#SORRY I WENT SUPER ANGSTY TO CATHART...

[himebushou]

Gaps

The days bleed into each other: night follows day, follows day, follows day; Kazuki and Rei shoot and scheme and shoot and scheme —

And Miri is gone.

They don't know how to talk about it.

It starts with Rei making their home more presentable, picking up Miri's old toys and placing them back in Miri's old room.  Kazuki can no longer bear to step inside that space, so it falls to Rei to wipe down surfaces and vacuum.  He never realised, before now, that dust can somehow accumulate in an uninhabited place.

It continues with Kazuki refusing to buy Choco Puffs, even though he knows that Rei likes them; they argue, voices rising, until Kazuki snaps and disappears for three days.

While he waits, Rei plays video games (anything but Morio Kart) and tries to convince himself that his partner isn't lying in a pool of blood, somewhere. Kazuki finished off Ogino, after all: Kazuki is a fighter, a survivor, a threat. Rei has to believe in that.

Kazuki finally returns with a broken nose and a black eye.

They don't talk about it.

Work is good.  Kyuutarou supplies a steady flow of targets. As a team, Rei and Kazuki have reached new levels of proficiency. Rei is less volatile and Kazuki has finally learnt how to act. He can be sinister, moody, charming, dense. Rei enjoys seeing these facets of Kazuki: they're preferable to the man who alternates between silently sitting on the sofa and replying to everything Rei says in a stupid, sing-song voice.

But it hits a wall.

A cold day in April. The start of the new academic year. Kazuki drives and Rei stares at the world beyond the windows, wanting cherry blossoms, wanting Miri. Idly, he turns on the radio and a melodic voice floats through the speakers:

"Don't say goodbye..."

Rei intervenes — stops Kazuki from crashing into the vehicle in front. Switches the radio off. Kazuki doesn't scream or cry, just thumps his fists against the steering wheel, cursing, "Damn it! Damn it!" as horns bleat around them.

They have to leave.

Quickly.

"We need to address this."

Then they're at home. Kazuki stands out on the balcony, gulping down air between his tears. Rei follows and miserably sprays the plants while Kazuki calms down.

When there is stillness, Rei looks at Kazuki's locked shoulders and says,

"Why?"

"That's a stupid question."

Kazuki laughs. The sound cuts like a knife. He says, "I don't know anything, Rei. Nothing at all. I'm... an idiot."

There he goes again, steeping himself in martyrdom, blaming himself for everything that has ever, or will ever, go wrong. Rei's patience breaks. He grips Kazuki's shoulders — forcibly turns Kazuki around. He wants to shake Kazuki! Strangle him!

But —

"Rei," Kazuki says softly, "I haven't been doing much around here. I think... I need to get my head clear. Find my own place."

"This is your home."

Kazuki scoffs. "Forget it, Rei. We're still living on your family's blood money. I know you hate this prison as much as I do."

Rei nods to show Kazuki that he gets it. It's a meaningless action — they're both aware that they are two kindred souls in a blood-garbed world and that only Rei understands Kazuki and that only Kazuki understands Rei. Thus, when Rei asks,

Hate.

Hates?

"How long?"

So Rei inclines his head again. Acquiesces. He won't force his will on others. That's a move from Kazuki's playbook, or hell, even the late Suwa Shigeki's. Instead, Rei goes back inside and starts washing rice. Despite everything, he's hungry.

He knows that Kazuki is lying when he replies,

"Just a little while."

Kazuki soon joins him. He begins prepping the fish.

They don't talk.

(And this is why.)

[coco-loco-nut]

Down Bad

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

summary: a heartbreak like no other

a/n: it’s super short, sorry

masterlist ttpd masterlist

________

You should've known better. Really. You aren't the kind of girl that a hot, 29-year-old, Spanish Formula One driver would like. Of course, you are beautiful, but apparently not enough for him. His attention was fleeting, leaving you just another one of his conquests in a long string of girls like you.

You met Carlos while interning in Madrid during the Winter. At the time you didn't realize he was love-bombing you, only to drop you cold once your internship ended a month later and you went home, practically shipped away by him. For a moment you knew, or thought you knew, extraordinary love, but it wasn't real. Was anything real anymore?

“Sweetheart, you need to stop moping,” your mom says from the doorway of your bedroom. “You know I love you, but if I didn’t know you better, I’d think you are a moody teenager,” you know your mom means well, but the last bit struck hard.

“Fine, I’m going for a run,” you groan, rolling out of bed. She leaves your room, seemingly appeased. It doesn’t take you long to get dressed, lace up your trainers, and play your angsty playlist through your headphones.

You take the path you know by heart, the one you take when you need to be away from people. When you are sufficiently alone, you let it all out.

Crying and running may not be the wisest idea, but it’s cathartic to you. You stop when you get to the meadow and lay down, staring at the cloudy sky. As the music plays, you yell the lines that hit too close to home. I might just die, it would make no difference. Fuck you if I can’t have us.

Fuck. You need to get over him. Everything just feels so hollow now, like you were stripped of everything you are and ever were. You just want to talk to your friends about it, but you know them. They will call you nuts, saying that it never really happened, that Carlos Sainz would never date you.

So instead, you lay in this field, thinking about when you were heaven struck. You might just not get up, stay down while you are down bad for someone who doesn’t even care about your existence anymore.

Maybe you were abducted by an alien to another, then returned back to this spot. That could explain it. Explain why you are feeling the angst of a scorned teenage girl, when you have more emotional maturity than that. You are 22 after all.

It’s how you imagine it feels like to lose the touch of a twin flame. I guess being love bombed then abandoned would do that to you.

The more you think about it, the more the alien analogy seems to fit. It’s like he beamed down from a ship, did a hostile takeover on your heart, the alien encounters closer and closed as each day passed. And you let them happen, willingly.

It started with a hello, then coffee, then a stroll, then a lunch, then a drive, then a dinner, then a night spent together, two, three, four, it spiraled. He did everything he could to worm his way into your heart, only for him to say it’s over.

Maybe you will take the ship, go to some planet and find an alien who can understand all of it. How dare he do everything he could to make you fall in love, only to leave you stranded. How is that romantic? You were in love, and fuck him if you can’t have him because of his actions.

You stare at the sky, music pumping through your headphones, willing the sky to part and reveal the alien spaceship that will beam you up to it in a cloud of dust and take you away.

Minutes pass until you realize your efforts are worthless, you mentally wave goodbye to the ship that carries him (and his pet names and his perfect dates) with it. Shedding a few tears on your run home, you start rebuilding yourself with each step. The hurt and pain slowly being chipped away.

No man with EVER make you feel this down bad again.

[perpetuallyfive]

Sorry, I get Into the Woods, Hamilton, and Next to Normal. But could you please explain Ghost Quartet? I've never heard or seen it. And... I really need you to explain Jesus Christ Superstar, saw the musical, saw the movie, don't get it. Not criticizing just going ?!?!?!?!?????????~?~???????

Ghost Quartet is technically a song cycle by Dave Malloy who went on to do Great Comet after. 

Ghost Quartet is vastly superior. I cried like a baby both times I saw it live. The good cathartic kind of crying.

I Don’t Know, The Astronomer, Prayer, and Hero are all incredible. On Spotify here. While there is quite a lot added to the show in its staging, most of the story comes across in the staging. It’s deliberately meant to be that circular and confusing at first. But it’s so, so beautiful and pure.

“I will try to forgive myself for being absent in public and bored before stars. For not remembering, for not being in my body. For not starting right now. I will try to see myself as I am.”

Jesus Christ Superstar is just super personal for me. I grew up loving the movie, loving a whole lot of movie musicals, and then right around the time I was realizing just how fucking queer I was, I saw a local church put on a production of it where Jesus and Judas were both played by really cute girls, despite the angry protests of another nearby church. 

The staging was in the 90s and Jesus was leader of a group of street kids. She wore a torn baseball jersey that said “Trinity” on the back and when Mary Magdalene sang to her as she slept she put her head down in her lap while getting her hair stroked as the brooding moody Judas with her heavy eyeliner, converse, flannel, and long braided hair watched and paced around being angsty.

That was truly formative shit.

[wonderwonderhowido]

Year-end meme time! I have been answering these questions once a year without fail since 2006. Maybe one of these years I’ll stop, but not for 2017.

Was 2017 a good year for you?

Yes! In February I decided I wanted to quit my job and go to Brazil for 3 months. I quit my job and moved away from NC in July, left for Brazil in August. I had a short-lived but intense romantic relationship from April-July. We drove across the country together. Brazil was really challenging but overall amazing. With the exception of a couple periods when life was too hectic, I kept up with my yoga habit. I think I made it a full 8 months without skipping a whole week actually? Maybe it was 6 months, I forget now, I just know that it was an important milestone for me at the time because I have never managed to keep up an exercise routine that long before. I spent more time at the ocean and by the pool than I have in most other years of my life. I lost some weight. I stayed relatively on top of my shit (bullet journaling really helped, when I was doing that), and stayed sane. I read a fuck ton of Harry/Draco and BTS fic. I took a lot of chances with people I had only just barely met. It has honestly been a pretty stellar year for me personally, the mounting sense of despair over the external world aside.

What was your favorite moment of the year?

Being in the ocean with kids climbing on top of me, demanding to be tossed into the waves.

What was your least favorite moment of the year?

Nothing actually stands out. I had some pretty low moments of crying over certain things in my life, but nothing I can talk about on the online, and besides since none of them were reacting to specific things they all sort of blend together in my memory anyway. I did cry whole buckets while leaving my goodbye party in NC and continued to cry when I got to my ex-BF’s house and then cried myself to sleep, but it feels sort of not right to call that a least favorite moment, just cathartic.

Where were you when 2017 began?

At the same new years’ party I was at when 2014, 2015, and 2016 began. That night was kind of a mixed bag for me, although I did get a new years’ kiss, which I will probably not be getting this year.  

Where will you be when 2017 ends?

One of my oldest friends in SLC is hosting a “polar plunge” at her house, so I’m going to do that. I probably will not be taking any kind of plunge myself but I can provide emotional support to those who shall.

Who will you be with when 2017 ends?

My friend Jennica and her husband. I have no idea who else, I don’t think I know most of their friends these days.  

Did you keep your new years resolution of 2017?

Looking at the half-assed resoluations I made…. Lmao, no I didn’t, but then my goals for the year changed rather drastically in February when I decided to upend everything, and I feel pretty good about how I followed through with all that stuff.

Do you have a new years resolution for 2018?

Have another list of resolution-ish intentions I have, I still would not call this list whole-assed but hey:

-complete a 30 day yoga challenge (I am on day 7 already, actually, so if I keep up with it I'll knock this one out before the end of January)

-don't let more than 4 days go by without going to yoga (other than when I'm traveling)

-don't let more than 2 days go by without writing (other than when I'm traveling)

-write original fiction at least three times a week, even if it's just like, scribbling down 100 words of a writing exercise (again, other than when traveling)

-read at least 25 books

-read at least 20 short stories

What was your relationship status? Did you break up with anyone?

I was in a relationship from roughly April-July, we broke it off before I left for Brazil. I dated other people in there, although no one for as long as I dated him.

How many one-night stands?

I think four? Idk depends on what you consider a one-night stand. And I made out with lots of different people, which was fun.

Did you make any new friends in 2017?

I made a lot of new friends in Brazil! I’ve made some new friends and reconnected with old friends through kpop. I seem to have made some new friends in SLC, which has been really nice.

What was your favorite month of 2017?

Probably September. April really ranks up there, too.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 30!!! I think on the day of I went to work, got taken out to lunch by my boyfriend, swam in my apartment’s pool, and started watching Boku No Hero Academia, also with the boyfriend. I had a small party for myself over the weekend, if memory serves. It was really nice, low key and happy, I really enjoyed turning 30 and have been very much enjoying my thirties since. I remember thinking that I was going to feel angsty and panicked about turning this number but that never really hit. It was mostly just good.

How many different places did you travel to in 2017?

Ashland, OR; Wilmington, NC; Charlotte, NC; from Carrboro, NC to SLC, with stops along the way in Birmingham, New Orleans, a town in Texas that I have forgotten the name of; in Brazil: Fortaleza, Taiba, Manaus, Tefe, Mamiraua Reserve, Monte Alegre do Sul, and Sao Paulo.

Did anybody close to you die in 2017?

No.

Did anybody close to you give birth?

Yes, K and E.

Did you miss anybody in the past year?

I missed my NC friends a lot after I moved away. I missed Brazil and my people there.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Other than public figures, no, not really.

What were your favorite movies that you saw in 2017?

Loving Vincent, Thor: Ragnarok and The Last Jedi.

What was your favorite song from 2017?

I have not done a great job of keeping track of which songs I’ve listened to the most this year, but: Silver Spoon/Baepsae by BTS; Nights by Frank Ocean; Soldados by Legiao Urbana; Don’t Take The Money by Bleachers; The Louvre by Lorde; Ultralight Beam by Kanye West; Young by The Chainsmokers.

Did you have a favorite concert in 2017?

Bleachers and MUNA in Charlotte! Also Chance The Rapper.

Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2017?

I feel like yes but I think I did less getting super drunk than in previous years.

Did you do a lot of drugs in 2017?

Not ‘a lot’ but I was not expecting this to be the year that recreational drugs came back into my life. So ‘a lot’ by my usual standards, I guess.

What kept you sane?

Yoga, walking, and journaling. This is a very boring and literal answer, sorry, but it’s true. I’m sorry to be one of Those People but exercise and mindfulness are the reasons I’m able to be off anti-depressants.

What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Traveled to a foreign country by myself. Tried cocaine. Wrote fanfiction commissions. Taught english classes. Learned how to samba. Used a bullet journal. Did goat yoga. Interviewed a creator I admired. Went to a club by myself.

What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

-August 21, the day of the eclipse and the day I flew to Brazil.

-July 28-29, my last days in NC, the night one of my cats spent in the bathtub of a friend’s apartment, and the days I spent frantically moving out of my apartment.

-The Women’s March. Both because it was one of the very few times this year I felt politically empowered, and because that night I had a really fantastic tinder date with a woman who had also been at the march. This was only a couple days after I’d been dumped by the girl I was seeing, so I felt very spitefully pleased about the timing of it all.

-April 22. At my old job, we opened up a new public preserve, an event everyone in the org had been working to make happen for years. The event itself went extremely well and was super gratifying, and then that night was one of the early and really great dates with the guy I was dating.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Quitting my job in a way I feel good about. Making Brazil happen. Moving out of my apartment. Sticking with yoga. Finishing my otayuri Spy AU. Writing all the fic that people commissioned me for, even though it took me forever and a day. Paying off my credit card post-brazil.

What was your biggest failure?

I am disappointed in myself for not trying harder to write and publish more nonfiction, even though I felt all this momentum in that direction after the McElroy piece I wrote in May. I am also disappointed in myself for losing steam on the novel I started in 2016. There are some conversations I wish I had had with important people in my life, that I always chickend out on having. There are some feelings I wish I had been able to leave behind, but couldn’t.

What was the best thing you bought?

Other than plane tickets, probably my chromebook. It does not feel real at all that I bought that in 2017, though. This year has been five years in one.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? happier

b) thinner or fatter? thinner

c) richer or poorer? poorer

How did you spend Christmas?

With my family in SLC, like I almost always do. We opened presents, my dad and I went to yoga, I read a lot of kpop fic, in the evening we went to a dinner party at my parents’ friends house and I ate a lot of really good food.

What was the best book you read?

If I manage to finish The Female Man today, I will have read 23 books this year, not counting the 6 Animorphs books I reread and the gazillions of BNHA manga chapters. That’s actually more than I thought I had read, and maybe I should make my books goal for 2018 a larger number, hm.

But anyway I think the best book of those was probably The Basic Eight by Daniel Handler or Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. I also loved Swing Time by Zadie Smith but I read that at the beginning of the year so it sort of feels like a lifetime ago.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

Well for half of it I’ve been either living out of a backpack or in my pajamas almost 24/7. Also I got rid of most of my wardrobe. So I guess minimal?

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

A new Carly Rae Jepsen album!!! And greater financial security, a home in a city I’m happy about living in.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing original fiction and freelance writing. Exercising more discipline in my writing life, in general. Mindfulness exercises when I was upset. Taking photos of people I wanted to remember.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Sweet jesus do I wish I had spent less time mindlessly refreshing apps on my phone, particularly twitter. Also pointless angsting about personal relationships. Gone on less Tinder dates that I knew weren’t going anywhere.

What are your plans for 2018?

Going to Japan in May with @corvidyouths and @globsavethequeen!!! And getting a job in New York or LA or DC or, who knows, somewhere else that I haven’t though of yet.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Well, I don’t know how much of my year this actually sums up, but these lines have been rattling around my head more than anything else. From Nights by Frank Ocean:

I ain't trying to keep you Can't keep up a conversation Can't nobody reach you Why your eyes well up Did you call me from a seance You are from a past life

[seven-oomen]

So I hope you’re feeling better, and have managed to cool down finally.  A year or two ago, the A/C in my apartment kept going out, to the point where finally they had to just replace the whole unit, and there were days when the temp inside would hit nearly 33 degrees (according to Google’s conversion chart.)  As someone also very much built for colder climes, I was about ready to murder someone, but that would have required too much movement and energy expenditure.  So I know just how indescribably miserable that feeling is.  (Frankly if I ended up in Eur at any point, I would probably also cave and buy some sort of A/C, too.  Give me cold over hot any day.  I can always add more layers, I can only take off so many.)  Also, I hope you’re feeling better in general after therapy, and that it was at least helpful and cathartic, if super difficult and heavy.

I’m sorry your game turned out disappointing.  I’d seen a few memes pop up on Facebook with no real context that now make a lot more sense.  I think sometimes a sequel that just doesn’t quite live up to expectations can be worse than if it’s just a trainwreck from the start, because you can visualize how it might have been if only…

I did have one more thought on the HP front (oh god, why?  how?  I was never really even in that fandom…)  I can’t remember enough details right now to be certain if Durmstrang was more generically Eastern European coded or if it was more specific to certain countries, but I thought it wouldn’t necessarily be entirely out of the question that Noah could be a student there.  Chris in Beauxbatons is a no- brainer.  And Hale is already a British last name.  Basically, what I’m saying is Tri-Wizard Tournament, except they’re fucking.  (Which given what little I know about the HP fandom, that is probably not the first time someone’s said that…)

And I see we’re just going right for the feels with that flashback, huh? XD  Why do I have the feeling that there’s going to be a corresponding scene in the current timeline as a callback that will just make it hurt even more?  (My heart says Stiles or Malia singing it to Ben, my head says anything is good, really)  And now I can look forward to imagining John’s ghost lovingly Gibbs-smacking the three of them upside the head any time they start getting angsty about how the other two feel.  Do you have any FCs for (young) Claudia or her father (I think there were already at least a couple different actresses, so I consider her fair game)?  Or Julio?  And having a visual for him now makes me think of the flashback in Ch.6 where he was treating their injuries, wondering if he and Mieczyslaw ever did go to have a “chat” with Elias, if there was a specific event that lead to that particular incident between Chris, Noah, and Elias, and where Peter was during all that (and who kept him from “helping” his father with his visit)?

Oh, one more for the sibling prank pile: when I was in high school/college, a lot of times when I’d be over at this one friend’s house, we’d be downstairs playing video games with her little sister and/or brother (by which I mean, they would be playing GoldenEye or Perfect Dark, and I would just be dying a lot because I’m beyond terrible at FPS), if we were playing music “too loud” (usually No Doubt or Garbage, or later on, AFI), her older brother would go upstairs to his room and start blasting Queen or Pink Floyd at top volume to try and drown us out, like some kind of Stereo Cold War (instead of using headphones, or asking us to turn it down, or something else logical.)  It definitely made for some interesting mash-ups, and I always had to fight down the urge to ask him “…you know we like those bands, too, right?  Like, if you’re trying to dissuade us or irritate us, you’re doing it wrong…"  Long story short, I could totally see Stiles and Jackson doing something like this, until one of their dads gets so frustrated they start blasting some of the most teenager repelling music they can think of to make them stop.  Peter: “You think this Spice Girls mix is painful?  Keep it up and you’ll learn that I know where Chris keeps the Nickleback CDs he doesn’t think we know about.”

This was originally gonna be part of my review, but I wasn’t sure how long it might get, so I saved it for one of these.  So I know in a previous chat you mentioned Peter’s wedding day was one of the happiest of his life, and I know Chris calls them his husbands, while Noah said Peter’d been “practically proposing”, so I was wondering would they be considered engaged at this point, or actually married (like, werewolf married or something)?  Because I am entirely here for some kind of ceremony once shit calms down a bit.  I can’t see Peter resisting the chance to get both his boys into fancy suits to show off just how lucky he is.  And they could work all the kids into the ceremony in different roles, all of them dressed up, too, but allowed to style it based on their personality and preferences.  Think about all the photoshoot opportunities.  Not sure who would be the best choice for officiant, because I’m not sure who may or may not have popped up by that point in the story.  I feel like the most appropriate setting (based on present knowledge) would be the Nemeton.  Second option would be the back yard of the house once it’s been rebuilt, depending how far in the future that is and how long they want to wait to make it official (Or other locations, what ever feels the most right.)  Imagine Melissa (lovingly) roasting the everloving shit out of them in a speech.  T H E  D A N C I N G…  Just, like, a huge celebration of the fact that they made it through.  And don’t forget the honeymoon…  Them at very least getting a room in some super luxe hotel, even if they don’t want to go too terribly far away because of the kids.  Champagne, huge shower stall and Jacuzzi tub, giant bed with 1000ct sheets, balcony with a hot tub, just, like, all the nicest, fanciest luxuries.   (And because I apparently can’t get enough of them teasing Peter to distraction)  At the end of the night they all stumble into the bedroom, and get Peter sitting down on a chair or bench facing the bed.  They loosely tie his wrists behind him with the tie he’d been wearing, and slowly unbutton his shirt and slide it down to wrap around them as well (they all know it hasn’t a chance of holding him, that’s not the point) before backing away out of reach and going to work on each other’s suits.  Eventually they’re down to just their necklaces, dress shirts, and an extra surprise they had made for their husband; matching Chantilly lace panties specially handwoven with a triskelion pattern (I was thinking maybe out of lilies-of-the-valley, because for some reason I felt like Peter was a May baby, and that’s the birth flower for that month, and also I feel that would curve into the Hale spirals fairly easily and nicely.  And while I like the idea that it’s traditionally black, this one has a lovely blue shift threaded through it that would look AMAZING on them), and featuring thin triple side ties made from silk in shades of blue to match their eyes (‘cause maybe he won’t rip it if he can just untie it?).  Peter’s brain would just keep blue screening and rebooting as he tried to process everything, while they turn and crawl up the bed (giving a hell of a view as they go), turning back to him as they lean up against each other, trying to mock pout through their smirks like “Won’t you join us, husband?  It’s lonely up here without you."  His shirt just ends up confetti sized shreds of white cotton (or silk?) floating gently down to the floor as he surges up the bed at literal supernatural speed so fast he almost bounces off the headboard, trying to figure out a way to tackle both of them at once.  (…Holy shit, I cannot believe I just actually wrote all that out.  Apologies if it went a little far, as per usual, I may have gotten carried away.  In my defense, speculating about it kept me from murdering the guy who decided to open and start "testing” our dog whistles because he insisted the last one he got didn’t work, so.)  Actually, that also reminds me, we know that Derek has a triskelion tattoo, do you think Peter does as well?  Or gets one at some point?  Do you think Noah or Chris would ever get one, as a sign of pack loyalty, since the Hales are the ones that took them in when their own families cast them out?  (And also, that’s definitely a mark that’s not going to fade away, but also does not carry the risk of accidental turning.)  Where would any of them have/get them?

And re: review responses, etc.  Don’t worry if you don’t want to reveal too much ahead of time.  I generally figure a lot of what I mention is stuff that has a good chance of just coming up later in the story.  I’m equally happy with the previews we do get and with waiting patiently (I swear I can) for things to be revealed in future chapters.

Oh, and the cosplay!  (Sorry, meant to mention that earlier but I got…distracted…)  If you do ever get the chance to do that one that would be amazing!  By the time I got into TW I wasn’t getting to cons very much any more, so I’ve never really seen anyone cosplaying any TW characters, at least obviously.  And we so rarely got to see any of Peter’s beta shift as it was.  I will say that the Hale boys are some of my faves for fandom inspired fashion (basically where it’s not specifically a costume and most regular people wouldn’t get it but I know.  I’ve done it with a number of characters over the years.)  I have several henleys in colors that feel appropriate to the show’s wardrobe, that if I’m in the mood I’ll pair with some dark jeans and boots or black chucks.  It lets me express my fannish inclinations with less risk of anyone getting all judge-y about it.  I, however, can’t get away with wearing them with quite as few buttons done up as they do, there tend to be laws about that sort of thing.  I also have a cute floral dress that works really well for a Lydia inspired look, and plans for similar, slightly more obvious, versions for Raven (Teen Titans) and Black Canary, should I ever manage to get to a convention again (I’m much more prone to costumes that are adaptations over exact accuracy.  Nobody wants to see me in a spandex suit, not even me.)  But yes, full support and encouragement on the cosplay!  That look is definitely one that would catch attention.

Final unexpected segue: Many, MANY years ago we carried a product at work that was an anti-mating spray (yes, that’s spelled correctly).  It was intended for unspayed females that went into heat to help keep interested males away.  Many were the customers that bought it without paying attention who thought it would help with grooming.  I just thought it was one of the funniest things I’d ever heard of, and that was long before I knew anything about omegaverse fic.  Can you imagine something like that in a traditional a/b/o story? XD  I still think about that product every so often (no idea if they even still make anything like that), and wanted to share the hilarity.

Wow, just realized that it’s like 3am.  Jesus, I’ve been rambling a while.  But I think that was everything?  Anyway I’m going to attempt to go to bed, and pretend I didn’t just write more almost porn.  (There’s a quote from the movie Noises Off! [another fave, highly recommend if you’ve not seen it], where a character is referring to her ability to remember lines, and says “Well, it’s like a slot machine up here.” *gestures vaguely at her head* “I, I open my mouth, and I never know what’s going to come out; three oranges, or two lemons and a banana."  And I feel like that’s an accurate description of my posting style.)

For the FC I do, for teenage Claudia: Davina Claire (but imagine the brown eyes)

For Adult Claudia the actress Joey Honsa: 

And for Claudia’s dad (I’m not awake enough to copy Miech’s name fully): Gary Oldman

And Julio Delgado: Santiago Calbrera

Fucking tumblr... I had entire sections typed out during work but my phone freaked out and now it’s gone and I can retype it all over a again... am angry >:( 

Anyway, yeah I’m doing a lot better, ac’s on, I got drinks and shit. And I’m trying to rock my Reese’s pieces tank with Harry Potter booty shorts.

I’m gonna try and answer the most important things I wrote down and work from there. 

And now I can look forward to imagining John’s ghost lovingly Gibbs-smacking the three of them upside the head any time they start getting angsty about how the other two feel.  

There was a lot of Gibbs-smacking back when John was watching over them. Although he made sure to never freak out Chris and instead go for the ‘abby kisses’ on the temple and forehead whenever Chris did the right thing or was particularly vulnerable.

I also have this headcanon that John took care of Allison and Jackson for the first week or two because Chris just couldn’t. He felt alone at almost 18, just went through pure hell to deliver two babies he doesn’t really know. He loves them, he does, he’s just-, he doesn’t know how to feel. So John steps in and teaches him how to be a parent. It takes a bit of time but by the time Jackson and Allison are a week old, Chris is fully on board and would die for them in a heartbeat. And John just looks at him with this pride in his eyes and kisses his forehead. “I’m proud of you.” It’s the first time Chris hears that from a father figure.

And having a visual for him now makes me think of the flashback in Ch.6 where he was treating their injuries, wondering if he and Mieczyslaw ever did go to have a “chat” with Elias, if there was a specific event that lead to that particular incident between Chris, Noah, and Elias, and where Peter was during all that (and who kept him from “helping” his father with his visit)?

This I will address in the prequel, and maybe a very short teaser flashback.

And I was going to close this story with a wedding, a honeymoon, and a pack run at the end. ^^ And holy shit the panties idea is fucking golden.

I could not focus on my work today XD. What an image please do give me more if you think of them ^^. It’s a lovely idea to have Chris and Noah dressed in lacy triskelion panties while having Peter ‘bound’ in a chair. They’re making out, they’re all having fun. And Peter’s hard, like he’s trying so hard to be a good boy for them but holy shit if they keep making out like that, all bets are off. What a fantastic image. Although probably not the best when trying to work XD. (I don’t mind.)

Actually, that also reminds me, we know that Derek has a triskelion tattoo, do you think Peter does as well?  Or gets one at some point?  Do you think Noah or Chris would ever get one, as a sign of pack loyalty, since the Hales are the ones that took them in when their own families cast them out?  (And also, that’s definitely a mark that’s not going to fade away, but also does not carry the risk of accidental turning.)  Where would any of them have/get them?

He do! All the Hales do, it’s a coming off age thing for the wolves and some humans get them as well to show solidarity with their wolf siblings.

John had a tattoo on his left pectoral. His wife Kathryn had hers on her right shoulder. Nathaniel had one between his shoulder blades out of solidarity to his wolf brethren. (He was born human). Talia had hers on the right side of her abdomen just above her hip bone. Merlia had a tramp stamp triskelion. Peter has his over his heart. (The top of the spiral can be seen peeking through some of his deeper v-necks.)

 Laura had hers on her left shoulder. Derek has his between the shoulder blades in honor of his oldest uncle. Chris gets his on his left pectoral after he’s had his youngest child. (In honor of John) Noah gets his on his right pectoral as a mirror image after he’s had his youngest twins. (They talked about it before hand where they’d get them.)

Malia gets hers on her left wrist. Stiles on his right wrist in solidarity. Both of them on the inside. Jackson gets his just below his right collarbone. Allison gets hers just below her left collarbone. Ben gets his on his left arm when he’s old enough.

Not sure about the others but it’ll come to me.

Can you imagine something like that in a traditional a/b/o story? XD  I still think about that product every so often (no idea if they even still make anything like that), and wanted to share the hilarity.

I am wheezing. That’d be so fucking funny XD Anti-Alpha! Alpha be gone! Spray the horny away! (Okay I’ll stop.)

But now I am imagining Stiles making a prank like that where he just gives his pops (Noah) a spray bottle for christmas that says: Spray the horny away! And has a photoshopped picture of Peter on it with a red cross through it.

They have a good laugh about it.