#THINKING EVERYONE SHOULD BE AS COLD AS YOU; AND IF THEYRE NOT; IF GOD FORBID THEY SHOW TOO MUCH EMOTION

[berryblu-soda]

local silly goofer was seething with rage and dumped it all in the tags, read at your own risk :3 <- personal stuff, wrote this after the tags, pretty okay now, just got it out of my system, love yall <3<3<3

[herohotline]

omg can you please do a hawks x pro hero! reader where they get partnered up for something and she's just cold and finds him extremely annoying,, one day they're just patrolling or something and he makes a joke and she SLIGHTLY smiles and hawks sees this and his heart just goes 📈📈📈,, maybe it ends with her patting his wings "oh? theyre soft" and hawks just nosebleeds lmao,, please and thank you 💞

A/N: weak for him... also wanted to write for someone other than aizawa lmao my inbox is full of him. I also made the reader tall in this fic because I thought it fit, so the reader is about 6′0 in height. small readers, just pretend ur tall, u already do it anyway. 

Also, tbh, this prompt kind of strayed. I still hope you like it! ---

It’s The Chicken Wings For Me (Hawks x GN!Reader)

---

Keigo Takami- otherwise known as Hawks to the general public and basically everyone else he knew. The man didn’t give his name out to just anybody besides a select few- the only reason you knew his name is because you frequently worked with the guy since you were both hired by the Public Safety Commission. 

Just because you happened to know his name and work with him doesn’t mean you like him, though. 

He was cocky, purposefully arrogant (because you knew how smart he actually was), and way too comfortable, in your opinion. Each time the Commission teamed you up with him, you had a habit of making a stink. You’d think that the Commission would be annoyed by your complaints and make them stop by just Not Pairing You Together like you wanted, but no. The two of you, unfortunately, make a good team, despite your lack of chemistry. 

So you just have to put up with him and his aggravating attitude. 

---

Keigo knows that you hate him. 

Hate- that’s a strong word. You don’t really hate him, you just hate putting up with him. To be fair, Keigo doesn’t make it very easy for you. He acts like a little brat, honestly- he pokes and prods you that much more because he knows you don’t like it. He thrives off your clipped comments and agitated glares. 

He doesn’t really know why he likes to bother you. It’s like the kid who pulls on the pigtails of the girl he likes- something like that. 

Today, the two of you are simply out for patrols together. He usually takes off during patrols, cruising in the air to have a broader view of the streets below- but because he’s paired with you, he keeps his feet on the ground, walking by your side as he chats your ear off. 

The two of you almost look goofy together. You’re several inches taller than he is, he has to look up at you to talk to you properly- but with the way you are, you barely even give him the time of day as you refuse to look down at him. The fact you can ignore him so easily because he falls out of your line of vision really makes Keigo work that much harder to earn your attention and frustration.

“But- ah- I’ve really told you a lot about me, haven’t I?” Keigo says suddenly, and he grins up at you as he puts his hands in his pockets. “You should tell me more about you!” 

You scoff and purse your lips, finally offering him a glance as you look down at him. Always so cocky... “I disagree,” you tell him simply. “Sure, you talk a lot, but you don’t even tell me anything about yourself when you do. It’s just a bunch of stories that you happened to be a part of or witnessed, none of it says a thing about you. So, thanks for the invitation, but I’ll pass.” You look back to the road in front of you. “Besides, you should be keeping an eye on our work more than talking.”

His face falls as he sighs, putting his hands in his pockets. “You’re such a downer, ___, and you always see right through me, too!” He throws his head back as he stares up at the sky, his wings twitching just barely. He could fly off, do his job like you said, but... Keigo simply doesn’t want to. “So cold... cold as ice.” 

“Mhmm,” 

“Even colder than Endeavor’s kid! You know, the half and half one.” Keigo holds his chin as he thinks. “So I guess he’s not actually that cold.” 

“Doesn’t one of his other kids have an ice quirk? And his wife?” 

“Oh, you’re right. I forgot.” 

You snort in amusement. “You’re a big fan of his but forgot about his other kids, huh?” 

“I was distracted!”

“By what?”

“You! And your coldness!” 

You actually laugh then, shaking your head and smiling, god forbid. Has Keigo ever seen you smile before? He watches you with wide eyes, his wings once again twitching as he takes you in. “Right,” you roll your eyes at him, your amused smile doing things to him that you don’t even notice, “my coldness. You ever take a guess on why I’m like that around you?”

Keigo grins. “Because I’m insufferable.” 

“Exactly. You should do something about that- hmm?” You’re cut off by something brushing your arm. You had rolled up the sleeves of your suit earlier because of the heat, and when you look down, you see Keigo’s feathers lightly brushing your bare skin. Keigo follows your line of vision and when he realizes, his wing quickly folds back. 

“Oops! My bad.” He laughs casually. You stroke the area where his wing had touched you and hum, lips pursing together. 

“You keep doing that, you know,” you tell him as you look at his wings. “They keep spreading out like that because you aren’t stretching them. Go fly off and tell me if you find anything.” 

“Giving me orders?” He quirks his brow at you. 

“Yes.”

“...” His shoulders sink and he sighs again. “Fine! Fine,” his tone is defeated as he takes a few quick steps away from you, and then his wings spread out as he gives you a cocky smile. “Impressed?” 

“I think it stops looking cool once you get to know the person behind the wings. And after you’ve seen it hundreds of times,” you deadpan. 

“But you admit that it was cool at least once.”

“Sure, fine. Go ahead and try that hard to fish for my compliments.”

“I will, thank you!” Keigo laughs and gives you a salute, and then he takes off into the air. “Don’t miss me too much!”

Your head lifts to watch him, “believe me, I won’t,” you assure him. Keigo just laughs again, and within a second, he’s suddenly gone, only leaving a burst of wind that sends chills down your naked arms behind him. You scoff. 

He totally did that on purpose.

---

By the time your patrol shift is over, you’re officially bored out of your mind. It’s a good thing because it means that no villains had attacked the area and everything was peaceful and safe. You had helped an old lady with her bags and then a few other pedestrians with directions around the city, but other than that, you didn’t really do much besides walk around a lot. You at least treasured the time you had to yourself when Keigo had finally taken off to patrol the city from above. 

You really don’t know why he insists on bugging you. 

Eventually, he comes back when he was bored enough, so the two of you ended your shift together. He asked you where you were headed now that you were clocked off, and you kindly told him to mind his own business. 

“I don’t think that concerns you, chicken boy,” is a very kind way to tell someone to bug off. You could have been worse. 

“Chicken boy, that’s a new one,” he replied, and for once, he actually looked fed up with you. “What about me is like a chicken, anyway? Be honest.” 

You had almost laughed at the opportunity. Instead, you reach out and put a hand on his feathers, lightly petting and putting one between your fingers as you hum. “I don’t know,” you tease, “kinda looks like a chicken to me.” 

Keigo’s nose scrunches in a way you had never seen before as he pulls his wings away from you. “Chickens are white,” he told you. 

“True enough,” you put your hand back at your side. “Chickens can’t fly, either... Their wings aren’t as soft as yours. So with all of that taken into account, it really doesn’t make sense that whenever I look at you, I still just see a scraggly old chicken. Wonder why that is.” 

You had really just been teasing him, trying to get on his nerves like he had so frequently got on yours. His face turned pink, and you thought- yes, finally. I’ve finally done it. 

But then he just smiled, wide, ear to ear. “Just admit it and say you think I’m cute.”

Of course. 

Your face falls as you just stare at him blankly, and his shit-eating grin never leaves. “Where on Earth did you get that from what I said.” 

“Chickens are cute! You don’t think so? I think you do.” 

The bickering never ended, and you didn’t even notice that he continued to follow you until you arrived at the food cart you were planning to eat at. And then the two of you continued to bicker and peck at each other, just like a couple of hens, really- as you ate dinner together. It was truly amazing how stubborn Keigo was to bother you- it almost looked like you were friends to passerby's. But you were definitely not friends, nowhere close. 

He was just a piece of gum on your shoe. Really. 

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

ah i almsot forgot: warning, the following has mainly snarky opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

and we’re back to our scheduled programming

time to be rendered unconscious against your will you lil shit

-

“i hardly think anyone could pass out from eating something like this”

clearly you dont know what world youre living in, Sadmad.

...also he... might be allergic, guys. ever thought of that? 

-

yes, EAT! EAT OR WE WILL HARASS YOU, POSSIBLY INNOCENT BYSTANDER!!! YOU THINK YOU HAVE RIGHTS???? CRAM THAT SHIT DOWN YOUR THROAT BEFORE I DO!!!!

-

...uh;

-

FIVE IS NOT AN OCCUPATION!!! EAT ANOTHER BUN AS PUNISHMENT!!!! REGRESS FURTHER!!!! HFKJGU;SUUSRSO 

coping jokes aside holy shit 

don’t hurt this tiny boy!!!

-

i hope you all feel guilty for being such pricks.

look at him. he's curled up under his jacket like a traumatized baby 

at least this personality... sort of aligns with how DID is supposed to work? But now i just feel even worse. Someone get that kid a teddy and a juice-box, stat!

-

“Its clear that none of his personalities could be the killer!”

A) one of the three could still be lying

B) there’s four so far, what’s to discount a fifth? triggered by... i dunno, a reefer brownie.

C) I'm actually glad he's not the killer anyway just wanted to point out the possibilities youre discounting there

-

i love that theyre playing the goofy X people music for a traumatized five year old who witnessed a horrific murder of a loved one.

-

“I believe the person who laid the cards out is the very person who killed the victim” WELL.... DOY.

-

“How quickly you move onto a new theory when your old theory proves false!”

WELL.......... DOY

-

I love that theyre all just yelling and screaming about murder while the tiny child cowers behind the bench

hello??? anybody with compassion anywhere? maybe in the gallery? a bailiff? anybody???

-

“his emotions are spiralling out of control! something must have really frightening him”

maybe 

THE FUCKING MURDER????

athena youre a psychologist; dont you know anything about calming people down or at least putting them at ease? youre gonna put scars on this kid’s scars!

i mean at least Cody Hackins was fairly fearless and defiant about what happened to him and only really broke down once it dawned on him what he’d actually seen. Owen is clearly very, very upset.

-

i passed out *image promptly closes eyes*

-

“poor kid, he's absolutely terrified of something”

KDJFKLDGDGL

“whatever it is, it might be the root of his out of control emotions!”

DSHFA;SLGHOHSO GIRSHG’ 

-

“see, all we got out of this boy is a tale he dreamt up”

fuck off sadmad

-

(sigh) Owen’s on his side, Shisho’s laying down, just get to it already

-

“rotating your thinking about?”

“oh! you mean turning your thinking around!”

“yeah, whatever...”

(SNERK)

-

“like the forehead, perhaps”

is that... just a random location or is it actually going to come true

also, back at the office, Apollo winces and he can’t figure out why

-

oh yeah its definitely gonna come back.

-

WHOA; OK, MANHANDLING 

MANHANDLING, NOT GOOD

STEP AWAY FROM THE ATTORNEY, BLACKQUILL

yeah just fucking manhandle the stressed out anxious girl. you piece of shit.  i knew me being your friend wouldn’t fuckin last.

-

“MOTIVE, OPPORTUNITY, EVIDENCE??? IS THAT ALL IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU STOP BELIEVING IT YOUR CLIENT?!”

to be fuckin fair, cuckoo, thats usually what loses most cases.

-

would phoenix manhandle athena?? would he berate her and shake her into doing her best?? i highly doubt it.

-

“prosecutor blackquill was just giving me a pep talk, thats all!”

athena thats unhealthy

-

legitimately simon’s been nothing but unpleasant this entire time. its fun to watch him wreck sadmad’s shit but he needs to keep the hell away from athena. whatever protective, elder-brotherly instincts he had for her in DD seem to have stayed in DD.

-

man I'm looking back at my previous commentary and i was. i was just so optimistic. how foolish. franziska, bring down your lash upon this foolishly foolish fool.

atcuall dont i bruise like a peach

-

jeez now I'm imagining Super Dad™ Phoenix Wright cross examining Owen with Athena instead and it’s melting my cold, hard heart

-

“unfortunately, i spy nothing of the sort”

again Sadmad acts like if he doesn't see the answer, then it’s nonexistent 

not very monk-y of you, Sadmad.

-

gotta admit, i love this unique murder weapon

ive actually nearly suffocated under soft, cold, gloopy stuff and lemme tell you, its not fun.

-

...i love that simon took that logic-attack for us 

maybe the animators just wanted to play his OH SHIT animation again 

-

i know it looks like i pick on everything but in fact i edit these down. sometimes i take out whole statements because i rationalize them and realize that theyre actually plausible and i let them slide. so just, y’know. if you think I'm just blindly going at it, i am actually giving this game the benefit of the doubt. you just dont see it.

...if you read these

...uh

-

they used the pre-prepped noodles in the fridge. c’mon guys, as athena would say: Andale!

-

“perhaps the victim was simply playing with the cards, and they hold no other meaning”

oh NOW THEY COULD BE UNRELATED TO THE CASE

OF COURSE, NOW THAT IT’S CONVENIENT TO YOU

you sack’a shit

-

nice cliffhanger, kid.

Oh well; I’m partially glad that the poor lil guy can get a rest, and partially upset that his last two surfaces put him through intense anguish. maybe get Uendo drunk and go to the theatre or something, guys. poor baby could use a pick-me-up.

-

n no–– rise from the ashes flashbacks–– RISE FROM THE ASHES FLASHBACKS

THE LUNCHBOXES

SO MANY LUNCHBOXES

AAAAAHHHHhhhhi gotta give bucky a hand; being drunk and riding a skateboard while supporting a tower of bentos isn’t an easy feat

-

ew slurping 

-

and simon extends his douchiness to the guys he's even shafting Athena for.

just, fuckin, lighten the fuck UP simon, CHRIST

-

TIDDIES

seriously tho; we haven’t had a proper boob joke in ages. actually Geiru kinda reminds me of April May...

 Meanwhile we’ve had several testicle references, a drunk guy, and the bloodiest overarching plot the series has ever had. I think we’ve left Ace behind and graduated to Edge Attorney

-

 to be fair the judge could totally be talking about her actual rubber balloons, considering his childlike personality at times. so maybe ITS YOU, SADMAD, WHO’S THE VULGAR ONE!

GET YOUR MIND OUTTA THE GUTTER!!

-

bloooon. i think Drifloon says that, too. Is that a japenese onomatopoeia or something? 

-

ooh he sadMad

heh

i guess its up to simon’s brilliant mind tricks to save us again..?

...yehhhh i knew it

-

...huh. didnt expect that. impressive use of air...sword... skill. 

-

IM NOT A KOORAHEENIST, SHE’S NOT GONNA HEAR ME ANYWAY.

-

i know what theyre building up and yes, i am super excited to see all those balloons pop

-

...i gotta ask tho, why does Athena think those balloon animals are bad?? theyre extremely intricate and they look a lot more like the thing she promised than most of the ones ive seen.

-

aw no the cake disappeared. i want a huge explosion at the end!!

-

“I’ma cut ya, witch!”

...

.....

........

i uh, i have to um,,,,,,, go now

-

SHES GONNA CUT OFF A TIT

GIRD YERSELF ATHENA

-

me, into my DS mic: HOLD IT. Hold IT. Hold it. hold it... hold it... bold it

athena; HOLD IT 

-

simon: athena youre stupid do something. I'm not helping you.

simon: this time I'm going to do something, but god forbid you dont run with it

i dont think we’ve ever had a co counsel add something to the testimony for us before. we’ve had them hint at answers and interrupt trials to get us out of tight spots, but never directly ordering something like that. Guess that proves just how highly BK thinks of Athena’s abilities......

-

ooh the cakes back and there was a pop

im super ready for this

-

shit thats a strong balloon. i wouldn’t advice biting very thing plastic...

-

............

the... fuck???

sadmad: here is what will prove that Geiru IS NOT the murderer!

(geiru reveals buckwheat allergy and ACUAL RED HAND)

how the fuck does that help your case, Sadmad?? We know that the killer used the dough to kill the master by suffocating him with it. Pointing out that she came into contact with the dough, WITH HER HANDS, IS PROVING SHE DID IT.

YOU JUST GOT HER CAUGHT LITERALLY RED-HANDED.

HOW DOES THIS HELP YOUR CASE??????

-

ok well apparently she could die just by being in the room but if we look at how badly her hand has reacted, and is still reacting, Geiru should probably have at least some difficulty talking if “breathing in the flour” was dangerous. If her hand reacted that badly from minor contact, her throat should be shut like a steel trap. what I'm saying is, she’s probably lying about the severity.

-

“As if I would do anything so underhanded”

oh sad-‘trigger my enemies into yielding’-mad, youre hilarious 

-

y’know i just realized, it is a little insensitive of Taifu to make/buy/keep soba around the place. if Geiru is this deadly allergic, he’s risking killing her simply because he can’t give up his precious noodles. thats like living with someone with a deadly peanut allergy and being all “can’t get enough of my PBnJ!!”

-

its time for

Off!

Brand!

Logic!!!!

-

oh. its not. ...ok

-

hang on didnt she say the dough was udon already, or am i misremembering? if she did and everyone just forgot, thats a little sad.

anyway, i guess thats... an alright twist. i still say that saying your witness is allergic to something and showing a reaction on the body part associated with the murder is stupid thing to do.

-

“dont lose your nerve now. keep charging forward or you'll feel my blade at your back”

I'm just gonna let that speak for itself.

-

ah THERES the off brand logic. and we’re finally gonna talk about those fucking noodles in the fridge. its been a long time coming.

-

i like that ‘ramen’ is a third choice every time

-

that was a pretty involved murder. “alright, kill the old man, hmm hmm... make a dish that i’m deathly allergic to to throw of the scent; just gotta get the cooking! make sure Uendo doesn’t wake up and catch me in the act~~ get rid of the dough in a way that is probably time consuming, lalala~ and there! Blooooon, the perfect crime!”

how much time did she have??

-

also how much blood did she lose form that knick on her forehead? if its enough to permeate an entire clump of dough, she should probably need a transfusion.

-

simon: dog pun. have you figured out the twist yet???? DOG PUN, BY THE WAY. JUST SO YOU KNOW.

-

all the balloons are there. its time.

-

seriously, thats gotta be a lot of blood. I'm getting Gingerdead Man flashbacks.

-

“i wanna thank you, simon. without your constant abuse, i wouldn’t have been scared enough to succeed for fear of what would happen if i failed!”

-

...its a bit premature for breakdown animations; the police haven't gotten back to us about the dough...

-

...i didnt like this balloon explosion as much as i thought i was going to. this is kinda just... uncomfortable.

-

you know, she shouldn’t have resorted to murder or blaming the crime on an innocent, but I feel like Taifu should’ve.... I dunno, either Trained her properly or let her down easy instead of forcing her to be a sexy balloon clown.

It’s clear she really, really wanted to succeed her father’s name, (which I'm a little confused about; was he one of Taifu’s students? What is Uendo’s real name then? what is any of their real names...) so I’m sure that if she just practiced enough, she’d probably be able to do what she needed to get to that level of entertainment. And if she couldn’t, letting her down easy and encouraging her to find something she actually liked instead of making her do... um... balloons would probably be a whole lot less nasty.

also wtf uendo; what did whet ever do to you

man all of these people were kind of dicks. except bucky. the guy who came to his trial drunk.

-

Sadmad: Hmm.... upon further deliberation... seeing as you won... I believe I shall afford you a basic sense of human respect.................. 

Athena: thats all I ask, prosecutor sadmahdi!

-

heyy he’s sobered up! or should I say... SOBA’D UP AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH but seriously i don’t think they’ve said drunk or hungover once in this entire case what the fu

-

“no way... i almost got convicted out of convenience?” you, larry butz, maggey byrde and a shit tonne of other characters in the series. its actually a fairly common occurrence.

-

“he didn’t give her the name because he wanted geiru to find her own calling in life...”

...you know. after foisting a sexy balloon routine on her. to encourage her to quite entertainment. 

obviously Taifu was using the Simon Blackquill approach to encouragement.

“making udon was his way of showing his support of her in her new endeavour”

...what does that... mean

“oh, i’ll make safe dough instead of the stuff THAT KILLS HER to prove that i support her!”

genius

-

“So this entire situation happened because of a misunderstanding? How sad...”

i think you mean,,, hhhh

i hate misunderstanding plots so so much

-

this entire case is just “he was being an asshole to ENCOURAGE you, see!! now you HAVE to forgive him!!”

newsflash: no i dont. you know what works better than fear tactics, threats and coercion? 

BEING ACTUALLY SUPPORTIVE

-

“he probably used some tough love on you so that the shop wouldn’t just go belly up”

I SAID SUPPORTIVE. ARE YOU DEAF???

-

see? athena is being a little misguided but at least she's using a positive -food- to try to accomplish something.

“i’ll make sure its got all the TLC Master Toneido would’ve packed in it, too!”

you got it! one ice-cold, bitter, al-dente bowl with a side of vinegar, comin’ right up!

-

no athena!! brand loyalty!! mr eldoon will never forgive you!!!

-

“do us all proud, bucky”

or else

(flashes air sword)

-

Athena: I wonder if this gave me any experience as a lawyer...

Simon: HAHA WRONG, IF I HADN’T BEEN THERE YOU’D HAVE HAD THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF YOU. YOU SUCK, ATHENA, AND YOU DO EVERYTHING WRONG. FUCK YOU~!

see what annoys me about this is that when I first played Athena, I had some issues with her being too inexperienced to be a proper lawyer, especially with her court-related PTSD which could seriously endanger her clients.

However... Why are they bringing up her lack of experience in the one case (it’s not even a full case) in a game that isn’t even about her? And ignoring all the progress she made in Dual Destinies?

The way they’re talking about it is as if theyre setting up some kind of sequel; ‘you need to improve athena, you need to practice’. Which would have been all well and good for one of the cases in the first run of her own game... but Athena has been and continues to be a side character to Apollo and Phoenix. Rather than this moment coming at a crucial moment in her own game, it comes out of nowhere during a case she got last minute, couldn’t have prepared for, and is abused throughout.

what I'm saying is, the ghosts of DD past has come to haunt us. They introduced Athena too early and are bungling up her character development. Lawyers need a full set of games to let them grow. Just make an actual Apollo Justice 2 or Athena Cykes 1, but don’t insult us by pretending that this five minute shit actually did either of them justice.

-

Simon: I hope you stay shitty so that I can always win

brilliant.

you know, usually when a character is jerk with a heart of gold, that ‘heart of gold’ thing is supposed to show up at the end.

-

i was going to ignore the horrible joke but then Widget said “ROTFL”

what a... great way to end this....... great case

-

and so we close this one off, and for a case about tasty food, it sure left a bitter taste in my mouth.