#Rodan was about to break his shit to King Ghidorah

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

Godzilla whenever he saw a Titan steps slightly out of line:

[goldenscalez-art]

Unexpected Savior

Summary: Godzilla was fighting another creature. It was more powerful than him and it almost kills him until someone unexpected saved him.

“What the hell is this thing...?” The lizard huffed after recovering. He was already tired and weakened. Rodan is not around and Mothra... she’s not back yet. He was fighting another beast. It was slightly taller and bigger than him. Through his eyes you could see how much this thing wanted blood. His blood. It probably wanted his place as king just like Ghidorah did. But there’s a problem. This creature is incredibly powerful and it was giving him the beating of his life. Was it made by the human? Who is this guy?

The creature stayed silent. A grin was plastered through its face. He suddenly rushed at the lizard who was still recovering from the pain and struck him on his chin, making the lizard stumble back and fall to the ground.

It has been a long fight for Godzilla and this thing was winning. It was fast and strong, it managed to avoid all of Godzilla’s attacks and Atomic Breaths. Godzilla did manage to land some blows, but it was not enough, this creature recovered from them easily. Now he is tired and weakened. The only thing the lizard wanted now is to get back home and rest, but it’s impossible.

As he layed on the ground with his eyes closed something was putting extreme pressure on his chest. It was hard to breathe. When he opened his eyes his saw that the creature was pinning him on the ground. The thing’s head was close to his. Deep growls were coming out of it.

“Perhaps that was too easy for me”

“W- what?” The lizard replied to whatever this creature was rambling about.

“No matter, my job here is complete. Goodbye, lizard”

Godzilla struggled to get out of the creature’s grasp, but it was impossible for him. Its foot won’t move. Suddenly a purple light started to appear on the creature’s mouth. “Uh oh”. The lizard thought. Was this it? Is this how he will die? By a being that he has never seen before? He couldn’t believe it. This has to be one of those awful dreams he has sometimes, but it was not. This was very real. He closed his eyes, waiting for the pain to come...

It didn’t.

A combination of high and low pitched sounds emerged from the sky. A large gust of wind slammed through his body and then the pressure on his chest was gone. He opened his eyes, looked around and saw a familiar creature...

“G- Ghidorah...?”

They had pushed the creature away from him. They had their wings spread and necks upright. Except for the left one. Its neck was curved, almost as if it was scared. Their tails were rattling. Godzilla didn’t put much attention to this and he took to opportunity to stand up. He then looked at the golden hydra again. He was confused. Why did his biggest rival... save him? He still thought this was some sort of dream.

“Don’t put too much thought on why we are helping.” Said the middle head.

Yep. This is not a dream. B- but... how are they alive?

“Get out of my way. This is about me and the lizard.” The creature said after recovering from Ghidorah’s hit.

It seems the middle head was still hesitant to reply, but... “First, you have to go through us”...

...

“Can I be reminded, why are we doing this?” Ni said through their neurons.

“I can’t give you a straight answer Brother Ni, but there’s something more important than that” Ichi pointed subtly at the monster.

“I’m kinda scared...” San said. He had his neck curved out of fear. He doesn’t like fighting and this creature seems really powerful.

“Don’t be. Everything will go well” Ichi reassured his brother. Then a slight smirk appeared on his face.

The trio turned to their right where The Lizard appeared while looking at the creature.

“Nice seeing you again” The Lizard said while not breaking eye contact from the creature.

“We could say the same” Ichi replied.

The creature then released an ear piercing roar. It made both Titans flinch a bit.

“Enough of the family reunion. Now I have two targets to get rid off. Or maybe four? Hah! Doesn’t matter”

Both Titans stayed silent.

“Ready brothers?” Ichi said.

Ni was snarling. When it comes to a fight, Ni snarling means a yes.

“Y- yes!” He tried to get courage and moved his neck upright, just like his brothers, though he was still kind of scared.

The Lizard then turned his head to the hydra. More specifically Ichi, who are also had turned to look at The Lizard. Both had a tiny smile on their faces and nodded. Ichi never believed this would happen, but they’re teaming up. Probably for the first time and the last time this will ever happen. Then both turned their heads on the creature who had a expression of absolute fury on it.

“Let’s do this” The Lizard said...

...

“Why are they doing this?” Godzilla thought to himself and before he knew it, Ghidorah was already charging towards the beast. Better think about this later, for now it’s a matter of life or death. Godzilla followed along and, standing on all fours, he charged towards the creature running past the crumbled buildings. He was still injured, but having an ally seemed to ease the pain a little bit.

The three heads had latched themselves onto the creature with their teeth, biting hard so it couldn’t move and giving Godzilla the opportunity to land a hit. Sadly, it didn’t work. The creature managed to escape by grabbing their necks and pushing them away. Godzilla almost lands the attack with his claws, but the creature managed to dodge to one side and pushed Godzilla away in the same direction he pushed Ghidorah making them clash and stumble to the ground.

“It’s too powerful” Godzilla growled. He looked to his left and noticed that the hydra was already standing up.

“C’mon, get up. Laying there won’t work” The middle head spat. “They don’t call you the “King of the Monsters” for nothing, right?”

Godzilla looked at them... He hated to admit it, but they were right. After that he stood up, resisting the pain the his wounds gave him. Both Titans looked at the creature. It had a smirk on its face.

“C’mon! You’re making this too easy for me” The creature said.

“Any ideas?” Godzilla spoke.

Ghidorah stayed silent for a bit, but still replied. “Use your blue attack, it’ll probably make him flinch. Then we can charge while its recovering” The middle head said.

The lizard was hesitant, it was his rival that was instructing him after all, but this was not a time to argue. A faint glow appeared from the lizard’s plates in his tail. Then slowly they started charging up to his neck. Then he shot his Atomic Breath at the creature, making it flinch, just as Ghidorah said.

“Charge” The middle head said.

Both Titans them rushed towards the beast. Ghidorah bit on his rival just like last time, but this time it was the neck. The creature’s body was thick so it was shard to tear through flesh, but it still managed to give damage. Godzilla came and he managed to strike the beast with his claws while trying to avoid hitting Ghidorah. He did the same action constantly. The beast managed to escape Ghidorah’s grasp by grabbing their necks again, but then the lizard grabbed the creature and started biting the neck. It seems that it was its weak spot. The creature let out a growl. A purple glow was coming from the creature’s mouth. It shot and it hit Godzilla making him stumble back with a cry of pain.

Ghidorah was following along and, just after Godzilla fell, they bit its neck again, this time, making the creature fall back and pinning it down. It seems they had the upper hand until a tremendous amount of pain came from their back. The creature had stabbed them with its tail. Then, with its feet, it managed to push Ghidorah away and it stood up. Godzilla was standing up now.

...

Black blood was falling from their back. It hurt like hell, but thankfully it would regenerate soon. The downside is that they’re in an incredibly vulnerable state. They layed on their back. The rain was falling to their eyes.

“Wh- what was that, Brother Ichi? It hurts a lot” San said with a worried face.

“It stabbed us. The fucker stabbed us.” Ichi said. They tried to stand up but the pain made them stumble back again.

“Can we fucking get up NOW!?” Ni growled. A face of anger was on his face.

“Not yet... the pain is making us impossible to stand. We’ll have to wait here... It’ll regenerate.” Ichi said to his brothers.

Ni growled before talking “What if the creature comes for us? What? You want us to die?”

“And what about The Lizard? What if he...” San had an extremely worried tone in his voice.

“SILENCE!” Ichi screamed in their neurons. “I have a hunch The Lizard will protect us. Regenerating won’t take long. We’ll be back soon. I have an idea on what to do when that happens.”

Ni let out another growl while San let out a whimper of worry.

...

“Shit” The lizard looked at the immobilized hydra.

The creature cackled “Seems like your ally has gone down too. How pathetic” The creature kept cackling

Godzilla stayed silent. He stood there looking at the creature. An emotionless expression on his face.

“What? You’re giving up? Oh c’mon! I was having so much fun. Bah! I’ll take this opportunity” The creature started to charge at the lizard. Surprisingly enough the lizard had a plan. Hopefully it’ll give time for Ghidorah to be healed.

Godzilla charged up an Atomic Breath. It hit the creature square in the chest making it stumble back and it let out a cry of pain. It... it hurt him That’s a surprise.

Godzilla took this opportunity to attack. He sprinted towards it and clawed on its face constantly making the creature flinch. Then he buried his teeth on its neck again. He tried to rip its head off like a rabid dog, but the creature was fast. It retaliated and struck him on his chest making him lose his grip on it.

While Godzilla was recovering, the creature slammed itself on Godzilla making a building in the back crumble and making the lizard fall to the ground. Pinning him on the ground again. “Great. This shit again”

“No more stupid games. Goodbye, lizard.” Purple light emitted from the creature’s mouth again until...

Ghidorah was back. They grabbed the creature with their feet and wrapped their tails around it. The claws of the feet burying themselves on the armor of the creature and making it easy to grab. Then the right and left head bit the beast by the shoulders and lifted it. This was... familiar to Godzilla in a way. “Hmph. Could’ve been faster”

“Thank us later” The middle head said. Then they started to fly up high. They’re doing the same like they did to Godzilla back in Boston.

...

“HOW THE- Bah! Forget it. Let me the fuck down. NOW!” The beast screamed at them. He couldn’t attack them cuz he was on his back and they took hold of the tail so stabbing them wasn’t an option.

“Oh we will. Just give it a little bit of time. Be patient” A big smirk appeared on Ichi’s face while they kept flying upwards. Into the stratosphere.

“What are you fucking DOING!?” The creature yelled at the hydra. An expression of fury on its face.

“You don’t have to worry. We did this to a friend recently and they’re still alive” Ichi said

The creature squirmed trying to free itself but it was futile. The grip they had on it was extremely strong.

Finally they reached the stratosphere.

“Heh! It almost feels like home up here. You’ll have a fun ride” He was still smirking.

“Let go. NOW!” The beast exclaimed again.

“As. You. Wish” Ghidorah let go of him making it fall from the sky. The scene was beautiful. The sky lit up with the fire that was surrounding the creature. A solid 20 seconds passed until the creature went through the clouds and slammed on the ground leaving a huge crater. Ghidorah then landed safely on the ground. Godzilla came along.

“Thanks for that save... again” The Lizard said to them.

“Heh... not a problem” Ichi said.

“Haven’t had this fun in a while” San said. A grin full of evil on his face.

Ni didn’t say anything, but he was growling to the creature as a warning to stay down.

...

The creature stood up fast, but not without letting a cry of pain. Damage was being made. A good sign “You’ll PAY for that” The creature said. It did not wait and started to charge another beam and shot it at both Godzilla and Ghidorah. Godzilla dodge to his left and Ghidorah flew up. Both Titans slammed themselves on the stunned creature and both managed to pin it down. Ghidorah made sure to keep the tail in check so it wouldn’t stab anyone.

“Seems like it’s the end of the line for you” The middle head said. A big smirk on his face.

“Indeed. Better end you here now” The Lizard added.

“No! I refuse to accept this. I’m the most powerful being! I can’t die! It’s impossible” The creature was squirming around their grip trying to let itself free. It was futile.

“Sounds like me a while back. Good thing I learned my lesson” The middle head said in a stern voice.

“Lesson?” The creature had asked.

“You’ll learn eventually.” The middle head chuckled. Then her turned to the lizard with a smile “Ready?”

Godzilla chuckled and responded “Ready”

Both Titans charged up. Godzilla with his plates lighting up and Ghidorah with their necks emitting a yellow glow. Their eyes turned yellow too.

“No! This is not happening! It’s false” The creature said in desperation.

“Goodbye” Godzilla said and then laughed.

Both Titans shot their beams at the weak spot. The neck. Making the creature scream in pain and vaporizing it completely. It also separated the head from the body. Sooner after that they stopped shooting. The creature had been defeated.

Both Titans stood straight and roared loudly at the sky in victory. Godzilla’s powerful roar and Ghidorah’s high and low pitched sounds governed the area. Sooner after that, they stopped.

“You could’ve used that yellow attack of yours sooner you know” The Lizard said while looking at the stiff body of the creature they just defeated.

“We know. We didn’t have our full energy so we wanted to use it at the best time. Like that one” The middle head said.

Silence surrounded both Titans. Godzilla had a troubled look on his face while Ghidorah’s three heads looked at the horizon. It was full of wet crumbled buildings. Godzilla was the first to break the silence.

“Why did you do this?” Godzilla turned to them.

The middle head turned to him “Hmm?”

“Why did you... help me? We’re rivals. You could’ve easily let me die, beat that thing and become king again. Also how are you back? I killed you. I remember it clear as day how I vaporized your body.”

“You forgot one head” The middle one said in a monotone voice and the left head peaked in with a smile and a giggle. “You can also blame the insects of this planet. It was their work too, it seems. As for you other question...”

“Yes...?”

“We... do not have an exact reason. We have no interest killing you and conquering this planet anymore. Leaving it might be our next objective”

Godzilla stayed silent while looking at the ground.

“Maybe... you can stay”

The three heads turned to him in disbelief. Stay? What is this guy rambling about now?

“Maybe... you can have a new home now. With the condition of not causing any trouble, of course”

...

“What the fuck is he talking about?” Ni said through their neurons.

“Home. He is talking about home. About staying here on this planet” Ichi said still in a monotone voice.

“Hey! This place is fun! Maybe we can find someplace to stay here. If you two agree if course” San suggested

“Nah. Absolutely not. I would like to leave this place. This has been absolutely humiliating. Getting fucking killed? No, thank you” Ni said in an angered tone.

Ichi stayed silent.

“What do you say Brother Ichi?” San asked his big brother.

“We will leave. But the possibility of returning is there. I always remember where planet are located so... maybe sometime later. Was that understood?”

Both heads nodded in agreement. Then Ichi turned to look at the lizard who was still standing there in silence.

...

“Lizard!” The middle head spoke catching the Lizard’s attention. “We will leave. But be sure that we will return in the future. Your offer sounds... pleasant, after all.”

“I understand. This planet will be here waiting for you then” Godzilla replied.

Godzilla and the middle head stared at each other directly. Godzilla let out a smile. The middle head did the same.

Ghidorah, then, flapped their wings hard a flew up high, disappearing through the clouds and letting out a roar.

“Can’t believe I’ll say this, but... thank you.” Godzilla said whispering. Then he turned around and started to head for the ocean hoping to find some peace and rest in his home. This is a battle he was not going to forget anytime soon.

[helenarlett-rex]

Unexpected Movie Review: Destroy All Monsters

I have finally finished the Showa era of Godzilla movies. (Just the Godzilla movies. There are still a few random non-Godzilla titles from the Showa era I need to see, like Varan, the Unbelievable, Frankenstein vs. Baragon, Matango, stuff like that...) But at the very least I’ve finished the Godzilla movies from that era. The only one I hadn’t seen was Destroy All Monsters.

For some reason it was the one movie that never came on cable TV Godzilla marathons when I was a kid and never showed up on the shelf at video rental shops or even in the DVD bargain bin at Walmart. So after finally obtaining a copy I sat down to watch it tonight and... wow... That was it...? For having one of the largest cast of kaiju in a Godzilla movie, that was probably the most embarrassing attempt by an alien race to take over the Earth I’ve ever seen... So embarrassing that I just can’t keep it to myself and I have to do a review on this movie.

This movie was made back in 1968 but it’s set in the far off future of 1999... And it’s kind of hilarious sitting here watching what people in the 60s thought the future was going to look like when that future is now the past... I mean... remember back in the 90s when the UN built a moon base and we had daily flights between the Earth and the moon? And the under water base where we were busy making new breeds of fish? Damn... I miss that... That Y2K bug really set us back decades... But I guess the biggest achievement of the 90s was when we gathered up all the kaiju on the planet and locked them up on an island contained inside a magnetic shell. Because kaiju are magnetic, right...? That’s why they can’t get out...? Maybe they’re like sharks and magnets screw with their senses... Either way we were keeping them contained on this island we conveniently named “Monster Land” and were feeding them a steady diet of dolphins. Because fuck dolphins, am I right?

But then suddenly all the monsters are out and stomping all over the place. And I do mean suddenly. Like, one moment they are sitting there watching the monsters on the monitors and then they take their eyes off of them for five minutes and suddenly Rodan is leveling Moscow, Mothra is fucking up Beijing, Gorosaurus is in Paris knocking down  the Arc de Triomphe de l'Étoile while a mildly annoyed Frenchman yells about it as if it was no worse than his cat throwing up on the living room floor and the news reporters can’t even be bothered to get the monster’s name right, calling him Baragon... And Godzilla shows up and starts attacking New York City.

And my first thought is, wait a minute... This is taking place in 1999... So from where I’m sitting here in the future, I’m aware of things the film makers weren’t back in 1968 when this movie was made. Namely the existence of Godzilla 98. Which according to Godzilla Final Wars is canon in the Godzilla universe... Which means that after New York was attacked by Zilla in 1998 it then got attacked again by the actual Godzilla only a year later? That sucks... And if you count Godzilla: The Animated Series as canon (I don’t know if you would want to, but if you did...) then Zilla Jr. would have still been hanging around. Why haven’t we had a movie about the deleted scene where Godzilla fights Zilla Jr. yet? I want to see that.

But regardless of any of that, after the monsters start wrecking shit for no apparent reason, the aliens (because of course it’s aliens) show up, but this time they aren’t even subtle about it. No offering us a cure for cancer if we send Godzilla to the moon or back in time or anything like that... They just show up and are instantly like,

Only they already have control of all of our monsters and have already started mind controlling people so it’s not so much a trade offer as it is more of a we already made the trade without asking you kind of deal... But here’s where it gets kind of embarrassing because Japan and England (who are apparently the only members of the UN not on vacation this week) are both just kind of like, “Uhh... it only took us like twenty minutes to figure out how to spot the people you’ve mind controlled and remove the mind control implants... so how about you fuck yourself instead? Oh also, we see you as so little of a threat that we aren’t even breaking out the military for this. We just grabbed a handfull of astronauts and sent them to go steal the thing you are using to control the monsters. So yeah...”

Of course the aliens are like, “Wait, no... That’s not how this is supposed to work! Haven’t you ever been invaded before?!”

“Yeah, like, every other year for the last twenty years... This is just a regular August for us.”

“Shit... uhh... King Ghidorah!”

So the aliens call King Ghidorah, who is apparently working for them this year... I imagine King Ghidorah’s resume has got to look like total shit at this point. “Yeah I worked for the Venusians back in 1964. They got defeated... Then I worked for Planet X in 1965. They got defeated... Worked for Space Hunter Nebula M in 1972... They got defeated... Basically I’ve botched a lot of invasion attempts causing all my former emploiers to go extinct so honestly I’ll work for anyone who’s offering a paycheck at this point.”

And when King Ghidorah finally shows up for this kaiju royal rumble he shows up looking like Scott Hall making his way to the ring for the main event of Monday Night Nitro. In other words... he looks like he just got finished having an all night bender with Gigan and Megalon and is still hungover as fuck. And it really shows when the fight lasts all of about five minutes and Ghidorah gets the most embarrassing ass beating he’s ever had. I mean the guy shows up and is instantly gang banged by Godzilla, Anguirus, Gorosaurus, Mothra, Kumonga, and Minilla. Rodan just spends his time working air control to keep flying saucers out of the fight and Varan, Manda, and Baragon just sit back and eat popcorn while they watch the whole thing go down because at that point it’s already embarrassing enough without them getting involved. They even hold Ghidorah down and let fucking Minilla have the final kill shot then Minilla dances on Ghidorah‘s battered, unconscious body to add insult to injury.

And during this whole debacle Anguirus finds the alien’s hidden base on accident and Godzilla just walks over and puts his foot through the thing like it’s hardly even worth his time.

Never in my life have I ever seen an alien invasion go this bad. And in a way, setting the movie in the future kind of works from a comical standpoint. I don’t think the movie was intended to be a comedy, (That was reserved for Godzilla’s Revenge) but it works as one. Everyone in the movie from the human actors to the monsters were just kind of like, Yeah yeah, we’ve already done this a hundred times already. You really picked the wrong planet to pull this shit on. The idea of a movie showing the Godzilla universe dealing with Alien Invasion Attempt #50 and just giving no shits about it at this point is kind of brilliant. I’m sure it was all unintentional, but unintentionally brilliant is still brilliant.

[hopeatermeetsgodzilla]

Chapter 22

“Anguirus?” He snapped out of his trance, turning toward Mothra. Her wings were still open behind her, patterns glowing green as she absorbed energy. “Is everything alright? You’ve been awake for very long.”

He nodded. “Yeah, don’t worry. I just.. I wanna be there when he wakes up for real.”

Mothra sighed softly, turning toward her sleeping mate. Godzilla’s hair had switched from almost black to a dark, dull blue, and he was emitting his own light, even if it was much softer than her own. Not on the verge of dying anymore, stable even, but certainly not ready to fight.

“You should do like my brother.” Mothra told him, the two turning their head toward the rocky ceiling. Battra was hanging upside-down here, wings draped around him as he slept. “Rest, and conserve your energy.”

“I know I should, but...” Anguirus sighed. “Each time I lay down, I can’t help but think of all the good times I had with him. We’ve been friends for so long, I can barely remember a time when we weren’t... I don’t want to imagine what would happen if he actually did die.”

Mothra frowned sympathetically. Anguirus really was Godzilla’s oldest friend, wasn’t he? “Maybe talking about it would make you feel better?” She proposed.

Anguirus thought for a moment. “I mean, starting off, him dying from something we don’t know the source of is... pretty worrying? Especially when we look at everything else he survived: Ghidorah, Battra, Baragon, a shit-ton of Beetles, Manda pre-sinking of Mu, Ebirah-”

“You?” Mothra asked with a lilt in her voice. Anguirus couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Yeah, me! And you too!” He noted. “I mean, he just came on my island one day, started screaming at the top of his lungs, and started wrecking shit up. What was I supposed to do, not fight him to the death?”

Mothra laughed. “He never was good at negotiations, was he? During his quest to become King, he decided that the best way to make me come out to give him the Trial of Death was to deliberately provoke me.”

“At least, he had a reason for you! For me, he just wanted to kick someone’s ass because his sisters were teasing him!” Both laughed for a moment, before calming down. “Who else did he survive... ?”

“... Rodan.” Mothra muttered under her breath. “Dear Terra, Rodan-”

Anguirus chuckled. “Yeah, that checks out. Rodan’s temper is even worse than his, would make sense the two would fight. He just takes longer to blow up.”

“No, you don’t get it- when Ghidorah was busy sinking Atlantis, Rodan was busy fighting Godzilla. When I found them, the two kept throwing a rock at each other- Rodan with his head- and I had to tie them up with silk so they would listen. The reason I sought them out is because at this point, they were the only ones who survived an encounter with Ghidorah in the past.”

“What were their reaction.”

“Rodan didn’t give a shit. Apparently, he thought that humans dying out would be a good thing because, and I quote, ‘they’re always mean to me’.” She snapped, Anguirus bursting into laughter. “And Godzilla agreed! Even after Rodan dropped him crotch-first into a tree!” The laughing doubled, Mothra joining in this time. “I mean... I was eventually able to convince them, and you know the rest.”

Anguirus nodded. “Five fucking centuries we spent before we successfully sealed those fuckers away. And now, they’re free again, Godzilla’s dying, and Rodan won’t talk to us.”

Mothra frowned at that. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a way again.”

“I know, it’s just...” He sighed, closing his eyes and turning away. “I can’t help but wonder when it all went wrong.”

-

Rodan stared up at the sky, thoughts circling in his head at a frantic pace. He knew Ghidorah were not good people. They came down from the sky to destroy their world, starting with the king that came before Godzilla, shortly followed by his father, and all of the pretenders to the throne. They liked causing storms that wiped away everything under them for... what? Proving they could? Practice? Entertainment?

They were selfish monsters who only cared about themselves, and everything else was to be destroyed for mild amusement. He knew all that. But if that was the case, then why were they being so kind to him?

Why was Ichi doing his hair for no reason and cuddling him and dancing with him and giving him compliments?

Why was Ni constantly bringing him gifts and food and trying to be less of a sharp weapon for his brothers to yield?

Why was San always so happy to see him and so patient and understanding when he messed up?

Surely, it must have been some kind of trick. Make him lower his guard so he’ll let them out. But they not being the reason why Mara had died, San opening up about his own past wounds, Ni making himself so vulnerable when he was teaching him sign words, still kept him questioning what their intentions were here.

The fact that he was currently being cuddled by all three was not helping with his internal questioning.

He tried to get up, doing his best not to shake them awake, but immediately stopped as he heard San stir. Red eyes blink open in the darkness, locking onto him. “What are you doing?” He asked, a lilt to his voice indicating playfulness.

Before he could think of what to say, he opened his mouth and asked the question that pretty much summed up all of his current worries. “Why are you three being so nice to me?”

San blinked in confusion, tilting his head. “Because we like having you around- sorry, I don’t think I understand your question.”

Rodan laughed bitterly. “Oh please. Literally the only thing you three care about is yourselves.”

San frowned. “When did we ever give this impression?”

“Oh boy, where to start?” Rodan exclaimed, starting to remember acutely the things Ghidorah did in his presence, before all four of them were trapped on Mara. “Ichi thinks he stands at the top of everything, and that whatever doesn’t bend their back forward at the sight of him needs to be destroyed.”

(Godzilla, staring into nothing, expressing doubt of being able to become King for the first time since the beginning on his campaign as he tells his friends how his father died while showing them a wound that would’ve killed him had it striked just a bit more to the left-)

“Or how about Ni jumping anyone who so much as threatens you three? Godzilla and everyone who’s ever met him are convinced that he lives to inflict physical pain.”

(Shrieking laughter echoing as Mothra was punched by lightning again and again in her child form, almost killing her permanently but that clearly didn’t matter as much to Ghidorah as making her cry out for help and in pain-)

“And as for you...” Rodan said nothing after that. Just clutched at the wound on his chest San had inflicted millenias ago, suddenly very aware of the acute pain here. The first time he had been alone with the three of them...

(Come back when you’re worth looking at.)

“You like hurting people too. Not like Ni does, but you do. Your words...” He took a short breath through his teeth. “Your words cut, and they cut deep.”

“Which is why you don’t want to hear the truth.” San suddenly said. All emotions were gone from his voice as big red eyes stared at Rodan, almost burning in the dark.

Rodan withheld it, narrowing his own eyes. “Don’t tell me what I want. The only person who can say what I want is me. Answer my question, San.”

“... We want you to let us out, so we’re being nice.” He admitted, voice still devoid of emotions. “That’s the main reason.”

Rodan frowned. “You guys do realize I’m not gonna let that happen, right? The only reason why I’m around you three is to not go insane mad from loneliness, you said it yourself. Being nice to me isn’t going to convince me you’re actually nice.” Better not mention how much their kindness had shaken him.

“But it’ll make you lower your guard. Tell us things about yourself that you normally wouldn’t tell a soul. And then, once we’ve emptied you of all your secrets, we’d be able to destroy what’s left with an off-hand comment. And that’s when you’d let us out.” There was silence for a moment, before a shaky sound emerged from Rodan. San frowned as he recognized what it was. Laughter. “Why are you laughing?”

Rodan gradually stopped. “Should’ve seen this coming.” Steam clouded his vision as he blinked. “Of course the only moment you deem me worth looking at is when you want to break me.”

“What? No!” San exclaimed, Rodan sending him a skeptical look. “I mean, at first, but things have changed since then! We... we like having you around.” He admitted. “You... you’re like the brightest, biggest, hottest star in the universe, and your presence alone beckons us to get closer and closer, regardless of the risk of getting burnt, just for the chance to bask into your light.”

“... what the fuck are you talking about?”

“What I’m trying to say is...” San grabbed Rodan’s hand, his face warming up at that. “We actually like having you around. You’re like a beacon, and we don’t want to lose sight of you.”

Rodan shook his head curtly, tugging his hand away from San’s as the blush on his face lessened. “Why should I believe you!? You literally just admitted to trying to mentally break me in order to make me a slave!”

“True. We’ve snuffed out bigger flames than yours before.” San admitted. “But none were ever as bright as you. We don’t want to snuff you out anymore: we want you to be our lantern!... you know what a lantern is, right?”

Rodan hesitantly nodded. “Like a torch, but smaller?”

San nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, they’re pretty similar! To be honest, I don’t think we’d be able to snuff you out, no matter what we try. Next best thing is feeding your flame and having you light the way to our conquest.” Rodan frowned in confusion at that.

“I thought you wanted to kill the planet?”

San giggled. “What, did one of the Moths tell you that?” 

Rodan nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, Mothra did.”

“Come on, firebird. We’re not going to destroy the planet we’re hiding on! That would be very stupid. We just want to adapt it to our needs, and, uh...” he hissed through gritted teeth. “We can’t really help it if all humans are gonna die. Beside, we can’t control something if we destroy it at the first opportunity.”

Rodan sighed, closing his eyes and turning away from San. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense...”

“You want to know what we were going to tell you?” San asked in a low voice. “What we thought would break you before you showed us nothing can?” Rodan frowned, but nodded nonetheless, convinced nothing Ghidorah could tell him would make him change his mind. Oh, how wrong he was. “We’re not the ones who killed your island and your friend.”

“Yeah, I figured out you didn’t destroy my island, it’s why I’m so confused- wait. You guys didn’t kill Godzilla?” He asked, filled with confusion. San nodded. “But... you three hate him.”

“Exactly. If we had killed him, Ni would’ve swam after his corpse to take his head as a trophy.” San told him, Rodan humming in answer. “The ones who killed them... are humans.”

“What!?” He exclaimed, somehow sitting up in surprise without waking Ichi up. “But how- humans are so tiny-”

“Do you remember what I told you, back in the soul realm?” San asked, blinking slowly. “Weaker beings fear what they don’t understand. If you don’t understand how you cheated death, how are beings as puny as humans supposed to understand anything about you, let alone your people?”

Rodan had nothing to say to that. Especially since he knew exactly what San was talking about. Humans that were both very brave and very stupid, usually the ones that could not Hear them,  “I- but how did they-?”

“With machines.” The only answer to that was an incredibly confused frown. “Look, for now, go back to sleep, okay?” San asked, putting a hand on Rodan’s shoulder and forcing him to lay back down. As he was about to retort, Ghidorah gently shushed him. “We’ll give you proof in the morning.”

-

[Telling him what we’re doing was a really stupid move.]

(I know. But his main problem with us until now is that he thought we killed one of his friends and his nest. He now knows we didn’t, and is questioning whether or not we actually want to destroy the planet. I took a calculated risk.)

{And you’re better at math than I remember you being. The biggest setback with this change is that we’ll have to wait longer before enveloping the planet in a storm for good, make an active effort in keeping it alive... Until our dear fire bird dies, that is.}

[Oh... I suppose we could wait just a few more millenias before leaving. I mean, we’ve already stayed on this planet for... what, forty thousand years?]

(Around that, yeah! And uh... I don’t know about you two, but I think I want Rodan to stay around for as long as possible.)

{Seconded, actually. He’s entertaining. Having him as an enraged flag bearer will be interesting.}

[You two should be more careful. You’ll end up getting attached and thinking you owe him something.]

{You’re the one getting language lessons from him. If one of us is going to end thinking they owe fire bird something, it’s you.}

[What-]

(~ Ni owes Rodan ~ Ni owes Rodan ~ Ni owes Ro-)

[I don’t owe him shit!]

{Are you protesting us waiting until he dies a death unrelated to us, then?}

[... No.]

{Then it’s settled. Rodan shall be kept alive, and act as our champion.}

[deepestobjectphantom]

Godzilla vs. Kong (Reimagined)

Saw the movie, didn’t like it, honestly, I love King Kong and I love Godzilla, and I love seeing them, but I don’t see why everyone always wants to see them fight. They should have gotten together and started a "Best Friend's Detective Agency" where Godzilla is the mean and brutish one with a secret heart of gold, and King Kong is the mean and brutish one with a secret heart of gold, and they go out and take on the mysteries that others won't tackle, like why did Mrs. Baker's hoe go missing, or what ever happened to Mr. Simpson's missing keys? But one day, while investigating who has been stealing Mr. Grayson's prize winning tomatoes, they would follow a trail out into the woods where they would accidentally stumble upon a shady deal between two people in the woods, one of them hands the other a suitcase, and says "this is the first payment, you'll get the rest when you've completed your task." Just then they notice they're being watched by a giant Ape and a Giant Reptile, and they chase the pair into the woods. Godzilla recognizes the man from the television, he's the mayor of their hometown of Skullsville (the capital of Skull Island, and where they derive the name of the Island from), and the other person they didn't recognize, but they looked like they were wearing a scientist's smock under their trench coat. Godzilla and King Kong can't go home, because they don't want to endanger their parents, so they get their friends Mothra and Rodan and decide to investigate the matter themselves. They quietly sneak into Apex labs, and find their way to a secret elevator that takes them deep into the earth, where they discover Godzilla's old Friend Ghidorah has been imprisoned, and it turns out they've been mind controlling Ghidorah to make him do evil things, like in the last film, and Godzilla come up with a plan to help their Friend, and when no one is looking they try to break Ghidorah out, but this is when the Mayor and his friend the Evil Dr. Snootingstone, reveal that this was all a trap set to lure them so they can now control the minds of all five of the giant monsters! However, just when it looks like things are up for our team of friends, the doors fly open, and a group of protesters storm into the building and throw bricks and Molotov cocktails and shit all over the place, and it's revealed earlier that King Kong didn't call the police, because fuck the police, but instead got into contact with local activists who weren't about to let some Mayor and Capitalist get their hands on 5 titans! So they stormed the building, released the monsters, and saved the day. At the end of the film all five kids are awarded medals for their bravery, but Mothra's medal falls off and crushes the Mayor and Evil Scientist, and everyone puts their hands on their hips and looks at Mothra, and everyone goes, "Mothra!" And the whole town has a laugh and Mothra says his catch phrase, "I'm sooooooooo sorry guys!" Then after the credits there is a scene that shows the team has built a dimensional transportation device and they're like, "We have to get to the Pacific Rim and save those poor Kaiju, Best Friends!" And Mechagodzilla is in the background looking at the ground and twiddling his thumbs, "you guys probably don't want a clumsy oaf like me along," and King Kong pats his shoulder, looks him in the eye, and says, "this wouldn't be a team without you, buddy! Now lets go save some Kaiju!" And it concludes with the caption "Pacific Rim 3, Coming Summer 2022!"

[thecrazydragonlady]

My -not requested- thoughts on the new Godzilla vs. Kong Trailer

So... 

It’s here.

The trailer that I think a lot of people might have been waiting for. The official Godzilla vs. Kong movie trailer and BOI was it a ride. 

Before you read this post, please be aware that these are only my initial feelings/ thoughts on the trailer after taking a look at it. This does not reflect my ideas or beliefs on the franchise as a whole. These are going to be subjected to change once I get a chance to see the full film. 

That being said, I’ve got a couple of thoughts on the trailer which are below:

1. Kong in chains? Really guys?

Let’s face it, the first thing that comes to mind when it comes to King Kong are probably the popular stereotypes: Climbing a tall building, carrying a scantly clad woman, oh and don’t forget about the chains. 

Seriously?

Look, if Kong really does this listen to this little girl, or at least trusts her enough to defend her, the chains aren’t needed. Seriously. Just ask the girl to help convince Kong to sit on the boat long enough to get to wherever the hell Godzilla is. It would be nicer than falling back on a rather racist mentality where “dangerous things” have to be held down while in transit. Sound familiar? 

Or the writer’s could have done the odd thing and given Kong a reason to willingly work with these humans, like say, Godzilla showing up one day to Skull Island, wrecking everyone’s shit, pissing off Kong, and then ducking out. Kong’s good, but he’s not an aquatic lizard. He’d definitely need help getting back at the Big G then. What better than with the tiny humans in the big ass boat? He’d probably go sit on it himself and tell them to hurry it up. 

TL;DR the trope is out dated and racist. 

2. Battle on the ocean is cool and all....

But if you’re going for realism, those boats, no matter how big, don’t stand a chance. Realism has been the goal of these versions of the movies. Godzilla was specifically designed to be as realistic for what a large, water-dwelling monster, could be if it ever stepped into our universe. All of the kaiju have been designed this way so far. 

“But Dragon,” you say, “They’re kaiju movies. They can’t be realistic.”

To that, I say, touché. Correct in that regard. 

However, each of the monsters, Godzilla, Kong, Mothra, Rodan, Ghidorah, Skullcrawlers, Warbat, the Mutos, and so on, were all designed with realism in mind. Their main purpose was to be designed in such a way that there was no question that they couldn’t exist in our world. The creative team behind the movie is banking on the realism to give these movie an edge that a lot of rubber suit Godzilla movies don’t have. These affects are part of why the only other, hyper-realistic Godzilla movie, Shin Gojira (Godzilla Resurrection in America) did so well in Japan. There was no question that Shin Gojira couldn’t exist, and wouldn’t come out of the ocean to destroy all of Tokyo. 

3. Godzilla changing sides wasn’t out of nowhere. We knew this was going to happen. 

They totally foreshadowed that at the end of KOTM when the plane/airship flew away. Their whole conversation was pointed out for this main reason. They were setting up for the Big G to be the bad guy in this movie. 

Not that that’s unusual. Godzilla has flipped sides a lot in his time. Shin Gojira, for example, depicts him as an obvious villain. The Showa Era movies see him more as a relatable hero of humanity. Heisei has him flip a bit back and forth, or at least hold a neutral tone. Millennium Era was roughly the same with movies like GMK having him as an obvious villain while movies like Final Wars gave him a more neutral tone. 

Now the American versions have been aiming for him to be a friend to humanity that suddenly turns with only a small handful of stubborn characters (Millie Bobby Brown’s character for example) absolutely believing that someone, or something, has caused Godzilla to go on a rampage against humanity. Another movie that made this switch? Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (1991). Godzilla starts out as a dinosaur living on an island that saves the Japanese forces during WWII, only for him to be essentially reincarnated in a new form after the shenanigans of the movie, turning him into humanity’s enemy, further forcing them to revive King Ghidorah as Mecha KG to fight him again. 

No where in Godzilla’s history, has he ever been 100% friend of humanity. Even in the Showa Era movies, which were altered to be very child friendly, one could place a lot of argument for neutrality, at best. 

4. But all of this doesn’t mean that we as viewers can’t be frustratingly upset about this fact. 

Godzilla and Kong both have ardent followers. There are probably many that are upset over the sudden turn. Finally, here, we have the best American versions of the Big G depicting him as a hero of humanity, only to be suddenly hit with the idea that he’s now the big bad and will lose to Kong. 

Kong people, you’re awesome. 

But I’m rooting for Godzilla. 

Of course Big G fans are going to be upset. If history has taught us anything, it’s that Godzilla is about to have his tail handed to him by Kong. May I remind everyone of this gif? 

Unfortunately, this point is going to have to sit until the movie comes out. Until we can be certain of the storyline, there’s no way to say, one way or the other, who the victor is going to be. 

As viewers, we’re allowed to feel betrayed by this change in storyline and characterization. They better have a damn good reason why they’re suddenly making G out to be the villain. The writing is going to have to be on point for this movie to be a success. 

5. This movie is going to have to choose between two endings: Alternative endings OR  a Combined ending. 

Buckle up. This is my longest point/ section so far. 

Here’s the thing: When the original GvK (depicted above in gif form) came out way back in the start of Godzilla’s long and storied history, Kong was the winner. Plain and simple. For years, there’s been a false story or rumor going around that this version of the movie had two endings- one where Kong won (which was presented in America) and one where G won (presented in Japan). 

But that’s not the case. 

See, Godzilla had just become a thing a few years before hand. He only had, like, twelve or so years in existence at the time. Kong had been around for around thirty years and was wildly more popular to viewers. Therefore, Toho made the executive decision to save Godzilla by having him fight Kong, and have Kong win. There never was a second ending where Godzilla won. He didn’t have the follower numbers, yet, to allow that to happen. Even then, the numbers of box office tickets for each of the Godzilla movies shows how up and down his stardom has been. This can even be seen in the ten year gap that happens between 1975 and 1985 where no Godzilla movies are made; the Showa Era ends in 1975 with Terror of Mechagodzilla and the Heisei Era doesn’t even begin until 1985 with The Return of Godzilla. 

Now, Monsterverse is going to have to make a tough choice: script, write, and create two alternative endings where Godzilla and Kong win in each, ultimately making the other a loser, and then having a continuity issue that they’re going to have to deal with in all subsequent movies OR combine the two by making Godzilla and Kong chill on each other and fight a different kaiju all together. 

Honestly, as cool as the alternative endings would be, I just don’t see it being feasible to do. 

Therefore, I’m under the impression that we’re going to have a third kaiju enter the ring. One that is going to be powerful enough to get the two most powerful kaiju on planet Earth to team up with each other. 

You’ve got three (four if you’re digging) options for this particular villain: The new Warbat kaiju, King Ghidorah (and subsequently Mecha King Ghidorah, making number four), OR MechaGodzilla. 

Warbat seems to be the more obvious answer as some of the smaller ones were presented in the trailer, and Ghidorah/Mecha and MechaG may appear random. 

Or maybe not. 

Some leaked toy images for figures that are/were released for the movie, depicted a MechaG as part of the set. I do not know how reliable that information is. They could have pulled it for all I know and, no, I don’t have time to research it now. If you’re at this point in the essay anyway, might as well read to the end. 

Here’s the deal: if MechaG exist then so can Mecha KG. I’m not talking about realism at this point (number two if you skipped that part), because neither could technically exist in a more “realistic” version of kaiju movies. The science just wouldn’t be there in this civilization that mirrors our own specifically. I haven’t heard anything about free fighting, giant robots being a thing in this world. No, the giant Gundams in Japan don’t count. These movies have been rather strict in following the “laws of reality”. Everything in the them could feasibly happen if, and only if, kaiju were real in this world. That is what makes them appealing to viewers. It only makes sense, then, that if they’re willing enough to break their own rules over realism, then both options would be viable candidates for a combination baddie that gets G and K off each other’s throats. 

My question then would be- who’s controlling them? 

Is MG and MKG going to be controlled by aliens again (as depicted in both of their origin stories)? If so, that would help to heal Godzilla’s relationship with the humans and force him and Kong to work together. It would also open the Monsterverse all the way up for new storylines that involve space like, say, SpaceGodzilla or even Biolante (my absolute favorite who I would love to see in the Monsterverse, but, I digress). If not, then humanity is going to have two very pissed off kaiju on their hand. Godzilla for being betrayed by them again and Kong for being dragged off his island, forced to fight, only to get backstabbed by them. It definitely wouldn’t help that they are, quite literally, the two strongest kaiju on the planet. 

More than likely, the space angle won’t happen. Monsterverse will probably make MG Monarch’s creation, but then make MechaKG/KG Alan Jonah’s creature since we saw how he was so gun- ho on getting that KG head at the end of KOTM. However, it doesn’t stand to reason that Jonah’s character would have the resources or know-how to build a Mecha out of nowhere. While resourceful, that information wasn’t provided at all in KOTM. 

Monarch, on the other hand, could say out of nowhere, “Oh, yeah. We’ve been studying these kaiju for so long that we figured out their weaknesses so we built a giant robot to beat the shit out of them all, but we kept it secret because the Government cut all connections with us and we didn’t want to lose our ace just yet.” See, unlike Jonah’s character, they have the resources. They have the know-how. They have the people to do it. That storyline would be more believable than what they’re attempting to do with Jonah, which is somehow giving him control of Ghidorah. 

I have better chances of teaching my cat to tap-dance than Jonah has of controlling Ghidorah. 

I doubt anyone on this planet would be able to control KG. After all, it was very pointed in his origin story in KOTM that KG was a space alien, sent to Earth for some reason. To change it? To control it? Who knows, but it definitely didn’t come with good intentions. If KG in the Monsterverse is a space creation, much like in his origin story for the Toho branch, then it would stand that only the aliens who created it would be able to control it. Meaning that, unless he has the override passcode for the genetic mutating the space creeps have to do to control such a large kaiju, Jonah’s character is going to be the first one squished once KG has time to revive. I’ll eat my hat if he manages to figure it out. 

As of right now, we can’t be certain how long it has been since the end of KOTM. Millie Bobby Brown’s character appears aged but that could just be her growing in real life since the last movie came out. There’s no real way to tell right now. Nothing that I saw in the trailer at least would be helpful. I would imagine that it would take KG a long time to come back since all that remained after that final battle was one pretty dead head that had been at the bottom of the ocean if his regrowth factor is going to even be considered here. It would have to regrow its other two heads and its complete body again. Honestly, I just can’t determine how much of a threat KG is going to be in this movie, if at all.

My money’s on Warbat being the big bad with possible MechaG undertones. 

*****************************************************************************

There you go. My unsolicited Godzilla movie trailer thoughts. Remember: these are only the initial thoughts on the trailer that came out today. Some of these will be changed as soon as I possibly can when the movie drops. 

[mothra-against-all]

Alright, let’s do this. Review time. tl;dr, this movie puts the biggest grin on my face, it really is everything I ever wanted from a big budget Hollywood Godzilla movie. Spoilers below the break.

I don’t even know where to start. So many of the things I liked are tied up in each other...

+ Do I even need to mention how much of a spectacle the fights are? When I saw Endgame earlier this spring, I thought to myself, “this is the film spectacle of the year,” and then Godzilla came, smacked me in the face, and reminded me why I run a kaiju blog and not a Marvel blog.

+ Bear McCreary continues to be my favorite composer, managing to both perfectly capture the classic themes while also hitting it out of the park with the original pieces. 

+ The Titans have distinct personalities and emotions.

+ Rodan is such a dramatic little shit, I love him.

+ They did Mothra so well, both as a majestic goddess and as a complete badass. Could have done with a bit more of her, but, you know, blog title speaks for itself here.

+ When I talk about distinct personality, Ghidorah is the major player here, because he’s three characters in one and honestly I think this addition makes this my favorite iteration of him we’ve gotten in the series. Also, he’s an alien! I really doubted that they were gonna do that.

+ Of course, the big man himself I could praise for days. He’s here to kick some serious ass, show everyone who’s boss, and nobody’s gonna get in his way. He demands respect and at the end of the movie, he certainly gets it. Long live the king.

+ The Mothra and Godzilla duo. That relationship. Amazing, fantastic. Thank you for my life.

+ Mothra’s sacrifice...paralleling her sacrifice in GMK...my favorite Godzilla movie of all time. Burning fucking Godzilla. The nuclear pulse. Not just that but the fact that it sounds and looks like Mothra when he uses it.

+ New monsters! Don’t get me wrong, I love the classics, but nothing beats getting some new faces. They played a limited role, but I’m glad they were included none-the-less. Plus watching them all bow to Godzilla at the end really cinched the ending.

+ My next point will touch on the poorer side of the human side of this story, but that comes with the exception of Serizawa. He’s been a wonderful character both here and in 2014, thanks to exceptional character writing and an amazing performance by Ken Watanabe. And ultimately he died as poetically and monster-lovingly as he lived.

~ Obviously, yes, the human story and characterization aren’t great. And, no, I don’t think, “it’s a Godzilla movie, people come for monster fights” is a valid excuse, we can have both. But I enjoyed the human side here in the way that it reminded me of a 60s sci-fi movie.

~ Now here’s something I haven’t yet seen anyone mention. There’s a bit of disjoint between this movie and 2014. 2014 feels very grounded despite its subject matter and this movie does not. Kong sort of tapped us in this zanier direction, but if Kong was a tap, KOTM straight up pushed us down the stairs. I’m not complaining about the tone. I like where the movie is, and I’m not saying KOTM should have been more realistic, just that the transition away from that is a bit jarring.

- The movie did feel a little cramped. Like, I appreciate the fanservice as much as anyone, but, for example, the oxygen destroyer just came out of nowhere.

Alright, I think I’m done. At least until next year, because that’s right, we’ve got our next sequel knocking on the door already. Get back on the train, it’s not over yet!

[darman1685]

Godzilla review

               Godzilla: King of the Monsters is a fantastically fun film which brings the creatures to life in a majestic and epic way and gives them the screen time they deserve.   The whole thing is tied together with a pretty flimsy plot that depends a lot on the stupidity of the human characters, but none of it detracts from the sheer fun of watching the Titans wreak havoc.  Sure, I couldn’t remember anyone’s name nor did I care much but that didn’t stop the audience from cheering in the right spots and having a good time.  NOTE- SPOILERS AHEAD- READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

               Things start with Millie Bobby Brown, who plays Madison, and her family.  She’s currently living with her mom, who works for Monarch, an organization tasked with monitoring and taking care of all the giant monsters that have popped up since Godzilla woke back up in the first film.  Dad used to work for Monarch too, but after they lost their son in the ending smackdown of the 2014 movie, he said “eff this” and left to do something slightly less dangerous such as study wolves and drink heavily.  Mom decided to stick it out and stay with Monarch not let her son’s death be in vain by studying these creatures.  Mom’s kinda stupid however, as there is suddenly a disturbance in the creature she’s currently studying, and first thing she does is bring Madison with her to check it out.  After losing one child to a giant monster, having your other tag along to investigate a giant monster just makes sense.  

               Well, turns out Mothra’s hatching from her egg, and its just the time to prove Mom’s new invention works.  See, Monarch is kind of stupid too, as the first thing they do upon awakening a giant Worm is throw it in a laser cage, and when their laser cage starts breaking on its own, start shocking the crap out of said worm.  Mothra, to her credit, dispatches all her attackers nonlethally, thus cementing her as a “good” monster in the audience’s eyes.  But Mom (can’t think of her name) whips out what she calls the Orca, a machine that can match frequencies with Titans and calm them, control them, what ever the plot needs asking for.  The Orca works but no sooner do we get a docile Mothra to bond with when the entire Mothra lab is gunned down by terrorists, who promptly kidnap Madison and Mom.  

               Cut to Monarch trying to defend itself in front of the UN.   They’re demanding, not unreasonably, why they’re not finding and getting rid of the things that can level cities.  Ken Watanabe makes the case that these are animals that deserve to live, that we need to co-exist with the gigantic Titans, that Monarch is doing a fine job of monitoring and containing them and excuse me I have a phone call.  Right in the middle of claiming they’re not incompetent Monarch receives the call that dozens are dead, they lost control of the giant worm and had the invaluable talk to monsters device stolen.  With the Orca gone, Watanabe (I could look up his character name but honestly it doesn’t matter) and crew look up Dad (Likewise, I can’t remember his name either).  Not only will he have an interest in getting his daughter and ex wife back to safety, but he worked on the Orca with Mom when it was a prototype and thus is the only other person who can track it.  While the humans do human things, Godzilla speaks for the audience and gets on with it. He veers off his usual territory and makes a beeline for Antarctica, where Monarch has been holding the biggest and baddest Titan on ice; Monster Zero.  Godzilla, like the audience, put two and two together and realizes that the bad guys are clearly going to use the Orca to control the Titans and are going after public enemy number one.  The big G isn’t going stand the presence of another alpha and heads out to put his house in order, the audience is along for the ride, and the human characters are doing whatever they’re doing to catch up.

               Sure enough, Monarch’s stupidity is on full display as the terrorists completely sweep the base where Monster Zero is sleeping, kill everyone, and start plans for the thaw.  Dad and crew arrive shortly after, which leads to a big confrontation between Monarch and the terrorists.  Going on his own, Dad finds Mom and Madison, but instead of coming with them, they….bah bah baaaaaaaaaah stay with the terrorists!!!   See, Mom is even Stupider than previously indicated and is on board with the plan to kill dozens of her coworkers and letting the three headed dragon roast the planet.  Madison, I can forgive, because she’s supposedly a kid and trying to look out for her moronic mother.  But Stupidmom doesn’t even hesitate to push the button let Mr. Zero, who we know as King Ghidorah, out of the ice cage before even SHE has an opportunity to get off the premises.  Ghidorah awakens, and again the movie shines.  He looks amazing, wonderfully realized in a blend of modern, animalistic queues and his classic Toho design.  Between the tongue flicks, the tail rattle, and the coiled necks, there are a lot of snake details that really breathe realism into the giant hydra.  Hell, each of his heads even has their own personality.  It’s clear a lot of love went into the real starts of this movie.  Godzilla arrives and the first epic smack down begins.  For the moment, all the dumb humans and their drama is forgotten, and we get what we came for.  Awesomely choreographed action between two behemoths that needs to be seen on the big screen.  

The first round ends with Ghidorah beating cheeks, leaving Godzilla in hot pursuit and mad as hell because he can’t fly.  While the humans again struggle to keep up with the characters we actually  care about, Stupidmom calls in to warn her surviving coworkers and reveal the depth of her crazy. She even had a little slideshow prepared about how we humans are basically scum, and the best thing to heal the planet is letting giant monsters do whatever they want with it.   You see, everywhere the monsters go, after they’re done stepping on and razing thousands of innocents, life finds a way, or some such nonsense.  I for one understand the point they’re trying to make, and honestly they’re not wrong about human kind and what we’re doing to the planet, but the idea that Stupidmom is selling goes beyond that.  She’s telling us the Titans are like natural disasters, but, A-They’re Apex Predators that they’re waking up ON PURPOSE with the Orca, not letting naturally awakening, and B- They’re assuming all of these Titans are going to have the same effect of healing the Earth and not just, you know, using it to beat each other to hell.  That’s not even counting the thousands of innocent deaths.   Sufficiently showing how batshit she is, Stupidmom signs off, and then proceeds to release Rodan because why not add another.  Dad and Monarch desperately try to get the town the base of Rodan’s volcano evacuated (I might have done that BEFORE the giant Pteranodon awoke but that’s just me) but soon the big bird himself awakens and proceeds to wreak havoc.  Our heroes decide to try and lead Rodan away from the town and straight into King Ghiodrah, who’s been booking it towards the volcano looking for another alpha to fight that wasn’t Godzilla.   Their plan works (for once) and while Ghidorah takes out Rodan, Godzilla catches up and the two begin to duke it out again.  At the point, the military has had enough of Monarch’s shit and has been developing an anti-Titan weapon, which at they’ve already launched at Godzilla and Ghidorah, barely giving Dad and crew time to get the hell out of there. The weapon goes off, but only seemingly kills Godzilla.  Ghidorah gets away and is now unchallenged, so far as even making Rodan his little titan sidekick.  

So Godzilla is presumed dead, and Ghidorah is crowned new king and is broadcasting his cry to all other Titans around the globe, causing them to awaken and go berserk.  You see, it turns out King Ghidorah is actually not a Titan FROM EARTH, but he’s actually from outer space, so Stupidmom’s whole reasoning for the plan is turned upside down because he can’t heal the Earth if he’s not FROM the Earth! Madison finally had enough and starts looking for a way to use the Orca to stop the chaos.  I could go on nitpicking the plot to humorous effect, but I’m going to stop here to at least leave SOME surprise.  Needless to say, it all leads to a multiple monster smackdown that again, must be seen on the big screen.  The plot starts to drag after Godzilla “dies” (come on, no one really believes it even in the movie) because the humans are left to their own devices for a bit.  However once the true king awakens the action picks up again and the pure fun of a monster movie plays out in front of us.  

I’ve been ripping the movie apart, but honestly none of it detracts from how enjoyable it is.  A lot of talk is going around about how thin the plot is, and don’t get me wrong it is, but that’s not what I’m here for.  I’m here to watch Godzilla fight, and have fun, and that’s what the movie delivers. It’s almost like a modern B movie, something that’s cheesy and campy but serviceable as a monster delivery system. Its an event, and one that the audience totally got swept up in, wanting less of Stupidmom’s crusade and more of the monsters and their world.  While it drags at a few times, this is a great popcorn flick that anyone will enjoy as long as they know what they’re getting into.    I highly recommend it.  

[talesfromtheshatterhome]

Monster island. Shatterdome.

 Sirens were blaring. A pack of Godzilla type monsters had come to the island. The other monsters had left with some of the ultras. Presumably to regroup to face This new threat of Diablo. The whereabouts of Belial, and the status of the invading space ship Zanon were still unknown. Repairs were complete on Gipsy Danger and Cherno Alpha, MOGUERA was almost complete and prepared to move out.

“Herc you’re gonna want to look at this.” Choi said, walking into Marshal Hercules Hanson’s quarters.

“Whats going on out there?”

“Our Serizawa has been searching the satellite feeds for Godzilla. Our island sensors picked up a large group of Godzilla including Space Godzilla returning to the island. Godzilla himself however left and Serizawa has just found him somewhere near Ireland. He is in an area with some strange readings, and we cant really see whats going on but from what we can make out he is engaged in combat currently.  It looks like some of the other monsters are on their way there as well. Whatever this Diablo thing is, I think we need to tackle it with the monsters while we can. Also unrelated, we need to code name the new Godzillas. Junior is still here. Space Godzilla is apparently here. Kiryu is gone. That hard-ass looking fella was Kiryu according to on site reports from the chrysalis location. So I guess space G over there hatched. Then there is the old man, no idea what that Goji’s story is, and then there is that one Chunky lookin fella Junior trashed a few months ago. So I had some recommendations for you.” Tendo Choi said.

“Walk while we talk.” Herc said. Standing from his desk and wandering down the hall. Towards the comms center.

“So the chubby guy I think we should name Legendary Godzilla. He wrecked up a whole bunch of monsters when Belial faced Diablo. Space Godzilla and Junior we already know. The other one looks like he is an older Godzilla and I think the code name ‘Ancient Godzilla’ would work. And Finally this one that Kiryu was built on. He seems to be the head of the pack now so I felt Alpha would be appropriate.”

“Sure Tendo. What ever works. What else is happening?”

“Well the other Serizawa showed up from the science patrol. Something about a break through with a genetic formula. He has been working on the Burning Godzilla issue, you know how Godzilla can absorb too much radiation and has the potential to melt down and destroy the planet and all that?”

“Right. I uh… didn’t know that… At all. Was that a thing that could have happened?”

“Yeah. It almost did while he was fighting us and all that craziness last year.”

“Holy crap I shot missiles at him…”

“Yeah good thing Mothra was there. Any way. So Serizawa has been trying to find a way to stabilize that. He said he figured out some kind of catalyst. I cant really make heads or tails of whats going on. Also Aparently all of the monsters from the island got swamped by Kaiju, were saved by some Ultras and now they all split with the ultras and Battra trying to find some kind of Guardian Monsters to fight Diablo.”

“WHAT?! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME ALL OF THE MONSTERS FROM THE ISLAND LEFT?! BUT WAIT BACK IT UP… THE ISLAND WAS ATTACKED BY KAIJU DURING THE BLACKOUT AND WE HAD UNAUTHORIZED ULTRAS JUST SHOW UP AND LEAD EVERYONE OFF ON SOME KIND OF SEARCH FOR SASQUATCH?!”

“Well yeah. Sorry. Serizawa seemed really excited and now we have four more Godzillas then we used to. I guess I got distracted…”

“YOU GOT DISTRACTED?! WE WERE LITERALLY ATTACKED BY THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THREAT WE ARE HERE FOR!! THE ENTIRE PPDF WAS MADE TO FACE THESE THINGS AND THEY WERE ALL HERE AND THAT WASN’T A PRIORITY FOR YOU?!”

As they walked Serizawa came up frantically to them. “Sirs hello yes. I finished the compound!”

“The what now?” Herc turned

“Evening Marshall. So as I reported earlier. I have devised a Synchronous Uracil Parthenogenisis Epigenetic Radiation serum that we can inject into Godzilla to stabilize his Burning and melt down forms. All it would take is a sudden spike in radiation, and my syrum to prevent Godzilla from going into a full blown melt down!”

“Fantastic. When we need it next I’ll give you a call. Right now I need to deal with the missing monsters.”

“Oh they’re all trying to find the Guardian Monsters to face Diablo. He is the devil. After all.”

“And how do you know this when I am just finding out now?” Herc demanded.

“Well the Twins told us. You know? Mothra’s Faeries? They told Shinjiro who called us to keep us updated.”

“Who the hell is Shinjiro and Faeries? Mothra has Faeries?”

“Well Shinjiro is Hiyata’s son. And Mothra’s faeries have always been around. You never noticed them? They speak for mothra, talk about and to the monsters? Have you really never noticed?”

“Okay no. there have definitely not been two little faeries just running around and me not noticing. And is Shinjiro …. You know… like his dad?”

“Yes and yes there most definitely have been two faeries running around telling us all about whats going on with Mothra and the Monsters.”

“No way. How do you expect me to believe that? Hiyata having a son sure, but Faeries? A little far fetched don’t you think?”

“We are right here Marshall.”

Herc looked down. On a small tiny cat sized Mothra sat two little tiny women.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“Marshall, what language!” The faeries exclaimed. “But we have always been here. We speak for Mothra. She has gone with Anguiras and Rodan to help Godzilla in his Fight against Grand King Ghidorah. She doesn’t think Godzilla can win on her own. Battra has gone out with one of the Ultra’s and some of your monsters to find and awaken King Ceasar. Kong was going with the rest of the monsters to face the spirit of the great dragon. Mothra was to go with them to unlock the way.. but She sensed the Return of Grand King Ghidorah. So that was a larger priority. Without Godzilla we can not protect this world from such grave threats. More foes will come. Godzilla is King. And the King must protect the kingdom. Kong will be calling to Junior to aid him now in his place. We have come to ask you to send your metal monsters to Godzilla’s aid. We know it will take time, but we hope that they may yet arrive before it is too late.”

“That is why I have sent Arashi ahead to inject Godzilla with the S.U.P.E.R formula and hit him with a small nuke to catalyze the serum. I advise we mobilize the fleet to meet up with the aircraft carrier in the Atlantic, the U.S.S Enterprise I believe it was. It is large enough to hold two of the Mecha so they can recharge on the journey to Ireland to face Diablo.”

“You authorized a nuclear strike?! DO YOU KNOW THE SHEER AMMOUNT OF POLITICAL MADNESS THAT’S GOING TO CAUSE?!” Herc paused to collect himself. “And don’t tell me how to run my men…”

“So what do you want us to do sir? In light of all this new information.” Tendo asked.

“Send everything we have to meet up with the Enterprise. Have Mecha Godzilla and MOGUERA to land on it last and recharge before attacking once that nuke clears up.”

“The nuke will have no fall out. It isn’t technically a bomb, just a liquid form of molten uranium that will be applied to Godzilla in the same device that will be injecting him as the S.U.P.E.R serum. It is just all in a bomb delivery system attached to one of the Science Patrol VTOLLs that has been equipped with the strongest shield possible.”

“So much better… Order the attack. Target This fancy Ghidorah, and then if Diablo shows up we attack him next.”