Biding
[Written for @onetrickdiana after I got an interesting idea regarding Diana’s lore]
[Part 1]
A bell jingled as the door to Conner’s Carpet Conundrums swung open.
"You're the last one to show up." Conner Rennoc tutted from the counter.
"I don't want to hear it." Diana snapped. She stalked around the racks of thick, hanging rugs. She brushed the snow from her tiny black hat as she reached the counter.
"I smell like garlic and the damn weather is out to get me." She muttered and pinned the decorative hat back. The mesh vale covered her face and blurred her features. "The only good thing that came out of today was that I had to act like a fresh widow. Everyone was so polite in the streets."
“I’m sorry to hear about it. Your dagger, please.”
“Of course.” She dug an ornate dagger from her black skirts. The handle had delicate engravings of ancient characters. Gold plated the handle and the hilt, indicative of her status within the club. The thin, sterling silver blade had the serial code D352. Every member of the Order of the Exalted Lion had a dagger similar to Diana's. Every dagger had a code, unique to the member. The symbols warded away magic and monsters so that they couldn't be stolen. Each member had to present their dagger before they could enter club meetings. Conner showed her his own dagger. The handle was made of copper and the blade had the serial number C368.
"Still at gold, are we?" Conner commented as he opened the back door.
Diana hid the weapon again, “Sometimes the promotions don’t happen as fast as we’d like.”
"Amen to that. Say hello to the lads for me.”
“You’ll get your chance soon enough." She swished past him and into the back room. Her dark boots tapped down the wooden stairs. She hauled open the large, wooden door. The scent of burning pine embraced her. She padded along the thick rugs that sprawled across the cement floor.
"Diana, what a surprise. We thought the storm took you." A slim man greeted in a Scottish lilt. He sat at the head of a large table. His chiseled Grey beard contrasted his blue eyes neatly. A lavender ascot tied around his neck. Diana thought it looked smart against his silver waistcoat.
"Please pardon my tardy appearance, Master Mordex. The weather outside is horrid." Diana hung her overcoat on the rack and took her seat at the large table. On her left sat Horton Timis. He was a burly man with a sharp mustache. He lost three fingers in a fight against a warlock. He thought it was a fair price for victory. To her right sat Richard Lormuex. Everyone called him Tickety. Lormuex was a balding Frenchman. His eyes darted apprehensively between the members of the table. Occasionally, he wrung his hands and wet his lips.
Mordex smiled, "It's good to see that you made it safely. I'll be expecting your task report next week. I take it your mission went well?"
"One of my best yet." She grinned.
"Good. Anything else to report?”
“Conner says hello.”
“We’ll return the favour on our way out, tonight. Let's move on, now that we're all present. We'll skip the Oath today since we started late."
"With all due respect, Master Mordex,” Lormuex quipped, “but the Oath is a sacred practice – we can’t just skip it because her highness Diana waltzed in on behalf of the horrid weather.” He braced his hands on the table, “After all, the rest of the Quarter managed to make it on time. I don’t understand why you’re always so soft on – ahk!”
Diana spiked her dagger between his bony fingers. It stood, lodged in the table. "I have been around vampires all day, Richard. I have worn these stupid, disabling skirts all day. I reek of garlic, my boots are killing my feet and the weather outside is, frankly, unbearable. I had to bury a vampire in a blizzard, for God’s sake!" She wrenched the blade from the table and concealed back in her skirts. "What did you do today?"
Lormuex sank into his chair.
"That's what I thought. Shut up and stop wasting time."
The Quartermaster cleared his throat, amused, "Mr. Lormuex please stick around after tonight's meeting. Now, let us discuss the plans for the raid this weekend." He reached under the table and produced a stack of papers. "The scribes worked hard on these mission packages. They're expecting a generous thanks. A box will be passed around at the end of today's meeting for your contributions."
Each package was tied together with garden twine.
"Right," he began, once the pages circled back to him, "I've decided to give the position of mission leader to Diana."
"Uh, M-Master Mordex," Lormuex said, "How come it says my name then, in the package - under mission leader?"
Diana glared at him.
"I'm not an unreasonable man. But, sometimes, I just sort of… change my mind. Business owners tend to get used to such a luxury." Mordex winked at Diana. She smirked.
They discussed the plan for Saturday and everybody dropped a few pounds in the contribution box for the scribes.
Diana braved the storm as she headed back to her townhouse. The sad, little structure looked like it might blow over in the wind. She turned on the radiators and the cast-iron stove. She washed away the garlic and the grime of the day shoved her frozen toes into a pair of slippers. Quickly, she shimmied out of her gown and dawned some flannel pajamas. She studied herself in the bathroom mirror. Scowling at the sight of her unruly black hair, she dug out a pair of scissors from under the sink. She hadn't cut it in months and the locks started to stray past her chin. Carefully, she cut it just below her earlobes. Satisfied, she closed the lights and crawled into bed. She wedged her dagger between the headboard and the side of the mattress.
Diana fell fast into unconsciousness.
[~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~]
Sunlight scattered across Diana's eyelids. She cracked them open and gazed at the fluttering, sheer curtains. A warm breeze floated through the room. She frowned at the floral wallpaper and bolted upright. Automatically, she grabbed her dagger from beneath her pillow. The satin sheets rubbed nicely at her bare skin. The room she gazed upon looked roomier than her bedroom. A Persian rug decorated the hardwood floor. She’s never been able to afford such a luxury. She sat in a canopied, four poster bed. She noted the rocking chair in the corner. Her hunting gear rested on the upholstered seat and her satchel hung from the chair’s back.
Diana’s toes curled into the carpet as she approached the chair. She paused by the large mirror on the wardrobe. It showed her an odd mark on her shoulder. She was hit by a magic spell. As she assembled her armour, Diana tried to recall how she ended up naked in a strange bed. She searched her satchel for clues and found some folded papers. She unfurled the pages and skimmed the neat text.
She was supposed to be an extermination mission. She had no idea where the rest of her team went. She hoped they didn’t get captured with her. She grabbed her weapons from the wardrobe and set off.
She stepped into a corridor. There was a banister on one side and closed doors on the other. If she leaned against the banister, she could look across and see the other side of the floor. The hall ran in a circular shape. If she looked down, she could see all the way to the main hall downstairs. An elaborate chandelier hung from the ceiling and descended down, just past the top floor. She crept down the stairs, her hand trailing over the fat railing. Through the expanse of marble floors and elegant statues, Diana’s shoes clipped against the tiles. Eventually, she made it to the foyer where she slinked out through the double doors.
Warm sun hit her face and fields of green stretched as far as she could see. Wildflowers of all sizes and colors poked out from the grass. A cobblestone path snaked out from the patio in front of the doors. She spotted a farm on a hill and made out vaguely human shapes in the distance. Someone approached her from the stone path. He had long, silver hair pulled into a half bun. The soft features on his face offset a sharp jaw and jagged nose. Diana didn't miss the way his ears ended in points. A large set of transparent wings extended from his back and cast colourful shadows on the ground.
Diana shot a loaded arrow at him. She watched it slow down and halt in front of the fairy. He side stepped the frozen arrow like it was an inconvenience.
"We see the Lady has awoken. Sorry nobody was around to greet you. Some of your friends are trying to get through the defenses." he gave a deep bow, "Our name is Sunflower. Welcome to Our manor. "
“How did I get here?" Diana demanded.
"You gave yourself up - willingly, We might add."
"I'd never do such a thing."
"Mn, on the contrary, that's exactly what you did. You stepped through the fairy ring. Metaphorically, you signed Our contract - you belong to Us now."
"Damn it. How? I don't remember anything!"
"A side effect. You won't remember anything from the past ninety-six hours. That's just how the magic works. Sorry!"
"What kind of idiot leaves their captor completely alone - and doesn't bother to take her weapons away?" Diana complained, slinging her bow across her back.
"You saw what happened to your arrow."
"How do I leave?"
"So soon? We must insist you stay for dinner." He fluttered his eyelashes, playfully.
"Stop playing games, Sunflower."
"You can't leave." He scowled as his wings flexed straighter.
"Yes, I can! There's always a way with you lot. A deal or something?"
Sunflower smiled, and his teeth flashed against the sun. "You've done your research. We’re not impressed, per say, but We can make you a deal. Give Us your most valued possession and We will set you free."
"Most of my valuables are in my house. How do you expect me to -"
"Nonsense, Diana. Your most valuable possession is right here, with you. Until you can cough it up, We suggest you make yourself at home. Dinner starts when the sun sets. The wardrobe in your bedroom will give you any outfit you desire. Wear something nice this evening - you'll be meeting the rest of the family. "
"Wonderful. Anything else?"
"Ah…. Yes. Every night, before you turn in, We'll be at your door, expecting a payment. If you don't have anything to satisfy the agreement, We will leave and you can try again the next night."
"Fine. I'll see you at dinner."
"Excellent! We'll be off." Sunflower started in the same direction he came from. Diana watched his form slip beyond the hill. She decided to head westward. The manor soon disappeared behind a thicket of trees. She crossed a small stream and ended up in a cleaning. It took longer than she'd like but Diana ended up at the edge of the property. A row of mushrooms marked the end of the fairy ring. She pulled the papers from her pocket and read them. Master Mordex always made sure to be explicit and meticulous in his plans.
We are looking for a ring of mushrooms. The largest diameter it can be is approximately 5 meters. The smallest is 2 meters. Do not be fooled - this small ring of fungi holds powerful magic many of us can't fathom to understand. Under no circumstances are you to set foot in this circle.
So it’s a transporter of sorts? Diana wondered, pocketing the papers. Well, She reasoned as she backed up from the boarder, if things can come in… she loaded an arrow, it should stand to reason… that things can go out. The arrow snapped free and soared.
Once, during a goblin raid, Diana took out five goblins before something knocked her out from behind. When she woke up, the dust had settled, and the goblins were done for. She found the rest of the team as they counted up the bodies. One of the members tried to claim Diana's kills as his own. Diana had no way to prove that the arrows sticking out of the dead creatures were hers. Master Mordex seemed to be on her side but it was hard to quell the controversy amongst the other men. Since then, Diana died the feathers of her arrows a custom shade of blue – so as to leave out any room for potential confusion in the future.
She watched the arrow race to the boundary. It collided solidly against the air and exploded in a shower of sparks.
"So much for that." She grumbled, putting the weapon away. “They did say the barrier was magical.” Diana rubbed at her face and dug through the contents of her satchel. From the depths of the bag, she retrieved several packages of salt and other herbs. She removed led and silver bullets, her wallet and an Azul eye amulet. The leather cord dangled down from her hand. The gleaming blue eye winked against the sunlight. To ward away evil curses and the common jinx. She remembered. It seemed anti-magical enough.
With a grunt, she hurled the amulet at the barrier. The leather cord streamed after the blue eye like a tail. It hit the wall with a thunk and plummeted to the ground. Diana retrieved the amulet and sighed at the crack that ran down the center. She put it alongside the herbs and the wallet and the bullets. Once more, she dove into the depths of her bag. Her fingers curled around the cold hand of her dagger. She liked the way the engraved handle scratched the surface of her palm. It gleamed in the canopied sun and Diana took another look at the invisible barrier.
“Dearest brethren of the Quarter, please forgive my actions.” She swallowed. She chucked the knife as hard as she could at the barrier. The engravings lit up a bright, scarlet red as it sank beyond the barrier and out of sight. She stared after it.
A breeze picked up around her and the river bubbled distantly. She headed back through the forest and formulated a new plan. The Quarter could take all the time they needed.
She had some fairies to exterminate, after all.
[~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~]
Quartermaster Octavius Mordex owned a very successful scribing business. Anyone would describe him as quiet and just a little bit terrifying. Very few people could actually describe a time where the Quartermaster displayed a fit of anger.
Richard Lormuex was a balding, timid man of French descent. Most wondered why he bothered to join the monster hunters - considering his constant state of apprehension. Hardly anybody calls him by his real name. After several months of service, he earned the nick-name Rickety-Tickety. Sometimes his worries get the best of him and things around him, including Richard himself, seem to reach their last tick.
"Richard Lormuex!" Mordex bellowed. The frosty wind whipped his black coat wayward. The other hunting members watched silently as Mordex allowed his quaint demeanor to slip away into something feral.
"I hereby order you to relinquish your status from the Order of the Exalted Lion." Mordex took large strides into Lormuex 's personal space. “Please,” He swallowed, “hand over your dagger.”
The balding man trembled, "Don't I at least get a trial?"
"You could have killed one of our finest warriors." Mordex growled. He addressed the rest of the Order, "All those in favor of Richard Lormuex 's exile from the monster hunting society, say 'aye'!"
"Aye." Barked the men. Their agreement shook the forest to its core.
Lormuex looked on in betrayal. "But, Master Mordex, please, you can't do this. Not when I'm so close to -"
"Your dagger, now Mr. Lormuex." He murmured quietly, "we don't have all day."
Lormuex placed his silver dagger in Mordex's upturned glove.
"Dismissed. We thank you for your service." Mordex whispered a prayer at the base of the dagger. His eyes fluttered closed as he held it against his mouth.
"Thank you for your service." The team repeated.
Lormuex took one last look and fled the forest.
Mordex sighed and stored the dagger in his jacket. "We should head back to the town. From there, we’ll regroup and plan a rescue mission.”
“What – and just leave her in there?” Horton scoffed, “They could be doing a whole manor of things to her. Besides, what’s in the village that we don’t have right here?”
“There are more men in town. We’ll be ambushed if we decide to attack now. Diana is fine, trust me.
“Actually,” Charlie said, “If it’s lads you need, I can just ride into town while you lot come up with a plan. I’ll’ve returned with the other Order members by the time you’re ready.
“There’s a lad, Charlie!” Horton goaded. The other members murmured in agreement.
“What will it be, Quartermaster?” Horton asked.
Mordex sighed, “Fine. Charlie retrieves more resources. Dunkin, you’re in charge of setting up camp – tents, firewood, you know what to do. Jackson and Lard will help me create a new plan. We regroup in two hours. We don’t have time to waste!”
[~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~]
Diana stood in her borrowed room and paced in her under-armour.
"I want something sleek but classy." She listed at the wardrobe, " I want to feel confident and look unsuspecting. And I need somewhere clever to hide my guns and bullets. Hopefully, that isn’t too complicated for you.”
The wardrobe thumped twice.
Diana opened the oak doors and inspected the gown inside. The three-quarter sleeves were made of dark green lace. The lace came up to the base of the neck and covered the shoulders and clavicle. It stopped at a red, satin, V-shaped neckline. The satin parted high at the waist as it draped into a modest skirt. White pleats ran down the center of the skirt. Green stitching hemmed the bottom of each pleat. Dizzying green and gold swirls embroidered the red satin. She frowned at the corset tie in the back.
"I'll need help with that. " She noted and rang the service bell by the bed. In her home, back in London, Diana had a wooden machine that tightened her dresses with a crank – no help required. Someone knocked on the door immediately. Diana let them in.
A lady with fine lines around her eyes stepped in. Her hair streaked Grey in some places and she stood much shorter than Diana.
"I understand you need help, miss?" Her eyes darted wryly around the room and back at Diana.
"Yes, I can’t tie the dress on my own… have we met before?" Diana recognized her bulging eyes and the apprehensive twist of her thin lips.
"Oh, certainly not. I'd remember a lady like you."
"You aren't a fairy." Diana noted as she slipped into the dress.
"Ah, no, miss. I'm like you, I suppose. I got trapped -" She grunted as she tugged on the lace, "- in a stupid ring of mushrooms. There you go, all tied up and pretty.
"Thank you."
"Give us a twirl, yeah?"
Diana spun half-heartedly.
"Oh, you're stunning. What's your name, love?"
"Diana… Flintlock." Diana shook the lady's clammy hands.
"Pleasure to meet ya. I'm Michelle Lormuex. We can be friends, if you'd like. It can't hurt to have a friend in a place like this."
Diana nearly stuttered, "You don't happen to have a brother, do you?"
"I do! You've met little Richey?"
"Yep." She sighed.
"Oh,” her face fell, “he's upset you, hasn't he. Tell me - what's he done this time?"
"That's the problem: I lost my memory of the past few days. I don't know what it is but whenever I think of your brother… I get the strongest feeling of discontent. "
"Well, I'm sorry for whatever he's done. Mom tried her best and I looked out for him when she couldn't but he's always so terribly nervous - sometimes he just… well,"
"Snaps?"
"Occasionally, yeah. He’s incredibly bright, I tell you. He went away to America for engineering!"
"Mm. Will I see you at dinner?”
“Of course! Oh – I should probably get ready! I’ll see you in a few.” She bustled out and closed the door.
Diana turned back to the wardrobe and inspected the accessories that were left on the shelf. She found two lacey garters, leather boots and a beaded purse. Upon closer inspection, the dark red garters had pouches stitched to the side.
“It’s like a holster made of lace and satin.” She murmured. She slipped them on under the gown, all the way up her thighs. She wrestled with the belts until they clung gently to her skin. “Don’t get me wrong,” she said to her reflection, “the dress is stunning, and the garters are very clever things but I don’t understand how to access my guns. I mean, I can – I’ve managed dresses before. But I figured you’d have an easier solution..?”
The mirror on the wardrobe decided to do something very odd. In that moment, Diana’s reflection slid its hands down the sides of the dress. Its hands disappeared inside the thick inlays of satin gown and retrieved the guns. The refection winked as it twirled the guns. Diana looked down at her waist and felt around the soft skirt. Her fingers slipped between two slits and she laughed.
“Oh you are gorgeous – pockets! Who could’ve thought?” She shoved her hands deeper and felt a metallic zipper at the bottom of the pockets. Curious, she tugged open the zippers and dug deeper through the skirts. She went all the way until she could feel the holsters around her legs. “I could get used to a wardrobe like you. Perhaps I’ll take you home with me.” She loaded bullets into the barrels of her guns and slipped them into the garters.
Next, she inspected the boots. Golden buckles complimented the emerald-green leather. A short heal jutted out of the bottom. She noticed golden zippers along the sides of the boots and stored extra bullets in the small pouches. Each boot held five bullets.
Finally, she grabbed the purse. It had red and gold beading held together by a golden clasp. She filled it with bullets and packets of salt.
Diana took a few minutes to pin a golden rose buckle in the side of her short hair. Then, smeared on some lipstick, spritzed a bit of perfume and went down for dinner.
[~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~]
The remaining members of the Order sat around a fire, surrounded by newly pitched tents.
“We’re going to need everyone’s warding herbs – every last speck.” The Quartermaster explained, “We have to establish a bridge between here and whatever lies beyond that ring. I need to cross over, find the hostage and return safely. Now, the other thing is…” Mordex frowned, “What was that?”
The small ring of mushrooms rustled. They sounded like tiny bells as their caps knocked against themselves. The Order leaned closer to get a better look. Something sharp and shiny whizzed past their heads. Silver and gold gleamed under the bleak, winter sky. It landed a few meters away from their camp.
“I’ve got it.” Horton said. He lumbered into the thickets and returned a moment later with a blade in his hand. Everyone in the Order recognized the shape and design of the dagger. They had to – after all, each had a similar weapon concealed in their coats.
Mordex took the dagger. It felt warm, even through his gloved hands. “D352 – isn’t that something…”
“That’s Diana’s number.” Horton noted.
“Aye.”
“She … threw away her dagger? That’s not right.”
“No. I don’t blame her – given the circumstances. The enchantments on the daggers make them impervious to magic. It’s her way of letting us know she’s safe – and she intends on a swift return.”
“That certainly sounds like the Diana we know. I hope Charlie returns soon.”
“He’ll get here, eventually. Now, let’s start with the warding herbs and then we can complete the second part of our rescue mission.”
[~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~]
The magnificent dining room was everything one would expect out of a lord’s mansion. The staff had set the grand table in pristine cloth, porcelain plates and crystal glasses for a whole slew of beverages.
“Please, find your place cards and get comfortable.” Sunflower gestured from the head of the table.
Diana found her place next to Sunflower.
“Huntress.” She murmured, reading her card. The script was gold and paper reflected iridescently under the chandelier. “It’s fitting, I suppose.” She set it back down and admired the many utensils that lay beside her plate.
“We knew you’d like it! You’re the biggest name in the Underground, you know. Well, besides Octavius Mordex – but he’s the Quartermaster of an organization bent on killing otherworldly creatures.”
“And yet, you’ve invited me to dinner?”
“Of course, We did! You are a guest in Our home.” He looked scandalized.
“Is Michelle a guest too? Or did you decide to turn her into a house maid?”
“Usually my staff answer the service bell, but Michelle insisted to visit you first – she wanted to make sure you settled in. The nerve that you even asked Us such a thing! Honestly, Our dear.” Sunflower shook their head, “Michelle is free to do what she pleases. Oh, look, there she comes.”
“Hello, Sunflower.” Michelle took the empty seat next to Diana, “I like what you did with those roses – they match your complexion.” She gestured at the woven crown in Sunflower’s hair.
“Why, thank you, Michelle.” He cleared their throat, “Thank you all for joining Us today. I’d like to introduce you to the newest member of Our household – Diana the huntress. Do be careful, Our dears, she bites. If you’ll turn your place cards over, you’ll find tonight’s menu on the back. Cheers, loves.”
The footmen filed through the huge doors and started serving the first course. Diana recognized some of roots and berries, and the spices had a familiar zing to them. The leaves looked a little strange, but they tasted like arugula and spinach. Around her, the fairies spoke to each other in different tongues. She only understood Sunflower – who seemed to be the only fairy at the table who spoke in English – and Michelle. Diana conversed automatically when it seemed appropriate and paid no attention to the subject matter.
The second course was served. The squash soup felt creamy upon her tongue. Diana counted twelve elves at the table and five waitstaff. She tried to estimate how many maids were in the scullery, how many chefs were in the kitchen and how many groundskeepers were out in the fields.
The staff served the third course. On the plate sat a sweet potato pate, garnished with chestnuts and parsley. Diana estimated that about thirty fairies lived on this property. She knew they outnumbered her.
Course number four was a thick slice of bear. The meat felt softer than beef but it tasted sweeter, somehow. If she took out Sunflower first, the estate would go into chaos. Diana chewed sternly and slipped a hand beneath the table. Concealed by the table cloth, she pulled a gun from her thick skirts.
“Diana, Our dear,” Sunflower said, “We’re assuming you’ve never tried bear before.”
“It’s not very common, where I’m from. But I could get used to it.” She smiled easily.
Diana took several more bites. On the seventh bite, she revealed her gun and opened fire. Michelle shrieked and ducked under the table. Her bullets disappeared as soon as they blasted from her gun. The fairies seemed mildly disappointed, their lips turned downward. Sunflower gasped, clutched at his shoulder and screwed his eyes shut.
“Oh for the love of everything that is celestial and eternal – We’ve been shot! Oh how will We ever cope with the pain, the agony, the suffering.” He whined, “Oh great mistress Diana, huntress of divine beasts – how could you do this to Us?” His mouth twisted into an unsettling smile. Slowly, he rose from his seat and his mighty wings fanned out behind him. They cast the whole room in scattered pieces of coloured light. “While We think your production was enticing in every aspect, the rest of the dinner party does not share Our opinion. You may stay, Diana, and finish dinner with us. We’re afraid you’ve ruined the mood. Unfortunately, food is not a commodity to waste. All of your weapons and armour shall be confiscated this evening. We will give them back when you leave.”
Diana fell back in her chair and scowled. Michelle – pale-faced and trembling – crawled back out from under the table and brushed herself off.
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