At the beach this week and I found this shirt at the souvenir shop. HAD to buy it. Get up to the checkout and Kid4 has a volleyball. So we bought a Top Gun shirt. And. A. Volleyball…
I seriously could not look the clerk in the eye because I had no idea what my face was doing 🤦🏻♀️😂😂
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GEMS MY FRIEND SAID WATCHING TOP GUN (1986) FOR THE FIRST TIME:
"Look at those thighs! He's gotta be sitting on a dick, there ain't no way!" (about a random engineer in the opening sequence)
"This guy is too handsome to be a rando" (it was, indeed, a rando)
"Fifteen minutes in and I have no idea who the protagonist is." "Do you know what Tom Cruise looks like?" ".... No."
*Thought Cougar was gonna be the protagonist, was confused as hell when he left*
"The baldo is boring, but I think were gonna keep seeing him throughout the movie." "No, we're not." "We're not? Oh, thank god."
"Whoop, spotted the gay one. That wasn't even hard."
"That guy (Chipper) looks russian." "Nope." "No? What about that one (Slider)?" "It's the middle of the Cold War." "..... So?"
"A gay couple already? Wow."
"The blondie is trying to flirt while the other one is too concentrated on the rivalry."
"OH HELL NAH."
"Every old movie just feels the need for random straight romance– OH SHIT THAT'S HER? HE'S SO FUCKED." (In the scene where Charlie is 'officially' introduced)
"HOLD UP!" *Rewinds the scene* "What kind of flirting is that?" *Plays the scene again* "Did he just... Chomp? At him?"
"He has chemistry with her, but she doesn't want any chemistry with him. I mean, I can see she's attracted to him, but I think she just wants a quick lay." (Repeated this Every. Single. Time. Maverick and Charlie had a scene together.)
"Ah yes, the hetero scene that actually looks really gay." Later, remembering the scene: "How the fuck are you gonna play sports looking like a hot piece of ass without looking gay? You're not supposed to be hot! You're supposed to slap that fucking ball, not be like 'hahaha look at me, I'm so dainty and pretty.' THAT'S GAY!"
"It's cute, Goose treats him like a father would." "Don't you mean an older brother?" "No, he's too gentle for that. They'd be killing each other."
"See, Goose's wife treats him like an older sister would. By annoying him."
Charlie, on screen: "(...) Because I've fallen in love with you." "NO YOU FUCKING HAVEN'T, SHE'S JUST SAYING THAT FOR HIM TO STAY! SHE'S JUST SAYING WHAT HE WANTS TO HEAR TO KEEP HIM THERE!"
*Loud disgruntled noises I could hear from the kitchen over the sex scene*
"That's the one with the hard on!"
"I want more scenes of the blondie (Ice) and Maverick, I don't care about fucking planes."
"Did he die? Oh, no he's fine, the chute is there. Wait, he did die? NO!"
"Did he really need to be in his underwear for this conversation?"
"How cute, he's worried about Mavericks mental health. Shit."
*Screams*
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT? SHE LEFT YOU AFTER YOUR BEST FRIEND DIED!" "And put on a song that reminds him of his parents." "AND PUT ON A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR DEAD PARENTS!"
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