#STILL A WIUP .. .

[astronnova]

:eats concrete:

[aboutelan-blog]

10/24/17 Lunchtime

I watched this interesting PBS video on the topic of time last night. The subject kept me up in a swirl of thoughts, confirming some of my own imaginative thoughts about time and how I think of heaven. Who knows if I'm right, but sometimes it’s fun to think of something and let my imagination run away with it. Before I share what my musings are, I’ll write this: As I was running late this morning – running late with my new perception of time, I realized this isn’t meant to be my end all, be all. This isn’t what I'm supposed to be doing: struggling to get enough sleep, feeling anxious when I oversleep though my body needed the rest, rushing to work, only to get into the formation of repetition.

To ultimately deny myself the expression of my fatigue through rest and expression of creativity to shove myself into the round hole of a static day-to-day despite being a flexible, ever-changing peg.

I want to change and grow and discover what I am fully capable of, and I will despite the unchanging infrastructure I was built and assembled into.  This is the freedom I was striving for. To create endlessly, explore endlessly, rest endlessly, experiencing time outside of the parameters of someone else’s or even society’s limitations. The work world is like a cult. We all signed up to believe this path would give us everything we need, stability for a great life. If businesses weren’t chasing money and employees following suit to chase money through a cut of the profit, we could truly exist for what we’re made to do. Some of us will never know what we’re made for, because we are helping pursue someone else’s dreams and path in life at the expense of ourselves.

I’ll show you world what I'm made of, though technically I already have.

Now for what I've learned about time and what I believe to be true. According to this video: The Past, Present, and Future all currently exist. We all just have different entry points/access points to the “Now.” If someone were visiting me from light years away now, during my now as I’m writing this, they would land at a point in time where they would meet a future Elan. Their Now is future Elan, my now is Elan writing at lunch. We have different nows and here my future would have had to have already happened for their now to take place. Same with the past. My past is someone else’s or something else’s now. My past is still happening, my future has already happened and each moment of now is just another catalogued still photograph period of time that’s being projected in the universe, and where someone or something comes in to view is irrelevant to when it took place for me, but when it takes place for them.

Another thought on time, just because I haven’t done something yet doesn’t mean that my actions already hasn’t had an effect on someone else. My actions may have already shaped the world, which someone or something is experiencing as their now. I just haven’t gotten there yet because I'm still experiencing my now.

We all experience time differently. For some of us, the minutes may linger, palpatable. There’s a weight to it, a heaviness. For others, time may scatter and whiz as if a pin ball or lightning storm. Time is a very personal experience and something unique to us like fingerprints and brain chemistry. What’s even more fascinating, as we find our truth, God has perfect timing for us, because only He knows us best, only he understands the vessel of time.

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There’s a heat in the air that drives out sanity. I’m writing during a fall heat wave in Socal. It’s 90° at 7:34 p.m. My living room has become a sweat lodge.

I believe it was Brené Brown who said to Oprah, “we already have everything we need, we only have to access it, download it from the universe”. If someone/something else now is my future, then that means I can access my future of greatness. I am already great. I already have everything I will be given access to, I only have to stay on the path that I chose because that still frame already exists. And then after that...destruction. All my cells will entropy. Order goes to chaos, death being the inevitable result of this disorder.

Women in Animation

Blue Fever- Content for Women/Millennial

FilmFreeway.com- Submits your content to festivals.

Marketing-

Online release strategy-

·        Reach out to outlets 1-2 months in advance.

·        Connect with blogs like Women’s Empowerment

·        Say I’m having a premiere/that this short is the premiere

·        Have behind the scenes on social media. People want to feel like they’re on the journey with you.

·        If you like someone’s work on social media send them a message: “Your work is cool. We should meet up”

Distribution strategy

·        Vimeo: post on Sunday at 9 p.m. (PST)

Budget- How do you find an investor? / Paid audience, yes or no? Social media strategies to overcome algorithmic hurdles.

*Look up Kristin Lapore

Monetization: Grants, Crowdfunding

Find friends and swap skills.

·        Create a proof of concept. The work doesn’t have to be entirely finished (i.e. create a trailer to pique interests and pitch to investors)

Another site: Now This

Organization called: WIUPS

-         What’s in the hopper?

-         Would it be OK if I brought some early ideas later on?

-         What are some ideas you got that maybe didn’t/did work?

When raising money: Mitigate the risk for investors by sharing stats.

Going on pitches: More often than not, you want to land the pitch, but at the end of the pitch you can get intel into what executives are looking for.

*Look at what festivals or any competition have chosen in the past as winners and see if my work is in line with that.

·        New Platforms → Content refresh

·        Getheartbreak.co

·        Press brief for blogs

·        Ask for fee waivers for festivals

sirenakay@gmail.com

Sirena Irwin

“Mental”- Blue Fever 11/15

“Binge”

“Yes, God, Yes”

We know fear before we know ourselves, who we are.

We’re running away from the person we don’t want to become, not realizing we are running straight into them. If I want to know who I am, I have to know who and what I am running from. I am never the idea of who I think I am.

Sometimes I want people to dream like I do, or at least let me dream in peace.

Every time I hear “no” from a man, it’s like I’m hearing “no” from my dad all over again. It takes me back to a place where I want to die. Recovering from Zach is like recovering from my dad all over again. It’s not an easy process, but the more and more I accept that he’s gone, the easier it gets to live and that’s why I have to go through this, the loss. Am I truly re-living it if I’m letting a little bit of it go each time. Pretty soon I’ll be new.

“I’m offended that you won’t accept my ‘no’ as an autonomous person. Because that’s who I am. I shouldn’t have to tell you I’m in a relationship with another man to get you to back off, as if that defines ownership of me. I’m the property of no one and my ‘no’ should merit more weight than another man’s especially when it comes to matters pertaining to me.” → Line for my script

The person I’m most scared of becoming is my Dad. The anger. He’s vitriolic and sometimes my own anger feels inconsolable. Does this mean I’m becoming him or that I keep myself so wound on a leash in an effort not to become him that I’m losing my grip and this anger is a result of that. Who is future me?