#THATS MY SON LEAVE HIM ALONE MHY

[xiameow]

ok marius is kinda hot but i never said that

[diaryofdulchie]

April 17th, 2021

It's Saturday. He has been working 15:00 - 00:00 shift since Wednesday. And he has been high and awake since then.

He claims that he has taken 6 sleeping talets, but he is very much awake. Thining to myself that taking a line (or bullet) after a sleeping pill, defeats the purpose of the pill. and eventtually creates a new type of high. I told him that he needs to give me money at the end of the month for our daughter's birthday in May, seeing as she is the only child he buys things for, and the fact that he didnt contribute any money towards our son's 1st birthday in March. ALong with mine... but he has never done anything special for me on my birthday anyway... atleast he didnt fight with me this year on my birthday.

I dont know how much longer of this bullshit i can take. It has been consistant from December 21st. It takes alot from me to keep quiet and not wanting to beat the shit out of him... wanting him to wake up and realise that he needs to grow up. he has responsibilities. we have kids.

altough he pays for the house and the maid, thats it. literally. he is in no shape or form a partner to me. i have to do it all alone. he doesnt do anything to help with the kids, at all, ever.

he stays in whichever room is open, when he is at home, and high. and thats our life. daddy is never home, and when he is, he is ''sleeping''. and most of the time, mommy is tired and irritated and her patience is very little.

if i had the finances to get out yesterday, i would leave and never talk to him again. just close the book of my life that he was a part of, and burn the damn thing. It wasnt all bad, i must admit. but i cant remeber anything that was good anymore? im always doing things alone. family gatherings, birthdays, weekends, holidays. if he is around, he is always in front of the tv, purposely staying away from me. which i dont understand because the 2 instances that i did want to leave him before, he begged and cried and pleaded for me not to. and for what? to live this live of loneliness anyway?

i deserve better. i am an amazing woman. i have beautiful kids and i can do better, and be happier on mhy own.

I am thankful and greaful for the blessings in my life. i am working hard to attract freedom and independance. i need to get away. for my kids' sake.