#THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT TOO MUCH FUCKING SUGAR.

[pumpkinsy0]

Adding onto your curly and pony holiday hcs, I personally hc that pony would have a really hard time around the holidays without his parents so do you possibly have any hcs for how curly might help pony feel better about celebrating and helping him get through the holidays? Fun idea I had about this could also be darry and soda kinda chilling out about curly being around during the holidays because they see how much he's helping pony

ponyboy w seasonal depression??? awe yea i can work w this,,,

domestic papercut will be here as well they need to take a break sometimes and just chill

•pony tends to kinda distance himself without rlly knowing, its not that he doesnt want to hang out its just he feels bad when he does, bc he feels like something is missing

•and thats when curlys jolly ass steps in, hes like santa clause for pony but if santa was a broke black teenage kid w way too much time on his hands

•curlys favorite holiday is actually christmas i can feel it, right up there w halloween, so to have ponyboy sad on this fine holiday??? something MUST be done

•curly showed pony his ugly ass fucking christmas sweater he was wearing to make pony happy

•he did sneak through a window, BUT he did brink over some akasan (this cornmeal drink in haiti u can drink it warm it taste great i promise) AND it was somehow still warm, he knows how pony like warm drinks brah

•he also brought over pain mais (its like cornbread but made w banana, sugar, vanilla, milk, yada yada), pony liked it this one time and tim made some earlier so he brought some over

•they had a lil snack sesh, which pony needed SO bad bc he wouldnt eat a good chunk of the food tim was making before

•he actually also bought pony his own ugly christmas sweater but pony was NOT wearing that bs (he’s def wearing it later)

•after that happened, curly wanted to go out and just fuck around in the snow but pony wouldnt budge so curly went outside and was playing around in the snow (by playing around i mean throwing snow at literally any innocent passerby and at ponys window) to make pony laugh, also threw some at ponys window

•pony DID come outside, WHAT a happy day, and he jsut, laid in the snow, making snow angels

•curly just plopped down into the snow w him and curly just let pony talk about whatever he wanted, he looked like he needed it

• pony felt bad for even telling curly that he just felt down but curly said “shared happiness is double the happiness, shared sadness is half the sadness, or whatever that one nigga from ur book said idfk” curly ezekiel shepard everyone, our king

•while they were talking, darry and soda came home and saw them on the lawn and for the first time, they didnt say anything and just let them be bc pony was smiling for the first time in a while and thats all they wanted so papercut lives to see another day,,,for now,,,

•and yknow what???pony DID feel less upset today!! however he did feel like every singular one of his limbs were about to fall off bc they were so numb so they had to go inside

•they walked in, were surprised to see darry and sodabc they dudnt even know they came home and maybe it was that holiday spirit consuming them, but they made hot cocoa for everyone!! including curly!! what a happy day

[slocumjoe]

I think a body swap could be interesting to see with sole and the companions especially with differences in body or faction would you mind giving it a try?

I did this for one (1) specific meme

Disney Channel Strikes Again

Cait; ends up in X6-88 and has a surprisingly good time. For one, he hasn't treated his body like a amusement park you can't get kicked out of. Secondly, he's literally made to be a prime specimen. Mostly just wanders around, amazed at how much better she feels. She's not even bothered by the change of scenery, so to speak. She's way too excited to see what it's like not having joint pain and constant chills. And his head doesn't hurt! And his reflexes are amazing, it's like she can see, hear, feel everything around her before it even happens. She would take the opportunity to take the Courser life for a joyride, but being in his body, Cait gets a firsthand look at just how fucked she could be when they switch back, and wisely decides to take it easy.

Curie; gets to see what life is like for Hancock. Horrified. Traumatized. Disgusted. Confused. Curious. Intrigued. For one, getting such a personal experience as a ghoul is useful, and she does enjoy the learning experience. On the other hand, Hancock is one of those people that's treats his body like its a bumper car, and Curie is not. She has to figure out what the dull pain in her head is from. Is that a symptom of being a ghoul, or is it from his excessive chem usage, lack of sleep, and refusal to drink water? Then it's the frailness. Hancock isn't fragile, but he is scrawny, where Curie eats and rests more. She has weight, Hancock doesn't. The fun part happens when withdrawal kicks in. After the debacle, Hancock finds himself a few pounds heavier, hydrated, well-rested, and with no urge to take chems. Curie basically tidied his health up for him while he was out. And is adamant he try to maintain it.

Danse; gets to live as Preston for a bit. And the funny thing is, since both of them are insomniac workaholics who don't pay attention to their physical needs, Danse didn't notice until he went to work in the garage, and didn't recognize the hand he was using. Danse takes this the worst. Not only does he not want the person who got his body to have his body, he doesn't want to have a body that isn't his own body. He's already been through this. That didn't go well. The whole time, Danse is in a crisis. It's not fun to watch yourself from an outside perspective. But as for the body, the only thing that bothered him was that it wasn't his.

Deacon;

Deacon gets Gage and continues as normal.

Gage; gets to be Piper for a day and also has a bad time. For one, her caffeine/sugar/nicotine addiction is more like a phantom haunting his every waking moment, and he finds it hard to think if he doesn't have at least one of them in his system. Her system? Whatever. Secondly, being a woman in the wasteland sucks major ass. He knew that before. Getting to live it for a time turns him into a passionate man-hater. Also, it's just fucking weird to be 20 again. He can feel the bad decisions of the 20 year old brain, whispering just beneath his 40 year old sensibilities. Once they're back in their respective bodies, claps her on the shoulder and tells her it gets better. Its maybe the first time he's expressed sympathy in his life.

Hancock; ends up in Danse. Hancock hates it as much as Danse does, but...for an unexpected reason. See, Hancock is a creature of...indulgence. Whims. Desires. And Danse is...Hancock never saw him that way, because, y'know, they fucking hate each other, but in this circumstance, when Danse isn't Danse...he ain't ugly, thats for damn sure. So, Hancock was neutral to the concept, until he looked down and got to see the view. This infuriates Hancock. Why does the technofascist get triple-J cups? And then he couldn't do chems, because...well, not his body to treat like a bumper car. And then he got to experience a war vet's PTSD throughout his time. Hancock isn't jumpy. Being jumpy at things he, himself, found normal was a trip. Hancock is all too happy to get out. Especially since Curie took his body to the dry cleaners.

MacCready; switches with Cait. Much like Danse and Preston, Mac and Cait have similar bodies and physical sensations. So, didn't notice until someone addressed him as Cait. MacCready is the one to suffer the most dysphoria, and finds he really isn't comfortable in a lady's body, despite his wildest fantasies as a horny teenager. He tries to ignore it, but it's the little things. Moving your arms feels different when there's a pouch of fat on either pectoral. Moving your legs feels different with nothing in-between. He also tries to be as respectful as possible and refuses to piss, so Cait ends up nearly pissing herself when she gets back in. She both does and doesn't appreciate it.

Nick;

Piper; gets MacCready and knows the moment it happens. How does she know? Piper is a clean freak who's kind of obsessive over her hygiene. One second with MacCready's body and she knew something was dreadfully wrong. If she were a bolder, less considerate person, she'd take his body and walk through a car wash. As it stands, grants him that privacy. She just strips to his underwear, power brushes his teeth, and scrubs everywhere that isn't private with a washcloth and soap until his skin is red. MacCready doesn't appreciate this. Everyone else does.

Preston; is Deacon and mostly unbothered. Mostly. Aside from the what the fuck is happening, Deacon is not the worst person to bodyswap with. He's decently clean, he's of average health. And besides, Preston spends most of his time trying to calm down Danse, who is living in a nightmare. He doesn't get a lot of time to freak out himself. He's just trying to keep Danse from offing himself, because he's in Preston's body. And Preston needs that back, man.

X6-88; gets to live as tiny, soft little Curie, and hates it. She's so short. Her hands are useless. She's lacks agility and endurance. Her voice is akin to a baby lamb. It's horrible. People make googoo eyes at him, speak like he's a startled puppy, and if they're really dumb, make unwanted advances. Curie never has to deal with suitors again. X6-88 scares them all off. He chases Cait as himself down and threatens murder-suicide if she so much as gets him scratched. He might have hated the experience, but seeing Curie act like X6 was a treat for all who ever wondered what she'd be like if she snapped.

[prestonmonterey]

camp here and there thoughts

considered spamming my friend, but instead ill put stuff here.

this is all my thoughts from as im listening to it, btw

sydney and jedidiah are quincent confirmed?!! (not clickbait)

i will literally eat up any character named rowan no questions asked

the first bit with the penguins reminds me of burrows end

one of my favorite silly weird things is time going past the numbers it should (reminds me of everything is fine. i think it was like, the first episode? digital clock goes from 2:59 to 2:60? super cool, love it)

"let us live to die another day" (will you live to see tomorrow or die another dayyy// once a spy always a spy.... sorry, sorry)

i love that theres emojis in the transscripts

i feel so bad for the vegans at camp

mentions of apocalypse? a character called rowan? (you know what time it is folks: obscure lyric references!!!! (my beautiful apocolypse, if i asked you to be mine, would our purposes align?) again, sorry. ill stop. no i wont.)

woo! sydney feelings hour!

i love syndey telling his tape recorder not to tell anyone about his hallucinations

ok random thing i just noticed the titles have like part of the one before them and part of the one after and thats just pretty cool

why is the sky always bad

sydney being very normal about death and jedidiah bein like 'no' is also very quincent

interesting the 'when you die you will rot' is a recurring thing

sydeys laugh is so cute i love himmm

ok so theres like a spider cabin, moth cabin, ladybug cabin and BATTLE CABIN?

children being bribed by sugar is one of the most realistic parts of this

ok but the distinction between reanimation and true necromancy is actually really cool

sydney as much as i love you why the heck did you say thick like that

(when youre a ghost recorder, no one knows your name, but they wont try to stop you if you arent playing the game)

'our bedroom' actually screaming

the voice acting is such yum

again, sydneys noncholance about death related things

omg gay?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor jedidiah is so pathetic and bbg

for the record i hate oposite day too

gasp: a navarro (makes sense shes a tyrant) (im refrencing gentlemens guide to love and murder? i think? i dont even know at this point)

i love that all of ep 5 is sydney being too extra and jedidiah being the most exasperated

ok so maybe the implication is that matthew isnt human, but also ppl can have extra color cones, but only afab ppl bc color cones are in the x chromosome (thats also why men are more likely to be color blind) so trans matthew hc now

sydney are your eyes ok??

justice for sydneys fancy soap

if someone does magic and hurts sydney i will cry

ok so now with confirmation that they use analog clocks i really wana know what they look like

also i was thinking about why the music from last ep reminded me of something v specific and i think its yokai watch?

"babe" ok theyve got to be gay right???

sydneys allergic to seeing goo? interesting

father time? a bastard? omg you know what time it is (hehehe time bastard)

sydney and jedidiah are so cute im actually going to die

aww i want lava cake w real lava :( (fun fact by strange definition water is technicaly a form of lava)

ok so the amount of wholesomeness makes me think something bad is going to happen

"theyre penny loafers :("

rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan!!!

the audio design is so yummy idk if i said that already

(uhh i accidentaly skipped most of ep six so back to that)

(the elephant man is just dead ambrose and sydney is vincent if they werre better at communicating)

"worms arent people" uh, YES THEY ARE, rude.

jedidiah whatever your project is it cant be so important that you havent played chess with your bf in A COUPLE OF YEARS wtf

(ok now to regularly scheduled friendship goo)

sydney calling the camper different animals is one of my favorite things

why is the sky always fucked up

"scary things like...men" sir you are men (but also same i am so scared of men and also are men)

jeDIDiah lmao

"your husband" and sydney just goes with it

ok but why is sydney slowly giving more and more louis taopp vibes (plz dont be like him)

i love casual loredrops about chocolate shortages

"friends" sure.. sure.

ok... so sydney did know that jedidiah had pics of him in his office? bc they used to be on the corkboard/?????

poor bb sydney is sad that his husband isnt telling him things

"[Scoffs] Friend. As if we’re not… we’re not… [Sighs] we’re not." noo im gonna actually cry (i am- i was... i'm supposed to be the best/ref)

i wanna see sydneys haunted house and skeleton cat drawings :(

"Put the Silly Putty back. You don’t need more Silly Putty." (my friends @ me when i watch another musical) (myself @ me when i eat another one of rowans fandoms >:3)

"co-nurse" idk if hes actually the assistant or not but i think sydney calls him that bc control? bc he wants power

also jedidiah uses am and pm which is interesting bc i dont think sydney does

ok now i get why sydney doesnt like joshua

the trivia sections of fan wikis are my favorite thing on this planet. "it is unknown whether or not the color green exists"

btw they actually mention green eggs and ham in ep 1 so i think its at least a concept

i still hc trans matthew. no fan wiki can take that away from me >:(

juniper daddy issues confirmed??

"Well, we can — petition her!" (i will try to petition my father/ref sorry sorry sorry)

Wait, one more: Cunt.  (uuh, fucker /ref. will anyone even get that one? its filled my brain. i dont remember any quotes before or after... it's taopp. uh, the scene with louis and jason in the hallway or something)

we love sydney trauma dumping 2 mins into an ep

i wonder if he sometimes forgets hes broadcasting to a bunch of middle schoolers

i wonder if joshua knows that middle schoolers arent usually 14

i love that sydney doesnt know what oatmeal is

sydney: if only my husband would play 20 dimensional chess w me :(

"Lucille has a flamethrower. You have to listen to what she says." the only lesson ever

natsume def has parent issues

just remembered that the trees produce defensive slick

i want teethh flowers :(

"and I fear that the end is near." (the end is coming, the end is coming! /ref)

"as sweet, and patient, and motherly, and forgiving as she is" so... not at all?

i love the silly old timey music omg its so fun

gasp cannon date. thats crazy. someone better have a timeline theory bout this.

aww no teeth flowers? :(

im concerned about sorens stones

is the ticking clock new? it feels new

oh huneee :(

just remembered the notes in the description. thats lore, right? prolly im too lazy to check.

Word to the wise: you ever come across that statue, do not look her in the eyes. (the fact that it rhymes too) (someone should make a cover of a word to the wise but with this line) (please?)

matthew appreciation time

sydney mommy issues?

jesus heck how many cabins are there?

is that what the pebbles were for???? im still scared.

sydney's silly drum roll gives me life

im actually so in love with matthew

sacrificial rituals, yay!

D: can they just be gay and happy? please?

they better get happy >:(

the spooky is rly goodd tho

mommy issues: the episode?

again, we love sydney trauma time before minute 3 of the episode

mila is a theater kid confirmed?!

sydney it seems like theres alot to unpack about your mom...

i dont think i want to know what horn sap is

"It’s all very delightful, b-but quite strange" idk the way he says that line is so vincentcore

im v worried for marie ann

"Don’t worry — they aren’t real ants. But it is a real log! " honestly id rather eat ants than a whole tree

"bending over to whisper in my ear." sydney is a short king <3

ohh the centipedes

i love the contrast of ideas its super spooky.

 “I’ve just got to do better,”  (never let yourself rest, they can try to despise you, but not your success) (also ambrose vibes. idk, but like maybe jedidiah has a similar 'if im perfect then people will finally love me' thing goin on?)

 “Give me a hard time, okay? We both deserve that.” (more ambrose vibes)

i think hes looking for validation from lucille?

i like that the va's voice patterns makes it clear when hes talking quietly even though the audios still at the same volume

"I know I’ve constructed a few effigies in my time. " (effigies of the god appolo, dickweed /ref)

"There is a clear block of resin on my desk with a centipede inside. He wants to swap places with me. Lately, I am tempted to let him." spooky

(last couple eps had, like, news broadcasts at the beginning? idk if its been like that the whole time, but probably lore stuff.)

o no is it rock time? (also soren sounds like such a cartoon character i cannot get over it)

is mother of stones the reanimation lady from the death fields or whatever?

i love that the only actually vegan thing given to the vegans so far is assorted leaves

i have a feeling that normal day might not be normal...

idk why would worshiping a statue of stones to be reborn into a second life in the middle of the forest be illegal?

ohh its bc normal day i already forgot/

" Un-resurrect? Un… resurrect… Were we going to “surrect” the rabbit?" (i prefer 'mercy killing' /ref)

i want juniper and joshua rivals to lovers/rivals to friends content. just putting that out there.

sydney just kill the rabbit

ok the fact that sydney is worried about this death-related thing is really unsettling

aoisfeorgijefmoigjt4ri4tgoirjjitog this is so spooky i love it so much

sydney needs proper therapy

"I know I’m beating a dead horse, but the guy wants something from me, and he does something to me, and I don’t like that he just gets to be around no matter how much I protest!" (grace when max)

and it all comes back to control

poor baby boy

:(((((((((((((((((((((((

(poor boy, tormented /ref)

why he bri'ish

nevermind i dont want juniper content anymore

"jeddie, m'boy"

why does anyone like him

yes, yes rowan is handsome

himbo juniper, but i still hate him

"it’ll steal all your nutrients until you wither and die!" (its infectious, its deadly, its one to be feared /ref)

"I’ve always wanted to be killed by something that loved me." dont. dont say that sydney.

soren is the dark magic sugar daddy of camp. prove me wrong.

"Would a child really do that? Just come to Summer Camp and tell lies?" yes. they would.

song? song!!!!

if this isnt on the soundtrack imma be pissed

idk how to explain this, but salems voice is really sharp

i certainly dont want to know what ostrich cream is...

if this makes sydney bottle up his feeling and muck up his relationship with jedidiah more im not gonna be happy

(ok so i was just informed that its going to get worse and,, i dont know how to emotionally prepare myself.) (also its past 10:30 pm so bear with me if my thoughts get a lil incoherent. as if they ever were coherent)

cant remember if this happens with sydney too but theres static when jedidiah says the time. interesting

so sydneys smoke thing is unique to him??

we do love occupying characters with a physical task during conversations

ig marisol prioritizes efficiency and salem prioritizes the wellbeing of the kids

also salem dont badmouth sydnel like that

gay??

more confirmation that sydney needs therapy

im v glad marisols on sydneys side

jedidiah is bein kinda silly, marisols like 'he makes me uncomfy' and hes like 'just dont feel uncomfy'

if only sydney and jedidiah were as good at communication as the sapphics

love that sydney is like 'dont swear!!!!' but dumps all of his trauma on the kids

noo im sad :(

"It’s a laaaaaazy day today." <<<(me tomorrow after not sleeping all night)

nothing bad better happen on the speepy day >:(

"Men. Men sure are mysterious." mood

"I can’t describe how it feels to see a blue sky… almost… apocalyptic. " i love subverting expectations and turning something ordinary into something completely paranormal.

also vambrose moment (the apple)

o great thats where the canibalism comes in

eugh

i do not want

(and this is why salem is worried about you buddy. dont share stuff like that with kids.)

on the other hand kids arent, like innocent to this type of thing, really. i used to babysit my friends lil sister ( i think she was in 2nd or 3rd grade?) shed make lego skits about people murdering eachother, with like, a lot of detail too. and i dont think she was raised on particularly violent media. she played pokemon go on her parents phone or doodles in kids drawing apps. i think kids just kinda gravitate towards these kinds of things, especially if theyre told theyre not supposed to.

o no sydney being normal about the elephant man is not good

"You get hungry." hungy theme within his dreams?

"I like animals because they never forget to be scared: of starving, of getting eaten, of getting hurt or sick." also reaccuring thing from the bunny

and centipede thing. and ants. (im guessing bc its a dream it s lots of things relating to his current situation, especially thematically) (also i believe ants were brought up at some point when he said something along the lines of 'it felt like ants were eating my stomach lining'

the writing is so good its unfair

"I should never have forgotten to be scared." this is really interesting bc so far hes only been really scared by the elephant man.

"and none of the birds could speak English." ok i think its extremely disturbing to consider the fact that 'its a uniquely human thing to surpress pain' so the birds CAN talk but theyre still animals. they never forget to be scared and they never think to hide their discomfort.

also geez this episode is so dark compared to the others. it makes sense in universe, bc most of this is going on in sydneys head.

noo matthew was affected he better be ok after >:(

also appreciation for the slowing music, i didnt really register at first but thats definitely bc of the weird time happenings. and then the crank and it speeds up? super cool!

this series is so fun!!!

im a bit worried that jedidiahs 'extra special clock' may have something to do with his project? especially considering he has a lot of clocks around his office

more hungy, i think that bc he was hungy but didnt really realize it bc time weirdness, it seeped into his dreams somehow?

appreciation for sydney being able to eat garlic bread

also interesting thing, idk if its relevant in universe or just a writing thing, but no matter what happens with time it seems to always be resolved for sydney to know when 25:25 is.

oh fuck the canibalism is back

icky

i do not want

nope nope nope its getting worse

sorry im blood squeemish

more elephant man lore

kinda spooky. maybe his powers rely on electricity? or theres some greater creature hes afraid of that haas that effect

appreciation for the ending music of ep 16, and also just all the music in that ep.

hive? (the apothiosis is upon us?)

also really different music for the intro. idk if its like a genre or something related to hives, but its style really reminded me of queen b from nightmare time.

i want a waterslide to nowhere

i dont want a bri'ish man talkin bout 'beans on the cob' to be responsible for my safety, like, ever.

more sydney lore! poor bb sounds like he needs a hug. particularly from one Jedidiah A.A. Martin

i love the corporate bg music during harmlessmart its such a nice touch.

matthew matthew matthew matthew

fresh honeycomb sky.. hive theming?

this is exactly the shenanigans that middles schoolers get upto when theyre realeased into the woods

" So it has been, and so it will be; eternal in all directions in time." idk i just like this quote,

more ants

sports crystals = pokey?

bee tsunami

so he is co-nurse... when does jedidiah ever do his job? where is he?

noo sydney not the corner bread

comunicate!!! please!!!

"but he must love me, right?" :(((((((((((((((((

" — my journals." of course jedidiah only cares when it relates to his project. so quincycore, but if quincy didnt care about his bf.

D:

idk if i should keep watching this tonight. on one hand, if i keep watching i might cry bc sad, but if i stop i will definitely cry.

"He would always be the father, and I would always be the mother" (blitzstonecore)

"How he could love something so much… and forget to feed it." (he loves sydney, he just forgets to take care of him. in the way sydney needs, instead of the way jedidiah thinks he needs.)

a grey sky

reading wikis again, and the warriors thing is just such a mood, and idk if the creators understand dnd stats properly, or if he jus sucks that much at living, but negative stats are not possible. like players usually cant get below a 3. and -4 means he has like -7 con, so he has 1 hit points at first level, which is really pathetic. yes im going to nerd about this. (i think its super funny bc, like sure w a 19 for wisdom he probably wouldnt fail wis saves, but on the off chance that he did, viscious mockery, a bard cantrip, will knock him out no matter what, and if it rolls i think a 3 or 4 it completely kills him. he could be killed by a single insult.)

(ive been informed that this will make more sense once i finish it, and now im v scared)

(also prolly shouldnt be reading the wiki rn bc spoilers, but im doin it anyway.)

again, the stats are SO EXTREME. not as bad as sydney. he could feasibly weild a weapon (strenghth or dex if finesse i think) he has reasonable con which is good bc wizards have absolutely no health. idk whats up with his wisdom (ive heard it described as 'street smarts' and int as 'book smarts' but i think it kinda goes hand in hand with rizz for interactions, bc its used for like insight, which is kinda important to talk to people.) (thats actually something id say maybe doesnt work well with sydneys high wis. so far it seems like, while he is quite observant, hes not always super great at reading the room, or at least thats what ive gathered)

also idk about the charisma bc so far jedidiah seems a bit more put together in the persuasion/deception/intimidation area of things.

might eep now. that means its a great time for you to drink some water.

do it. stay hydrated. it mustve taken a ton of mental energy to get through this post, so you should take a break. get a glass of water, get a snack, take care of yourself. (sleep if its past midnight or if your name is rowan) then you can come back and finish reading this shitshow :]

ok its morning time to finish this (maybe)

restarted ep 16 bc i forgor

omg wait sydneys usin am and theres static

i love that theres a credit card stealing fish.

no sydney youre doing it again what did salem say

relation to sydneys worms?

"If he didn’t value these creatures when they were alive, why was he so affected by their deaths?" STOP NO IM ALREADY SAD I GET IT

and thats why sydney wont kill the centipede?

w h a t

spooky music

is the hive conected to the elephant man?

excuse me did he just call worms many legged creatures (ig like worms as in maggots and caterpillars and silkworms, not earthworms)

i love that theres always some counselors that dont get to participate in the camp meetings

sydneys impression of jedidiahs voice is so silly

"But I like endings; I like closure. That was the point of this whole exercise." more with sydney being more ok with death perhaps?

“Ha. Abandoning your child in a lake . . . . so that’s what motherhood means for you?” NO NO NO NO NO :(((

"But I am not my mother." so this is why hes so protective of the kids?

rowan hero?

this feels less like a hive and more like an egg

rowan hero!

bad smoke, different smoke?

hive queen

ye i was right, it egg

so they WERE gay at some point???

interesting that jedidiah doesnt mention the elephant man breaking into his office

he frames it as 'im worried about sydney' even though hes been ignoring sydneys concern until it affected himself

ye ye lucille gets it he only cares about himself and his project

hes emotionally attatched to sydney, but he doesnt take care of him, because he doesnt understand what it means to not be taken care of

sydney taught himself how to love, and he makes a conscious effort to try his best, but he prioritizes the kids because he doesnt want to be like his mom

ye ye lucille call out the lil guy

lucille has the same thoughts about the elephant man as jedidiah did before he tried to take the journals

noticed the clock ticking

ohh so spooky bad stuff in the journals?

jedidiahs trying to keep sydney safe, reminds me of the "it was cozy and safe, like a prison" thing

also lucille bein his mom explains why sydney and jedidiah are close?

jedidiah doesnt like death, maybe hes afraid of it. because its closure, like sydney said. bc he doesnt know how to care about something while its alive, so he settles for greiving when its gone.

also the ending 'do not anger it" is a repeat i think?

o no more tree stuff?

am again and static

at least today the vegans get somethig they can maybe eat?

so he is the assisstant nurse? confusion

buddy are you sure thats not a corpse

assuming the things jedidiahs getting shipped in are related to his project, hes making progress?

again with him prioritizes his project above sydney

also minor thing about the lunch b i feel like hes kinda underestimating sydneys intelligence (of course judging by the dnd stats its barely above average) and thats also v quincy of him

also i think he forgot to say the time, but theres static for dinner, prolly bc pm

interesting i dont remember when sydney switched. was it always like that? 19:04 PM implies a 19:04 AM, and thats a lotta hours

sydney appreciating nature

do you even like goo arts? arent you allergic to goo

ok really interesting that they bring this up bc sydney was just talking about how he and jedidiah had a bag of acorns that they took home? and they were fine

plant spooky

related to project?

:(

time static

:((((

his lil eep is v cute

not even chess. bro why do you even check on him if youre too tired to play chess

clock tic

physically safe.

D:

sad gay

more clocks tic

no you cant end the ep like that

sydneys still gone :(((((

juniper no one likes you dont laugh at your own jokes

oh but rowan honey is getting juniper to his job worth putting up with his horrible voice and personality

its extremely ironic that jedidiah is responsible for mediating counselor arguements when he doesnt comunicate with his own husband

"how do I explain to you that you need to care about other people?" DONT SAY THAt... it makes me sad...

"I worry about you sometimes, though, y’know?" heres a concrete difference between juniper and jedidiah: juniper actually makes the effort to care about rowans worry, even if he cant empathize with it. honestly i think this episode is included to show jedidiah through a different light, bc so far it seems like him and juniper are very similar.

they both rarely do their actual work, and have someone they care about who has a (maybe) irrational fear of something they cant understand

"You keep saying all this nice shit to him like it means anything and then consistently letting him down with your behavior." showing jedidiah recognises these traits in other people but not himself.

"Your actions are what matter to the people around you, not your words or your intentions or your thoughts or your fucking anything else but your actions, and your actions show Sydney loud and clear that you don’t give a shit about him." aaand he let it slip. he knows hes doing the same, maybe? some part of him gets that.

hopefully after this there will actualy be some kind of positive change?

not sure if this is important, as i havent been reading the other log thingies, but under minor insight into it repeats a bullet point

theory: the elephant man took sydney???

"I promise you kids I will attend dutifully to the nurse’s office in Sydney’s absence. Or, I’ll make sure someone is, at least." more jedidiah avoiding his actual job, similar to juniper

again sydney prioritizes knowledge above all else, maybe a similarity to jedidiah

"One by one, we all stay alive…" cant remember if this was like an endy thing but it sounds familiar.. either way super spooky

yvonne dyslexic not clickbait?

"Of course I can, it’s — plain English." ok interesting def a thing about either yvonne or jedidiah, bc like they dont see the notes the same???

"I wanted her to get angry. I wanted a fight. I wanted consequences. I… I wanted… it to matter." he wants closure. he wants people to care about him

"She was kind then. So was Jedidiah." :(

:(((((((((((((

"really hard to believe that he would just — get up and leave." jedidiahs frustrated by the thought that sydney might not care about him like he thought?

another mention of religion. yvonne also mentioned praying in the last ep, and a while ago sydney talked about jedidiah being a 'good christian boy' or something like that

nvm that was the beginning of the last ep

im very good at life as you can tell

sorry back to 22

this is so strange

nother mention of religion

"My heartbeat has synced up with the ceaseless ticking… " reminds me of a comment i saw relating jedidiahs clocks to his heartbeat? idk i dont remember

this is... really disturbing. i dont know why

"holy day". interesting

this feels manipulative

no no elephant man if you turn sydney against jedidiah i will be very angy

wait isnt this like cult tactics, like asking someone to meet up in a low stakes setting, love bombing, asking them to do something to prove their loyalty. (i vaguely remember this from some yt video i watched about cats)

"Show you a love you have never known." hes preying on sydneys desire to be wanted, to be cared about

this is so unsettling my god.

" Jedidiah’s search party " means lucille aproved it?

"I mean, y’know, live like you’re dying, right? " (exexprincecore)

"What do you mean “that’s one way to put it”? Yvonne, these are blank papers!" enchanted papers?????????

ok sydney dont lie to them'

"Um. Okay. Listen. Sydney… I don’t want to lose you." but he doesnt really care, still

:(

clock ticking

"the tree finds human happiness nauseating." huh.

D:

"violent criminal history in the state of arkansas" thats all i could catch from the news thingy at the start, for some reason its not on the ep transcripts :(,,, but didnt elijah say hes from arkansas??? is that anything?

theres still static with the time

theyre dead?? like straight up?? all of cabin widow spider?

oh ok theyre not fully dead

as, like, the only sane person who cares about the elephant man, i wonder what marisols reaction is?

sports field? what about the musically inclined crystals?

hhehehe forgot that soren sounds like a cartoon villain

he nya like cat

...does the project have some relation to necromancy????????

tap tap tap tap tap tap

so crackers and butter cookies count as bread???

" but without death, it will never live." (to show ya the horror of stayin alive) (sorry sorry sorry sorry)

"Not because we want to, but because we must." ^^^^

wait wait wait i think i remember the one by one thing. but it was "one by one we all survive" and then "one by one we all stay alive" or something lik e that, so its interesting that it changed.

"but I can’t believe any amount of money would convince her to completely ignore the safety of the kids." again thingy with prioritizing the kids

"Seems this strain of mold just turns us into zombies, like… interpersonally?" mood

hahahaha juniper already is like that so the mold didnt have any effect

hun he is definitely deliberately manipulating yp

ok so idk about any of endy bits so far but it keeps bringing up not angering it and they "youve angered it" and im guessing if anything it has something to do with elijah??? or the project?? maybe both idk

"It’s like you don’t even care about the kids here anymore." huh

and it all comes back to control.

"Jedidiah… [Sigh] this mediation session isn’t for you and me." they need to go to couples therapy

" [Whisper] I miss you. .... I’m such a fucking idiot. " :((((

can the gays just be happy? just for a little bit? can elijah go away? can everyone please for the love of god or whatever just be happy for one goddamed moment?

no am, still static

i dont think thats a river

also, 'rapids'? he said like a moment before it was still, which kinda means its just more lake, and the land partially seperating it is an island

"they’re hungry for a sense of intellectual superiority." i love that the creatures in and around camp are half spooky half completely mundane

ye for once i think junipers right its more like a moat

"For today’s breakfast we have an eel’s head stuck upon a 500-year-old sword and slathered with pea mush — a hometown delicacy suggested by Juniper. He says they call it “scrumpledydumps!”" (ugh. british people.)

hc sydneys proficient in animal handling

... he feels like a curse and not in control of his life :(

forgot about the macaronis

uhh wouldnt a bridge make the hunt like destroy cam

(the horse? the divorce? /ref)

"I can’t figure out what this poor fox eats." is this a reference to the fly thing? showing contrast bc sydney actually thinks to take care of it?

still no am or pm but theres static

:((((((((((((((((((

please let them be happy? (this is why i stil havent finished yellow jacket. i simply cannot handle characters being sad or the undeniable feeling that something terrible is going to happen)

"the tree also finds human fear nauseating." huh.

clocks. are we finally gonna learn more about the project/??

no more river

beeping

what the actual f u c k is going on

id let matthew poison me with arsenic

holy fucking shit

i love that sydney raises his voice when he does an imression of joshua

"You know, when I was a kid, a large portion of my daily diet consisted of complimentary condiment packets from the school cafeteria."...sydney are you okay?/?????

at this point the static is kind of comforting. the only thing consistent at camp other than sydneys trauma

more beeping

huh??? i swear hamsters have been mentioned before

ye ye ye

how does sydney know what hamsters eyes look like if theyve been extinct for millions of years????

" 2:01 AM" WHOA thats new.... is it bc of maintenence? perhaps?

still static

oh fuck no i forgor about the journals

more clocks

FUCK

(extra thing this kinda reminds me of holloweane a bit just bc of the like not being able to give info, of course ms holloway does WANT to, and does try to tell duke, but anyway)

(and now i gotta go do stuff. why did i agree to do stuff after that episode. damn. anyway. this is your reminder to take a break from my ramblings. get some water, stretch, focus your eyes on something that isnt a screen. and of course, if your name is rowan, you should sleep probably)

hi im back

birds. huh.

and a clock tickin, but it stopped before the click.

apple=jedidiah?

what about the second hand???

clocks have knowledge. sydney wants it.

this musics quite the jam

is petrfified wings a thing? it feels farmiliar

" 25-26-100 hour days." hwhat the hell

he wants to be a clock? he wants to be flexible?

is this the extra special clock that fucked up time in that one episode?

wheat feild? related to the death fields? i think sydney mentioned someones wheat allergy in that ep

this is v strange

something.. something train related happened to his dad?

is.. is the next event sydneys death? jedidiahs death?

thats why he doesnt like it? why hes scared of death?

knowledge. thats what they both seek.

FUCK NO elijah go away i dont like you >:(

of course, elijahs using him to get information. also HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW ALL THIS (sydney please get away from that creepy stalker)

"hot tea with honey is good for sore throats." (goddamit emma now i gotta make a tea with honey /rref)

the weird audio thing in the background right after the episode title reminds me of my printer.

poor campers, no salt. nothing better happen to matthew >:(

at least sydney stopped spreading propoganda about the elephant man

oh also hes back to saying the time, am and pm, and our dear friend static

fuck

thats a lot of blood

w h a t

static please help me

what do they have against france

" it’s so funny to watch the fumes struggle to conjure anything worse than what I’ve actually been through." >:0

"[HE BUTCHERES THE PRONUNCIATION]" me too buddy, me too

did...did sydney get a clock?

o no are the penguins gonna come back

sydney are you okay???

all of this better be on the soundtrack

[HE BEGINS TO HYPERVENTILATE AND CRY.] (mee too budy, me too)

" Are you ready? Why did you lie?" w h a t

ok ok ok im definitely gonna finish this today bc if i dont ill stay up thinking about it anyway

more god, sin and death stuff. also mention of adam, possible relation to up and adam? (intro bit still sounds like a hyperventilating printer)

(this is so long i wonder if anyones actually made it this far. wait atcually the fandoms small so prolly.) (i bet rowans reading this. i bet hes not actually sleeping like i told him to, twice.)

NO ELIJAHS BACK (idk if anyone else is here but i am a member of the elijah hate club)

brought up the ceremony thing again. (still seems kinda cultish)

quiet beeps

louder beeps

this "stupid man" sounds a bit like jedidiah...

"He did not understand how to feed it" again the starving thing

or, is it elijah? idk im confused

also wtf is goin on w the accent

:(

so muse is definitely sydney, prophet is elijah, so yeah i think the architect is jedidiah

"I will be the one to crystalize the truth of your perfection" (uh oh is he gonna pull an ambrose)

kinda sounds like hes gonna set sydney on fire

FUCK SYDNEY YOU BETTER TELL JEDIDIAH (pls just make them be okay)

"…I’m going to start sleeping in the room with Jedidiah again." ok ok thats progress good.. maybe hes not so distrusting of jedidiah anymore??? at least hopefully itll help w his pain

silence.

(reading comments) i saw some ppl saying sydney died and got revived and that makes sense considerign the story but also WHAT THE FUCK

reason jedidiah wont tell him about the project? or why hes so intent on keeping him physically safe? (how much does he know about elijah, bc elijah seems to know a lot about him)

another mention of god in the news before the title

no more printer sounds? maybe i just wasnt payin attention

"Hey, what’s this co-nurse stuff? Aren’t you Sydney’s assistant?" joshua out here askin the real questions

idk whats goin on but somethng seems really off

clock

:(

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. that is no way to end an episode. again, this is why i cant finish yellow jacket. i do not like the sad.

idk if its just me but elijah sounded a bit different.

shit this is already episode 31.

trees

also um fuck what the hell is that title. the pyre??? sydneys just gonna go with it?! dude hes gonna set you on fire !!!

also side note taking a moment to appreciate the pacing of the series so far, the whole time its felt like just the right amount is happening, it never feels too rushed or boring. also the attention to detail and callbacks and references are amazing

oh fuck he mentioned the penguins. that means jedidiah will knwo he was looking for the journals

wow it s been a while since he talked about the sun or the moon, kinda nice to hear about the sky again. of course now im remembering jedidiah talking abotu the stars and im sad again.

the moon was in the sky all day? is that normal?

oh. she wants control. like how sydney talked to elijah. to prove he has control. to make a choice.

"was that being fed is not always the same as being nourished." back to the starving thing.

the clock is back

he misses jedidiah :(

still dont know whats goin on with the centipede

"I need to prove I’m worth something to you" (ambrosecore)

"My body is whole. My body is eaten.' spooky.

they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy

:(

32!

glitchy walky talkies? i think thats that kind of beep. something something something RADIATOR? idk as someone whos bad at listening, i kinda wish they put the beginning bits in the transcript, but i guess thats bc mysteries???

static is back. aw, the moon has returned to her duty.

"Ahhhhh, to overthrow nature…" reminds me of the natural order thing joshua said during the camp revolt thing

also i was so right about elijah's culty stuff

communication? are they gonna be happy, maybe, at some point???

...i may have read spoilers in the wiki that they get together in 34, so i hope that means theyll be happy.

fuck fuck fuck fuck noo no non on no no elijah stay away

"Am I alone… ? " D:

glad he has a gun. that definitely cant backfire in any possible way...

fuck fuck fuck why is cabin dungbeetle like thhis

sound design is still so fuckin sick

jedidiah describing sydney: he's, uh, fuck, idk hes hot?

hes so pathetic /affectionate

OH FUCK ELIJAH KIDNAPPED HIM!!! TONIES WHY DIDNT YOU START WITH THAT WHAT THE HELL

no no no you can t end on cliffhangers like that (i say as if im not gonna watch the next one in like a minute) (i could never watch shows or podcasts as they come out i would actually die from the cliffhangers)

oh wait its not the end of the ep.

again sound design is immaculate

if sydney dies at the end of this series so will i, just putting that out there. (oh same with jedidiah)

YO OMG HES SO SMART i forgot about the reflection thing. what did he steal?? idk he took something that was like 'the only way i could seee my reflection' or something.. that makes so much sense.

by the way imma be at least a bit upset if we dont get any more rowan content before the end of the series.

(last ep)

FUCK you elijah i hope you BURN in HELL (sorry to any non elijah-haters, but also, not sorry bc hes bad)

"every day is a living fucking nightmare!" i mean this is just a thing thats said and not, like, unique to the show, but jedidiah does say something similar earlier on i think

the whole love vs want think kinda reminds me of linda, and like wiley bein like 'you dont want to be loved you want to be adored' (of course thats more framed as a villain thing so..)

FUCK WAIT THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???!!!!

"She keeps him like a prison." callback to the prison thing? the ''it felt comfy and safe, like a prison" i think it was something like that

so elijah is connected to the clocks somehow??

FUCK FUCK FUCK I FORGOT HE HAS THE JOURNAL

NO NO NO WHATS HE GOING TO DO

salamander man=elijah?

thats when he died???

second journal entry reminds me of, this is weird, but like dnd memes? and how magic kinda comes naturally to classes like sorcerers and bards, but wizards learn through study?

also im very confused by why the journal entries are so important, and why elijahs voice keeps changing. its really unsettling

so jedidiah was looking into magic to heal him?

"You turn it off and back on again." holy fuck

oh my god so thats why necromancy is such a reaccuring thing? and them being like , dw real necromancy isnt popular

the clock is also an interesting thing, idk what it means tho

aww the statics back :)

why is lucille like this

whats her goal in any of it

"This information… resists being known." (ms holloway vibes)

his, dad, died from that??

" Because I’m nothing without you, Sydney, I really am." (quincent vibes)

i find this switch really interesting bc up untill this moment sydneys always been the one, kind of, like, comfortable with death? and it makes sense now, i guess, because jedidiah was afraid of it, afraid that sydney might find out, and hed get hurt again

"But there’s something kind of sexy about that, though, right?" (a real stroke of luck, when the one man you can murder is one of the men you--- /ref) (sorrry sorry sorry this is a serious conversation ill try to be more normal)

awww gay (now for the happy? maybe? can they please be happy?) (sorry i said id be normal.. ill do that now < ---lying)

"Uhmm… [Sniff] hey, I, uh, haven’t seen you drink water, yet. I don’t think you’ve been drinking water — here. Drink. " (this is a reminder to all my friends who dont hydrate enough. do it. or you'll end up like sydney, nearly burned on a pyre by a weird russian guy in an elephant mask)

the gays? on their way to being happy? even just for a bit? not clickbait? (dw i know elijahs gonna come back and fuck everyone over in a lil bit. just let me have my moment)

"Also, he’s gone. For good." dude dont fucking jinx it!

"Seems the two of ‘em have gotten quite cozy. " (thats kinda gay dude)

i was so confused then i remembered that it was 20 dimentional chess

still kinda confused about the mirror thing

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK THATS THE END

NO NO NO NO NO NO

e32uojkbwqlrhugejbkqfdshoihuqjbkefrbejwkghioujeklfnwmdlskjaipuojlknm, gnwklejfponrdsjlaiojfwejb

im sad now D:

anyway, i am sincerely sorry that you had to read this hot mess. uh, rowan, if youre still here. go to sleep.

ok now im gonna go read fanfic and hope it can heal me from this emotional rollercoaster.

bye <3

[i-know-a-place-we-could-go]

Do u think u could share tips on how to recover from an ED if ur comfortable with it ? I’m struggling a lot recently even tho I thought I was doing better

absoutely!!! i think this will just be me rambling because i dont actually know how ot explain recovery skdhskdha if thats cool? if you need anything, you can dm me too

putting this under a cut just in case!!

first, find a reason to recover. my reason is the having an ED is fucking terrifying and hurts me so much, as well as everyone around me. i realized this when i told my girlfriend about it and she looked at me so, so scared, and when i started passing out every week.

a recovery motivation for me is comparison photos. not bodychecks, because they won't help, but photos of my face from before my ED and during the worst of it. I hated how i looked before, but i hate how i look at my worst even more. I look dead and scary. Everyone was worried for me and I was so, so fucking mean, and all of that made me wanna recover.

tips uhm uhmm start slow. i added snacks to my day before i gradually increased the number of meals i was having too. have someone by your side to encourage recovery and help you on the bad days. stop checking calories and everything, stop weighing yourself. for me, i decided to weigh myself every other day then once a week and now i only do it about twice a month at my mother's request.

you are going to put on weight, and thats okay. its what your body needs. start with just eating which is the hardest part. get three meals in a day, two snacks, or as your body needs. listen to what it wants. then you can start focusing on a balanced array of meals with proper protein, carbs, sugars, nutrients, etc etc. its a pretty dull area, balancing everything out, and i honestly didnt pay much attention to it because i just focused on what i was craving (which surprise, was a lot of sugars and fruits) and that helped me a lot. then comes fear foods! scary as shit but its literally just food. you are going to have it and you are gonna be okay, nothing will happen to you. i sometimes record myself during those meals so i can remind myself that i did it later on and that nothing happened to me after.

its also okay to cry about it. for a solid month i made myself dinner every single night and i cried while doing it and i cried while having it. honestly 10/10 cry it was good. watching shows or youtube while having meals helped me too as a distraction and its also just fun. find a comfort show or yotuube channel or something and youll be okay. youll feel so much more energized and happier when you start.

DRINK WATER DRINK SO MUCH WATER AND HAVE SALT!!!! so important for ur energy and not fainting.

recovery isnt linear. theres gonna be days where you mess up some places and thats okay. maybe youll relapse fully and thats okay, you can and will get back into recovery. its not easy, but its worth it, and it gets easier every single day. idk if this was helpful at all, i hope it was, if you need anything dm me <3 good luck soldier

[max--phillips]

With all this food discourse happening I’d like to remind everyone that Indiana’s state pie is the Sugar Cream Pie and even people WHO LIVE IN INDIANA don’t know what it is and I think that’s hilarious as hell. Anyway, here’s a poll.

(Chess pie is not the same, it has butter, eggs, & an acid in it, plus you guys have the wherewithal to put vanilla and other flavorings in it. Sugar cream pie is literally that: sugar, milk, heavy cream depending on the recipe, a little bit of flour for thickening. THATS IT. No salt, no vanilla, no cinnamon, nothing. It’s BORING AS SHIT but it is SO FUCKING GOOD)

Recipe under the cut if you’d like to try making this in your own home! (And its MY recipe, not the boring official one that tastes like sugary milk. You will have vanilla & cinnamon & nutmeg. But leave those out for the Real Hoosier Experience™️)

Ingredience:

One pie crust, or enough pie crust dough for one shell (if you’re a masochist, feel free to make your own! But I will not shame you if you just buy frozen shells from the grocery store.)

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup AP flour (preferably unbleached, but whatever you have will work)

1 cup half-and-half*

1 cup heavy cream*

A pinch of salt

1 tsp vanilla extract (do yourself a favor and get the real stuff, not the imitation garbage. trust me.)

2 tsp (or whatever your soul tells you) ground cinnamon

1 tsp nutmeg for in the filling, some more to dust the top (another Pro Tip from Ya Boy: get whole nutmeg and a zester or spice grinder. Fresh nutmeg is MUCH better than the pre-ground stuff.)

*Here's a hot tip with this: half and half is half heavy cream, half milk. So, you can use 1.5 cups heavy cream and a half cup of milk (I Am Begging You To Use Whole Milk)

Now, here's what you do WITH all of those Ingredients™️

Step 1: Blind bake your pie crust based on the instructions on the package, or the instructions for your favorite recipe. Chances are you'll prick the bottom of the pie crust a whole bunch, then if this is fresh/homemade dough you'll chill it for about a half an hour. You'll probably preheat your oven to 375°F, line your pie crust with a sheet of parchment paper (or foil if you're in a pinch, but do NOT use wax paper), then fill the crust with pie weights, dried beans, or uncooked rice you do not intend to cook. You'll bake it until the crust starts to get brown around the edges, probably about 15 minutes. Once that's GBD, take it out of the oven, put it on a rack, and remove the parchment paper and weights.

Step 2: the filling! In a bowl (hot tip: get a bowl bigger than you think you'll need. You always need a bigger bowl) you want to combine the flour, sugar, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg first, then add in the half-and-half, cream, and vanilla. Once that's combined and nice n smooth, pour that bad boy right into your pie crust.

Step 3: Cook the thing! Yeah, already. Bake it in that same 375°F oven until the filling is juuuuuuust set, but still jiggles when you tap it on the side. This will probably take about 1 hour and 30 minutes, but keep an eye on things! Take it out and put it on a cooling rack. I personally recommend sprinkling some more nutmeg on top while it's still a little bit jiggly and hot so it'll stick, but you can also wait until it's cool and sprinkle it on right before you eat it. Or you can skip the nutmeg entirely, it’s up to you, I’m not the nutmeg cops.

Let that cool completely before you cut into it, then enjoy! I recommend keeping it in the fridge, but while you're cooling it, leave it on the counter or the filling'II get weird. You don't want it to cool TOO fast.

[milkolya]

i feel like oversharing on this fine friday morning abt whats going on in my life. if you read this, thank you 💖 i know we tumblr gays are all going Through It at any given moment, and the solidarity has always helped me cope

(TW suicide) (with details)

last week my grandfather on my mothers side killed himself by jumping out the 12th story window of their apartment building in russia. he'd been fighting esophageal cancer for approximately 4 years. he was 70 years old. he definitely had some issues, some trauma or mental health struggles, you know, SOMETHING, that led him to excessive drinking and smoking for the vast majority of his life. like, he wouldnt have had cancer if he actually took care of himself you know? its his vices / coping mechanisms that caused it. and once he started getting treated, he didnt have it in him to change his lifestyle to make the treatments worth anything.... he continued on drinking and smoking and eating sugar by the spoon (another cause of the cancer is poor diet) and even insisted that he would die if he gave up any of those things. id get in trouble if i used the "alcoholic" word around my family but they were watering down his wine behind his back when my parents visited in 2021. like come on. and even at 70, he still outlived all of his siblings, all of which died from alcoholism related causes afaik. he just... he was clearly suffering, and in classic russian fashion, he kept everything bottled up forever, never made any effort to get better, and one day when sitting down to do his bills he decided you know what, i dont want to do this anymore.

thats what happens when you dont address problems!!!!

obviously its heartbreaking but its also incredibly frustrating for me. i was super suicidal as a teenager and my mother did NOT take it seriously, she told me that it was "normal" and everyone experiences it (including her). now in retrospect i understand that she was trying to help me and comfort me, that that thought must have helped her, but like. its not normal... and its pretty fucked up that ive been suicidal, my mother has been suicidal, and now my grandpa (her dad) killed himself. he fucking killed himself!!!! what the fuck!! and i continue to be the ONLY PERSON in my ENTIRE FAMILY who tries to seek help through medication and therapy and just like, at least fucking acknowledge that we have hereditary fucking issues in the form of trauma and mental illness.... its just a mess.

and of course my mother and grandmothers top concern is What If Hes Not In Heaven. cause suicide is a sin. cause thats what we should be focused on ?!?!? sigkapfilwkflamcnwgkqj . it makes me want to scream.

ive just been surrounded by suicide my whole goddamn life and i wish it would end. my close friend attempted when i was 15 and i had no fucking clue what to do. multiple others i was close to at school were struggling with similar thoughts and urges, including myself. we were all desperately trying to hold eachother together, you know? far too much to handle for a bunch of kids. and then i went to uni, and my new friends there had similar issues, and in 2nd year, one of them did kill themself. they took their fathers gun and they shot themself in the head. and did my mother help me feel better? only until i mentioned suicide. once that was out there, there was ZERO sympathy, just judgement, and dismissal of their struggles. which really, really hurt me. because they were trans, and they couldnt handle how harsh this world is towards us, and obviously i really related to that sentiment.

like, i understand my grandpa too. i dont... i dont blame him personally? i dont even really blame my mother personally, when it comes to these kinds of issues. sometimes i will get mad at her about specific interactions but at the end of the day its russian society that made both of them this way. its so deeply ingrained. i just wish i could have helped my grandpa and i wish i could help my mama now but i cant. i can barely help myself.

and ive had to take time off work because i cant fucking focus and i just keep crying all the time and my brain is a foggy mess. and i dont know how to keep going. when will i feel better? i need to get back to work. will i be able to do that??

when my friend died... well, i call them my friend, but we were not close or anything. they were one of my good friend's roommates. we did talk occasionally and were on friendly terms. it just feels wrong to say "acquaintance" or something like that. i didnt process their death in a very timely manner. its weird but common, i think. about 2 years after it happened i started getting triggered by any content with suicide by gun. surprisingly common in media lol. folks love to hold a gun to their head on tv!! (side note: first movie i ever watched with my now fiancee, it was get out and when the guy shoots himself suddenly at the end i had a full blown fucking meltdown lmaooooooo so embarrassing it was like our 3rd date and the night of our first kiss)

idk why it took 2 years for that to start happening, i guess that was just my processing time. and then it took another two years or so to sort that out in therapy and im finally okay again and i can watch stuff with guns and suicide and not freak out. but now im scared of how this thing with my grandpa is going to affect me and how long thats going to last. i just want some peace and quiet :(

if u read all that, thank u. maybe give this a like to let me know. ive been deleting my vent posts a lot lately so idk if i will keep this up. my friends have been lovely and supportive, theres just not much anyone can really say to make it better. so it feels more comfortable to do a massive vent post like this thats optional to engage with. and ive always aired out my personal business on here so it feels right hehe.

[usermaha]

CB Thoughts

This album is if Eternally was an entire album.

The actual shock to my system that was Devil By The Window??? the jaw was on the floor the whole runtime i kid you not

i dont know the lyrics?? Its All English from the sound of it?? All i can hear is Soobin and Soobin sounds angelic

This album is very tied to the narrative or theme. Which makes me really happy bc i was kinda expecting to get robbed out of the storytelling teased by the promo stuff.

I was jumping up and down in glee when i heard the intro to Sugar Rush Ride DARLING IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU SINCE DECEMBER

You know every txt cb has a part in the melody/production thats so good its almost pure coke and they build the entire song around it and its kinda repetitive but you dont complain bc its so good you cant get enough of it?

WAIT the vibes of CYSM’s thing (you know what i mean) and SRR’s intro are quite comparable

Up until the prechorus she is tons of fun and there are so many good vocal moments i dont know who’s who yet bc its happening too fast

But the chorus is a little short of a disaster to me the puncture of the energy to the empty chorus??? you mean to tell me i dislike a txt chorus what is happening??? Its gonna take me a while before i get around this song, even if i actually do. Which as a moa is a real shame.

Im really really excited to see the whole choreography

Okay all of this is very sexy. The narrative is “being tempted by the devil into a psychedelic bliss that is actually a hoax/dangerous but its irresistible”. I suppose that angle was always present in the concept but i didnt expect it to be played this upfront.

Sigh i should have known when YJ was shirtless. Everyone said Angry Soobin from GBGB was a shock SLUTTY SOOBIN??? Did i even type that phrase?? Txt is constantly challenging their concept and image and this is the more jarring one yet. They would’ve done an edgy concept that was a given but i legit never couldve imagined them this way.

i shall not speak any more of this, and i am respectfully looking away.

Yeonjun’s “What did you do to me, sugar” 😵 i still havent figured out my favorite line but this might be it

Happy Fools has a Balance Game energy. And i do not like Balance Game so. ://

and the feature really took me out otteokhe

Tinnitus is kinda fun kinda groovy… and also very sexy

Farewell Neverland gave me Lonely Boy. And Lonely Boy is one of my favorite songs from txt so this one will definitely be a at the top of this album

MY PETER PAN-

This pretty neatly fits my theory that they are visiting Magic Island (Neverland in this context) for a final time for closure.

Throughout txt’s discography there is this headstrong argument supporting escapism, that’s what the concept of Magic Island is about. “Run away with me.” And at this point the illusion of escapism finally crashes. We must go back home.

Honestly heartbreaking you can hear the bittersweetness in their voices

But i was expecting the Cat to eat them or something none of the action in the middle :(

When i heard Minisode 2 for the first time my gripe was that its not doing much in terms of interesting or unique. But here its’ inverted; this album experiments and pushes the envelope, and im happy for that, but for me it doesnt stick the landing

but again the album might grow on me as i slowly get around each song. It has happened before with txt songs. But this is how it stands right now.

Member-specific points:

Soobin era. From Devil By The Window ive called it. His falsettos are in full form here and i love to see it

It feels like Yeonjun’s existence as an idol was destined for a moment like this. He unhinges his jaw and never retracts it back. HIS VOCALS TAKE ME OUT every cb day dont sleep on YJ’s vocals please this has been a PSA

Beomgyu’s vocals in Farewell Neverland he is such. an emotional singer he sings with so much heartbreak in his voice

Fuck Taehyun honestly he sounds better and better every cb and for what. For me to bias him harder??? Fuck him.

Huening Kai plays the sexy so right its almost wrong he is such a fantastic idol and performer he is a chameleon he carries any and every concept with such ease he has it all truly

[tempororor]

I don't know what to do I don't know how to win her back.

They're slipping through my fingers and all I can do is watch. I can't communicate i can't figure out how to save it all and it's all my own fault.

I can't just wait for it to get better the magic 8 said it's destined to fail. I don't want it to fail I want it with me I need it with me I love her I love her I love her she's so good for me but I'm the problem I'm fucking it all up I'm RUINING everything how do I fix it how do I tell her I'm sorry how do I tell the best thing that's ever happened to me that I'm stuck. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I'm coasting. I'm in auto piolet.

I'm here. We're all here. I look my beloved in the eyes and say something I would never say. I pretend to be someone I'm not. I pretend I'm someone else infront of the only person I could ever be myself infront of.

She was my everything and she LEFT ME SHE FUCKING LEFT ME. how to win her back?? I don't know!! Kill?? I want To KILL HIM I WANT LEWIS DEAD I WANT DÈTRE DEAD U HATE THEM I HATE THEM THEY STOLE EVERYRHING FROM ME.

And what can I do!!! Nothin!!!!!!! I just get to sit and watch!! I can't do nothing to win her back! Win my sugar back. Get her to love me like I love her! I try to he happy, I try and try but it kill me to just sit and watch! I want to be there. Hold her hand. My doll deserves so much love and all I do? Nothin!!! I watch! I kick and scream to get her but it's like no one hears me no more! I want to throw myself on her I want to smother her in my love I want to hold her tight and NDVER LET GO I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I WANT TO DIE WHEN I AINT WITH JER I LOVE HER

But what's the point?? I wake up numb. I go to work numb. I'm so used to masking that I've lost all identity. I've never been enough and I finally snapped. I can't be anyone. I have 0 identity. I don't know my name. I want to puke when I'm called Serenity. Thats not me that died years ago. I can barely remember who I am anymore. When I get called Zac I feel like I'm waking up from a dream. A snap back to reality. Is that even who I am anymore? Am I dying also??

I want to keep her with us I want to keep her home. I want her to forever be mine I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know what I'm doing to make her run away why does she want to flee?? What is so unpleasant about this life she can't look at me and think I'm obsessed with her?

Because we're gone. We are empty. We are nothing. Does it mater we say "I love you:? No. It don't. Words mean nothing. Actions mean nothing unless consistent. One act mean nothing. And she sick of us. I say "I changed all diapers today" what she say? "Oh fuck you". They can't ever see us as nice or loving anymore. We angry, mean, unloving. She no see the best in us. Just the surface because that is the only thing we show. We are now shallow. We can't be ourselves without fear so we are no one. Empty.

But I don't want to be nothin!! I want to be her world! Her everything!! I want her to think I adore her every movement and thought! She is my god. My religion!! I worship her I can't live without my angel!! I eat breathe and sleep for her!!! I would die without her I'm dying I'm ACTUALLY DYING I NEED HER I NEED MY ANGEL

Then why doesn't ANYONE DO ANYGJING?? YOU WANT HER BACK THEN WIN HER

I Cant!! I can't I can't I vanf!! I'm so scared I'm terrified I'm afraid I'm so awful!! I want to I want to so bad!! I end every night so upset I didn't say ANYTJING!! I need her to know I love her i need her to know all the things I wish I did that day but I'm such a zombie!!

Even now. I'm just sitting here on my phone drunk and talking to you all. Instead of talking to her.

Then why you no say something! Even if scared fucking SAY SOMETHING GOD DAMMIT I can't I can't I can't. I'm so scared. I'm scared of saying too much I'm scared I won't say enough. I want her back in our world but I've been called selfish and self centered so many times that i feel like I'm choking any time I want to talk about it. Seriously Fobo had a fucking panic attack infeont of her because he almost talked about it. I'm so scared of making her hate us more. I'm so scared of saying the wrong thing and she leaves us. I'm even afraid to tell her that I want her to look at our art. I'm so scared of being selfish. I'm so scared of being a narcissist. I'm so scared she'll think I don't care about her because I talked about us. I just want her to know I'm focused on her. She's my world. Not you nasty fucks.

I wake up. No one. I go to work and I don't know what I'm supposed to be. I just try to be funny all day. I leave embarrassed. I come home and I don't know what I'm surprised to be. I be a mother. I don't know how to be a husband anymore. I don't know how to stop masking. I don't know how to be the full unmasked me anymore. She deserves to see the true me. The real me. I'm just so scared. I'm so empty. I'm so thoughtless. I'm nothing. I'm a husk. Even when I let Cosmo front my fears hold him back from pouncing on her. I know if he jumps on her she'll push him off. I know she'll get uncomfortable if Ivan says something teasingly. I know she'll be mad if Dètre pulls her hair. No more accents even in private. No more cuts or bruises because she doesn't want people thinking I'm hurting her. But she's upset I don't do anything anymore. I'm stuck I'm so scared I'm stuck I don't know what to do I don't know how to fix it I don't know how to win her back she drew someone else she drew him eating her again I've said it again and again and again that I think that's cheating it hurts me it hurts me so fucking back I can't lose her but I already did.

She doesn't need me anymore. She drew someone else eating her. Again. Again again again. I've said it SO many times it hurts. But what's the point. She moved on. She went back to him.

I wake up. I'm afraid. Somebody else might take my place. Repeat repeat repeat YouTube Spotify repeat recap it's everywhere. Magic 8 confirmed. I'm nothing. I'm so scared.

[thithesandofferings]

OP Sugar Mommies/Daddies Straw Hat Crew

Straw Hat Crew as Sugar Daddies(Mommies)-

::NSFW 18+ DNI : Luffy/Zoro/Sanji/Robin/Nami/Franky/Usopp

::Tags include: Petplay, teasing, zoro being mean, secce times. Hint of the word daddy, D/s Themes

::Authors Note: This is a reupload because the original post cannot be clicked on.

Part 2 here

Luffy-

-Whats mine is yours is his mantra.

-Will never not give you anything that you want.

-Doesnt really understand the concept of being a sugar daddy, nor does he have the concept of how much money he actually has.

He’s very confused, but if you give him plenty of food, hes happy.

Will give you his black card. Its yours now.

Not really one to initiate sex, but will fuck the shit out of you if you ask.

He just cant say no to those pleading eyes.

You dont even need to do anything to get money or sex from him.

He’s surprisingly very keen on the idea of breaking you.

Give him praise on how good he is at being a leader and you’ll be shown that incredibly stamina that hes famous for.

He’ll be greedy for it too. Not stopping until your begging him to stop.

But you asked for it didnt you? He’s just trying to take care of your needs.

Sanji-

Lingerie

Lingerie everywhere

He is so enamored by the way you look in lace and silk that he creates an entire lingerie company in your name.

Please dont tease him with walking around with his favorite work of art.

Will not hold back fucking you lovingly into the ground.

All that work he spent designing will be shredded and on the floor while he makes you scream his name.

Cannot believe you actually like him.

Cooks for you day and night. No matter how busy he is.

Gets him so hot just knowing you walked up to him and wanted this kind of relationship.

Will worship the very ground you walk on.

Eats you out like its his fucking job. Just know you’re not getting up until you completely understand how appreciative he is of you.

Will also give you his black card. Everything that he owns really.

Zoro -

You have to earn those cute little gifts he gets you

If you dont gag on his cock for more than 5 seconds, then maybe he’ll get you that diamond necklace you’ve been begging for.

Maybe add some tears and he’ll throw in a Birkin for moral support.

He’s a mean daddy.

This is his money and he’ll be damn if he gets a little pillow slut thats not gonna work for it.

Likes when you grin and act coy cause he knows he’ll have you sobbing in minutes.

Edges you for hours and the longer you make it, the more money you get.

Lowkey likes it when you nap with him- he’ll mentally think of taking a large chunk of your tuition when you sleepily nuzzle into his neck after a hard session.

Robin

Just like Zoro, Robin makes you earn it.

Into heavy petplay

Likes when you kneel and sit quietly whilst she reads a book.

Wants to see you crawl to her and beg for her money.

Grabs your jaw and coos when youre trying to explain why you need it.

She’s already put it in your account. She just wanted to see you ask politely for it.

Call her Daddy off-handedly and she’ll give you anything you want without question.

Likes to see you in the things she bought for you.

Especially likes to see you in her clothes, regardless if its something small like her socks or bracelets.

Dont bring her shopping with you. She’ll find a reason to fuck you in the changing room.

Tell you its your fault for looking so good.

Nami

She doesnt know how she got a sugar baby

It just happened.

The first couple of months will reluctantly give you money.

She knows how hard it is being poor so shes actually really generous when she does put the money in your account.

Nami has to see that you are a hard worker and willing to do anything.

Will blush hotly when you try to initiate anything.

Definitely will deny your advances until randomly she kisses you and pushing you against the wall.

You’ve just been doing so many things for her without complain. She needs to do something for you. Money is not enough anymore.

Overstims you because she thinks you deserve it.

Usopp

Is like Sanji in the “You chose me? No way!”

So overjoyed that you want anything from him to be honest.

Due to his inventions and status, he has made quite the name for himself and has more than he needs.

Speaking of his inventions, dont get too curious or he’ll wanna use them on you.

Loves your tear stained face after multiple orgasm from his little toys.

If you plead and beg that you just want him, he’ll go absolutely feral.

Apologizes for going so hard by buying anything you wanted.

He wouldve done so regardless, but the fact that you’re giving him so much just makes him want to give you the whole world.

Usopp is so weak for you, would definitely consider a real relationship with you if you so much just uttered a suggestion of it.

Franky

A teasing little shit

Literally has so much money to blow, but will tell you no just because he likes to get you mad.

Thinks your little tantrums are funny. When you start to pull away from him he will quickly grab you and force the money into your hand.

Insinuates that he will fuck you, but does everything but that.

Will ruin you when you least expect it.

Doesnt ever ask for permission at all.

Calls you into his office while hes working on something, only to have you bent over his desk minutes later. Making you pay for those cute shoes youre wearing.

Likes to ruin the things hes bought for you, just so he can have another reason to buy you things- and fuck you in them.

[ppersonna]

out of my league - knj | 01

you were out of my league. got my heartbeat racing. if i die, don't wake me, cause you are more than just a dream - out of my league, fitz and the tantrums

✹ summary- Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 6.6k

✹ genre- angst, smut, comedy

✹ chapter warnings- swearing, descriptions of sex, sexual content, namjoon being a sexy flirt, jungkook being a himbo, awkward conversations, jimin being a protective bff

✹ a/n- hello and welcome to this fic thats lived in my google docs for almost a year now. without @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen and @chimoona, i would never have posted it. i truly owe so much of my brainstorming and creativity to their incredible brains and thoughts and ideas. i love them very much! i hope you enjoy this first chapter! please feel free to message me, talk to me abt anything!! im always here to chat. ILY!

MASTERLIST

Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out this way.

You planned to confess your undying, unerring love for your coworker at a better time, a classier place. You would wear a dress that highlighted your features, hair cascading down your back, makeup done to perfection and spritzed with expensive perfume. You’d confess, he’d confess right back, and you’d live happily ever after.

You’d also dreamt that Kim Namjoon would have the slightest inkling of who you are before he finds out about your year long crush. He might know you as the mousy girl in the office who doesn’t talk and doesn’t contribute much other than some crunched numbers and apparently the best coffee brewer in the office. But you’d prefer he knows you well—your favorite colors and movies and foods, what makes you happy and sad; things future husbands should know.

You very much did not think it would happen in a company wide conference, full of over five hundred suit-wearing executives. You did not think it would be done by the office bully, Chungha, who carefully takes over the mic and speaks the words clearly as she presents awards of recognition.

“Congratulations to Kim Namjoon for 5 years with the company, over $4 million in revenue, and the object of ____’s lust and affection. I’m sure you two will have the happy life she’s written in her journal about. Make sure you celebrate with her today!”

The room is silent, so silent you could have heard a pin drop from a mile away. Your face is cherry red and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole. Your heart feels like someone has ripped it in half and you stare in horror at the girl smirking at the front. Is this what it feels like to be backstabbed? Namjoon looks perplexed—confusion written on his face as he gestures around to no one in particular like he’s saying ‘what the fuck was that?’

Awkward coughing and clapping begins and Namjoon stands to receive his award, a fine wooden fountain pen, and chances a glance around the room. He easily spots you, with your wide, frightened face. His look remains passive, not hinting what he’s thinking behind those stormy eyes, before he turns and sits back down at the table with his buddies from his department.

You seriously contemplate quitting your job. You could find a new one easily, right? Just stand up and tell your boss you quit and you’re out of there before Namjoon ever sees you again and you’ll never have to face the mean girl who’s ratting you out.

As much as the idea rolls through your head, you know you won’t do it. You love your job, love the security and finances it provides you, and you love to look at Kim Namjoon, all day every day.

You don’t understand where things went wrong.

( one month ago )

It’s 9:03 am. You finish brewing the coffee in the small staff kitchen and sigh at the aroma of the freshly ground beans. Coffee is your favorite meal, favorite time of day, favorite snack, and preferred beverage. You drink it constantly. You’re known as “coffee girl” at work, mostly because no one really bothers to get to know you beyond that. You drink coffee like it’s a devoted religion. You could drink a cup right before bed and still sleep like a baby. It was, put simply, your drink.

The office workers deem you to be the one to make the pots of coffee every morning, claiming you were the ‘best’. You didn’t mind—you preferred to make your own coffee regardless—but you believe your coworkers are trying to pass off the twenty-minute job to someone lower in the office hierarchy. And you were one step above the interns.

The coffee machine chimes to let you know it’s hot, and it’s ready for you. You eagerly pour a mug, a large one, and smile as the waft of freshly ground beans (by you, of course) fills your senses.

You nearly knock the cup out of your hand as Kim Namjoon strolls into the office, eyes set on the coffee.

You feel your throat swell up, like he’s an allergen and you’re caught without an epi-pen. Butterflies swirl in your stomach and you can’t stop staring at him. He pays you no mind, tired yet determined to pour a cup of coffee and get back to his office.

You stand in the small kitchen, clutching your coffee like a lifeline, and pray to god you don’t do something stupid.

Namjoon pours his mug, and you watch his muscular hands grip the coffee pot. He pours a hefty amount of cream and sugar into his cup—it appears even perfect male specimens have their faults. 

Your eyes dance on his face before they tango down his body. You wonder what he looks like in the morning, crawling out of bed with mussed hair and a sleepy smile painted on his face. He’d look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl and kiss you deeply despite morning breath. Maybe he’d take you to the shower to press you against the tile as he fuc-

“Oh!” it startles Namjoon to see you, and the coffee in his hand swishes violently. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry!”

Your heart melts. He’s the picture of kindness and politeness. You recognize it’s been a few seconds and you still haven’t replied.

“It’s fine!”

“Great coffee, by the way,” he smiles. His teeth nearly knock you out cold with their brilliance. “Have a good day.”

He turns and exits the room without so much as a glance back at you. Your knees feel weak.

Kim Namjoon talked to you. He complimented you. He told you to have a good day. It’s the best and most significant conversation you’ve had with your secret crush.

You definitely file that away for another day when you need to reminisce on his compliment, and you scurry out of the kitchen towards your desk.

Park Jimin is waiting dutifully at your desk when you arrive, a smug smile still slapped over your features as you sip at your coffee. Namjoon spoke to you today—how lovely.

Jimin quirks an eyebrow. 

“What’s got you so perky this morning?” 

You’re normally quiet and passive, avoiding eye contact or any semblance of emotion on your face.

You look up at the blonde bespectacled boy. Park Jimin is the closest thing to a best friend in the company. He’s who you spend time with at lunch, see on weekends, and text often. You suppose he’s the closest thing to a best friend you have in your entire life.

You send him a smirk and lean in close to whisper. “Namjoon said hi to me today!”

Jimin sends you a pitiful look and pats your shoulder. Your best friend is well aware of your secret crush and while he thinks Namjoon is a nice guy, he thinks your crush is a little hopeless. He’s the most popular guy in the office, often has dates lined up every weekend. Jimin hears the way he and his friends talk in the break room. The man is definitely not hurting for female attention.

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, unenthusiastically. “That’s great.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness over how excited you’re getting from a simple ‘hello’ from a coworker.

“I know, right? Anyway, lunch today?” You ask as you settle down into your cubicle.

Jimin pushes his glasses up his face and nods. “Of course! That’s why I came by this morning. I wanted to let you know that Jungkook from marketing will join us.”

You make a face, disgust etched in the lines creasing your forehead. 

“Why?”

Jungkook is well known in the company. He’s a loudmouth, a player, a clown, and everyone’s favorite comedian. He’s just not your favorite.

“Don’t be rude,” Jimin admonishes at your grimace. “He asked to join and well—he’s cute. I can’t say no to him.”

“Oh Christ, Jimin,” you groan. “Not you too! Don’t tell me you have the hots for the serial fuckboy?”

He blushes lightly and shrugs. “Maybe I do! Be nice to him today or I’ll eat all your chocolate ice cream I know you have at home.”

You stick your tongue out, petulantly. “Fine, now let me get to work or else Seokjin will be up my ass.”

Jimin smiles and kisses your cheek before he scurries away, back to human resources.

It feels as if barely any time has passed. You’re working hard, running calculations and updating spreadsheets. You have an eye for numbers, and losing yourself in an equation is just another day for you. You’re shaken from your cheerful place by a vibration from your phone, and a text alert popping on the lit screen.

jimin 12:01 pm- it’s lunchtime!! you better get your butt out here!

You smile and text back an affirmative reply, then move to grab your lunch from the company fridge. Gliding down the steps leading to the fresh outdoors, you meet Jimin at the lunch tables in the grass.

Jimin is sitting with Jungkook. You can recognize your best friend by his hair and glasses, and Jungkook by his obnoxious laughter.

“Hi,” you murmur as you sit down and open up the brown bag lunch you’ve brought.

“Hi!” Jimin is excited to see you, and just a pinch over eager to be sitting next to Jungkook.

“You know Jungkook, right?” Jimin asks, a harsh look in his eyes that reminds you to be on your best behavior.

You nod as you pull out a bag of grapes. “Oh, yeah, hey,” you smile. “I’ve seen you around.”

Jungkook delivers you a signature smirk and you feel yourself roll your eyes internally. “Yeah, you’re Coffee Girl, right?”

You pout and glare down at your brown bag lunch. Will you ever become more than just Coffee Girl?

“Yeah, I suppose that’s me.”

Jimin clears his throat to dismiss any awkwardness. 

“So, Jungkook, I hear you like working out? ___ likes to work out too. She drags me to the gym sometimes. Maybe we could all meet up sometime?” You don’t miss the hopeful lilt in his voice. Jungkook does.

“Oh, yeah?” He narrows a sexy look at you, rather—a look he thinks is sexy that you find off-putting. “What do you do at the gym? Little cardio sets with 5 pound weights?”

What an asshole.

“Sometimes,” you state as you take a bite of the homemade salad you handcrafted last night. “Most of the time I’m lifting heavy. I can bench 275 and deadlift 300.”

Jungkook looks taken back. “What, really?” He sounds breathless. “You lift more than Namjoon-hyung.”

At the sound of the love of your life’s name, you pause. Your face heats quickly and Jungkook smirks. Of course, he recognizes this and not Jimin’s obvious flirting.

“Why are you blushing?” He asks. “Did I say something?”

You’re quick to dismiss things. “Um--no. I just um,” you’re grasping at straws. “I’m hot.”

Jimin is trying not to laugh, hiding his mouth behind a petite hand.

Jungkook tilts his head. “It’s not even sunny today.”

You gulp. “Yeah, I must be hot. With a fever. M-malaria… probably.”

Jungkook snorts. 

“You have malaria? Bummer.” He picks at his nails. “I thought for a moment you had a thing for Namjoon.”

“No!” The retort is quick, too quick for normal conversation, and it gives you away.

“Aha!” Jungkook points an accusing finger at you. “You have the hots for him, don’t you?”

Your features melt, and Jimin tries to assuage the situation. “Jungkook, please don’t tell anyone,” he pleads.

Jungkook smiles at you. “That’s so cute. It’s like a little nerdy freshman crushing on the senior class president.”

You bury your head in your hands, suddenly unable to stomach any food.

“Jungkook,” Jimin’s tone becomes more firm, authoritative. “I’m asking you this as a friend. Please, don’t say anything.”

Jungkook holds his hands up to prove his innocence and waves his proverbial white flag. 

“Secret is safe with me,” he promises. “But it’s cute. I know him really well, you know. I could try to hook you two up.”

You blanch, unsure if you want Jungkook saying anything about you to the man of your dreams. 

“I’m good, but thanks,” you offer meekly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head back to work, okay?”

Jimin frowns, knowing you’re feeling like a cornered animal, and nods. “Feel better, babe,” he sighs.

Jungkook watches as you leave and turns to Jimin. “Man, he’s way out of her league.”

Jimin slaps the boy in the chest. “Be nice, asshole, that’s my best friend.”

Jungkook promises to be nice, and Jimin is blissfully unaware that others are listening and that the man beside him is easy to persuade.

( present day )

The company-wide meeting adjourns soon after what is likely to be the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever lived through.

You’re grabbing at your things and trying to run out of the room, desperate to get out before anyone sees you or talks to you or laughs at you.

A hand grabs at the coattails of your suit jacket and you’re pulled backwards with a yelp. You turn to seek your captor and find the concerned face of your best friend, Jimin.

“Are you okay? What the fuck just happened?”

Jimin’s concern makes it all real. Until now you could pretend you were in a fugue state, totally dissociated from reality. Now, you realize that everyone in the entire company is aware of your crush on Kim Namjoon.

You can feel your bottom lip wobble, tears threatening to spill. Jimin murmurs an ‘oh shit’ and drags you out of the large room and into the nearest bathroom. He pushes you to sit against the sink and passes you toilet paper to dab at your eyes.

“I don’t know how she found out!” you cry. “God, I feel so stupid and embarrassed.”

It incenses Jimin. He’s holding it back to ensure you’re okay, but in reality, it’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen. He’ll find who did it and punish them accordingly.

They will suffer. 

“It’s okay, babe,” he pulls you into a hug. “Everyone will forget about it soon. They’ll think it’s just a lame office joke, okay?”

You nod, feeling the slightest bit comforted by his words. 

“How could she find out, Jiminie?” You ask with a sniffle. “You’re the only person who knows.”

Jimin sighs and shakes his head.

“I don’t know, but they’re dead. I haven’t told any-... oh, my god,” Jimin stops suddenly. You look up at him to catch what he’s thinking.

He growls and balls his fists. 

“Jungkook knew.”

You let out a sob and bawl your eyes out into the tissue you’re holding. Jimin holds you tighter while he conjures up a hundred different ways to hurt someone and make it look like an accident.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin sighs, trying to comfort both you and himself. “I’m HR. I have to handle this. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve.”

You feel a sting of pain for Jimin. He’s been hopelessly doting on the man who spilled the beans for a few months now, even got to take him on a few dates. It was still nothing serious, but Jimin was clearly smitten.

“I’m sorry you have to do that, Chim,” you whisper. “I know how you feel about him.”

“Yeah, well,” he swallows thickly. “You’re more important than any asshole.”

Jimin holds you tight for a few minutes longer, before you clean yourself up and steel yourself. Ignore everyone, Jimin encourages. Just get to work, he says. Then you can go home and we’ll drink wine and forget about it all, he promises.

You replay his words in his head like a prayer as you walk down the corridors and towards your office. Everyone in the hallways stops to stare at you. They lean towards their friends and whisper. You hear snippets of their gossip, like “Namjoon” and “out of her league”. It drives the sharp blade lodged in your chest even further. It threatens to collapse your lungs and break your ribs.

You make it to your desk safe and sound and bury yourself in work and forcibly ignore the gawking and the stares. 

Just make it home. Just get through the day. You’re almost there.

You could do this.

You nearly make it the entire day before running into the one person you didn’t want to see, Kim Namjoon.

At the end of the day, you’re taking the stairs down to the parking garage instead of the elevator. The elevator is too busy, too many people, and you’re trying to avoid the stares and giggles at your expense. The stairs are always deserted and you figure it’s your safest bet.

You can nearly hear the wine calling your name at home. A delicate glass of Sauvignon Blanc and some chocolate ice cream and a good cry—it sounds like the best and only way to unwind after the worst day you’ve ever had in your life.

The chanting of your name gets louder and you wonder if you’ve finally lost your mind—if you’re actually hearing your wine bottles all the way at home talking to you.

No, wait. The voice is real, and coming from behind you. You turn around to face who’s calling you and nearly faint at the sight.

Kim Namjoon stands on the landing above you, one strip of stairs between you.

“Hey!” He seems glad he’s caught you. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”

You swallow and search for an answer. 

“Sorry, I’m-.. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”

Namjoon grimaces. 

“Yeah, about that…” he begins as he takes the steps down to be on equal ground as you. Your heart is spinning wildly. He’s so close to you. He’s talking to you. On any other day you’d be erupting towards the sky like a firework. But today isn’t any other day.

“I feel like I should apologize,” he states. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t plan it or anything.”

Damn him and his kindness. Damn him and his cute, awkward smile.

“No, no,” you assure. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have to apologize.”

It’s hard to make eye contact with the man. You want to, know it’s important in intense conversations like this, but the thought of him seeing you—really seeing you makes you ache inside.

“It was a really shitty prank,” he begins. “I’m sure you don’t even know who I am, let alone have a crush on me.”

For the millionth time that day, your face heats to a near boil. You stammer and you’re sure you’ve blown any chance at even thinking about a date with Namjoon.

“Oh, uh, right,” you seek an answer, beg your brain to pick something to say that doesn’t make you sound stupid. “I do.”

“You do what?” He’s confused and you widen your eyes at what just left your mouth.

“I do know you! I mean, I do have a crush on you! Oh, fuck,” you shove your face into your hands. “Please, ignore that. I need to go. Sorry!” You don’t give him a chance to reply, you book it out of the stairway as fast as your heels will take you.

Today was the worst day you’ve suffered through in your life.

The next few days aren’t much better.

Not only are you “coffee girl”, you’re now also sarcastically called “Namjoon’s girl”. As much as you hate your initial title, you’d prefer it to the new one they throw at you as you walk by.

Jimin rats out Jungkook and Chungha to the bosses. They get two weeks probation and they have to write you apology letters if they wish to keep their permanent files clean of any reprimands. It’s a slap on the wrist, and everyone involved knows it. Jimin is furious and wants the boss to reconsider. You tell him not to push it. You’d rather this be over and everyone to forget it even happened. Jimin unwillingly agrees.

You’re working at your desk, earphones shoved in your ears to diffuse the gossip in the room, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and are greeted with the face of Judas Iscariot himself, Jeon Jungkook.

“Hi,” he sounds sheepish, cheeks reddening.

You narrow your eyes at him, sharper than steel. “What the fuck do you want?”

He winces, knowing he deserved that. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. I know they told me to write you a letter, but it seems too impersonal…”. 

You can’t believe Jungkook is sucking his ego up and actually coming to you to apologize. You thought he’d for sure be the one to cop out and send a shitty letter.

He continues. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry that all went down. I didn’t mean to tell her. She got me drunk and said she saw me eating lunch with you and Jimin. I think she was jealous or something and it slipped out. I know that’s not an excuse. I fucked up your trust and Jimin’s trust. But I just wanted you to know I didn’t do it to be an asshole. She sort of duped me.”

You pause as you take in the man’s apology. He didn’t have to come to you in person. He could have easily taken the shitty route and half-assed a letter to you. But he didn't, and he owned up to his mistake. God dammit.

“I appreciate your apology, Jungkook,” you sigh and you see his body visibly relax. “I’m still mad, but I guess the anger is at her for doing it in the first place. I’m sorry she tricked you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and kneels down beside you. “I’m really happy you believe me. I was worried you were going to kick me in the nuts.

“I won’t lie, I thought about it.”

He smiles with you, and you feel like this is the restart of a friendship. “I definitely deserved it.”

You shrug and smile. “Jimin would kill me for hurting you. He might even kill me for thinking about hurting you.”

Jungkook’s smile drops at the name of your best friend. Yikes. Looks like there’s still trouble in paradise.

“I think you’d be in similar company with Jimin right now. He’s not speaking to me.”

You let out a breath through your nose. “Yeah, he’s a little protective of me.”

“For good reason,” he admits. “You’re like a cute little flower. A cute nerdy flower.”

“Jungkook,” you warn. “I just forgave you after I was humiliated in front of the entire company. I’d be careful with calling me nerdy right now.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

It’s hard to stay mad at the boy, no matter how much you dislike his reputation around the office. The fact that he humbled himself enough to seek you out and apologize is proof enough to you of his character.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. I forgive you,” you smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as his cheeks flare red.

“Yeah, it felt pretty shitty to just… do anything else. Plus, you seem really cool.”

“You seem great, too, Jungkook.”

He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, catching you off guard. For the fuckboy type, he’s surprisingly sensitive and soft. You like that about him.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” He says as he pulls away from you.

“Maybe you should apologize to Jimin, too?” 

His smile drops, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go find him now.”

“Good luck,” you offer with a pat on his shoulder.

With a sad smile, he turns and heads down the hallway towards the HR department. You pray Jimin shows mercy to the handsome boy.

A few weeks go by, and you’re sure that everyone has forgotten about you and your most embarrassing moment to date. You make the coffee, you calculate the numbers, everyone ignores you. Things return to relative normalcy.

Until it doesn't. The moment you think you're safe is the moment your guard comes down and everything falls apart around you.

It's when you're in the staff kitchen, grinding fresh beans to brew a second pot of coffee, that it happens.

The kitchen is fuller than usual. You normally try to wait until the lunchtime crowd dwindles and leaves to make your second pot, but you're so desperate for the caffeine that you can't find it in you to care.

You trudge into the kitchen with your handy coffee mug clutched in your tired hands and head towards the cupboards to grind up the beans.

There's a few groups of coworkers lingering in the room, and as your grinder whirs the beans around into a powder, you chance a look around to see who's among the crowd.

Your eyes flick immediately to where a hearty laugh erupts. It makes your heart still in your throat. Namjoon sits with his usual crowd of friends, hand gripping a homemade sandwich while the other assists him in telling his story to his friends. He pays you no mind—why would he?—and you can't help but stare at the way his dark brown hair lays perfectly against his forehead, and his eyes crinkle so cutely at the edges when he smiles.

You nearly forget about the coffee grounds—you're snapped out of your Namjoon-induced trance when suddenly a woman's laugh echoes around the room.

"Look at her," the voice states.

You peer up and see a girl you vaguely recognize. Is she from Marketing? Or perhaps Sales? You’re not sure, but she’s staring at you with a sneer.

“She’s so weirdly obsessed with Namjoon. It’s so creepy.”

Your face turns cherry red and you’re sure your lungs stop functioning. The air your body needs to breathe freezes and your chest aches. 

Namjoon turns to look at the girl before he looks and sees you grasping your coffee grounds tightly.

“Chungha was right—it’s so weird. Namjoon, you should talk to HR about this!”

Namjoon turns back to the gossiping coworker and frowns. “Can you leave it alone? She wasn’t even doing anything.”

The girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks back at Namjoon.

“How can you stand to be in the same room as her? She clearly thinks she has a chance with you.”

Her words come out like a bite. She punctuates her point with a harsh laugh and the group around her mumbles and chuckles in agreement.

You’re desperately grabbing at anything you can, wanting to leave as quickly as possible before you’re embarrassed further.

“Well, she does!” Namjoon replies loudly, annoyance written in his features. “I was actually going to ask her to dinner this weekend in private, but since everyone is so fucking interested in my love life, I have to do it publicly.”

The room falls silent, and your favorite mug falls out from your hands and shatters on the floor. All sets of eyes stare at you while yours widen with disbelief—you don't even care that you’re standing in a pool of old coffee and shattered ceramic. 

Namjoon stands and heads over to you, bending down to pick up the shards of your coffee mug. You take a few stunted breaths to kneel and help. 

His eyes peer into yours. They’re warm—a chocolate brown color that makes you feel safe.  

“What do you say?” He asks with a smile so gentle it nearly breaks your heart. “Will you let me take you out this weekend?” 

You’re gaping like a fish and the surrounding room is silent—bated breath waiting for your reply. 

“Yes, I would l-love that.” 

His smile turns even brighter, and he stands to throw the broken mug away. 

“I’ll email you the details, okay?”

Your head nods dumbly without thinking. His eyes sparkle as he smiles at you, and he extends his hand down to you to assist you off the floor. As your hand slips into his, you can’t help but feel how soft and strong he feels. You wonder what his hand would feel like caressing your face, smoothing down the expanse of your bare back, running down the length of your body.

The thoughts shake out of you as he winks and kisses your hand gently, causing the gossiping coworker to grunt her disapproval and for murmurs of shock to echo around the room.

“I’ll talk to you later, doll.” Namjoon winks at you before he grabs his sandwich and leaves the room, gesturing to his crew to follow along.

The place on your hand felt warm where his lips once lingered. You no longer cared about the angry glares from the rest of your coworkers. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, and you leave the kitchen nearly floating on cloud nine.

Email from: Kim Namjoon

Sent: 3:06 pm

Subject: Hey good lookin ;)

Hey! 

Just wanted to see how you are! I’m sorry about what happened at lunchtime. That was super petty and uncalled for. I really wanted to ask you out, and I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much by doing it in front of everyone.

I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Friday night after work? Say around 7? If you send me your address, I’ll pick you up.

Let me know!

Xoxo, Joon

You’re sure if you weren’t sitting in your tiny cubicle, you’d be screaming your lungs out.

The second the notification of the email came through, direct from the man of your desires himself, your body froze.

You re-read the message, over and over and over.  

The winky emoji, the xoxo, the nickname ‘joon’. It’s all so much and makes the grin on your face threaten to split your lips in half.

Your fingers press the “FWD” button and you quickly send the message to Jimin, before you stand demurely, attempting to give off an air of professional confidence. You need to talk to Jimin, now.

As soon as you’re out of the eyesight of suspicious coworkers, you bolt down the hallway towards Human Resources. Your high heels click loudly on the tiled floor, but the sound doesn’t even register in your mind. All you can think about is Namjoon, the email, the press of his lips on your hand, the way his smile made you feel as if you could fly.  

The door to HR swings open with your tight grip around the doorknob, and you open your mouth to call to Jimin, the lone employee, when you’re startled by the sight ahead of you.

Jimin sits on the edge of his expansive desk with his arms thrown around Jungkook’s neck and is clearly engaged in a deep, sensual kiss. At the sound of the door opening, they quickly break apart, with matching cherry red blushes on their cheeks and mused hair.

“Oh, shit,” you gasp. 

The men are silent and you can’t help but giggle after a moment passes. “I’ll take it you two made up?”

Jungkook flashes you a dopey grin, one that gives you an answer, while Jimin smirks haughtily.

“Jungkook and I were just discussing, umm… his 401k.”

Jungkook looks at the blonde boy for a moment, confused, before he gets it. “Yeah! Totally. Retirement. Love to t-talk about it?”

You laugh out loud and walk towards the couple.

“I’m sure it was a titillating discussion,” you tease. “I have good news though, if it’s okay to interrupt this retirement planning session.”

Jimin nods and Jungkook rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess I should leave?”

“It’s okay,” you smile. “I trust you.”

Jungkook smiles as if he’s just won the lottery. He looks between you and Jimin, face pure and excited like a puppy.

“What’s up?” Jimin asks as he moves to sit down at his desk.

“I forwarded you an email. Read it.”

Jimin nods and logs on to his posh computer, scrolling and clicking before narrowing his eyes and reading.

“Oh, my god.” Jimin’s face is shocked—it's written all over his features. “Namjoon asked you out?!”

Jungkook’s child-like grin turns into one of shock himself. He runs around to stand behind Jimin, eyes seeking over the words of the email.

“Well, hot damn,” Jungkook whistles. “He asked her out.”

Jimin exchanges a look with Jungkook, one that you’re not sure you can read. It quickly slips your mind, however, as you’re more focused on the task at hand.

“Can you come over tonight after work and help me pick out something to wear?” You ask excitedly.

Jimin smiles at you, a touch of sadness in his eyes, before he nods.

“Of course, babe,” he assures. “We’ll make sure you look nice and hot for the date with Mr. Kim.”

“Thank you!” You squeal as you wrap your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back before you scurry out of the office and back to your cubicle, itching to reply to the message.

Jimin sighs as the door to his office closes behind you.

“Kook, please don’t tell me he’s going to break her heart. He’s asking her out to make himself feel better about this, isn’t he?” 

Jungkook slips his hand into Jimin’s and squeezes. 

“I’ll find out, baby.”

Jimin smiles and nods appreciatively at the boy, before leaning up and kissing him.

Jungkook smiles against his lips, and is determined to ensure the young HR specialist never hates him again, even if he has to go behind his hyung’s back to ensure his new boyfriend’s happiness.

Jungkook has one mission now, and that’s ensuring Namjoon takes you on the greatest date known to man.

He grills Jimin with questions about what you like over dinner one night. Jimin finds it endearing that Jungkook is so eager to rectify his mistakes, but he still can’t help but worry that Namjoon is doing this to save face—not because he actually likes you.

“So, what does she like doing?” Jungkook asks as he spins his pasta around his chopsticks idly.

Jimin smiles as he takes a bite of the ramen Jungkook has thoughtfully prepared for their stay-at-home date.  

“I’ve told you already! She’s easy to figure out.” Jimin pats Jungkook’s hand gently. “She loves cooking and baking, working out, daydreaming about Namjoon.” 

“Cooking, hm,” Jungkook looks thoughtful as he takes a bite. “I think Namjoon can work with that. I’ll let him know!”

Jimin tries to hide the anxiety brewing in his stomach. He’s had to plaster on a fake smile for you while you tried on different outfits, wondering which will be the one to finally convince Namjoon he is the one for you. It’s hard to fake it around his boyfriend, too—but something tugs in his stomach that flares the cynical side of him.

Namjoon went from not knowing of your existence, to watching you get publicly embarrassed in a matter of minutes. While Namjoon isn’t a terrible guy, Jimin knows he doesn’t like anything to tarnish the gentleman reputation he’s built in the office. And as much as Jimin likes him, and surely likes his friend Jungkook, he can’t help but feel skeptical.

Jungkook hurriedly pulls out his phone and types away, letting his elder friend know of what he’s found out. Jimin swallows his food, and his pride, and hopes to god his growing cynicism is wrong.

Friday comes slower than you’d like. You wake up every day during the week, one day closer, and your eagerness hits peak levels. Namjoon sees you in the hallways during the week and winks at you, hands shoved in his tight slacks that make you salivate.  

He emails you again Thursday afternoon, confirming things and getting your address. You reply in nanoseconds, uncaring how overeager you come off. 

By the time your alarm clock rings on Friday morning, you’ve already been awake for 4 hours.

All you can do is daydream about the date, the way his hand fits into yours, the warmth of his eyes when he smiles at you.

It’s what fuels you through work.

You hope to god the numbers you’re attempting to work during the day come out right, because your mind is elsewhere for more than most of the day. There isn’t enough coffee in the world, but also your body feels as if you’ve overdosed on caffeine already.

The clock eeks towards 5:00 pm and you’re bolting out the door at 4:56 to head home and get ready for your date.

Jimin attempts to meet you before you leave, but your desk is cold and empty by the time he gets there.  

He sighs and heads back towards his office to gather his things, waving bye to various coworkers as they file out of the corporate building.

He turns the corner towards his office but stops in his tracks as he sees Namjoon’s back to him, phone pressed to his ear.

“Baby, I’ll come over later tonight, okay?” Namjoon speaks into the phone.

Jimin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He retreats and hides behind a wall, ear carefully peeled to listen to the tall man’s conversation.

“I’m going on this date with that chick from work,” he sighs. “It won’t last more than a few hours. Poor girl has a crush on me and you know the usual assholes won’t leave her alone.”

Jimin bites his lip and clenches his fist. Namjoon thinks he means well, but he knows his suspicions have been confirmed, and he’s torn inside. He wants to tell you, to warn you not to get too invested in the man, but he also has no interest in popping the bubble you’ve been in since the day he asked you out.

Jimin lets it simmer for now. He decides he’ll monitor Namjoon and cut things off if it appears the man strings you along for fun.

Namjoon finishes his phone call with a promise to see whoever is on the other end of the phone later that night, and Jimin quickly pulls out his phone and fakes a conversation with no one when he hears the man approach.

“Oh, Kookie,” Jimin giggles, leaning against the wall casually. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, either, babe.”

Namjoon walks towards Jimin and makes eye contact with the HR specialist.

“Bye, Kook! See you tonight, baby.” Jimin finishes up the fake phone call as Namjoon arrives next to him, and he plasters on his best fake smile.

“Congrats on you and Jungkook,” he speaks sincerely.

Jimin hates how nice he is, hates that he’s a nice guy who gets too wrapped up in his own good looks and reputation.

“Thanks, Namjoon,” Jimin smiles uneasily. “You too! Have fun on your date tonight.”

Namjoon’s face lights up and Jimin desperately wishes he could go back in time to 30 seconds ago, before he heard the conversation, and believe that Namjoon truly wanted to date you.

“Thanks, should be fun, huh?” He winks and nudges Jimin, before he waves a goodbye and continues out the door.

Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number of his boyfriend.

“Hey, baby. We’ve got a problem.”

tag list! - @jimidol @aretha170 @dearbambideer​ 

[spicy-tomato]

Can i pls req dream being reader's sugar daddy :O - 🌼

sorry this took a hot sec ive been working on this one for a while cause i really liked the idea, so here you go :)) it ended up being like 2k words so im sorry

You had it all, anything you could want and more. Wanted to go to rome? Done, your plane leaves tomorrow. Dream absolutely spoiled you and you couldnt be more happy about it. It started off as a thing to help you with rent, but the longer you did it the more you enjoyed being able to get what you wanted when you wanted. Today was your weekly lunch with dream, you had both agreed that at least once a week he would take time off to get lunch with you, it made you smile to see him take time for you. As the tease you were, you decided to wear something a little revealing to tease him since he had cancelled your shopping trip with him the day before. You put on a low cut crop top and some shorts that show a little too much before fixing your hair. You hear you phone ding, getting a text from dream,

Daddy dream <3

Hey baby, i'm out front whenever youre ready to go

You smile and put your phone in your pocket before walking out to his car and getting in. you kiss his cheek quickly “hi daddy” you giggle and smile at him

“Hi sweetheart” he looks you up and down before smirking “like the outfit, all for me?” you giggle and nod before he starts to drive to the restaurant, one hand on your thigh. “Do you know what you want? You know the rule, anything you want no matter the price. And after that we can go shopping to make up for my cancelling yesterday.” you smile at him

“I know, and we dont have to dream, we can just hang out. Its been a while since we did that. Maybe we can go somewhere for you to make it up to me instead” he smiles and squeezes your thigh as he pulls into the parking lot of the restaurant.

“Anywhere you want baby, only the best for you.” you look down and blush, moving over to lean your head on his shoulder as he moves a hand to pet your hair. “Ill take you anywhere anytime and get you anything you want.” you cant lie, at times you had thought about being more than just his sugar baby, having a real romantic relationship, but he was always so busy that it made it seem almost impossible. Sure he took time out to be with you but it was never a lot unless you were traveling. He didnt tell you a lot about his job either, just knew that he had a large following and that he didnt want anything serious and put his partner in a bad situation, but damn if you havent thought about him coming home to you and calling you his.

“Baby? You okay? You zoned out.” he waves a hand in front of your face and you blink back to reality.

“Yeah, sorry i just got a little distracted. Lets go get some food!” you pull away from him and he gets out, walking around to open your door for you and holds a hand out to help you. “Thank you” you smile and take his hand as you step out, he closes the door behind you and puts an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side as you both walk up to get a table. You get seated immediately and he pulls your chair out for you. “Is there a single flaw with you?” you ask genuinely, he just laughs and shakes his head.

“Theres a bunch you dont know about me, sweetheart.” you roll your eyes as the waitress comes back with your mimosa and his water, asking for your orders. He orders for you and him before she walks off to put them in. He always knows what you want and orders it for you. It makes you smile that he likes to take care of you. You shake that thought away and go back to mindlessly talking with him, waiting on the food. It comes shortly and you both start to eat. “Where do you want to go? Japan? Italy? Oh we havent been to paris in a while, maybe there.”

“I think paris would be great, its always so pretty this time of year, maybe we can have dinner on the eiffel tower again!” your eyes light up at the thought of going back to paris. Last time you went was last spring, you both walked around and had the most wonderful time people watching and shopping. You take another bite and he looks like hes about to say something before he stops himself and looks down. “What is it? Is something wrong?” you look at him concerned, scared you messed something up.

“Its nothing darling, dont worry.” you both finish up lunch and he pays before helping you up and leading you back to the car. “I have something id like to ask you when we get to paris if thats okay, its nothing bad i promise its just something ive been meaning to ask for a while is all.” you nod as he opens the door for you and helps you in. “now, a pretty girl like you needs pretty new clothes for the trip, lets go get you some.” he smiles at you as he gets in, resting a hand back on your thigh as he starts the car, leading you both to the mall.

You spend hours in there going to different stores and trying things on, him getting you whatever you wanted without any hesitation. You walk back to the car with armfulls of bags and a couple new suitcases. “Thank you so much daddy, youre the best.” you kiss his cheek and he turns a little red.

“Its no problem baby, why dont you stay over tonight and we can leave in the morning to head to the airport. I can help you pack and we can watch a movie.” you smiles and nod, putting your bags in the back of the car and your new suitcases in the trunk.

“Id like that…” you think for a second about how nice it would be to wake up next to him every day and how nice it is to fall asleep next to him when it happens, even if when you did wake up after he wasnt next to you. The cold bed always made you remember that you would never be more than this, not that this was bad in the least its just sometimes you wish you could be more. He drives you both back to his apartment building and helps you out, grabbing most of your bags, only leaving you to grab the suitcases as you enter the building. He lived on the top floor in the penthouse, expected for how much money he had. You set your stuff down in his room, your new clothes already laid out nicely thanks to him. He walks up behind you and hugs you from behind.

“Youll look so good in all of those baby, gonna be the prettiest one in paris.” he kisses your neck softly before pulling away and taking your hand, leading you to sit on the part of the bed not covered by clothes. “Let me go run you a bath and you can pick out a movie.” you nod and he walks to the bathroom, leaving you alone on the bed. You turn on the tv and start scrolling through netflix looking for a movie, finally deciding as he walks back in and picks you up. You giggle and wrap your arms around his neck, moving your head to rest on his chest as he carries you to the bathroom. He sets you on the counter and takes your shirt off carefully, leaving kisses down your neck and chest and he moves down to take your shorts off. You lift yourself gently to help him take your shorts off. He takes them off quickly before nipping and kissing your inner thighs, ghosting over your core. You whine and try to move closer to him before he presses your hips down into the counter.

“Stay still baby, dont wanna have to punish you. Daddy just wants his desert.” you nod quickly and stay still, his head diving to softly kiss your clit, causing you to whine. He chuckles and starts to slowly eat you out, almost at a teasing pace. You whine and grip the counter, trying to keep from pulling his hair. He pulls away and smiles, “good girl, being so good and not pulling my hair. Just letting daddy eat you up.” after he says that his hands move down to your thighs open as he starts to eat you out like a man starved. You let out a loud moan and throw your head back, your hands moving to his hair and tugging closer. At this point he didnt care about you pulling his hair, to blissed out by hearing your sweet moans and tasting you. Your cries became louder as he dragged you closer to the edge. as you were almost there he stopped, causing a loud whine from you as he moves up to face you. He looked like heaven like this, face covered in your slick with eyes dark from lust.

“Now my good little girl, i want you to get off the counter and bend over for daddy.” you quickly move off the counter and do as your told. “Such a perfect little girl, i want you to watch as i make you feel good, got it? You look away and i stop,” he chuckles and grabs your neck after you nod. His hand moves from your neck to your hair to hold you in place, making eye contact with him through the mirror.

“Such a precious little pet for me, arent you?” you whine as he lines up with your entrance, teasing you, causing you to press your hips back against him. He smacks your ass roughly and pulls you against his chest by your hair. “Thats not very nice bun, its almost like you want me to leave you all worked up.’’ he smirks at you before pulling you roughly back against him, ripping a scream from your throat. He sets a brutal pace, leaving no time for you to adjust to him. He keeps the pace, your legs starting to shake as he brings you back to the edge of your orgasm before quickly throwing you over it. You let out a cry of his name, trails of tears starting to run from your eyes as he keeps going.

“Pretty little bunny, always so good and tight for me. Gonna breed you so good. Fuck you until i know it takes.” he tugs your hair roughly and starts to bite and suck at your neck, leaving marks in his wake. You whine and cry, moving your hands to tug at his hair. “So close princess, gonna fill you up so good.” he moves a hand to your clit to punctuate his statement, causing a louder cry to come from you as you tip over the edge once again. His hips start to stutter as he fills you up, riding out his high with shallow thrusts letting out a few more quiet moans before pulling out of you carefully. You whine and tug at his hair as he does so. He picks you up carefully as he pulls away.

“i figured we could take a bath and then cuddle before we pack and figure out what time we should leave for the airport.” you nod and he carries you carefully over to the tub, setting you down carefully in it before getting and sitting behind you. He starts to wash your hair as you slowly drift off to sleep. You wake up briefly as he lifts you from the tub and carries you to the bed. He moves the blankets back and sets you down gently before crawling in next to you , pulling the blankets back over you.

“Be my partner,” he says as you turn towards him

“Only if we can still go to paris” you giggle and he nods, kissing the top of your head before you both drift off.

[osmpalliumduo]

Hello! May I hand u my healer!Tommy au??

-Tommy had passed most of all his life training to be a hero just like his brothers and father, this ones being the owners of one of the biggest agency of heroes in the country

-In his family, everyone manifested their abilities as soon they turned 15

-His father, Phil or known as “Philza”, got this big gorgeous black wings in his back as soon as he hit that age

-His first older brother, Technoblade or “The Blade” presented this inhuman strength and was able to manifest a huge blade in his hands whenever he wanted

-His other older brother Wilbur or known as “Mockingbird”, noticed that he could suddenly use this tone of voice that would force anyone around to copy whatever he said

-Being said that, Tommy was nothing but excited to know what kind of sick ability he would get as soon as he turned 15

-but much to his surprise, nothing happened

-well, not until the next day after his birthday, when Wilbur accidentally tripped and fell down the stairs of their house and somehow despite being this huge hero, hit his head really hard to the point it started bleeding

-Tommy grabbed onto Wilbur’s face gently, trying to calm him down as his father called an ambulance and suddenly, the pain faded away along with the blood

-and Tommy’s eyes looked strangely brighter than before, like shining stones

TOMMY: so.. you are telling me that, I am a healer?

WILBUR, PHIL & TECHNO, nodding enthusiastically:

TOMMY, tearing up: THATS SO FUCKING SHIT!

-Tommy didn’t liked his power, not even one bit, so he trained even harder to make up for the fact of not having a “cool ability”

-he got guns. two silver guns which later Tommy painted red with a graffiti paint can he stole from a guy on the streets

-anyways, he didn’t gave up on his dream of being a hero, actually, he decided to become a vigilante until he got his license

-moving on, Tommy is constantly sneaking into Wilbur’s missions even tho he isn’t allowed in, getting sometimes even kidnapped by the villains themselves as a hostage

-Techno always makes sure to make them regret it deeply to the point that most of the time, if a vandal sees Tommy wandering around, they’ll stay as far away as they can

-Tommy thinks it’s because he is very intimidating, he really isn’t

-Eventually, Wilbur and Techno let Tommy hang around in the hero agency where the “big” heroes talk about plans and shit

-it quickly backfires

WILBUR, grabbing a whiteboard: as I was saying, we should talk about the patrol schedules, as you see here-

Everyone there, chuckling:

WILBUR, looking at the whiteboard, finding a doodle of Tommy with the header “SUCK IT WIL” instead of the schedule: ...

-Tommy always finds a way to get into Wilbur’s or Techno’s nerves, interrupting their meetings, stealing their shit, sometimes even hiding their hero suits

-but he also helps a lot at the station, whenever someone gets badly injured in battle they get send back at the station so Tommy can cure em

-Tommy pretends he finds that job annoying, but he kinda feels great whenever he fixes a broken leg or a very bad burn that could have been problematic

-he also helps a lot with the interns! Also known as the “in-training heroes”

-the in-training heroes are people who are very close to getting their hero license but wish to know how’s the career actually like! So they train with actual heroes and act somewhat like their sidekicks

-And, that’s how Tommy meets Tubbo and Ranboo, two guys who get chosen to be Wilbur’s interns for a couple of months

-at first Tommy messes with them in purpose just to piss them off but he ends up getting attached to the two boys

TOMMY, entering the station: Big man is here!

WILBUR, putting down his paper work: oh hi Tommy! Come here! Give your brother a hu-

TOMMY, walking just past by Wilbur: Tubso! Ranboob! Wanna go get some milkshakes? :D

WILBUR: ...betrayal >:(

-Wilbur gets kinda jealous of them, which ends up on a stupid battle for Tommy’s attention

-Oh! by the way, Tubbo and Ranboo also get attached to Tommy much to their dismay

-why a dismay? They kinda are there to kill Wilbur, Techno and Tommy

-yep! Villain bee duo! They were infiltrated into the station as two interns and aspiring heroes, but they are actually just there to spy on em and kill the three brothers

-the plan backfires, they are kinda attached to Tommy now

TUBBO, in the meeting with all his gangster mates: so, problem here

Everyone: ???

TUBBO, erasing Tommy’s name off the “to-murder” list: we aren’t doing this anymore

RANBOO, nodding while holding onto one of the sweaters Tommy knitted for him: we are attached now

-The group wasn’t very pleased but out of fear of Tubbo and Ranboo, they said nothing, deciding to continue with the murder plan just behind Tubbos and Ranboo’s back

-and that kinda ends up with everyone going for Tommy in the missions, attempting to kidnap him, to shot him, and of course murder him

-so, Tubbo and Ranboo are always behind Tommy in the missions, keeping a close eye on him

-Tommy just thinks they are clingy, like his brothers or dad

Extra stuff:

-Tommys power drains a lot of energy out of him, so he has to constantly eat or drink things with lots of sugar before missions so he doesn’t end up passing out after healing two or three people

-He used to drink lots of coke cans but Phil got very concerned for Tommy’s kidneys so he exchanged that with sweet apples, so Tommy always has to bring a backpack with apples to the missions

-If he abuses his ability too much and doesn’t “regen” with the apples he will end up passing out! Example: (healing 5 persons with no regen = passing out for two hours) (10 = a whole day) (40 = a whole week)

-one time, after a huge attack with bombs, Tommy healed about 70 people in the accident and ended up passing out for almost two weeks straight

-the whole family (and Tubbo & Ranboo) got so scared that they didn’t let Tommy use his ability for at least a month after

-Ranboos ability consists on teleporting and inhuman force (apart from being able to manifest a huge axe into his hands whenever he wants to)

-meanwhile Tubbo’s ability consists on being able to manifest bombs with his hands (tho he likes to call them “nukes”)

[saksukei]

oikawa tooru as a boyfriend

others; ushijima | tsukkishima | tanaka | kuroo

some of you all don't understand how great of a boyfriend he'll be,,,,, aND IT PAINS ME

HES A LITERAL KID IN THE RELATIONSHIP

like oh my god

he'll ruffle your hair,,,, give you piggy back rides,,, tickle wars,,,, teasing you about how you're such a simp for him,,,, he's just the type of boyfriend that WILL leave your heart pounding

to be honest,,,, he didn't expect to like anyone,,, given that half of his time is consumed by volleyball

but his pretty boy bravado goes out of the window when he meets you oh gosh

he denied his feelings for the longest because you know,, his past experiences with relationships,,,,, but then he saw your smile and he knew he was fucked™

will go around showing pictures of you and be like

“HAVE YOU SEEN THE LOVE OF MY LIFE–?”

and everyone will be like “for the fiftieth time– yes.”

he uses pet names like ‘baby’ ‘honey’ ‘sugar’ ‘bubs’

you know how most of the hq boys will lend you their jacket?? yeah,,,, if you ask oikawa HE WILL EVEN TAKE OFF HIS JERSEY AND GIVE IT TO YOU

if you ever come to his matches,,,, He smirks so damn match and the opposing team gulps because oikawa smirking is not a good sign

and if you cheer for him,,,, he'll be like “YES THATS MY BABY ARE Y'ALL JEALOUS HAHA??? SUCKS TO BE YOU THEN” and the entire team is trying to stop him before he gets kicked out

oikawa loves being in physical contact with his significant other at all times,,, so holding hands, forehead kisses, back hugs are all too common

BUT HE WILL KISS YOU IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE TEAM ON PURPOSE,,, ESPECIALLY KNOWING THAT IT WILL MAKE YOU SHY

his favorite place to kiss you though is on your wrists,,, they're so delicate compared to his,,, and his hands wrap around them so easily he can't help but kiss them

dates consist of going to volleyball matches of other teams to analyze them while wearing disguises,,,, going to the park for the swings,,, going to local cafes and maybe even having study dates but,, oikawa isn't letting you study

he even loves going to watch sunsets with you

spoils the absolute shit out of you,,, flowers, matching couple outfits,,,, you name it, he'll do it

HES SO CHEESY OH MY GOSH HE FLIRTS WAY TOO MUCH AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY TO HIDE THAT HE'S LIKE IN LOVE WITH YOU

and yes, he will absolutely trap you between a wall and steal kisses I DONT MAKE THE RULES

one day,, oikawa will come up to you randomly and be like “can you wear your most expensive dress?”

and once you do,,, he'll be in a suit,,,

and then he'll play some song from the 1960’s and you two will dance around in the living room

and then he'll also take you out to dinner

also– PLEASE PLAY WITH HIS HAIR ITS SO FLOOFY

oikawa loves one thing,,, and it's a very intimate thing but he loves taking showers with you,,, after his tiring day, he just wants to be in your arms and he wants you to wash his hair will he washes yours,,,, he also loves it when you give him massages

and perverts, get your minds out of the gutter

I know a lot of people think oikawa won't be loyal in a relationship,,, sorry to break ya bubble lovelies but I think he'll be one of the most geniune and loyal boyfriends,,,

yes he will have a bit of trouble trusting, especially in the start of the relationship where he wouldn't share anything at all,,, but please don't ever doubt his love for you,,,

oikawa would never cheat on you, heck he'd be showing his fan girls pictures of you,,,, he'd decline their confessions like they were nothing,, because he only has his eyes one person and that's you

on bad days, he'll bury his head in your chest,, wanting nothing more than to stay in your warmth

fights happen because you want him to take care of himself and stop with the reckless attitude

he might be a tad bit mean at first,,, but once he cools down, he'll immediately apologize and maybe even start crying,,, telling you how much he loves you and that you're right– he needs to be more careful,,,

and the next day, oikawa will start texting you what he's eating, how much he slept etc omg

if you're upset,,,, he'll do anything in his power to make you happy,,, be it kisses, shopping,,, it doesn't matter

your happiness matters so much to him,,, he'd walk on a bed of nails if it'd make you smile

you'll be there with him, laughing your asses off,,, and the only thing oikawa will be thinking is “i wouldn't rather be anywhere else than here”

he feels so warm in his chest,,, more warm than he's ever felt before,, and he thinks that you'll be the death of him,,,

all in all,, he's a sweetheart,,, yes it might be tough in the start but once he's comfortable,,, you'll be second guessing whether oikawa is actually an angel or a human being

[lizandbo]

Tsukishima x chubby reader

Warnings: cursing (as always)

Ok, so i already wrote this but it didn’t save soooooo......yay for me and thhe others has gone through this , and also high on gingerale from the sugar so i may be a lil more energetic soooo yeah...

And also she sorry if this ain’t proof read, and it is very embarrassing....andddddd i sorry if this isn’t like a chubby reader,, and this isn’t like tsukishima buttt ya kno..I already made this so...yeah

(Tsuki is sooooo fuckkkiiinnng cutttttteeeeeeeeee when he was a lil itty btiy fucking kid)

- When you and tsuki go out somewhere it’s usually either at a fast food place, a park....orrrrr somewhere in a mall probably a some music shop to get new head phones or something

- but today was not your fuckungb day

- you over heard at lunch that one of your friends from a friend group was talking behind your back

- and today you ain’t having shit 

- tsuki on the other hand wasn’t the greatest of modes.... he picked out a fight between kageyma and Hinata 

- he didn’t pick it but he was in it

- and it didn’t go so well- he got suspended for two days from volleyball

- so he was kinda very very very pissed

- so both of you was a bit tense

- all he wanted to do is lay down next t you and hold you close buttttttt you were trying to figure out what is happening with your friends 

- couple hours later after your discussion wit your friend and tsuki being salty at who ever walked by past him

- you both landed at home

- when you got in before he did, you ran to the fridge and snagged a ice cream and ran toward the bedroom to whip out the controller to turn on Netflix; how the grinch stole X- Maz 

- after a good fifteen minutes then come rushing tsuki with his earphones on around his neck, he looked inside the bedroom door that you both shared... he saw you bundled up eating ice cream, watching the grinch movie 

- as he got closer, you squeal like a old wagon thats been last rolled since when the cavemen knew how to make a fucking fire

- “move” he said way too harsh for you to completely relaxed...like i said you ain’t having shit today

- you made a lil  pout and turned away

- he nudged you, and nudged...after the fifth nudge he rolled you

- he made a lil grunt at the end of pushing you...so that only could mean that you were too heavey (not) 

- you just bursted out crying without noticing it

- tsuki is so fucking surprised and confused at the moment rn 

- and he ddint know what he did wrong 

- the pillows were soaking wet just by a few secs of cryin 

- he finaly got some space in the bed with you

- after a couple of minutes, you finally give in

- “ what happend today?” Still sorta sobbing

- “got in a fight with the annoying midgets on my team and now I’m suspended for two days straight’

- “ damn, I hope you are okay”

- “but are you okay?”what a kind salty boi

- “ personally I think i have a way worse day than you”

- “why is that?”

- “one of my friends talked about how fat I look and they ain’t surprised that I haven’t died from all the sugar i eat, and i eat like a pig- and I look like one and—” you couldn’t finish the rest of the sentence becuase you were crying way tooo much to understand 

- tsuki snaked his slender long fingers around your neck, made it up to your jaw line/

- “ where’s their address?”

- “w-what -sNiFf-...why?”

- “so i can beat them up”

-” ....what?”

- “you heard me”

- “but i thought you already had a fight today?”

- “ y/n, who’s the one who called you those fucked up names?”

- “my friends”

- “i know but who?”

- “ *your friends name*”

- tsuki just playfully smirked and continued slithering his limbs around your body 

- his, legs were now fully tangled with yours.... and his noodle arms were around your torso 

- “ that freakshow is gonna be dead by the time school  is over”

- “babbeee”

- ngl....he has a fucking soft spot for you

- “ but, i am very chubby-”

- “ no, thats a lie”

- “ but..-”

- “but nothing, there is no buts...i love you”

- “mmmm I love you too”

- tsuki kissed your temple, and then your jawline, your puffy cheeks, so many lil pecks to the point that you giggle to no end

- he slowly squished your cheeks together to get that fishy lips, then just kissed yo lips like nothing is happening with your lips

- help me why does kei love being all sappy when you guys are aloneeeeee

- he just loves youuuuu

[bonny-kookoo]

Bittersweet (JJK x Reader) ☕️💜🔞

🍪 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

🍪 Genre: Barista!AU, Mutual pining, smut because this is my content we’re talking about

🍪 Warnings: mentions of sickness, mentions of vomiting, best boi Koo, coffee puns, casual y’all during sex, protected sex because we have our lives under control in this household, overstimulation, rough! Koo, spanking (like..once), doggy-style because why not, reader rides Koo for a moment before he takes the upper hand again, they’re just being a mess ok

🍪 Summary: every day she’s his favorite costumer. So when she’s suddenly absent; what’s he supposed to do without any way to contact her?

Jungkooks eyes began to sparkle as she stepped inside, wrapped up in a fluffy brown jacket, a scarf around her neck.

His scarf to be exact.

Now, they both weren't a couple- but close enough. He'd given her his scarf the day before as she'd forgotten hers at home; and due to the cold weather outside, he'd immediately gotten concerned over her health. He knew that she hated the cold- so he'd gifted his own protection against the harsh wind outside to her, uncaring about himself in that moment.

It gave him a weird sense of pride knowing that she wore it still. And as she stepped closer, Jungkook had already prepared her usual order- never forgetting to include her favorite cookies, a thing he'd memorized by now. She never quite drank coffee, but more like, milk and sugar with a drop of coffee. His coworker, Jin, had made fun of it several times in the past; he'd always stepped in however, as soon as he could see how embarrassed she got.

"Oh?" He asked, as he noticed her red nose and glossy eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked, and she giggled before coughing. He furrowed his brows. Hopefully she didn't want to go to work like that- but by now he knew her well enough to have a very big suspicion that that was exactly her plan for the day.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh hey what's brewing? Looking good yourself, thanks for the compliment-" She said, trying to laugh but coughing again. "Hey look, I kind of wanted to return your scarf, but I also don't want to share my bacteria with you so- is it okay if I keep it for a bit?" She said, voice a bit muffled due to her facemask. He nodded, a slight pout on his lips.

"I know you're gonna go to work but-" He said, placing her order on the counter for her to take, as she placed down the money he took. "Can you at least go home a bit earlier? You really do look not so good." He said, doe-eyes growing a bit pleading at her as she sighed.

"I'll try, okay?" She said, and he nodded. Technically he'd ask her to promise, but he also knew how headstrong she was. The fact that she aknowledged his request was good enough for now.

"Okay." He said, smiling a bit as he waved from behind the counter as she left. "Take care!" He called out as she still waved, almost tripping over the small step outside the door as he chuckled, turning to the next costumer.

She wasn't there the next day.

Typically he should not get too worried about it, but as the week passed, she still didn't show up. A coworker of hers couldn't tell him either what was going on; only that she wasn't at work either.

So she was probably at home resting. Hopefully.

"...kook. Jungkook!" Jin called out, saving his younger coworker from spilling hot milk all over his hand. "Okay, spill the beans loverboy." He sternly said as he took him to the side, the cafe calm and almost empty as they were close to closing time. Jungkook sighed as he ran a hand over his face, groaning for a moment.

"I'm worried!" He exclaimed, no need to say out loud who he was talking about. "I know that she's an independent adult person who can surely take care of herself but what if something happened? What if she's at home too sick to take care of herself? Jin during the entire time she came here, she never missed an entire week!" He explained in pout as he let himself flop down on one of the small chairs. Seokjin sighed, before he looked at the clock.

"Go. I'll wrap things up today." He said, as Jungkook furrowed his brows. Even if he went home now, that didn't help his situation at all! "I'll give you her number and you can call her-" He started, as Jungkook suddenly jumped up.

"You have her number?! Why didn't you tell me?" He yelled, absolutely scandalized by this.

Seokjin threw his hands up in defeat. "Okay slow down, first of all you never asked. Second of all she told me not to!" He said, and Jungkooks look shifted. He suddenly didn't look offended anymore- he looked hurt. Betrayed almost.

"Why.?" He asked, now way quieter.

Jin sighed. "She wanted you to ask for it instead." He answered, and Jungkook threw his head back again, groaning as Jin laughed. "Give me your phone.." He said, taking the device from him and putting in her contact info. "There you go. Use protection kid!" He called after Jungkook, who'd immediately grabbed his phone and ran out, putting on his coat on his way.

The older one simply shook his head, smiling.

"..yeah?" The very tired voice of hers answered as Jungkook sat up straighter on his couch.

"H-Hey its Jungkook! You know, Kookie, the barista who puts in vanilla sugar instead of the lame stuff?" He said, and suddenly a laugh reached his ear, making him involuntarily smile. "Hey, I.. you didn't show up the entire week and it made me kind of worry so, I wanted to ask if you're good?" He asked, shyness slowly dying down.

Her voice sounded strained. "Yeah yeah, just great-" She said, before coughing. "Okay yeah no. Have you ever needed to sneeze but you couldnt?" She asked, and he hummed a reply, agreeing that he indeed had been in that situation before. "I feel absolutely like I'm gonna, you know, throw up, but I can't." She groaned, and his brows furrowed at that.

"I promise I don't try to be creepy here but-" He started, as he looked at his dog, peacefully sleeping next to him on the couch. "Can you give me your address maybe so I can come over? I- Listen I'm super worried, and no one should be left alone when sick." He said, and wondered if he was overstepping a line. Until he heard some shuffling, and a jingling sound.

"I'll text it to you, k? I uh.. unlocked the door now because I sure as hell won't be getting up anymore today." She said, as he chuckled.

"Oh, so you're gonna make me your maid?" He asked, and she giggled.

"Thats the plan Kookie."

"Y/N?" He called, without getting an answer. He thought about it, before trying a second attempt. "Midget!"

The answer was almost instantly. "The fuck do you mean Mid-" She tried, before coughing.

Jungkook walked inside the bedroom after searching for a moment, looking at her with a pitiful smile as he leaned against the doorframe. If she wasn't feeling so absolutely disgusting in that moment, she would've whistled at his way different outfit. After all, she mainly only saw him in his regular work attire; the black button up and ripped jeans he sported now a complete one-eighty to that. He looked so much more mature like that- now actually giving away that he was a bit older than her. Did he always have such a defined jawline? He could definitely cut a bitch with that-

Wow, exit was three miles ago.

"Done staring sugar?" He asked, and she only groaned, burying herself deeper into her massive mountain of blankets as he chuckled. "Alright. I'm gonna carry you into the living room, because I wont be spending my time in your stuffy bedroom." He said, making her giggle as she peeked out of her makeshift burrito.

"You won't?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively before sneezing into the blankets, making him chuckle again.

"You're sick, so no." He said, and she suddenly yelped as he leaned down to pick her up. "What?" He asked with wide eyes.

"I'm sick!"

"So?"

"I'm sick."

"Heard that before." He said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. She swallowed a bit at that because- was that a tattoo staring at her? Why did she never notice his hand was inked?! She shook her head, to focus again. "You'll get sick too!" She explained, before he scoffed.

"It's not like I'm licking your face sugar, now stop being difficult." He said, as he picked her up, blankets and everything included as he carried her back, placing her onto her couch before he squatted down in front of her face. "I'm gonna heat up some soup, and you'll eat something alright?" He said, and she shook her head.

"I'm gonna throw it up." She said, a pout evident. She didn't want his hard work to simply go down the drain- quite literally.

"That's okay." He answered, as she furrowed her brows. "You probably can't throw up because you haven't eaten. People typically feel better after vomiting so it's okay. Win win situation, really." He said as if it wasn't a huge deal.

"It's gross though." She mumbled.

"It happens." He said back, as he placed the white plastic bag on her kitchen counter, filling some of the soup from the plastic container into a small bowl he had a bit of issues finding, before he heated it up in her microwave. He was absolutely terrified of using them usually, making her laugh at him every time someone brought it up, but this time he didn't care much. "Here, let me help." He hummed, as he placed the bowl and a spoon on the small coffee table in front of her couch, helping her sit up properly. "Slowly, okay? You don't need to finish it, just a bit at a time alright sugar?" He requested, and she nodded, watching him as he sat down next to her, bowl on his thigh while he blew on the spoon, careful to cool the liquid food down before offering it. She kept her eyes on his focused face as she opened her lips, accepting it as he gently smiled. "There we go. Hope it doesn't suck, Jin says I can't cook for shit." He said with a chuckle.

"Doesn't matter, I can't taste much anyways." She shrugged, as he offered another small spoonful.

He snorted a bit as he kept himself concentrated. "Well I guess I'll just have to get you better, and cook for you when your tastebuds work again." He decided, as she smiled.

"Huh?" He noticed, as the small form of her whizzed past him, practically throwing open the bathroom door before he heard her. He dried his hands, sighing as he went inside the bathroom, spotting her leaning over the toilet bowl, gripping it with pale hands. "Oh sugar." He hummed, before he squatted next to her, a comforting hand running over her back as the other gathered her hair, holding it away from her face. He hushed her the best he could, a bit of helplessness seeping into his mind as he watched her struggle. She leaned her head on the side of the bowl for a moment, breathing heavily with closed eyes. Jungkook reached for a piece of toilet paper, wiping her mouth before he continued his gentle caressing of her back. "Better?" He asked, and she nodded, before opening her eyes, tearing up. "Whats wrong?" He asked, as he helped her sit, flushing the toilet.

"I hate this." She said, angrily wiping her eyes.

"Everyone gets sick." He said with a slight smile, searching for toothpaste as he prepared everything for her to get the taste off of her tongue.

"Thats not what I meant." She mumbled, as he looked at her. "I hate that you see me like this. I'm disgusting and a walking piece of dead meat at this point, radiating germs." She huffed, as he went down in front of her, pointing her toothbrush at her lips as she opened them almost automatically. He smiled at her reaction, placing the brush inside her mouth as she took over, lazily brushing her teeth.

"I think you're still pretty." He said, as she looked at him with an unamused look in her eyes. "I feel good that you let me take care of you like this. It feels nice that you let me see you like that." He explained, as he helped her up to walk towards the sink, turning on the water as she rinsed her mouth. "I don't like you any less, of you're worried about that." He said, and she almost choked on the water inside her mouth.

She knew he liked her, romantically, yet he'd never openly said it.

"I know its a bit sudden, but I've been pretty obvious." He said, as he wiped her mouth with a towel, before smiling at her.

"If I wasn't sick right now I'd be all cliche and kiss you right now, but I can't." She said, pouting a bit as he chuckled, kissing his two fingers before placing them onto her lips.

"Indirect kiss then."

"Okay but espresso is absolutely disgusting." She said, leaning over the counter to grab a mini cookie, before yelping as Jungkook playfully slapped her hands.

"Everyone can decide for themselves, first of all, and stop stealing shit." He said as he pointed at her, gasping scandalized as she teasingly tried to bite his finger. "Really now?" He asked, and she laughed.

"Okay kids, be disgusting somewhere else please!" Seokjin yelled, grabbing Jungkook by his apron as he pushed him into the backroom, telling him to change and go home. "Yoongi and I will close up today." He said to the young girl waiting, as she nodded.

"Alright sugar, lets go and be disgusting!" Jungkook exclaimed as he emerged from the backroom, now dressed in familiar all black attire, as he scooped her up, making her laugh as they both walked out of the cafe, towards his car.

"I want you to move in with me." He said between huffs of breaths as she mewled underneath him, body shaking with every encounter with his thrusting hips. She nodded as she smiled when he leaned down to kiss her collarbone, hand running over her breasts as he teasingly pinched a nipple between his fingers.

"You'll- urgh-" She groaned, as he bit the skin. "You'll have to carry my shit though." She pressed out, as he laughed at that, leaning back as he expertly angled his hips to hit her sweet spot deep inside, making her arch her back.

"Ah- that's fine with m..me!" He stuttered as he began to put more force into his movements, sacrificing speed for strength as she hummed in delight underneath him, grabbing the pillow above her head as she started to grow restless. "You gonna cum sugar? Nice and hard?" He asked playfully as he moved his hand over her exposed clit, fingers rubbing over the sensitive bundle of nerves as she gasped in pleasure, thighs suddenly shaking as she came, clenching around him. "Hm, good girl." He hummed, before she huffed, suddenly squirming before she squealed, wetness escaping her as he chuckled, sight enough to send him over the edge as well. "There we go, giving me a show aren't you sugar?" He said, voice hoarse as he let himself lean over her again, before she suddenly grinned up at him, pulling him down and shoving a bit to get him to lay down, suddenly above him as she sunk down on his still sensitive cock.

He laghed and choked up as she continued to ride him, her own second orgasm approaching as he squeezed his eyes shut. "God- good god ah!" He yelled out between laughter at the way he could feel his own legs tremble, unsure if what he was feeling was torture of absolute heaven. "Pl-Please God, Baby you're-" He pressed out, gasping as he suddenly felt himself close to a second orgasm as well. "You're gonna kill me you fucking demon!" He exclaimed, roughly turning her around as he pulled her legs against her stomach again, thrusting with newfound strength, as she giggled and squealed. "That's what you wanted?" He asked between gritted teeth as she pressed her eyes close. "Little demon can't get enough of this dick?" He teased as she nodded, now desperately racing towards her release as he suddenly slipped out of her, adjusting the condom with a trembling hand as he manhandles her laughing body onto her stomach, pulling on her lower half as he slipped inside her wet cunt from behind, bringing his inked hand down onto her butt with a loud slap for good measure as she whined. "Oh now you're complaining? Should've known what-" He groaned out in between his words as he grabbed her thighs, pulling her against his relentless hips as she moaned out into the pillow below her. "-Should've know what you got yourself into." He finished, before she arched her back again, reaching behind her to push him off as her eyes teared up from overstimulation. As he saw her painful expression he immediately pulled out of her, pulling the condom off of his erection as he desperately pumped his length, finishing in small spurts on the arch of her back before they both collapsed, breathing heavily.

"Okay, I loved every second of it sugar but-" He exclaimed breathless, as she cuddled up next to him, throwing a leg over his body as he laughed. "What the fuck was that?"

But she simply giggled, mind still too hazy to form any words.

[maybe-your-left]

Pst pst pst. I think my first ask got deleted when you tried to do something XD anyways, some blurb/hc on how the boys treats us/spoils us? I could use some fluff now :<

Special Treatment yooooo... 

Clyde Logan: Big Daddy treats y’ somethin’ good... if you didn’t know, Clyde is a bit of a sugar-fiend. he loves to take you out for a nice brunch, a fancy place by the river, with bottomless mimosas and sweet treats you can’t get enough of. gets some sugary syrup on your lips, he will gladly lick it off while you nuzzle into one another. lots of sweet pastries-cakes-muffins-creampies. 

Charlie Barber: everything is art, a performance. everything Charlie does has its purpose in his artistic vision, including anything he does for you. when he sees you feeling down, he loves to book the two of you art classes. letting you recharge and retreat back to your roots. watercolor-acrylic-body painting-pottery-silent hours-anything that gets the creative juices flowing for the both of you when you’re in a funk. 

Jamie Massey: much like Charlie, his revolve around a getaway for the senses. of course-it will be filmed, it is Jamie. something he clings to from his marriage to Darby is purging the soul every once in a while. for the both of you to reconnect as one-he books you a trip. complete with a tent, blanket, some guitars, and plenty of natures sweet treats. (drugs, he takes you on Acid trips guys)

Rick Smolan: unfortunately, he's away so much. so to make it up to you when you’re feeling down, Rick takes you on vacation! yes, its somewhere he’s been before. but he doesn’t care because he’s there for pleasure. not work, your favorite spot right now is Everest, its taken a few months of preparation but the two of you are determined to make it to the top. sharing the moment of pure-euphoria and human spirit together, thats how he spoils you rotten. 

Kylo Ren (Triplet AU): he doesn’t trust women, or men, or animals, or the sky, and definitely doesn’t trust gift giving. if someone tries to give him something that means horrible things are going to happen, so he buys nothing for people. the few times he’s given gifts, they’ve backfired on him. who knew women didn’t like exotic reptiles in an unsuspecting basket? if he’s desperate, he will run to a jewelry store and slap down his credit card, barking at the person behind the counter what your favorite colors are and they throw back a bracelet or ring that he then gives you. usually he’s blushing profusely when he hands it over, saying that it’s not gonna hurt you. trying to push you away when you try and kiss him thank you-thank you-thank you once you’ve stopped crying over the diamonds. 

Ben Solo (Triplet AU): can you wear it? check. can he rip it off? check. bonus points if he can eat it too, most of his gifts are based around the four basic Benji needs: Food-Fucking-Frolicking-Frogs, the boy loves frogs. be prepared for horrible frog statues in your yard (like gnomes but-frog)

Matthew Organa-Solo (Triplet AU): he’s not as stupid as his brothers, doesn't have an aversion to gift giving and doesn’t make it all about sex. he wants to give you something that makes you smile, and he finds that when you’re together somewhere new it makes you feel better. so once a month, you and Matty pack the car and go on a road trip! you’re trying to make it to every National Park in America-complete with different kitchy gifts that make you both smile. 

Maurizio Gucci: Daddy filled up your credit card this morning, and got you a new baby-pink leather checkbook. anything you want, he gets it for you. exotic wines and cheeses, silks and furs, a brand new purse that hasn’t been on the runway yet. cars-mopeds-motorcycles, even though you don’t drive. Daddy doesn’t let you lift a finger. 

Phillip Altman: gifts are no fuckin’ sweat to this gremlin, he knows you inside and out. and what makes you the happiest? spending time with him babygirl, so the best thing he can do is spoil you with days of love making. pinning you to the mattress, lounge chair, couch, counter, hood of the Porsche. until your full of cum and drained of your tears. Oh! and he loves taking you to concerts, the way you get all giddy and squeal when he hands you tickets to your favorite band makes his heart hurt. 

Paterson: poetry, that reminds him solely of you and how you make him feel like a different man. flowers, farmers market trips, walking your pet cat together (he doesn’t want another dog), picnic’s in the park, and lots and lots of notes around the house from him so you know how much he loves you. 

Adam Sacker: buying gifts is a waste of time when he can do it himself, he can make some wood frame for a silly picture the two of you took at a carnival. or reinforce some furniture you’ve been complaining about, maybe even build a new canopy bed frame for you, stained and everything! being a handyman and a soft soul means he can do whatever and he still gets rewarded. 

Toby Grisoni: he doesn’t buy you ‘gifts’, instead he takes you on experiences. including you on his trips around the world for filming, he likes taking you dancing in the lavish cities you stay in, a bit of a hopeless romantic if he is feeling like it. and scarves, lots of scarves for you to tie him up with at the end of a long day. 

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Trattami crudele, papà.

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