#THIS RLLY GOT AWAY FROM ME WHILE WORKIN ON IT BUT IT WAS FUN i love making things tht hurt 2 look at :0]

[deeneee]

Stupid Name [Leon x Reader]

Note:  Just did something simple this time :) I apologize if Leon seems a little OOC? It was fun writing this chapter nonetheless! 

Master List

Previous

Just like before, you and Leon separated once again. You guys exchanged numbers again, since Leon got a new number, and the reason was, "I've got stalkers, you know" and you obviously did not believe that. . .maybe you kind of believed him, because Leon? Leon Scott Kennedy? He is hot as hell and you honestly don't blame the ladies (but, still stalking isn't okay). Now that you think of it, it's been, like, four days since you've seen the handsome agent. But, honestly, it felt like you just saw him yesterday. You were sitting down on your couch, watching Tom and Jerry, and once again, your flip phone dinged. You laughed to yourself and picked it up, clicking the buttons to head to the messages. 

Leon: what r u doing rn?

Sent 10:03 AM 

Me: Watching a cartoon

Sent 10:03 AM

Leon: that's crazy me too

Sent 10:04 AM

Me: Yeah? ur wack

Sent 10:04 AM

You snorted and closed your flip phone, turning your attention back to the screen. Surprisingly, you had a week off, while Leon did not. You weren't surprised, since he's a very bad ass agent. Ever since the both of you reunited, he had been in constant touch with you. He was always sending you texts and he would call you randomly at times. Anyways, it has only been four days. Now that you think of it, what the heck is he doing texting you and watching cartoons while he was working? Your phone dinged and you checked your phone. 

Leon: okay and? ik u miss me and all. y r u so sassy in the am

Sent 10:07 AM

Really? In the AM? Is he for real? And me missing him? Well, I mean, he ain't wrong. 

Me: um, sir, wdym. btw u should be workin. get 2 it

Sent 10:08 AM

You sighed and shook your head. Sometimes he would be flirty, and you wanted to flirt back, but you reminded yourself that he clearly had a woman. You just knew there was something there between them, even if he said there wasn't. You remembered the look on his face when you both saw her on your previous mission. Looking back at the screen, you watched as Tom once again had his cat woman being stolen from him by Butch. "Well, that sucks," you muttered, huffing. You stood up and stretched your body, looking out at the window to your right. It was cloudy outside and by the way the trees and plants swayed, it was windy. Beep! You reluctantly checked your phone. 

Leon: not rlly doing anything. just wanted 2 text u and theres nothing wrong w missin me

Sent 10:11 AM 

You rolled your eyes and let your phone fall on the comfy couch. Thinking back to the first time you met Leon, he was such a cinnamon roll, but now, he is a sinnamon roll. You can't believe Leon was such an innocent cutie, but now he is a sarcastic, teasing ass. Now, that's pretty crazy. All of a sudden, your ringtone began going off and you looked down at your mobile. You flipped it open and see an incoming call coming from the one and only Leon. You inhaled and then exhaled, answering the call. "Hello?" 

"There you are," his very attractive voice spoke. 

"Yes, I am here, Leon," you sarcastically responded. 

"And so is the sarcasm." 

"What are you calling for?" you asked and walked to your kitchen to grab a can of soda. 

"Just to kill time. The paper work just keeps on stacking," he muttered. 

"Haaa haaa," you mocked and he grunted on the other side."Well, hope you get it done, mister." 

"I rather do a mission than do this," he sighed and you nodded to yourself, agreeing as you clicked open your can. "You're drinking without me?" You rolled your eyes and took a gulp. "Wow, what a real friend you really are, [Name]." 

"Then, I guess I am not your real friend, Mr. Kennedy," you said. 

"Then, what about being my girlfriend?" he asked and you almost lost grip on your can, but caught yourself. Your eyes widened and your heart began to race immediately, a tingling sensation spreading throughout your whole body. 

"Wh-wha--?" you stuttered, eyes blinking. You swore that your stomach was falling out of your ass right now. Then, the bastard began chuckling, making your chest clench. "Stop joking around, Leon. Ada wouldn't like you saying that." It was quiet for a moment and you raised an eyebrow. "Leon?" you called. 

"Ada is not my woman," he stated, his voice so serious that you were caught off guard. You could feel that it was getting tense between you two, and you decided to not push it any further. Before you could speak, Leon beat you to the punch, ". . .She may be someone that I could never forget, but she is not my woman, and I am not her man." 

"O-okay, Leon," you drawled, feeling a little awkward, messing with the top of your can. Honestly. . .you felt really relieved. It was silent now, and you looked around your kitchen, heart beating super fast. You weren't sure what to say because you felt like you had gotten Leon upset. "U-um," you started, but he spoke right away. 

"Have you really not been romantic with a man these few years?" Leon inquired and you felt confused. Confused because why would he ask you this? 

"I mean, I was romantic with this one man," you answered. The blonde agent went quiet again and you furrowed your brows. "I did not date him though. We were just in the talking stage, but we eventually had to call it off due to our jobs." 

"So, he is an agent?" You chuckled, feeling that he was not happy about this. 

"Are you. . .jealous?"

"You didn't answer my question," he grumbled and you pursed your lips, eyes narrowing in delight. 

"Yes, he is an agent. By the way, why are you so curious?" you cocked your head to the side, leaning against the kitchen counter. 

"Name?" 

"Ch--"

"Chris Redfield?!" You jumped at the volume of his yell. You have not heard Leon yell like this before and you were shocked. Your eardrum felt like it just blew off and you huffed. 

"Jesus," you muttered, "and no, completely wrong. I've met Chris Redfield before and yes, he is hot, but I cannot imagine dating him.  And Chris's name doesn't even have a 'ch' sound, weirdo. His name is Chad Ridley." 

"Sorry, didn't mean to yell. I was going to kill Chris if you both did date," he said, chuckling to himself. You raised a brow. 

"Why are you going to kill him?" 

". . .Well, it seems I will need to go--"

"Leon, hey!" 

"--I will talk to you in two weeks! And Chad is a very stupid name!" Then the line went silent. You still had the phone against your ear and you sighed. 

"Really?" You laughed. 

You were definitely asking him for answers when you see him. 

Next

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[phobiadeficient]

Speeding bullet - scout being really braggy and boastful while 'trying' to get sniper into bed and when sniper finally agrees Scout is rlly fuckin insecure bc he didn't think it would work

scout tf2 all “ooh i got big dick energy” until he’s gotta get his dick out. ft. trans sniper because i fuckin feel like it

-

It was only half-joking, yeah, but that still meant that half of it was a joke.

It mostly started as just… an extension of what Scout was already kind of doing. It had started on him trying to get Snioer to laugh, and when it turned out he liked doing that, he’d worked hard to dig up all sorts of material. Puns and lame dad jokes and stuff, mostly. Then when he’d run low on those, he moved on to cheesy pickup lines. Then eventually he moved on to just regular pickup lines, then it somehow morphed into straight up flirting.

Kissy faces at Sniper across the room when he was trying to focus on a different conversation and pretending he hadn’t been doing anything when the other person looked was one of them that he had fun with for a while. Offhandedly saying “hot” when Sniper did normal, regular things, because to be fair, Sniper was a real attractive dude. Sniper occasionally bopping him on the shoulder for a sassy remark, to which Scout would make a dramatic noise and go “harder” just to make Sniper blush. Casually calling Sniper “babe” or “hon” when he wasn’t really paying attention just to see him sputter a bit.

He didn’t think it was ever gonna go anywhere, not just on the basis of it mostly being a joke, but also because Sniper was wayyy out of Scout’s league, as far as he was concerned. Mysterious Australian marksman, tall and handsome, real sweet and awfully polite in a way that made him the exact kind of guy Scout would’ve wanted to bring home to his Ma back when he lived in Boston and was still trying to date for real.

And he knew Sniper was into dudes, had gathered as much when Sniper one day quietly murmured some remark about an ex-boyfriend and promptly tried to brush past it. But that didn’t necessarily mean he was into Scout.

But he liked the way Sniper’s mouth ticked up at the corner when he hit him with a really good pick up line. Liked the way Sniper would sometimes roll his eyes, sometimes flush, sometimes sputter and smack his shoulder. It was nice, the thing they had going. Friends, but better than coworker friends, but kind of different than friends. It was a weird dynamic they had going on.

They were in Scout’s room one day, playing checkers on the shitty little board Scout had picked up from a thrift store at some point and never gotten around to throwing away. Sitting across from each other with the board between them on Scout’s bed, Scout criss-cross and Sniper half-lounged against the wall.

Sniper finished off his last two pieces in a double jump, and Scout swore, having lost track of the piece responsible.

“You suck, dude,” Scout complained, picking up the pieces and stacking them with the rest of his own.

“Mate, you suck,” Sniper corrected.

“Only on weekends,” Scout shot back, only a second delayed, and winked. “But hey, I can make exceptions.”

“Is that right?” Sniper asked.

This was a new bit. Sniper didn’t usually push the joke forward, or prompt him for more. Scout rolled with it. “Yeah, man,” he laughed. “I can start taking walk-in appointments for a nice face.”

“How far do you schedule in advance?” Sniper asked next, raising an eyebrow.

“Not too busy these days,” Scout shrugged.

“Might be able to say you’re able to… squeeze someone in?” Sniper asked, and Scout’s heart hammered, even as he burst into laughter.

“Aw, fuck, that’s a good line. Jesus, I’m mad I didn’t think of that first,” he managed, and Sniper was smiling too, looked away after a second.

“Thanks, mate,” he replied, looking satisfied. He shifted, not looking back. “You’d think there’d be a waiting list a mile long.”

“Fuckin’ tell me about it,” Scout groaned, leaning back to get a bit more comfortable. “I mean, seriously. There’s like nobody out here. Unless I wanna dick down on some sand or whatever, I’m shit outta luck. And most of the people in town are way too old for me, and the people that ain’t are like, either taken or super weird or just not interested. And yeah, one or two are all clear, everything’s fine, but the second the word relationship crops up, poof, gone, smoke cloud, fuckin’ witness protection levels of disappeared. What’s a guy gotta do to get appreciated a little around here, y’know?”

Sniper nodded and hummed sympathetically. “Well, I’m sure there’s one or two people around who can tell a good thing when they see it,” he said, tilting his head.

“We talkin’ besides you?” Scout asked, grinning and starting to gesture at himself. “I mean, look at this, look at all’a this! No duh, I know you’ve got two workin’ eyes and at least a little bit of taste. Even if your food is fucked up and weird.”

Sniper rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Humble, are we?”

“What, am I supposed to be?” Scout asked, cheeky and unapologetic.

“It’s alright. It’s cute,” Sniper replied, glancing him up and down.

Scout flushed. The tables weren’t usually turned like this, and it was taking surprisingly little to fluster him. “Thanks,” was all he could think of. He cursed himself for not having a better line. “I mean, yeah. Of course I am. Uh, it is. Fuck.”

Sniper chuckled, and sat up. “Thought you usually hate it when people call you cute,” he pointed out, tilting his head back and forth to stretch his neck where he’d been sitting weird.

“I mean, it’s okay if it’s… you,” Scout said, words slowing as he realized how sappy that sounded. “I—I’d be okay with—“

He stammered a little, distracted by the visual of Sniper pulling off his shades, which he almost never did, and folding them up, setting them off to one side and fixing him with a look, eyes sharp and overwhelming now that they were uncovered and Scout was faced with the absolute brunt of them.

“—I mean I-I-I’d be okay with all sorts of things,” he said, a little desperate to turn the conversation back to their standard flirty jokes. He felt way out of his depth all of a sudden and it made him a little uncomfortable.

Then every muscle in Scout’s body froze as Sniper moved forward.

He knocked over their little stacks of checker chips with his knee, sending a few in a lazy topple down off the bed towards the floor, and a gentle push to Scout’s shoulder was all it took to make him fall back onto his back, and then Sniper was over him, on top of him, inside of his thigh against the outside of Scout’s propped up on his arms.

“What sorts of things?” Sniper prompted quietly.

Scout’s breath caught, staring up at Sniper with wide eyes.

After a few seconds of silence, Sniper’s eyebrows started to furrow. “You awright, mate?” he asked gently.

“Yeah! Yeah, for sure,” Scout said right away, fumbling to try and find a good place to put his hands, settling on Sniper’s shoulders despite the awkward bend it put into his elbows between them.

“Are you… not ready, to…?” he started to ask next, trailing a little, and Scout was faced with a series of concepts. That Sniper thought their arrangement was one where Scout could be ready for this. That Sniper thought they had some kind of arrangement. That Sniper wanted him.

The last one buzzed around in his head hard enough that Scout didn’t even remember to respond.

“We can stop,” Sniper said next, and Scout fumbled for a good reply.

“No! No, I’m good. It’s good,” he said, trying to calm his hammering pulse.

Sniper sat up a little, glancing him up and down again. “It just seems like you’re nervous is all,” he said.

And he was, and he was sure his hands would be shaking if they weren’t holding on to Sniper’s shoulders. “I’m good,” he said anyways. “I just—I dunno what you, what you like, what you want.”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Sniper replied, and Scout had to fight hard not to jump at the feeling of Sniper trailing a hand down his side. “What do you want to do?”

Scout swallowed hard. “Can,” he started to ask, and he didn’t know how he could be reading this wrong but he was sure that he was, had to be, felt this was an insane thing to be able to request but Sniper had asked so he tried anyways, “can I touch you?”

Sniper shrugged, sitting up just slightly further, squaring his shoulders to open himself up. “Go ahead,” he prompted, and Scout did.

He managed to undo the buttons of Sniper’s shirt, pushing it down his shoulders a little ways before he realized he had an undershirt on and that it would need to go as well. A glance up at Sniper, and Sniper chuckled, sat back slightly, pulled off his shirt and undershirt both before he leaned back forward within range of Scout’s hands.

Scout traced across all the scars he could find with gentle fingers, trailing them momentarily over two large scars there at Sniper’s pecs. “How’d you get these?” he asked, glanced up at Sniper.

Sniper frowned. “Mate, I’ve told you already,” he said quietly, and Scout took a good few moments to realize what Sniper meant, then looked down again with wide eyes.

Somehow the words “top surgery” hadn’t brought him the mental image of big, wide scars. Suddenly he was all the more impressed with Sniper. “Oh yeah,” he said, tracing over them again. “Huh.”

Sniper fixed him with a befuddled smile, the sort of fond “are you serious, how’d you forget that?” look he tended to get from people who actually liked him, and Scout could only smile back sheepishly. Finally Sniper rolled his eyes and plucked on Scout’s shirt. “Planning on ever taking this off?” he asked, and Scout quickly nodded, trying to wrestle himself free of the shirt as fast as he could. “Easy, mate. No time limit, here.”

“I know!” Scout said a little defensively, finally getting the shirt off over his head, and Sniper smoothed down the hair on one side of his head where it was probably sticking up and looking dumb.

God, he probably looked so dumb. There lying beneath a big, cool guy like Sniper, all… scrawny and already flushing and not a single cool scar to speak of—

“Mate, it’s alright if you’re nervous,” Sniper said, worry increasing.

“No I’m not nervous why would I be nervous I’m totally cool,” Scout said all in a rush.

Sniper raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

“I mean, maybe a little a little nervous, but just because I—“ And he realized it in the same moment he fished through his head for an excuse. “I just don’t have anything to… y’know, stuff we might need.”

Sniper stared, waiting for him to elaborate.

“I don’t have any condoms or anything on me,” Scout finally admitted, surely flushed down to his chest.

Sniper’s lips parted around a silent “oh”, and he nodded. “Awright. Well, that’s fine, still plenty we can do,” he decided aloud after a second. “How’s about I tug you off, you do the same for me?”

Scout didn’t know how he was in a situation where it was acceptable to ask the thing he blurted a second later, but thank god that he was. “Can I go down on you?” he asked, not entirely sure what words he would use in the specific and not wanting to be super rude and ask.

Sniper laughed, grinning. “Sure, mate. If you want,” he nodded. Another look up and down. “Mind if I get you off first, though? I’ll admit, I’ve, er, been looking forward to the chance a bit.”

“Go ahead,” Scout said weakly, and Sniper’s grin widened, and he moved to work Scout’s pants open in simple, confident motions.

It was a little embarrassing that he was so hard already, and he had to look away from Sniper, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. Sniper hummed, and then spit into his hand, and then he was jacking Scout off, steady and nice.

“How’s that?” he prompted softly into Scout’s collarbone when all Scout did for a while was pant and gasp quietly.

“S’good,” he managed, voice shaky. “Real good. Real fuckin’ good.”

So good that he felt a moan rising up in his chest and pressed his hand against his mouth, biting down on the meaty part of his palm to try to stifle it.

“Oh, no,” Sniper chided, voice a growl, taking Scout’s wrist and pinning it just to one side of him, grinning. “I wanna hear you.”

Scout started to protest, but then Sniper squeezed nice nice nice over the head and it made his lashes flutter, his back arch, his mouth fall open in a gasp trailed by a moan, and his face was absolutely on fire.

“There’s a beauty,” Sniper purred, and pulled his hand back to spit in it a second time before he returned, picking up speed and apparently greatly enjoying the way Scout squirmed, the noises that rose up in his throat. “There you go. Nice, aren’t it?”

“Yeah,” Scout agreed, and he wished he could shut up, wished he could shut his big fuckin’ mouth for a minute before he embarrassed himself, but he couldn’t, could only whimper out praises and pleads as Sniper drew him closer to, and finally over, the edge, heralded by a weak groan and Sniper’s name.

He came back down to earth to the feeling of lips and stubble against his cheek, his jaw. Scout blindly fumbled with his newly-freed hand towards his dresser, managing to find the tissues and mop himself off, still flushed, thoroughly embarrassed.

“Cute,” Sniper hummed, looking down at him, and Scout groaned, head falling back for a second to finish collecting himself.

“Uh,” he tried to say, blinked once or twice, looked at Sniper. “Hey, let me hit you with somethin’ real quick.”

“Mm?” Sniper asked, mildly intrigued.

“How about you, uh.” And usually he was so much smoother, way cooler, but Sniper had him frazzled in a way that most people didn’t, not even that really hot guy he met the year after he graduated, the one with the leather jacket and the cologne that made him practically lightheaded. He fumbled for a way to phrase it that was hot, but couldn’t seem to find anything, and just sighed, spitting it out and cutting the bullshit. “How about you sit on my face?”

Because in a cursory glance, he’d noticed that while Sniper was smiling, movements languid and smooth in a way that meant he was very much into the proceedings, he didn’t seem to have a bulge in his pants, there being no hardness to speak of when he ground his hips forward into Scout’s thigh. And apparently he’d made the right call, because Sniper  chuckled and agreed.

And to be honest, he didn’t remember much after that. It was mostly a haze, movement and heat, Sniper’s husky voice dripping into his ears much in the same way that slickness dropped down Scout’s chin and cheeks. All he knew was that Sniper was gorgeous, and seemed to like what Scout could do with his mouth—and damn right he did, he had enough experience that he would be a little insulted otherwise. All he knew was that halfway through he found himself outright hard again, and wound up jerking himself off desperately with his free even as he continued trying to wring noises out of Sniper with mouth and fingers, muffled groans escaping him as Sniper decided to tease him about it in that low raspy voice he was starting to get addicted to.

Sniper finished first, and the rush he got feeling Sniper’s legs close right around his head drove him over the edge, bucking and making Sniper roll forward slightly and prolonging things for him.

And finally Sniper was leaning up onto his knees, reaching for the same tissues Scout had gone for earlier and laughing at the picture Scout made. His hair was all stuck up on one side again, he was pretty sure, and his face was red and shiny with wetness, lips swollen and parted as he panted, staring up at Sniper with bright eyes.

“We gotta do this again some time,” Scout said before Sniper was even done wiping himself down.

And Sniper laughed. “Sure, mate. Any day of the week.”

[choriocytosicinquisitor-blog]

-- eonianEmigrant [EE] began pestering isometricAstrourbanization [IA] --

EE: dude. i just realized that ur handle is like....hella long.

IA: 8r3aks th3 1c3 mor3 oft3n than not.

IA: ... S8)

IA: H3y.

EE: well shit i didn't know what i was sayin was so fuckin basic, lmao. gotta try to b more creative.

EE: whasup bro. i just remembered that talkin to pp on here is a thing i can do.

EE: like i can raise my socialization skill n also wear cheezy poof stained sweatpants 24/7. wut a tiem 2 be alive.

IA: To 83 fa1r, you could w3ar ch33sy poof-sta1n3d sw3atpants any of th3 day and soc1al1z3. 1f you'r3 not a fuck1ng noo8.

IA: H3ll, why 8oth3r go1ng that far? W3ar no pants l1k3 a r3al troll.

IA: 1 know 1'm not, aaay.

IA: So th3r3for3, 1'm as r3al as 1t g3ts.

EE: i mean. that's cool. if you want to free range it while we talk that's ok by me. i'm not gnna disparage ur lifestyle choices but i like to be a fab dressed dude and i can't be slippin up in the way ur suggestin.

EE: as the the only person pushin denim on denim fashion on skaia, i got a responsibility u kno.

EE: gotta edumacate the masses.

IA: 1 know what 1 must do now.

IA: Your t3rr18l3 r31gn of tyranny w1ll com3 to an 3nd on3 day... and 1 w1ll say you'r3 fuck1ng w3lcom3. 1t was m3, Aust1n. All along.

IA: D3n1m on d3n1m, jfc.

EE: it's fine if u don't understand. i don't expect ppl to understand right away.

EE: it takes time. B)

EE: altho since ur pantless ur already 1/3 of the way to full denim on denim.

EE: step 1. remove pantalones step 2. put on pantalones step 3. locate una jaqueta de mezclilla and put that on too

IA: N1c3 l3gs, da1sy duk3s mak3s a dud3 go woo-woo. Surpr1s3.

IA: Th1s was a s3gu3way to th3 1n3v1ta8l3 furry conv3rsat1on w3 w3r3 8ound to hav3. 1t's as 1n3scapa8l3 as d3ath and tax3s, 8roh.

IA: My t1m3 1s now.

EE: aight. i'm down to talk about furries. what about them.

EE: did u grow up in a horse infested hell hole like i did.

IA: Furr13s 1n da1sy duk3s. D1scuss.

EE: omg we have so much in common.

EE: ok let's talk about the concept of furries wearing skimpy clothing when they're already covered in FUR.

EE: ????????????????

EE: questions that have plagued me sine my youth, bro.

IA: Sh1t, you'r3 r1ght. L3av3 noth1ng to th3 1mag1nat1on.

EE: just when u think i've gone deep enuff i go even deeper. full forearm.

IA: W3 l1k3 to hav3 fun h3r3 on 3non1an3m1grant dot com.

EE: o bby u don't know the 1/2 of it yet.

IA: 1 know that 1 compl3t3ly lost my tra1n of thought. Mmmm.

EE: wut a shame now i'll never know what ur fursona's dick looks like.

EE: like exact dimensions down 2 every little ridge, knot and bump.

EE: btw if u rlly are a furry, pay me to draw that shit.

EE: i like to hustle around here.

EE: time is $$$.

IA: D1cks, dud3.

IA: Plural 83caus3 th3 only l1m1t 1s your 1mag1nat1on.

EE: back in my universe we only had 1 of those things and if you broke it that was tough luck.

EE: jk, i'm p sure dicks were in hot demand and supply was meetin it.

IA: 3h3h3h3. Sucks to 83 you.

EE: hahahhaha.

IA: 8)

EE: i guess u could say it's nut my lucky day.

IA: Amaaaz1ng graaac3... how sw33t th3 sound...

EE: o that made me think of nother topic.

EE: r u religious.

EE: haven't gotten a chance 2 ask anybody about that shit yet.

EE: this is a good a time as any to ask about god right.

EE: right after discussin dicks.

EE: god(s), u don't wanna assume it's singular i guess just like penises, or penii.

IA: A nuth3r top1c.

IA: Also r3gardl3ss of d1cks to worsh1p as gods, not r3ally no.

EE: dang i was rlly hopin it would be something crazy.

IA: 1'm sur3 you hav3 a th1ng to talk a8out 1t though.

IA: As th3y say 1n th3 land of 1nnu3ndos and dou8l3 3ntr3dr3. F1ll m3 1n, 8ro.

EE: as much as i would love 2 double stuff u with knowledge ;))).

EE: yeah i got nothin. i'm just curious i guess.

EE: i'm not religious it's just 1 of my 2,000 spare interests.

EE: lol.

EE: the only religion is know of is the shitty clown one. does that also exist here or nah.

IA: N1c3.

IA: Unfortunat3ly, an op1n1on on r3l1g1on just so happ3ns to 83 th3 on3 th1ng 1 fall short on. Just d3p3nds on who you'r3 talk1ng to, 1 gu3ss.

IA: Th3r3's always th3 Follow1ng of 81l1ous Sl1ck. 1t's a popular Prosp1t1an th1ng.

EE: i never heard of that. i won't bore u with it tho if it's not ur thing.

EE: u never did tell me what u were up to btw.

EE: despite bein semi nude somewhere???

IA: Hang1ng at my condo. Plac3 to stay wh3n 1'm not work1ng.

IA: F1rst rul3 of th3 hous3 1s, no pants.

EE: wtf tho if u got ur own place why u creep at the dorms.

EE: just 4 the pool?

IA: 3v3ryon3 asks m3 th1s 8ut 1t's 3as13r to fr3qu3nt a dorm than 1t 1s a hot3l dur1ng th3 work p3r1od.

EE: o aight.

EE: that makes sense.

EE: guess who else has a super important job now.

EE: u don't nee dto guess imma tell u.

EE: THIS GUY.

IA: Y3s.

IA: 3vadn3 was t3ll1ng m3.

EE: i'm workin 4 the gvnmt now.

EE: with a lady that has eight fuckin eyes.

EE: no joke.

EE: she can see all ur illegal hiphaps and now i'm her agent so watch out.

IA: Sounds l1k3 a 8last, dud3. Also t3ll N3va3h 1 sa1d sup.

EE: o u kno her?

IA: 3v3ryon3 knows h3r.

EE: >:/

EE: man here i was thinkin i was special.

IA: Ch1ll, dogg. You ar3.

EE: o dogg. bro...

IA: Th3r3's mor3 wh3r3 that cam3 from.

EE: //touches chest//

EE: i wsn't redy.

IA: Good th1ng 1'm g3ntl3.

EE: s-senpai...

EE: ://O

EE: t-taiyō o massugu watashi ni fakku

IA: G3t your w338ass 8ullsh1t out of my fac3.

IA: My pantsl3ss a8od3 1s sacr3d, can you r3sp3ct that pl3as3 and thank?

EE: watashi ni fuck u in the mouth.

EE: don't test me bro, i got like eight shitty swords with ur name on em.

IA: Mmmmm. 1 d3c1d3d 1 k1nd of l1k3 wh3r3 th1s 1s go1ng.

EE: i mean. i'm confused by u typing out "mmmmmm" like pennywise the clown but i'm glad ur havin a good time.

EE: that's all we're here 4.

EE: 2 have a good time.

IA: Sp3ak1ng of wh1ch... 1 got th1s comm num83r r1ght. 83caus3 1 hung out w1th a guy aft3r clu8 t1m3s and that's just what happ3ns.

EE: o it's story time now. ok i'm listenin.

EE: //shimmies up w/ popcorn//

EE: :o

IA: W3ll, s33. Noth1ng happ3n3d. 83caus3 1 d1dn't know 1t was on th3 ta8l3.

IA: And w3 had a n1c3 t1m3. Cut3 guy, d3af. L1k3s conv3n13nc3 stor3 food and fly1ng.

EE: das cool, das cool.

EE: i mean u got his digits so there's always next time right

IA: Y3ah, 1 gu3ss. Th3n 1 wond3r wh3th3r 1t's worth 1t.

IA: 8ut th3n 1f 1 hav3 to wond3r, th3n 1t's pro8a8ly not. L8r.

EE: idk i mean not necessarily.

EE: it depends on why u wonderin.

EE: me talkin like i got a fuckin atom of exp w/ this shit. but ignore that for now. haha.

IA: H3 cut3 8ut th3n 1'm just... gum wrapp3r and mag1c mark3r, 8ro. Factor all of th1s 1nto a pot3nt1al hook-up.

IA: 1 don't 3v3n know 1f th3 gum wrapp3r 1s h1s, lmao. May83 h3 found 1t on th3 ground.

IA: 1 m3an 1 gotta 83 at l3ast worth som3 k3tchup sta1n3d 8urr1to pap3r. Do you g3t what 1'm say1ng?

EE: mm yea i feel u. i mean mb he was just tryin 2 to be quirky? but who knos.

EE: i'd say if u got doubts ur probably right ,just don't do it.

EE: i wouldn't wanna be somebody's 2nd or 3rd choice even 4 a hook up.

EE: i wouldn't want them 2 be like "man if I GOTTA sleep with this guy i guess iw ill"

EE: u kno.

EE: that would suck.

IA: Y3s. 81t3s a l1l 1nto th3 3nthus1asm and not 1n th3 fun way.

IA: Anyway, g3n3rally "1t sucks" 1s a good way to summar1z3 1t up.

IA: Thanks, man.

EE: np dude.

EE: haha.

EE: nobody's ever asked me bout shit like that b4.

EE: i can live vicariously thru ur shenans.

IA: W31rd. K1nd of l1k3 w3'r3 8ros or som3th1ng.

IA: 8ro...

EE: n so it was written n so it shall b.

EE: they were bros from that moment on.

EE: jk, we were bros b4 that.

EE: time is relative actually so we were always bros and simaltaneously not bros.

EE: bro, i gots 2 bed. again.

IA: 1 was just your 8ro 1n wa1t1ng, my guy. Th3 for3v3r 8ro.

IA: Also y3ah, cool. R3st your fac3.

EE: aight. take care, man. B)

-- eonianEmigrant [EE] ceased pestering isometricAstrourbanization [IA] --