. “You got trapped in the TARDIS. None of us knew why or how, but I suppose it just had to happen. Everything since the day we first met had been leading up to it, the timelines converging on each other.”

“What do you mean?” Rose had said something like that, just a few minutes — or an hour, she supposed — ago. “You’re talking, like, destiny.”

“I’m talking exactly like destiny,” said the Doctor. “I’m serious, Donna,” he insisted when she scoffed. “The universe needed you there right in that very moment, so it made it happen. When you were in the TARDIS, you said you could hear a heartbeat coming from my hand, the one that I siphoned the excess regeneration energy off into. So you touched it and it created the metacrisis. Half-human, half-Time Lord.”

It sounded ridiculous, but she had heard that heartbeat. It was one of the last things she could remember before being in this room with Spaceman.

“So what did that do?”

“Well, a lot of stuff, but the important thing was that it gave you access to my memories.” Her eyes widened. She’d had the Doctor’s mind in her head? “You used what you saw there to shut down the Reality Bomb, disable the Daleks, and free the rest of us. Plus putting all the planets back. You — Donna?”

She didn’t answer him. She was looking out across the room, struggling to remember anything remotely like what he said. But it just wasn’t there.

“Donna, are you okay?” It was only the urgency in his tone that caused her to turn back to him.

“Yeah, I suppose. Why did I forget?” She frowned, remembering the worm again. “Why’d you use that thing?”

“The knowledge you received from the metacrisis was too much for your mind to hold onto,” he told her. “It was killing you all the while you were using it to save everyone.”

“I was gonna die?”

“Yes.” She’d never seen him look so grave. “The memory worm was the only way to remove the metacrisis while leaving the majority of your memories intact. You’re still you, still here, still safe. Just lost an hour.” He seemed relieved, even pleased with himself.

“The most important hour of my life, apparently,” she said bitterly, looking away again.

“Donna?” He sounded so lost and confused. She glanced back at him.

“It’s just, I did all that...and I can’t even remember it for myself?”

The Doctor shook his head. “No. But I promise you, Donna, no one else will ever forget it. There are worlds out there, safe in the sky because of you. People living in the light and singing songs of Donna Noble, a thousand million light years away.”

It all sounded so unbelievable. People across the universe knowing her name? She was nobody.

“That’s not really the same though, is it?” She asked glumly. “It’s just a story.”

“Everything becomes a story eventually,” he consoled her. “And yours is the best.”

“But it’s not really about me. I mean, anyone could have touched that hand and made a metacrisis or whatever, couldn’t they?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Not just anyone. It needed you, Donna. Your mind, your human ingenuity, your brilliance. I would’ve never thought of half the things you did, not in nine-hundred years.”

“Sure.” She shook her head.

“You don’t believe me.” He was pouting.

“Well, I’ve only got your word to go on! Forgive me for being a little skeptical,” she remarked.

He perked up. “Oh, well, if that’s the problem that’s easily solved! Loads of witnesses. Martha, Sarah Jane, Jack, Mickey — they’ll tell you!” The Doctor leapt up from the couch and pulled her onto her feet with both hands.

“What, right now?” She asked with a laugh. “Who even is Mickey?”

He paused. “Oh, right. You met.”

“Oh. There’s really no way of me getting those memories back?” She couldn’t help checking once more.

“No.” He did at least look appropriately regretful now. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. Suppose it’s better than dying.” She tried to make her tone sound lighter than she felt, but the Doctor didn’t seem to buy it.

“Did you want to wait a bit before seeing the others?”

She felt herself smile a little at his consideration. “Yeah. Actually, can we check on my family?”

He smiled back. “Whatever you ask.”

The Doctor led her by the hand out into the TARDIS corridor. Donna was glad to leave the room and the memory worm behind. She didn’t like the idea of it being on board much at all, even if it had saved her life apparently. But she couldn’t help the resentment she felt towards what it had taken from her. A whole hour of her life she’d never get back, where so many amazing things had happened, where she’d finally meant something to the universe. Maybe she could believe Spaceman whenever he called her brilliant if she could still be like she was with the metacrisis.

Donna Noble, always missing stuff. At least she had someone to catch her up on everything this time.