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evakteket · 7 years

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Watchlist update

December is super busy for a lot of us, and we have to admit we’re a bit behind on wips to add to the watchlist…

What’s more, there are several advent calendar fics going on now, and we’d like to draw your attention to two of them that we just haven’t had the time to put on our watchlist, so we’ll give them a shout-out here:

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas by Teatrolley (@tenderlock)

Isak og Even - en julekalender by evakyaki, @pagnilagni and @friedaechte (Norwegian)

Both of these are lovely!

And now to the usual: When it’s been more than three weeks since a fic was updated we consider it to be on hiatus and remove it from the watchlist. However, we don’t cancel our subscriptions and if one of the removed fics gets updated again, we’ll put it right back on the list.

The usual II: feel free to send us an ask if you have suggestions for fics we should check out – even if they’re not Evak-centric!

Update summary:

Completed: 3 Added: 3 Removed: 4 (crossing our fingers it’s just December and various fandom events keeping people busy)

News:

Flashback; framtid by otherstories (Swedish) NEW

Future fic set two years after Isak and Even break up. They meet again, the story interspersed with flashbacks to when they were together (some you will find in Helgen v.37 and Relativitetsteorin by the same author). As you may expect from a break up and make up fic you will get emotional. It’s well crafted, and if you can read Swedish this and the two previous fics are well worth reading. - immy

doorway back home by hippopotamus (@evenshands) NEW

Ridiculously adorable Doctor Who inspired AU, where Isak is a time traveller with a malfunctioning time/space machine who ends up in Even’s bedroom, several times from Even is a small child up until he’s grown up. You don’t need to know anything about Doctor Who to enjoy this precious, funny, a little bit bittersweet fic, so go read! - immy

Nobody Loves Me Like You by @cuteandtwisted NEW

This angsty rollercoaster of a fic features blue-haired Even, an adorable relationship between Isak and his elderly roommate (not as weird as it sounds), and a heart-crushing Isak-parallel in the young Sigve. A childhood friends AU that will get you right where it hurts, in true cuteandtwisted style. Check the warnings. - kit

glovarm/iskald by liljesmoothie (Norwegian) COMPLETED

Complete, rec here.

all i wanna do is be near by hippopotamus (@evenshands) COMPLETED

Complete, rec here.

I Tveksamhetens tid by Always_and_ever (Swedish) COMPLETED

Complete, rec here.

Still on the watchlist:

Knock Four Times by @folerdetdufoler

Yes, this is a US college AU, and yes, Even is American in it! This is extremely well written, and heavy on the angst–we won’t spoil you, but we’ll say that, as in the show, there were parts of this that were so well done they sort of hurt to read. Throw in a long distance relationship between Isak and his boyfriend back in Norway, and you’ve got a cool twist on the college AU setting that feels very realistic and really drew us in. - kit and immy

Blood vs. Water by bri_ness (@brionbroadway)

This author’s Big Brother AU was a gameplay treat, and this Survivor AU promises to be just as addictive and fun. We’re looking forward to another round of Snakesak playing the game, skilfully written nods to canon and messy relationships. There’s no need to have watched Survivor, the game is explained in the notes as you go. - immy

I skyggen av solen by Kudzibisa (Norwegian)

Charter holiday AU where Isak and Even meet on the plane. Isak is on holiday with his dad and little sister, while Even is travelling with Sonja, for one week of sun and sea and things getting in the way of spending time together. Norwegian charter tourists are perfectly portrayed in this, expect to cringe a lot if you can read Norwegian. - immy

Legitimate Expectations by @champagneleftie In this AU Isak is a lawyer specialising in matters of freedom of the press, and the setting seems wonderfully real. His life as a successful young lawyer (with some interesting SKAM character colleagues) is all neat and tidy, until there’s an Even-shaped spanner thrown in the works. Beautifully written, this is perfect for fans of grown-up Isak and Even with careers. - kit and immy

Like barn leker best by Kikki1 (Norwegian)

In this AU, student Isak has just broken up with his boyfriend, but he knows Even from school and is not a fan. Since his crap boyfriend is (mostly) out of the picture Isak needs a roommate. Enter Mikael. An engaging story featuring an annoyed and a bit weary Isak, amusing rather than angsty, and quite realistic about being a young gay man in Oslo. A very satisfying read for those who can read Norwegian. - immy

You’re my (arche)type by @evakuality

This is a fairytale AU that isn’t based on a specific story, but rather on the archetypes found in fairytales worldwide, where the interaction and characterisation is shaped by the archetypes each of the characters belongs to, and by the struggle against the confines of the archetypes. It’s an interesting and very well written take on nature vs. nurture and rigid societal structure, and the characterisation is wonderful. - immy

Hjerterytmer og ekstraslag by Without your breath (@livreddare) (Norwegian) Hospital AU where Isak is a nurse and Even is a surgeon in training at an emergency department, packed full of realistic detail and gorgeous slow burn (so far). I adore the characterisation in this, and it’s always a treat to read a well-written AU in a setting the author knows really well. If you can read Norwegian, don’t miss out on this. - immy

Forsvarlig behandling by Frieda Echte @friedaechte (Norwegian) In this hospital AU get-together, nurse Isak gets a patient (oh yes) with a somewhat annoying girlfriend (oh no) tagging along to the ED. Vividly detailed, engaging and funny, this promises to be a very special treat for those who can read Norwegian. - immy

Alphabet Aerobics by @nofeartina

Rating: explicit. And is it ever. There are 26 letters in the English alphabet, and the author has set out to write 26 chapters of pwp, one for each letter as Isak and Even play a letters sex game. And yes this is smutty, yes the plot is virtually non-existent, but there are feelings and character development as well as very well-written, imaginative smut. - kit and immy

a careful hypothesis of the heart by StMisery

This AU, while not extremely Norwegian although it’s set in Oslo, shows Isak and Even as co-workers who inch their way from quite a bit of dislike for each other towards, well, we would be very surprised if Evak isn’t endgame. Engaging and entertaining as the guys slowly make progress, and featuring an adorable Magnus. - kit and immy

#wip watchlist

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merriecana · 7 years

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Serial Cheater

[Human!AU DenNor and DenSpa Warning: Cheating Word Count: Rating: PG (Language)--This is a two part series, the second part will be rated M (; ]

I’m not sure you want to do this, Sig. Like look you don’t deserve to do this to yourself…

Sigve’s phone lit up, drawing his attention away from the uncharacteristically silent movie night he and Mikkel were having. His brows knit slightly as he skimmed the text from his coworker, his stomach flipped a moment later when his phone buzzed again.

If I didn’t think this was necessary I wouldn’t have texted you. Give me his number.

I’m not sure you want to do this, Sig. Like look you don’t deserve to do this to yourself…

Don’t just leave me on read lmao

He gave a soft snort then glanced over at Mikkel, who was watching The Lobster with rather intense concentration. Sigve found himself gazing fondly at the Dane, a fondness that was almost painful. He uncrossed his legs which were propped against the coffee table and shifted them into his boyfriend’s lap. Momentarily confused, Mikkel gave him a sideways glance then set about massaging Sigve’s foot through the thick wool socks he was wearing. Sucking in a deep breath, Sigve reveled in the normalcy of the moment before unlocking his phone and typing out his response.

If I didn’t think this was necessary I wouldn’t have texted you. Give me his number. A few minutes passed and Sigve let the movie take him away again. The way the people in the movie spoke was somewhat disconcerting upon first tuning in—constantly texting was definitely taking away from the atmosphere the filmmakers worked so hard to create, but this conversation felt so much more important. He became aware that Mikkel was looking at him after a few moments, his nerves were getting the better of him and he’d been shaking his foot in his boyfriend’s grip.

“Want me to stop?” Mikkel asked, his fingers digging into his tendon. “Mh-mhm…” Sigve gave him a soft smile. “You’re breaking your own rule, texting away on that thing,” he tossed his head towards his phone, “You doin’ alright, Sig? Something with work?”

Well, the king of excuses picked out an excuse for him, so Sigve didn’t struggle to fabricate a story about how his buddies at work were trying to plan some office get together for later that month. It didn’t take much to make it work—Mikkel didn’t seem too interested to begin with. This had been a common theme. He’d try to talk about developments in his work relationships or just office drama but Mikkel refused to take the time to learn the names of the people he was talking about and he constantly forgot the details of the prior story so there was no point. His lack of curiosity stung. It seemed that he’d just lost interest with him as a whole…

He was dragged from his self-pitying thoughts as his phone lit up again, this time with an attached contact. Toni Carriedo with the number attached. He flipped to his notes to compare the contact to the unsaved number that he’d pulled off of Mikkel’s phone. They were exactly the same. Sigve’s mouth went dry and his hands suddenly felt restless. He closed his phone and sat with his hands in his lap for a moment before staring at the TV, trying to find it in himself to get interested in the movie again.

He wanted his feet out of Mikkel’s lap. He wanted to be anywhere else but on the couch with him, and the thought that he’d be sharing a bed with him tonight was just… It was too much. After forcing himself to sit still for a solid minute, he pulled his feet back to himself and tucked them tightly under him. His face was completely still, but he felt like something was shredding his insides. Sigve wasn’t typically a crier, and this little bump in the road wasn’t going to change that about him. But… God, did this hurt. He needed space.

And with that he picked himself up and gave his boyfriend a tired smile and told him he was going to go shower then lay down; he was feeling sick.

As he stood under the hot water of the shower he let his head fall limply. Staring at his feet, Sigve tried to understand. What had changed between the two of them? Had he done something wrong or was this just something inside of Mikkel? He couldn’t parse it apart.

About a month ago, something in their 3-year relationship had changed. Mikkel switched his password on his phone and wouldn’t let Sigve in, which inherently hadn’t seemed like the worst thing in the world. Mikkel offered up some excuse that he’d read about the dangers of having someone know your codes on that snapchat, Mashable daily reading thing. Sigve had brushed it off. Then, Mikkel began to keep a closer hold on his phone.

Once, Sigve found it on the counter and went to put on some music—only to remember that he didn’t know the code anymore. Just as he was setting it down, his startled boyfriend was there. Charming as ever, Mikkel spun up something about needing to make a phone call to someone, somewhere for work. Sigve had thought nothing of it at the time and willingly handed him his phone back.

Then, their time together seemed to evaporate. Fewer dates, less time alone together, and far more alone time for Sigve. Mikkel always seemed to be out. He was working, going drinking with his friends, working late, getting more drinks, late night gym trips, he joined a cycling group… Nothing unusual for Mikkel, really. But it was just the combination of everything.

Sigve didn’t snoop. He prided himself on this. As a partner, he felt that snooping and constant checking of your partner’s phone showed signs of an unhealthy relationship. After 3 weeks of minimal contact and a wild swing from over affection to almost none, Sigve found himself feeling in need of reassurance. So, he watched Mikkel unlock his phone one day and memorized the passcode.

And if this story was a good one, Sigve would have forgotten about the code and had a direct conversation with Mikkel and addressed his issues. But that’s not what happened at all. Instead he found texts between Mikkel and some random number that spanned the past two months. At first, they started out platonic enough but the most recent ones were… Explicit to say the least. And there were photos. So many back and forths between the two men.

Sigve hadn’t noticed when he had started crying, but his nostrils were pouring mucous and the steam wasn’t making breathing any easier. He could hardly feel where his tears ended and the water ended and he liked it that way. He shifted to lean against the wall and cried. He had stuffed his feelings down far enough that he had been able to ignore them but now they were all rushing to the surface. Every sign that Mikkel was acting different came back to him and the confusion and sadness that he’d forced himself to not feel were fresh as day. He was gasping at this point. The hot water was calming usually, but the steam was making it hard for him to breathe. Gasping and snotty, Sigve’s sobs ripped out of him silently, wracking his entire frame.

The stupid man had him turned in knots. He loved him—it had been three years and Sigve was the happiest he’d ever been. Never in his life had he found someone who could make him smile quite like Mikkel. They’d known each other since they were children but it wasn’t until they were both out of college and in the working world that they realized they were in the same city. They met for coffee and the rest was history. It was the dream. It was perfect. It was wonderful…. In the beginning it was all Sigve could do to keep Mikkel. The world had so much to offer and while Sigve knew he wasn’t plain by any means, there was just so much out there. And keeping Mikkel tethered was like trying to tame a falcon: hard, but possible.

The introduction of this Toni person had, seemingly thrown the balance. And Sigve couldn’t really blame Mikkel. He’d seen the photos. The man was gorgeous. Fit, trim, tall, tanned, handsome—with a smile much like Mikkel’s own. They could have met anywhere… The gym, a bar, work… Well, Sigve had suspicions it was through the bar Mikkel made a habit of going to. His coworker, Matthew, tended to drop by there with his sister every now and again and when Sigve gave the description of the man—Toni—Matthew knew who he was talking about immediately.

He was making himself feel sick again. He needed to figure out what he was going to do.

------

Confrontations always went smoother in public, right? That’s what Sigve tried to tell himself as his anxiety spiked. It was about ten minutes into waiting that he wished he’d kept his prescription for Xanax or that it was past 3PM so he wouldn’t feel quite so terrible being in public drunk. Not that drunk, mind you. Buzzed. Something to take the edge off so he wouldn’t feel quite so… terrible.

Every brunette to enter the café made his heartrate jump up about a hundred beats per minute. By the time the proper brunette walked into the café Sigve’s poor heart was about to give out. But the second he finally saw Toni he wished he could go back to waiting for the guy to show up. He’d texted him off Mikkel’s phone and asked him to meet him here and up until now he’d never seen the man in person. He could understand why Mikkel was fucking him, he gave off this electric energy and his features were stunning.

That being said, seeing his full figure only dredged up mental images of him and Mikkel fucking or whatever it was that they did. That was what sealed the deal. Sigve’s hands and feet felt cold as he stood. He clutched his cup of coffee in shaking hands and headed towards the table Toni had seated himself at as he tapped away on his phone. Sigve loomed beside him; Toni didn’t look up.

“Ah, give me a second I’m waiting for someone--,” He glanced up to see Sigve and gave him a confused smile when he realized he wasn’t staff. “Oh, uh, sorry can I help you?” God dammit, even the way he speaks is beautiful. Sigve couldn’t help but compare Toni’s soft rolling of his r’s and tutting of his t’s to his own harsh r sounds and his morphing of t’s to d’s.

“Are you Toni Carriedo?” He felt totally numb, his brain was on auto-pilot. “Yes, I am. Antonio, but same difference. I’m sorry, do I know you?” Though he still looked confused he flashed a brilliant smile. Sigve sank into the chair across from him, earning an even more confused look. “I’m sorry, I have someone who’s coming…” He began.

Sigve shook his head until Antonio fell silent, he was beginning to look antsy. Sigve stilled himself with a sip of coffee.

“Mikkie isn’t coming.” He used the pet name with little affection and the word felt like glass in his mouth. “I don’t need to hear anything from you I just… I need you to listen to me.”

“…Alright,” Antonio looked downright concerned at this point.

Sigve sucked in a deep breath and set the coffee down on the table, his eyes trained on the stains near the rim of the cup. As he sighed it out, he felt like he was going to completely deflate. The chipper demeanor he’d been trying to sell fell away with that sigh and it lay in a heap on the ground at his feet. What was left, whatever little emotion he’d been able to knit together was all that was left.

“I don’t know,” he began, delicately licking his lips, “what it is you have with Mikkel Jensen. I don’t—I can’t know. But Antonio, this man has been the light of my life since I was a child. I… I am not a happy person. But he makes me happy. You are, I mean… You know. You wake up and see how you look. You know that you’ve got me beat in looks. You’re fit, you’re tall, you’re… You’re perfect. You could have any person man you ever wanted and all you’d have to do is pass them a wayward glance and… And they’d fall into your fucking lap.”

Sigve’s voice was low but his gaze was steady as he looked at Antonio. After a moment he let his eyes drop.

“I can easily understand how you could… You could take him. You could have anyone, Antonio.” He coughed and cleared his throat before continuing on. “I don’t want to sound too melodramatic but, Mikkel is the love of my life. And I do not think—“ his voice cracked and he quickly adverted his gaze to the lid of his coffee as he paused. “I—I’m—,” Antonio began, stumbling with words with a pain in his eyes. “Please. Just let me finish.”

They sat in silence for a moment. The bustle of the café continued on around them, but the two men seated by the window seemed frozen against the chaos.

“I’m begging you, please don’t take him just because you know you can. If what you have is… If it’s something more than simple lust—I don’t… I can’t condone it. I’m having this talk with you Antonio, because… Because my happiness hinges on whatever you decide to do. Please. Don’t take him, even though you can.”

With that, Sigve stood up abruptly. He sniffled softly and shoved his free hand into his pocket, his lukewarm coffee in the other hand.

“Hope I didn’t interrupt your day,” he said stiffly before turning to go.

“I didn’t know,” Antonio caught his elbow and Sigve visibly recoiled. Whether it was the touch or the words was unclear.

“Next time you should ask,” he spoke softly but the words came out with venom.

And with that, Sigve made his way out of the café and onto the street. He stood on the sidewalk for a moment, taking in a moment to enjoy the warm breeze that danced between the buildings. Nothing had changed about his physical appearance but he felt so… exposed. When he let go of that thick skin to Antonio he peeled completely out of it and that protection was lying in that café while Sigve was walking back to his small apartment in the outskirts of the city. He couldn’t hold back the tears that welled in his eyes, but they felt somewhat refreshing this time around. There was no running from it anymore.

A week passed and Mikkel was in a blue mood that fluctuated between depressed and angry. But there was no mention of his intervention. His moods swung far from raging—slamming cabinets and stomping through the house—to dismal—not leaving bed for hours, not speaking or returning texts—within mere hours. To anyone who didn’t know him better, it would seem like a bad week. But Sigve knew him well—it was how Mikkel dealt with rejection.

And as that mood passed, Sigve felt some semblance of hope start to come back into his chest. It hurt like hell to hope again but it was better than the alternative.

#dennor #denspa #aph denmark #aph norway #aph

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utopiedujour · 5 years

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Un gisement géant revigore l'industrie pétrolière en Norvège

Au pied de structures métalliques jaunes, des dizaines de milliards de dollars enfouis sous les fonds marins: tandis que la planète cherche désespérément à enrayer le réchauffement, un gigantesque gisement donne une nouvelle vie au secteur pétrolier en Norvège. "Enorme!", se réjouit le directeur d'Equinor pour la Norvège, Arne Sigve Nylund. from Challenges en temps réel : Économie https://ift.tt/2qJjzUF via IFTTT

#challenges #economie #IFTTT #Challenges en temps réel : Économie

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78682homes · 5 years

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Un gisement géant revigore l'industrie pétrolière en Norvège 78682 homes

http://www.78682homes.com/un-gisement-gant-revigore-lindustrie-ptrolire-en-norvge

Un gisement géant revigore l'industrie pétrolière en Norvège

Au pied de structures métalliques jaunes, des dizaines de milliards de dollars enfouis sous les fonds marins: tandis que la planète cherche désespérément à enrayer le réchauffement, un gigantesque gisement donne une nouvelle vie au secteur pétrolier en Norvège. »Enorme! », se réjouit le directeur d’Equinor pour la Norvège, Arne Sigve Nylund. « A son apogée, cela représentera 25 ou 30% de la production pétrolière totale sur le plateau continental norvégien », dit-il en faisant visiter le champ Johan …

homms2013

#Informationsanté

#Information santé

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merriecana · 7 years

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Serial Cheater: Ch. 2

[Human!AU DenNor When you find that special person, the one who you think you'll spend the rest of your life with... You'd do anything for them-anything to keep the love there, in your life... Even if that means getting on your knees and begging. Mikkel is cheating on Sigve and Sigve is trying to stop it--unconventionally. Rated Teen for language, rating will go up in third chapter. Warnings: Cheating and Language Part one is here

Find this story on AO3 here]

Sigve sat idly, tapping the end of his pen against his lips as he stared down at his notebook in front of him. His therapist had insisted he start journaling to stop him from completely bottling up his emotions and thoughts. He let out a low sigh and surveyed the page staring up at him. Bottling up was his specialty. The fact that he was majorly introverted only added to this talent of his. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel the full range of human emotions or that he didn’t know how to express himself, he just very rarely felt pressed to talk about how he felt. Which would eventually lead to…bottling up. So he did his best to write down what he was feeling at the end of his day, more to show his therapist that he was actually putting in work than anything else.

It had been two years since he’d spoken to Antonio about seeing Mikkel while the two of them had been together, and things were going swimmingly. That is, if Mikkel having found three new partners while being active on a gay dating app along with taking out of their joint banking account to finance his dates with these men and women is considered “swimmingly”.

Sigve had done his part in trying to battle off these suitors but he just got tired and so he let it go on while agonizing over the details. He knew the code to Mikkel’s phone and would check every now and again—he was getting sloppy honestly. He would just leave his phone out nowadays. It seemed like a big secret that everyone knew. Berwald, a close friend who owned a local restaurant, had reached out on multiple occasions to offer him a place to stay if he needed it. Sigve hadn’t spoken directly to Berwald about the ongoing issue, but with the history between Berwald and Mikkel it was safe to assume that Berwald had a good grasp of the problem in their relationship.

While Sigve wrote about his feelings almost nightly, he found that he kept coming back to Mikkel and his serial cheating. He would go to lengths to describe the pain that Mikkel inflicted upon him in his journal, but when it came time to speak with his therapist he would find something else to psycho-analyze about himself. He talked about his lack of social skills and his issues making friends. His therapist would then bring up the fact that he needed to be sure to be aware of codependency developing between himself and Mikkel. As soon as that was brought up he’d move on to a new topic. Body issues, stress at work, how to manage a group of individuals at work who were incredibly intelligent without talking down to them, the cons of buying a dog, his fear of falling out of trees that came from somewhere in his childhood, his major issues with the noises people made when they eat. He just kept putting it off. He kept letting their lives become more and more entangled because…

Because maybe Mikkel would see that they share a bank account and realize that Sigve received the statements. Maybe he would stop to think about how many hours he had to work to afford their apartment that they shared because they decided to make that step. Maybe, when Sigve played Mikkel’s favorite song that he hated just so they could dance together to it, Mikkel would remember telling him that the way he danced made him fall in love. Maybe Mikkel would feel how cold Sigve treated him at night. Maybe Mikkel would go to that shitty Italian place that they went to on their first date and remember that feeling of young love that they had. Maybe buying groceries that catered to both of their specific tastes would remind him… Of something. Maybe he should just stop fucking trying so hard.

He’d rationalized this thousands of times. He’d written it down in almost every journal. He’d listed hundreds of reasons that he had given Mikkel to stay with him and yet… Mikkel wandered—No. He didn’t wander. He breezed in and out of his life as if they weren’t in a 6-year long relationship. As if Sigve didn’t give him every piece of his heart in some fucked up appeasement tactic.

Hollowness swept over him the way the tide pummels the shore. For the first time in 6 long years, Sigve saw the end of the tunnel. It wasn’t going to change and it wouldn’t get better. Mikkel didn’t change for Berwald and he wouldn’t change for himself. He was wasting his life. He was accomplished—an engineer who was more than capable of being self-sufficient. He was attractive, under-valued, and on a track for lupus if his stress level remained at the level it had been throughout the past two years. His Xanax dosages had gone up while his self-esteem plummeted to lows that he hadn’t felt since highschool. He was having issues maintain friends at work because whenever anyone asked about his relationship his walls got even higher, and harder to get through. His therapist once lectured him on how “relationships are supposed to bring out the best in people” and if this was his best… Then he was shit out of luck.

“It’s gotta end… ” He mumbled to himself.

It was the first time he’d said it out loud and it broke his heart even further than it already was. He would have cried, but it wouldn’t have done anything. He realized about a year ago that crying didn’t fix anything. That, and that Mikkel was shit at comforting someone… Sigve closed his journal and glanced up at the clock. Mikkel should be home soon and the thought made his heart leap into his throat.

I guess that’s a sign, he thought apathetically, heading towards the bathroom to grab half a Xanax. Probably not the best idea, but with the rapid level that his heartrate was accelerating, he would need it to even consider talking to Mikkel tonight. And he was going to.—Do it, that is, not just consider it. He pressed his tongue firmly against his teeth, trying to quell the anxiety that was turning his stomach in knots. After a few seconds of staring blankly at the bottle in his hand he shook his head and popped it open.

Better to not let his anxiety talk for him. His anxiety was at the root of this shit and now rational Sigve was going to have to dig himself out of this mess. A tied bank account, both their names on the apartment lease, furniture that they’d bought together over the years, plans for an upcoming vacation together, the fact that their friends ran in somewhat similar circles. There was just so much to piece apart once they were done and he had no idea how to do it. He’d molded their relationship to become that intertwined so Mikkel wouldn’t just… up and leave.

He walked out into the living room and looked at all the pieces of their lives that were scattered across the room. Layers built upon layers that were going to come crashing down when Sigve confronted him. It was like the world’s most fucked up game of Jenga ever. His heart was still pounding as he let himself collapse onto the couch to wait. It would just be easier to keep going. Easier to ignore it all. Easier to have someone to call your own than be alone.

As he sat, the silence set in. This was what being alone felt like. He glanced around the cozy home and took it all in. The place was a mix of themselves—what would happen when Mikkel’s things were gone? What kind of couch would he buy that was just for himself? It was a stupid thought but even his living conditions reflected that fact that in his 26 years of living, there wasn’t really a time that he’d lived alone. And there was no reason for him to get a place with a roommate when he was earning a full salary so… He’d have to figure it out.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the door opening. If he could sink into the couch and disappear he would have, but he couldn’t. The hollow feeling in his chest wouldn’t let him. It hurt enough to be a motivation to never, ever feel like this again. And so, even though he wasn’t sure his legs would keep him upright, he stood. Mikkel gave him a slightly confused smile and maneuvered his way around the couch to wrap Sigve in a warm hug. For a second, Sigve closed his eyes and tried to ignore how tight his chest was feeling. For a second, he wanted to believe that this would pass. But as he took a deep breath he smelled perfume on him and that was it. He pulled back from the warm embrace and stared up at his partner with what he hoped was a blank face.

“You smell like perfume. Not cheap shit at least—at least you still have good tastes.”

Mikkel looked like he’d been slapped. His brows furrowed for a moment then the look melted into what Sigve called the “kicked dog” face that was Mikkel’s go to during fights.

“Must be the girl at work’s, she drowns herself in that shit—Sig what is this?” He moved to take him by the arms to pull him back close. “You know I’d never—.”

“Eight.” Sigve interrupted, taking a step back. “You’ve fucked eight separate people in the six years that we’ve been exclusive. Three women, five men. I’d give you their names but I’m under the impression that you remember them so.” He felt like he was going to be sick.

The roller coaster of emotions that Mikkel was going through was scary. Disbelief, realization, denial, to a blank stare.

“Sig, why are you doing this to yourself?” Mikkel asked, his voice a little too soft.

“Why am I doing this to myself? What exactly am I doing, Mikkie?” His voice started to shake as he finished his question. “What have I done that makes this my fault?”

“You always go and put your nose into everything, babe,” his voice was sickly sweet—understanding almost. He held out an arm with the intention of pulling Sigve into his chest. Sigve stared at the extended arm in silence.

Mikkel was terrible with silence, Sigve knew that. The longer he stood there, not looking at him, the more antsy Mikkel became. The heavier that silence became the more likely Mikkel was to start spewing bullshit excuses. Sigve wanted to hear what he had to say but he wasn’t going to beg for it.

“Sigve,” Mikkel moved closer and placed himself where Sigve had no choice but to look at him. “Aren’t you gonna say anything?”

He was going to chew a hole in his cheek before the night was over if he wasn’t careful. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding then set his jaw and stared hard into Mikkel’s face. The soft, caring expression on his face made his blood pressure rise.

“That’s really your response to me telling you that I know? You turn it on me? You give me that pitying look and tut your tongue as if I’m some curious child who’s found out that Santa isn’t real.”

“You’ve always known who I am, Sig…” Mikkel was watching him. Sigve saw the intelligence in his eyes and was once again reminded who it was that he was dealing with. Berwald called him the master manipulator.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” The blinding smile Mikkel gave him made his insides twist.

“Of course I am, Sig, that’s basically my pet name.” He laughed softly and moved both his hands up to hold Sigve’s shoulders. “You know that better than anyone, babe.” Sigve dropped his gaze for a second, he had expected some of this behavior. Just because he knew Mikkel and how Mikkel reacted to being found in the wrong. But this shit, this shit was toxic. Sigve knew that what Mikkel was doing was obvious and wrong but for some reason he still felt some guilt.

“Sig, I love you. You’ve got a beautiful heart and a wickedly sharp mind and… I’m stunned by you every day, but,” the grip on his shoulders tightened, “you really shouldn’t have snooped into my shit. You always get yourself so wound up and then I gotta come and unwind you.”

Sigve swallowed thickly. His stomach felt like a rock.

“Sigve, you’re the light of my life, you’re charming, you’ve got a wickedly sharp mind and… I’m stunned by you every day, but,” the grip on his shoulders tightened, “You should have used that pretty brain of yours and not snooped into my shit.”

Sigve swallowed thickly. It wasn’t an admission of guilt but it was on the right track. The denial was worse than an outright admission of guilt and he couldn’t quite explain why.

“You should have just left your business yours then. Spending money from the joint account on your business makes it my business. You’re my business.” His voice was low but he was spitting the words out by the end.

Mikkel’s grip tightened a little bit more and Sigve’s heart jumped into his throat praying he wasn’t about to regret his tone. And for just a second he was afraid he just might… But then Mikkel let go, sucking his teeth at him.

“It didn’t mean anything, Sigve. It was just sex.”

Sigve tilted his head to the side and his brows shot up. “And that makes it any better?”

There it was. He was free of feeling paranoid and obsessed, he had been right. He had known that he was right, of course. But hearing Mikkel admit that he’d been cheating somehow made him feel lighter. The elephant wasn’t quite so big anymore.

“It means it wasn’t important. It was just casual sex.” Mikkel’s face was unreadable. And that was scarier than shit. Throughout all of their fights, Sigve had never seen Mikkel not show his expressions on his face. Who the fuck was this?

“You don’t take your fuckbuddies on casual dates. You don’t buy the people you’re just fucking gifts. The people you’re just fucking don’t talk about you like you’re their god damn partner.”

Expression returned to Mikkel’s face as he shoved past Sigve, running a hand through his hair roughly. He paced the length of the kitchen twice before whirling on him.

“You fucking TALKED to these people? What the fuck is wrong with you. What, did you run them off? Did that make you feel big and strong, Sigve? Like you had some power over me? What else did you do, go through my phone and social shit? I bet you tailed me to work on some days.” Mikkel was yelling at this point.

Sigve was confused. He wasn’t sure what kind of reaction this was, but it had been the last thing he’d expected. His phone was on him, so he wasn’t exactly scared, but this was a side of Mikkel he rarely saw. The way he was pacing made him look deranged, like he was ready to fly into a rage at any second. He pulled out his phone without taking his eyes off Mikkel was was now watching him intently.

“Oh so now you’re just going to sit there silent. Where’s my fucking answer?”

Come get me from the apartment right now

Sigve typed the message without looking to the best of his ability. He shook his head at Mikkel, his jaw still set, and hit send.

“What answer do you deserve, Mikkel?”

Riled up, Mikkel puffed out his chest, “I deserve--,” he began before Sigve cut him off.

“You deserve nothing more from me.” With that he made a beeline for the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

With his back pressed against the cool wood he waited, heart thundering in his ears. He waited to see if Mikkel was coming in after him for a good minute before pushing off the door and grabbing a duffel bag and packing. His thoughts were racing. Why hadn’t he packed this earlier?—Probably some part of him wanted Mikkel to laugh off the accusations and give him a good excuse. One that he could believe so the two of them could go back to being together.

He laughed softly at himself and grabbed an assortment of his clothes and shoved them into the bag. There was some clattering in the kitchen. Sigve went back to chewing on the insides of his cheeks. Hopefully Mikkel was an adult enough to not throw out his things if he left… He couldn’t let himself go there, honestly. He rested his hand on the handle to the bathroom and took a deep breath, really hoping Mikkel wouldn’t be in there when he opened the door.

Upon entering, he let out a sigh of relief when he saw it was empty. At least he could get his medicine so he didn’t melt down as soon as he left. He grabbed as much of his stuff from the bathroom as he could. Just as he was loading it into his bag his phone went off. Berwald finally texted back.

Finally, he thought, once again laughing at himself. It had been about three minutes since he sent the text and considering the fact that Berwald was likely at work the response was pretty timely. He shouldered the bag and opened his phone to read the text.

I’ll be there in 6, sorry I can’t make it sooner I’m walking out now

Sigve’s chest felt a bit lighter. He didn’t have a ton of ride or die’s, but at the moment he felt like he did. He at the very least knew someone would be there soon if Mikkel decided to try anything. With that thought in mind he zipped his bag and stepped out into the hallway that led to the living room and kitchen. He steeled himself then headed for the door.

Mikkel was sprawled on the couch, a drink in hand, staring blankly at the wall, pulling angrily from the glass every few minutes. The guy had a pretty high tolerance, so Sigve didn’t have to worry about his drunken belligerence—not for now at least. He planned on just walking past him and leaving but he realized he needed his keys to get back in and get his shit. They were hanging right by the television which was, as fate would have it, right in Mikkel’s line of sight.

He grabbed the keys as quickly as he could, but he still felt Mikkel’s eyes on him. He felt some kind of wild guilt, as if Mikkel looking put out and sad was something he should be worried about. He swallowed and tried to push away the feeling. But Mikkel’s low voice cut through the tension filled silence before Sigve reached the door.

“So that’s it? Six years down the drain just like that? No goodbye, just walking out the door.” Sigve stared at the door in front of him for a second before glancing back to look at him. Mikkel hadn’t moved.

“You threw it down the drain the second you fucked someone else.” “I still love you, Sigve.” He sounded hurt. “That’s too bad, Mikkie,” Sigve said wrly, opening the door. “Because I fucking hate you.”

With that, he stepped out into the warm summer night. The background noise of the city swept him up and set him at peace. Even with his life in pieces, the city was still alive. He was still alive—alone and alive.

A gasp of a sob ripped through him as he made his way down the stairs to wait for Berwald to pick him up. This time, the tears felt cleansing. Things felt like they were going to get better. He didn’t feel whole, but maybe that would come with time.

#aph #hetalia #aph denmark #aph norway #aph sweden #(eventually he'll be more a part of it don't worry)

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