#Pushing Solidus off anything is A Okay with me

[the-foxhounds]

"Son, comehere." His voice rang through my head, every word. Every command. Soldiers follow commands from their commanders. Sons follow orders from their father's. I followed both. All orders from my commander, all from my father.

"Father?" I spoke, standing tense at attention. His rough voice scratched my head. Danger. That's what my commander - my father was. Danger. But this danger is everything I know. How am I supposed to know I am in danger when all I've ever known his danger?

"Come sit on my lap." Solidus spoke, patting the spot on his thigh. There was a weird smell in the room. Father was smoking something that looked like a cigar. "Jack." Solidus barked. I rushed over, sitting on his thigh. My heart was pounding in my ears, it felt like i could hear my father's. His beat was slow, calm. "Father.." My voice trailed off, his hands wandering around my body, his hands pressing against my thighs, my abs, everywhere. Almost like a quick physical exam.

Solidus pressed the cigar to my mouth, "Inhale, my son. I'll make you feel better." I want to believe him, i'd do anything to but he only has brought me a dull pain. A pain that I can't seem to care about anymore. Is it pain if you grow acustom to it? "Father I-" My small voice tried to protest. He shook his head. "No. Inhale it. Five seconds." I let out a whine. I looked up at him, he was smirking. He pushed my mouth against the blunt, inhaling. One...Okay, this might not be that bad. Two..My head feels fuzzy. Three..Ny lungs are burning. It hurts. Four..I can not dissapoint my father. Five. I cough out the smoke, looking up at him. One hand rested at my throat, threatening to choke me if I had failed. The other rested at my groin.

"Again." He commanded. I obeyed. He kept ordering until I felt dizzy, I couldn't piece my thoughts together. "Jack, My son. You're such a good boy for me..Such a good soldier. A son. A toy." One hand on my thigh, the other fidgetting with my belt till he popped it off. The hand traveling down my pants. I whinned. "Father please, I don't-" I tried to plea, to protest. His rough lips slammed against mine. This was not the first time and would not be the last. But this time I couldn't squirm nor fight. My body felt to relaxed, to warm. His hand grabbed my hardening member, I moaned on his mouth.

Each touch was estatic but it all felt like a blur. I couldn't decipher of each action had just happened or happened a few minutes ago. Words emptily rang in my head. I snapped out of whatever trance I was in when I felt his spit-lubed fingers against my hole. "Waitwait..It'llhurt-!" I panted, looking up at him. "Good. A little pain never killed you."

His rough fingers pushed into me, a yelled. Pain. Danger. I can't fight, I can barely move. Why can I not think? Slow movements with the fingers, digging deeper into me until- I jolt with pleasure, squirming and letting out soft noises.

Ok im done yapping about source mems

[nyarmand]

thots on mgr and raiden’s character development?

yes yes yes okay i have a lot of those. i DO NOT GET the hate some people have for revengeance. i mean i have some criticisms and ways i think it could have been improved but when it comes to the claim that it somehow ruined or regressed raiden's character i simply disagree.

i'll start with the smaller stuff. people get mad at him for like... going against what he said at the end of mgs4 but he literally didn't. he works with maverick because it was the best thing he could find that would let him support his family. (which, oh boy, i could go so much into that but i won't here because this post is going to be LONG as it is.) he makes it obvious how much he looks forward to being able to visit them, and he'd be there if it were possible, but it isn't. he's not running away or leaving them alone.

also, i love how the codec conversations and even the main storyline give some more insight into who he is outside of everything life has forced him to become. he loves movies! (we kind of knew that from mgs2, but that was more implied. here we get outright confirmation. score!) he doesn't understand sports! (neither do i, raiden. neither do i.) we know he can understand at least some french, but is not so good with russian. he thinks capitalism is exploitative (it's not outright said, but the way he talks about the economy, greed, etc...), he hates politicians, and he doesn't respect the police. it's the little things, i'm telling you. and the big ones. this game increased my love for him so much.

also also HIS INTERACTIONS WITH SUNNY are unbelievably important. i cry watching the scene at solis. every single time. maybe someday i won't but we just don't know. the point is they are so sweet and it's exactly what i needed. i love how he talks about her to other people too, he's so proud of her, AUGH.

okay. okay. now for what i'm pretty sure you were asking about: the return of 'the ripper'.

the thing about raiden is that we don't really see him get seriously angry before revengeance--he has a few moments in mgs2, but they're fairly toned down. i think he spends so much effort repressing his own anger out of fear of himself, but revengeance pushes him right over the edge. and it's not like he turns into some remorseless, trigger-happy, sadomasochistic lunatic like i see a lot of people painting him as. he loses his inhibitions and doesn't feel any need to hold back in a fight, but he's not just going and killing whoever. it's all very targeted, very focused, and even then, even though he's literally only killed people who were 1. trying to kill him and 2. complicit or actively aiding in the mutilation and torture of innocent children, he's still utterly horrified with himself. (god, i think about the 'no!' right before that one guy stabs him and the 'i don't want this for anyone else' so much. he hates himself so so much for something that wasn't even his fault. solidus snake die challenge... oh wait, he did!) his codec with boris later on is so painful because you can hear as he comes down from that high, as the guilt starts setting in... god. augh. this game is fun to play but it makes me so sad.

but even though he hates it, even though he hates himself for doing it, he keeps going, because someone has to stop desperado before they can do to more kids what solidus and the patriots did to him. and it hurts like hell because he's crushing his own already extremely limited self-esteem into the dirt and perceiving himself as nothing but a heartless killer but if that's what he has to be in order to save those kids, that's what he will be, because as far as he's concerned his ability to live with himself isn't more important than making sure no one else has to go through all the shit that left him this way.

i think he reached a certain point of acceptance by the end of the game, but i don't think he went off to like... wander the earth and fight or anything. that's not him. i just think he reached a point where he could realize that it's not having those thoughts or abilities that makes someone a monster, it's how they choose to act on them. that's what makes the difference between him and desperado. desperado is indiscriminate, they don't care who they're hurting, but raiden does. he fights to defend himself and he fights to save people, that's it. his sword IS a tool of justice and he DOES use it to defend the weak and fuck it, if he wants to use it in anger that's fine too as long as he doesn't lose sight of his ultimate goals. which he doesn't! because he is a good person! people who look at this game and go omg what a twisted fucking cycle path have their brains turned off i'm telling you. there's nothing wrong with being angry at someone who's committing atrocities and raiden can do what he wants. anyway i'm proud of him for coming to terms with the things his upbringing did to his mind and figuring out a way to channel them for the greater good. he COULD have used them in service of the cycle of senseless violence but he works against it instead.

actually, his storyline really reads as a reflection of the cycle of abuse. (...w. would monsoon call it a meme? he would, wouldn't he.) raiden is afraid of himself because of the aftereffects of what people have done to him and he doesn't want to do that to anyone else. a lot of the time that takes the form of self-suppression but that's really unhealthy so instead i think it's good for him to realize that he isn't an inherently bad person just because of the things he's been through and he's not just doomed to repeat it over and over again. his past doesn't define him, his actions do. it's a hard thing to learn under circumstances like that but i think he's got a good head start, don't you? :D

[dxtsu-blog]

Continued ( x )

He looked back at the other getting brought back into focus. He wasn’t never really was good at masking himself when it came to resurfacing thoughts. Though he thought he had an easier time with coping it with it compared to back then. A gradual progress was better than a regression. A short sigh left him as he folded his arms.

“...Just been thinking about my kid.” A small pause. As he tried to frame the doubts in way that it would make sense. “Just want to make sure that I don’t screw up with him.” Which in retrospect, shouldn’t be too tasking compared to daddy dearest. But it didn’t push the thought of him being worried of failing down the line.