#SIXTY THREE DAYS I CAN WAIT SIXTY THREE DAYS DAILY AFFIRMATIONS

[scwheeler]

🏹🩰 ˖ ࣪⊹ — lost & confused

pairing: mike wheeler x reader

summary: after an embarrassing confession on one summer day, you decide it’s best to avoid mike but unfortunately mother nature is not on your side

warnings: angst to fluff 😊😊

age of pairing: 14-15

“bet ten bucks that you can’t do two somersaults in the water without coming up to take a breath!” max challenged you and lucas. “oh i hope you have your piggy bank with you cause you’re gonna have to pay up,” you answered with a sly smile and eyebrow raise.

“double that!” lucas continued, taking her hand into his and kissing her on the cheek. they always did small things like that in front of you and the others and you didn’t really mind because you were a strong supporter of lumax but you were always slightly jealous of their relationship.

the whole party saw it coming though, the moment lucas and max kissed at the snow ball it was established that they were head over heels for each other. so you were jealous of that fact rather than their relationship in a whole. how they just magically knew they loved each other without lots of words.

it’s been three years. three damn years that you waited for mike wheeler to do the same to you. to just say those three words that would make you the happiest person in this universe. in most situations people would say, ‘how do you expect him to read your mind!?’ or ‘just tell him first!’

but that’s just what you did.

you were so over it. it’s been forever since the two of you became friends and three years since you started to fall for him. something about him just made you feel so attracted to him and you wished that somewhere deep down he thought the same. but even if he did, he hadn’t told you or even given you some type of signal to let you know. so you did it instead.

you marched right up to the wheeler’s residence and knocked on their front door. mike opened it and thought nothing else since you’ve done it a million times but he saw your face was worried and nervous.

he asked you what was wrong and opened up your mouth to say what you wanted to for the past three years but nothing came out. there was an awkward silence to which mike was just confused. you came over with a concerned look and all you did was sit on his bed and stare at your hands.

he was about to ask you what was wrong again but instead you abruptly stood up and told him. you told him you loved him. and always have, probably always will. and he sat there listening to your confession.

but that’s all he did.

you poured your heart and soul into a monologue about how you’ve fallen for him. hard. but he just stared at you with those brown doe eyes that melted your heart daily.

you waited for his response. anything. words or actions, you would take anything at this point. rejection or affirmation. but all he said was “oh.” and not the “oh goody, cookies!” type of “oh” but the “oh i’m stuck sitting with her,” type of “oh.”

he didn’t say anything else and you panicked, running out of the room and his house. you quickly got on your bike and rushed home. he didn’t call after you or moved from his stance. even days after, he didn’t call and after about a week, you saw him for a group hangout at the movies.

you were stuck sitting beside him but before, during, or after the movie, no words were exchanged. he talked to others and you did the same but never with each other.

it was different. a different feeling you had for mike now.

“how about you earn that ten bucks right now, but only if you can beat me to the lake!” max affirmed and she started sprinting straight along the path towards the lake. “oh no you don’t!” lucas shouted behind her and followed.

they ran right past dustin and el talking about the arcade. dustin was explaining how he was a level sixty wizard for one of the games and best there was. el probably didn’t even know what he was talking about but as the sweetheart she is, she just nodded and smiled.

walking past them too, you made your way to will and mike. “no way dude doritos are much better and lays are just overrated!” mike argued, putting his arms in frustration. will just rolled his eyes as he became the bigger man and accepted defeat.

“this isn’t over,” will said proudly and turned to intervene in dustin and el’s conversation. you stared down at the dirt and small bushes brushing against your ankles. your mom was right to warn you about getting poison ivy rashes and urging you to wear long pants but it was the hot summer so you just wore your sneakers and jean shorts with a bikini top.

since you guys were going swimming you decided to just wear your swimsuit with some shorts because you wanted to get into the cool water as soon as possible. “you should’ve worn long pants you know,” mike uttered and moved his eyes from the ground to your ankles.

“what like you’re my mom now?” you retorted, quickly turning around and joining in on the others’ conversation. you were frustrated with mike. was that all he could say after weeks and weeks of not talking to you?

could he not be a decent human being and bring up the day at least a little. but it might’ve been for the best at this point. you decided to forget about it and mike seemed to never acknowledge it in the first place. no one else knew about your confession and you planned on keeping it that way.

after a few minutes of walking, you were stuck walking next to mike once again. alone. it was all fine because you enjoyed the silence. it wasn’t awkward silence to you since you were used to it already. the others joked and laughed which you joined in on but you never heard mike laugh or even speak once during the rest of the walk.

that was until he grabbed your arm and pulled you behind the others for a moment. “hey,” he muttered. you rolled your eyes and pulled away but he grabbed onto you shoulder nonetheless. “god what do you want, wheeler?!” you snapped, turning around and getting away from his grip.

he pulled his hand away but was glad you were hearing him out, “y/n, i was thinking about that day.” as soon as you heard that, you were done with this stupid conversation and stomped away. unfortunately mother nature was not on your side that day and decided to place a tree root right in front of your left foot, making you trip and fall right onto your face.

“ow fuck,” you whispered, carefully picking yourself off the ground. mike didn’t hesitate to help you off the ground. but you swatted his hands away, “im fine.” but you weren’t and mike could clearly see that.

since you didn’t follow your moms orders, your ankle was left partly bruised and cut due to the sharp branches sticking out of the root. you stood up and tried to walk away but it hurt like a bitch. though couldn’t complain mike now, could you?

before you could turn and ask him to help you, he came from behind and put one of your arms on behind his shoulder. holding you up somewhat and grasping onto your waist. your blood tan cold for a minute. mike had never gotten so close to you, at least for the last few weeks.

“see you’re not fine y/n,” mike insisted and helped you walk a few steps with you whispering ‘ow’ every step. “here we’ll follow the rest of the group a little later, let’s sit you down right here,” and he assisted you towards a log nearby. even with your resistance, he helped you sit on the log and take a breather which was actually nice.

the forest wasn’t so bad and mike wheeler wasn’t either.

there was a silence though after both you sat onto the log. your windows your thumbs and he looked at the path, to see your friends disappear into the woods. “so…um thanks for helping me. you didn’t have to,” you asserted and he turned to stare right at you.

with those same brown shining doe eyes that made you melt on the spot. like he had done on that summer day. but this time, he actually said something, “yeah no problem, it’s actually good we’re sitting alone because i wanted to talk to you. about you know.”

you knew exactly what he was babbling about but you wished you didn’t. you opened his mouth to continue but stopped himself for a moment. so you spoke instead, “we don’t have to. like we could just for—”

but he interrupted your sentence, “—no. i don’t want to and i cant forget it. listen y/n, ever since you ran out of my house and wouldn’t talk to me, it’s been the worst weeks ever. i just want to talk, and apologize. i know you didn’t expect me to just sit there like an idiot and i’m sorry. it was stupid and i—i just didn’t know what to do!” he rambled on putting his arms up for emphasis and standing up.

you stood up, ignoring the sharp pain shooting through your left leg. mike huffed and avoided your stare. you looked his side profile, more like observing. you never realized he had a small scar on his neck. it must’ve been during the weeks you two weren’t speaking.

for a minute you didn’t know what to say, but there was only one thing that came to mind. “mike, i love you.”

he didn’t say anything but turned his head to face you. was he going to just stand there like a dummy like last time? you instantly regretted it and was going to say something like ‘nevermind’ or run away but mike beat you to it.

“i love you too y/n.”

[noragoldengaze]

Backlog

Daily Affirmation: I can make lemonade from lemons.

Today’s Lesson: Snitches get stitches.

Tomorrow I will be better by: Altering plans as needed.

Let’s try something different with my random thoughts.

Work Related

There is sixty million gil wandering around the company building. I could do a lot with sixty million gil, but Cindri said no. I debated finding a way to get the money anyway with a corpse that looked a bit like Aelred, but the Brass Blades likely has a way to check for those kinds of things. Damn. Sixty million. What is the phrase? Keep your friends and enemies rich and wait to find out which is which. I wonder how these following days will treat him. A pity his relationships with the others are weak. When the opportunity to free him from this situation arose, the group collectively decided to let him fend for himself due to his treatment of them. Would he ever see it that way? That his manner towards others lead him to this fate? I wonder what we are to him and his wife-to-be. I don’t feel comradery there, only rivalry. It saddens my heart and leaves me feeling heavy. Are there possible paths to fix this, or are the pillars of pride and self-importance so unbending that it all will sink? I feel pity for what may come. Three months and I will have the answer to the bet I laid on the table. We shall see.

My quest for a bigger property continues. There is some inner debate I have about what to do with the larger space. I considered a living space above to call my own, but the first night alone in my apartment remains present. Something to consider later on down the road. Either way, the bar needs to expand and I currently have a safe place to lay my head and watch the fire burn before nodding off.

Interpersonal Relationships

I think it's good that everyone is positive around Cindri. They seek him for advice and spending time with him in general. I remember a time when he felt sure everyone was in some way conspiring against him. Well, everyone would be something I would do. For him it would be a few key figures with supportive players. So the talks may be helping with that. Or not. I trust him when he says something, but I always look at him with the sensation that the water on the surface hides the torrents under.

Torrents under calm surfaces. I suppose that can be a way to describe my lessons with Shey so far. Not that I resent Kedha for volunteering me to assist with Shey’s acclimation into the company, but the process is making me wonder how sympathetic I am to people and how often I play the part so everyone can feel at ease. How much of it is true from me and the rest an act? Where does that line rest? Best for me to know so I can explain it when the question arises. The lessons with Shey are not poor and she is learning. There is also a great deal about herself that I am seeing. How would others respond to her if they knew of her past? Very curious how steadfast first impressions will be held against Shey. Rebuilding trust is the hardest task we can do.

Sometimes I am not sure if I want to hug Tyl or throw her out the window. I haven't been embarrassed like that since I was fifteen. Not that her “are you two freking yet’ question came from a bad place. The following conversation had some productive aspects and points. But still. Maybe if she really knew him and the things he had gone through, she would understand. I could explain it, but I hate discussing someone else’s business. It’s never my place to share the details of another life. Where is the middle ground on that?

I value the time we spend together, but I worry about smothering him.

Cindri mentioned that he destroyed his sedative to me the other day. I wasn’t sure what to say to that and I will quietly fret in the coming weeks to months. There is very little I know of that product and its side effects. So far he seems to be grounded and fully aware. We talked about getting out of the area for a few days, but no set date on that. The idea that things will remain calm if we aren’t around to overwatch the company from our end seems a fairytale. Or maybe I have a lack of trust in the company to not accidentally stab themselves without supervision. If Cindri and I were to take our leave of work here, how would they adjust? I’d rather be part of the machine rather than the binding agent that keeps it together. Ryslo can keep that role.

Sheep, Sheepdogs, Wolves

Lenoria has gone from a promising actor to a figure of concern. There is an abundant amount of energy and motivation to take action, but she lacks a logistical foundation. I also am concerned for her moral compass. The other day when I tried to coach her through the planning stages of how to destroy the ‘kitchen’ she was very quick to jump to burning the building down and also unremorseful of the innocent souls within. Maybe the weight of that consequence isn’t something she has fully registered or I could be working with a sweeter version of Hilda. Both are not pleasant considerations. And I would feel doubly bad if the latter was true since I did nudge her towards Heinrich. Maybe I should leave that kind of meddling to Ryslo.

But worse than that, she’s gone and babbled part of what is happening to Ryslo. I cannot wrap my head around seeing how I was clear that informing him of anything was out of the question. And the lack of discretion that followed afterward is concerning. For she had a conversation with Cindri about the nature of the route and with Grand? Grand had little issue projecting his thoughts abstractly on the matter while we were on a company mission. Good Weaver, what did this have to happen. I have yet to have my talk with her. I doubt I will be the last to speak to her on the matter. She'll be bench from the bigger task at hand and do a bit of homework to reflect and process what this path she is on really means. I make the cookies and take them away.

Ryslo will come for me at some point. All clues will lead back to me even if at the moment I seem to have no direct influence on what is happening. By that point, I will be honest with him about the events related to Pearl Lane, but only because I hope to have it all concluded by then.

I need to reach out to Lana.

Other

My fingers are protesting the lute practice. The amount of times I strike a note wrong is irritating and humbling. I went from trying to play a song I used to do from memory to sticking to simple lullabies. I’m happy the troupe isn’t here to see this disgrace.

My mentor at the college doesn’t bother speaking to me. He leaves a to-do list for me to do. Sometimes it is making house calls or other times it is taking care of paperwork and backend work for him. I don’t dislike the arrangement, but I wonder how I will grow from this moment. Cindri does an amazing job at self-study. I should be just as motivated to pick up new skills, but a worry nags at me. Mayhaps I should consider regression to the older ways. There is so much to protect.

So far I have dabbled with the ink and parchment of this story and I am conflicted. Where do I really start a tale? How far back is too back? My father would have his plays start with a moment of action, throwing the audience into a situation with questions slowly answered in the first scene. But maybe it doesn’t matter. This is supposed to be for me. My way of coping.

I guess I’ll start it at the beginning and play around with the rest.

Next Steps

Resume my prior working routine.

Speak with Cota

Bench Lenoria

Find time to sneak away.

[dalyunministry]

Pastor. Johnraj Lamech,

India.

Greetings in the matchless Name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Topic: The Motive for Spiritual Growth & the blessings of intimacy with Jesus Christ.

Rhema Word : Romans 8:15 (NKJV) “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

Let’s pray. Our Gracious Loving Father, thank you for giving us an opportunity to meditate your Word today. Thank you Holy Spirit for helping us to understand your Words which are living and active. Please help us to live a life as per your Word Lord. We give all the Glory and Honour to you only Lord. We pray in the mighty Name of your beloved Son Jesus Christ. Amen.

Let us try to explore and understand ”The Motive for Spiritual Growth & the blessings of intimacy with Jesus Christ” today:

What best motivates a child to want to be like his parents? Is it affirmation and respect or fear of rejection and guilt? Obviously, the children who are affirmed and feel secure will be the ones who most walk of their parents. The same principle is true in the spiritual realm. Using wrong motivations encourage believers to pursue intimacy with Christ – fear, guilt, or manipulation – may seem to gain quick results, but those results do not last.

Please note even spiritual disciplines such as prayer, fasting, and Bible study, which are vital, can often result in legalism, pride, insecurity, or morbid introspection if pursued with the wrong motivation.

The knowledge of God’s deep affection and of our full acceptance as His beloved children is the best motivation for consistent spiritual growth. As Paul explained to the Roman believers in Romans 8:15 “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

Our spirits cry for more of Him when we begin to grasp the implications of being adopted as His children. Being rooted and grounded in the Father’s love is what best motivates us to greater consistency, spiritual passion, and maturity. As we being to understand the Father’s affection and the price Jesus paid to redeem us, our hearts melt with gratitude that leads to devotion.

As you and I pursue intimacy with Jesus, it will become apparent that we are God’s royal children. We will manifest our family’s likeness by conforming to Christ. We will seek to further our family’s welfare by loving our brethren. We will maintain our family’s honour by avoiding what our Father hates, pursuing what He loves, and seeking His glory. As we cultivate intimacy with Jesus, out of the riches of His glory we will be “strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man” (Ephesians 3:16).

I admire Enoch’s 300 years of walk with God - the Bible says in Genesis 5:22-24 “Then Enoch walked with God three hundred years after he became the father of Methuselah, and he had other sons and daughters. So all the days of Enoch were three hundred and sixty-five years. Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him.” Yes, God could reveal to him about Jesus’ second coming as Jude says in Verses 14-15 “It was also about these men that Enoch, in the seventh generation from Adam, prophesied, saying, “Behold, the Lord came with many thousands of His holy ones, to execute judgment upon all, and to convict all the ungodly of all their ungodly deeds which they have done in an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things which ungodly sinners have spoken against Him.” What a wonderful experience we will also have if we pursue intimacy with our Lord Jesus Christ?

Let us try to understand what are the blessings of intimacy with Jesus Christ we get?

The first step toward experiencing intimacy with Jesus is our decision to pursue Him more than we pursue other good things, such as anointing in ministry, personal happiness and success. When we set our hearts to seek the Lord, our lives will begin to change in many ways. Here are a few:

1] A focus on intimacy washes our hearts:

Jesus loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Paul while writing to Ephesians says in Ephesians 5:26-27 “that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”

Just as you or I need a daily physical bath, we also need a daily spiritual bath to remove some of the “grime” and defilement. If the grime is allowed to accumulate, it will lead to spiritual dullness and insensitivity in our spirits. Inner corruption such as anger, slander, impatience, and sensuality grieves the Holy Spirit and makes our spirits insensitive and unable to respond fully to Him.

When we fix our hearts on the Person of Jesus and dialogue with Him, the Word of God washes our spirits. Defilement from our daily contact with a fallen world is cleansed away. In Bible study, we store up important scriptural facts and concepts. But when our Bible study leads into personal dialogue with Jesus as we meditate upon His cleansing Word, we also experience growth in spiritual hunger, sensitivity, and nearness to Him. Yes, active intimacy with His presence washes our spirits.

2] A focus on intimacy protects our souls:

We will never be empowered to walk in purity without the foundation of affection for Jesus. External disciplines and commitments to high standards of holiness without a living devotion for Jesus have little real power or life in them. A Person named Jesus – not rules and regulations- guards our souls. As affection for Jesus is increased in our hearts, we find a new empowering to resist temptation.

Let me share an example: When passion for Jesus is built into your spiritual foundation, it repels sensual communication that others may send your way. It returns the message, “No, I’m not available.” That strong , clear message rises from within your spirit.

We are filled with such longing for Jesus that we have greater resolve to repel sensuality and resist wrong relationships. It is not a matter of being afraid that we might be shamed and lose honour, position, privileges or even the anointing in our ministry. It is more than that because our hearts are shielded by our love for Jesus.

Remember, the glory of the church is in our cleanliness, our purity. The soul aggressively engaged in pursuing intimacy with JESUS is positioned to overcome temptation.

In our pursuit of intimacy with Jesus, we realize that feelings will come and go, sometimes swinging from the highs of holy passion to the lows of spiritual barrenness. We will have seasons of fervent longing and love for Jesus, times when we pray with great feeling and inspiration. But we will also experience seasons when we pray without any feeling of God’s presence. Yet, as we persist, we will begin to realize that even in the dry, barren seasons our hearts are still growing in mature love toward Jesus. Our focus is on Jesus and NOT upon feelings that come and go.

As Paul declares, “The greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13). Love is the greatest motive. It is our greatest strength, joy, protection and perseverance. The breastplate of Christ’s love for us and our love for Him is the greatest piece of our spiritual armour.

3] A focus on intimacy motivates and inflames our hearts:

Paul declares in Galatians 6:7-8 “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”

When we sow to the Spirit, we expose ourselves to the presence of God whether we feel it or not. As focusing upon Him becomes the habit of our souls, we receive a greater release of life in our hearts.

The Lord invited the bride to position herself before Him that He might manifest Himself as a seal of fiery love on her heart as we see in Songs of Solomon 8:6 “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave; its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame.”

God’s holy flame is relentless and consuming. It will eventually ignite one focused on Jesus with emotions of love for Him. However, if we are too busy to ask Him for this and to wait before Him for it, then this flame will be diminished. It is important that we understand this principle.

Also, we must understand that even though our careless living causes this flame of the Spirit to die down in our hearts, this does not mean God’s love has decreased toward us. We should refuse to believe the subtle lie of the enemy that says God’s love for us goes up and down with our own vacillating spiritual feelings and attainments. The flame we are referring here does not represent God’s love and affection for us; rather, it represents the passion and zeal that He imparts in us for His Son. We can lose our passion for Jesus without losing God’s love for us.

4] A focus on intimacy satisfies our hearts:

Intimacy with Jesus is the context in which the deep longing in our hearts for more of Him is progressively satisfied. Nothing but an intimate relationship with Jesus will satisfy this inner cry birthed by the Holy Spirit.

God wants intimacy with you. Christ has done all the hard work in the cross to make it possible. All he requires is that you believe in him (John 14:1). He wants you to trust him with all your heart (Proverbs 3:5). Which means his invitation to you to enjoy intimacy with him is the providences in your life that are testing your faith more than anything else. What you must trust God most for right now is where he means for you to draw closer to him.

The secret to drawing near to God and having him draw near to us is revealed clearly in the Bible: we draw near to God through faith in Christ who alone gives us access to him (Hebrews 4:14–16; 7:25; Philippians 3:9), and we put our trust in all of “his precious and very great promises” which find their Yes to us in Christ (2 Peter 1:4; 2 Corinthians 1:20).

Remember, the Holy Spirit may give spiritual gifts to believers and release His power through us, but these things do not ultimately satisfy the desire in our hearts for more of God. When our spiritual hunger is not being satisfied, we will experience frustrating spiritual boredom and restlessness.

5] A focus on intimacy frees us from insecurity and fear of man:

Intimacy with Jesus brings a deepened security and rest in our inner man. As we interact in a deeply personal way with Him, we grow in our knowledge that we are accepted and cherished by God. This knowledge progressively frees us from feelings of insecurity and the intimidating, paralyzing fear of others’ opinions or actions against us.

King David was a man after God’s heart (1 Samuel 13:14). When he was living with the Philistines, says from his heart in Psalms 34:1-8 “I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; The humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, and delivers them. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!” Yes, our intimacy with Jesus frees us from insecurity and fear of man, like, David who enjoyed this in his life.

Remember, a focus on Jesus ultimately leads us to an increased knowledge of His heart of affirmation for us. It is the knowledge that we are loved, accepted, and valued by God that gives us a greater sense of value and self-worth. When we are secure and confident in God’s love, we grow out of our fears related to how people receive and treat us.

6] A focus on intimacy heals inner wounds of the heart:

I’m talking about spiritual wounds. The negative spiritual effects of painful physical events, particularly chronic ones we’ve pushed so far down it seemed like they’d healed—only to find out they hadn’t.

How about you? Has betrayal, rejection, sin, loss, or abuse cut you to your core? And are the wounds still open?

The Great Physician, Jesus Christ, can completely heal our broken heart and bind up our wounds, healing and making us whole. But, just as with any physical wound, we have a role to play in our healing. There are steps The Healer would have us take to partner with Him in our recovery and restoration. Yes, sometimes God chooses to work a miracle in our lives, healing us immediately of the pain and completely shutting up our wounds for good. It can happen! However, for many of us, spiritual healing will be a process. And, honestly, it wouldn’t be fair of me to tell you that these three steps are easy-peasy, that healing will happen overnight, or that you’ll never receive any more wounds.

3 Biblical Steps to Spiritual Healing:

But, I can tell you that, though it may take longer than we’d like, through God’s grace and mercy it is possible to have our once-and-for-all healing of the spirit.

STEP 1: CLEANSE THE WOUND:

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (NKJV)

As with any physical wound, spiritual wounds must be thoroughly cleansed in order to prepare for complete healing. And that can really be a painful process. Our cleansing starts with prayer. We must come to Him, earnestly asking in faith that He heals us and makes us whole. And we must be willing to receive our healing.

Though most spiritual wounds are caused by others, we ourselves can be the cause of our spiritual damage. No matter the cause, unforgiveness is at the root. We must ask God to help us forgive those who’ve hurt us (even if that means asking Him to help us forgive ourselves). Forgiveness is a choice that has to be made to break the cycle of chronic spiritual debilitation and bondage.

When we forgive, we purge bitterness, strife, resentfulness, hurt, anger, guilt, self-pity—toxins that otherwise would negatively affect the wound and hinder its ability to completely heal. This cleansing prepares us for our long-awaited, complete healing. Make the choice to forgive. It’s time to finally be healed.

STEP 2: PROTECT THE WOUND:

He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 (NKJV)

Just as we bandage our physical wound for protection from germs and things around that could do further harm, spiritual wounds must be guarded from outside forces that would slow or stop the healing, even cause more injury. While trusting that God is doing His part to bind up our wounds and ultimately heal us, we can help by vigilantly protecting our wounds.

How? By the renewing of the mind. Paul explains this in Romans 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

You might ask what the mind has to do with a spiritual wound? I’d argue that’s exactly where the spiritual wound’s hold over you is housed. Sure, your everything hurts from what’s been wrongly done to you or because of the self-inflicted pain. And it’s our fleshly desire to become mired in self-pity. However, when we focus on our own pain, we open ourselves up to the enemy because we’re then dwelling on the hurt instead of believing in the healing. But we can come against him by focusing on the things of God and what He’d have us do while awaiting our healing.

The last thing the evil one wants is for us to get our eyes and mind off of self and start ministering to others in Christ’s name. So guess what? That’s exactly what we must do!

STEP 3: MONITOR THE WOUND:

Peter cautions us in 1 Peter 5:8 ”Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

No different than any physical injury, when our spiritual wounds aren’t closely monitored, we run the risk of infection. Infection can quickly spread to the rest of our lives, poisoning our faith and our relationship with Jesus and with others. When this happens, we’re destined for more of the same—more chronic spiritual wounds and the inability to experience liberty in Christ.

Remember, the enemy would love nothing more than for us to keep dwelling on the injustice that we’ve endured, to infect us with more anger, hurt, and doubt of our own healing. This is how he attempts to talk us out of surrendering our pain to God so that we would receive healing. He knows that when our wounds are truly healed that we’ll give glory to God and no longer be in bondage to him.

For our wounds to heal completely, we not only have to continue the process of cleansing and protecting until they become scars, we have to monitor our wounds, closely examining them for the first signs of infection. If you’ve been suffering from a chronic spiritual wound and doing your best to hide it—even from God—it’s time to ask for healing. Confess any unforgiveness, and lay your pain at His feet. Trust the Great Physician for healing.

Then ready yourself, my friend, to proudly wear your scar as a beautiful badge, a testimony to Him. For by The Master Surgeon’s hands, your wounds have been closed!

7] A focus on intimacy is an effective means of spiritual warfare:

Our greatest strength in spiritual warfare is also found in experiencing passion for Jesus. The enemy’s strategy is to shift us from an offensive mode into a defensive mode where we are attempting to ward off temptation through sheer willpower and resolution. He fears offensive Christianity that pursues the Person of Jesus and lives by the power of regular encounters with Jesus. I call this active intimacy with God. If Satan can separate us from our passion, then we become passive and aimless-easy prey for sin.

Let us look at two spiritual principles illustrating the wisdom of maintaining an offensive posture when dealing with the enemy: [i] the principle of increasing and decreasing, and [ii] the principle of light and darkness.

[i] The Principle of increasing and decreasing:

John the Baptist said about Jesus, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). This principle can be applied outside of its original context where John was allowing Jesus’ ministry to replace his own. It also applies to how we grow spiritually as individuals. A proactive increase in our knowledge of God comes before we have the power to decrease in our bondage to darkness. That’s God’s divine order.

Trying to decrease in sin when Jesus has not first increased within us is difficult and ineffective. Once the knowledge of God’s personality begins to penetrate our hearts, it has a sanctifying, transforming impact on our emotions. As Jesus become more real to us, the inevitable result is a desire to give ourselves more to Him and to decrease those things in our lives that are working in opposition to Him.

[ii] The Principle of Light and Darkness:

We best combat spiritual darkness in our lives by receiving more spiritual light! John speaks of Jesus in terms of light: “In Him was life, and the life was the light of men” (John 1:4). John continues in verse 5, “And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.”

John was declaring a very powerful spiritual principle: darkness cannot comprehend, and darkness cannot overpower light. Darkness is driven out of our heart by the entrance of the light of the revelation of Jesus. No darkness in the life of a sincere believer has the power to overpower the experience of God’s light or revelation.

Remember, attempting to drive the darkness out of our hearts by ourselves is frustrating and futile, but when the person of Jesus is unveiled to our hearts, that is when His light enters our hearts and the darkness flees.

Satan is not intimidated by the boasts of believers who do not have an intimate relationship with Jesus. He knows that as long as darkness reigns unchallenged and unconquered in many areas of their own lives, those believers pose no real threat to his kingdom. JESUS is the ONE whom Satan fears.

Paul cautions us in 2 Corinthians 11:3 “But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.”

Remember, Satan flees before the sword of the Spirit when it is wielded by men and women who have a secret history in God of intimacy, faithfulness and obedience. A focus on intimacy is an effective means of equipping us for spiritual warfare, for Satan is hindered by passion for Jesus, purity and persevering prayer.

Yes, when we focus on intimacy with Jesus, we will be rewarded and enriched by the release of these seven supernatural benefits in our lives:

1] Our spirits will be washed from defilement by the Word of God.

2] Our souls will be strengthened against temptation by the breastplate of faith and love affecting our emotions.

3] Our inner man will be motivated and inflamed by a release of divine hunger and zeal as our spirits are exposed to Jesus’ flaming heart.

4] The deep cry in our spirits for intimacy with Jesus will be satisfied.

5] We will be freed from insecurity and the fear of man.

6] Inner wounds of the heart will be healed.

7] We will be equipped for spiritual warfare.

The choices are clear-cut: Passion or Passivity? Victor or Victim? Blessings or Barrenness?

Yes, intimacy does not come accidently. Intimacy comes through the hunger and yearning of our hearts and through sowing to the Spirit. As we hunger and thirst for Jesus, seeking Him and spending time in His presence, we grow more in love with HIM.

Let us examine ourselves. How is our intimacy with our Lord Jesus Christ?

Shall we start our “intimate walk with Jesus” from today like Enoch?

Let us Pray: Heavenly Gracious Father, we thank you for helping us to understand about “The Motive for Spiritual Growth and the blessings of intimacy with Jesus Christ.” Please help us to get the knowledge of God’s deep affection and of our full acceptance as His beloved children which is the best motivation for consistent spiritual growth Lord. Yes Lord, we did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but we have received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father” by what your beloved Son Jesus Christ accomplished on the cross of Calvary. Thank you Holy Spirit for helping us to anchor our belief on the finished work of Jesus Christ and inherit the blessings of having an intimate relation with Him Lord. We give all praise, glory and honour to your Holy Name Lord. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

God bless you all..

[join-the-joywrite]

Women in War -- 9

All Maggie Maravillla ever wanted was to help people. She never imagined losing damn near everything when winning a war.

WiW masterpost

Chapter 9

"Dernier, Jones, I swear on Bucky's life, I'm not going to try to shoot up the factory if you let me out for cell-hopping."

The two men in the cell eyed Maggie warily.

"You believe her, Dugan?" Gabe Jones called out.

From three cells away, Dugan yelled back an affirmation. "Doc's making rounds again, folks, call out!"

"Ready when you are, gentlemen."

Once Maggie was up on the top, she waited for a call. She made three visits before she heard someone enter. "Putain de merde," she hissed, making a beeline for the first cell. She was hanging from the bars when she heard a body fall. Maggie pulled herself up and squinted in the dark. When she realised it was Becky who had dropped a Hydra soldier, she squeaked in surprise and slipped.

"Doc!"

She fell right onto Dugan and Falsworth.

"Get me back up there!"

"Maggie?"

Maggie looked up, as did the soldiers in the cell.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Falsworth asked.

"Uh . . . I'm Captain America."

"I beg your pardon?"

Maggie stopped trying to convince Dugan and Falsworth to get her back up when Becky suddenly appeared in front of the gate with a key. "Mags! Oh, thank God, you're alive!"

"Beck, what are you doing here?"

"Beck?" Dugan repeated as Becky opened the gate. "Becky Barnes?"

"Agent Barnes, soldier. Who are you?"

"Sergeant Dugan, with the sixty-ninth infantry."

Maggie let go of Becky as she recognised the man walking up to them. "Steve Rogers, is that you?"

"Mags," Steve said, returning her hug.

"So it really worked, then? The serum?"

"Still getting used to all the . . . abilities."

"That's natural."

"Where Bucky?" Becky asked.

"We think he's in the isolation ward," Maggie said as Dugan took the keys and went down the rows, unlocking every cell. "No one ever comes out of there. Last I saw him was about a week ago. I've tried to leave this place, but soldiers' rounds never stop and . . . I figured if I got myself killed, I'd be no help to anyone."

"Smart move," Becky said. "Lead the way, Doc."

Maggie turned around. "Morita."

"Yes, Doc?"

"Find Dugan and gather the men. We're going to blow the factory to hell. You think everyone has enough hope now?"

"Don't know about hope, Doc, but rage is definitely there."

"Good enough."

"The tree line is northwest, 80 yards past the gate," Steve said. "Get out fast and give ‘em hell. We’ll meet you guys in the clearing with anybody else we find."

Morita nodded and turned to leave. "Dugan!"

"We spread through the factory," Maggie told Steve and Becky, "Steve, you hunt down Schmidt. Beck, this place has a self destruct system. See if you can locate it and set it off. Time's set for seven minutes, so we don't have a lot of time to sweep the factory. I'm going to find Bucky."

"Maggie!"

Maggie stumbled slightly as she was attacked from behind by Olivier. She turned to him and gently pushed him away, hands on his shoulders. "Olivier, aller avec Dugan et Morita."

"Non," Olivier said, shaking his head, "je ne te laisse pas. Je viens avec vous."

"Who is this?" Steve asked.

"Olivier Enzo. Olivier, c'est Steve Rogers. Change of plans, I'm taking Olivier with me. Once we find Bucky, we're fleeing the factory. I'll double back to help you once I get the two of them out."

"No," Becky said, shaking her head. "You get out, you stay with them. Steve and I will handle Schmidt."

Maggie agreed, if only to placate Becky. Grabbing Olivier's arm, she left the prisons first. Out of habit, she let Olivier take the lead. She'd gotten used to Becky dictating her every move on the field and welcomed the familiarity that came with Olivier leading their search.

She grabbed his arm to stop him when she heard Bucky's voice. Before anyone came down the corridor, she pulled Olivier into a room.

"Sergeant, 3-2-5-5-7--"

"Bucky!" Maggie rushed to the gurney in the centre of the room. "Olivier, aidez-moi avec ces contraintes."

Together, they freed Bucky and helped him to stand.

"Buck, can you hear me? What's my name? Bucky! What's my name?"

"Crystal," Bucky slurred, as if he were drunk, "but you hate it."

"And who's this?" Maggie asked, pointing to Olivier.

Olivier stared back as Bucky studied him. "Magpie's baby."

"What's his name?"

"Olivier."

Olivier chuckled. "I am not Magpie's baby," he said, his French accent blurring the words together.

Bucky scoffed. "Sure, kid, whatever." He glanced at Maggie, who was fully supporting him as they left the room. "When did you get so strong?"

"Daily pull-ups in the cells, you know how it is, Buckwheat."

"Magpie."

Maggie smiled, more than thrilled to have Bucky back.

In her defence, Maggie really did try to get Bucky and Olivier out of the factory in seven minutes. Alas, she eventually found herself on a catwalk across Steve and Becky, with the building burning and crumbling around them.

"What are you doing here?! I told you to get out!"

"I'm not leaving my best friend behind!"

Becky eventually laid eyes on a thin gantry. She turned to Steve. "Super soldiers first," she said, gesturing to the death trap.

Maggie got down on the gantry from the other side. "I got this side."

"I got this one," Becky said. "Go, Steve."

Knowing he had never won an argument against either of the two, Steve reluctantly crossed the chasm slowly. Once he was across, he immediately went to check on Bucky. Olivier, who would without hesitation admit that Maggie was stronger than him, allowed Bucky to lean against Steve instead. Becky stood up on the other side and got ready to cross the chasm.

The gantry gave way, almost taking Maggie down with it.

"Go!" Becky shouted, waving them away. "Get out of here!"

"Not without you!" Maggie yelled furiously as she stood up too. "There's gotta be a rope or something! Please! Beck, I'm not leaving you behind!"

Becky glanced around for something to swing over. When she concluded that there was nothing, she eyed the broken railing. Holding to the fixed portion, she kicked out what was already falling apart, making a gap wide enough for her to safely make the jump. Whether she would reach the other side was another question entirely. Maggie leaned over the railing, waiting.

Becky moved backwards and took a running start. Seconds after she leapt into the air, the box behind her exploded. The blast pushed Becky forward, but it also threw her balance off. Maggie leaned out as far as she could. She caught Becky's arm and Becky locked her fingers around Maggie's arm, but the jerk of gravity claiming Becky pulled Maggie over the railing.

///////////////

The typewriter's clicking seemed louder than Phillips' voice. "Senator Brandt, I regret to report that Captain Steven G. Rogers and Agent Rebecca L. Barnes went missing behind enemy lines on the third. Aerial reconnaissance has proven unfruitful. As a result, I must declare Captain Rogers and Agent Barnes killed in action. Period."

"The last surveillance flight is back," Peggy said as she entered the tent. She nodded a greeting to the corporal behind the typewriter. "No sign of activity."

"Go get a cup of coffee, Corporal."

"Yes, sir."

Once the corporal had left, Phillips turned to Peggy. "I can’t touch Stark. He’s rich and he’s the army’s number one weapons contractor. You are neither one."

"With respect, sir, I don’t regret my actions. And I don’t think Captain Rogers or Agent Barnes did either."

"What makes you think I give a damn about your opinions? I took a chance with you, Agent Carter, you and your partner, and now America’s golden boy, one of the SOE's top agents are dead, cause you had a crush."

"It wasn’t that. I had faith."

"Well, I hope that’s a big comfort to you when they shut this division down."

Peggy's response was drowned in the sound of excited yelling as soldiers ran past the tent.

"What the hell’s going on out there?" Phillips mumbled. He and Peggy followed the crowd to see hundreds of men walking up to the camp. Both pushed their way to the front when the camp met the soldiers.

Steve nodded to Phillips. "Some of these men need medical attention. Dr Maravilla won't be on duty for a few days."

"Medic!" someone shouted, "we need a medic over here!"

Nurses bled into the crowd, guiding injured soldiers to the med bays.

"We would like to surrender ourselves for disciplinary action," Becky said, glancing at Steve.

Phillips glanced at the men behind Steve. "That won't be necessary."

"Yes, sir," Steve said, a faint smile on his lips.

"Faith, huh?" Phillips murmured to Peggy before leaving.

"You're late," she told Steve.

He held up the transponder she had given him, buttons popped out and a hole right through. "Couldn't call my ride."

"Hey!" Becky shouted, "let's hear it for Captain America!"

The men cheered after her words. Peggy glanced away from Steve to hug Becky. The pair stole Maggie from Bucky and Olivier, if only for a few seconds' worth of a group hug.

Peggy left with Becky, guiding her to the med bays. Despite her arguments that she was fine, Olivier and Bucky dragged Maggie behind the pair. Steve followed Phillips to find out what happened next.

The first time Bucky had seen Howard and Becky together, Howard had been at his most awkward and unsure, shuffling about and repeatedly clearing his throat. He'd barely had his arm around her. Now, as he rushed through the med bay, searching for Becky, he couldn't care less who was watching as he showered Becky with kisses. Each "Are you okay?" and "Are you hurt?" was punctuated with another kiss on her forehead, on her cheeks, on her lips, on her nose, or a hug.

Bucky smiled as he sat next to Maggie, who was being fitted for a sling. "Never thought I'd see the day Becky would let someone fuss over her like that."

"She used to let my dad fuss over her whenever she fell."

"Okay, but Tio Hugo gave the best hugs and what kid doesn't want their scrape kissed better?"

Maggie smiled. "I guess that's fair."

"Mr Stark!" a nurse cried, huffing as she stood with her hands on her hips. "Could I please see my patient!"

Howard sat down next to Becky, never letting go of her hand.

Maggie laughed softly.

"All done, doctor."

"Thank you," Maggie told the nurse, adjusting the sling when the woman wasn't looking.

"Are you okay?" Olivier asked Bucky.

Bucky nodded. "Better now. Much better."

"That's good. Maggie sent a lot of us into a very worried state. We thought she was going to break out and start a . . . émeute?"

"Riot," Maggie said.

"A riot, all by herself."

"Is that so?" Bucky asked, glancing at Maggie, who only shrugged and turned her nose up.

Olivier grinned. "Seulement taquineries, Maggie."

"Je connais, Olivier."

///////////////

In London, Olivier marked off spots on a large map. "J'ai seulement un petit regard," he told Maggie, before repeating himself in English to Phillips and Steve.

"C'est bon, Olivier."

They walked over to another map, pinned to a wall. Maggie gestured to the pins. "These are the weapon factories we know about. Hydra shipped all the parts to another facility that isn’t on this map. They quickly figured out I speak German and generally stopped talking around me."

Phillips nodded before facing Peggy. "Agent Carter, you and Agent Barnes coordinate with MI6. I want every Allied eyeball looking for that main Hydra base."

"What about us?" Peggy asked.

"We are gonna set a fire under Johann Schmidt’s ass. What do you say, Rogers? It’s your map, you think you can wipe Hydra off of it?"

"Yes, sir. I’ll need a team."

"We’re already putting together the best men."

"With all due respect, sir. So am I."

Much later than evening, Maggie walked into the bar with Peggy and Becky, each of them dressed up for the night. Becky greeted her brother and Steve before slipping away. Maggie tried to sit down but Bucky pulled her up. "Dance with me, Magpie."

"Buck . . . oh, bien vale."

They didn't really dance. Not like the others out on the floor. Bucky's hand never moved from Maggie's wait, and the other held not too tightly to her own. They swayed gently, though it didn't quite fit the music.

"Did I ever tell you I love this dress?"

"Every time I put it on since you gave it to me."

"Doesn't matter. I love this dress on you, Magpie."

"Thank you, Bucky," Maggie said with a smile.

"Back to the jaws of death with us, huh?"

Maggie shrugged. "Wasn't so bad with you around. Got really awful really quickly when you vanished into the isolation ward."

"I promise not to disappear on you again."

"To the jaws of death, then."

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WiW masterpost

[goswagcollectorfire]

CARL’S BLOG: DARK CLOUDS OVER ALABAMA; carl’sblog.online; http://sbpra.com/CarlJBarger; Arkansas-Hillbilly.com

12-21-19:  Obadiah performs Cesarean Surgery on Audrey to save her and the baby.

 “Mother, I need you to stand at Audrey’s head and hold her shoulders still. Mattie, I need for you to stand at her feet and hold her feet in case she begins to move around. Penelope, I need for you to stand on the other side of her and use these towels to soak up the blood. This procedure isn’t pretty, and you are going to see lots of blood. Please don’t get sick on me. I’ve done this procedure before. Trust me; I know what I’m doing.”

“Where’s Betsy?”

“I’m right here, Master Obadiah!”

“Betsy, I need for you stand by in case we need more water and supplies.

“Does everyone understand what I want you to do?”

Everyone answered in the affirmative.

As I made my first incision blood went everywhere. Penelope didn’t flinch one bit. She was wonderful and immediately applied the towel to the opening, soaking up the excess blood. She appeared to know exactly what I instructed her to do. My second incision was made and brought more blood. Again, Penelope was calm and soaked up the blood.

I glanced at Mother, she looked pale. She had seen lots of babies born into this world but not like this. She was shaking her head in disbelief. She was witnessing something she had never seen before.

As I pulled my daughter through the openings I had made in Audrey’s uterus and abdomen, I found myself questioning whether I had waited too long. If Audrey dies, I will never forgive myself. I prayed all through the surgery that both the baby and Audrey would live. The baby was perfect. After spanking her on the bottom and hearing her cry, I knew she was alive. I handed her to Mother so she and Betsy could clean her up.

Penelope was wonderful. I couldn’t have asked for a better assistant. She kept the blood soaked up as I closed the incisions. She was as solid as a rock.

I took my stethoscope and examined Audrey. Her blood pressure was slowly coming back. It would be awhile before I could tell how much damage had been done by the stroke.

I was exhausted. I sat down in the rocking chair near Penelope.

Mother came over to me and said, “Here’s your beautiful daughter. She’s perfect!

She was beautiful, just like her mother. She had lots of blond hair and strong lungs. She was crying very loudly when Mother handed her to me. Just as I pulled her to my chest, there was a sudden change. She stopped crying. For several nights when Audrey was pregnant and we were lying in bed, I would put my hand on Audrey’s stomach and would sing a song to the baby. We didn’t know what sex the baby was, but we didn’t really care. We had always heard that reading and singing to babies gave them a sense of belonging.

After holding her for a few minutes, I took her over and laid her beside Audrey. I whispered in Audrey’s ear and said, “Audrey, meet your daughter, Belle.”

Audrey and I had decided if it was a girl, we would name her Belle Catherine Bradford. We both agreed that we wanted our baby girl to be named after our mothers. Belle is Audrey’s mother’s middle name, and Catherine is my mother’s first name.

One week after Belle was born, we saw some improvement in Audrey. She began to blink her eyes some. She also moved her fingers some. We could talk to her, and she would respond by squeezing our hands or blinking. This is a prayer being answered, I thought. Since Audrey couldn’t nurse little Belle, mother and Penelope took turns feeding her cow’s milk. Mother said, “I raised all of you on cow’s milk, and we can do it with Belle, too.”

Since Audrey was in good hands at Twin Oaks, I decided to resume my schedule at the hospital and calling on the plantations.

Politics was still the number one subject on the streets of Prattville. On May 18, Abraham Lincoln won the Republican Party’s nomination for president of the United States. The Republicans adopted a concrete, precise, and moderately worded platform, which included the exclusion of slavery from the territories but the affirmation of the right of states to order and control their own domestic institutions. Lincoln’s presidential nomination created anger throughout the Deep South. The newspapers were full of statements like, “If Lincoln is elected president of the United States, we will secede from the union.”

With the dedicated service of Penelope, Audrey showed improvement daily. Penelope worked daily with Audrey on her exercise and speech. Belle was doing fine. Her development was right on course. She was a healthy little girl. Between Penelope and Mother, Charles and Belle were certainly not neglected.

My visits to the plantations were mostly good. I found that during cotton planting time, the slaves were treated better by their overseers and owners. They could grow fresh vegetables, which was a good supplement to their normal corn diet.

My mother continued her trips to Prattville twice a week. She went shopping and visited my sisters Tanya and Sarah on Mondays and played bridge with her friends on Wednesdays. Her health was holding up.

Mattie and Big Jim had another boy. They named him Henry. The birth of Henry gave Mattie and Big Jim two sons. I am amazed at how Mattie looks. Giving birth to two children has not hurt her looks at all. She’s still as beautiful as the first time I saw her in Selma, Alabama.

The hospital in Prattville is now up and running. Dr. Banister is doing a great job as its first administrator. My friends Dr. Jim Burroughs, and Dr. Frank Matthews, and I keep busy working at the hospital and making plantation calls.

Daniel Pratt has done it again. The hospital is a big success and was badly needed in our county. Our hospital beds are filled to capacity. I’ve always admired Mr. Pratt’s visionary qualities. He has a way of seeing a need for something and figuring out a way to make it happen. The citizens of Autauga County are blessed to have a man of his vision.

The summer brought good weather to Autauga County, and the cotton and corn were bumper crops.

Audrey was making slow progress. She could now say a few words but was still unable to walk and hold the children. Penelope continued to work daily with her. The children looked to Penelope for their needs since Audrey was not able to attend them. I know it made Audrey sad not to be able to pick up her children and play with them. At times, she breaks down and cries. Although I’m not one hundred percent sure, I believe that someday Audrey will recover most of the use of her body functions and mental capacity. I pray daily this will happen.

On November 6, 1860, Abraham Lincoln was elected president of the United States. His platform included the prohibition of slavery in new states and territories. Mr. Lincoln won all the electoral votes in all the Free states except New Jersey where he received four votes to Douglas’s three.

As I read the newspaper article announcing Mr. Lincoln’s victory, I was reminded of one conversation I had had with Father. I remember Father saying, “Abe Lincoln from Illinois may someday be president of the United States. He’s a clever one, he is.” He went on to say, “Lincoln’s stand on slavery would be the end to the South as we know it. If he’s elected, our country will never be the same again.”

What was once calmness across the Deep South was no longer. Plantation owners were fearful that Lincoln would abolish slavery and free the slaves in the South. If that occurred, bankruptcy would be the death of many plantation owners.

The month of December brought on several incidents that made things even worse. On December 4, President Buchanan condemned Northern interference with slave policies of Southern states. He went on to say, however, that states had no right to secede from the Union.

On December 17, 1860, South Carolina called a secession convention in Columbia. On the second day of the convention, the representatives voted to move the convention to Charleston because of a smallpox epidemic which was running rampant in Columbia. While in Charleston, the convention’s business was held at St. Andrews Hall.

On December 20, 1860, the convention adopted the Ordinance of Secession on a roll call vote. The vote consisted of one hundred and sixty-nine yeas, and zero nays. The convention published a declaration of the immediate causes that induce and justified the secession of South Carolina from the Federal Union.  

The document cited several causes to justify their secession from the Union. Among the causes were, “Encroachments on the reserved right of the states,” and “an increasing hostility of the non-slaveholding states to the institution of slavery,” and “the election of a man to the high office of President of the United States, whose opinions and purposes are hostile to slavery.”

The convention also resolved that all previously federally owned properties in the state were now South Carolina’s. The Convention called on the federal government to restore South Carolina authority to Forts Moultrie and Sumter, the Charleston Arsenal, and Castle Pinckney.

South Carolina’s promise to secede from the Union if Abe Lincoln was elected was now history.

After reading the South Carolina Declaration of Secession, I knew we were in trouble. How could the Union allow South Carolina to take possession of these forts and assume a Union of their own? I had a bad feeling about all of this.

On December 24, 1860, South Carolina Governor Francis Wilkinson Pickens declared the act of secession in effect.