#Raven is just super confused and doesnt know how to deal with emotions and feelings

[bridgyrose]

For ace prompts: After having Yang Raven realizes she's a sex-repulsed Ace... and she doesn't know how to reconcile that with her long-term relationship with Tai and the obviously sex-related result (Yang), and that's her REAL reason for running off.

(This one is just a tad bit late...)

Raven panted as she leaned against a wooden wall of the shack in the woods, her arms shook as she tried to catch her breath. She loved Tai, she knew that without a shadow of a doubt. And she knew she loved Summer. But this? This was just a little too far even for her. Though, it wasnt like she had regretted the child she bore, infact, it was the opposite. She loved Yang just as much as she loved Tai, but after carrying her for nine months and finally having her, it was finally something she couldnt take anymore. 

“Raven!” Summer called out. “Raven! Where are you?!” 

Raven felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up as she made her way deeper into the dark shack to keep hidden in the shadows. Her fingers gripped the doorframe tightly as she peeked around the corner only to find Summer standing there. “I’m… I’m not going back.” 

“Taiyang has been looking everywhere for you-” 

“I’m not the person he fell in love with!” Raven’s voice cracked as she yelled at Summer, her body practically locking up at her anger. “I… I wasnt…. I’m not… He wants someone who can love him the way he wants to be loved, to allow him to show them that he loves them, but I… I cant… not again. And I know he’ll want to do it again.” 

Summer sighed and put a gentle hand on Raven’s. “Rae, take a deep breath and try to calm yourself a bit, let your words try to come through.” 

Raven nodded and took a couple breaths to calm herself, her heart still pounding as fear ran through her mind. “I… I dont… I mean, I love Tai, I just… I dont want another kid… I never wanted to have sex, I just… I dont know, I thought that it was something I had to do with him and now I realize that it just wasnt something I liked or wanted and everytime I look at Yang all I can think is… you know…” 

“That you did something you werent completely into?” 

Raven nodded and sighed. “I want to be there for them, I really do, but I cant… be who Taiyang wants me to be.” 

“Then dont.” 

Raven looked away and sighed. “Its not that easy, Summer.” 

“Of course it is. All you have to do is get yourself back over there-” 

“And I cant just go back after this!” Raven yelled, her eyes starting to burn as the wind around her picked up. “If I go back, all I’ll have are the reminders that Tai and I slept together, that I gave in to him asking me over and over because I thought I had to! I didnt want any of this!” 

Summer sighed and turned her back to Raven. “Then… where are you going to go?” 

“I dont know… I really dont.” Raven gently grabbed the sword at her side and took a breath as her grip tightened around the handle. “I… need to go. Figure myself out, get away from all of… this.” She motioned with her free hand and slowly unsheathed her sword. “I’ll be back. Maybe. After… after I figure out what I really want.” 

“Will you at least visit Yang?” 

The only answer Raven gave was a slice in the air and the ominous howling of the portal that opened in front of her. She took a step closer and sighed. “Keep them safe for me, Sum.” 

Summer shook her head as the portal closed and the wind started to die down. She looked up to the sky and let out a heavy sigh. “Stay safe yourself, Rae. You cant keep running away like this.” 

[kewltie]

the idea that bakugou katsuki, a war hero and the empire's hound, is a man of great stature and even fiercer reputation of a volatile powder keg yet quite frankly so freaked out by izuku, HIS OWN HUSBAND, attempt of playing footsie that he broke a table IS SO HILARIOUS TO ME!! katsuki spend so long giving himself to his country and ppl and that HE literally had NO TIME for romance or like consider any romantic entanglement let alone think of the husband he left behind while he chase after new adventures; so yea he's a goddamn virgin lmao.

even when he's back home now his job as the empire's hound (which basically taking on tasks too dark and secretive that nobody can touch) means he running around the slums of the city to catch baddies so he's constantly hanging around other lowlifes SO HE GOT A BAD REPUTATION. a scoundrel and rake is what the rumors say about him and they all sigh pitifully when they spot izuku bc poor izuku, to have such a terrible no good husband hang around brothel houses :((( WHICH IS FUCKING FUNNY bc katsuki is devout in his marriage vows and also hello VIRGIN!! not that anyone know that, NOT EVEN IZUKU bc believe in katsuki's honor in their marriage but HE HEARD THE RUMORS and katsuki does keep v beautiful friends around (they're his informants lol) so izuku thought katsuki used to play around but now that's married he doesnt and wont.

so izuku GOT INTO HIS HEAD that katsuki is ~experience~ and prob had like a hundred lovers in the past while izuku is virginal and chaste and BORING so he tries v v hard to learn how to a good lover which means taking advice from racy romance books from his book club lmao. look, izuku is a quirk learner and HE'S always open to new experience and he's going to be a good husband and lover ok!!!!! so he's taking lesson to try to seduce katsuki and get his interest but he's so new at this he's afraid katsuki will laugh a him and find him lacking... so when he heard katsuki was hanging around one of the most famous oiran, a super high class prostitute, izuku IS SO JEALOUS bc how can izuku compare to such a beautiful and talented being??? so he thought he ramps up his game and tried for a footsie W KATSUKI BUT ????!!!

katsuki's reaction isn't to laugh and/or tease him about it but BROKE A DAMN TABLE as he reeled back and looked at him in shock and horror and izuku IS SOOO CONFUSED like???? did he do something ??? is that not how you play footsie??? OMG did he embarrassed himself?!! izuku thought he didn't come on strong enough, that his game was just too weak that it drove katsuki away which make izuku even more determine to be better next time! esp when he had the idea to meet up with the oiran and take a personal lesson on seducing his hubby lol. not knowing AT ALL that katsuki was internally SCREAMING ABOUT IT bc izuku, his super traditional and proper husband, just fucking ran his foot up katsuki's THIGH and he's did it all coolly like HE'S NOT FEELING KATSUKI UP UNDER THE TABLE AND AS;DJFAS;DJF. look, they're both dumb virgins who think the other is like some experience lover when in truth neither of them HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE AT ALL and they really aren't equipped to deal with any attempt of seduction/flirtation properly even though THEY'RE MARRIED TO EACH OTHER!!!!

i love the idea of clothes and accessories acting as symbolism and a state of mind. it's a constant theme in a lot of my fics - how and what you dress can set the tone of the entire space you occupied, sending a wordless message out into the world.

izuku normally dressed in traditional kimono all his life but when he left the countryside and moved into the city to be with katsuki where western influence have taken roots and many new western trends are popular right now, izuku starts to adapt and fashion is one of them. the shift from izuku's kimono to a western dress and pantsuits parallels his shift in perspective from the tradition views he hold and to new ideas brought by his new environment. though it doesn't mean everything old and tradition are bad while new things are all good!! izuku loves his kimonos and there's a history that come with them as they are handmade custom and pass down within his family so there's a lot of meanings and legacy to these old kimonos; news thing may offer a better insight but there's still a lot of value in tradition. like how in the first scene izuku decide to change his whole wardrobe to meet katsuki for lunch and how formal and austere he dressed, changing his demeanor as though he's putting on an armor. it's the way they make him feel stronger and confident that he may not feel otherwise. in that moment he fell back into his kimono, something he had known and grown up with all his life so it's the most comfortable for him and hold him up even when his doubts and insecurity weigh him down. this is the armor he chosen to wear when he's about to go to battle. the type and color of the kimono he wore, the way his hair is pinned and a certain hair accessory, and the mortif sewn into the kimono are all signs of his mood and how each is like a plate of armor on top of each other, layer and by layer building up his confident.

izuku lacks confident that much is clear esp when he'd pretty up uproot his whole life to move to the city to be with katsuki and uphold his place as katsuki's husband. he knows he's lacking in this strange new environment so his only defense mechanism is to fall back on old ways. izuku wants to be firm when he see katsuki and by dressing in that austere and cold formality of the kimono with dark colors and phoenix motif his message is that he wont be subdued by w/e katsuki say; and he says it w/o ever having to say a single word :P

izuku is really obsessed w being a good spouse, omega, and fulfilling his duty bc that's all he has ever been taught and that's how he measure his own worth. if he's not being upholding the honor and prestige of the background household,,, what use is he then? he's so desperate to be that 'good spouse' who doesn't complain, who doesnt question, and who doesn't fail at any task given to him that he come off as this unfeeling and obedience doll who only know how to stay faithful at his husband's feet which isn't izuku at all. we know he's endlessly curious, ravenous for knowledge and new ideas, reckless to a fault, and so v v v kind that it can hurt him but those aren't necessary quality for a spouse of a future duke so he squashed it and put up pretense of a more poise, charming, and compose person. which few even see through his mask BUT ofc katsuki eventually does and he hates when izuku puts up a front and hide his true feelings from him and that's where their first argument come from. IZUKU BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AT HIM and katsuki telling to GET MAD, YELL AT HIM, ETC he rather izuku be real with him then having to face this smiling doll who only know how to carefully chose his words and say things he doesnt really mean when he want izuku to poke and prod and get angry and emotional at him bc he knows underneath that smile is a cat w claws lol. at the end of it izuku only wants to be included in katsuki's world bc his job is v v v important to him and to be on the outside and hearing rumors and stories of what katsuki is doing and not actually a part of it hurts izuku deeply bc they're married and in this together!! katsuki prefers to keep izuku from the ugly side of his job bc well it's dangerous and there's a unsightly things he doesnt want izuku to see and/or exp but izuku, wants to bear katsuki's burden too so he doesn't have to go at this alone!! marriage is partnership after all.

it's an interesting dynamic of where izuku keeps pushing more from katsuki and katsuki being a closed of jerk about it trying to keep a distance bc he has no time to entertain a relationship bc OF HIS V IMPORTANT JOB even tho they're already marry but izuku is persistence lol. they're going to keep this whole push and pull dynamic till one of them give which is going to be long ass time bc they're both stubborn lol but izuku didn't literally MOVED HIS ENTIRE life to be w katsuki to settle just for marriage w him, he's going to win katsuki's heart also!