#Salon 52

[oldfilmsflicker]

new-to-me #135 - Salone Love

[mirakeesalon]

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[starry-eyes-love]

Marriage Dynamics- Relaxin' is Hard Work

Main Masterlist    Series Masterlist 

Pairings: Husband Joel Miller x F!Reader (18+ Minors DNI) AU, No outbreak

Summary | Joel takes the day off to spend it with you. You take him to a salon for a couples pedicure and massage, but somehow your wires get crossed and instead of spending the afternoon relaxing, you spend the afternoon working on improving communication in your marriage. Reader mentions she's pregnant, but is too scared to admit it to her husband. Joel eventually figures it out.

Warnings | 18+, Minors DNI. Husband and wife marriage dynamics, age gap (he's 52 and she's 37), language, light smut (reader gets handsy in public), Joel whimpers at her touching him (it needs its own warning), arguments with angst at times, reader berates herself, descriptions of anxiety and panic attacks, reader over thinks things (a lot), terms of endearment used (baby, babe, honey, mama, Angel, etc.), slight flirtatious behavior (what can I say, Joel loves his wife), Joel tickles his wife (it needs its own warning), fluffy parts sprinkled in here and there, reference and descriptions of pregnancy, references to unplanned pregnancy, female reader briefly mentions past abuse with father (yet no in-depth specifics are given), mentions of body issues and body descriptions, mentions of feeling ill (female reader gets sick and vomits in garbage can). Think I got them all. Enjoy :)

Word Count:  6.1k

“Ok sexy mama, I'll get my toes painted” he commented, while reaching down and tickling your belly to hear you laugh some more. You started squealing and squirming as he tickled your stomach, a ticklish spot you had. Joel loved to hear you squeal and break out in a fit of laughter. The more he heard it the more his heart swelled large in his chest and the tighter his pants got in the front. It had been a long time since…

Joel stood there next to you at the counter glancing over all the items that were there, thinking to himself, why do I get myself in these predicaments with her? Here he was taking the day off from work to spend it with you, something that doesn't happen very often. You promised him a fun, relaxing day together. However, as he watched you pay for a couples massage and pedicure, he thought this is not my idea of fun nor relaxin’.  

Earlier that Day

"Darlin', I'm not sure about this," he said as you pulled up to the salon.

"Come on Joel, you're always griping about how your back and feet hurt. Now you can take care of them," you replied while parking the car.

You watched him rub the back of his neck awkwardly saying "I know baby, but me, a pedicure? I mean come on, I thought we were gonna do something fun.”

"Joel, you're gonna love it, trust me.” 

Joel just glared at you as he slowly ground his teeth while releasing a long exhale. He was trying to figure out how he could get out of doing this.

“Babe, you'll really relax doing this.” You said, trying to get him to see reason.

“No I won't Angel. This-” Joel said, waving his hand towards the salon, “is just plain silly. Sure for you it's fun and relaxin’, but for me, it's just silly. If the guys at the construction site ever saw this-”

“The guys at the construction site, is that what you're really concerned about? The guys?”

“Babe, you don't understand.”

“Yeah I get it Joel. God forbid you spend a day with your wife doing something relaxing. How embarrassing that would be for you.”  You replied, letting anger seep into your words.

Joel let out a frustrated sigh saying “Nevermind, ya don't understand.”

You instantly felt a sting of jealousy at his concern, that being seen with his wife would cause him extreme discomfort.  Joel hardly saw you anymore, and he never had a problem doing this stuff with you in the past. In a defeated tone you said, “Fine Joel, I get it. This is silly. But babe, we don't get to spend any time together.”

“And you thought that this was the best way to do it? A damn pedicure? Where the hell does this say ‘Joel Miller would love this,’ huh?” You watched him shake his head and look out the passenger window frustrated.

You felt your internal walls go up, wanting to shut down. To close yourself off from people who hurt you. You wanted to retreat back into the darkness of your mind, not allow anyone in again. You've struggled in life for far too long with this concept of not allowing others in. Joel was the only man who could break down those walls, and now you were struggling not to push him out.

In the past Joel used to do fun little things like this with you, even if they were silly. Hell, he was the first person to introduce you to the world of pedicures and massages when he dated you. It was the best activity the two of you could do with his young preteen daughter when he couldn't find a babysitter. You never minded back then as you just wanted to spend time with your boyfriend. You remember one time you were a little hesitant and Joel eased your nerves by saying ‘Come on darlin.' It doesn't matter what the guys at the construction site or anyone else says. I wanna spend time with you. I know this seems silly, but it'll be relaxin’. I can promise you that, so trust me.’ You found yourself repeating those exact same words to Joel now, begging with your eyes for him to remember.

“Honey, that's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard as to why we should do this. Whoever said that to you was a liar and an idiot” he told you, shaking his head and laughing hard. You quickly looked away and felt the red hot burn in the back of your throat start. He didn't remember his time with you. 

Joel had hardly been home for the past year. His business, Miller Contracting, signed the biggest contract in history about a year ago out of town. Joel was making a large amount of money, his business skyrocketing almost overnight after years of struggle. You, being his wife, were so proud of him, for his ability to never have to struggle with his business again. He had work lined up for the next 3 years for this big development company, and then he just recently signed two more large contracts for other companies. Joel finally had steady work for many more years to come. You knew that Joel Miller was finally set for life with his business. But you couldn't say the same thing for your marriage.

Joel used to do all these silly little things with you. It's what made hard times bearable in the past. But ever since a year ago your husband's attitude has changed. In the past year you felt like you had gone from Joel's loving wife, to a ‘thing’ or an ‘it’ to him.

“I guess you're right,” you said, looking out the window at the salon. You were trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to come at the realization that life was different now. “I don't know what else we could do at the last minute.”

“Yeah, m’ither” Joel said while picking lint off his jeans and refusing to look at you in the face anymore.

“Joel, do you still want to do something with me today?” You waited in silence as he stared out the window, not answering you.

“Joel” you said a little bit louder, still trying for a connection. But yet again, no answer. Uncomfortable silence continued for several minutes, neither one of you uttering a single word. Finally, Joel broke first by exhaling loudly. He then closed his eyes and rested his head against the seat's headrest. 

“Joel, are you still with me honey?” you asked one last time. When silence continued, that's when you understood that you had failed miserably at trying to have a fun and relaxing day.

“I'll just take you home then, leave you alone, and let you rest.” You mumbled out loud, more to yourself. “God y/n, why are you so fucking stupid. If he didn't want to do stuff with you before, he sure as hell won't want to do anything with you now. Stupid, stupid, silly girl.” 

What you didn't realize was that you verbalized your internal turmoil, and the man sitting next to you heard it. Joel hated hearing you berate yourself, a bad habit that you picked up from your father and your father's now divorced ex-wife. Joel knew that he was the cause of your current stress and anxiety. After all, he was the asshole who was never home and when he was, you two were always arguing and fighting all the time.  Sure, you’ve had some amazing days like Halloween night and a promise of a week ago in the car, something that he never followed through with because he got called away to deal with shit at work. He was failing you as your partner and your husband, but most of all he was failing you as your best friend.  You were his best friend, the only person that he loved spending time with. It was just today he didn’t feel up to this silly stuff you wanted to do. He knew he was the one who introduced you to this stuff with Sarah all those years ago, and that today you were just reaching for familiar territory. 

Joel sat there with his eyes closed and continued to listen to you berate yourself out loud. Why does she fucking do this to herself, she knows better, he thought. He was just about to open his mouth and yell at you to knock it off when he heard you whisper “Baby, I don’t know how to tell your daddy that you’re in there. How can I when your daddy and I can't seem to find common ground anymore.”

As soon as he heard your little admission, at the potential of you being pregnant again, Joel snapped his eyes open and looked over at you. How did I not notice this, he thought. He immediately started scanning over your body, looking for any signs that he may have missed. When he stopped and really looked at you he saw them. Your black t-shirt sat more snug around your chest, he could see that your breasts were slightly swollen. Your curves were more profound, not from fat, but from water weight he suspected.  Your tummy, a little pouch forming low on your belly.  That's a baby, he thought. His baby, the one he put there on Halloween night. You always started to show really early on in your pregnancy. According to your doctor it was extra water weight, but to Joel it was a sign of life. Something that he hasn’t seen your body do for many years, considering your youngest boy was now seven.  

Joel continued to trail his eyes slowly back up your features. He noticed the dark circles underneath your eyes. You weren’t sleeping and that worried him.  You two had lost a baby before when you were 22 weeks along, a little girl that came a year before your youngest boy.  He had given you two boys, but he knew you always wanted to try again for a little girl. But somehow life got in the way and you two never tried for a girl again. He was hoping this time around it was a girl.

With remembering your past pregnancies, Joel wondered how you were feeling.  He knew the first stages of pregnancy were hard on you. You’d hardly sleep or eat, nausea being the worst culprit.  With Joshua, your youngest, you could hardly keep anything down during the entire pregnancy.  God, he hoped that wasn’t your fate now. At least he was making enough money to cover all the living expenses, in case you weren't able to work through it like before. 

Joel then allowed his eyes to roam higher up to your eyes, that's when he saw that they were bloodshot. You were crying and berating yourself because of how he made a stupid comment, that he was embarrassed being seen with you at doing a pedicure. Jesus Joel, you’re such a fucking asshole sometimes, he thought. 

He sat there and watched you for a moment, at your struggle to try to stop the tears that were falling from your eyes. Seeing this, hearing your confession and actually looking at you, at how stressed out you were made his heart ache. He hated to see you cry, and yet you've been doing that a lot recently, thanks to him.

"Come on, darlin,'’ you heard Joel say. “My back and feet don't have all day.  Let's get this salon pampering day started.”

"Joel it's ok, we don't have to-" you said, wiping the tears from your eyes.

"No," he said. "It's a perfect idea honey, the best way to relax. I'm so sorry for snapping. I'm just- fuck baby, I'm stressed and struggling to find a proper balance between both worlds. Now come on darlin.’” Joel said, while giving your hand a tender kiss. As you both walked towards the salon, Joel gently intertwined his fingers with yours. He gave small soothing strokes with his thumb, reassuring you that he was here and present for you.

Soon Joel found himself staring at a wall with different colors of nail polish. He was being directed by you to choose a color that he wanted his toes to be painted with. "Darlin', the lady at the counter said I don't need to pick out colored nail polish." 

"Tough cowboy, you're doing it. Plus it'll show support to women everywhere if you do." You tried your hardest to give him a convincing answer of why you wanted him to do this. He just looked at you and smirked, seeing straight through your attempt.

“Supportin' women has nothin' to do with it. Ya just want to laugh at me, that's all." He said, shaking his head at your attempt with reasoning with him. Why do I always get myself in these situations with her?  But as he glanced over he saw you smiling ear to ear. You were practically jumping for joy at the thought of having a couples massage and couples pedicure with him. That's when he knew that all of this was worth it, especially if he could see you look happy and smile like that again. 

“Ok sexy mama, I'll get my toes painted” he commented, while reaching down and tickling your belly to hear you laugh some more. You started squealing and squirming as he tickled your stomach, a ticklish spot you had. Joel loved to hear you squeal and break out in a fit of laughter. The more he heard it the more his heart swelled large in his chest and the tighter his pants got in the front. It had been a long time since the two of you fucked, and God he was missing you.

As you were wiggling in Joel's arms laughing you happened to accidentally brush your hand up against his clothed crotch, and that's when you felt it, a firm prominent bulge. As soon as your hand brushed up against him you heard Joel let out a hiss at the sensation. He then gently nudged his hips against your hand while giving you a little whimper.

“Joel, how long has it been?” you asked, slowly palming him in the front. You were concerned, Joel was never this sensitive to sensation before and he's never whimpered like that just by the meer push of your palm. Oh, poor baby, you thought, you weren't the only one who had been neglected. You palmed him harder, trying to show him what you wanted. You felt him twitch and throb beneath you. “Baby, how long?” you whispered, pushing harder with your hand as he rutted up into you, seeking out more friction.

“Too long,” he panted. “It's been too fucking long since I, since we, fuck woman” he growled and snapped his hips forward, desperately seeking pleasure from you.  He wanted to open his pants and tell you to get down on your knees and to suck his cock. He wanted to fuck your mouth so bad, then bend you over one of those salon chairs and bury himself inside of you. He wanted to show you he could be the man you needed, and be the father for your children. He wanted to put a baby inside of your nice soft-

“Baby, when was your last period?” Joel said, stopping his movements and racing mind for a moment. When you didn't answer he continued by saying “I don't remember when you had your period last. Have you had one in the last two months?”

“Don't worry about it” you said, while slowly pulling your hand away. This was not a conversation you wanted to have right now.

You walked over to the side, a few feet away from Joel and you were pretending to look at the colors of nail polish. What you were really doing was trying to slow your pounding heart in your chest. Joel approached you and slowly started to stroke your little bump saying “how late are we talking mama, huh?”

“Joel it's only 10 am and-”

“S'not what I meant sugar and you know it. Come on mama, how far along are we?” Joel said, flattening his palm over your belly and holding it there. 

You looked into your husband's eyes and saw compassion behind them. You were just about to open your mouth and tell him that you were 3 weeks late when someone said “Y/n and Joel Miller, they're ready for you.”

As soon as you heard them call your names you backed away and grabbed the purple nail polish that was right in front of you. It reminded you of the first time you did this all those years ago with Sarah and him. It made you smile at the warm memory. This one is perfect, you thought. You handed it to Joel saying “I think this color would look great for the both of us.”

When Joel looked down he saw that the nail polish was purple with sparkles in it, your favorite color. When he glanced at your face he saw uncertainty in your eyes at the events that just played out. So with a grin and a squeeze from his large hand he grabbed the jar from you and said “Ok, purple it is. Now come on mama, let's go and get you nice and relaxed.” 

Three hours later Joel was slowly relaxing. He was laying on his stomach, purple sparkly toe nails poking through the blanket, as a very attractive woman worked the hell out of his shoulders. Kiara, Joel's masseuse, was an expert in deep tissue massage. After the staff found out that he basically was one big hard tight knot, he was advised that deep tissue massage would be the best option.

"Aw darlin' right there," Joel said as Kiara worked on his lower back. 

"Mr. Miller, you're so stiff and tight. It's gonna take me a bit to work you fully out. Does it feel better when I press right here?" Kiara asked, pushing on Joel's lower back, a place you knew turned your husband on.

"Ah yeah, right there" Joel grunted at the sensation.

You were on your own massage table being worked on by Fredrick, a middle aged man with a beer gut. While Joel had Kiara, a 42 year old big breasted, fully fit porn star looking woman. You know, the type of women your husband likes to look at when he's browsing those adult only sites. 

As you continued to watch Kiara flirt with your husband, you felt your insecurities creep up into your skull, worrying you.  You had no idea if Joel would be ok with this unplanned pregnancy. You knew the old Joel would be ok with it. But now you had no idea how he'd react, especially with how he has behaved this past year.  The longer this went on, the more your irrational fears seeped deep into your subconscious. 

When Joel moaned for the third time in less than five minutes at Kiara asking him if something felt good, you found yourself snapping at your husband.  "Joel, for the love of God, can you please just shut the hell up? Really, no one wants to hear how good it feels to have someone else touch you." You didn't know why, but you were upset, angry, and hurt all at the same time. Somehow hearing someone else pull those little sighs or grunts out of your husband bothered the hell out of you.

"Look here woman, I'm enjoying myself, ok? Your fault for making me do this. So pull back the attitude now." He said, snapping at you.

After a moment he added, "What's with your attitude anyways today, huh?" 

"I don't know Joel, why don't you tell me."

"Look here missy, I don't know what's up your ass today. But whatever it is, it can just stop. Don't ruin this for me with your petty bullshit. Got it?" he said, with a warning in his voice.

"Petty bullshit, really? Are you kidding me Joel? You promised me you’d spend time with me today. And-”

“And what y/n? What more could you possibly want from me today than what I’m already giving you?”

When you didn't open your mouth to argue, Joel assumed the problem was solved. That you'd stop throwing your little temper tantrum. But what he didn't realize was that the emotion you were now feeling wasn't one of defiance. You were feeling neglected and you didn't want to do this day anymore. You thought you could have a fun day with your husband, like you used to when you two dated. But now, you just wanted to go home, and pretend that today and this past year never happened. You wanted your husband to be around, present more, and not treat you like you were someone who was a burden or a checkmark on a list. You wanted to pretend that your husband still cared. 

When you counted it up, it had been almost two months since you and Joel had sex last. To make matters worse, your period was almost 3 weeks late. You were worried about what he'd say when he found out.  You were pregnant, that much was evident on the pregnancy test that you had taken over a week ago. You knew that your fears right now were irrational, that you were just making something out of nothing. But to you your fears felt very real.  And with Joel smiling and laughing so easily with Kiara, it made your stomach hurt and twist in knots at the thought that he didn't want you anymore. 

You were so lost in your own head, that you didn’t notice that Fredrick had stopped massaging your back.  He could sense how tense your body was, and the turmoil of feelings that you were feeling. "Mrs. Miller, are you ok?" he whispered.  When you didn’t respond to him right away, he said louder “Mrs. Miller, are you ok?”

As soon as Joel heard the question from Fredrick he snapped his head to the side to look at you. When he saw you, you were laying face down, your hand up by your mouth as you were sobbing into the table.  “Baby, are you ok?” Joel asked, worried and concerned of what made you fall apart like this.  

"Yeah, I'm. I'm fine” you said, trying not to have your voice break. “Can you um- can you please excuse me. I gotta- I don’t feel well.”  You then got up, and walked into the changing room that was attached, tears still streaming down your face.

As Joel watched you walk away he knew this little adventure the two of you were having today was over with.  He apologized to Kiara and Fredrick, stating that the both of you would be leaving early. As he went to his own dressing room to get dressed, he started thinking to himself.  He knew that you were stressed out a lot, and that the two of you were having problems. He also knew that you just wanted a day to relax with him, so seeing you like this broke his heart. You have cried a lot recently and he could understand why, but it still bothered him. He didn't mean to snap at you today, he was just stressed out himself. He began to realize though that his stressors and your stressors were drastically different.

Something was up with you, that much was certain. You were more sensitive and emotional recently. If he attempted to ask you about it, you'd just blow up at him. Usually when you were more emotional it meant that you were by or on your period. But Joel was confused, especially with seeing those other bodily signs that you were having. Were you pregnant and he just didn't see it? Or were you having flare ups of your gynecological problems again and he wasn't noticing it. He was so busy with work that he didn't remember if you had your period yet, that's why he asked you earlier today. He was trying to calm his own irrational fears of being an inattentive husband. 

The problem was he didn't know what was off or how to fix it with you. If your admission earlier was true, that you were in fact pregnant, then why did you hide it from him and not tell him?  Were you embarrassed in carrying his child? Joel was lost in thought, trying to figure out what he could do that he almost missed hearing you get sick in the other room. As soon as he heard the telltale signs of you throwing up he muttered to himself “shit,” and finished getting dressed.

While Joel was in his dressing room getting lost in thought, you were in yours doing the same thing. You quietly dressed in your changing room, trying to calm the tears that were flowing. As you looked down you noticed the little bump you had. You kept trying to flatten your shirt overtop of it, to hide it from the world. You weren’t upset that you were pregnant, you were just overwhelmed at the moment and didn't want to think about it.  But the more you tried to suck in your gut, to flatten your shirt, you started to slowly panic. You tried tucking in your shirt, then you untucked it, nothing worked to hide what was growing inside of you. You couldn't hide the embarrassment of getting pregnant from a man who you didn’t think wanted you anymore. In your experience, which was limited, an unplanned pregnancy when there were marital problems never resulted in a happy ending for the mother or wife. As this realization hit you, you felt the bile rise up fast in your throat.  Your hands were shaking, and you were drowning in your own irrational fears and anxiety. Worst part, no matter what you did you couldn't calm yourself down.

Tears began to flow hard again from your eyes as you tried anything to stop the anxiety from swallowing you whole. You felt like you were suffocating, drowning in a pool of uneasiness.  Your vision went fuzzy, your ears started to ring, and the whole world started to spin on its axis. You reached out and were fumbling around the room, trying to find something to grab onto to center yourself. As soon as you grabbed the garbage can your knees buckled and you collapsed. Your heart was pounding in your ears and you felt the bile rise up fast again in your throat. You grabbed the garbage can just in time as your body heaved the entire contents out of your stomach into the trash.  

You were retching so hard into the garbage, shaking with panic as tears flowed down your face that you never heard the door open and a man approach you. Your anxiety was swallowing you whole and you said with a breathless plea to yourself, in-between vomiting sessions, that you were scared and couldn't do this anymore. Then like a miracle from heaven, you felt those familiar rough hands gently reach out and center you once again.

When Joel entered the room his heart sank at seeing you collapsed on the ground and retching into the garbage can. You were pleading for someone to help you, to make the pain and anxiety stop. You were drowning in your own anxiety and it broke his heart. No one hurts my babies, he thought, especially him.

Joel slowly walked up to you and gently reached out to gather your hair into his hands. After he pulled it back from your face he placed one of his hands gently on your tummy, while whispering “Shh, mama. Take a breath. Come on now, you’re okay. I'm right here and I ain’t leavin’. Shhh.” He continued to rub soothing circles on your belly, right where the little bump was.  When you were finished emptying the contents of your stomach Joel grabbed a towel and gently wiped your mouth saying “well, I thought that wasn’t gonna happen for a while yet.”

“What?” you said, confused, feeling completely worn out by today’s events.

“Baby, you do a bad job at hiding it.” Joel said with a smirk on his lips.

“Joel, I don’t know what you’re-” and then it dawned on you, he heard you. He heard your admission in the car that you were pregnant.  As soon as that realization hit you, Joel watched your eyes go wide as you started to shake your head violently back and forth. You stood up and immediately started backing away from him, eyes blown wide with anxiety and panic once again.

Joel slowly stood up and watched you as realization took hold of you of your earlier admission. “Baby, take a breath for me, ok?” he said, trying to calm the fear and panic that you had. As he slowly approached you he said “sugar you gotta slow your breathing down, come here, let me help you.” He slowly reached out to you so you could center yourself.

“No, no, no. You can't know, I can't do this alone. Please God, why is this happening to me?” you said out loud, not wanting the world to fall apart around you.  You didn’t want this discussion now, not when you didn’t know what you could do.  You didn’t want him to kick you out, to say that you disappointed him, that you were a disappointment.  Joel never said those words to you, your father did when he found out that you were dating his best friend. And the way your father dealt with it was to kick you out of the house, after he berated you in front of Joel. You knew Joel wasn't your father, but in this moment your father’s voice and Joel’s voice blurred together in your head.

When you felt your back hit the wall you knew that your running was over. You had to face the man in front of you, whether or not you wanted to.  You instinctively wrapped your arms around your chest, hanging your head low when the sob that you’ve been holding back all day finally broke free from your chest and swallowed you whole.  Your knees buckled and you started to fall to the floor like a ton of bricks sobbing hysterically saying “I can't be homeless again. I can't do this abuse again.”

Joel wasn't trying to scare you, he just wanted to center you and stop you from spiraling out of control. But when he saw your knees buckle he said “shit” and moved fast to catch you. He then wrapped his big arms around you, and pulled you tight to his chest as you let out all of the anxiety and frustration of the last several weeks.

“Come on now little one, don’t cry” he said, calling you a nickname he hasn’t called you for a long time. 

“I’m sorry Joel, I’m sorry” you kept saying, as you let out all of your pent up anxiety.

“No. Come on baby, don’t say that. You got nothin’ to be sorry for. Let's slow your breathing down, yeah? Alright little one, how ‘bout you breathe with me.” He said, speaking softly into your ear. You felt him slowly lower his hand to the small of your back, rubbing tiny circles on your skin, attempting to quiet your tears. You also started to match his breathing with long inhales and slow exhales.  

After listening to him breathe and matching his breathing for a while he slowly lowered his hand to your belly and gently started stroking it.  You then heard Joel whisper in your ear, “I love you baby, no matter what. I need you to know that I’ll never leave you, no matter what. Ok?”

When you didn’t respond he took a step back, bent down and looked you straight in the eyes.  You nodded your head slightly, attempting a weak smile as you finally had calmed yourself down. He stared at you for a moment, assessing your features to see if you truly were done with your panic attack or if you still were in it.  When he realized that you weren’t going into another one, he gently tucked you into his side and whispered “ok mama, how ‘bout we get you home so you can lay down and relax. You've had a tough day honey.” 

After a few silent minutes of gathering your things together, eventually the two of you started to walk for the exit of the changing room.  Before you exited the doorway you said “Joel um- I got something I wanna say.”

Joel stopped and looked down at you, gently nodding his head.  This was it, the moment you were going to say that you were pregnant.  You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. You started to panic and overthink things again.  What happens if he’s mad at me and yells at me again? You were silently having an internal tug-o-war with yourself. 

Inside Joel was frustrated with himself that you couldn’t be honest with him. He was silently scolding himself for creating this environment in which you didn’t feel 100% comfortable with talking with him.  Something that he promised himself that he would change, starting right now.  As he stood there and watched you play tug-o-war with your mind, he tried to give you the warm environment of being relaxed, yet his own stomach was churning and twisting itself into knots.

“Joel, uh-”

“Yes darlin’” he said, coaxing you gently to speak.

“I- uh. Shit.” you couldn’t do it, no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t say the words ‘Joel I’m pregnant.’  

Joel could see that you weren't ready, but he wanted to give you the reassurance that you needed. He reached his hand out and gently placed it on your belly, on top of the little bump and said “I know mama, it's scary. You can tell me in your own time when you feel comfortable, yeah? Just know that no matter what, I love you.”

He gently kissed the top of your head, and with a smile he ushered you out towards the front desk.  He sent you out to the car to relax as he squared away the fees for you being sick. When he got back into the car he groaned for a moment at the feeling of his back tightening up again.

“I don’t get how ya women think this is relaxin’.” He said, looking over at the salon as he put the car in reverse. “My back feels like it’s in a million more knots now. Shit.”

With a small smirk you said “Joys of deep tissue massage honey.”

“Yeah well, I feel like I went 20 rounds with that damn massage table. It kicked my ass good and hard too. This relaxin’ stuff is hard work hon.” Joel said, slightly groaning while having another back spasm.

“No, I just think it means that you're an old grumpy man,” you said, nonchalantly. 

Joel was stopped at the light, waiting for it to turn green. He glanced over at you, eyes wide at your statement of him being an old grumpy man. “S’not funny babe,” he grumbled.

“Well honey, it's the truth” you whispered, as you softly kissed his cheek. “At least we know this still works” you added, giving him a playful bite to his ear as you gently cupped your husband's crotch. You palmed him for a moment and felt him slowly enlarge at your words. 

“Does that feel good baby?” You asked in a sultry tone, as you slowly stroked your husband's cock through his jeans.

“Ya already know it does,” he said, in a husky voice.

You gave him one more chaste kiss and a firm squeeze before you removed your hand. As you slowly turned your head to look out the window you felt your husband's hand on your thigh. He was rubbing small soothing circles there. It was his way of reassuring you that he cared and was still here for you. You lightly grabbed his hand and placed it firmly against your lower tummy, humming as he began to stroke your little bump there too. You couldn't verbalize it to him yet, but this was your silent way of reassuring him that you were in fact pregnant. 

Joel melted into this touch, the feel of your little bump, of his baby growing inside of you. This small simple measure finally calmed his fears. He knew that you loved him and that he loved you. No matter what he was going to be there for you and help you through this. Even though he was 52, and you were 37, and having an unexpected pregnancy was never ideal. Joel loved you and this little baby more than anything. As he silently rubbed your tummy he thought to himself everything is gonna be alright. And I can't believe that I'm gonna be a dad again ❤️

-End Part 3 Prologue-

A/N: More will come in the future with these two (proper chapters) as we take them through their pregnancy journey together. If you're interested in reading their origin story, make sure to check out the other series titled Love Never Fails coming out January 2024.

Taglist: @punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg @chiogarza @jesfreedark @untamedheart81 @rainbow12346 @nandan11 @swiftpascal @eliza-8 @joeldjarin @vickie5446 @nastiasnow @staywildflowahchild @ratoonstown @l3lazeit @its-always-420-on-the-moon @kirsteng42

[tumbleweed-writes]

hi babe. from your smut prompt list can we have #50 #52 with Chibs? thank uuu

Homecoming: Chibs Telford X Reader

18+ of course.

=======

When Y/N had fled Santa Monica heading up north to the idyllic little town of Charming, she’d only had the intention of wanting to be closer to her older sister. Lyla Dovorak was technically Y/N’s half sister. They shared the same mother and were only a couple of years apart.

Lyla was barely two years old when Y/N was born. 

Their mother, Ruth, had a tendency to approach romance with the strange idea that perhaps getting pregnant with her romantic partners might keep them around. Of course this had never worked in her favor.

Ruth tended to pick men who were more interested in getting laid than actually sticking around after the afterglow faded. She’d not gone for guys who stuck around when things got difficult. 

Lyla’s father had left as soon as the pregnancy test had turned blue which had been a problem as Ruth had been barely sixteen then and her baby’s father had been about to turn twenty and according to Ruth wealthy enough to make it seem as though there was no way he’d fathered a child with white trash like Ruth.

Y/N’s father had not been much better. The man had run off with the single neighbor, who lived in the mobile home across from them, when Y/N was two which had been a problem as he’d  left Lyla and Y/N home alone for their mother to find after she’d gotten home from her waitressing gig.

There had been a revolving door of men after that, but Ruth had at least been done with attempting to keep a significant other via pregnancy. The men had not been the nicest and Lyla and Y/N had been forced to see a few things that they were not psychologically prepared for. 

Needless to say Lyla’s and Y/N’s homelife as children had not been without dysfunction. 

Y/N and Lyla had both long ago accepted that their mother’s choices were born out of a low self esteem and probably a bit of immaturity thrown into the mix.

The woman had mellowed out with age. Ruth had finally settled down with a decent guy; some trucker named Lou who was not entirely in the best of health, but at least treated their mother with respect and had been willing to take on two step daughters even if the women were grown adults and well past the age of feeling that they needed a dad. 

Lyla and Y/N had both unfortunately had their own unfair shots at love. 

Lyla’s ex had left when she was pregnant with Piper. Lyla had been a young single mom desperate to make ends meet doing something more profitable than waitressing like their mother had done.

Lyla had found that sex work was the best way to make ends meet. Working for Cara Cara was not Lyla’s dream career but she was smart enough to know that her looks could pull in plenty of money and she needed to strike while the iron was hot.

Y/N herself had always been the more reserved sibling. She was shy and less likely to ever be comfortable expressing her sexuality as openly as Lyla did even for a paycheck.

She’d taken a creative path going to cosmetology school and earning a license. She’d thought she could work for movie studios but had only landed a job in a nice salon. She did not do hair and nails for Hollywood starlets, but instead took care of upscale clientele.

It was a cushy job and she was well paid for her services. It was not what she’d been hoping for though.

Her romantic life had also been riddled with disappointment.

She’d dated immature guys who were not ambitious about anything other than playing video games all day or intense guys who only cared about hitting up the nightclubs and engaging in illicit substances. 

She had a tendency to attract men who did not respect her nor appreciate her attempts at love.

Her biggest disappointment had pushed her up north. 

Y/N had been engaged to a long time boyfriend who on paper had seemed like a great match. He was actually ambitious when it came to his career. He didn’t do anything more than enjoy the occasional glass of wine. He had charm and was conventionally handsome. He’d bought her a large diamond engagement ring and made all sorts of promises about the future. 

Unfortunately he had proven to Y/N time and time again that he did not appreciate her nor respect her. 

Their relationship had consisted of him breaking her heart repeatedly; claiming he was a changed man and then proving he’d not changed at all. It had become a cycle. They got back together, he cheated, he blamed her, she broke up with him, he came to her crying claiming he wanted to change, and she took him back. Then the cycle would start again.

Y/N knew it was pathetic taking him back over and over again knowing he would disappoint her each time. 

To be honest, Y/N felt nothing but pity for the girl she’d been back then.

The final straw had been her fiance fucking someone who Y/N had regarded as being her best friend in their bed. 

Y/N had walked in on it and that had been enough to end the cycle.

She’d taken off to the safety she knew her half sister could provide her in hopes that her heart would mend itself in a new environment.

She’d not been anticipating finding love. Love had been the last thing on Y/N’s mind.

Chibs Telford had not been looking for love either, so imagine his shock when he’d entered the clubhouse and spotted the pretty young woman playing red hands with Kenny Winston. 

He had gotten the strangest sense of fondness as he observed the young woman yank her hands back just in time to avoid having them slapped by the youngest Winston boy before Piper Dovorack had taken Kenny’s place proving that he did not have as quick of reflexes as his aunt.

Chibs had barely had a chance to question her presence as Lyla and Opie had entered the room making the introductions for him. 

Chibs was surprised to admit that he’d felt the strangest sense of relief at the realization that Auntie Y/N was not just here to help Lyla prepare for her wedding to Opie the next year, but was here to stay as she’d signed the lease on an apartment and had taken a job at a salon in town.

He knew he’d have to be blind not to admit that she was an attractive young woman. He had spotted an attractive figure even if she’d been wearing dark denim overalls and converse over a tight little tank top given that she’d dressed for comfort due to the fact that she’d spent her morning moving into her new apartment. She’d not been wearing a spot of makeup but he’d found she had an attractive complexion that showed a few signs of freckling due to too much sun. Her hair had looked soft and her skin had seemed as though it would feel pleasant under his touch. 

He’d felt foolish for admiring her as much as he had. He had a feeling Lyla would be displeased that he had been thinking about how soft and perfect her little sister would feel under his body. 

He’d been unaware that Y/N had found the older Scotsman appealing. He was not like any man she might have previously found alluring. She wanted to blame the accent, but she had to admit that he was charming. It was in the way he’d shaken her hand upon their introduction. A voice in the back of her head had insisted that it was obvious by the way he’d held her hand that he knew how to treat a lady. She’d found that he had a nice smile and kind eyes. 

She’d of course noticed the scars along his cheeks but had found that she could not find them to be evidence of danger. If anything it was a sign that he’d been at the receiving end of cruelty and she felt that she would be callous to make any judgment based on a past injury. 

A voice in the back of her head had told her that she might be kind of screwed when it came to a guy as appealing as Chibs.

The feeling had only grown when she’d realized how good Chibs was with the Teller and Winston children as well as her nephew Piper. There was something quite alluring about a guy who was good with kids. He was willing to goof off with them and show them affection and it was adorable.

Y/N’s trips to the clubhouse had become a little more frequent than she anticipated, especially once Gemma had taken a liking to her partially due to Y/N’s willingness to take Gemma on as a hair client and maintain Gemma’s highlights for a cheaper rate than she’d been getting at her previous salon.

It had also helped that Y/N had provided Abel Teller with his first haircut which had made Tara fond of her. Her willingness to trim hair for any Sons who might show interest had endeared her to the MC.

When Lyla visited the clubhouse, Y/N always followed. Soon enough Y/N had received invites without Lyla being included.

Chibs had told himself that he didn’t have time to focus on Y/N’s visits to the clubhouse.

Soon after the Sons' return from Belfast Ireland, the majority of the MC had been arrested and placed serving a 14 month sentence out in Stockton.

Chibs, Opie, Kozik, Piney, and a few prospects had been left to keep the club afloat. 

He’d told himself that any strange sense of fondness he felt for Lyla’s little sister was only a distraction from his responsibilities to the Sons.

He had to admit she was a glorious distraction though. He found her to be pleasant to look at and even more pleasurable to speak to. He’d found that he  maybe went out of his way to chat with her and flirt more than a little when she was around.

Much to his annoyance he was not the only one who found her to be a pleasant distraction. He’d noticed the heart eyes that Kozik and a few of the prospects had sent her way.

A couple of the non-patched club hang-arounds had also taken notice of Lyla’s pretty sister.

When one club hangaround had trapped Y/N in a conversation during a Friday night party, Chibs had swooped in and saved her from the conversation by insisting he had something to show her in the garage.

He’d had to present that something he wanted to show her as an innocent invitation to share a joint on the roof of TM Auto. To his relief, if she'd sensed he was jealous about the attention she’d been receiving from the men around the club, she had not called him out on it.

She’d maybe spilled her heart to him on that roof, opening up about the reason she’d moved from Santa Monica, the joint making her feel relaxed enough to be blunt. “Nothing prepared me for coming home to the man I intended to marry only to find my best friend riding him out in our bed. I knew something was going on between them with all the time they seemed to be spending together, but I was naive enough to hope that they’d just been trying to get along for my sake. I always thought they hated each other and were trying to get along because I’d assumed they both cared about me. They proved to me that they fucking got along alright. They’d been fucking behind my back for months. I wanted to drag the bitch off his dick by her hair. I wish I had yanked her out of bed and beat her face in.”

“What’d ye do?” Chibs had dared to ask, surprised to find that he felt a sense of hurt for Y/N as he listened to the story. He did not miss the pain in her voice. The thought of her feeling betrayed by two people she had loved bothered him.

“I just threw my engagement ring at them…and screamed…there was a lot of screaming.” She remarked, rolling her eyes.

She paused, shaking her head taking another deep hit off the joint before passing it back to him. “If I could go back, I would have at least trashed some of his things…maybe I would have scratched those stupid pans he’d never let me use…He was a chef, my ex fiance. He was really paranoid about me touching anything he bought for the kitchen. I should have taken a freaking SOS pad to those stupid pans and stolen some of his knives or something.  I was too hurt to be vengeful at the moment.”

“Aye, fer what its worth he probably wasn’t worth the energy. The real punishment is him losin a lass like ye.” Chibs blurted out the words leaving his lips before he could stop them.

The reaction she’d given him made his heart skip a beat. She’d leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek, her voice soft. “You’re a sweet man, Chibs Telford.”

“Filip, Love.” He blurted out thankful it was dark enough that she could not see the flush to his cheeks.

“Filip?” She dared to ask, he nodding his head the words leaving him.

“Aye, That’s my name…Ye can call me that if ye want.”

And she had taken his invitation to call him Filip not noticing the teasing comments it had earned him from his brothers who had overheard it nor the raised eyebrow from Gemma, Tara, and Lyla.

Chibs had wanted to make his move on Y/N more times than he could count but a voice in the back of his head told him that she was fragile due to how her last relationship had ended.

He’d told himself that he was in a fragile place as well. Fiona had just a month prior sent him a request for divorce proving that even with Jimmy O’ out of the picture that their marriage had no chance of continuing.

He’d signed the papers willingly but it had still been an upsetting end to a chapter of his life. 

He’d told himself that Y/N and he were both vulnerable and starting anything up with one another would be ruinous for them both.

The chance to challenge that decision had come when Lyla had shown up to TM Auto looking pissed off, the words leaving her lips as she stared up at Opie. “My sister’s fucking ex fiance showed up last night. She slammed the door in his face but he won’t get the clue. He’s practically harassing her at this point. She needs some back up.”

She’d barely had the chance to say the words before Chibs had been taking off towards his bike the words leaving him. “Where is he?”

Opie had followed Chibs, ignoring the exchanged glances among their brothers over Chibs eagerness to jump into action at the mere mention of Y/N being harassed by her ex.

When Chibs and Opie arrived at Y/N’s place they’d found her ex holding her wrist all too tightly, the pair clearly arguing as she struggled against the man’s hold.

Chibs had acted fast, stepping forward his voice holding a dangerous edge. “Ye best back off her, Lad.”

Y/N’s ex had stared up at Chibs and the kutte on his back, his eyes widening just the slightest at least smart enough to sense danger. He spoke trying to sound more confident than he felt. “This is between my fiancée and me.”

“Ex fiancée. I’m only sayin it one more time, Ye let go of her and get the fuck outta her life.” Chibs growled, stepping closer.

Her ex had proven that perhaps he was not as bright as he should have been because he released Y/N squaring up to Chibs forming fists. “Are you going to make me leave, Scotty?”

“Aye, I am.” Chibs had snapped, throwing a punch before her ex even had a chance to act.

There had been a few thrown fists and some chaos as the two men decided to have a full blown fist fight.

Y/N had done her best to verbally break up the fight but Opie had stepped in physically breaking up the fight. 

In the end, her ex fiance had been beaten down and freaked out enough to leave her apartment. Opie had followed to make sure that the guy left and stayed gone.

Chibs had wound up with Y/N pressing a bag of frozen peas to his swollen eye while forcing him to hold a bag of carrots to his knuckles. She had scolded him as she assessed his injuries.

He could still remember her words. “That was a horrible idea, Filip. How do you know my ex isn’t going to call the cops? Noah is a sore loser. He’s competitive. It’s stupid how competitive he can get. He doesn’t like losing. He wouldn’t even let me win at Monopoly. He has this stupid male pride that he refuses to set down for even a second. You beating the crap out of him is most likely just going to make him more determined to win me back because he can’t stand the idea of losing. If he calls the cops what are you going to do, huh? The last thing you guys need is another member of the MC getting in trouble with the cops. How could you do something so impulsive and dangerous and so fucking sweet?”

He’d decided that the best way to end the browbeating she was giving him was by leaning in his lips pressing to her’s, his voice sounding so certain. “I’m only sweet fer ye, Love. I think yer well worth the arrest risk.”

As soon as his lips had met hers she had returned the kiss the bags of frozen veggies easily forgotten.

The kiss should have been the step they needed to take to get together but his cell phone ringing had broken the spell they’d been under.

It had been club business of course.

As soon as the call had ended Chibs’ logic had kicked his romantic heart to the ground, a voice in the back of his head reminding him that Y/N was too vulnerable to fall into this with him. He was not going to use her as some rebound.

He was a criminal and he would bring her nothing but heartache, the voice had insisted. He was not the kind of guy who she needed to put her heart back together. 

He’d barely said goodbye leaving her apartment only blurting out something about the club needing him.

He’d ignored her after that. He’d ignored her for a month and it had broken both their hearts.

The invite from Lyla to another Friday night party had been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Chibs had thrown himself into croweaters as an attempt to shut his stupid heart up over the subject of Y/N. It had not been working. Every woman he took to bed was compared to what he told himself he could have with Y/N. The croweaters paled in comparison to the wonders of Y/N. 

The sight of Y/N walking into the clubhouse with Lyla had been a bittersweet sight for Chibs Telford. Y/N had been wearing a little black mini skirt that made her legs look glorious and he’d wanted to go right over to her and drop down to his knees while begging her to give him a second chance.

Chibs Telford was a stubborn bastard when he wanted to be though. He’d pulled a blonde croweater with impressive implants into his lap and pretended that he didn’t notice the hurt in Y/N’s features.

She’d told herself she was stupid for feeling hurt over him. Chibs Telford was just a man; a stupid attractive man with an accent she found comforting and a touch that made her heart do funny things. He was a man she’d felt so protected with. He was a man who had listened to her spill her heart about her ex over a shared joint. He was the man who made the prospects and club hang-arounds back off when they were getting too enthusiastic and obnoxious with attempts to hit on her. He was a man who made her laugh and was wonderful with her nephew and soon to be step niece and nephew. He was a man who she had previously viewed as being the sweetest man she’d ever met.

She didn’t know what asshole had body-snatched Chibs Telford, because his behavior over the last month had proven to her that he was not a sweet man.

She told herself she should not be surprised that Chibs had turned out to be less than what she’d hoped for. Chibs Telford was just another disappointment for her.

She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing that he had hurt her. She had welcomed Kozik when the blonde Son had taken a seat by her at the bar and had struck up a conversation with her.

She’d given him a tired smile between sips of her whiskey and cola as he leaned in and spoke to her. “You’ve not been around much lately. It feels like I haven’t seen you in weeks now. Are you okay? I hope I’m not overstepping by commenting that you seem sad”.

“You aren’t overstepping. I am sad.” She commented, shrugging her shoulders, hating that she couldn't resist glancing Chibs’ way. 

She felt her heart twist unable to ignore that he now had a croweater on either side of him, his hands roaming their bodies, both women stroking his hair and his thighs clearly giving him the attention he wanted. The sight made her feel nauseated. 

Kozik caught her line of sight, moving between Chibs and her, as he spoke. “I guess that’s what’s been keeping you away…I figured as much. I’ve noticed he’s been weird lately, avoiding you. Anytime he hears you’re around, he disappears…if it's any comfort, Chibs is kind of an idiot. Not even kind of one, he’s a moron. I don’t think he’s worth the heartache, Babe. I know I have the reputation for not being the brightest guy around here or at least according to Tig I’m kind of a dumbass, but even I can see that Chibs has been a real dick to you for about a month now. He’s not worth feeling sad over if he is comfortable making you feel this awful.”

“You aren’t dumb, Kozik. I’m sure you’re right. I think I just got my hopes up with him. Isn’t the first time I got my heart set on some asshole and it probably won’t be the last time.” She commented having to admit that Herman Kozik’s words were comforting even if she was not entirely sure her heart wanted to believe that Chibs was a totally irredeemable asshole.

Kozik spoke nodding down to her almost empty drink. “Let me get you another.”

He waved at the croweater behind the bar who happily provided her with an overfilled glass. Kozik spoke again, his voice picking up a hint of confidence. “I promise I’m not trying to swoop in while you’re vulnerable, but I can promise you that not all guys in a kutte are total assholes. I think I’m a pretty good example, not to toot my own horn. Trust me, Babe. Maybe Chibsy just wasn’t man enough to admit that you’re a catch, but his loss could be my gain. No pressure, just saying, you’re a real great girl and I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers.”

She was surprised by the laugh that left her, it felt good to at least know she was desirable.

Chibs’ clear rejection of her had wounded her ego. It had been bad enough that he’d been ignoring her after that shared kiss at her apartment. It had only felt worse to realize that he didn’t even have the balls to reject her verbally. 

He dodged her phone calls and disappeared the second she showed up at the clubhouse. She’d not missed how he’d seemed to have a croweater around more often than not the few times she’d dared to show up to a Friday night bash with Lyla.

She had thought about confronting him over what an absolute asshole he was being. She was not going to chase a man who didn’t want her though. She was done chasing men who didn’t appreciate her. 

It would be one thing if he told her the kiss had been a mistake and he wasn't into her. 

It felt worse to have him just treat her like she’d never been important at all. 

She had begun to question if there was something wrong with her. There had to be something fundamentally wrong with her if every man she attracted proved that he did not want her and preferred the company of other women.

She did not notice Chibs’ eyes on her as Kozik leaned in closer, the blonde reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she replied to the comment. “You seem like an alright guy, Herman.”

“Ouch, just alright, and Herman? Two blows in one compliment.” He was quick to remark the statement, working another laugh from her, making Chibs blood boil.

She rolled her eyes, the smile still on her lips as she spoke. “Hey, it is your name. For the record, I don’t think you’re swooping in. Maybe you have a point. His loss might be your gain. We might have to test the theory.”

A few of the drunker party goers had decided to take advantage of the low eighties love ballad playing over the jukebox in the corner of the clubhouse and dance.

Kozik saw an opportunity, he quick to speak. “Oh, I’d like to test it out, Even if I’m only alright? Do you think you might be willing to humor Alright Herman with one dance? You know, soothe my bruised ego?”

She found that she was caring less about Chibs and his croweater friends as she took Kozik’s hand allowing him to pull her over to join the other drunk slow dancers.

Chibs watched his blood boiling over as he watched Kozik pull Y/N close, his arms wrapping around her resting against the small of her back. He watched Y/N hold on to the man, her arms wrapping around his shoulders.

They were pressed so close to one another and the sight made Chibs want to vomit.

He watched them sway they carrying on a low conversation that seemed to be working the occasional smile and laughter from Y/N.

A voice in the back of Chibs’ head told him that he had no one to blame but himself. He had pushed her away and straight into the arms of another man. He made his bed and had to lie in it now.

He felt a louder stubborn voice speak up insisting that no he did not have to lie back and accept the misery.

He had to fix this. He had to at least try to fix it.

He shoved the croweaters off him feeling disgusted that he’d let this go on for so long now. He was deluding himself into thinking he could fall back into encounters with croweaters as though it would silence his heart. His heart wanted what it wanted and he was just breaking it by denying it what it desired. 

He held his head up high making his way over to the couple clearing his throat louder than necessary.

Y/N gazed up at him, sending him a look that he was certain could kill him if such a thing were possible. She spoke disdain for him clear in her voice. “What do you want?”

“I want to talk to ye.” Chibs blurted out cringing at the comment knowing that this was not the best way to broach this subject.

She rolled her eyes quick to respond, the hurt evident in her voice. “I’m busy, Chibs. You seemed like you were pretty busy too. You should get back to the croweaters before someone scoops them up. Make sure you use protection. There’s a strain of gonorrhea out there that’s antibiotic resistant. You might be an asshole but I wouldn’t wish an untreatable STD on even you. ”

Chibs grimaced at the comment part of him wanting to give up and admit defeat. He’d fucked it all up and she had no interest in him fixing anything.

He held back the desire to give up though telling himself that he had to man up and do what he should have done that day they’d kissed at her apartment. “I might be an arse, but I wanta explain myself, Love. Can ye give me the chance to at least do that. If ye still hate my guts after I talk to ye in private, then ye can come back in here and I’ll leave ye alone forever.”

She sighed surprised as Kozik pulled back from her the blonde looking just as defeated as Chibs seemed to feel. It seemed that the blonde Son knew he was attempting to woo a woman who belonged to someone else even if she was pissed at that someone else. “I’ll still be here, if you decide you hate him. I don’t want to stand in the way of anything. I’ll give you guys a moment.”

She sighed wanting to snap that she was sick of men telling her what to do. She wanted to snap at Kozik that he was betraying her by leaving her to talk to Chibs.

She scoffed, crossing her arms as she turned to head to the club’s entrance. She called out behind her, her voice annoyed. “Come on, Dumbass.”

Kozik and Chibs exchanged a glance neither sure who she was speaking to. With as pissed off as she seemed it could be either one of them. She rolled her eyes as she clarified. “Are we talking or not you Scottish idiot.”

Chibs stepped forward, his heart racing as he struggled to comprehend everything he wanted to say.

They’d made their way out to the cool night air settling against some picnic table as Chibs had spoken. “I know I hurt ye.”

“No shit.” She snapped, he cringing at the comment as she took a seat at the picnic table shivering in the cooler temperature. She should have brought a jacket.

He spoke again, a heavy sigh leaving him. “Ye seemed vulnerable, Lass and then there I was swooping in kissin ye.”

“I kissed you back. I felt far from vulnerable.” She remarked running her hands through her hair frustrated by the comment. Did he really think he was protecting her?

“Aye ye did. Didn’t mean I wouldn’t ruin ye though.” He remarked sitting down on the picnic table beside her thankful she didn’t shove him away.

She gazed over at him, confusion joining her irritation. “What do you mean by that?”

“I jus got divorced, Love. Ye jus ended a long term engagement. I was afraid we were seekin out a rebound in each other…and I ain’ the kinda guy ye should be reboundin with. Guys like me aint good at mending hearts. Figured we’d just break each others hearts all the more.” He explained as though it was the most obvious thing on the entire planet.

She rolled her eyes fast to challenge the statement. “It wasn’t a rebound for me, Chibs. I can’t speak for you, but I didn’t kiss you because I was looking for anyone to fill a hole in me that my ex left. I kissed you because I really like…I liked you, I really liked you. You were sweet and I felt nice around you. I felt protected when you were around. You made me smile. You were good to my nephew and my soon to be step niece and nephew. You are good to my sister, you treat her like family. I liked how good you are to the people you love. I liked the way you spoke about your daughter…how much you love her. You have a good heart. I kissed you because I had hoped I had a place in that good heart of yours.”

He felt his heart ache at the words a cruel voice in the back of his head taunting him with how badly he’d fucked things up the night they’d kissed. He sighed, his throat growing tight. “I’m a criminal, Lass. Pretty sure yer smart enough to put the dots together…ye have to know Lyla is marryin Opie and marryin into an outlaw club…I guess I told myself that even if it wasn’t a rebound that I thought ye deserved more than an outlaw biker.”

“That’s bullshit. If I deserve more then that means my sister deserves more. I’m not going to sit back and let anyone tell me that my sister and I are settling on less than we deserve. I am a grown woman, Filip. I don’t need any man telling me what I deserve or don’t deserve. I am capable of making that choice on my own.” She scolded him, her voice holding a hint of venom.

He felt his shoulders sink at her words having the sense to at least appear as admonished as he felt. 

He let out a shaky sigh spilling his heart to her all the more. “I know I made that choice fer ye and it wasn’t fair. I disappeared on ye…I threw myself into tryin to distract myself…let the club whores distract my heart from what I wanted. I never claimed to be a smart lad or at least one that aint prone to self sabotage. I really like ye, Love. All this fuckin distraction with the croweaters, it aint workin…It jus makes me feel more wretched. I know I’m hurtin ye and I feel like shite fer it. All my heart screams it wants is ye…and I royally fucked that one up. If I could take it back I would. I wish I could go back a month ago and ask ye out on a proper date…make it clear I wanted more than jus a kiss.”

“You can’t take it back.” She remarked her voice soft the words making his heart crack all the more.

He told himself that this was it. She was going to walk away from him. She was probably going to choose Kozik. The man was sweet on her. She was going to go with the Son who was sweet on her and leave the one who had hurt her in her dust. Chibs knew that he would have no one to blame but himself for losing her. He told himself he would have to sit back and watch his brother have what he had lost. 

She spoke again, taking him by shock. “Just because you can’t take it back, doesn’t mean you can’t repair it.”

She paused, spotting the look of astonishment on his face as he hoped against hope that she was going to give him a shot to make this right. 

She spoke, giving him hope. “This might be something I regret…don’t make me regret it, Filip. I like you…I still like you even if I’m really angry with you at the moment. I can’t tell my heart who to give love to though. Hearts are dumb like that. I am not saying that we’re going to be picking up where we left off…I am willing to let you try to win me over, just…just don’t make me regret this Filip. Don’t disappear on me again. Just be the man I thought you were; be the sweet guy who is willing to punch out my ex and the guy who kissed me like I was the most delicate thing on the planet. Be that guy.”

He reached out his hand grasping over hers the words leaving him. “Aint goin to make ye regret it, Love. I am goin to try so hard to be the lad ye hoped I was. I will do anything it takes.”

The soft kiss she’d pressed to his cheek had soothed his heart, promising himself to keep true to the words he’d said.

He had proven himself time and time again. He had proven he was the man she wanted him to be.

Soon after Opie and Lyla had married Chibs had enlisted Happy to tattoo a crow onto Y/N’s right wrist showing the world just who she was to him.

After a little over a year of dating and a choice to move in together, Chibs had given Y/N another token proving what she was to him.

The engagement ring was a delicate diamond on a silver band and it had been slipped on her finger with a nervous proposal from him and an enthusiastic yes from Y/N.

Y/N was pleased to say she’d found love with Chibs Telford. Her current fiance was a thousand steps above her ex-fiance.

Chibs Telford had proven to her that he not only respected her but he did not take any love she gave him for granted.

The affection and devotion she felt for Chibs had made the run Chibs had left for a week ago feel all the more soul crushing.

Y/N missed her fiance. She missed everything about him from the way his voice sounded, to the way he smelled, to the way his touch felt.

Her heart ached for him.

Her heart was not the only thing aching at the moment.

She was pleased to say that Chibs Telford was a phenomenal lover. She’d never been so sexually fulfilled in her entire life.

She had always been shy about sex, but Chibs had helped her leave her comfort zone.

The amount of toys they had in their nightstand in their bedroom proved that she had left her comfort zone.

One of those toys was currently sitting beside her on the sofa in the living room as she debated if she should settle on touching herself to mildly satisfy the sexual tension coursing through her or if she should just take a cold shower and forget it.

The toy was one of the very first toys Chibs had surprised her with. It was a simple vibrating wand.

He’d gotten it for her once she’d shyly admitted to him that she had never owned a vibrator of any shape or form. Her ex had viewed it as competition. 

Chibs had presented the toy to her, the words that left his lips sounding far too cheeky “I see it as more of a tool at our disposal, Love. I know nothin compares to the real thing, but I want ye to find all the ways ye can feel good. I want us to find em together sometimes too.”

The wand had been used pretty frequently both with and without him present. 

Other toys had joined the mix; a rabbit vibrator, a pair of vibrating panties that had originally been bought as a joke that had found some use, a jeweled little plug that made her feel so full when he buried it in her backside and buried his cock in her pussy, a pair of nipple clamps that featured a clamp for her clit which Chibs had shown her could be a lot of fun when he flicked at one of the taunt chains, a pair of cuffed restraints they’d both been strapped to their bed with, and an innocent looking blindfold.

Needless to say, she was feeling far less bashful about sex at least in the privacy of Chibs’ and her bedroom.

She sighed staring down at the toy only knowing it made her think of all the other toys in their bedroom and all the things they’d done with those toys.

She could distinctly remember the latest toy Chibs had brought home with him; a spreader bar that held her thighs open leaving her spread and presented for him even when he overstimulated her.

She moaned at the thought of him over stimulating her. The man would edge her with the vibrating wand for what seemed like way too long before finally giving her what she wanted. Once he gave her what she wanted though he would overdo it making her cum over and over again until she had more than enough.

He felt her clit throb at the memory of the last sexual encounter they’d had before he had to leave for a run to the Salt Lake charter.

They’d laid back in bed, his fingers buried in her crooked just enough to hit her gspot so perfectly over and over again. She had squirted. It was the first time she had ever done such a thing and he’d been far too smug even when he’d had to explain to her and reassure her about what had just happened.

She had been mortified sure she had wet herself and he’d proudly explained to her what he’d just managed to do to her.

Though her sister was very much involved in the adult industry, Y/N could admit she was a little more innocent when it came to that type of thing.

It wasn’t as though Lyla and she discussed Lyla’s job. Y/N actually tended to be pretty shy and naive when it came to certain sexual acts. She’d always felt nervous in bed and her past partners had not encouraged her to step out of her comfort zone.

So, she would absolutely be the first to admit she was pretty innocent when it came to several sexual acts and the possibilities available to her in the bedroom. 

It was something Chibs had found he viewed as adorable and alluring. He liked corrupting her just the slightest. He had shown her so many things about her body and what it was capable of and she adored him for it.

She sighed, pulling her damp panties from her body allowing them to drop to the floor beside her and yanking Chibs’ t-shirt over her head.

She dropped it by the panties running her hands along her body. She sighed, sinking into lust.

She imagined Chibs being here with her in the moment and pictured his low Scottish brogue praising her for being so good for him.

He remembered all the filthy things he whispered to her trying to make her blush “fuck that’s it, that’s my good girl.” “Look at ye, that’s my little slut.” “Gorgeous Lass, takin my cock like its all yer made fer.”

She ran a hand down her body sliding her fingers between her slit moaning at how soaked she already was. Her head fell back, her eyes closing as she sunk further into fantasy.

She thought of him kneeling between her thighs staring up at her as he ate her pussy like it was his last meal. The man had a gifted tongue and fingers. His lips were just as gifted too. He made eating her out a full mouth and finger affair. He didn’t care how messy it got or how much he moaned against her clit. He would practically rub his face against her center as he lapped at her eagerly. He never minded how drenched she’d get, seeing it as a reward for how good he was doing.

She blindly reached for her toy flipping it on its lowest setting running it along her breasts, her nipples standing at attention.

She remembered the last time he’d used the nipple clamps on her and the proud smirk on his lips as the buds of her nipples stood at full attention. He’d enjoyed the squeal that left her as he tugged at the chain connecting the clamps praising her for how gorgeous she looked.

She ran the toy down her body pressing it against her clit, taking it away just as quick it almost too much. She whined, tempted to go get her vibrator and ride that instead but decided the wand would have to do at the moment.

She felt so worked up she had the slightest feeling that any tiny hint of stimulation would get her there. 

She ran the toy back along her clit sliding it up and down it and along her wet slit a gasp leaving her his name clear on her lips. “Filip, Baby, oh fuck.”

She whined, keeping up the stimulation turning up the toy once she got comfortable enough with the current setting for it to no longer feel as good as she wanted.

She moaned, focusing more on her clit, the words leaving her, her mind only on one man and the thought of him inside of her making her feel good. “Filip, fuck yes. Your cock is so fucking good, so fucking big, yes, Baby.”

She toyed with her nipple tugging it with her free hand imagining his teeth and lips locked around her breast tugging at the nipple. 

“Filip, Baby, please. Oh my God, Filip. Fuck me.”

The voice that sounded out took her by shock, the toy falling from her grasp, her head shooting up and her eyes popping open. “Fuck, Lass. This is a fuckin beautiful welcome home.”

She stared up at her fiance, her cheeks flushed from more than arousal. 

“How long have you been standing there?” She sputtered out wanting to sink into the sofa cushions and disappear.

“Not long, long nough to hear ye praising how big my cock is though. Ye thinking bout me, Love? Ye playing and imagining me?” He asked in an amused tone mixed with a clear tone of arousal.

She spoke, deciding to be blunt despite any lingering embarrassment she might currently be feeling. “I've been horny all day, and I need you fix it"

“Ye have only been horny today, Love? I’ve been gone all week.” Chibs teased, unable to stop the groan from leaving his lips at her comment.

She gave him a smirk deciding to be a little bolder knowing it was not a lie. “Believe me, I’ve been aching for you all week. The second night you were gone, after we got off the phone, I took a bubble bath and played with myself under the running faucet. The night after I rode my vibrator while wearing one of your work shirts.”

“Fuck, Love. Ye didn’t call me durin this? I woulda given ye some encouragement and let ye know just how much I was humpin my hand over ye.” he exclaimed easily imagining all the scenarios she was describing to him.

She spoke spreading her legs further for him running her hands along her thighs teasingly as she spoke. “You didn’t find relief anywhere but your own hand?”

“Fuck no, Love. Ye know we have a policy of our own fer when I’m on runs.” He remarked her body and heart aching for him all the more.

She knew some ol ladies followed a what happens on runs stays on runs policy. That mindset did not work for Y/N and Chibs though. She had made it clear to him that her body was the only one he was allowed to find release in. If he strayed on a run, she was gone. Infidelity was unacceptable to her.

He’d been quick to reassure her that he had zero intention of finding release with anyone but her. He knew her past with unfaithful romantic partners. He was not about to make her experience that heartache again. He only had eyes for her and was not ashamed to admit it.

She spoke, her hands running up her body along her breasts, Chibs watching with parted lips he resisting the urge to lunge for her just yet. She spoke her voice needy. “I missed you so much, Filip. The toys are fun, but you’re better.”

“Aye, yer so much better than my hand Love.” He insisted his cock straining against his jeans all the more.

He’d been rock hard from the second he’d walked through the front door and found his fiancee playing with herself on the sofa moaning his name. It was not the welcome home he’d been anticipating but it was incredible all the same.

She spoke needing to say the words. “I need you right now, couch, kitchen floor, anywhere, just take me now."

With that he lunged towards her, dropping down to his knees, his lips meeting hers. He moved down her body at a record pace pressing open mouthed kisses to her skin praises and words of adoration leaving him.

He reached her bare center, his face burying against her pussy a pleased moan leaving him.

He stroked her slit with his tongue reaching up to spread her lips before diving in. He lapped at her with enthusiasm proving that there would be no slow work up or teasing on his end. He was determined to make her cum.

She whined his name, her hand pressing to the back of his head keeping him in place though it was clear he had zero intention on moving from her pussy.

His fingers pressed into her core, two and then three at a time, he thrusting them as he focused on her clit. He pulled his face from her pussy continuing to finger her as he spoke. “Fuck, yer so soaked. How worked up were ye, Love?”

“So bad, Filip. Been thinking about you all day. I missed you so much. Stupid Salt Lake taking you away.” She whined, the latter comment working a chuckle from him.

“Aye sorry, Lass. Some lads in the fuckin Salt Lake charter needed some straighten out it was makin shite tense between em and a few other charters. Clay wasn’t goin to let me stay home.” Chibs remarked a groan leaving her as she spoke. 

“You can talk club business later, Filip. Please don’t mention Clay or the Irish or any of that crap while your fingers are buried in my cunt.” 

He snickered at the comment nodding his head. “Aye fair nough.”

He reached down grabbing her forgotten toy, a smirk crossing his features. “Remember how fuckin shy yer were when I brought this home. Had to show ye how to use it to make ye feel good, had to encourage ye to get yerself off. Ye would start feelin so good and then ye’d get all shy and back off. Had to tell ye how fuckin stunning ye look when yer making that pussy feel good. Never thought I’d walk in ye playin with yourself so proud moanin my name.”

“I was thinking about what we did before you left. How dirty and good it felt.” She moaned, Chibs rewarding her with a nip to her thigh.

“Aye, it was so fuckin filthy, and ye loved it. Ye come such a long way from the firs time I had ye, Love. Ye look so innocent and sweet but we both know ye love all the shite I taught ye. Ye even learned a few things all on yer own, aye?”

She nodded her head frantically not helping but to feel herself preen at the praise in his voice over how much she’d figured out about her body all on her own. 

“I have, I figured out so many ways to feel good, Filip. Never felt so good in my life.” The comment earned another nip to her thigh followed by murmured words of love. 

He spoke, removing his fingers making her whine. “Relax, Love. Jus gonna play a wee bit. Then ye can have what ye really want.”

She didn’t have time to beg him to give her what he was promising right this instant as he pressed the vibrating wand directly against her clit, turning it up.

The action caused her hips to jolt forward, her head falling back a moan leaving her. He spoke, a smirk crossing his features. “Shite, look at ye. Such a sensitive clit, always forget how sensitive the wee bud is.”

She whined wanting to point out that she highly doubted he forgot. She couldn’t work out the words though he rubbing the toy across her clit in a circular pattern making her moan all the louder.

She ran her hands along her breasts tugging at her nipples, an approving groan leaving him “Shite, Love. Those perfect tits. Dreamed bout those tits on a nightly basis while I was in Utah.”

She gasped as he continued to toy with her his name sputtering from her lips. She may have been good with her toy, but Chibs was a master with it.

She pulled her hands from her breasts reaching out blindly wanting some contact with him. He reached up, with the hand that was not currently occupied, allowing her to lace her fingers with his.

He pressed kisses against her thigh as he continued to toy with her whispering words of praise to her perfect, stunning, hot, wet, incredible. 

She moaned, the heat beginning to build in her knowing she was risking cumming from this so quick. She had been so worked up and the toy was turned up so high, so much higher than she’d dare to ever turn it up. Chibs apparently sensed it he turning up the toy all the higher, his voice filled with praise. “Yer fuckin gorgeous Mo luaidh. Come on, cum on this toy and I’ll give ye my cock.”

She whined the words egging her on he not letting up turning the toy up to its highest setting her thighs quivering the coil that had been tightening up in her absolutely breaking as she fell apart against the vibrating wand.

She cried out as she came Chibs moaning at the sight wanting to commit it to memory. Her hips rocked against the toy eagerly, her thighs trying to squeeze together he keeping a hand on her thigh keeping her legs parted as he navigated the toy through her orgasm.

She whimpered struggling to pull back from him as she came down from her orgasm and the sensations became uncomfortable.

He pulled the toy back flipping it off a proud smile crossing his features at the sight of her slumped back against the couch, her body damp with sweat and flushed from arousal.

He took her by surprise as he spoke, giving her thigh a playful smack. “Turn round, Lass. On yer knees love, rest yer top half on the cushion.”

She moved her body feeling wobbly, her center aching for whatever he was about to give her even if she’d already cum once already.

She did as he instructed he rewarding her with a playful smack to her backside the act working a moan from her lips. He groaned, giving her bottom another smack to the other cheek his voice teasing. “Naughty Love. Shite, yer so ready to take anything I’ll give ye, Aye?”

“Uh huh.” She remarked knowing she was too fucked out and needy to form a more eloquent reply.

He leaned down, angling his body unable to stop himself from licking a long stripe up her pussy it looking so plump and inviting from this angle.

She gasped his name leaving her lips he speaking praising her. “Such a fuckin wet pussy.”

“Just for you.” She whined the comment earning her another smack to the backside.

He worked quick resting on his knees behind her, he losing his clothing. He stripped his kutte and shirt from his body, tossing the kutte onto a recliner by the sofa and letting the shirt fall to the floor along with his weapons.

He managed to kick his shoes off the action clumsy but she thankfully remained bent over the sofa unable to see how much he lacked grace in his movements.

He reached down, unfastening his belt and unzipping his jeans. He kicked them from his body allowing his boxers to follow along behind them.

He rested against his knees again taking himself in hand running his cock along her center coating himself in her wetness. 

A needy moan left the both of them at the action they both practically shaking with desire.

Chibs managed to speak as he positioned himself at her center gazing down at where their bodies were about to connect. “I love ye.”

“Love you too Filip, so much.” She gasped not having a chance to elaborate more as he pushed forward her hot wet center enveloping his hard cock.

He groaned as he entered her inch by inch his movements torturous, she resisting the urge to back up against him and push him along. 

She had a feeling such a movement would earn her a smack to her backside. She knew he intended her to feel every inch of him as he slid home.

He had missed her and wanted to appreciate the sensation of sliding into her warm body after a week without this.

He grunted as he finally thrust up to the hilt, her body feeling heavenly around his aching cock. She was dripping wet and she was so hot and silken around him that he almost wanted to cry.

He placed his hands on her hips giving himself leverage as he began to rock in and out of her finding a slow sensual pace making sure she felt every inch of him as his cock moved within her.

She whined digging her fingers into the couch cushions, his name spilling from her lips like a prayer.

He spoke his voice gruff as he soaked up the sensations of her. “Jeysus, Love. Missed ye so much. Yer all I fuckin thought bout when I wasn’t doin club shite.”

“Missed you so much, Filip. Love you.” She managed to gasp the comment earning her a moan and a I love you in return.

She rocked back against him the sound of his skin meeting hers mixing with soft moans and praises from him. 

She soaked up his praise, the words washing over her like a caress: gorgeous, mine, my love, perfect pussy, best thing that ever happened to me.

She whined wanting to insist it was him who was the best thing that had ever happened to her, but the feel of him inside of her practically took her breath away. She had zero idea how one man could be so incredible in bed, though she knew he had plenty of experience under his belt.

The thought did not fill her with jealousy. She knew she was the only one who he took to bed nowadays. The thought made her feel cherished and adored.

She knew that no man had ever loved her as deeply as Chibs Telford. He made sure she was aware of this sensation of being loved each and every day.

He groaned the adoration he felt for her making itself known. “Oh, Love. So fuckin good to be home. One week was one fuckin week too long. Missed this pussy.”

“Just my pussy?” She teased the comment earning a smack to her backside, the sensation of pain mixing wonderfully with the pleasure coursing through her center.

“Missed all ye, Lass. Missed holdin ye at night. Missed kissing ye. Missed havin ye on my bike. Missed hearin ye laugh. Missed every fuckin thing bout ye.” He moaned his fingers digging into her hips as she rocked back against him all the more enthusiastically.

He rocked back against her picking up his pace the words leaving him. “Gonna fuckin make ye my wife soon. Shite, Love. Then I’m gonna fuckin miss my wee wife everytime I gotta leave fer a fuckin run.”

“Gonna miss my husband.” She gasped the comment, working a quicker pace from him, the words making him groan.

He snapped his hips against hers all the quicker his movements getting rougher the need he felt for her taking over the desire to enjoy the sensation of being inside of her.

She reached down finding her clit the action making the sensations washing over all the more intense.

He groaned as it hit him what she was doing, his hips speeding up at an even rougher pace. “Fuck yes, Love. So fuckin clever making yerself feel good on this cock.”

She whined at the praise she working her clit all the more enthusiastically knowing just how to move herself along closer to release.

She whimpered her toes curling at the pleasure coursing through her the mix of his cock sliding in and out of her at a more brutal pace and her fingers on her clit almost too much. 

She could feel her end building up in her once again that coil tightening inside of her threatening to snap at any second.

He spoke encouraging her able to sense just how close she seemed to be getting. “That’s my love. Shite, Mo luaidh. You gonna cum fer me? Aye, ye gonna show me jus how good I feel in ye?”

“Uh huh.” The words left her she once again too lost in lust to care if she sounded dense.

The orgasm hit her harder than she expected the waves of hot pleasure washing over her with incredible intensity, her center fluttering around his aching cock working praises from him.

She whined, falling limp against the sofa, her hand falling weakly from her clit as she shuddered from her release, she feeling like ragdoll at the moment.

Chibs took her by shock, pulling out of her a hiss leaving him as the cold air hit his cock.

He took her in his arms pulling her down to the floor, his lips pressing to hers.

He laid her back against the floor yanking a decorative pillow from the couch for her rest her head against. 

He positioned his cock at her entrance, his voice thick with lust. “Gonna fuckin cum fer me one more time, Love.”

She whimpered the words leaving her a whine escaping her. “I can’t, Filip.”

“Aye, ye can do it, Love. We’re gonna have a wee bit of help.” 

She furrowed her brow, lost as to what he meant by help but she got her answer as he reached out, finding the toy he’d already used on her pressing it between them.

She whined shuddering against him as he thrust his cock back home flipping the toy on making sure it was pressed against her clit.

She cried out the sensation so intense. She wrapped her arms around him digging her nails into his back wanting to reach for anything to steady her, as he began to thrust in her.

He grunted at how tremendously soaked she was and how he could feel the toy vibrating as he pressed his cock in her, the sensation feeling just as intense for him.

He spoke his voice gruff and demanding. “Yer gonna cum fer me one more time, Love. Yer gonna fuckin clench round this cock and let me fill ye up.”

“Filip.” She only managed to gasp, his demands making her clit throb her body promising she was going to give him exactly what he was requesting.

He spoke his words breaking he clearly struggling to hold out for her. “Fuck, Love. Is this what ye pictured while ye were…fuck…while ye touched that pussy…fuck, while I was gone, Aye? 

“Thought about how good you feel, thought about you taking me everywhere.” She gasped, causing him to nip at her neck.

“Everywhere, Love?”

She gasped, becoming too lost in pleasure to care if it was embarrassing. “At the clubhouse on the fucking pool table and at the bar, at the garage over the hood of a car, on your bike, fuck, in every room of this house in every position.”

“Fuck, Love.” Chibs groaned, turning up the wand all the higher causing her to cry out she knowing it would not be much longer.

She dug her nails into his back leaving scratch marks in her wake, her clit throbbing like a broken tooth against the toy her head falling back a cry leaving her.

He spoke encouraging her. “That’s it, Lass. Cum on this cock, Love. Ye look so fuckin gorgeous when ye feel good. Ye deserve to feel so good.”

The third orgasm of the night hit her like a brick to the head coming out of nowhere. It washed over with with intensity tears leaking from the corners of her eyes at how strong it felt.

The orgasm wracking through her frame was all it took for him to reach his own end his words filled with an equal mix of adoration and filth. “Fuck such a good girl takin my cum. Love ye, Lass. Shite. My perfect Love takin my cum fer me.”

His cock throbbed in her spurts of his release spilling into her with an magnitude that he was almost certain he’d not felt since his first few sexual encounters as a much younger man. 

He groaned against her his hips thrusting weakly as his release seeped from him in hot ropes making her whine her hands running up and down his back encouraging him as he found his release.

He felt himself relax against her his cock feeling spent and his body feeling heavy. She whined it taking him a moment to realize the toy was still buzzing away between their drained bodies.

He reached down whispering apologies and words of praise as he removed the toy flipping it off and tossing it aside.

She wrapped her arms around him, unwilling to have him pull from her just yet. Even as his cock softened and he slid from her his release seeping from her center, he refused to part from her just yet.

He rested against her she not caring if the weight of his body over hers was slightly heavy. She felt protected and adored in the moment.

He groaned, pressing his lips to her sweat damp skin whispering praises to her before she reluctantly allowed him to pull from her.

He rolled over onto his back not caring if the wood floor below them was hard and cold. He opened his arms for her, she cuddling up to him resting against his chest.

He ran a soothing hand up and down her back chuckling as he realized just how heavy her eyes were growing. “That’s my love, all fucked out jus the way I like er.”

“Missed you so much, Filip. Don’t leave again.” She murmured against his chest, sleep threatening to take over.

“Can’t not leave fer runs, Lass.” He responded, chuckling a bit at the low whine that left her and grumbles of it not being fair.

He pressed his lips to hers reassuring her. “Me leavin fer club shite jus means I get to come home to ye, Love. If ye keep welcomin me home like this then it’ll make me missin ye while I’m gone sting a little less.”

She shook her head a huff leaving her, she not helping but to tease him. “If you leave again anytime soon and I welcome you home like this again I have a feeling I’m going to be walking down the aisle with a bun in the oven.”

He chuckled at the comment pressing a kiss to her temple, the words taking her by shock. “Aye, can’t say I’d be disappointed if ye did.” 

She felt her cheeks flush at the comment, unable to deny that she wouldn’t quite mind it either.

She gave his shoulder a pat, her eyes growing heavy with exhaustion. “Welcome home, Filip.”

“Aye, happy to be home, Mo bheatha.” He remarked sleep flooding his own vision. 

He wasn’t lying, if this was how she welcomed him home then it would make the next run he was forced to go on feel far less miserable.

------

mo bheatha = my life

mo luaidh = my darling.

[svt-rosalie]

. . . ♡ FAMILY ! ? 🌷 MEMBERS ★ ﾟ๑

ׁ ׅ ୨ ❪ relationships! ❫ ୧ ⊹ ࣪

© 2023 , svt-rosalie rosalie masterlist!

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ NAME — aurore dumont

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ AGE — 49 ❪ march 15, 1974 ❫

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ STATUS — alive

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ FAMILIAL TIES — mother & daughter

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ DESCRIPTION — to say jihye is a mommy’s girl, is an understatement. jihye is her mothers mini me. as a little girl, rosie would take her mothers makeup and dress up in her moms clothes (even though they were a bit too big for her 8 year old frame) and walk down the hall to their living room giving a little runway show, to which her mother would always be her biggest fan and cheer her on.

“oh so gorgeous!” “i have the prettiest daughter in the world!”

as rosalie grew older, her mother became her anchor for teenage years. especially when she became a trainee and was away from her mother for a while (rosalie began living with her grandparents for about a year whilst her parents found a decent house and building for the bakery). there was many late night calls that would lead the poor girl to tears, crying out that she misses her mom. aurore was able to life up her daughter on her dark days and laugh with her daughter on the bright ones and that’s all that rosalie needs.

nothing is more important than the love a mother gives.

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ NAME — park hyeonju

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ AGE — 52 ❪ october 18, 1971 ❫

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ STATUS — alive

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ FAMILIAL TIES — father & daughter

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ DESCRIPTION — hyeonju is a father and everything in between, a best friend, a hype man, and a body guard. now valentine is the biggest daddy’s girl but that doesn’t mean rosalie isn’t next in line in wanting all of her appa’s attention. she loves when her dad ask her to join in on activities he knows she doesn’t enjoy, like going to the hardware store or making renovations to the house, but just wants to spend quality time with her one way or another — and he always goes to the nail salon to get their toes done together after wards. you gotta pamper yourself after all that hard work as rosalie says.

hyeonju always attended everyone of rosalie’s daddy daughter school events and made sure she was the most spoiled girl without making her a brat. she’s his first daughter/child so of course he’s going to make sure she knows she is loved both emotionally and physically. anytime the park family is out on a errands or just to spend family time together, rosalie is always holding her fathers hand or his arm (or on the special occasion he’s giving rosalie a piggy back ride).

rosalie couldn’t ask for a better father, he’s the one there to fight off all the monsters hiding in her closet and hold her close when the nightmares hit too close to home.

“it’s okay my rosebud, flowers can’t bloom without a little rain huh? appa’s here, it’s okay.”

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ NAME — park jiyeong, valentine dumont

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ AGE — 13 ❪ february 14, 2010 ❫

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ STATUS — dead ❪ february 12, 2022 ❫

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ FAMILIAL TIES — little sister & older sister

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ DESCRIPTION — valentine is rosalie’s entire heart, literally. when valentine was born all bets were off — rosalie was obsessed with her and wouldn’t let her out of her sight. she told all her friends and teachers at school that she has a new little sister and that she’s the best thing ever even though she’s stinky sometimes.

valentine grew up basically shadowing everything rosalie did. rosalie went for extra lessons for english, valentine would too even though she liked her french classes more; rosalie would put a little bit of lip gloss on and valentine would always pucker up her lips for some as well saying she wants to be just as pretty as her big sister! everything they did was for each other and with each other, you’d think they were twins.

when rosalie became a trainee, valentine bragged to everyone saying she was going to have the bestest singing sister in the world, mind you valentine was around 3 at this time so all she knew was the videos rosalie would play of girls generation and shinee, so she thought rosalie was going to be the coolest person in the world. she was right.

as valentine grew up and rosalie began to get busier with being an idol, nothing in their relationship changed. rosalie still called every night to her mom and dad and asked for valentine within 5 minutes.

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ NAME — sabrina

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ AGE — 5 years old ❪ 2018 ❫

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ BREED — ragdoll cat, female

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ STATUS — alive

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ DESCRIPTION — sabrina is and always has been jihye’s number one girl. she received sabby as a gift when she was 18 as a birthday gift from her appa after she had been begging for years for a cat. sadly her mama is allergic so her parents had to wait till their oldest was out of the house to allow such a big purchase and why not when she becomes an “adult”!

sabrina only likes rosalie and pixie. anybody that tries to pet her she will hide and slap your hand away (claws not out, she’s not that mean). she’s a sweet girl though, to rosalie, and loves to cuddle and make biscuits. she’ll sleep all night surprisingly and be the most active kitty you’ve ever seen during the day time.

rosalie knows she’ll be heartbroken when sabrina gets older but right now sabrina is still just a little baby who loves to be carried around and played dress up with!

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ NAME — pixie

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ AGE — 2 years old ❪ 2021 ❫

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ BREED — black cocker spaniel, female

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ STATUS — alive

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ DESCRIPTION — pixie is just a little baby. she has no thoughts in her head expect her best friend sabrina the ragdoll, her owner rosalie and treats. she’s such a sweetheart but is genuinely just so coocoo.

she doesn’t go crazy like sabrina will but she’s just dumb. . . to put it mildly. pixie will be walking and is only looking up at rosalie instead of straight ahead of her and bump into a wall, she’ll bark at the floor because she thought she saw another being that wasn’t suppose to be there but it was actually just her own shadow coming from the sun shining in the window.

rosalie has a little like baby walker that she puts pixie in for walks and sometimes sabrina as well. when rosie bought that a lot of people thought she was pregnant. . . nope just for her fur babies. pixie is rosalie’s best friend and often goes with her to practices and oversea events when the group is going to be there for a while (sabrina doesn’t do well on planes so she stays with wonwoo’s family).

taglist — @angie-x3 @alixnsuperstxr @allthings-fandoms @peachyaeger @sakufilms @aysxldea @swagcandyfun @wonwooz1 @s4nsmoon

click here to join the taglist!

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 52 - Goodbye. [FINALE]

Kerubim is so scandalized that he forgot about being sad for a second, while Joris is just... too lost in the sauce.

In the end, what made Kerubim take Simone's advice to heart, is Joris's sad face.

He loves him a lot.

Kerubim, internally: ABSOLUTELY NOT LIKE IN MY STORIES.

He really doesn't want Joris to go through The Horrors.

It must be so awful, being a parent, — knowing you can't protect someone forever, knowing that you've probably hurt that someone yourself.

...I'm insane about them. I should be put down like a rabid dog.

I think a lot about the two years they probably spent travelling the world, before settling down in Bonta. Perhaps, before what happened with Julith, living there was supposed to be a temporary thing too.

Kerubim is so giddy about teaching Joris the family business. He has been the whole series, but it never gets old, y'know?

They love each other a lot.

Crazy? I was crazy once. I watched this show. And this show makes me crazy.

He hasn't allowed himself to think of this being possible since settling down. He really tried not to.

But if they're moving on from this bubble of safety, where everything is always familiar, then anything is possible, isn't it?

They took the time to draw Julie's hair salon being closed down...

Even if I will rewatch it yet again, many times in the future, I will miss liveblogging this show a lot.

Yet again, I am thinking about the fact that they were connected to the canalization and water systems of the city. I wonder how much damage they caused by leaving like this. dfjgsfhgsfd.

This is going to be true for their whole lives, y'know?

No matter the distance or time, they have enough love for their friends to last for centuries.

And when their friends are long gone, they'll live on through their stories, — that's a type of immortality, too.

:)

And what a long, fantastic adventure it will be.

It's time to stop pretending like Kerubim's adventures ever really ended, and start moving forward again, — towards the future.

Even if it is a future their friends can follow them into, — even if they'll outlive them, because life is just a bit cruel, — it will be worth it.

Fly safe, Kerubim and Joris!

And SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

[holystormfire]

John 7:40-52

Nicodemus challenged his fellow pharisees.

Nicodemus Visiting Jesus,

Painting by Henry Ossawa Tanner (1859-1957),

Painted in 1899,

Oil on canvas

© Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts

Gospel Reading

Several people who had been listening to Jesus said, ‘Surely he must be the prophet’, and some said, ‘He is the Christ’, but others said, ‘Would the Christ be from Galilee? Does not scripture say that the Christ must be descended from David and come from the town of Bethlehem?’ So the people could not agree about him. Some would have liked to arrest him, but no one actually laid hands on him.

The police went back to the chief priests and Pharisees who said to them, ‘Why haven’t you brought him?’ The police replied, ‘There has never been anybody who has spoken like him.’ ‘So’ the Pharisees answered ‘you have been led astray as well? Have any of the authorities believed in him? Any of the Pharisees? This rabble knows nothing about the Law – they are damned.’ One of them, Nicodemus – the same man who had come to Jesus earlier – said to them, ‘But surely the Law does not allow us to pass judgement on a man without giving him a hearing and discovering what he is about?’ To this they answered, ‘Are you a Galilean too? Go into the matter, and see for yourself: prophets do not come out of Galilee.’

Reflection on the painting

In today's Gospel reading, we encounter Nicodemus, marking his second of three appearances in the Gospel of John. Initially introduced as a curious seeker who approaches Jesus under the cover of night, Nicodemus is portrayed as intrigued by Jesus yet hesitant to fully embrace his teachings. His journey of faith is subtly woven through John's narrative, culminating in his participation alongside Joseph of Arimathea in ensuring Jesus receives a respectful (indeed, lavish) burial. This progression illustrates Nicodemus's gradual movement towards a deeper understanding and commitment to Jesus. Our reading today is the second (and middle) appearance of Nicodemus. Despite being a Pharisee, he displays remarkable bravery by questioning the outright dismissal of Jesus by his peers, who criticize Jesus based on his origin in Galilee, a region they regard as insignificant compared to the religious hub of Jerusalem. Nicodemus advocates for fairness and due process, arguing that Jesus should not be judged without first being heard. This stance places him at odds with the prevailing opinions of his colleagues, and his challenge is met with scorn, evidenced by their sarcastic comment "Are you from Galilee too?"

Nicodemus's growing relationship with Jesus left him increasingly isolated in the world where he had been so much at home. He actually reminds us that as we grow in our relationship with Jesus, there is often a price to be paid. We may find ourselves a lone voice among our peers. At such times, we know that the Lord is always with us.

Henry Ossawa Tanner painted our canvas in 1899, depicting the first of the three mentions of Nicodemus in John's Gospel (John 3:1-21). The painting was Tanner's entry to the 1899 Paris Salon. We see Nicodemus talking privately to Christ in the evening, a good example of Tanner's nocturnal light paintings. The painting was purchased there for the Wilstadt Collection, Philadelphia, and is now in the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts. The narrative of Nicodemus' meeting with Jesus held significant meaning for Henry Ossawa Tanner's father, Benjamin Tucker Tanner. He was a Bishop in the African Methodist Episcopal Church and had aspirations for his son to join him in the ministry. While Henry's decision to pursue a career as an artist fell short of his father's dream, his talent for painting ultimately produced works that his father could admire and support.

Article by Father Patrick van der Vorst

[gaysails]

The Wire is an American crime drama television series created and primarily written by American author and former police reporter David Simon . . . Set and produced in Baltimore, Maryland, The Wire introduces a different institution of the city and its relationship to law enforcement in each season while retaining characters and advancing storylines from previous seasons. The five subjects are, in chronological order; the illegal drug trade, the port system, the city government and bureaucracy, education and schools, and the print news medium. . .

Simon has said that despite its framing as a crime drama, the show is "really about the American city, and about how we live together. It's about how institutions have an effect on individuals. Whether one is a cop, a longshoreman, a drug dealer, a politician, a judge or a lawyer, all are ultimately compromised and must contend with whatever institution to which they are committed."[5]

The Wire is lauded for its literary themes, its uncommonly accurate exploration of society and politics, and its realistic portrayal of urban life. During its original run, the series received only average ratings and never won any major television awards, but it is now often cited as one of the greatest shows in the history of television.[6]

. . .

Salon has described the show as novelistic in structure, with a greater depth of writing and plotting than other crime shows.[27]

Each season of The Wire consists of 10 to 13 episodes that form several multi-layered narratives. Simon chose this structure with an eye towards long story arcs that draw in viewers, resulting in a more satisfying payoff. He uses the metaphor of a visual novel in several interviews,[7][48] describing each episode as a chapter, and has also commented that this allows a fuller exploration of the show's themes in time not spent on plot development.[5]

. . .

"We are not selling hope, or audience gratification, or cheap victories with this show. The Wire is making an argument about what institutions—bureaucracies, criminal enterprises, the cultures of addiction, raw capitalism even—do to individuals. It is not designed purely as an entertainment. It is, I'm afraid, a somewhat angry show.[52]"

[homomenhommes]

THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY

based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more … February 15

1748 – The English philosopher, jurist, economist, and political scientist Jeremy Bentham (d.1832) argued for a tolerant attitude toward homosexuality in a series of papers first published in full in 1985.

He was the most notable law reformer the English-speaking world has ever produced; in this role, his influence extended not only to Britain and the United States but also to France, Spain, and Latin America. Several of the emerging republics of South and Central America consulted him in drawing up their constitutions and law codes. In the Hispanic world, he was hailed as "el legislador del mundo."

Among his all-but -illegible unpublished papers were hundreds of pages, written at intervals over half a century, which make a contribution to what we would today call "gay studies." Bentham did not dare to publish any of them during his lifetime. Though a fragment of twenty-two pages appeared in print in 1931, no comprehensive account of the scope and significance of this impressive body of materials was published until 1985.

Bentham's primary interest in homosexuality arose in connection with law reform. In his day, men convicted under the English "buggery" statute were regularly hanged, a punishment public opinion enthusiastically applauded in England long after executions had ceased in the rest of Europe.

Bentham's task as reformer was made difficult not just by the force of English prejudice, but also by the absolute taboo on public discussion of homosexuality. In law books and in parliamentary debate, homosexual behavior was referred to stereotypically by the Latin formula, "peccatum illud horribile, inter Christianos non nominandum"—"that horrible crime not to be named among Christians." Bentham candidly admits in his notes the extreme fear he felt at the idea of making public his liberal opinions on the subject.

Bentham regarded prejudice against homosexuals simply as an irrational hatred and antipathy. It is one of the distinctions of his later writings (from 1814 on) that he identifies what we now call homophobia and directs his efforts to analyzing it.

He had of course no word that is exactly equivalent to the modern term homosexual. He often employs "paederast," sometimes in its original sense of a lover of boys, but often also to mean an adult male who is sexually involved with another man, as in modern French usage; in this latter sense, it approximates closely to "homosexual."

1923 – Adolfo Faustino Sardiña (d.2021), professionally known as Adolfo, was a Cuban-born American fashion designer who started out as a milliner in the 1950s. While chief designer for the wholesale milliners Emme, he won the Coty Award and the Neiman Marcus Fashion Award. In 1963 he set up his own salon in New York, firstly as a milliner, and then focusing on clothing. He retired from fashion design in 1993.

Adolfo Sardiña was born in Cárdenas, Cuba. His mother was Irish; his father Spanish. He attended the St Ignacio de Loyola Jesuit School in Havana and served in the Cuban Army. In 1948 Adolfo immigrated to New York.

As his mother had died in childbirth, Adolfo was brought up by an aunt who enjoyed wearing French haute couture, and encouraged her nephew to pursue fashion design. With his aunt's help, Adolfo joined Cristóbal Balenciaga as an apprentice milliner. He worked at Balenciaga from 1950–52.

In 1953 Adolfo joined the New York-based wholesale millinery company Emme as their chief designer. In the summer of 1957, to further his skills, he served an unpaid apprenticeship with Coco Chanel's New York hat salon. Adolfo would later admit that he "never enjoyed making hats."

With financial help from Bill Blass, Adolfo opened his first salon in New York in 1963, where he met many of the customers who would become his patrons when he gave up millinery to focus on clothing. He had met the Duchess of Windsor by 1965, through whom he met regular customers Betsy Bloomingdale, Babe Paley and Nancy Reagan. After Mainbocher retired, one of his highest-profile clients, C. Z. Guest, came to Adolfo to make her clothes instead. Adolfo's clothes were designed to complement his hats, which the designer saw as an optional accessory rather than a wardrobe essential. During the 1980s, his creations were worn in the hit TV series "Miami Vice", the fashion-defining show for the decade.

In 1993, at the age of 60, (based on a disputed birth year of 1933) Adolfo decided to retire from fashion design and rely on the income from his licensing agreements with various manufacturers.

His partner, Edward C. Perry, died in 1993. Adolfo died on November 27, 2021, at the age of 98.

1965 – On February 15, 1965, the Maple Leaf Flag, our national flag, was raised for the first time on Parliament Hill. Canada was just two years away from centennial celebrations when the maple leaf flag was made official by Royal Proclamation. In 1996, February 15 was declared National Flag of Canada Day and has been observed every year since.

February 15, 2015, marks the 50th anniversary of the National Flag of Canada. This special Flag Day is the perfect opportunity to learn more about how our flag was created and what it means to us.

After the First World War and again after the Second World War, the Government of Canada discussed the importance of our country having its own flag. Attempts to adopt a specific design repeatedly failed as consensus could not be reached.

In 1964, the Government made the creation of a distinctive Canadian flag a priority as the 1967 centennial celebration of Confederation was approaching. When Parliament could not reach agreement on the design, the task of finding a national flag was given to an all-party Parliamentary committee.

It was the single leaf, red and white design that the Committee recommended to Parliament. The motion was passed to adopt this design as the National Flag of Canada with a vote of 163 to 78 on December 15, 1964.

The winning flag was selected for the following reasons:

The simplicity of the design that made it easily recognizable.

Its use of Canada’s official national colours.

The maple leaf had become a symbol of Canadian pride and national identity.

Canadian troops as well as Canadian athletes had already used the maple leaf as an emblem on their uniforms when representing Canada abroad.

1968 – Richard Blanco is an American poet, public speaker, author and civil engineer. He is the fifth poet to read at a United States presidential inauguration, having read for Barack Obama's second inauguration. He is the first immigrant, the first Latino, the first openly gay person and the youngest person to be the U.S. inaugural poet.

Blanco, born in Madrid on February 15, 1968, immigrated as an infant with his Cuban exile family to Miami, and was raised and educated there. He earned a B.S. from Florida International University in Civil Engineering in 1991 and his Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing in 1997, where he studied with Campbell McGrath.

Since 1999, he has traveled and lived in Guatemala and Brazil. He taught at Georgetown University, American University, Central Connecticut State University, and Writer's Center.

He explored his Cuban heritage in his early works and his role as a gay man in Cuban-American culture in Looking for the Gulf Motel (2012). He explained: "It's trying to understand how I fit between negotiating the world, between being mainstream gay and being Cuban gay." According to Time magazine, he "views the more conservative, hard-line exile cohort of his parents' generation ... with a skeptical eye."

His work has appeared in The Nation, Ploughshares, Indiana Review, Michigan Quarterly Review, TriQuarterly Review, New England Review, and Americas Review.On January 8, 2013, he was named the inaugural poet for Barack Obama's second inauguration, the fifth person to play that role. He was the first immigrant, first Latino, and first gay person to be the inaugural poet. He was also the youngest. He was asked to compose three poems from which inauguration officials selected the one he would read. After reading "One Today," he said to his mother: "Well, Mom, I think we're finally American." The poem he presented, "One Today", was called "a humble, modest poem, one presented to a national audience as a gift of comradeship, and in the context of political, pop, and media culture, a quiet assertion that poetry deserves its place in our thoughts on this one day, and every day."

He and his partner split their time between Bethel, Maine and Boston, MA. In the poem "Queer Theory, According to My Grandmother," he described how his grandmother warned him as a young boy: "For God's sake, never pee sitting down ... /I've seen you" and "Don't stare at The Six-Million-Dollar Man./I've seen you." and "Never dance alone in your room."

1989 – A Los Angeles jury awards Rock Hudson's ex-lover, Marc Christian $21.75 million in damages for the emotional distress he claims to have suffered upon learning that Hudson had AIDS. The award is later reduced to $5.5 million.

1999 – Australian diplomat Stephen Brady and his partner Peter Stephens were the world’s first openly gay ambassadorial couple. Accompanied by Stephens, Brady presented his credentials as Australian Ambassador to Denmark, to Queen Margrethe II on February  15,1999.

Today's Gay Wisdom:

Susan B. Anthony

[{(o)}]|[{(o)}]|[{(o)}]|[{(o)}]| [{(o)}]|[{(o)}]

We assert the province of government to be to secure the people in the enjoyment of their unalienable rights. We throw to the winds the old dogma that governments can give rights. Susan B. Anthony

Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation. - Susan B. Anthony, "On the Campaign for Divorce Law Reform" (1860)

The one distinct feature of our Association has been the right of the individual opinion for every member. We have been beset at every step with the cry that somebody was injuring the cause by the expression of some sentiments that differed with those held by the majority of mankind. The religious persecution of the ages has been done under what was claimed to be the command of God. I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do to their fellows, because it always coincides with their own desires. - Susan B. Anthony

Woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself. - Susan B. Anthony, Speech in San Francisco (July 1871)

The only chance women have for justice in this country is to violate the law, as I have done, and as I shall continue to do. - Susan B. Anthony

[princessmo]

OKAYYY HI EVERYONE i finally drew my designs for buzzcut's sisters, darlene and jan :3 info and height comparison under da cut

okay so darlene buzzcut is bradley's oldest sister, she's 13 years older than him and 3 years older than jan. she works at a salon a couple towns over from highland. she's once-divorced and likes doing dave's hair whenever he tags along with bradley. the ages i have aren't specific but i'd say she's in her early to mid 50s, around 52

jan (buzzcut) schaeffer is brad's other sister; she's 10 years older than brad and 3 years younger than darlene. she married rich so she doesn't really work so she does horse shows and stuff in her free time. she's sweet and well-meaning but somehow acts like she's always been rich, she's forgotten what it's like to be not-wealthy. i think she gives really good christmas gifts. she's about 49

they all get along pretty well despite the age difference; when darlene and jan were kids they were soooo excited about bradley and i think they'd try dressing him up and stuff until he was old enough to protest. once he starts dating dave they treat him the same way, but dave actually likes it. whenever van driessen comes along they tell him embarrassing stories about bradley, who begs them to stop

[adominguezs]

Kraftwerk - Trans Europe Espress. Año 1977. Edición Chilena. Electrónica. EMI Odeon Chilena S.A.

Es el sexto álbum del grupo, publicado en 1977. Se grabó a mediados de 1976 en el estudio discográfico Kling Klang. Al igual que los álbumes anteriores y los que le sucedieron, Trans Europa Express es un álbum conceptual, en este caso, basado en el sistema ferroviario europeo, del que toma el título.

Se extrajeron dos sencillos: «Trans-Europe Express» y «Showroom Dummies».

Músicos Ralf Hütter - voz y sintetizador. Florian Schneider - voz y sintetizador. Karl Bartos - percusión electrónica. Wolfgang Flür - percusión electrónica.

Producción Florian Schneider - productor. Ralf Hütter - productor. Peter Bollig - ingeniero. Bill Halverson - ingeniero. Thomas Kuckuck - ingeniero.

Tracklist: A1 Europa Interminable 9:40 A2 El Salon De Los Espejos 7:56 A3 Maniquies 6:15

B1 Expreso Trans-Europeo 6:52 B2 Metal Sobre Metal / Asburg 6:52 B3 Franz Schubert 4:26 B4 Interminable, Interminable 0:55

[roamwithahungryheart]

Ted Lasso, You've Got Mail, and the strings that bind them:

Frank Navasky, The Independent/Trent Crimm, The Independent

'Daisies are my favourite'

NY152 & Shopgirl/LDN!52 & Bossgirl

(YGM Original script) Metal grates are pulled up to open flower shops, nail salons, the pharmacy, fish store, the Cuban Chinese Restaurant, Zabar's/Ted Lasso 3x07 - Metal grates are pulled up to open flower shops, bakeries, A Taste of Athens

The Wizard of Oz references

Digital (mis)communication

'One mystery store. Sleuth, on 86th and Amsterdam.'/Amsterdam episode (maybe a stretch, but still)

One of Kathleen's favourite books is Pride and Prejudice/One of Keeley's favourite books is Sense and Sensibility

'I could never, under any circumstances, love anybody who had a sailboat.'/Rebecca's fling with the Dutch boatman

'You're at war. "It's not personal, it's business. It's not personal it's business." Recite that to yourself every time you feel you're losing your nerve. I know you worry about being brave, this is your chance. Fight. Fight to the death.'/'Everyone is laughing at us, Ted. At you, at our team, at me. Rupert is laughing at me, Ted. And I am begging you, please, fight back.'

[the-paintrist]

Jacques Augustin Pajou - Portrait of the Artist's Family - ca 1802

oil on canvas, 63 x 52 cm, Musée du Louvre

Jacques-Augustin-Catherine Pajou (27 August 1766, Paris - 28 November 1828, Paris) was a French painter in the Classical style.

His father was the sculptor, Augustin Pajou. Nothing is known of his childhood. In 1784, at the age of eighteen, he became a student at the Académie royale de peinture et de sculpture. Four attempts to win the Prix de Rome were unsuccessful.

In 1792, he became a member of the Compagnie des arts de Paris, organized by the Louvre, alongside the painter Louis-François Lejeune as well as the future economist, Jean-Baptiste Say. While stationed with the regular army in Sedan, he wrote numerous letters to his friend, François Gérard. which express his initial enthusiasm, but gradually turn to boredom, disillusionment and physical exhaustion.

After being demobilized, he participated in creating the "Commune générale des arts", an institution designed to replace the Académie Royale. He served as Secretary for the Commune's President, Joseph-Marie Vien. In 1795, he married Marie-Marguerite Thibault (1764-1827). Under the First Empire, he was commissioned to paint a portrait of Maréchal Louis-Alexandre Berthier, which may still be seen at Versailles. In 1812, he was awarded a gold medal for his depiction of Napoleon offering clemency to the Royalists who had taken refuge in Spain.

In 1811, at the urging of François-Guillaume Ménageot, who had become apprised of the precarious financial situation facing the sculptor David d'Angers, Pajou wrote a letter to the mayor of Angers, demanding that material aid be given to the sculptor. The aid was granted and was considered a lifesaver for d'Angers, who went on to win the Prix de Rome for sculpture and spend several years at the French Academy in Rome. In 1814, he painted three tableaux celebrating the Bourbon Restoration. They were displayed at the Salon and it is possible they were seen by Napoleon.

He resigned from most of the associations of which he was a member in 1823, citing poor health. In a letter from that period, he says that he was "cruelly tormented for a year by a continual tremor." He died in 1828 and was interred at the Cimetière du Père-Lachaise.

His son, Augustin-Désiré Pajou also became a well-known painter.

[kxlinthesky]

Krinos

“Anyone can become a beautiful jewel. I will be your shepherd to guide you all toward your new, sparkling selves.”

A representative for a salon offering aid to women in difficult situations. They safeguard those in need by way of the parade. A kind individual, yet their voice carries a certain dignity that inspires devotion in all who hear it.

Profile

Affiliation: Salon

Occupation: Counselor

Height: 172 cm

Weight: 52 kg

Blood Type: Unknown

Birthday: June 4th

Symbol:

Angel Type: Archangel

Likes: White lilies

Dislikes: The smell of animals

Hobby: Flower arrangement

Specialty: Musical performances

Character Relations

Mastema: His overabundance of curiosity is his downfall

Low: Foolish mutt

Click here for the official site

[oneterabyteofkilobyteage]

original url http://www.geocities.com/FashionAvenue/Salon/9750/ last modified 2005-11-15 22:48:52

[shannendoherty-fans]

Shannen Doherty Details How She Struggled to Hold a Glass After Brain Surgery: 'I'm Not a Quitter' (Exclusive) The 'Beverly Hills, 90210' star opens up in PEOPLE's latest cover story about her Stage 4 cancer diagnosis and the aftermath of her brain surgery in January By Danielle Bacher Published on November 29, 2023 05:00PM EST

Shannen Doherty is opening up about the most difficult moments in her years-long cancer journey.

After revealing she was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer in February 2020, the Beverly Hills 90210 and Charmed actress, 52, tells PEOPLE in its latest cover story that she struggled deeply after undergoing radiation to remove a brain tumor earlier this year.

It's just one of the topics she plans to cover in her upcoming live memoir-style podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannen Doherty, premiering Dec. 6.

In June, Doherty shared emotional footage with fans of herself wearing a flexible mask and undergoing a CT scan at Cedars-Sinai hospital in January, when her operation had taken place.

“He had to get removed and dissected to see his pathology,” she says now of "Bob," which she named the tumor. "It was definitely one of the scariest things I’ve ever been through in my entire life.”

After the surgery, Doherty says, she had trouble with her right hand and was unable to hold a glass or fork for three or four months.

“They put you on so many steroids. It’s to take down any brain swelling. I have a horrible reaction with steroids, so I tried to cut it down, and then the brain would swell a little bit more, and the hand would stop working completely,” she says. "We persevere through all sorts of crazy stuff, right?"

But Doherty worked intensely to regain her motor skills.

"The first time a glass slipped right through my hand, I was like, 'No, no, no, no, no. This is not happening. I am going to work on this.' And so, I did," she adds. “You think, ‘Could they have gotten more of that particular tumor?’ But it takes perseverance, a lot of dedication and faith to get through certain things. I’m not a quitter.”

Doherty was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015: After undergoing a mastectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation treatment, she announced in 2017 that her cancer had gone into remission.

Three years later, she revealed that the disease had returned and spread, and that doctors had diagnosed her with Stage 4 cancer.

The star credits her tenacity to her mom Rosa, a Southern-born redhead who ran a beauty salon and was diagnosed with a brain aneurysm when Doherty was 8. At the time, she was given a 10% chance of survival.

When Rosa woke up one morning, her eyebrow was paralyzed — and she also worked tirelessly until she was able to eventually move it.

“I come from a woman who was determined. She impressed that upon me as a very young child like, 'You don't give up. You just have to work hard at it,'" says Doherty.

She and her older brother Sean grew up in Los Angeles with their father Thomas, a financial advisor, who died in November 2010 at age 66, nearly a year after suffering a stroke on Christmas Day.

“I think I was always a fighter,” Doherty recalls of her childhood. “I was raised that way to be very strong and that I could do anything that I put my mind to.”

With a positive outlook, Doherty remains hopeful about her treatment.

"The thing that I like to tell anybody — including myself — is that it's about pushing through the next two, three, four and five years, because in that period of time, there's going to be another new protocol, a new clinical trial," she adds. "There's always something. So it's just trying to get to that point."

As she faces ups and downs, she's leaning on her support system. "I don't think that there's a decision that I make that I don't take [my mom] into consideration. I love her, and I am so incredibly grateful to her for being an amazing mother," she says. "I take my brother into consideration and his children, my dog, my animals." With a full life, Doherty isn't afraid of death. "I know where I'm going. I know the people that I'm going to see. I think I would be afraid of death if I wasn't a good person, but I am," she says. "I don't want to die. That's the difference. I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to die, like ever."