#Rey is last because facial hair scares me <3

[raindropsonwhiskers]

Tzimisce time

[darth-dre]

This is Twice Now

Warnings: Awkward Kylo ahead, some angst and the fluff. The fluff is real. Angsty fluff, idk if that’s a thing. Mentions of nudity. 

Word Count: 2446

A/N: This was a request by anon: I have a Kylo X Reader prompt! Okay but is kinda loosly based on how I took the end of the Last Jedi; as both Rey and his mother abandoned him in the force, but what if in that exact moment someone else connect with him. Someone who is trapped, who has no idea what is happening or that they are force sensitive, or even what the force is and Kylo starts going on a mad hunt to find her. If that's okay? You don't have to write this... It is a rather foolish idea truly. Though I love your writing <3

And like I said nonnie, no it was an awesome idea! I named this fic based off of the song by Lydia. Go listen to it!

Also, picture the character, you, dressed like Jyn Erso. :)

Kylo didn’t move at all. How could he? He stayed squatted down in the small room, vaguely aware of the voices outside of the chamber.

He felt… numb. It was in that moment that he realized what a horrible decision he made. He could see Rey through the force bond, and the look of disappointment was sprawled across her face as she closed the door in front of her, also closing herself off from him.

He looked down at Han Solo’s dice in his hand, and felt a pang of sorrow and anger as they disappeared from his grasp, feeling the crushing weight of his loneliness upon his shoulders. He couldn’t feel Rey anymore, he couldn’t feel his mother. They were both gone. They gave up on him.

His anger rose as he stared at his empty hands.

Kylo felt something then, something within the force; he automatically looked up, hoping it would be Rey. But it wasn’t.

His eyebrows knitted in confusion for a moment as he gazed upon the woman in front of him. She was… beautiful, not like Rey, different. She wore a dark grey jacket over a black fitted shirt, holsters with two blasters on each side with dark grey pants. Her Y/H/C was let loose over her shoulders.

She quickly took out her blaster and held it steady in front of her; her Y/E/C eyes burning with confusion. Kylo stood, a look of confusion on his face as well, “Why are you here?”

“I should be asking you that, intruder,” she spoke. Her eyes widened at the echo around her, “How did you get in here?”

Kylo was amused now, and he stood on his feet, his cloak trailing behind him, “You have no idea what this is, do you?”

She shook her head, frustrated, “This is very fricking weird, I don’t like it, and why is everything so fucking echoey?!”

Kylo furrowed his brows. This was a force bond, with another person.

It can’t be. I only had that with Rey, there’s no way I could be—

And yet, he was experiencing it with someone else. Another woman.

He stepped forward, and she lifted her blaster, her finger ready to squeeze the trigger, “Stay back, I’ll shoot you!”

“You can try,” he replied, smugly.

She pulled the trigger on the blaster. Kylo observed her eyes widen with shock as she brought the blaster closer to her to examine it.

“You can’t shoot me here,” Kylo informed.

She dropped her arm to her side, her voice quivering as she whispered, “What is this? Are you even real?”

Kylo tilted his head, does this woman even know anything about the Force?

The woman dropped her blaster on the ground, he couldn’t see her surroundings, obviously, but he could see small specks of sand in her beautiful Y/H/C hair. Her hands went to her head as she scrounged her hair, “I’ve gone mad, I’ve lost my mind.”

Kylo suppressed a smile, “You haven’t lost your mind; I am real.”

She skeptically removed her hands from her hair and took a tiny step forward, “Then how did you appear out of nowhere?”

Kylo tried not to roll his eyes, his impatience seeping through, “This is a Force Bond.”

She stood there, her eyes blank, and Kylo continued, “The Force connected us, although I don’t see why, as you obviously know nothing about the Force.”

“Although that may be true, that doesn’t mean you need to be a complete ass about it,” she spat. She shook her head and her eyes met his intense stare, “Look, all I know is that I felt something; and then seconds later, you showed up.”

“What did you feel?”

Her eyes narrowed at his question, “Anger, sadness, and loneliness. A sense of loss.”

Kylo’s breath hitched, and he felt a strong urge in his chest to reach out to her. She felt him. He admired her, trying not to make it obvious, and he sensed that although she didn’t have the Force; she was Force sensitive. But how? How could she have sensed him?

“Where are you?”

She laughed, “Oh no, I’m not telling you that. I don’t even know who you are and I’m still trying to grasp this whole force crap. I don’t even know if I believe it.”

Who am I? Ben? Kylo Ren?

He had no idea how he would even introduce himself to this woman, “You can’t even tell me your name; you don’t even know who you are.”

His annoyance turned into fascination, “What makes you say that?”

Her head tilted, “A feeling.”

“You can call me Kylo,” he said, and sensing her skepticism, he added, “It’s one of my names.”

“Fair enough, you can call me Y/N,” she paused, “And that’s my real name, Kylo.”

She said his name as if she didn’t believe that’s who he was. Which was understandable, he didn’t even know who he was.

“Are you going to tell me where you are now?”

Y/N chuckled, and she leaned forward, “No.”

“Kylo Ren,” General Hux’s voice sounded from outside the chamber. And just like that, she was gone.

He stared in the direction she was in, mesmerized and fascinated. He looked down at his gloved hand, observing the small specks of sand that lingered on his palm.

Kylo stood near the window of his chambers; staring at the ships below. His mind was plagued with thoughts of her, Y/N.

It was almost as if his infatuation with Rey had never even existed, and she was a part of a previous life. His curiosity was winning him over and he closed his eyes, hoping to get into contact with her, with Y/N.

He reached out for her; hoping that he could make it work. He hadn’t tried it before, but there was always a first time for everything. And he hoped that he was strong enough to do it. He closed his eyes, concentrating on her, zoning in on how she felt, how she looked, her name.

His eyes flew open when he felt the Force, and he felt her there.

“Oh god, is this really happening again?”

Kylo smirked to himself, before turning to face her, “Bad time?”

He suddenly felt terrible as he saw her hair drenched, and she struggled to cover up her bare chest. He couldn’t see her bottom half, so he assumed she was in a lake somewhere, “Would you mind turning around?”

“Of course,” he said, feeling his face warm up. He rubbed his face, trying to wipe the embarrassment from his face. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t seen a female naked before, but this, this was different.

“This Force crap has terrible timing,” she said, “You can turn now.”

Kylo slowly turned to face her as she pulled down her top. He admired her skin, still glistening with drops of water rolling down, beneath her top. He shook his head and agreed with her, “It does.”

“Why does it feel like you’re lying?”

Crap.

He simply glared at her, and she smirked, “Ok, we’ll agree that this Force thingy is responsible.”

It was silent for a moment, when her facial expression changed from amusement to concern, “I feel it again; that loneliness.”

Kylo gulped, trying to make the gesture non-noticeable. Y/N took a few steps forward until she was at arm’s length from him. He stood still, not knowing what to do and breathing heavily as her arm slowly reached out to him.

It felt like it was taking forever, like time was slowing as he anxiously awaited her touch. A primal need overcame him; and he yearned for it, for her touch. And then, it felt like sparks igniting and lighting a fire deep within him.

Her fingers lightly traced the scar on his face, his eyes closed at her caress, and their breathing became heavy with emotion. She gasped and his eyes opened as tears fell down her face.

He knew what she was seeing; she wasn’t just seeing a future, she was seeing the past. She was watching as a young Ben Solo was being influenced by Snoke. She felt what he felt when his mother sent him away, the fear that overcame him when he heard Snoke’s voice and again, when Luke towered over him with the lightsaber.

Her tears came out rapidly now, her breathing became heavier as she saw his lightsaber plunge through Han Solo, and the sense of guilt that came after. Rey.

Y/N closed her eyes and slowly walked closer to him. Kylo froze, trying to process what happened and why it happened. She pulled him into her arms and held him; her grip tightening around him. Kylo wrapped his arms around her, his mind not believing that this was happening… but it is.

Kylo rested his chin on top of her head, “Please, tell me where you are.”

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes puffy and red from crying, as she was about to speak, however, the bond faded and just as easily as he felt her there in his arms, she was gone, and he was left alone. He looked down at his hand. Sand.

He tried to reach out for her, and he felt a vague pull. He searched Jakku, the irony, but, he didn’t feel her there. Kylo hoped he was wrong, but he punched in the coordinates into his ship’s navigation system. It would be awhile before he got there, and if he was right, he tried to figure out what he would say to her.

Would she even come with me?

He was starting to doubt himself; the only time he had wanted something this bad was… it didn’t matter anymore. He wanted Y/N, and he wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t let her slip through his fingers. He would try harder this time.

But, he did fear that his past scared her away. He kept those parts of himself hidden, locked away so he wouldn’t have to think about them; but they lingered there, tearing him apart.

Y/N felt it, he knew she did because he felt the longing in her as well; the longing for company, for something greater than what she was. He saw a life of crime, a life that she had no choice but to live because she had to find a way to survive. She wanted to live, not survive.

Could I give her that?

Kylo longed for not just touch and affection, but for her affection. He wanted to feel her.

Kylo groaned upon entering the planet’s atmosphere; Tatooine. His thoughts immediately went to Luke, and the irony of the fact that he could feel her on this planet.

I think I would’ve been able to deal with Jakku.

He flew his ship over the planet’s surface, feeling the pull of the force leading him to her. It felt stronger, and stronger as he reached Mos Eisley. He scrunched his eyebrows together and decided to land his ship just outside the city.

Kylo could sense her; she was close. He quickly exited his ship, pulling his hood down over his face, not that it would help, everyone here probably knew who he was. Still, he kept his lightsaber handy, in case things went wrong.

He could feel the eyes of the people on him as he walked along the dirty streets; he paid them no mind. They didn’t matter to him.

His heart started beating faster as he felt the pull get stronger and stronger with every step he took. He rounded a corner into a lonely alleyway. He paused when he saw Y/N standing there, she slowly reached for her blaster and he quickly pulled his hood down, allowing her to look upon him.

Y/N’s eyes went wide, “How—why—”

She stammered, trying to make sense of the idea. Kylo was lost for words too, seeing her in person, he was breathless. She was even more stunning in person than he could fathom.

Y/N placed her blaster back in it’s holster, “Are you real?”

“Do you hear an echo?”

She chuckled, rubbing her face, “So, this isn’t one of those force thingies?”

Kylo smirked, “No, this is real.”

“I—I knew it. I felt a longing, and I felt… something; like something was coming and calling out to me,” she spoke, softly, “It was you.”

He slowly walked towards her, “It was.”

Kylo was a few feet away from Y/N, he felt his legs start to tremble; Y/N’s hand reached out to him, “Did you come for me?”

He hesitated for a moment, feeling that maybe he shouldn’t have come here; that he didn’t deserve this, but his heart was beating so fast that he couldn’t help himself. He wanted her.

“If you’ll have me.”

She moved closer to him, closing the small distance between them, “Did you really do all those things?”

Shamefully, Kylo looked down, his eyes beginning to water. He couldn’t lie to her, she would know if he did, and he didn’t want to lie to her. He nodded his head, feeling his guilt consume him.

He was mildly shocked when she touched his face, “You feel so horrible; you have this constant conflict within yourself. You’re worried too much about absolutes when you don’t realize that everyone makes mistakes.”

“I’ve made unforgivable ones.”

“By your standards?”

Kylo’s eyes finally met Y/N’s, they held no judgement and no criticism, just compassion, “When I touched you, I saw what you said to that woman, ‘let it all die’… are you ready to let the past die, Ben Solo?”

He lost his father. His mother. Rey. They all believed he could come back, and no matter their efforts, he didn’t. But, he felt it in himself, the pull to the light. A small part of him wanted to resist, but, his heart didn’t want to resist any longer, not when Y/N was here, right in front of him, offering herself to him.

“I’m ready,” he answered, feeling the weight slowly coming off.

Y/N licked her lips, the action was subtle and he felt his lips begin to quiver. She pulled him in and she gently kissed him, trying to feel her way around him, making sure he was comfortable. He leaned down and kissed her back, softly.

She giggled, and Ben smiled at the sound of her laugh, “Are we going to stay here all day or are you taking me with you?”

He kissed her one more time, and took her hand, leading her out of this town, out of this planet; letting their pasts die behind them.

I hope you liked it! I really did enjoy writing this one. <3<3

Also, requests are still open; so if you have anything you want written, shoot them over. :)

[darth-dre]

This is Twice Now [Pt. 2]

Warnings: KyloAngst lol. Fluff. Mentions of killing and stuff.

Word Count: 2097

A/N: As requested, I made a second part to This is Twice Now. <3 Hope you all enjoy it!

Reader

Y/N shifted in her seat, feeling slightly uncomfortable. You’ve been in worse situations, with far worse people, she thought to herself.

She looked over at Kylo… err Ben, she hadn’t even bothered to ask him which name he preferred, “You can call me whichever one you feel suits me.”

Her eyes widened, “You can read my mind?”

Kylo chuckled, “Bits and pieces; I can do it when I use the force, but this bond we share… it makes it easier. Your thoughts are loud.”

“Sorry,” she said, feeling a bit guilty.

“Don’t be, your thoughts are interesting.”

Y/N could feel her face get hot, Oh, god, when was the last time I blushed?

“When was the last time you blushed?”

“Uh…”

He looked over at her, a smile on his face, “I was joking, you don’t have to answer that.”

“Goodness, I thought I was going to have to go back a long time,” she chuckled. She sat awkwardly for a moment, “So, where are we going?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“You’re leaving it up to me?”

Her shock was clear in her voice, and Kylo nodded, “Yes, anywhere you want to go.”

She smiled, her face lighting up, “Naboo.”

He nodded and she watched as he plotted a course for the planet that she had only ever heard of. Her excitement was through the roof and she couldn’t contain herself.

“You’ve never left Tatooine?”

“No,” she answered, “I was an in a mercenary ring and you would think they’d send me everywhere; but they kept me on planet. Saying that I would get jobs off world once I—”

She stopped herself. Not wanting to talk about it. Kylo nodded, if he could hear her thoughts, he didn’t say anything. He stayed silent, and she slowly scooted towards him, leaning her head on his shoulder. She could feel Kylo tense, and she sensed that it was something new for him, “I can get off, if this makes you uncomfortable.”

“No,” he whispered, leaning his head against hers, “This is fine.”

She stayed like that for a while, dozing off on his comfortable arms; not a single care in the world.

Kylo

Y/N observed the paintings on the wall; a woman with beautiful garments and fine jewelry smiled back at her, “Who is that?”

Kylo came up beside her, handing her a glass of juice, “That’s Padme; my grandmother.”

She nodded, “I assume this was her house.”

“Not necessarily, she stayed here for a while; when she left, no one bothered to come in.”

Y/N smirked, “Well, it’s really beautiful. This whole planet is beautiful; it’s nothing like Tatooine.”

“I agree,” he said, trying not to stare at her. But it was hard not to; after that kiss they shared, he longed for another one.

She took his hand and led him towards the terrace; she stared out across the lake, the sun set coloring the sky a variety of shades, from a light pink to a deep purple.

For the life of him, he could not keep his eyes off of her. He could not stop staring at her, the way she looked in contrast with the sky was… dazzling. She turned to look at him, furrowing her brows, “Are you alright?”

“Just… admiring the view,” he said.

He saw her skin redden, and he smirked to himself, “What are you going to do now?”

Kylo tilted his head, “You mean about the First Order.”

“You’re Supreme Leader now, but are you going to go back and… continue what you were doing?”

He sighed. The conflict in him was rising, and he wanted so badly to stay, but, he had his duties to attend to. The resistance still needed to be crushed. He felt her in his mind then, and just as he was having those thoughts, she gently said, “Let the past die, Kylo.”

His dark eyes met hers; he couldn’t help the rage inside of him, and he tried not to snap at her, but the question came out a little ruder than he intended it to, “If you want me to let the past die, why do you still refer to me as Kylo?”

“Because you were right, Ben is dead. Kylo is not, but that doesn’t mean that Kylo needs to continue down this path.”

“I told you, I’ve done horrible things,” he whispered, his eyes looking away.

“So, have I,” she said, placing a warm hand on his cheek, “But I’m willing to let it all go; when you picked me up, you said you would too, but I sense now that you are still conflicted.”

“I can’t leave the First Order,” he stated.

Y/N scoffed, “Can’t, or won’t?”

He was silent. He fought within himself, wanting to explain everything to her; all those visions of his past that she saw, he wanted to tell her. He tried to form the words on his lips, but nothing was coming out.

Kylo looked at her as she turned to lean on the stone railing, she gulped; and Kylo could feel the anxiousness in her, “I wasn’t abandoned as you were; at a young age I sold myself off to the mercenary band I was in to erase the debt that my parents accumulated.”

His eyes lingered on her; he could feel what she was going to say and how it made her feel. He didn’t want her to feel that way. Not now, not ever, “You don’t have to—”

“Yes, I do,” she said, taking a deep breath, “They didn’t do anything to me; they just had me clean up after them, help prepare their dinner, clean their clothes, shit like that. When I turned 10, they asked me if I wanted to be part of their group. I thought, yeah, anything besides cleaning dishes. So, they trained me,” she unsheathed a knife, twirling it quickly in between her fingers, “My specialty was knives.”

Kylo stared at her, fascinated, but she put the knife back in its sheath, “My initiation was a contract that this rich guy put out; I was to kill a small gang of people that stole money from him, the man that trained me came along, to make sure I left no survivors.

We tracked them to this remote are in Tatooine; miles away from any kind of civilization, I snuck in and killed all their guards. When I got to the main room, I found a group of people gathered around a table, counting money… and I see the faces of the two-people sitting beside each other, watching me in horror, and amusement.

They asked me if I was really going to kill them, my own parents. I hesitated, and my trainer told me to do it, or he wouldn’t just kill them, but he would kill me for failing. I was scared, I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was that I missed my parents, and I wanted nothing more than to be with them again. I was lowering my knives, when they started shooting. And I… I lost it. I went on a rampage; slicing everything and everyone in my way.”

Tears were coming out of Y/N’s eyes now, “I killed them slowly, I made them suffer. My trainer and the group were all praising me… and it didn’t matter. I killed my own parents, and I that is something I’ve carried with me for years. They wouldn’t let me off planet because they thought that it made me unstable. They didn’t trust me on my own.”

She looked over at Kylo, his eyes were low and hooded, and Y/N continued, tears streaming down her face, “I’ve done a lot of things that I regret, Kylo, just like you. That doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy of another chance.”

“But I’m not,” he whispered, his bottom lip slightly quivering, “I’ve killed so many people, I’ve killed Jedi students and my own father.”

Y/N sighed, “And yet, you felt guilt after. You felt remorse; someone that’s truly evil doesn’t feel these things.”

I don’t deserve this.

“I’ve done bad things, just as you have Kylo; if you don’t deserve this, then neither do I.”

He tried to keep his eyes and breathing steady; of course, she knew what he was thinking.

“You do,” he softly spoke.

“And so do you, let it go, Kylo. Let it all go; and just be with me.”

Kylo’s held his breath, he wanted to. He really wanted to.

“Please,” she whispered, the desperation and sorrow clear in her voice. Her future, it all depended on how he answered.

He thought about that moment on the ship with Rey, and how he had whispered that same word to her, in that same manner, wanting her so badly to say yes. And how his heart broke at her words and that she chose everything else over what he had to offer. But what did he offer?

It wasn’t like what Y/N was offering, she was handing him her heart.

And he felt that Y/N was feeling that right now; he could feel the desperation in her, and how much she really wanted to be with him and no one else. How she lived her life feeling lonely, despite being surrounded by her ‘family’ of mercenaries; how she longed for someone to love her, unconditionally.

Could I really give her that?

“You can,” she whispered.

He still hesitated, feeling the pull of going back to the Order, and the pull of going with her. He flew to find her; he wanted her. So then why was he hesitating?

He watched Y/N’s facial features change, she looked defeated now, “I see.”

Kylo stared at her, keeping his face stoic. She wiped her eyes and coughed, “I’ll—I’ll just leave.”

He stood there, trying to process what was happening.

I want her. I want her. I want her.

You don’t deserve her. You don’t deserve anything.

Don’t let her leave.

Go to the First Order.

He held back his tears, feeling the pain of heartache that he felt when Rey left, only this time, it was worse, way worse. He felt his insides churning, as if they were on fire. His vision was blurry and his mind was fuzzy.

He could feel her; he felt her pain, her sorrow, he felt her heart breaking… he let her down, and he did the same thing that Rey did to him.

Fuck it.

He turned, and ran after her, “Y/N! Wait!”

She stopped as she opened the door, and he quickly took her in his arms, “Don’t go, please don’t go.”

He fell on his knees, hugging her waist, pressing his face against her abdomen, “I want you; I just don’t know how to—”

His breathing slowed when she ran her fingers through his hair, “I understand.”

She squatted down on her knees and took his face in her hands, “You’re scared, you’re confused and you’re being torn apart. I can feel it.”

He felt the tears streaming down his face, she wiped them away, “You don’t need to be just dark, or just light. You can be both.”

Kylo tilted his head, a sob escaping his lips, “How?”

“By finding the grey area; you’ve lived your life worrying about darkness and light, thinking you have to be one or the other, you can be both. You can do both. And if you need help, I’ll be here, I can help you… but you have to decide if that’s what you want. I can’t make that decision for you.”

Kylo thought about it for a moment… balance. He nodded, “I want to be with you; please, help me.”

Y/N pressed her lips hard against his, kissing him over and over, the relief and desperation screaming out of her emotions, “Then I’ll stay with you.”

He felt it, the pull of their bond intensifying, and he whispered the words to her as she hugged him tightly, “I love—”

“I love—”

They both paused and started at one another. She smiled first and he smiled back, “Do you?”

“I do.”

Kylo wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, squeezing her tightly. He felt her heart, and how happy she was. The relief of being with him, the comfort, and the closeness.

He loved her. She loved him. And no matter what, he would never leave her. He knew too, that she would never leave him, and it brought an odd feeling into him that he hadn’t felt since… ever.

Peace.

There it is! The second half of This is... I’m glad you all enjoyed it! <3