#Spiegel reads re:zero

[spiegelgestalt]

So I finished LN 1 and immediately started LN 2 (and am currently at chapter 3) and I thought before I go on I should take a minute and collect my thoughts

Random yelling under the cut:

the first loop is kinda like a tutorial quest for Subaru. He learns nothing from it.

or to say it more precisely he learns the wrong lessons: Subaru kinda bumbles himself into a win during the first loop. None of what helped him win was planned. And to say it more precisely, what helped him win were random acts of kindness: Reinhard deciding to help while not on duty, Emilia saving that child and showing her nature through that, Subaru empathizing with Felt and Rom and winning there trust that way, Subaru letting Felt go because she is fifteen and he is seventeen (and that scene gave me feelings - he is such a good boy!!!) Felt deciding to not run away but instead to run screaming and crying to the main road and than Reinhard once again deciding to help. Kindness is important. Kindness can change the world. Being kind and helping others is the way forward. ( and in a way you could argue that Emilia was saved in the end because she decided to be kind to a random stranger with a particular ability - I'm actually really curious what happened in the run where Subaru died immediately - did Emilia survive, did she get her crest back, how much did Subaru change)

So Subaru could have learned a lot here: sometimes it's better to be the coward who lives instead of being the heroic fool in everyone's way; it's important to be kind, and also important to let others be kind to you; he's in an incredible weak position so it's important to learn as much as he can as fast as he can, Emilia is kinda badass... There could have been a lot

Sadly Subaru is trapped in a heroic fantasy and decided to rework the whole situation in a way where only the last moment counts were he took the hit for her and learned: I need to be a hero and do awesome stuff to be loved AND there is a right way to do things (there isn't)

its pretty telling that in the moment were Emilia smiles and tells him her name he says "it's not worth it at all" because what Subaru actually wants is Emilia to be indebted to him for the rest of her life, she's supposed to be the reward for all his suffering (no wonder he becomes resentful once she tries to distance herself) and so Emilia becomes Emilia-tan and Subaru will start to ignore every hint that she is waaaaay out of his league and that she doesn't need a protector

The last chapter from Reinhards perspective was really funny. Watching the series I never realized how low Reinhards self esteem is. I always thought he was just humble

The relationship between Felt and Rom was really sweet. I really hope they see each other again

Found family is a big theme in re:zero

I never realized how cold/emotionless Puck is

Spoiler for LN 2:They really sanded down Subarus edges for the anime. The scene were he pets Emilia's hair as a reward is suuuper uncomfortable (i still think he is a good boy at heart though)