#THIS EVENT GIVES ME SO MUCH JOY AND HAPINESS

[erabu-san]

POV : Cyno just did a joke. Redrawing a screenshot from the event !

[terrorsbeauty]

At Peace // Eddie Kaspbrak x sister!reader

request: Hi! So i will not accept that Eddie is gone so could you write an imagine where the reader runs and pushes Eddie out of the when and in turn takes the blow and ends up being the one who dies because she believes her best friend her brother Eddie deserves to live more than her because she believes he’s worth more than her and her other best friend Richie deserves so much. Maybe she knows about riche and Eddie an just wants them to be happy and she tells them this as she passes thank you so much!!

a/n: i hope you enjoy it <3

You would do anything for your twin. There wasn’t nothing on this damned Earth that you wouldn’t do for that man, even though you didn’t show it all the time. You loved your little brother (“By two minutes, Y/N, it doesn’t even matter!”), and you making fun of him or being sarcastic when he wasn’t in the mood made you even more protective with others. No one was aloud to be mean, or sassy to him. Only you.

The call from Mike, normally, shocked both of you, but the reunion with your losers was something of pure hapiness and joy — words you wouldn’t say about the events to follow. For a time, it was like reliving summers with your friends; new and exciting, laughing too loud at Richie’s antics, poking fun at Eddie’s worries, whispering with Bev about the boys. For the first time, in a very long time, you felt truly alive and with friends. It made you tear up, how glad you were with them, and even the thought of forgetting them again, or losing them made you want to succumb into the depths of despair.

That’s what you did when you found out about Stan. That Stan, with curly bright hair that loved birds and loved sassing everyone around, the Stan that was always there for anybody, the Stan that with light in his eyes said goodbye to you once, and never again. You didn’t really think about it; that goodbye being the last one, and now the thought was hovering over your head— I should’ve appreciated it more. I should’ve held him tighter.

You felt that same way when you thought Eddie was going to die. This time, you wouldn’t let that happen. He was so happy that he hurt It, so glad that he saved Richie, and you were so proud that he overcame his fear, but unlike him, you noticed Pennywise’s claw coming towards him, and you did the only thing that made sense to you in that very moment. You jumped in front of it.

The pain in your chest couldn’t compare to the hurt in your borther’s eyes. It hurt so much to see him cry, all because of you.

“Y/N, wh-why?” he said sobbing.”Someone help, help!” he started screaming hysterically, but you weakly raised your hands to his cheek.

“You deserve it more. Both of you.” you said, your voice low and smooth.

“How could you even say that?” he looked at you so betrayed, desperately trying to get you to a safe place and get you in order.

“Yeah. How?” Richie started to speak up as he helped Eddie lay you down.

You closed your eyes slowly, feeling your lids growing heavier by the minute.

Your bicycle zoomed through the forest, as you followed your friends to your special hangout spot, which Ben, being a total sweetheart, build by himself for all of you.Your hair flowed behind you, and the sun hit your skin but you didn’t care. It was summer, you were with your friends, and your mother wasn’t here to put sunscreen on you. You laughed as you put your bikes down and jumped into the place. You went for the hammock first, and Richie being him obviously decided he should join you.

You threw a little pebble at him and told him to leave you alone. He started making jokes, and Eddie started to talk about the verbal agreement you all made. You decided to get off the hammock, and ruffle Richie’s hair.

“I hate you” you said with a grin and he replied as always.

“Nah, you don’t.”

Eddie got in the hammock with your best friend and started to throw his legs at him. They always had a thing, those two. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it though.

You went to talk to Stan and Beverly, and all was good.

“Y/N? Y/N?” you heard Richie say and you opened your eyes.

“Just stay alive, we’ll get you help as soon as we can.” Eddie said in a rush. “God, why did you do that?”

You smiled, a pitiful smile, and sighed.

“ I lived my life. You need to start living yours too.”

“What in living hell does that...” Eddie started but you passed out again.

You shared a cigarette with Richie behind the bleachers.

“ Both my mom and Eddie would kill me if they found out.” you said smiling and puffing smoke.

“I’m pretty sure your mom would have a heart attack if she found out that you sneaked out last night, to see me. She hates me already.” he said squinting his eyes at the sun and taking a long drag.

“I would assure you that she doesn’t, but she hates everyone.”you said putting your head in his lap.

“Y/N.. we’ll be best friends no matter what, right?” he said and you furrowed your eyebrows.

“ Of course, Rich. Always.”

“ Even if, let’s say I killed someone. Or if I was someone bad?” he said, starting to look nervous and take quicker drags on his cigarette.

You stood up and looked at him confused, putting out your smoke.

“Yeah, of course. What is this all about? you said your eyes searching him.

“I don’t think I like girls.”

“ I mean, you like Eddie and that’s close enough.” you said with a smile and he just stood there, a bit shocked.

“ Is it that obvious?”

“ Nah. You’re lucky my brother likes you too though.” you said and lit another cigarette.

You opened your eyes, Eddie and Richie holding your hands.

“ You deserve a life full of love. Both of you. Give it to each other.” you said, your words coming choked out out of your mouth. “I love both of you, with all

my heart. There’s no better way to go than dying by your side. It’s a privilege. It was a privilege to be your sister, Eds. It was a privilege to be a part of the Losers Club. Goodbye, now. Kill that fucking clown for me.” you said with a weak smile and closed your eyes, Richie and Eddie’s pleads in the background, as a far away noise.

Light between the branches of the trees, scattered bikes and laughs, jumping in the cold water, it engulfing you, smoking in the back of a truck, getting drunk at the outskirts of town. Happiness. Love.

Beverly. Ben. Mike. Bill. Stan. Richie. Eddie. Mom. Dad.

They say that when you die,your life flashes before your eyes. You wasn’t sure that that was your whole life. Just the good times. The times when you were loved and when you also loved. It was full of light. You thought of Stan, and how he passed, and prayed you saw him on the other side. The light between the branches grew brighter and brighter, almost blinding you. You closed your eyes, feeling the sun on your skin. You’ve lived a good life. You were at peace.

[smarmykemetic]

I will be starting the discord chat in the Mourners of Outlaws discord (message me for the link) probably around 3:30pm The ritual will officially start at Saturday May 16th 4pm MST (time zone converter). The plan is as follows:

Start the voice chat, wait for the friend who requested the Catholic rite to join. Recite Catholic prayer to the best of my ability.

Make offering to Anubis, and pray to him as a psychopomp to watch over the ritual and make sure that all the souls who don’t want to go to the Duat are ferried to their appropriate afterlives.

As close to 4pm MST as possible, begin the ritual.

Personal prayer/adoration of the Outlaw Dead.

Music and singing.

Discussion of what spells I am willing to ask the OD for help with on your behalf (the ones that have consented/will consent to the job, that is) in exchange for a charitable donation to living Outlaws (especially to ones affected by the virus). I’m planning on researching a handful of charities to suggest, but I’ll accept donations to a charity of your choice as well.

Reversion of offerings and generally hanging out in the voice chat (for fun and so that I can relax and ground myself). Me and my irl friends are probably gonna play a drinking game afterward, and it would be really fun for yall to participate with that, since I bet we’ll all appreciate something goofy and fun after this.

This is going to be an emotionally intense event, as it is every time I do the full rite, especially since the whole point is for us to collectively mourn and, hopefully, begin to process the collective trauma of this awful shit we’re all going through right now. Especially since I know from experience I tend to get a little errmm carried away when doing magic or rituals, I want to warn anyone that this will very likely be triggering to some; I’m not entirely confident in my ability to stay calm once I get going with this. I am definitely going to cry like a baby like I always do can we get an f in the chat, and then I’m gonna get tipsy on the ritual alcohol, so as a perk to helping honor the beloved dead, you get to giggle at me acting drunk and foolish lol. (My bf and a friend of ours, both Norse pagans who don’t really use Tumblr, will also be listening in in person, and you’ll likely get a chance to chat with them too, in case that sweetens the pot for anyone.)

If you want to participate rather than just listen, you’ll need to set up a space to offer stuff to Set, and a separate space to offer to the OD. You don’t absolutely have to use icons for either of them, but consider using the sigils I made to represent different factions of the OD 

You will also need: two candles, lighter, incense, water, two cups, something to give for an offering (one for Set, one for the Dead). The OD aren’t picky, but they love alcohol and music; most of the rites I do for them end up having more of a friendly gathering/party vibe, after the serious and/or magical stuff is done. I think it’s because part of the offering is the company and attention of the living, not just the offerings themselves; basically, after we let ourselves get really sad and angry on their behalf, I’m expecting them to pivot it to a more positive and camaraderie-focused vibe, as they usually do. 

Finally, I want to encourage yall to not stress too much about getting all the details right in your own rituals, and to branch out to invite your own gods, or apply your own traditional methods for such a situation, if you so choose. I highly recommend at least making an offering to Set and asking him for protection before doing anything with the OD, since this whole thing is his project and that means he’s more liable to sufficiently supervise people trying to help him with it, but you can likely ask your patrons/trusted psychopomps to help you with it just as well.

(Ritual under the cut)

Approaching the Shrine:

Awake in peace, Lord of the Red Land, awake in peace.

I come to you, your servant, your son, I come to you.

Your beautiful scent, it calls me forward.

And upon you filling my nostrils

I, your servant, your son, I come to you.

I have made my way and I enter into your presence.

I am one of you.

Do not repulse me on the god’s path.

My feet are not impeded, I am not turned back from the god’s place.

I have looked upon you. I know you.

Your mighty Sha have enclosed me.

I have entered this place with ma’at in my heart

In order to honor each and every Akh in the Duat upon this day.

*Step forward, or open the shrine, depending on your setup*

I open your temple. I come to you.

Your warmth and beauty surrounds me as I enter. I am not repulsed.

Behold, I have come to you to offer Ma’at,

to make sound the Eye for its lord.

Presentation of Light:

The torch comes to your ka, O Set, Lord of the Oasis.

Here comes he who promises the night after the day;

Here comes the two sisters from Ra;

Here comes she who was manifested in Abdju.

For I have caused it to come to you.

Even the Eye of Horus comes to you

Because I have made it so.

*Light first wick*

Come to this Eye of Horus, Great Set.

Let its light renew your youth in peace.

*Light second wick*

 Come to this Eye of Horus, O Numerous Akhu who reside in the Duat.

Come to this light and let it renew your youth in peace.

 The Eye of Horus is your protection, O Weary One.

It spreads its protection over you; it defeats all of your adversaries.

Truly, your adversaries are fallen.

 The Eye of Horus is your protection, O Akhu.

It spreads its protection over you; it defeats all of your adversaries.

Truly, your adversaries are fallen.

 The Eye of Horus comes intact and shining

like Ra on the horizon.

The four torches go to your ka, O Set.

The four torches are your protection, O Lord of Ma’at

You are truly Enduring because of their protection.

 It is Set who causes a torch to be bright for the potent Bas in the Duat.

May you make the living Ba of each and every Akh within your Domain

to be strong with their torch so that they will not be

repelled or turned back from the portals of the West.

 Through your Rebellion and Strength,

Each and every akh in your Domain flourishes.

They are restored to their true shape and form

As sure as the sun crosses the sky every day.

 Purification of offering space:

 *Take up water bowl/pitcher*

 O water, may you remove all evil,

I give you essential water, O Destroyer of the Damned One, a tide in your time.

I bring the flood waters to purify your sanctuary.

I bring you the flood waters to purify your temple

and your statue in your place.

*wet your finger and touch the four sides of your shrine, offering table or plate, etc.*

O Set, your altar is cleansed by the water;

Your altar is purified by the incense;

You are cleansed by Horus;

You are purified by Thoth.

Water invigorates your body;

It is I, your servant,

who comes to you in the palace where you reside.

Presentation of Libations:

 These your cool waters, O Set

have come from your nephew, Horus.

I have come to you having gotten Horus’s eye,

So that your heart may become cool with it;

I have gotten it under your feet.

Accept the outflow that comes from you:

So that your heart will not become weary.

 *Pour the water into first cup or bowl*

 This water is the Eye of Horus,

take it to your countenance,

that it may brighten your face.

 O Set, take this Eye of Horus

Which has been given to you by your son

So that you may live in Eternity

Glorious and pure.

*Pour the water into second cup or bowl*

 O Glorious Spirits, take this Eye of Horus

It parts your mouth so that you may you taste its taste

Accept this Eye so that you may live in Eternity

Glorious and pure.

Presentation of Offerings:

Oh He Who Commands the Riot, stand up and sit down to a thousand of bread,

a thousand of beer, roast meat, your rib-meat from the slaughterhouse, “pulled” bread from the broadhall.

*place first offering*

 As you are provided with a god’s-offering, these akhu are provided with bread.

You have come to your ba, Set, ba among the akhs,

in control of all that he sees, whom the Ennead tend in the Official’s Enclosure.

I have given you Horus’s eye, I have allotted it to you: may it endure for you with you.

 *place second offering*

 O Glorious Akhu, stand up and receive this your bread from me.

O Great Spirits, I will be an attendant for you.

O Enduring Akhu, accept Horus’s eye, your bread-loaf, and eat.

 As everything is for those under your protection,

let everything be for the bodies of the Blessed Dead.

 Grow aroused, you Great Akhu

Take this Eye of Horus and become uplifted.

In your place of Completeness you do not hunger. You have no thirst.

Your contentment is all you know in the land of the Duat.

Your heart becomes awash with joy

And your hearts fill with ma’at.

 As you take in the Eye of Horus

You shall become as complete as every NTR:

your head as Horus of the Duat—an Imperishable Star;

your face as Eyes-Forward—an Imperishable Star;

your ears Atum’s twins—an Imperishable Star;

your eyes Atum’s twins—an Imperishable Star;

your nose as the Jackal—an Imperishable Star;

your teeth Sopdu—an Imperishable Star;

your arms Hapi and Duamutef—when you demand to go up to the sky, you go up;

your legs Imseti and Qebehsenuef—when you demand to go down to the undersky, you go down;

your limbs Atum’s twins—an Imperishable Star.

O Great Akhu, become clean through Horus’s Eye and

Make your bones firm.

O Great Akhu, become Whole through Horus’s Eye and

All of your obstructions will be removed through Set’s mighty Sha.

 You will not perish, your ka will not perish

As Set lives, you shall live.

As you live, Set lives.

 Sun and Thoth, take each and every akh with you,

that they may eat of what you eat of,

that they may drink of what you drink of,

that they may live on what you live on,

that they may sit where you sit,

that they may grow powerful from what you grow powerful from,

that they may sail in what you sail in.

The booth of each and every akh is plaited of reeds;

the flood of each and every akh is in the Marsh of Offerings;

their feasts are among you, gods;

the water of each and every akh is wine, like the Sun.

They will circumnavigate the sky like the Sun,

They shall course the sky like Thoth.

And both akhu and NTRW shall live in peace in the Duat.

Whole and Complete. A million times effective.

 Reversion of offerings:

 O He Who Makes the Sky Tremble, your enemies withdraw from you.

Heru has turned himself to his Eye in its name of Reversion-of-Offerings.

These your divine offerings revert;

They revert to your servant for life, stability, health and joy.

So that you may flourish for eternity.

[jorgeclardiary]

The form is stone, the dress is rain at AMP Gallery, Provincetown

Connection abounds….

Last winter, I had presented a performance titled Show and Tell at Gail’s Gene Frankel Theatre fundraiser, which led to Rafael and I engaging in a conversation about symbols—a point of convergence in our work.

For the performance, I had used one of the Magic Mirror notebooks we use for drawing at Joel’s. In this particular one, I had made a series of 33 drawings using Posca markers Bubi gave me. The drawings represent memories of my childhood and metaphysical musings. Some of them nod to Bubi’s Hologram video, in which I play a character called “Lord”.

For Show and Tell, as I flipped through those drawings, I recited the lines of a poem I wrote specifically for the performance, this after singing a few lines from Sara Montiel’s “Maniquí parisien”. Rafael, who had also participated in the Gene Frankel fundraiser by reading a poem, asked me if I would like to do the performance in a show he was organizing in Provincetown.

I told him I would be honored to do so. Rafael explained to me the idea for the show stemmed from conversations he and Hapi Phace had about rocks, and also talked about how Kathleen would use pentagram lines to write series of cryptograms. I remember the first time I had seen Kathleen’s work was at Wild Project in February 2016—I was drawn to her pieces because of her use of symbols and typewriter keys to create iconographs, all of it very dear to me….

The title of the show, “The form is stone/the dress is rain”, is a line from a poem by May Swenson, hailed poet of the 20th century who would write in an iconographic style. Artist friends, poetry, iconography—it all started coming together. Rafael mentioned I could also show a portrait I drew of Gail on New Year’s Day at Joel’s...he was also there that night and remembered it. I loved the idea of showing a drawing from our dear Magic Mirror circle.

I was so thrilled to be in such great company…the show would also include works by Kathleen White, Robert Appleton, Dietmar Busse, Elisabeth Kley, Hapi Phace, Rafael Sánchez, Gail Thacker and Conrad Ventur…all artists whom I admire tremendously. I was also elated to be in a show that would also be Hapi’s first gallery exhibition since 1986, when he exhibited at Edgar Oliver’s Pompeii Gallery in the East Village. What a thrill to get to know him better, really a full circle of dreams coming true as when I first moved to New York in 1987, my favorite thing in the world was the Whispers drag nights at the Pyramid, where I was especially fond of Hapi’s freewheeling, perfectly-cadenced and dazzlingly imaginative MCing.

A couple of weeks before the show, Scooter had sent me a photo of a pair of Dutch klomps he had painted, and I thought I would give him the ones Mom and Dad bought during a trip to Volendam, Holland, in 1978. He mentioned I should give them a coat of gesso, which my roommate Michael prepared and strained for me and I then applied lovingly to the shoes. Rafael stopped by the ranch and saw how the shoes looked—to me, they are like bisque porcelain—and mentioned we should take them to the show. Every time I saw how they now looked, I was in awe of the sense of something so familiar being transformed into an archetype. The unfinished piece was suddenly finished.

So there they were…the klomps, the drawing of Gail, the performance notebook hanging on the wall from a dowel—across from one of Kathleen’s late notebooks 2012-2013—all the objects coming together, morphing into something new.

Dietmar and I, on the suggestion of Gene Fedorko, made arrangements to stay overnight with Ms. Meade, who was most kind and welcomed us in her guest apartment. Later on, we found out while visiting that the converted garage we stayed in was used by Yves Klein as a studio! We had bought tickets to go to Boston on the Megabus to then connect with the ferry to Provincetown, but on our travel day, which was the day of the opening, September 22, hurricane José was whirling in the Atlantic near the area and so we knew beforehand we would have to take a bus provided by the Bay State Cruise Company.

We got to the Megabus terminal at 7:15 a.m., grabbed a bite at a deli and got on the bus. The bus got delayed and we got to Boston at 1:18 instead of 12:30. So, we missed our bus connection and stopped at the South Street Diner and had shrimp and chips.

An Uber took us to the ferry terminal, and we had to wait an hour for the next bus out, which was at 5 p.m. We waited at a Dunkin Donuts as the vernal equinox happened, to the tune of songs by Katy Perry and Selena Gómez being piped in. Dietmar did some drawings while I did some writing.

Back on the bus, we knew we were going to arrive close to 9…the climate was windy, gray and blustery…and the clock ticked on. We called Miss Meade and told her our whereabouts; she offered to pick us up at the ferry terminal. I was also in touch with Rafael to let him know where we were on the road, people were at the opening waiting for the performance. Something inside of me told me we would get there in the nick of time.

As we passed Shrewsbury, I started getting ready for the performance. To me, it had already started right there, on the bus. We got to the terminal and looked for Miss Meade, who dropped us off at the entrance of the AMP Gallery at 8:50—the opening would be over at 9. Dietmar and I walked in; I greeted Rafael and he almost jumped out of the sofa. We had been talking on the phone, braving an intermittent phone signal to figure out an ETA.

I said hello to Hapi, Tony Stinkmetal and Bobby Miller and checked in with gallerist Debbie Nadolney. She mentioned Louis, a benefactor who had arrived from Amherst, was going to take us out to dinner at The Muse and the reservation was about to run out.

I put my bag down and got ready. Rafael introduced me and I grabbed the notebook from the wall and did the performance; Bobby videoed.

Much excitement abounded after the suspense of the performance to arrive, I caught my breath and we all headed on to The Muse. Tony was commenting how he had found the performance inspirational; I was so grateful for this. It was a dreamlike meal.

After dinner, Dietmar went with Bobby in his car to be dropped off at Miss Meade’s. Hapi and Tony called it a night and Rafael and I walked around Commercial Street for a while, reeling with happiness. We went to listen to Scream Along with Billy at the amazing basement Grotta Bar doing an astounding concert of Brian Eno covers. We stopped in front of a store called Kmoe and took a selfie; the store was full of amazing industrial lamps and we took more photos. We stood in the parking lot and called Gail, who was in Grand Central Terminal back in New York…hearts jumping with joy.

We stood by the water near the parking lot and listened to the wind and saw the distant lights of nearby towns through the fog.

Rafael drove me back to Miss Meade’s and I lay down to sleep. The next day Bobby would take our portraits! Hooray! (Dietmar took my photo next to Klumpen and in front of Rafael’s The Story of the 1st Painting (part one, number one) at the gallery. I was wearing a Jim Teeny Shadow-Camo shirt, Wrangler jeans, and Ferragamo boat shoes.)

As Rafael put it later on Facebook, it was a magical night:

Thank you, the universe, the artists, everyone that helped make this a reality and all who supported our efforts. We set up and opened through the horizontal rain of tropical storm José. The opening settled upon a perfectly misty, New England fog. Meanwhile, ferries were suspended for two days due to the choppy waters as the provided shuttle bus lumbered up the cape with Dietmar and Jorge Clar just in time for Jorge to inaugurate the show with his stunning visual poem! It was amazing. And if that wasn't enough, an unassuming patron arrived miraculously out of the foggy night to toast us and take us all out to dinner by the sea. The following day renowned photographer Bobby Miller further inaugurated the event with beautiful studio portraits of the artists that were able to attend; Hapi, Tony, Dietmar and of course Jorge marking the proceedings with a truly regal quality. Sun came on Sunday in time for a swim in the ocean, my first and probably last for the year. I feel humbled and blessed. I've not posted anything here since leaving NYC last week. Happy Fall everyone, Cape Cod is extraordinary this time of year. Exhibition continues through October 15.