sometiktoksarevalid

[thepromiscuousfinger]

Person's blog bio: Don't expect me to care about anyone's feelings or be nice.

Same person on a meme/shitpost: Why would you laugh over someone else's misfortune?

Me:

[puppyluver256]

Story Time with Jess: How did you even get this number?!

(I originally posted this to Reddit’s Let’s Not Meet, but due to various reasons I figured it was better meant for me to just throw onto my personal tumbly. Plus, I need a reason to use my story time tag again. :P)

This whole incident started with a phone call at 8 am this past Sunday morning, so I was understandably already grumpy about being forcibly woken up two hours before my alarm. I look at my phone and find it's a number in my area code, but other than that I don't recognize it. As I'm trying to find more stable employment, I don't exactly have the luxury of ignoring calls I don't recognize, as any of them could be a potential employer wanting to schedule an interview. I answered the phone and greeted the person on the other end with "Can I help you?", a greeting I have developed to weed out callbots who are programmed to start into their nonsense at "hello". On the slightly brighter side to this story, the person on the other end was indeed a human being, as a deep manly voice asks "who is this?" I'm confused, as the only way people should be getting my number is if they already know me (so they would say something like "hey Jess!") or it's attached to my name via a job application or something (so they would respond with "is this Jess? I'm with Potential Job..."). So I'm clearly suspicious. I ask "well, who is THIS?" I can't remember the conversation that followed in detail, as I was still very groggy from having been rudely woken two hours early, but we were both trying to figure out who the other was until he tells me "This is Spoonie."

Instantly I hang up and block his number. Now you're probably thinking, this is an overreaction of the highest caliber! I'll admit, it probably was. But the clear alias was very similar to a username regularly used by an internet stalker of mine from years past. I thought I had blocked the guy on all fronts, and now someone with a suspiciously familiar alias just calls me out of the blue?! I was somehow able to go back to sleep with both the paranoia and the sun in my face, and woke up at my alarm later. Thankfully rationale kicked in as I remembered that if it WAS my internet stalker then he would know my name and use it, not to mention that it was highly unlikely he would be in my area code AND I had once watched a YouTube video with his voiceover, which was not quite as deep as phone call guy (and the internet stalker sounded like he had either well gone through puberty or had just popped off the puberty line).

About an hour after waking up the second time, I was getting ready to head out to town with family. As I was in the bathroom, I got another call. I answered it, and a different man's voice asked "who is this?" I'm starting to get a little paranoid again (doesn't help that I'm on the toilet and already feeling a little bit vulnerable) and ask "well who is THIS?" He says "This is Jacob." I say "well, I don't know any Jacobs, so you clearly have the wrong number." Then he drops the bombshell on me. He says "no, I've definitely got the right number, I copied it perfectly off the bathroom wall in the alley--"

Once again, I hang up and block the number. Looking back now, I wish I had yelled something at him, something along the lines of "THIS NUMBER DOESN'T BELONG ON NO GOD DAMN BATHROOM WALL YOU SICK CREEP!", but we always come up with the best comebacks in hindsight. Again, you might see this as me overreacting, and you may be right, but it still freaks me out. I'm not what people might consider conventionally attractive no matter how highly I think of myself, so I have no idea how two random dudes got my phone number aside from the one lead of "the bathroom wall in the alley" if I'm even remembering the part that sounded like "alley" correctly. Even then, how in the world would my phone number end up on a bathroom wall? Is this like an 8675309 situation? Am I the new Jenny? Are horny dudes gonna start calling me for "a good time" that I'm definitely not willing to give?

Something to think about. Thankfully the only unsolicited call I’ve received since Sunday morning was a robot trying to give me information about home security when I don’t even own a home.