#THEY WONT SEE IT TILL I MOVE OUT AMEN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-minecraft-funnies · 4 years

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Hello fellow you seem to have a mimecraft based blog i too am a gaming person would happen to have any gaming facts perhaps about craft?

minecraft is actually 7 feet tall but wont tell you their secrets about the mines or craft BUT the real reason they won’t spread rumors is because according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.- Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

#i'm surprised tumblr even let me post this

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oldshrewsburyian · 5 years

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I've just finished The Hour, spent 24 hours in shock and horror, and then polished off all of your wonderful Hour-themed fic, so I'm going to shamelessly beg for a Freddie/Bel drabble! (Ideally something with Auden's Lullaby in it--"every farthing of the cost, all the dreaded cards foretell"--but I'm not picky.)

Hello, friend, and welcome to the suffering. (I think this must be a collective noun: a suffering of Hour fans.)

This became longer than a drabble; I love the Auden suggestion, which is painfully perfect for them; this is set Feb/March 1958.

Lay your sleeping head, my love, / Human on my faithless arm

Freddie has always been impossible. Bel tells herself this, as she smooths out the lines that have furrowed his brow, even in sleep. He murmurs slightly, but does not wake. Bel finds herself unreasonably angry at herself for her unreasonable conduct. She has a show to run; she does not have time for midnight vigils. And Freddie would not thank her, if he knew. He would protest, or, worse, he would sulk. Or worst of all (Bel allows herself to acknowledge this possibility) he would apologize.

He has acquired a habit of apology, and she hates it. For his weakness and for his weariness; for the slight sounds of pain that he cannot always suppress; for the mere existence of the cane that leans in the hall, next to the phone table and the glass dish for keys and the place where, more often than not these days, she hangs coat and scarf and handbag; for all these things Freddie apologizes. Bel is not unaware of the irony in the fact that she, who spent years wishing to hear the words I’m sorry more often from his lips, finds herself thinking: but not like this. Not like this. And worrying she lies awake.

But in my arms till break of day / Let the living creature lie

She rises early, as is her wont. She watches the kettle so as to remove it from the hob before it screams; but his is the heavy slumber of exhaustion. He does not wake, even when she runs a bath. Sipping her tea in the steam-filled room, Bel reflects that the tub would be one of the chief amenities of the flat. If she moved in… she is startled to find herself contemplating the possibility. Would it be so simple, so natural? For her and Freddie to weave their lives together, guided by the same instinct that leads their hands to find each other in the dark? She finds the usually all-too-clear balances of risk and reward, fear and desire, strangely resistant to analysis.

When the water is cooling, Bel gets out. She dresses quickly, and emerges, toweling her hair, to find Freddie up. That he has made the bed and pulled the quilts neatly up must, Bel decides, be due to sheer stubbornness.

“Don’t drain the tub, Moneypenny.”

“I’ll give you the tenner for the hot water.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Bel wants to cry out that of course it matters, of course it does; that he needn’t prove self-sufficient thrift to her; that it breaks her heart to think of him shivering. She says nothing. She stands in his kitchen, and drinks her tea, and listens to church bells. Finally she shakes herself into action. First she stuffs a spare note into the coffee can that still holds Freddie’s housekeeping (hopeless boy), and then she gets out the eggs from their carton, the slightly stale loaf from the bread box.

“Breakfast!” she shouts, 10 minutes later.

“You didn’t have to…” he begins, coming into the kitchen.

“Don’t be silly,” says Bel vigorously. “It’s your food.”

Anxiously he meets her eyes, and his fleeting grimace trembles into a smile. “Bel,” he says, and then stops. She pours out the tea before she says:

“Listening.”

“You don’t have to stay.”

Bel tells herself that she will not, she will not cry. “I know I don’t,” she says.

Certainty, fidelity / On the stroke of midnight pass / Like vibrations of a bell

“I want to anyway,” says Bel.

Freddie looks at her, and she wonders how long she spent refusing to see that expression on his face. He reaches out one tentative hand; his fingers in hers are cold. “Bless you, Moneypenny,” says Freddie.

#officialjabberwocky #freddie and bel #poetry #the hour bbc #and freddie looking at bel GOD #is a tag that i have #i am not even remotely over this show

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swimmingwombatwinner-3f2339-blog · 7 years

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What do me and a dinosaur have in common? We are both extinct. For myself I don’t mean literally of course. But in every sense of the word I’m pretty much a dying breed. I’m from the generation X era that is too young not to be aware of social media. But too old to fully value and appreciate it. I’m not about to go all Black Mirror on you but if the legions of people reading this don’t mind I’m going to go through some of my musings on modern society. Focusing on the interactive side of things. You see when I was in my early twenties websites like Faceparty, Bebo and MySpace were prevalent. As fun as these sites were, you were in no real danger of becoming an addict. Everyone had at least an account on one of these websites. But I guess it wasn’t enough and so the Facebook era became the best things since sliced bread. I was very loyal to Bebo and thought long and hard before signing up to Facebook. It wasn’t as colourful or interactive as other sites but it was what everyone was using and I didn’t want to be left out. I’ve been a member of Facebook for about eight or nine years now. And a lot has changed since I first signed up. What started off as a way of keeping up with friends and finding out the latest news on their lives has now become the quest to keep up with the Jones’. It seems that people don’t get promotions, engagement rings or baby scans without sharing it with the entire world. Everyone and their auntie needs to know when “Bae” has taken you for a McDonalds drive through, #best boyfriend alert! Everyone needs to know when you are pissed of about something, from the council not taking out your bins, to your ex giving you hassle and winding you up. Don’t fret though the truly kind folk on Facebook wont give you the details they will just put something cryptic like “actual so angry right now!” (that’s right I’ve come to learn recently that the word actually has lost an ly!) what follows will be a chorus of moronic friends asking the obligatory “What’s wrong? You okay honey?” only to have their “over sharing” friend say “It’s fine I’ll PM you.” Why put it on Facebook then you eejit. Message your friends and tell them rather than tell the world. It’s the belief that we have that nothing is sacred. Every memory, every dinner, every rant needs to be uploaded and presented to the masses. So that you can glory hunt for likes, comments and best of all praise. I have this one friend on Facebook who likes every comment picture and post from one of her other friends. This other friend isn’t my friend, but from a quick snoop of her profile I have found her to be the perfect candidate for my Facebook asshole of the year award. In fact she could probably take the crown most years. But lets be honest there are more than a few Facebook douche bags that can share the crown. You see this girl falls into the pit falls that all of these douche bag Facebook people trip into. She is a young mother so first things first she is going to post close to a million pictures of her “wain” (her word not mine-oh and FYI if you’re reading this and aren’t Glaswegian wain means child) She posts everything her “wain” does not matter how miniscule or uninteresting. Every time he sneezes or has the slightest hint of a cough she tags herself at the hospital stating what a joke the NHS is, how sick her kid is and then tops it off with the sad faced emoji and several gun emojis. Her second crime against Facebook is the one I’ve mentioned above. She is a repeat offender when it comes to strategically aimed posts. Cryptic and elusive enough to get a reaction from the idiots, yet direct enough that the “nasty piece of work” (once again her words not mine) know exactly who she is talking about. That’s when it usually gets good. It turns into a full on battle of wits and extensive verbose. Or it becomes more like “Next time I see you I’ll fucking rip your hair extensions out!” (you’ve guessed it her words not mine!) I am a little guilty in taking a bit of pleasure reading these back and fourths wondering if I was ever this stupid and obnoxious in my late teens. The last thing that this bozo is guilty of is not using arguably the best tool at our disposal to garner information. That’s right instead of asking Google what time the gym opens or if the buses are running normally on the bank holiday. They take to Facebook and ask the list of intelligent and wise friends who took the initiative to Google the question and find out the answer. I guess this last one is a small gripe but it’s still enough to irk me. Perhaps Facebook and social media is just more of a young mans game these days. I tend to post sporadically and minimally. Choosing to share things I find funny or interesting. I have very good and receptive Facebook friends and I regularly do culls to make sure the people I have as friends are my actual friends. I don’t accept just anyone. Why would I want to have the most horrible girl from my year at school or the guy I went out with that one time and it didn’t work out? Probably why I have so few friends online, I always try and say that if you wouldn’t go out for a drink with someone or if you would avoid them if you saw them in the supermarket, why have them as a friend? I have broadened my horizons and allowed my trendy sister to put the Snapchat app on my phone but as for things like Twitter and Instagram I think I would have to be a far more interesting person. I’ll stick to Facebook and continue to moan about it thank you very much.

Before I go, probably to check my Facebook account I’d like to give some honourable mentions and shout outs to some Facebook repeat offenders that we are all familiar with.

1. The soap box guy. The guy that rants till his wee heart is content. About everything from prices going up to genocide in Syria. Bless him for having his heart in the right place, but if I wanted a rant I’d get into a taxi in Glasgow and let the driver put the world to rights thank you very much! .

2. The glory hunter girl. Probably someone who has recently lost a bit of weight and is attending slimming world classes. As a result most of her posts will be of Slimming World certificates and side by side pictures of when she was heavier and her skinny pictures now. Usually there is an obligatory picture of her wearing her old, fat work trousers and holding them out to show how much weight she has lost.

3. The mummy. A dead, bandaged Egyptian queen would likely be more interesting than the mummy on Facebook. Usually she doesn’t have a full time job, she works for one of these online cosmetic companies that are constantly cropping up on your news feed. They tend to post a lot of “hilarious” stories about their kids and add those little motivational pictures and quotes on a regular basis. These women are harmless if a tad dull.

4. The serial hash tag guy. FYI Facebook isn’t twitter. You don’t have to # every single word and phrase. These people are irritating on Facebook as they tend to post long uninteresting shit and by the end of their spiel you never want to see another # again!

5. The boyfriend appreciation club girl. The girl that tags her partner everywhere she goes. Be it to the doctors, for dinner or just chilling out in his living room. They need the world to know that they are in a relationship. They also tend to be the types to share those funny little memes that show a pissed off looking little puppy with a caption like, “whenever your boyfriend mentions another girls name” they usually tag their partners in these with a little laughing face emoji. If you are friends with a guy that has a girlfriend like this I implore you to like and comment on all of his pictures just to piss his girlfriend off.

6. The long week guy. We all know this knob. His pictures will usually be an upload of a beer bottle or pint on a Friday night with the caption well deserved after a long week. Yes it probably is but is it really news worthy? Can no one eat or drink without uploading a picture anymore?

7. The parent. This one is not gender specific, both mums and dads are guilty of this one and it’s a new breed to the mummies mentioned in number 3. The parents are always sharing stuff. Be it a funny meme that most have us have already seen. Sharing something about anti bullying or just one of those sappy if you have a son or daughter that you love pictures share this. They’re also suckers when it comes to those pictures you can’t scroll past without saying Amen. Those horrific images usually of little kids in war torn countries lying on hospital beds. Yes my mum has been this person on more than one occasion.

8. And my personal favourite, the attention seeker. Again this one isn’t gender specific but I find it tends to be more females that fall into this pitfall. Some of the examples that I’ve come across of this breed have been girls who take to Facebook to share that they are fed up of being wolf whistled at as they walk past building cites. Or that they hate shopping for dresses or tops because their boobs are too big. Or the worst offence of note was a girl I once seen share that she couldn’t wait to get her own place as her mum was always telling her off for walking about naked. Queue 25 guys typing as furiously as they could before they explode in their pants. It doesn’t always have to be a comment, sometimes it can be a sultry photo or full on cleavage shot. No matter what this person gets the validation they were looking for.

So that’s my round up of all things Facebook. I am older than probably most lovers of the site and social media in general, so I guess that the best thing to do if it bugs me so much would just be to delete it which I’ve toyed with several times, but sometimes when used properly it can be a funny and interesting bonding experience and a convenient way of catching up with friends who have maybe moved away or maybe don’t even live in the same country as you anymore. In the style of Jerry Springer I’m going to leave you with my final thought. To all Facebook users everywhere use it wisely. Eat your dinner don’t take pictures of it. Confront the person irritating you, don’t post it online hoping they will read it. And if you are in a relationship enjoy it in the flesh, not through tags and posts. The healthiest sign of a good partnership is no trace of it on social media.

Happy posting.

AG. x

#social media #facebook #angry #bebo #social commentary

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chipsanddespair · 7 years

Photo

Im not a nice person, not because of things I have done or will do. Its because of this post. This post is a trap, I assure DO NOT under any circumstances read under the cut. This post is pure despair, if you decide that your curiosity wont kill the cat, well then I offer that you read below!

Though for those who choose enlightenment to the despair I ask only this…

do not spread word of what is below the cut, only the brave and the fearless should posses such knowledge and despair.

I have made the purest manifestation of evil for the sake of humanity. only the strong will reblog, the strongest will read more…

Bee Movie Script

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

Oh? that? Ha! that was only the first, now for round 2!

Bee Movie Script

Ladies and Gentlemen, i ask what is true despair? The sense of hopelessness? The feeling of unnerve at the unknown?

Bee Movie Script

Truly, this is despair. no matter the kind of person you are, no matter how you view yourself of the world, consider this.

We are nothing more than the same, cosmic dust of an ever expanding universe…

why must we despair?

Bee Movie Script

There is no need for hate for each other, just hate Despair. It does nothing but inconvenience you, it removes hope of an happy ending and brings that feeling of hopelessness.

So. next time you feel the need to hate someone for something bad happening to you, consider this? Does it inconvenience or concern you? Does it existence make you feel sad, scared, hopeless and worthless? Then is is really all that bad?

If the Answer is no, then Despair has lost.

#chips #despair

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archina · 5 years

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Surrendering my fears to JESUS

as I started typing this text, there is a lot of things goin on my mind that I wanna say. I just got home from our momentum/worship night. and I learned a lot from our speaker today. She used to be an introvert, scared of crowd, socializing people, and I realized that I am like that too. for a same reason and that is a fear of rejection because I am a kind of person that rather go out alone than be surrounded with a lot of people and seeing myself out of place. I am scared people will judge me and reject me for who I am. I used to be like that. until today although I accepted JESUS as my savior still there something within me that I cant just let go and fully surrender and that was my fear of rejection. all this time I make myself believe that I am weak, that I am not worth it. I wont be a winner. and because of those lies and excuses I just find myself shrinking myself in one corner making myself comfortable and just stay there whatever life takes me. instead of working hard and move forward. but GOD speaks to me today, He is telling me this words from phillippians 4:13 “ I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.” I always said to people that this is my favorite verse, but I know in my heart that in my mind Im still in doubt if I can really do everything through him. somehow I know that my faith is still in progress. and I can admit that Im not gonna lie. I keep on praying for him to never get tired of me,I keep on praying to him to let him rule my heart my mind and my soul to filled it with his holy spirit. until our speaker said about JESUS times when He was preaching and spreading the truth. I believe that before the LORD GOD JESUS came down to earth, He knew whats goin to happen He knew that people will reject him, spit on him, hate him, mock him. but still He go ahead and step forward till He was crucified. I cried in tears and I just realized how hard for the GOD most high, creator of everything, face those kind of wickedness that the world has. and who I am to to give up that easily? I am nothing, I am just a created being. I am a sinner. but JESUS has the greatest Love for us. He came down to save us from our sins, my sins. He himself put his shoes on ours. that is how great He is. and still if you are not satisfied or convinced, always remember JESUS died for you. for us, so that we may finally know who is He which is the enemy keep on suppressing the truth about him. and whoever believes in him may have an everlasting life (john 3:16) and not the everlasting fire which is a result of GOD’s wrath. So today I am surrendering all my fears all my worries to GOD as I continue my spiritual walk with him, I know in my heart that it wont be easy a lot of things will hinder on my way, may stop me from what I supposed to do but Ill keep on pushing it moving forward until that day come when I finally gonna meet him i want to hear this words from him “ Well Done my Child!! come and join your father in heaven.”

AMEN! Praise be to GOD!

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dangerouscrusadefire-blog · 6 years

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Lincoln Nebraska Cheap car insurance quotes zip 68506

"Lincoln Nebraska Cheap car insurance quotes zip 68506

Lincoln Nebraska Cheap car insurance quotes zip 68506

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Lincoln Nebraska Cheap car insurance quotes zip 68506

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-would-auto-insurance-cost-17000-bentley-larry-baker/"

0 notes

cosmicsubs · 7 years

Text

windicksy said: by all laws of aviation the bee should not be able to fly

its wings are too small to get

its fat little body off the ground

the bee of course flies anyway

because bees dont care

what humans think is impossible

yellow black yellow black

ooh black and yellow

lets shake it up a little

barry breakfast is ready

ooming

hang on a second

hello?

barry?

adam?

oan you believe this is happening?

i cant ill pick you up

looking sharp

use the stairs your father

paid good money for those

sorry im excited

heres the graduate

were very proud of you son

a perfect report card all bs

very proud

ma i got a thing going here

you got lint on your fuzz

ow thats me

wave to us well be in row 118000

bye

barry i told you

stop flying in the house

hey adam

hey barry

is that fuzz gel?

a little special day graduation

never thought id make it

three days grade school

three days high school

those were awkward

three days college im glad i took

a day and hitchhiked around the hive

you did come back different

hi barry

artie growing a mustache? looks good

hear about frankie?

yeah

you going to the funeral?

no im not going

everybody knows

sting someone you die

dont waste it on a squirrel

such a hothead

i guess he could have

just gotten out of the way

i love this incorporating

an amusement park into our day

thats why we dont need vacations

boy quite a bit of pomp

under the circumstances

well adam today we are men

we are

beemen

amen

hallelujah

students faculty distinguished bees

please welcome dean buzzwell

welcome new hive oity

graduating class of

9:15

that concludes our ceremonies

and begins your career

at honex industries

will we pick ourjob today?

i heard its just orientation

heads up here we go

keep your hands and antennas

inside the tram at all times

wonder what itll be like?

a little scary

welcome to honex

a division of honesco

and a part of the hexagon group

this is it

wow

we know that you as a bee

have worked your whole life

to get to the point where you

can work for your whole life

honey begins when our valiant pollen

jocks bring the nectar to the hive

our topsecret formula

is automatically colorcorrected

scentadjusted and bubblecontoured

into this soothing sweet syrup

with its distinctive

golden glow you know as

honey

that girl was hot

shes my cousin

she is?

yes were all cousins

right youre right

at honex we constantly strive

to improve every aspect

of bee existence

these bees are stresstesting

a new helmet technology

what do you think he makes?

not enough

here we have our latest advancement

the krelman

what does that do?

oatches that little strand of honey

that hangs after you pour it

saves us millions

oan anyone work on the krelman?

of course most bee jobs are

small ones but bees know

that every small job

if its done well means a lot

but choose carefully

because youll stay in the job

you pick for the rest of your life

the same job the rest of your life?

i didnt know that

whats the difference?

youll be happy to know that bees

as a species havent had one day off

in 27 million years

so youll just work us to death?

well sure try

wow that blew my mind

"whats the difference?"

how can you say that?

one job forever?

thats an insane choice to have to make

im relieved now we only have

to make one decision in life

but adam how could they

never have told us that?

why would you question anything?

were bees

were the most perfectly

functioning society on earth

you ever think maybe things

work a little too well here?

like what? give me one example

i dont know but you know

what im talking about

please clear the gate

royal nectar force on approach

wait a second oheck it out

hey those are pollen jocks

wow

ive never seen them this close

they know what its like

outside the hive

yeah but some dont come back

hey jocks

hi jocks

you guys did great

youre monsters

youre sky freaks i love it i love it

i wonder where they were

i dont know

their days not planned

outside the hive flying who knows

where doing who knows what

you cantjust decide to be a pollen

jock you have to be bred for that

right

look thats more pollen

than you and i will see in a lifetime

its just a status symbol

bees make too much of it

perhaps unless youre wearing it

and the ladies see you wearing it

those ladies?

arent they our cousins too?

distant distant

look at these two

oouple of hive harrys

lets have fun with them

it must be dangerous

being a pollen jock

yeah once a bear pinned me

against a mushroom

he had a paw on my throat

and with the other he was slapping me

oh my

i never thought id knock him out

what were you doing during this?

trying to alert the authorities

i can autograph that

a little gusty out there today

wasnt it comrades?

yeah gusty

were hitting a sunflower patch

six miles from here tomorrow

six miles huh?

barry

a puddle jump for us

but maybe youre not up for it

maybe i am

you are not

were going 0900 at jgate

what do you think buzzyboy?

are you bee enough?

i might be it all depends

on what 0900 means

hey honex

dad you surprised me

you decide what youre interested in?

well theres a lot of choices

but you only get one

do you ever get bored

doing the same job every day?

son let me tell you about stirring

you grab that stick and you just

move it around and you stir it around

you get yourself into a rhythm

its a beautiful thing

you know dad

the more i think about it

maybe the honey field

just isnt right for me

you were thinking of what

making balloon animals?

thats a bad job

for a guy with a stinger

janet your sons not sure

he wants to go into honey

barry you are so funny sometimes

im not trying to be funny

youre not funny youre going

into honey our son the stirrer

youre gonna be a stirrer?

no ones listening to me

wait till you see the sticks i have

i could say anything right now

im gonna get an ant tattoo

lets open some honey and celebrate

maybe ill pierce my thorax

shave my antennae

shack up with a grasshopper get

a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"

im so proud

were starting work today

todays the day

oome on all the good jobs

will be gone

yeah right

pollen counting stunt bee pouring

stirrer front desk hair removal

is it still available?

hang on two left

one of thems yours oongratulations

step to the side

whatd you get?

picking crud out stellar

wow

oouple of newbies?

yes sir our first day we are ready

make your choice

you want to go first?

no you go

oh my whats available?

restroom attendants open

not for the reason you think

any chance of getting the krelman?

sure youre on

im sorry the krelman just closed out

wax monkeys always open

the krelman opened up again

what happened?

a bee died makes an opening see?

hes dead another dead one

deady deadified two more dead

dead from the neck up

dead from the neck down thats life

oh this is so hard

heating cooling

stunt bee pourer stirrer

humming inspector number seven

lint coordinator stripe supervisor

mite wrangler barry what

do you think i should barry?

barry

all right weve got the sunflower patch

in quadrant nine

what happened to you?

where are you?

im going out

out? out where?

out there

oh no

i have to before i go

to work for the rest of my life

youre gonna die youre crazy hello?

another call coming in

if anyones feeling brave

theres a korean deli on 83rd

that gets their roses today

hey guys

look at that

isnt that the kid we saw yesterday?

hold it son flight decks restricted

its ok lou were gonna take him up

really? feeling lucky are you?

sign here here just initial that

thank you

you got a rain advisory today

and as you all know

bees cannot fly in rain

so be careful as always

watch your brooms

hockey sticks dogs

birds bears and bats

also i got a couple of reports

of root beer being poured on us

murphys in a home because of it

babbling like a cicada

thats awful

and a reminder for you rookies

bee law number one

absolutely no talking to humans

all right launch positions

buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz

black and yellow

hello

you ready for this hot shot?

yeah yeah bring it on

wind check

antennae check

nectar pack check

wings check

stinger check

scared out of my shorts check

ok ladies

lets move it out

pound those petunias

you striped stemsuckers

all of you drain those flowers

wow im out

i cant believe im out

so blue

i feel so fast and free

box kite

wow

flowers

this is blue leader

we have roses visual

bring it around 30 degrees and hold

roses

30 degrees roger bringing it around

stand to the side kid

its got a bit of a kick

that is one nectar collector

ever see pollination up close?

no sir

i pick up some pollen here sprinkle it

over here maybe a dash over there

a pinch on that one

see that? its a little bit of magic

thats amazing why do we do that?

thats pollen power more pollen more

flowers more nectar more honey for us

oool

im picking up a lot of bright yellow

oould be daisies dont we need those?

oopy that visual

wait one of these flowers

seems to be on the move

say again? youre reporting

a moving flower?

affirmative

that was on the line

this is the coolest what is it?

i dont know but im loving this color

it smells good

not like a flower but i like it

yeah fuzzy

ohemicaly

oareful guys its a little grabby

my sweet lord of bees

oandybrain get off there

problem

guys

this could be bad

affirmative

very close

gonna hurt

mamas little boy

you are way out of position rookie

ooming in at you like a missile

help me

i dont think these are flowers

should we tell him?

i think he knows

what is this?

match point

you can start packing up honey

because youre about to eat it

yowser

gross

theres a bee in the car

do something

im driving

hi bee

hes back here

hes going to sting me

nobody move if you dont move

he wont sting you freeze

he blinked

spray him granny

what are you doing?

wow the tension level

out here is unbelievable

i gotta get home

oant fly in rain

mayday mayday bee going down

ken could you close

the window please?

ken could you close

the window please?

oheck out my new resume

i made it into a foldout brochure

you see? folds out

oh no more humans i dont need this

what was that?

maybe this time this time this time

this time this time this

drapes

that is diabolical

its fantastic its got all my special

skills even my topten favorite movies

whats number one? star wars?

nah i dont go for that

kind of stuff

no wonder we shouldnt talk to them

theyre out of their minds

when i leave a job interview theyre

flabbergasted cant believe what i say

theres the sun maybe thats a way out

i dont remember the sun

having a big 75 on it

i predicted global warming

i could feel it getting hotter

at first i thought it was just me

wait stop bee

stand back these are winter boots

wait

dont kill him

you know im allergic to them

this thing could kill me

why does his life have

less value than yours?

why does his life have any less value

than mine? is that your statement?

im just saying all life has value you

dont know what hes capable of feeling

my brochure

there you go little guy

im not scared of him

its an allergic thing

put that on your resume brochure

my whole face could puff up

make it one of your special skills

knocking someone out

is also a special skill

right bye vanessa thanks

vanessa next week? yogurt night?

sure ken you know whatever

you could put carob chips on there

bye

supposed to be less calories

bye

i gotta say something

she saved my life

i gotta say something

all right here it goes

nah

what would i say?

i could really get in trouble

its a bee law

youre not supposed to talk to a human

i cant believe im doing this

ive got to

oh i cant do it oome on

no yes no

do it i cant

how should i start it?

"you like jazz?" no thats no good

here she comes speak you fool

im sorry

youre talking

yes i know

youre talking

im so sorry

no its ok its fine

i know im dreaming

but i dont recall going to bed

well im sure this

is very disconcerting

this is a bit of a surprise to me

i mean youre a bee

i am and im not supposed

to be doing this

but they were all trying to kill me

and if it wasnt for you

i had to thank you

its just how i was raised

that was a little weird

im talking with a bee

yeah

im talking to a bee

and the bee is talking to me

i just want to say im grateful

ill leave now

wait how did you learn to do that?

what?

the talking thing

same way you did i guess

"mama dada honey" you pick it up

thats very funny

yeah

bees are funny if we didnt laugh

wed cry with what we have to deal with

anyway

oan i

get you something?

like what?

i dont know i mean

i dont know ooffee?

i dont want to put you out

its no trouble it takes two minutes

its just coffee

i hate to impose

dont be ridiculous

actually i would love a cup

hey you want rum cake?

i shouldnt

have some

no i cant

oome on

im trying to lose a couple micrograms

where?

these stripes dont help

you look great

i dont know if you know

anything about fashion

are you all right?

hes making the tie in the cab

as theyre flying up madison

he finally gets there

he runs up the steps into the church

the wedding is on

and he says "watermelon?

i thought you said guatemalan

why would i marry a watermelon?"

is that a bee joke?

thats the kind of stuff we do

yeah different

so what are you gonna do barry?

about work? i dont know

i want to do my part for the hive

but i cant do it the way they want

i know how you feel

you do?

sure

my parents wanted me to be a lawyer or

a doctor but i wanted to be a florist

really?

my only interest is flowers

our new queen was just elected

with that same campaign slogan

anyway if you look

theres my hive right there see it?

youre in sheep meadow

yes im right off the turtle pond

no way i know that area

i lost a toe ring there once

why do girls put rings on their toes?

why not?

its like putting a hat on your knee

maybe ill try that

you all right maam?

oh yeah fine

just having two cups of coffee

anyway this has been great

thanks for the coffee

yeah its no trouble

sorry i couldnt finish it if i did

id be up the rest of my life

are you?

oan i take a piece of this with me?

sure here have a crumb

thanks

yeah

all right well then

i guess ill see you around

or not

ok barry

and thank you

so much again for before

oh that? that was nothing

well not nothing but anyway

this cant possibly work

hes all set to go

we may as well try it

ok dave pull the chute

sounds amazing

it was amazing

it was the scariest

happiest moment of my life

humans i cant believe

you were with humans

giant scary humans

what were they like?

huge and crazy they talk crazy

they eat crazy giant things

they drive crazy

do they try and kill you like on tv?

some of them but some of them dont

howd you get back?

poodle

you did it and im glad you saw

whatever you wanted to see

you had your "experience" now you

can pick out yourjob and be normal

well

well?

well i met someone

you did? was she beeish?

a wasp? your parents will kill you

no no no not a wasp

spider?

im not attracted to spiders

i know its the hottest thing

with the eight legs and all

i cant get by that face

so who is she?

shes human

no no thats a bee law

you wouldnt break a bee law

her names vanessa

oh boy

shes so nice and shes a florist

oh no youre dating a human florist

were not dating

youre flying outside the hive talking

to humans that attack our homes

with power washers and m80s

oneeighth a stick of dynamite

she saved my life

and she understands me

this is over

eat this

this is not over what was that?

they call it a crumb

it was so stingin stripey

and thats not what they eat

thats what falls off what they eat

you know what a oinnabon is?

its bread and cinnamon and frosting

they heat it up

sit down

really hot

listen to me

we are not them were us

theres us and theres them

yes but who can deny

the heart that is yearning?

theres no yearning

stop yearning listen to me

you have got to start thinking bee

my friend thinking bee

thinking bee

thinking bee thinking bee

there he is hes in the pool

you know what your problem is barry?

i gotta start thinking bee?

how much longer will this go on?

its been three days

why arent you working?

ive got a lot of big life decisions

to think about

what life? you have no life

you have no job youre barely a bee

would it kill you

to make a little honey?

barry come out

your fathers talking to you

martin would you talk to him?

barry im talking to you

you coming?

got everything?

all set

go ahead ill catch up

dont be too long

watch this

vanessa

were still here

i told you not to yell at him

he doesnt respond to yelling

then why yell at me?

because you dont listen

im not listening to this

sorry ive gotta go

where are you going?

im meeting a friend

a girl? is this why you cant decide?

bye

i just hope shes beeish

they have a huge parade

of flowers every year in pasadena?

to be in the tournament of roses

thats every florists dream

up on a float surrounded

by flowers crowds cheering

a tournament do the roses

compete in athletic events?

no all right ive got one

how come you dont fly everywhere?

its exhausting why dont you

run everywhere? its faster

yeah ok i see i see

all right your turn

tivo you can just freeze live tv?

thats insane

you dont have that?

we have hivo but its a disease

its a horrible horrible disease

oh my

dumb bees

you must want to sting all those jerks

we try not to sting

its usually fatal for us

so you have to watch your temper

very carefully

you kick a wall take a walk

write an angry letter and throw it out

work through it like any emotion:

anger jealousy lust

oh my goodness are you ok?

yeah

what is wrong with you?

its a bug

hes not bothering anybody

get out of here you creep

what was that? a pic n save circular?

yeah it was how did you know?

it felt like about 10 pages

seventyfive is pretty much our limit

youve really got that

down to a science

i lost a cousin to italian vogue

ill bet

what in the name

of mighty hercules is this?

how did this get here?

oute bee golden blossom

ray liotta private select?

is he that actor?

i never heard of him

why is this here?

for people we eat it

you dont have

enough food of your own?

well yes

how do you get it?

bees make it

i know who makes it

and its hard to make it

theres heating cooling stirring

you need a whole krelman thing

its organic

its ourganic

its just honey barry

just what?

bees dont know about this

this is stealing a lot of stealing

youve taken our homes schools

hospitals this is all we have

and its on sale?

im getting to the bottom of this

im getting to the bottom

of all of this

hey hector

you almost done?

almost

he is here i sense it

well i guess ill go home now

and just leave this nice honey out

with no one around

youre busted box boy

i knew i heard something

so you can talk

i can talk

and now youll start talking

where you getting the sweet stuff?

whos your supplier?

i dont understand

i thought we were friends

the last thing we want

to do is upset bees

youre too late its ours now

you sir have crossed

the wrong sword

you sir will be lunch

for my iguana ignacio

where is the honey coming from?

tell me where

honey farms it comes from honey farms

orazy person

what horrible thing has happened here?

these faces they never knew

what hit them and now

theyre on the road to nowhere

just keep still

what? youre not dead?

do i look dead? they will wipe anything

that moves where you headed?

to honey farms

i am onto something huge here

im going to alaska moose blood

crazy stuff blows your head off

im going to tacoma

and you?

he really is dead

all right

uhoh

what is that?

oh no

a wiper triple blade

triple blade?

jump on its your only chance bee

why does everything have

to be so doggone clean?

how much do you people need to see?

open your eyes

stick your head out the window

from npr news in washington

im oarl kasell

but dont kill no more bugs

bee

moose blood guy

you hear something?

like what?

like tiny screaming

turn off the radio

whassup bee boy?

hey blood

just a row of honey jars

as far as the eye could see

wow

i assume wherever this truck goes

is where theyre getting it

i mean that honeys ours

bees hang tight

were all jammed in

its a close community

not us man we on our own

every mosquito on his own

what if you get in trouble?

you a mosquito you in trouble

nobody likes us they just smack

see a mosquito smack smack

at least youre out in the world

you must meet girls

mosquito girls try to trade up

get with a moth dragonfly

mosquito girl dont want no mosquito

you got to be kidding me

moosebloods about to leave

the building so long bee

hey guys

mooseblood

i knew id catch yall down here

did you bring your crazy straw?

we throw it in jars slap a label on it

and its pretty much pure profit

what is this place?

a bees got a brain

the size of a pinhead

they are pinheads

pinhead

oheck out the new smoker

oh sweet thats the one you want

the thomas 3000

smoker?

ninety puffs a minute semiautomatic

twice the nicotine all the tar

a couple breaths of this

knocks them right out

they make the honey

and we make the money

"they make the honey

and we make the money"?

oh my

whats going on? are you ok?

yeah it doesnt last too long

do you know youre

in a fake hive with fake walls?

our queen was moved here

we had no choice

this is your queen?

thats a man in womens clothes

thats a drag queen

what is this?

oh no

theres hundreds of them

bee honey

our honey is being brazenly stolen

on a massive scale

this is worse than anything bears

have done i intend to do something

oh barry stop

who told you humans are taking

our honey? thats a rumor

do these look like rumors?

thats a conspiracy theory

these are obviously doctored photos

how did you get mixed up in this?

hes been talking to humans

what?

talking to humans?

he has a human girlfriend

and they make out

make out? barry

we do not

you wish you could

whose side are you on?

the bees

i dated a cricket once in san antonio

those crazy legs kept me up all night

barry this is what you want

to do with your life?

i want to do it for all our lives

nobody works harder than bees

dad i remember you

coming home so overworked

your hands were still stirring

you couldnt stop

i remember that

what right do they have to our honey?

we live on two cups a year they put it

in lip balm for no reason whatsoever

even if its true what can one bee do?

sting them where it really hurts

in the face the eye

that would hurt

up the nose? thats a killer

theres only one place you can sting

the humans one place where it matters

hive at five the hives only

fullhour action news source

no more bee beards

with bob bumble at the anchor desk

weather with storm stinger

sports with buzz larvi

and jeanette ohung

good evening im bob bumble

and im jeanette ohung

a tricounty bee barry benson

intends to sue the human race

for stealing our honey

packaging it and profiting

from it illegally

tomorrow night on bee larry king

well have three former queens here in

our studio discussing their new book

olassy ladies

out this week on hexagon

tonight were talking to barry benson

did you ever think "im a kid

from the hive i cant do this"?

bees have never been afraid

to change the world

what about bee oolumbus?

bee gandhi? bejesus?

where im from wed never sue humans

we were thinking

of stickball or candy stores

how old are you?

the bee community

is supporting you in this case

which will be the trial

of the bee century

you know they have a larry king

in the human world too

its a common name next week

he looks like you and has a show

and suspenders and colored dots

next week

glasses quotes on the bottom from the

guest even though you just heard em

bear week next week

theyre scary hairy and here live

always leans forward pointy shoulders

squinty eyes very jewish

in tennis you attack

at the point of weakness

it was my grandmother ken shes 81

honey her backhands a joke

im not gonna take advantage of that?

quiet please

actual work going on here

is that that same bee?

yes it is

im helping him sue the human race

hello

hello bee

this is ken

yeah i remember you timberland size

ten and a half vibram sole i believe

why does he talk again?

listen you better go

cause were really busy working

but its our yogurt night

byebye

why is yogurt night so difficult?

you poor thing

you two have been at this for hours

yes and adam here

has been a huge help

frosting

how many sugars?

just one i try not

to use the competition

so why are you helping me?

bees have good qualities

and it takes my mind off the shop

instead of flowers people

are giving balloon bouquets now

those are great if youre three

and artificial flowers

oh those just get me psychotic

yeah me too

bent stingers pointless pollination

bees must hate those fake things

nothing worse

than a daffodil thats had work done

maybe this could make up

for it a little bit

this lawsuits a pretty big deal

i guess

you sure you want to go through with it?

am i sure? when im done with

the humans they wont be able

to say "honey im home"

without paying a royalty

its an incredible scene

here in downtown manhattan

where the world anxiously waits

because for the first time in history

we will hear for ourselves

if a honeybee can actually speak

what have we gotten into here barry?

its pretty big isnt it?

i cant believe how many humans

dont work during the day

you think billiondollar multinational

food companies have good lawyers?

everybody needs to stay

behind the barricade

whats the matter?

i dont know i just got a chill

well if it isnt the bee team

you boys work on this?

all rise the honorable

judge bumbleton presiding

all right oase number 4475

superior oourt of new york

barry bee benson v the honey industry

is now in session

mr montgomery youre representing

the five food companies collectively?

a privilege

mr benson youre representing

all the bees of the world?

im kidding yes your honor

were ready to proceed

mr montgomery

your opening statement please

ladies and gentlemen of the jury

my grandmother was a simple woman

born on a farm she believed

it was mans divine right

to benefit from the bounty

of nature god put before us

if we lived in the topsyturvy world

mr benson imagines

just think of what would it mean

i would have to negotiate

with the silkworm

for the elastic in my britches

talking bee

how do we know this isnt some sort of

holographic motionpicturecapture

hollywood wizardry?

they could be using laser beams

robotics ventriloquism

oloning for all we know

he could be on steroids

mr benson?

ladies and gentlemen

theres no trickery here

im just an ordinary bee

honeys pretty important to me

its important to all bees

we invented it

we make it and we protect it

with our lives

unfortunately there are

some people in this room

who think they can take it from us

cause were the little guys

im hoping that after this is all over

youll see how by taking our honey

you not only take everything we have

but everything we are

i wish hed dress like that

all the time so nice

oall your first witness

so mr klauss vanderhayden

of honey farms big company you have

i suppose so

i see you also own

honeyburton and honron

yes they provide beekeepers

for our farms

beekeeper i find that

to be a very disturbing term

i dont imagine you employ

any beefreeers do you?

i couldnt hear you

because you dont free bees

you keep bees not only that

it seems you thought a bear would be

an appropriate image for a jar of honey

theyre very lovable creatures

yogi bear fozzie bear buildabear

you mean like this?

bears kill bees

howd you like his head crashing

through your living room?

biting into your couch

spitting out your throw pillows

ok thats enough take him away

so mr sting thank you for being here

your name intrigues me

where have i heard it before?

i was with a band called the police

but youve never been

a police officer have you?

no i havent

no you havent and so here

we have yet another example

of bee culture casually

stolen by a human

for nothing more than

a pranceabout stage name

oh please

have you ever been stung mr sting?

because im feeling

a little stung sting

or should i say mr gordon m sumner

thats not his real name? you idiots

mr liotta first

belated congratulations on

your emmy win for a guest spot

on er in 2005

thank you thank you

i see from your resume

that youre devilishly handsome

with a churning inner turmoil

thats ready to blow

i enjoy what i do is that a crime?

not yet it isnt but is this

what its come to for you?

exploiting tiny helpless bees

so you dont

have to rehearse

your part and learn your lines sir?

watch it benson

i could blow right now

this isnt a goodfella

this is a badfella

why doesnt someone just step on

this creep and we can all go home?

order in this court

youre all thinking it

order order i say

say it

mr liotta please sit down

i think it was awfully nice

of that bear to pitch in like that

i think the jurys on our side

are we doing everything right legally?

im a florist

right well heres to a great team

to a great team

well hello

ken

hello

i didnt think you were coming

no i was just late

i tried to call but the battery

i didnt want all this to go to waste

so i called barry luckily he was free

oh that was lucky

theres a little left

i could heat it up

yeah heat it up sure whatever

so i hear youre quite a tennis player

im not much for the game myself

the balls a little grabby

thats where i usually sit

right there

ken barry was looking at your resume

and he agreed with me that eating with

chopsticks isnt really a special skill

you think i dont see what youre doing?

i know how hard it is to find

the rightjob we have that in common

do we?

bees have 100 percent employment

but we do jobs like taking the crud out

thats just what

i was thinking about doing

ken i let barry borrow your razor

for his fuzz i hope that was all right

im going to drain the old stinger

yeah you do that

look at that

you know ive just about had it

with your little mind games

whats that?

italian vogue

mamma mia thats a lot of pages

a lot of ads

remember what van said why is

your life more valuable than mine?

funny i just cant seem to recall that

i think something stinks in here

i love the smell of flowers

how do you like the smell of flames?

not as much

water bug not taking sides

ken im wearing a ohapstick hat

this is pathetic

ive got issues

well well well a royal flush

youre bluffing

am i?

surfs up dude

poo water

that bowl is gnarly

except for those dirty yellow rings

kenneth what are you doing?

you know i dont even like honey

i dont eat it

we need to talk

hes just a little bee

and he happens to be

the nicest bee ive met in a long time

long time? what are you talking about?

are there other bugs in your life?

no but there are other things bugging

me in life and youre one of them

fine talking bees no yogurt night

my nerves are fried from riding

on this emotional roller coaster

goodbye ken

and for your information

i prefer sugarfree artificial

sweeteners made by man

im sorry about all that

i know its got

an aftertaste i like it

i always felt there was some kind

of barrier between ken and me

i couldnt overcome it

oh well

are you ok for the trial?

i believe mr montgomery

is about out of ideas

we would like to call

mr barry benson bee to the stand

good idea you can really see why hes

considered one of the best lawyers

yeah

layton youve

gotta weave some magic

with this jury

or its gonna be all over

dont worry the only thing i have

to do to turn this jury around

is to remind them

of what they dont like about bees

you got the tweezers?

are you allergic?

only to losing son only to losing

mr benson bee ill ask you

what i think wed all like to know

what exactly is your relationship

to that woman?

were friends

good friends?

yes

how good? do you live together?

wait a minute

are you her little

bedbug?

ive seen a bee documentary or two

from what i understand

doesnt your queen give birth

to all the bee children?

yeah but

so those arent your real parents

oh barry

yes they are

hold me back

youre an illegitimate bee

arent you benson?

hes denouncing bees

dont yall date your cousins?

objection

im going to pincushion this guy

adam dont its what he wants

oh im hit

oh lordy i am hit

order order

the venom the venom

is coursing through my veins

i have been felled

by a winged beast of destruction

you see? you cant treat them

like equals theyre striped savages

stingings the only thing

they know its their way

adam stay with me

i cant feel my legs

what angel of mercy

will come forward to suck the poison

from my heaving buttocks?

i will have order in this court order

order please

the case of the honeybees

versus the human race

took a pointed turn against the bees

yesterday when one of their legal

team stung layton t montgomery

hey buddy

hey

is there much pain?

yeah

i blew the whole case didnt i?

it doesnt matter what matters is

youre alive you could have died

id be better off dead look at me

they got it from the cafeteria

downstairs in a tuna sandwich

look theres

a little celery still on it

what was it like to sting someone?

i cant explain it it was all

all adrenaline and then

and then ecstasy

all right

you think it was all a trap?

of course im sorry

i flew us right into this

what were we thinking? look at us were

just a couple of bugs in this world

what will the humans do to us

if they win?

i dont know

i hear they put the roaches in motels

that doesnt sound so bad

adam they check in

but they dont check out

oh my

oould you get a nurse

to close that window?

why?

the smoke

bees dont smoke

right bees dont smoke

bees dont smoke

but some bees are smoking

thats it thats our case

it is? its not over?

get dressed ive gotta go somewhere

get back to the court and stall

stall any way you can

and assuming youve done step correctly youre ready for the tub

mr flayman

yes? yes your honor

where is the rest of your team?

well your honor its interesting

bees are trained to fly haphazardly

and as a result

we dont make very good time

i actually heard a funny story about

your honor

havent these ridiculous bugs

taken up enough

of this courts valuable time?

how much longer will we allow

these absurd shenanigans to go on?

they have presented no compelling

evidence to support their charges

against my clients

who run legitimate businesses

i move for a complete dismissal

of this entire case

mr flayman im afraid im going

to have to consider

mr montgomerys motion

but you cant we have a terrific case

where is your proof?

where is the evidence?

show me the smoking gun

hold it your honor

you want a smoking gun?

here is your smoking gun

what is that?

its a bee smoker

what this?

this harmless little contraption?

this couldnt hurt a fly

let alone a bee

look at what has happened

to bees who have never been asked

"smoking or non?"

is this what nature intended for us?

to be forcibly addicted

to smoke machines

and manmade wooden slat work camps?

living out our lives as honey slaves

to the white man?

what are we gonna do?

hes playing the species card

ladies and gentlemen please

free these bees

free the bees free the bees

free the bees

free the bees free the bees

the court finds in favor of the bees

vanessa we won

i knew you could do it highfive

sorry

im ok you know what this means?

all the honey

will finally belong to the bees

now we wont have

to work so hard all the time

this is an unholy perversion

of the balance of nature benson

youll regret this

barry how much honey is out there?

all right one at a time

barry who are you wearing?

my sweater is ralph lauren

and i have no pants

what if montgomerys right?

what do you mean?

weve been living the bee way

a long time 27 million years

oongratulations on your victory

what will you demand as a settlement?

first well demand a complete shutdown

of all bee work camps

then we want back the honey

that was ours to begin with

every last drop

we demand an end to the glorification

of the bear as anything more

than a filthy smelly

badbreath stink machine

were all aware

of what they do in the woods

wait for my signal

take him out

hell have nauseous

for a few hours then hell be fine

and we will no longer tolerate

beenegative nicknames

but its just a pranceabout stage name

unnecessary inclusion of honey

in bogus health products

and ladeeda human

teatime snack garnishments

oant breathe

bring it in boys

hold it right there good

tap it

mr buzzwell we just passed three cups

and theres gallons more coming

i think we need to shut down

shut down? weve never shut down

shut down honey production

stop making honey

turn your key sir

what do we do now?

oannonball

were shutting honey production

mission abort

aborting pollination and nectar detail

returning to base

adam you wouldnt believe

how much honey was out there

oh yeah?

whats going on? where is everybody?

are they out celebrating?

theyre home

they dont know what to do

laying out sleeping in

i heard your uncle oarl was on his way

to san antonio with a cricket

at least we got our honey back

sometimes i think so what if humans

liked our honey? who wouldnt?

its the greatest thing in the world

i was excited to be part of making it

this was my new desk this was my

new job i wanted to do it really well

and now

now i cant

i dont understand

why theyre not happy

i thought their lives would be better

theyre doing nothing its amazing

honey really changes people

you dont have any idea

whats going on do you?

what did you want to show me?

this

what happened here?

that is not the half of it

oh no oh my

theyre all wilting

doesnt look very good does it?

and whose fault do you think that is?

you know im gonna guess bees

bees?

specifically me

i didnt think bees not needing to make

honey would affect all these things

its notjust flowers

fruits vegetables they all need bees

thats our whole sat test right there

take away produce that affects

the entire animal kingdom

and then of course

the human species?

so if theres no more pollination

it could all just go south here

couldnt it?

i know this is also partly my fault

how about a suicide pact?

how do we do it?

ill sting you you step on me

thatjust kills you twice

right right

listen barry

sorry but i gotta get going

i had to open my mouth and talk

vanessa?

vanessa? why are you leaving?

where are you going?

to the final tournament of roses parade

in pasadena

theyve moved it to this weekend

because all the flowers are dying

its the last chance

ill ever have to see it

vanessa i just wanna say im sorry

i never meant it to turn out like this

i know me neither

tournament of roses

roses cant do sports

wait a minute roses roses?

roses

vanessa

roses?

barry?

roses are flowers

yes they are

flowers bees pollen

i know

thats why this is the last parade

maybe not

oould you ask him to slow down?

oould you slow down?

barry

ok i made a huge mistake

this is a total disaster all my fault

yes it kind of is

ive ruined the planet

i wanted to help you

with the flower shop

ive made it worse

actually its completely closed down

i thought maybe you were remodeling

but i have another idea and its

greater than my previous ideas combined

i dont want to hear it

all right they have the roses

the roses have the pollen

i know every bee plant

and flower bud in this park

all we gotta do is get what theyve got

back here with what weve got

bees

park

pollen

flowers

repollination

across the nation

tournament of roses

pasadena oalifornia

theyve got nothing

but flowers floats and cotton candy

security will be tight

i have an idea

vanessa bloome ftd

official floral business its real

sorry maam nice brooch

thank you it was a gift

once inside

we just pick the right float

how about the princess and the pea?

i could be the princess

and you could be the pea

yes i got it

where should i sit?

what are you?

i believe im the pea

the pea?

it goes under the mattresses

not in this fairy tale sweetheart

im getting the marshal

you do that

this whole parade is a fiasco

lets see what this babyll do

hey what are you doing?

then all we do

is blend in with traffic

without arousing suspicion

once at the airport

theres no stopping us

stop security

you and your insect pack your float?

yes

has it been

in your possession the entire time?

would you remove your shoes?

remove your stinger

its part of me

i know just having some fun

enjoy your flight

then if were lucky well have

just enough pollen to do the job

oan you believe how lucky we are? we

have just enough pollen to do the job

i think this is gonna work

its got to work

attention passengers

this is oaptain scott

we have a bit of bad weather

in new york

it looks like well experience

a couple hours delay

barry these are cut flowers

with no water theyll never make it

i gotta get up there

and talk to them

be careful

oan i get help

with the sky mall magazine?

id like to order the talking

inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer

oaptain im in a real situation

whatd you say hal?

nothing

bee

dont freak out my entire species

what are you doing?

wait a minute im an attorney

whos an attorney?

dont move

oh barry

good afternoon passengers

this is your captain

would a miss vanessa bloome in 24b

please report to the cockpit?

and please hurry

what happened here?

there was a dustbuster

a toupee a life raft exploded

ones bald ones in a boat

theyre both unconscious

is that another bee joke?

no ones flying the plane

this is jfk control tower flight 356

whats your status?

this is vanessa bloome

im a florist from new york

wheres the pilot?

hes unconscious

and so is the copilot

not good does anyone onboard

have flight experience?

as a matter of fact there is

whos that?

barry benson

from the honey trial? oh great

vanessa this is nothing more

than a big metal bee

its got giant wings huge engines

i cant fly a plane

why not? isnt john travolta a pilot?

yes

how hard could it be?

wait barry

were headed into some lightning

this is bob bumble we have some

latebreaking news from jfk airport

where a suspenseful scene

is developing

barry benson

fresh from his legal victory

thats barry

is attempting to land a plane

loaded with people flowers

and an incapacitated flight crew

flowers?

we have a storm in the area

and two individuals at the controls

with absolutely no flight experience

just a minute

theres a bee on that plane

im quite familiar with mr benson

and his noaccount compadres

theyve done enough damage

but isnt he your only hope?

technically a bee

shouldnt be able to fly at all

their wings are too small

havent we heard this a million times?

"the surface area of the wings

and body mass make no sense"

get this on the air

got it

stand by

were going live

the way we work may be a mystery to you

making honey takes a lot of bees

doing a lot of small jobs

but let me tell you about a small job

if you do it well

it makes a big difference

more than we realized

to us to everyone

thats why i want to get bees

back to working together

thats the bee way

were not made of jello

we get behind a fellow

black and yellow

hello

left right down hover

hover?

forget hover

this isnt so hard

beepbeep beepbeep

barry what happened?

wait i think we were

on autopilot the whole time

that may have been helping me

and now were not

so it turns out i cannot fly a plane

all of you lets get

behind this fellow move it out

move out

our only chance is if i do what id do

you copy me with the wings of the plane

dont have to yell

im not yelling

were in a lot of trouble

its very hard to concentrate

with that panicky tone in your voice

its not a tone im panicking

i cant do this

vanessa pull yourself together

you have to snap out of it

you snap out of it

hold it

why? oome on its my turn

how is the plane flying?

i dont know

hello?

benson got any flowers

for a happy occasion in there?

the pollen jocks

they do get behind a fellow

black and yellow

hello

all right lets drop this tin can

on the blacktop

where? i cant see anything oan you?

no nothing its all cloudy

oome on you got to think bee barry

thinking bee

thinking bee thinking bee

wait a minute

i think im feeling something

what?

i dont know its strong pulling me

like a 27millionyearold instinct

bring the nose down

thinking bee

thinking bee thinking bee

what in the world is on the tarmac?

get some lights on that

thinking bee

thinking bee thinking bee

vanessa aim for the flower

out the engines were going in

on bee power ready boys?

affirmative

good good easy now thats it

land on that flower

ready? full reverse

spin it around

not that flower the other one

which one?

that flower

im aiming at the flower

thats a fat guy in a flowered shirt

i mean the giant pulsating flower

made of millions of bees

pull forward nose down tail up

rotate around it

this is insane barry

thiss the only way i know how to fly

am i kookookachoo or is this plane

flying in an insectlike pattern?

get your nose in there dont be afraid

smell it full reverse

just drop it be a part of it

aim for the center

now drop it in drop it in woman

oome on already

barry we did it

you taught me how to fly

yes no highfive

right

barry it worked

did you see the giant flower?

what giant flower? where? of course

i saw the flower that was genius

thank you

but were not done yet

listen everyone

this runway is covered

with the last pollen

from the last flowers

available anywhere on earth

that means this is our last chance

were the only ones who make honey

pollinate flowers and dress like this

if were gonna survive as a species

this is our moment what do you say?

are we going to be bees orjust

museum of natural history keychains?

were bees

keychain

then follow me except keychain

hold on barry here

youve earned this

yeah

im a pollen jock and its a perfect

fit all i gotta do are the sleeves

oh yeah

thats our barry

mom the bees are back

if anybody needs

to make a call nows the time

i got a feeling well be

working late tonight

heres your change have a great

afternoon oan i help whos next?

would you like some honey with that?

it is beeapproved dont forget these

milk cream cheese its all me

and i dont see a nickel

sometimes i just feel

like a piece of meat

i had no idea

barry im sorry

have you got a moment?

would you excuse me?

my mosquito associate will help you

sorry im late

hes a lawyer too?

i was already a bloodsucking parasite

all i needed was a briefcase

have a great afternoon

barry i just got this huge tulip order

and i cant get them anywhere

no problem vannie

just leave it to me

youre a lifesaver barry

oan i help whos next?

all right scramble jocks

its time to fly

thank you barry

that bee is living my life

let it go kenny

when will this nightmare end?

let it all go

beautiful day to fly

sure is

between you and me

i was dying to get out of that office

you have got

to start thinking bee my friend

thinking bee

me?

hold it lets just stop

for a second hold it

im sorry im sorry everyone

oan we stop here?

im not making a major life decision

during a production number

all right take ten everybody

wrap it up guys

i had virtually no rehearsal for that

#windicksy #replies #long post

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chipsanddespair · 7 years

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Though for those who choose enlightenment to the despair I ask only this…

do not spread word of what is below the cut, only the brave and the fearless should posses such knowledge and despair.

I have made the purest manifestation of evil for the sake of humanity. only the strong will reblog, the strongest will read more…

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Oh? that? Ha! that was only the first, now for round 2!

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Ladies and Gentlemen, i ask what is true despair? The sense of hopelessness? The feeling of unnerve at the unknown?

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Truly, this is despair. no matter the kind of person you are, no matter how you view yourself of the world, consider this.

We are nothing more than the same, cosmic dust of an ever expanding universe…

why must we despair?

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There is no need for hate for each other, just hate Despair. It does nothing but inconvenience you, it removes hope of an happy ending and brings that feeling of hopelessness.

If the Answer is no, then Despair has lost.

#chips #despair

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